A/N: Sorry it's been a while. Schools started and everything. And I had a case of writers block. Wasn't sure what I wanted to happen in this chapter. There's a switch, today. We have the dark side looking at fanfiction.net. I think it's kind of funny. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I did not create fanfiction.net. I did not create Draco. I did not create Lucius. I did not create Voldemort. I did create the story, kind of. I looked up an R rated Voldemort/Harry, looked at the title of the first one, changed it a bit, and wrote a summery surrounding it. I like it, wouldn't be too bad to write. Except for... Harry/Voldemort? Anyways, that was a really long disclaimer...
Chapter 3
The door to the old house creaked open slowly. Two shadowy figures creped inside, their dark cloaks covering they're true identity. They stealthily moved toward the back of the house, when one of the dark figures tripped over a desk.
"Bloody hell!" he shouted, rubbing his injured foot.
"I though you said we had to be quiet," the other one said, sounding rather confused.
"No, that was just outside. We could be as loud as we want now," he stated, flipping his hood back to reveal long silvery blond hair. "Now, what is this confounded thing?" he asked his son. Lucius tapped the contraption that was sitting on top of the hated desk.
"That is a computer, father," said the boy, also taking off his hood to reveal similar hair. "I learned about it in muggle-studies."
"Ah, yes. Dumbledore made you take that after you got in too many fights with people defending mudbloods. I forgot."
"Yes. It was dreadfully dull," Draco declared. "This button here, turns it on." Draco pressed the power button and the computer slowly began to start.
"This is fascinating, Draco, but we are supposed to be finding out about the muggles that live here. The..." Lucius consulted a piece of paper in his hand, "Thomas's."
"Dean Thomas? Gryffindor prat!" Draco commented, pressing the mouse to bring up the internet. "We can find out about people here. We can see what they like to do by seeing what they put on they're tool bars." He pointed to the toolbar with the mouse.
"Let's see that one," Lucius decided pointing to the one on the right.
"Okay." Draco clicked. "Fanfiction.net," he read. "'Unleash your imagination and free your soul.' Sounds like porn."
"Let's see. You should go to books, because this other stuff is all muggle jibberish," Lucius ordered.
"Okay. What's here? Doesn't look like anything...Wait. Harry Potter!"
"It could be the plans for taking over the world!" Lucius said excitedly.
"Does Harry Potter want to take over the world?"
"If we're not in control of the world, then he is," Lucius reasoned. "Click on him!"
"Okay." And Draco clicked. "Characters?"
"Go to Harry Potter! Then Voldemort! Go! GO! Oh, the Dark Lord will be so happy we found this."
Draco did as he was told. He read aloud the first story that popped up. "'In Forgetfulness. SLASH. Harry Potter is captured by You-Know-Who. Amidst the torture, something terrible happens: He loses his memory. Will this be just what Voldemort needs to make Harry Potter one of his minions? Or will something else unexpected happen?' It sounds like a prophecy, Father," Draco commented.
"Yes! This is just the break we've been looking for!"
"What is?" said a cold voice from behind them. The two blondes slowly turned around.
"Master," Lucius said, suddenly serene, "We believe we have stumbled on to a prophecy about you and Harry Potter."
"Is it the one that you failed to retrieve last summer?" Lord Voldemort said.
"No." Lucius looked grumpy. "It's a different one."
"Let us see it. Boy!" the Dark Lord bellowed.
Draco quickly clicked. He began to read the story aloud.
Harry Potter awoke. He was surprised to see himself in a cold dark chamber. His hands were bound above his head and their was a slow dripping from somewhere in the dungeons.
"Spike ahead, boy!" Voldemort screeched.
Draco hurriedly skipped a few chapters. He then placed the scroll bar to a random place and began to read.
"Potter. You impatience aggravates me. When will you tell us what needs to be known?" Voldemort's chest rose up and down in his anger. Sweat glistened on his brow.
"I already told you. I don't remember anything. Would you let me go?" pleaded the green eyed wonder.
"No. If I have to torture you, I shall." The bald one then proceeded to take of Harry's shirt. His pale skin gleaming in the torch light of the chamber. Voldemort proceeded to take a bull whip and beat Harry Potter's smooth skin.
The boy let out cries of pain with something else mixed in. Something that made Lord Voldemort become-
"It IS porn!" Draco shouted vehemently.
"Lucius, what is the meaning of this?"
"I'm sorry my lord! I thought it was a prophecy, so-"
He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Pissed-Off growled, "I will not do anything now, because you are with your son. But me warned, Malfoy, it will come."
Draco started snickering.
"I mean the torturing!" Voldemort specified before quickly Disapparating.
Draco continued to snicker. "Come..."
"Oh shut up," Lucius said, before leading him out of the house.
A/N: There you go! Hope you liked it. It didn't have as many funny points, but it had its moments. Oh! How many people think I should make this R? Ailsa thought it should be, and I was wondering what the general consensus was? I thought it would be strange for a fifteen year old to right an R story, but whatever.
Ajuxliapose: Sure, do Snape. I was going to put him in this chapter, but I didn't just for you... And it was too hard to get him to fit.
Little-Bit: No! Not you too! The anime bug has affected everyone! Run!!! (j/k) Hey, what was that thing about plagiarism?
Uncontrollable: Was that a funny thing to do with Voldemort? Hee hee!
Angl: Hey! You don't say anything about Bob. I feel ripped off.\
Hyper-chika: I've do that all the time! It's so funny! This is why it's fanfiction. It's not going to happen, so we make it up ourselves (except sugarquill. They don't count.). I love Draco/Ginny!
fadafordqt: I think you want me to read that story. I am suspicious.
Okay, I think that's everyone I needed to talk to. I'm sorry if I didn't put your name on there, but these are mostly people who asked me a question or proposed something. I'll update soon, but I think I'm going back to the original group.