Thanks again for the reviews *^_~*
Sweet Dark Angel I know I said I was going to update after the email but the internet went funny *^O^*
Anime Master Zero- Don't they always have to find out there's no secrets in stories is there. *^_~*
Thailan- thanks *^_~*
Innconu- I love your solution about the digital world unfortunatly at the end of the first series the digital time zone synchronised with the normal Time zone so it looks like theres no easy way out for poor Sora *^o^* I like Matt too (just not with Sora) its just with his rebellious nature its so easy to make him the bad guy.
Sora and Tai- consider the story continued *^_^*
Agumon 2004 - unfortunatly life's never that simple (muhuhahahahaha *^u^*)
Bondage- :P whats gonna happen next though
KAWAII Q- DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN LIKE THAT I'M HALFWAY THROUGH IT and I love it *^O^* I just didn't want to be rude and leave a review before I read it all but believe you me I'm at chapter 7 okay- *^_^* SoRrY if you thought I wasn't reading it I mean how could I miss it :P
Digidestined of courage (and black terriermon of course!)- More about Tai in this chapter and don't worry I won't forget (I love the word Momentai anyway *^v^*)
Thanks for saying I referred you now i'll get some gold *^U^*
On with the story
Chapter 6- The Letter
About 3 months on Sora woke up, Matt's hand draped protectively over her now slightly bulging stomach. She was thankful that she could put the dreaded morning sickness and enjoy her normal breakfast without threatening to erupt. Going over to the wardrobe she scanned her clothes for her beloved (and thoroughly worn out) jeans after 5 minutes of searching she found them screwed up at the bottom. Wiping the remaining sleep out of her eyes she pulled them up only to find the button wouldn't ddo up around her waist.
"Shit!" She shouted.
"What's the matter Sora." Matt said groggily annoyed that he'd just been woken up.
"My jeans won't do up." She replied frustrated.
"Sora you are just over 3 months I think you should be thinking about maternity clothes."
"Matt NO way am I wearing some massive flowery smock for the rest of the pregnancy."
"Sora I bet there are other styles."
"And do you know where to look."
"I dunno, Mother care?" He guessed eager to go back to sleep.
"MATT that's where all the broody people go, the last thing I need is people telling me that I have a healthy natural glow."
"Fine, why don't you call Mimi, she would probably know best."
"Fine I will but your forking out for the clothes."
"FINE." Matt said rolling over so he could get back to sleep.
After calling Mimi, Sora ransacked the wardrobe again and just managed to get into her normally loose trackie bottoms and an old white shirt. Grabbing a slice of toast she waited for Mimi to come, she ended up having 4 or 5 slices since Mimi was late and she was hungrier than usual.
Town was busy and Mimi was excited as she dragged Sora round endless shops. Until the reached the dreaded Mother care.
"Mimi I'm not going in there."
"Why not Sora I heard there new Summer range is to die for especially for the young mothers-to-be."
"And what do you do in your spare time advertise."
"No my cousin had a baby a few months ago and she said Mother care was the best for maternity clothes."
"Mimi I am not wearing a pink frilly smock."
"Sora listen they from casual and comfy to suitable and sophisticated."
"Fine I'll try anything once."
"Good."
For what seemed hours they thoroughly looked through Mother care's range, eventually Sora decided on some comfy trousers and a nice tank top, a two pairs of dungarees (A/N come on what's a pregnancy without the dungarees), a stylish black skirt and off the shoulder top to match and a funky hippy chick nightie. Leaving Mother care they walked over to a nearby coffee shop. Hungry yet again Sora managed a tall hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows, a baguette and a blueberry muffin while Mimi just sipped her coffee and nibbled at her donut.
"Have you told Tai yet?" Mimi asked.
"I told you I am not telling him." Sora hissed.
"But Sora-"
"Mimi zip it I've made my mind up."
"So what are you going to do hide the baby from him all of your life, I think he may wonder why your no longer the same inseparable best mates don't you."
"Yeah well like he cares." Sora replied becoming tearful "3 months 2 weeks and 3 days since we slept together and since then he hasn't called or even talked to me, I haven't even seen him. So tell me Mimi if he really cared about me then why hasn't he checked to see if I'm okay, why hasn't he whisked me off somewhere to be with him
Why hasn't he reassured me by saying I love you."
"Sora I-."
"What you didn't know, no one knows what I'm going through at the moment, I'm carrying my best friends baby and the it will ruin my relationship and my life I just want an easy solution to make it all go away but nothing in my life is ever easy."
They finished there lunch in silence, neither knew what to say. After finishing the got up and wondered around the mall for a while.
"Sora I wanted to say I'm sorry."
"Its all right Mimi, I'm just a bit out of it at the moment." Sora said giving her friend a tight hug.
Checking out a few of the shops the came upon a charity stand. The group was called Sunny bank, around them were pictures of happy children and there parents. Walking over to the stand a middle aged woman approached them.
"Hello would you like a leaflet."
"Err yes please." Sora replied.
Flicking through the leaflet she saw many happy children, some were playing in the garden, some were feeding animals and others were doing everyday jobs with a smile on there faces.
"What actually is Sunny bank." Sora inquired
"Well it is a fostering programme, basically we deal with pregnant women or children at a young age and find suitable fostering homes. Are aim is to give a child the best life possible in comfortable and happy surroundings, there are contact deals on leaflet if you wish to know further." The woman said obviously aware that the young girl before her was pregnant.
"Thank you." Sora replied walking away from the stand with Mimi reading the leaflet. Now well out of earshot, she sat down on a nearby bench to read further.
"Sora your not really considering this Sunny Bank."
"And why shouldn't I Mimi?"
"Sora come on, you got with Tai but you won't tell Tai its his baby now your acting like you never wanted that to happen."
"Well maybe I didn't this whole baby is one big mistake."
"Don't speak like that."
"Its my baby, I'll speak how I like."
"A baby is a living thing and what about Tai was he a mistake."
"No." Sora replied after a while.
"So why is his child such a burden to you."
"I don't know Mimi, I just don't know all I want is an easy answer and Sunny Bank seems to be the easy way out."
"Don't you see your acting like this is an essay, a baby isn't a mistake you can just erase with an eraser."
"No don't you see this way the baby can have parents that'll love him and appreciate his existence, I can't give him that."
"Do you want to?"
"Mimi its not a case of do I want to, its what I can do to make sure someone else can."
"Him?"
"Yeah well if I'm having a baby it may as well be a boy."
The conversation continued all the way back to the apartments, neither realised how late it was and was eager to get home and put the argument behind them. Outside Sora and Matt's apartment Mimi turned to face Sora, a look of worry and concern flashed across her face.
"You gonna tell Matt now?"
"Yup."
"Good luck. And Sora?"
"Yes."
"I don't think you should go through with this but I brought you this."
Mimi handed over a pink package that was neatly tied up with a silver ribbon. Opening it Sora gasped, it was a little Hello Kitty doll that was dressed in dungaree's and that could neatly fit in the palm of your hand.
"Looking at your recent decision though I think you might need it more than the baby."
"Thanks Mimi." Sora said giving her a friendly hug.
Opening the door Sora found a pink envelope on the floor with her name written in scrawly silver handwriting. Curious she picked the envelope, she was about to open it when Matt came out of the bathroom a towel wrapped around his waist. Placing the envelope on the side and not one to dawdle she began to tell him.
"Hi Matt."
"Hey beautiful 1 and beautiful 2." Matt replied giving Sora a quick kiss on the lips and a small kiss on her bulging stomach. Sora winced as he kissed her stomach, she new this wasn't going to be easy.
"Matt sit down I've got something to tell you."
"Sure what is it." Placing her shopping bags on the ground she took Matt's hands in hers.
"This." she replied giving him the leaflet. She watched as he flicked through the leaflet the look of confusion crossing his face.
"Sora I don't get it?" Matt said handing her the leaflet back.
"Matt, honey, I think we should consider putting the baby up for adoption." Twisting his hands out of Sora's he stepped back and stared at her in shock.
"Why?"
"Matt I don't think were ready for a baby and I think the best option for both of us is to give it the best opportunity in life we can."
"And what about the baby how can giving it away be the right thing to do."
"Matt, its not a matter of what's right its what's best for it and us."
"WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING THE BABY AN IT." Matt said his temper rising.
"Matt stop it."
"HOW CAN YOU GIVE AWAY OUR BABY, OURS."
"MATT ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO."
"YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BUT HOW'S GIVING IT AWAY GOING TO HELP, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MUM HAD GIVEN YOU AWAY WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE AND YOUR FATHER LEFT."
"MATT STOP IT YOUR BEING UNREASONABLE."
"ME, ME BEING UNREASONABLE FOR LOVING MY CHILD!."
"YEAH WELL IF YOU LOVE IT THAT MUCH THEN YOU CAN CARRY IT AROUND FOR THE NEXT 6 ½ MONTHS COZ I REALLY COULDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT IT ANYMORE."
"YOU HEARTLESS COW HOW COULD YOU BECOME A MOTHER YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE THE CHILD IN YOUR STOMACH."
"YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE I DON'T ITS RUINING MY ENTIRE LIFE, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY I'M GIVING THIS BABY UP FOR ADOPTION."
With that Sora ran to the bedroom and flung herself down on the bed, tears streaming down her face, how could trying to do the right thing be so hard. Scrunching up in a ball she replayed the incident in her mind up into the bit about not loving the child, she had become so wrapped in the argument she had said what she had felt at that moment, inside her was a living symbol of how much Tai meant to her and yet she was scared. She was scared she had watched how happy her aunties were when they were pregnant when they said how happy they felt and how they would brood over the slightest thing yet she couldn't feel anything. Well she thought she couldn't but every time she grew excited she would push the feelings out of her mind and become the hollow unemotional Sora again. In the silence of the room she heard the click of the front door as Matt left. Becoming bored by the silence she put on her Linkin Park album letting the guitar chords and Rock band feel of the music soothe her to sleep, the lyrics travel through her mind.
When this began
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find that I'm
Not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone] I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere/only to find that it's
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain/hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone] I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I will never know
myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
[Erase all the pain 'til it's gone] I want to heal
I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I wanna heal
I wanna feel like I'm
Somewhere I belong
I wanna heal
I wanna feel I've got
Somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong.............
The next morning Sora awoke hoping to feel the warmth from Matt's body next to her but found she was alone. Searching the apartment she couldn't find any evidence suggesting that he had slept there last night. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind once again, she resumed her normal Sunday routine. Tidying the house up a bit she placed some fresh flowers in the vase that's when she found the letter she had placed on the side last night and opened it.
It read-
Dear Sora,
I know I'm the holder of the crest of courage but I couldn't bring myself to face you (the letter was Kari's idea). I know its been about 3 months 2 weeks and 4 days (see how pathetic I am) since the last time I spoke to you and this is the reason I'm writing the letter is to tell you.
I know you have been aware of the fact that I haven't been around for the past months and that's because..... Because I was sorting out the arrangements to go to an American College. I'm going to be studying law and politics.
I was mentally prepared to go until Saturday. I know you left early Sunday morning and I assumed it was because of me. I know your happy with Matt so I can't see any reason to stick around anymore.
I know this letter sounds like I know a lot of things but I don't. Sora I love you, I always have and I always will but I was never sure if you loved me that Saturday night I was able to show you how much I loved you, I meant every word I said. When that man tried to attack you everything crashed around me, your my crimson eyed angel Sora and I could never want anyone to hurt you that's why I'm leaving, I don't want to hurt you further than I have.
Sora I love more than this letter can express I know I might have hurt you but I want to be with you, to hold you, have a chance to love you. I'm leaving on Sunday at 11:30 if you love me like I love you save me Sora, save me from losing you
Forever yours
Tai
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Knocking the vase over she bolted out of the door hoping to be with the one she loved and always had.
Turn to the next chapter!
Luv
*^o^* sora_star_child *^o^
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