33 Ava
I'm scared. Like this is new. I don't know if I can go back. Do I have the courage to face the way she'll look at me? Does she really care about me? Is it worth it. would she want me back? Am I nothing to her?
I ended up here again, back at the warehouse. It's as good a place as any to spend the night. I can make a decision in the morning. I step inside. And she's here, why is she here? What's going on? I didn't want to have to do this now. I'm tired and muddy and I wanted to sleep. I'm terrified of this. Don't look, please Paige, don't look. A flash of orange, she's turning her head, I have to run. I meet her eyes and the door slams behind me. I'm six blocks away before my head catches up with my feet. I had to escape. I can't face it.
God she's everywhere! This is where I sat in her arms, watching the bay. It's not fair. I remember that feeling of safety, but if she can give me that many feelings of love and acceptance, she can invert it horribly. I'm afraid of her. I curl up on the bench, holding my knees to my chest. I'm so afraid.