title: memory - chapter seven
author: duck
rating: pg-13
author's note: so many plotbunnies, so little motivation. i'm such a lazy-ass. anyway, this'll be the first chapter under the series' new name: The Accidentals Series. i figured it was about time i gave it a name so i could stop calling it 'my AU thingie.' see the full description i added to the beginning of 'Religious Ecstasy' on svufiction.com if you want the explanation.
disclaimer: they're not mine. what are you gonna do about it?
- Special Victims Unit Squad Room -
- Wednesday October 6th 6:20pm -
"This bites ass," Olivia pronounced as she slammed the file folder closed on her desk. Elliot resisted the need to sigh in exasperation at her actions; she'd done it, with variations on the statement of course, at least twice in the past hour.
"Funny," he said, arching his eyebrow at her. "I never pictured you'd be the type to resort to childish phrases when you're angry."
"I'm not angry," she said in a silky tone. "I'm pissed off. Slight difference."
He rolled his eyes and asked, "Should I even take a guess at what the difference is?"
"Don't strain yourself; I'm more articulate when I'm angry." She smiled at him as he let the insult slide and returned to work. He'd given up on the Nichols case a couple hours ago and turned his attention to the preliminary work on a couple other rape cases in the files, but Olivia had let her focus remain on their first case. He knew she was feeling outrage for the victim, but there was only so far a detective could safely take his or her empathy before it became dangerous. He doubted ignoring it would make it go away, but until he finished up working on the other cases he wasn't going to let it bother him.
They worked in silence for a few more minutes before Olivia had another outburst, this one not quite in the direction of the first.
"Take me out dancing tonight."
"What?" He glanced up from his papers, startled by her command.
"I said--"
"I know what you said," he cut off. "But why?" He flashed a slightly subdued leer in her direction. "I'm already sleeping with you tonight," he added, his voice lowered and teasing. He knew even what even a half-leer did to her and he thoroughly enjoyed seeing her tied in knots. Though from the expression on her face, perhaps he should reconsider sleeping with her tonight out of an interest in leaving the bed unscathed in the morning. He could tell she knew exactly what he was doing.
"You can just take me out to the living room," she said, glaring at him. "But I want to dance."
"We haven't danced in a long time," he acknowledged. "I wouldn't mind a quick spin around the coffee table." Besides, they had always hashed out cases or talked about whatever crossed their minds; maybe he could bring up the idea of therapy. God knew they both needed it.
"Some Prince Charming," Olivia scoffed. "Can't even take me out dancing properly."
"I wouldn't be caught dead dancing the tango with you," he said, smirking.
"Too late," she said, nodding in the Munch's general direction. He let out a single, quiet chuckle.
"I'd forgotten about that. What with, well, you know." He waved his hand in the air.
"Yeah, I know. Take me out dancing."
"You have such a one-track mind."
"At least I know what I want."
-----
"I still can't believe you wouldn't take me out." Elliot had to study Olivia's face closely to make sure it wasn't genuine grousing, but was only half-relieved to find a relaxed look on her face. The fact that he couldn't tell any more when she was seriously upset and when she wasn't worried him.
"Well, you know me. Any time I can avoid being seen with you in public's a good thing." She laughed at him as he dipped her down. They'd only been dancing for a couple minutes, but already they'd both gotten back into the rhythm of it. It had been a long time since they'd danced with each other, but it was like riding a bicycle; the skill never really left you once you learned how. Oh sure the skill level decreased, he mused as he almost slammed them into the wall, but the skill was still there.
"Miss the fact that there's a wall there?"
"I was entranced by the pretty colors."
"No, in all seriousness, El. You seem distracted." She was looking at him with concern. He could imagine it was how he'd been looking at her lately.
"Well there is something kind of important I wanted to talk about, now that you mention it." He pulled her into a slower dance. "You have to promise not to get upset though, no matter what I suggest."
"If you're going to try to move out again, I make no promises."
He laughed and shook his head. "No, no I don't want to move out. And I don't know if I ever apologized for the way I tried to do that before--"
"No, you didn't," she said quickly. He was almost amused by her unspoken demand and decided to acquiesce to it.
"Then allow me to do it now. I'm sorry for doing that. It was immature and though I told myself it was best for you, I was subconsciously trying to avoid being condemned by you." He drew in a heavy breath before finishing. "That would have crushed me."
"I would never have condemned you, Elliot," she said softly. "You have to know that."
"I do now, yes, but I wasn't thinking very clearly then. In fact," he said, hoping to get her to agree quickly, "I was thinking that maybe we should both get some help. See a counselor on our own, you know?"
"I don't need a counselor, Elliot; I just need you."
He didn't speak for a moment, surprised by her declaration. It wasn't totally unexpected, but neither had he thought it the thing she'd say. He knew she had an almost pervasive need to be around him -- and if he let himself really explore his thoughts, he knew he'd find that he felt the same need to be around her too -- but to have her reject a counselor in favor of him was definitely not healthy.
"Look, Liv, you know I can only do so much for you. And I'm really not the best person to talk to about how you feel about me. That's something you need to take a good, hard look at too." She pressed her face into his shoulder and he felt her warm sigh through his shirt. Why did their emotions have to be so damn complicated?
She raised her head. "Oh, did I tell you Alex called earlier? She wanted to tell us Farley's out on $500,000 bail."
"That's fascinating, but don't change the subject," he chided.
"I was just thinking we could pay him a visit tomorrow and tell him the full extent of his victim's injuries."
"Olivia," he warned.
"Sorry. Can't help it." He locked his eyes with hers and gave her an encouraging smile. "Maybe you're right. That doesn't mean I want to do this, but maybe I should."
He felt lighthearted at that, like there'd been a fist squeezing around his chest and the pressure had suddenly let up. He'd been so worried she'd fight him on this he'd barely considered that she'd give in so easily. Hell, with the way she'd been fighting anyone within range of her hearing and voice, he'd been worried he'd have to drag her to a shrink's office against her will. It wouldn't have helped because he knew she had to want the help for it to be effective.
"You look happy," she commented after a few moments of only music.
"I'll be happy as long as we both get the help we need."
"Speaking of help..." she trailed off.
"What?"
"I'm tired and I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a very long time."
"Impatient to get into bed with me, aren't you?" Another round of her genuine laughter graced his ears again. He could definitely get used to hearing her cheerful again.
Fifteen minutes later though, as they both stood on opposite sides of Olivia's queen-sized bed, he wasn't so sure the look on her face was entirely happy. In fact, she looked as nervous as he felt. Their eyes met and she let out a nervous giggle.
"Well?" he asked.
"Well, what?"
"We can stand here staring at each other until we have to go to work or we could actually try to go to sleep. This was your idea," he reminded.
"I remember," she said shortly, almost looking like she was regretting suggesting it. Inwardly he laughed at her discomfort, but only as a distraction from the butterflies that were currently beating a furious tempo in his stomach. They continued to stare, despite his words.
"Oh this is ridiculous," she finally heaved out. He exhaled sharply.
"We're both mature adults," he said.
"You'd think we could handle just sleeping in the same bed."
"We can."
"Apparently not."
"Just get in the bed, Olivia."
"You first."
They started staring again, but Elliot couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out. Still laughing, he slid into the bed and made himself comfortable under the sheets. "There."
She gingerly set herself down next to him. "I'm not going to bite," he said, amused now that his tension had broken in the face of how silly they were being. He tugged at the covers just under her crossed legs. "Get under here before I drag you under."
She followed his instructions with a good deal of hesitation, slowly arranging herself next to him. He felt a hint of trepidation as she turned off the light. Was he supposed to stay as far away from her as possible or was he supposed to hold her? He couldn't follow any visual cues in the darkness and he hadn't thought to ask her before. Who needs to ask a question like that anyway?
"Um, Liv?" He reached a tentative hand out, trying to find her shoulder.
"What?" The nervousness in her voice made her sound irritated. At least he knew her angry moods better now to tell the difference.
"What exactly are you...uh...expecting me to do?"
"Uh, not that," she replied and he realized what it had sounded like he was implying.
"No, that's not what I meant," he said quickly. "I meant did you want me over here or did you want me touching you or what?" Jesus, he sounded like a anxious teenager about to get laid for the first time. He hadn't been that in a very long time.
"Well, if you don't mind holding me, I wouldn't mind either." At least she sounded the same way he did. Small consolation really, when he felt like he was making an ass of himself.
"You wouldn't mind it or you want me to?"
"Elliot, just hold me, okay?" Now that was exasperation in her voice. It was going to take forever to fall asleep, he thought as they shifted towards the middle of the bed. He muttered "sorry" a few times as they bumped awkwardly, trying to find a good position. They soon settled into a position they tacitly acknowledged as agreeable and Elliot was surprised to find himself drifting so quickly into a drowsy state. If he'd stayed awake long enough, he probably would have been equally surprised to hear Olivia's quiet, breathy snores that started a minute after he slipped into his own restful sleep.
[tbc]
author: duck
rating: pg-13
author's note: so many plotbunnies, so little motivation. i'm such a lazy-ass. anyway, this'll be the first chapter under the series' new name: The Accidentals Series. i figured it was about time i gave it a name so i could stop calling it 'my AU thingie.' see the full description i added to the beginning of 'Religious Ecstasy' on svufiction.com if you want the explanation.
disclaimer: they're not mine. what are you gonna do about it?
- Special Victims Unit Squad Room -
- Wednesday October 6th 6:20pm -
"This bites ass," Olivia pronounced as she slammed the file folder closed on her desk. Elliot resisted the need to sigh in exasperation at her actions; she'd done it, with variations on the statement of course, at least twice in the past hour.
"Funny," he said, arching his eyebrow at her. "I never pictured you'd be the type to resort to childish phrases when you're angry."
"I'm not angry," she said in a silky tone. "I'm pissed off. Slight difference."
He rolled his eyes and asked, "Should I even take a guess at what the difference is?"
"Don't strain yourself; I'm more articulate when I'm angry." She smiled at him as he let the insult slide and returned to work. He'd given up on the Nichols case a couple hours ago and turned his attention to the preliminary work on a couple other rape cases in the files, but Olivia had let her focus remain on their first case. He knew she was feeling outrage for the victim, but there was only so far a detective could safely take his or her empathy before it became dangerous. He doubted ignoring it would make it go away, but until he finished up working on the other cases he wasn't going to let it bother him.
They worked in silence for a few more minutes before Olivia had another outburst, this one not quite in the direction of the first.
"Take me out dancing tonight."
"What?" He glanced up from his papers, startled by her command.
"I said--"
"I know what you said," he cut off. "But why?" He flashed a slightly subdued leer in her direction. "I'm already sleeping with you tonight," he added, his voice lowered and teasing. He knew even what even a half-leer did to her and he thoroughly enjoyed seeing her tied in knots. Though from the expression on her face, perhaps he should reconsider sleeping with her tonight out of an interest in leaving the bed unscathed in the morning. He could tell she knew exactly what he was doing.
"You can just take me out to the living room," she said, glaring at him. "But I want to dance."
"We haven't danced in a long time," he acknowledged. "I wouldn't mind a quick spin around the coffee table." Besides, they had always hashed out cases or talked about whatever crossed their minds; maybe he could bring up the idea of therapy. God knew they both needed it.
"Some Prince Charming," Olivia scoffed. "Can't even take me out dancing properly."
"I wouldn't be caught dead dancing the tango with you," he said, smirking.
"Too late," she said, nodding in the Munch's general direction. He let out a single, quiet chuckle.
"I'd forgotten about that. What with, well, you know." He waved his hand in the air.
"Yeah, I know. Take me out dancing."
"You have such a one-track mind."
"At least I know what I want."
-----
"I still can't believe you wouldn't take me out." Elliot had to study Olivia's face closely to make sure it wasn't genuine grousing, but was only half-relieved to find a relaxed look on her face. The fact that he couldn't tell any more when she was seriously upset and when she wasn't worried him.
"Well, you know me. Any time I can avoid being seen with you in public's a good thing." She laughed at him as he dipped her down. They'd only been dancing for a couple minutes, but already they'd both gotten back into the rhythm of it. It had been a long time since they'd danced with each other, but it was like riding a bicycle; the skill never really left you once you learned how. Oh sure the skill level decreased, he mused as he almost slammed them into the wall, but the skill was still there.
"Miss the fact that there's a wall there?"
"I was entranced by the pretty colors."
"No, in all seriousness, El. You seem distracted." She was looking at him with concern. He could imagine it was how he'd been looking at her lately.
"Well there is something kind of important I wanted to talk about, now that you mention it." He pulled her into a slower dance. "You have to promise not to get upset though, no matter what I suggest."
"If you're going to try to move out again, I make no promises."
He laughed and shook his head. "No, no I don't want to move out. And I don't know if I ever apologized for the way I tried to do that before--"
"No, you didn't," she said quickly. He was almost amused by her unspoken demand and decided to acquiesce to it.
"Then allow me to do it now. I'm sorry for doing that. It was immature and though I told myself it was best for you, I was subconsciously trying to avoid being condemned by you." He drew in a heavy breath before finishing. "That would have crushed me."
"I would never have condemned you, Elliot," she said softly. "You have to know that."
"I do now, yes, but I wasn't thinking very clearly then. In fact," he said, hoping to get her to agree quickly, "I was thinking that maybe we should both get some help. See a counselor on our own, you know?"
"I don't need a counselor, Elliot; I just need you."
He didn't speak for a moment, surprised by her declaration. It wasn't totally unexpected, but neither had he thought it the thing she'd say. He knew she had an almost pervasive need to be around him -- and if he let himself really explore his thoughts, he knew he'd find that he felt the same need to be around her too -- but to have her reject a counselor in favor of him was definitely not healthy.
"Look, Liv, you know I can only do so much for you. And I'm really not the best person to talk to about how you feel about me. That's something you need to take a good, hard look at too." She pressed her face into his shoulder and he felt her warm sigh through his shirt. Why did their emotions have to be so damn complicated?
She raised her head. "Oh, did I tell you Alex called earlier? She wanted to tell us Farley's out on $500,000 bail."
"That's fascinating, but don't change the subject," he chided.
"I was just thinking we could pay him a visit tomorrow and tell him the full extent of his victim's injuries."
"Olivia," he warned.
"Sorry. Can't help it." He locked his eyes with hers and gave her an encouraging smile. "Maybe you're right. That doesn't mean I want to do this, but maybe I should."
He felt lighthearted at that, like there'd been a fist squeezing around his chest and the pressure had suddenly let up. He'd been so worried she'd fight him on this he'd barely considered that she'd give in so easily. Hell, with the way she'd been fighting anyone within range of her hearing and voice, he'd been worried he'd have to drag her to a shrink's office against her will. It wouldn't have helped because he knew she had to want the help for it to be effective.
"You look happy," she commented after a few moments of only music.
"I'll be happy as long as we both get the help we need."
"Speaking of help..." she trailed off.
"What?"
"I'm tired and I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a very long time."
"Impatient to get into bed with me, aren't you?" Another round of her genuine laughter graced his ears again. He could definitely get used to hearing her cheerful again.
Fifteen minutes later though, as they both stood on opposite sides of Olivia's queen-sized bed, he wasn't so sure the look on her face was entirely happy. In fact, she looked as nervous as he felt. Their eyes met and she let out a nervous giggle.
"Well?" he asked.
"Well, what?"
"We can stand here staring at each other until we have to go to work or we could actually try to go to sleep. This was your idea," he reminded.
"I remember," she said shortly, almost looking like she was regretting suggesting it. Inwardly he laughed at her discomfort, but only as a distraction from the butterflies that were currently beating a furious tempo in his stomach. They continued to stare, despite his words.
"Oh this is ridiculous," she finally heaved out. He exhaled sharply.
"We're both mature adults," he said.
"You'd think we could handle just sleeping in the same bed."
"We can."
"Apparently not."
"Just get in the bed, Olivia."
"You first."
They started staring again, but Elliot couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out. Still laughing, he slid into the bed and made himself comfortable under the sheets. "There."
She gingerly set herself down next to him. "I'm not going to bite," he said, amused now that his tension had broken in the face of how silly they were being. He tugged at the covers just under her crossed legs. "Get under here before I drag you under."
She followed his instructions with a good deal of hesitation, slowly arranging herself next to him. He felt a hint of trepidation as she turned off the light. Was he supposed to stay as far away from her as possible or was he supposed to hold her? He couldn't follow any visual cues in the darkness and he hadn't thought to ask her before. Who needs to ask a question like that anyway?
"Um, Liv?" He reached a tentative hand out, trying to find her shoulder.
"What?" The nervousness in her voice made her sound irritated. At least he knew her angry moods better now to tell the difference.
"What exactly are you...uh...expecting me to do?"
"Uh, not that," she replied and he realized what it had sounded like he was implying.
"No, that's not what I meant," he said quickly. "I meant did you want me over here or did you want me touching you or what?" Jesus, he sounded like a anxious teenager about to get laid for the first time. He hadn't been that in a very long time.
"Well, if you don't mind holding me, I wouldn't mind either." At least she sounded the same way he did. Small consolation really, when he felt like he was making an ass of himself.
"You wouldn't mind it or you want me to?"
"Elliot, just hold me, okay?" Now that was exasperation in her voice. It was going to take forever to fall asleep, he thought as they shifted towards the middle of the bed. He muttered "sorry" a few times as they bumped awkwardly, trying to find a good position. They soon settled into a position they tacitly acknowledged as agreeable and Elliot was surprised to find himself drifting so quickly into a drowsy state. If he'd stayed awake long enough, he probably would have been equally surprised to hear Olivia's quiet, breathy snores that started a minute after he slipped into his own restful sleep.
[tbc]