I_NUKEM: While Jake and Jess are on their European adventure, I've been
forced to find some temporary replacements.
Jay: Any reason why you chose me?
I_NUKEM: You're the only one I can blackmail.
Jay: What? How can you blackmail me? And why is she here?
Lauren: *looks around* What? Me? What's wrong with me?
I_NUKEM: Well I'm not about to have Sarah or Savannah here. Michael and Meddie are in England, and with Pixie unreachable, she's the only one left.
Jay: Fine Fine, you win. Yetimon had us on the ropes, each of our digimon that we sent out were struck down.
Lauren: We were taunted by the yeti digimon, who told us to give up.
Jay: The Nerdy Brit, being stubborn as he is, refused to surrender, so he attacked the digimon with Karatenmon's sword.
Lauren: Yetimon was amused by this behavior, so he humored the British digidestined and began attacking him one on one.
Jay: The Nerdy Brit wasn't doing half bad, until Yetimon grew tired of the game and stopped his movement.
Lauren: Bladeramon came to and deflected what would've been the finishing blow.
Jay: Then Bladeramon time warp digivolved to Wardaggermon and took out the support beam.
Lauren: With Yetimon distracted, the blue metallic digimon gave the final blow, before exiting stage right
Jay: Everyone got out ok, well everyone got out except Savannah and me. WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING THE GOOD LEADER MAKING SURE EVERYONE GOT OUT OK????
I_NUKEM: *shrugs* Better you than me.
Jay: *lunges at Nukem* LEMME AT HIM!
Lauren: *holds Jay back* Just start the chapter already!
Survival
Jay had never felt this cold in his life. He opened his eyes and they were filled with white. 'Am I dead yet?' He thought. But immediately shook that thought from his head as he could feel something stirring in his arms. The snow flashed green slightly as a muffled "Demiwashimon digivolve to... Washimon" sounded. Then his arms began heating up. Soon the heat drifted up and his vision cleared. Cracking his neck, he looked down at his partner, Washimon, who was working to enlarge their little cave.
"Remind me not to get caught in a collapsing mountain again, will you?" Jay asked.
"Ok, don't get caught in a collapsing mountain again." Washimon said after freeing his partner's legs.
"You think everyone got out ok? Are they looking for us?" Jay suddenly asked.
"You've got the map, you tell me," Washimon replied before widening the cavern somewhat.
"Right," Jay said, mentally slapping himself. "Now how did Pixie do it? Oh yeah! Map!"
The watch that he had clipped to his pocket glowed, the face detached from the band and fused to the spot above his left ear. It displayed a holographic map on the snowy wall. It showed the 6 colored spots somewhere far down the mountain. Then he noticed an orange dot to his side. It was starting to dim. "Savannah! He shouted and pointed to the wall. "She's still in here, about 10 feet that way. But, her signal's getting weaker, we've got to hurry." He began to pull snow from the wall with his gloves, but Washimon brushed his arm away.
"Never send a human to do a mon's job," he said. "Emerald Inferno!" He yelled. Opening his beak, he let out a constant stream of green fire at the wall. Jay started digging with his gloved hands, keeping an eye on the map displayed in the visor.
After minutes of melting snow, "That's enough, we don't want to burn them," Jay said. Digging with muscle rather than flame was more physically taxing, but it was a lot safer.
"I've found something!" He exclaimed in joy. Digging a bit more he recognized it to be Tentomon's arm. He pulled the arm somewhat gently and noticed the snow that was still blocking the bug's freedom wasn't that much, so he yanked on the arm, and slipped, causing the beetle digimon to fly across the little eagle-made cave. The digimon sat up and rubbed his head. "What happened? The last thing I remember was getting knocked out by Yetimon, and then running somewhere."
"Washimon, you fill him in while I look for Savannah," Jay said as he continued to dig.
"SAVANNAH'S STILL IN THERE?" Tentomon yelled in shock. He opened his shell to reveal his wings, flew to where Jay was digging, and began offering his assistance, though it was difficult with his insect arms.
After 10 minutes of digging, Jay yelled out once more. "I've got a glove! Its her!"
Five more minutes of digging were rewarded with Savannah being freed.
Jay was breathing hard. "Heh, well she's just passed out...she'll be fine. Lets take a break."
Tentomon landed next to his partner and began examining her. "HEY! She's not breathing! Don't humans need to breathe?"
Jay's eyes went wide. He immediately put two fingers on Savannah's neck. "Geeze, she's freezing." He paused for a minute. "I feel a pulse, she's still alive." Washimon and Tentomon began dancing in a circle "SHE'S STILL ALIVE! SHE'S STILL ALIVE!" They sang.
"She won't be alive much longer if we can't get her breathing again." Jay pointed out and the two rookie digimon stopped prancing about. He opened her mouth, plugged her nose, and began blowing air in it, beginning mouth- to-mouth resuscitation.
After his second breath he felt her pulse once more, it was exactly what it had been before. He continued the process, and after the fifth breath he was able to feel a breeze emerging from her mouth.
Wiping the sweat off of his brow he smiled. "She's ok, just unconscious." The two digimon resumed their "She's still alive" dance.
Shaking his head, Jay began rummaging through his backpack in hopes that he might come across a log or two. 'Sure am glad I was the one carrying this thing today.' He thought. His expression turned to one of annoyance. 'Great, everything's soaked.' "What we need is a fire," Jay said to himself. "Hope there's still some wood in here." He began thinking again 'Jason had us stock up on five pieces each, of course there's gonna be wood. I guess he knows what he's talking about when it came to survival.' He pulled out a wet log, and grimaced. 'This isn't going to work very well...ho well, its all I've got.' With that thought he pulled out a purple shirt from the pack and laid it on the ground. He placed the wood on the shirt and fumbled in his pocket, searching for a piece of flint. As soon as he pulled it from his pocket, he bent over the fire. Wait, fire? Sure enough the shirt was already on fire, with green flames.
He looked towards Washimon who shrugged. "You were taking too long. I'm not a patient digimon."
Jay sweatdropped, which immediately froze due to the cold temperature. He pulled Savannah so that she was right next to the fire. "That should get her temperature up."
Tentomon flew close to her limp body. "Is she going to be alright? I may know a lot about digimon, but human beings still baffle me."
"She'll be fine," Jay said. "Just make sure her temperature rises ok?"
Tentomon's mandibles opened to let out a sneeze. "Can do!"
Jay smiled at the loyalty shown by the digimon. He grabbed a soaked shirt from the bag and placed it next to the fire, in hopes that it would soon dry and be warm enough to wear. He didn't bother to see its orange color.
"C'mon Washimon, lets reinforce our little cave. We wouldn't want it to fall on us again." Jay said as he and the green bird began to pack the snow around them, even using some fire to melt areas of the snow slightly so that it would refreeze and be much more stable.
An hour passed. Jay opened his coat to reveal a soaked green t-shirt. "How's the patient?" he asked as he moved towards the fire. He placed a hand on her head, then felt her cheeks. "Well she's back to normal. She should wake up any time now."
As if on cue, Savannah's eyes fluttered open. She saw Jay kneeling over her and immediately tried to sit up.
"What happened?" She asked.
"SHHH," Jay said. "You need to go back to sleep. Conserve your strength."
___________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, on the top of the mountain, Jason was pacing. You could tell that he had been at it for a while due to the trench he had dug just by walking.
Sarah had nearly throttled him when she heard that Jay hadn't gotten out, but then she remembered whose partner it was that caused the cave-in in the first place. And so she was trying to strangle Michael. Trying was the operative term, since he continued to push her hands away.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jason yelled as he stood rock solid. "Sarah, I understand that you're upset that Jay's trapped somewhere below us, but killing Michael isn't going to do any good."
Sarah crossed her arms. "It'd make me feel better," she muttered.
If Jason heard that comment, he chose to ignore it. He rubbed his eyes out of fatigue. It was hard to admit that he was tired, and it was that difficulty that stopped him from confiding in anyone except his partner.
"Alright," Jason continued. "Michael and Medusa will be with me, helping me try to dig them out. I want you three to go to Jijimon's and Babamon's place." He gestured towards Sarah, Lauren, and Pixie. "Tell them that we've got four icicles on the way and see if they'll help to resuscitate them. Hell we could use help digging if they offer." He paused. "Pixie, could I have a word before you go?"
The pink haired digidestined stepped into the trench. "What?" she asked.
"Make sure Sarah's prepared for the worst. I want her calm, but aware of the possibility that they're..." Jason said, stumbling to find the right words.
"Dead," Pixie said. She nodded. "I can't guarantee calm, but she probably won't be after anyone's throat."
"Just do your best," Jason said and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Kakumon digivolve to..." The pink digimon said. "Garosumon."
The three girls and two digimon climbed on the bird digimon and flew away.
"Where do we start?" Meddie asked.
"Right here, and we're going straight down." Jason said calmly.
___________________________________________________________________________
Jay was cold. He had given Savannah his coat so that she would stay at a stable temperature. Now he was clad in jeans, his gloves, boots, and the orange shirt he had been warming. He was sitting down, holding his knees to his chest, in hopes of conserving body temperature. He was staring at the emerald flame burning all the wood reserves that he had with him. A faint snoring echoed through the small cavern. He turned and saw Tentomon and Washimon snoring together with their backs together. Seeing this sight he couldn't help but smile.
A soft groan came from the other side of the flames. Savannah stretched, sat up, and rubbed her head. "Great, I'm hallucinating, there's a green fire here." She said.
Jay stood up and walked towards her. "Hey! You're awake." He knelt down and felt her forehead. Her temperature remained normal. "How are you feeling?"
Savannah was a little taken aback by the sudden proximity between her and Jay. "Uh, ok I guess. Now are you going to tell me what happened?"
"The cave collapsed in on us because of the Nerdy Brit's mega level partner." Jay said. "I wish he had thought of the consequences. Even if he was trying to free the imprisoned digimon here."
This news came as a shock. "So...Where is everyone? Where's Tentomon?" She demanded.
Jay took this time to stand and stretch his muscles. "They all got out ok." He said. "Map. But its strange... Three of them have gone to the very edge of the range. I think they're probably resting with Babamon and Jijimon, I'm assuming Jason's got a plan to get us out of here. Why else would he, Meddie, and the Nerdy Brit be on the mountain still?" Before Savannah could answer his rhetorical question, he continued. "And as for Tentomon." He paused and nodded in the direction of the slumbering rookies.
Savannah smiled. "AWW THAT'S SO CUTE!"
___________________________________________________________________________
Jason did indeed have a plan for rescuing his fallen comrades. It was fairly simple. As Yetimon had constructed a mountain of ice, it was fairly easy to melt through. That was what Blazemon was attempting anyway. She dug over a fourth of the way down. She was nearing the halfway mark when she called up. "I'm starting to get tired down here, how bout a break?"
Meddie looked toward Jason for his instructions. She could see him nod slightly. "OK COME ON UP!" she yelled.
Blazemon flew from the hole she had dug, and stood on the snowy ground right behind her partner.
"Pumamon, you're up!" Jason said, pointing towards the gaping hole in the snow.
Pumamon bounded into the hole, and began using his large front paws to shovel the snow up, and out of the way.
There was so much snow coming out of the hole, it began striking the digidestined who were peering in and watching his progress. They retreated to a safer distance, using one of their digital maps to monitor the depth and stability of the trench.
"So what are the chances of Jay and Savannah being alive down there? Or do you think they've frozen to death already and when we arrive we'll just find their beeping digivices?" Jason asked.
Michael shook his head, which moved the holographic map from side to side. "Jay's a moron. He rarely thinks things through and even when he does, he does so with amazingly flawed logic... that said... if anything else his actions when he faced Cyberdramon and Titanimon have proven that he's as resilient as his crest would suggest."
Medusa put her two cents in. "But what about Savannah's tolerance to the cold?"
___________________________________________________________________________
"Why you wearing the shirt I forced you to buy at the mall?" Savannah asked.
Jay was puzzled for a minute, but when he looked down, he saw that he was wearing an orange shirt. He began chuckling. "I guess I do look a little weird not wearing green don't I?"
Savannah looked a bit more serious. "That wasn't my question," She pressed.
"Oh yeah. Well, my shirt was wet so I laid that one out to dry so that I'd have something to wear that was warm," he informed her.
"Well I think it looks good on you," She said smiling.
"You think anything orange looks good," Jay shrugged.
"Guilty as charged," She kept smiling.
Her smile faded as the snowy cavern filled once more with a deadly silence.
Savannah broke the tension once more by asking: "So... um... how did you know how to make this snow cave? I thought you live in Texas."
Jay scratched his head. "I may live in Texas, but I'm an Eagle Scout. One of the merit badges I got was for Wilderness Survival. I know all about how to survive in situations like this."
Savannah looked at Jay strangely. "YOU? You're an Eagle Scout? I wouldn't even had thought you were a Boy Scout! You play video games for fun. You're the guy who everyone turns to for entertainment. You get in fights with Michael and Washimon constantly. I thought Eagle Scouts were above all that stuff."
Jay sweatdropped. "To be honest, I really hated camping. I'm much more at home in the suburbs and cities. Besides, I wasn't the best scout in the world but I was good enough."
"And you surprise me yet again," Savannah said smiling.
Jay looked at the way Savannah had been smiling at him and couldn't contain his own smile. He couldn't understand. Sarah and Savannah had been fighting over him ever since they had first seen him. How come Savannah seemed so different now than weeks ago when they first arrived?
Jay could tell that it was the night a couple of days ago that made the difference. Something about when they talked that night changed Savannah. Before, she was a girl who was in fierce competition for his affections. But after that night, He could tell she looked different. Nothing about her had changed physically, but it was as if Jay was seeing her in a whole new light. Something that he hadn't seen before was now more visible.
Savannah was going through something similar. She knew that she had a crush on Jay when she saw him but... that was it. He was a crush that she fought Sarah for. But she had seen Jay grow up during their adventures...especially when he fought Titanimon alone so that they could escape. Now she found that she had a great deal of respect for Jay that was she had not had earlier. She couldn't ignore her heart beating faster as she talked to him.
"Jay... can I ask you a question?" Savannah asked.
Jay was stoking the fire. "I guess so," he sighed.
"Do you like it when Sarah and I argue over you?"
Jay looked at her as if she had just uttered the stupidest eleven words possible. "You two have nearly torn me apart more times than I can remember. You've even thrown me over a cliff while fighting over me. Do you really think I enjoyed that?"
"I guess not..." Savannah responded.
The silence was a little more tense than before.
"Why do you let us then?" Savannah finally asked.
Jay was perplexed. "Let you what?" He asked.
"Fight over you," Savannah responded.
Jay leaned back slightly and placed his hands behind his head. "It's not like I could stop you two from doing so."
"Well, yeah you could; you just yell at us saying you hate both of us and we'd leave you alone," Savannah revealed.
Jay suddenly sat straight again and looked into her eyes. "I wouldn't do that."
"Why not?" Savannah asked.
"It's because I don't hate you two."
There was a pause. Jay continued to prod the flames, as Savannah mulled over what was just said. She finally asked. "Do you like either of us?"
Jay set his stick down. "Yeah."
Savannah was shocked to hear Jay actually admit that, "Which one?" She asked.
Jay looked rather confused, "Well both of you of course."
Savannah smacked her forehead, "Not that kind of like. Of course you like both of us. You like all of us. I'm talking about do you like either one of us in that way?"
Jay was still confused, "That way?"
"The way Jason and Michael like Pixie and Meddie. That way."
He was caught; Jay closed his eyes and sighed, "Yeah."
Savannah thought that she already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask. But she couldn't be sure. With fear quivering in her voice she asked, "Which one?"
Jay stared at his feet and kept his mouth shut. Seconds of silence became minutes. The entire time, Jay didn't look up. The longer the silence lasted, the bigger the pit in Savannah's stomach became. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, "WELL? Aren't you going to answer?"
Jay was silent.
Savannah was starting to get upset, "I've been sitting here for ten minutes waiting for you to answer a simple question. Why is it you're so afraid to answer? Hmm? Are you worried that if you say Sarah that I'll go nuts on you? Or is..."
Jay interrupted her with a whispered voice, "..."
Savannah stopped ranting, "Speak up, I couldn't hear you."
Jay raised his voice, "I said, 'No.'"
"No what?" She demanded.
"No I'm not worried about what you'll do if I say Sarah... because Sarah's not the one I like in that way."
Savannah's heart skipped a beat, "Then... does that mean.... that you like me?"
Now, a statement like this usually brings a smile to one's face; but Jay's face looked more like that of a condemned man, "Yeah... I like you."
Savannah wanted to jump for joy, dance, and do cartwheels... but she could not ignore Jay's face and the fact she had to practically pull his teeth to get it out of him, "Jay... why were you so scared to tell me this?"
Jay was suddenly very defensive, "I wasn't afraid."
"Yes you were."
"No I wasn't."
"Were to."
"Was not."
"Was"
"Wasn't"
Savannah began holding her head in frustration, "GAAAAAH! You're doing it again! As soon as I get close to an answer you hole yourself up!"
Jay just stared at her with an amazed fear; fearful because she was yelling and amazed because he didn't think one's eyes could bug out like that.
That's when Savannah slammed her fists in the snow, "That's it!"
"Nani?" Jay asked as he sweatdropped.
Savannah placed her index finger in-between Jay's eyes which quickly went cross looking at her finger, "YOU are a person who closes himself off emotionally."
Jay gave a very intelligent response, "Nani?" he asked with an even larger sweatdrop.
Savannah shook her head, "Do I have to spell everything out for you? You don't like to reveal your true emotions."
It was Jay's turn to shake his head, "I knew what you meant. What I was confused about was how you could come to this conclusion. I always express emotion. Come on, I tell you guys what I think more than anybody else."
Savannah waved her finger in front of Jay's face, "Tsk tsk Jay. You didn't listen to what I said. I didn't say that you don't express emotion. I said you hide your true emotions, who you really are. Beneath your sarcastic, cocky, obnoxious, nothing-can-touch-me shell there is a guy who is caring, unsure, kind, and who would sacrifice his life for any one of his friends. Why are you so afraid to show me that side of you?"
Jay didn't know whether to take her shell comments as an insult or a compliment but he did know he needed to defend himself, "Well, first off I'm not cocky; I'm confident. It ain't cocky if you can do it. Second off, I don't close myself behind this supposed sarcastic, cocky, obnoxious, nothing-can-touch-me shell."
Savannah laughed, "Are you kidding? Every time we come up against a foe that will most probably crush us, you refuse to show fear. Instead you say some sarcastic comment to mask your trepidation. When Devidramon threw Serenemon right at Sarah, you dove to knock her out of harms way; but now it was you who was going to be crushed. Instead of screaming, like most humans would, all you did was say, 'That was dumb.' Why don't you want to let people in?"
Jay rested his chin on his knee and stared into the flame, "Because that's when people can hurt you." he said softly.
Another round of silence was the only sound that filled the air. After a few moments, Savannah asked, "You let someone in once and that someone hurt you, didn't they?"
At that moment, Jay did something he rarely did: he opened up, "It was my best friend. We had been friends since kindergarten. We promised each other in the second grade that we'd always stick with each other... then in middle school he decided he got caught up in wanting to become popular. I on the other hand didn't care. I was enjoying my life as just a normal kid. But slowly... he had less and less time for me. I'd call over to his house and he'd be hanging with some cool kid already or he had already made plans during school. Slowly, all of the one on one basketball pickup games we used to play became me shooting the ball in our alley alone. I began to play video games more and more, somehow hoping high scores would replace the joy I had being with my best friend. But they didn't. As time progressed, we went on opposite sides of the social spectrum. He became a cool guy, I remained a dweeb... I doubt he even remembers that promise we made in second grade. I should have never made that promise with him in second grade; I was foolish enough to believe that some stupid promise made that young would last."
As Savannah listened to Jay talk, she saw something she had never seen in him: vulnerability, pain, and sadness. She felt a need to protect him, so that he wouldn't feel that pain of being alone anymore. She grabbed the hand that Jay had been laying down idly on the ground beside her, "Jay?"
At first the thing that had attached to his right hand stunned Jay. Then he gazed into Savannah's chocolate chip eyes. Jay felt the pain that festered in his heart slowly melt away. He could no longer conjure up the bitterness he had for his friend; it had been replaced by something soft and warm. He couldn't form a word out of his mouth. All he could do was smile.
Jay's right palm slowly turned over and embraced Lumina's left. And there they sat, just smiling and staring into each other's eyes with only the sounds of the green blaze's crackle and the snore's of Washimon and Tentomon to accompany them.
That was until they felt a rumbling. Washimon and Tentomon woke up and stood to attention. Soon snow began falling all around them, some of which extinguished the flames. Jay and Savannah stood up and braced for an incoming attack.
Jay and Savannah looked at the rapidly crumbling ceiling to see...the moon? Sure enough, their cave was a prison no more. Someone stuck his head down into the cave and began looking around.
The moonlight glinted off of the goggles he wore as he watched the digidestined and their partners in the cave below. They were looking at him in some sort of shock.
"What? Did you think I'd leave you down here forever?" He said smiling. "Move away from the hole, I'm coming down with some rope." Without further ado he seemed to let go of whatever handholds he had and drop down into the cavern, landing flat on his face. A rope was tied around his waste. "OUCH, TOO MUCH SLACK!!!" he moaned.
It was then that Jay and Savannah realized that they were still holding hands. They looked each other and blushed slightly before releasing their grasp, and began gathering their supplies.
Jason brushed himself off, oblivious to the things that were transpiring, and looked around the snowcave. "Wow, I'm surprised that you guys had enough oxygen in here." He said before handing Savannah the rope. She took it with both hands and held on. "OK PULL IT UP A BIT!" The rope raised slightly, leaving savannah dangling five feet from the icy floor. Jay then took the rope, and he too was pulled upwards, with Jason following.
When they reached the top, Jay and Savannah could see Blazemon and Pumamon holding the other end of the rope. It was evident that they were the ones who did most of the hard work. They could also see Medusa and Michael give them cheery waves. Michael even commented. "Well Bloody Cowboy, I'm impressed you're not frozen solid."
Jay looked as if he wanted to respond, but he was too tired to think up a snappy comeback.
Jason crossed his arms. "I think its time for a little R&R." He told them. "Especially you two." He pointed to Jay and Savannah. "We're going back to Jijimon and Babamon's and I want you to do everything that they tell you, is that understood? They know more about this climate than any of us. They'll help you get to 100% again."
"Yes...mother," Jay rolled his eyes; the sarcasm in his voice was blatantly obvious.
"If he has that kind of attitude, I don't think he has that far to go on the road to recovery." Blazemon said.
This brought a smile to each of the digidestined present, even those who were in a life-or-death situation not 5 minutes before.
"All aboard the puma express," Jason told the two teens that were just rescued. "It'll take a little while to get there on foot, so lets get started." The two teens mounted the mountain lion digimon with their partners right behind the goggled youth. Blazemon took up Michael and Meddie and flew right next to him as he started his journey.
After about an hour, Jason could feel a weight on his back, and he could hear a faint snoring. This told him that his traveling companions were sound asleep.
It seemed that those being carried by the fairy type digimon heard the snores too as Medusa broke the silence. "Something happened."
Both Jason and Michael were confused at that remark and both let out a "Huh?" simultaneously.
"Down there, in the cave, something happened."
"What do you mean?" Michael asked.
"Something happened between the two of them. I can tell." She revealed.
"How d'you figure that?" Jason asked.
"Did you see the way he was smiling?"
"Well, yeah, but that was normal. Jay's always smiling like an idiot." Jason said.
Michael began catching onto what his girlfriend was saying. "No, I saw it too. Its not his idiot smile. Its as if he's content. Savannah had the same look."
"So what does that mean exactly?" Jason said scratching his head.
"I think it means that Savannah won." Medusa revealed.
"But that means...that Sarah lost." Michael said in a nervous tone.
___________________________________________________________________________
I_NUKEM: ITS OVER!!!!!
Coyomon: I hope you mean just the chapter is over and not your stint with this story. Otherwise I'd have to gnaw your kneecaps off.
I_NUKEM: I can always get prosthetics.
Coyomon: *sweatdrops* Anyway, what's with you? You usually don't update for months on end.
I_NUKEM: You know, you're right...*feels forehead* What's wrong with me?
Coyomon: I think you're crazy.
I_NUKEM: I WANT A SECOND OPINION!
Coyomon: Ok, you're also lazy.
I_NUKEM: *takes out stress reliever and begins squeezing.* *mutters* Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go...
Coyomon: um...yeah well read, review, or Nukem's head might shrink due to his ego not being enforced.
I_NUKEM: *keeps squeezing the reliever* Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go...
Coyomon: uh huh...anyone got a wheelbarrow handy? I think I need to take him to an asylum or something.
Jay: Any reason why you chose me?
I_NUKEM: You're the only one I can blackmail.
Jay: What? How can you blackmail me? And why is she here?
Lauren: *looks around* What? Me? What's wrong with me?
I_NUKEM: Well I'm not about to have Sarah or Savannah here. Michael and Meddie are in England, and with Pixie unreachable, she's the only one left.
Jay: Fine Fine, you win. Yetimon had us on the ropes, each of our digimon that we sent out were struck down.
Lauren: We were taunted by the yeti digimon, who told us to give up.
Jay: The Nerdy Brit, being stubborn as he is, refused to surrender, so he attacked the digimon with Karatenmon's sword.
Lauren: Yetimon was amused by this behavior, so he humored the British digidestined and began attacking him one on one.
Jay: The Nerdy Brit wasn't doing half bad, until Yetimon grew tired of the game and stopped his movement.
Lauren: Bladeramon came to and deflected what would've been the finishing blow.
Jay: Then Bladeramon time warp digivolved to Wardaggermon and took out the support beam.
Lauren: With Yetimon distracted, the blue metallic digimon gave the final blow, before exiting stage right
Jay: Everyone got out ok, well everyone got out except Savannah and me. WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING THE GOOD LEADER MAKING SURE EVERYONE GOT OUT OK????
I_NUKEM: *shrugs* Better you than me.
Jay: *lunges at Nukem* LEMME AT HIM!
Lauren: *holds Jay back* Just start the chapter already!
Survival
Jay had never felt this cold in his life. He opened his eyes and they were filled with white. 'Am I dead yet?' He thought. But immediately shook that thought from his head as he could feel something stirring in his arms. The snow flashed green slightly as a muffled "Demiwashimon digivolve to... Washimon" sounded. Then his arms began heating up. Soon the heat drifted up and his vision cleared. Cracking his neck, he looked down at his partner, Washimon, who was working to enlarge their little cave.
"Remind me not to get caught in a collapsing mountain again, will you?" Jay asked.
"Ok, don't get caught in a collapsing mountain again." Washimon said after freeing his partner's legs.
"You think everyone got out ok? Are they looking for us?" Jay suddenly asked.
"You've got the map, you tell me," Washimon replied before widening the cavern somewhat.
"Right," Jay said, mentally slapping himself. "Now how did Pixie do it? Oh yeah! Map!"
The watch that he had clipped to his pocket glowed, the face detached from the band and fused to the spot above his left ear. It displayed a holographic map on the snowy wall. It showed the 6 colored spots somewhere far down the mountain. Then he noticed an orange dot to his side. It was starting to dim. "Savannah! He shouted and pointed to the wall. "She's still in here, about 10 feet that way. But, her signal's getting weaker, we've got to hurry." He began to pull snow from the wall with his gloves, but Washimon brushed his arm away.
"Never send a human to do a mon's job," he said. "Emerald Inferno!" He yelled. Opening his beak, he let out a constant stream of green fire at the wall. Jay started digging with his gloved hands, keeping an eye on the map displayed in the visor.
After minutes of melting snow, "That's enough, we don't want to burn them," Jay said. Digging with muscle rather than flame was more physically taxing, but it was a lot safer.
"I've found something!" He exclaimed in joy. Digging a bit more he recognized it to be Tentomon's arm. He pulled the arm somewhat gently and noticed the snow that was still blocking the bug's freedom wasn't that much, so he yanked on the arm, and slipped, causing the beetle digimon to fly across the little eagle-made cave. The digimon sat up and rubbed his head. "What happened? The last thing I remember was getting knocked out by Yetimon, and then running somewhere."
"Washimon, you fill him in while I look for Savannah," Jay said as he continued to dig.
"SAVANNAH'S STILL IN THERE?" Tentomon yelled in shock. He opened his shell to reveal his wings, flew to where Jay was digging, and began offering his assistance, though it was difficult with his insect arms.
After 10 minutes of digging, Jay yelled out once more. "I've got a glove! Its her!"
Five more minutes of digging were rewarded with Savannah being freed.
Jay was breathing hard. "Heh, well she's just passed out...she'll be fine. Lets take a break."
Tentomon landed next to his partner and began examining her. "HEY! She's not breathing! Don't humans need to breathe?"
Jay's eyes went wide. He immediately put two fingers on Savannah's neck. "Geeze, she's freezing." He paused for a minute. "I feel a pulse, she's still alive." Washimon and Tentomon began dancing in a circle "SHE'S STILL ALIVE! SHE'S STILL ALIVE!" They sang.
"She won't be alive much longer if we can't get her breathing again." Jay pointed out and the two rookie digimon stopped prancing about. He opened her mouth, plugged her nose, and began blowing air in it, beginning mouth- to-mouth resuscitation.
After his second breath he felt her pulse once more, it was exactly what it had been before. He continued the process, and after the fifth breath he was able to feel a breeze emerging from her mouth.
Wiping the sweat off of his brow he smiled. "She's ok, just unconscious." The two digimon resumed their "She's still alive" dance.
Shaking his head, Jay began rummaging through his backpack in hopes that he might come across a log or two. 'Sure am glad I was the one carrying this thing today.' He thought. His expression turned to one of annoyance. 'Great, everything's soaked.' "What we need is a fire," Jay said to himself. "Hope there's still some wood in here." He began thinking again 'Jason had us stock up on five pieces each, of course there's gonna be wood. I guess he knows what he's talking about when it came to survival.' He pulled out a wet log, and grimaced. 'This isn't going to work very well...ho well, its all I've got.' With that thought he pulled out a purple shirt from the pack and laid it on the ground. He placed the wood on the shirt and fumbled in his pocket, searching for a piece of flint. As soon as he pulled it from his pocket, he bent over the fire. Wait, fire? Sure enough the shirt was already on fire, with green flames.
He looked towards Washimon who shrugged. "You were taking too long. I'm not a patient digimon."
Jay sweatdropped, which immediately froze due to the cold temperature. He pulled Savannah so that she was right next to the fire. "That should get her temperature up."
Tentomon flew close to her limp body. "Is she going to be alright? I may know a lot about digimon, but human beings still baffle me."
"She'll be fine," Jay said. "Just make sure her temperature rises ok?"
Tentomon's mandibles opened to let out a sneeze. "Can do!"
Jay smiled at the loyalty shown by the digimon. He grabbed a soaked shirt from the bag and placed it next to the fire, in hopes that it would soon dry and be warm enough to wear. He didn't bother to see its orange color.
"C'mon Washimon, lets reinforce our little cave. We wouldn't want it to fall on us again." Jay said as he and the green bird began to pack the snow around them, even using some fire to melt areas of the snow slightly so that it would refreeze and be much more stable.
An hour passed. Jay opened his coat to reveal a soaked green t-shirt. "How's the patient?" he asked as he moved towards the fire. He placed a hand on her head, then felt her cheeks. "Well she's back to normal. She should wake up any time now."
As if on cue, Savannah's eyes fluttered open. She saw Jay kneeling over her and immediately tried to sit up.
"What happened?" She asked.
"SHHH," Jay said. "You need to go back to sleep. Conserve your strength."
___________________________________________________________________________
Meanwhile, on the top of the mountain, Jason was pacing. You could tell that he had been at it for a while due to the trench he had dug just by walking.
Sarah had nearly throttled him when she heard that Jay hadn't gotten out, but then she remembered whose partner it was that caused the cave-in in the first place. And so she was trying to strangle Michael. Trying was the operative term, since he continued to push her hands away.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jason yelled as he stood rock solid. "Sarah, I understand that you're upset that Jay's trapped somewhere below us, but killing Michael isn't going to do any good."
Sarah crossed her arms. "It'd make me feel better," she muttered.
If Jason heard that comment, he chose to ignore it. He rubbed his eyes out of fatigue. It was hard to admit that he was tired, and it was that difficulty that stopped him from confiding in anyone except his partner.
"Alright," Jason continued. "Michael and Medusa will be with me, helping me try to dig them out. I want you three to go to Jijimon's and Babamon's place." He gestured towards Sarah, Lauren, and Pixie. "Tell them that we've got four icicles on the way and see if they'll help to resuscitate them. Hell we could use help digging if they offer." He paused. "Pixie, could I have a word before you go?"
The pink haired digidestined stepped into the trench. "What?" she asked.
"Make sure Sarah's prepared for the worst. I want her calm, but aware of the possibility that they're..." Jason said, stumbling to find the right words.
"Dead," Pixie said. She nodded. "I can't guarantee calm, but she probably won't be after anyone's throat."
"Just do your best," Jason said and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Kakumon digivolve to..." The pink digimon said. "Garosumon."
The three girls and two digimon climbed on the bird digimon and flew away.
"Where do we start?" Meddie asked.
"Right here, and we're going straight down." Jason said calmly.
___________________________________________________________________________
Jay was cold. He had given Savannah his coat so that she would stay at a stable temperature. Now he was clad in jeans, his gloves, boots, and the orange shirt he had been warming. He was sitting down, holding his knees to his chest, in hopes of conserving body temperature. He was staring at the emerald flame burning all the wood reserves that he had with him. A faint snoring echoed through the small cavern. He turned and saw Tentomon and Washimon snoring together with their backs together. Seeing this sight he couldn't help but smile.
A soft groan came from the other side of the flames. Savannah stretched, sat up, and rubbed her head. "Great, I'm hallucinating, there's a green fire here." She said.
Jay stood up and walked towards her. "Hey! You're awake." He knelt down and felt her forehead. Her temperature remained normal. "How are you feeling?"
Savannah was a little taken aback by the sudden proximity between her and Jay. "Uh, ok I guess. Now are you going to tell me what happened?"
"The cave collapsed in on us because of the Nerdy Brit's mega level partner." Jay said. "I wish he had thought of the consequences. Even if he was trying to free the imprisoned digimon here."
This news came as a shock. "So...Where is everyone? Where's Tentomon?" She demanded.
Jay took this time to stand and stretch his muscles. "They all got out ok." He said. "Map. But its strange... Three of them have gone to the very edge of the range. I think they're probably resting with Babamon and Jijimon, I'm assuming Jason's got a plan to get us out of here. Why else would he, Meddie, and the Nerdy Brit be on the mountain still?" Before Savannah could answer his rhetorical question, he continued. "And as for Tentomon." He paused and nodded in the direction of the slumbering rookies.
Savannah smiled. "AWW THAT'S SO CUTE!"
___________________________________________________________________________
Jason did indeed have a plan for rescuing his fallen comrades. It was fairly simple. As Yetimon had constructed a mountain of ice, it was fairly easy to melt through. That was what Blazemon was attempting anyway. She dug over a fourth of the way down. She was nearing the halfway mark when she called up. "I'm starting to get tired down here, how bout a break?"
Meddie looked toward Jason for his instructions. She could see him nod slightly. "OK COME ON UP!" she yelled.
Blazemon flew from the hole she had dug, and stood on the snowy ground right behind her partner.
"Pumamon, you're up!" Jason said, pointing towards the gaping hole in the snow.
Pumamon bounded into the hole, and began using his large front paws to shovel the snow up, and out of the way.
There was so much snow coming out of the hole, it began striking the digidestined who were peering in and watching his progress. They retreated to a safer distance, using one of their digital maps to monitor the depth and stability of the trench.
"So what are the chances of Jay and Savannah being alive down there? Or do you think they've frozen to death already and when we arrive we'll just find their beeping digivices?" Jason asked.
Michael shook his head, which moved the holographic map from side to side. "Jay's a moron. He rarely thinks things through and even when he does, he does so with amazingly flawed logic... that said... if anything else his actions when he faced Cyberdramon and Titanimon have proven that he's as resilient as his crest would suggest."
Medusa put her two cents in. "But what about Savannah's tolerance to the cold?"
___________________________________________________________________________
"Why you wearing the shirt I forced you to buy at the mall?" Savannah asked.
Jay was puzzled for a minute, but when he looked down, he saw that he was wearing an orange shirt. He began chuckling. "I guess I do look a little weird not wearing green don't I?"
Savannah looked a bit more serious. "That wasn't my question," She pressed.
"Oh yeah. Well, my shirt was wet so I laid that one out to dry so that I'd have something to wear that was warm," he informed her.
"Well I think it looks good on you," She said smiling.
"You think anything orange looks good," Jay shrugged.
"Guilty as charged," She kept smiling.
Her smile faded as the snowy cavern filled once more with a deadly silence.
Savannah broke the tension once more by asking: "So... um... how did you know how to make this snow cave? I thought you live in Texas."
Jay scratched his head. "I may live in Texas, but I'm an Eagle Scout. One of the merit badges I got was for Wilderness Survival. I know all about how to survive in situations like this."
Savannah looked at Jay strangely. "YOU? You're an Eagle Scout? I wouldn't even had thought you were a Boy Scout! You play video games for fun. You're the guy who everyone turns to for entertainment. You get in fights with Michael and Washimon constantly. I thought Eagle Scouts were above all that stuff."
Jay sweatdropped. "To be honest, I really hated camping. I'm much more at home in the suburbs and cities. Besides, I wasn't the best scout in the world but I was good enough."
"And you surprise me yet again," Savannah said smiling.
Jay looked at the way Savannah had been smiling at him and couldn't contain his own smile. He couldn't understand. Sarah and Savannah had been fighting over him ever since they had first seen him. How come Savannah seemed so different now than weeks ago when they first arrived?
Jay could tell that it was the night a couple of days ago that made the difference. Something about when they talked that night changed Savannah. Before, she was a girl who was in fierce competition for his affections. But after that night, He could tell she looked different. Nothing about her had changed physically, but it was as if Jay was seeing her in a whole new light. Something that he hadn't seen before was now more visible.
Savannah was going through something similar. She knew that she had a crush on Jay when she saw him but... that was it. He was a crush that she fought Sarah for. But she had seen Jay grow up during their adventures...especially when he fought Titanimon alone so that they could escape. Now she found that she had a great deal of respect for Jay that was she had not had earlier. She couldn't ignore her heart beating faster as she talked to him.
"Jay... can I ask you a question?" Savannah asked.
Jay was stoking the fire. "I guess so," he sighed.
"Do you like it when Sarah and I argue over you?"
Jay looked at her as if she had just uttered the stupidest eleven words possible. "You two have nearly torn me apart more times than I can remember. You've even thrown me over a cliff while fighting over me. Do you really think I enjoyed that?"
"I guess not..." Savannah responded.
The silence was a little more tense than before.
"Why do you let us then?" Savannah finally asked.
Jay was perplexed. "Let you what?" He asked.
"Fight over you," Savannah responded.
Jay leaned back slightly and placed his hands behind his head. "It's not like I could stop you two from doing so."
"Well, yeah you could; you just yell at us saying you hate both of us and we'd leave you alone," Savannah revealed.
Jay suddenly sat straight again and looked into her eyes. "I wouldn't do that."
"Why not?" Savannah asked.
"It's because I don't hate you two."
There was a pause. Jay continued to prod the flames, as Savannah mulled over what was just said. She finally asked. "Do you like either of us?"
Jay set his stick down. "Yeah."
Savannah was shocked to hear Jay actually admit that, "Which one?" She asked.
Jay looked rather confused, "Well both of you of course."
Savannah smacked her forehead, "Not that kind of like. Of course you like both of us. You like all of us. I'm talking about do you like either one of us in that way?"
Jay was still confused, "That way?"
"The way Jason and Michael like Pixie and Meddie. That way."
He was caught; Jay closed his eyes and sighed, "Yeah."
Savannah thought that she already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask. But she couldn't be sure. With fear quivering in her voice she asked, "Which one?"
Jay stared at his feet and kept his mouth shut. Seconds of silence became minutes. The entire time, Jay didn't look up. The longer the silence lasted, the bigger the pit in Savannah's stomach became. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, "WELL? Aren't you going to answer?"
Jay was silent.
Savannah was starting to get upset, "I've been sitting here for ten minutes waiting for you to answer a simple question. Why is it you're so afraid to answer? Hmm? Are you worried that if you say Sarah that I'll go nuts on you? Or is..."
Jay interrupted her with a whispered voice, "..."
Savannah stopped ranting, "Speak up, I couldn't hear you."
Jay raised his voice, "I said, 'No.'"
"No what?" She demanded.
"No I'm not worried about what you'll do if I say Sarah... because Sarah's not the one I like in that way."
Savannah's heart skipped a beat, "Then... does that mean.... that you like me?"
Now, a statement like this usually brings a smile to one's face; but Jay's face looked more like that of a condemned man, "Yeah... I like you."
Savannah wanted to jump for joy, dance, and do cartwheels... but she could not ignore Jay's face and the fact she had to practically pull his teeth to get it out of him, "Jay... why were you so scared to tell me this?"
Jay was suddenly very defensive, "I wasn't afraid."
"Yes you were."
"No I wasn't."
"Were to."
"Was not."
"Was"
"Wasn't"
Savannah began holding her head in frustration, "GAAAAAH! You're doing it again! As soon as I get close to an answer you hole yourself up!"
Jay just stared at her with an amazed fear; fearful because she was yelling and amazed because he didn't think one's eyes could bug out like that.
That's when Savannah slammed her fists in the snow, "That's it!"
"Nani?" Jay asked as he sweatdropped.
Savannah placed her index finger in-between Jay's eyes which quickly went cross looking at her finger, "YOU are a person who closes himself off emotionally."
Jay gave a very intelligent response, "Nani?" he asked with an even larger sweatdrop.
Savannah shook her head, "Do I have to spell everything out for you? You don't like to reveal your true emotions."
It was Jay's turn to shake his head, "I knew what you meant. What I was confused about was how you could come to this conclusion. I always express emotion. Come on, I tell you guys what I think more than anybody else."
Savannah waved her finger in front of Jay's face, "Tsk tsk Jay. You didn't listen to what I said. I didn't say that you don't express emotion. I said you hide your true emotions, who you really are. Beneath your sarcastic, cocky, obnoxious, nothing-can-touch-me shell there is a guy who is caring, unsure, kind, and who would sacrifice his life for any one of his friends. Why are you so afraid to show me that side of you?"
Jay didn't know whether to take her shell comments as an insult or a compliment but he did know he needed to defend himself, "Well, first off I'm not cocky; I'm confident. It ain't cocky if you can do it. Second off, I don't close myself behind this supposed sarcastic, cocky, obnoxious, nothing-can-touch-me shell."
Savannah laughed, "Are you kidding? Every time we come up against a foe that will most probably crush us, you refuse to show fear. Instead you say some sarcastic comment to mask your trepidation. When Devidramon threw Serenemon right at Sarah, you dove to knock her out of harms way; but now it was you who was going to be crushed. Instead of screaming, like most humans would, all you did was say, 'That was dumb.' Why don't you want to let people in?"
Jay rested his chin on his knee and stared into the flame, "Because that's when people can hurt you." he said softly.
Another round of silence was the only sound that filled the air. After a few moments, Savannah asked, "You let someone in once and that someone hurt you, didn't they?"
At that moment, Jay did something he rarely did: he opened up, "It was my best friend. We had been friends since kindergarten. We promised each other in the second grade that we'd always stick with each other... then in middle school he decided he got caught up in wanting to become popular. I on the other hand didn't care. I was enjoying my life as just a normal kid. But slowly... he had less and less time for me. I'd call over to his house and he'd be hanging with some cool kid already or he had already made plans during school. Slowly, all of the one on one basketball pickup games we used to play became me shooting the ball in our alley alone. I began to play video games more and more, somehow hoping high scores would replace the joy I had being with my best friend. But they didn't. As time progressed, we went on opposite sides of the social spectrum. He became a cool guy, I remained a dweeb... I doubt he even remembers that promise we made in second grade. I should have never made that promise with him in second grade; I was foolish enough to believe that some stupid promise made that young would last."
As Savannah listened to Jay talk, she saw something she had never seen in him: vulnerability, pain, and sadness. She felt a need to protect him, so that he wouldn't feel that pain of being alone anymore. She grabbed the hand that Jay had been laying down idly on the ground beside her, "Jay?"
At first the thing that had attached to his right hand stunned Jay. Then he gazed into Savannah's chocolate chip eyes. Jay felt the pain that festered in his heart slowly melt away. He could no longer conjure up the bitterness he had for his friend; it had been replaced by something soft and warm. He couldn't form a word out of his mouth. All he could do was smile.
Jay's right palm slowly turned over and embraced Lumina's left. And there they sat, just smiling and staring into each other's eyes with only the sounds of the green blaze's crackle and the snore's of Washimon and Tentomon to accompany them.
That was until they felt a rumbling. Washimon and Tentomon woke up and stood to attention. Soon snow began falling all around them, some of which extinguished the flames. Jay and Savannah stood up and braced for an incoming attack.
Jay and Savannah looked at the rapidly crumbling ceiling to see...the moon? Sure enough, their cave was a prison no more. Someone stuck his head down into the cave and began looking around.
The moonlight glinted off of the goggles he wore as he watched the digidestined and their partners in the cave below. They were looking at him in some sort of shock.
"What? Did you think I'd leave you down here forever?" He said smiling. "Move away from the hole, I'm coming down with some rope." Without further ado he seemed to let go of whatever handholds he had and drop down into the cavern, landing flat on his face. A rope was tied around his waste. "OUCH, TOO MUCH SLACK!!!" he moaned.
It was then that Jay and Savannah realized that they were still holding hands. They looked each other and blushed slightly before releasing their grasp, and began gathering their supplies.
Jason brushed himself off, oblivious to the things that were transpiring, and looked around the snowcave. "Wow, I'm surprised that you guys had enough oxygen in here." He said before handing Savannah the rope. She took it with both hands and held on. "OK PULL IT UP A BIT!" The rope raised slightly, leaving savannah dangling five feet from the icy floor. Jay then took the rope, and he too was pulled upwards, with Jason following.
When they reached the top, Jay and Savannah could see Blazemon and Pumamon holding the other end of the rope. It was evident that they were the ones who did most of the hard work. They could also see Medusa and Michael give them cheery waves. Michael even commented. "Well Bloody Cowboy, I'm impressed you're not frozen solid."
Jay looked as if he wanted to respond, but he was too tired to think up a snappy comeback.
Jason crossed his arms. "I think its time for a little R&R." He told them. "Especially you two." He pointed to Jay and Savannah. "We're going back to Jijimon and Babamon's and I want you to do everything that they tell you, is that understood? They know more about this climate than any of us. They'll help you get to 100% again."
"Yes...mother," Jay rolled his eyes; the sarcasm in his voice was blatantly obvious.
"If he has that kind of attitude, I don't think he has that far to go on the road to recovery." Blazemon said.
This brought a smile to each of the digidestined present, even those who were in a life-or-death situation not 5 minutes before.
"All aboard the puma express," Jason told the two teens that were just rescued. "It'll take a little while to get there on foot, so lets get started." The two teens mounted the mountain lion digimon with their partners right behind the goggled youth. Blazemon took up Michael and Meddie and flew right next to him as he started his journey.
After about an hour, Jason could feel a weight on his back, and he could hear a faint snoring. This told him that his traveling companions were sound asleep.
It seemed that those being carried by the fairy type digimon heard the snores too as Medusa broke the silence. "Something happened."
Both Jason and Michael were confused at that remark and both let out a "Huh?" simultaneously.
"Down there, in the cave, something happened."
"What do you mean?" Michael asked.
"Something happened between the two of them. I can tell." She revealed.
"How d'you figure that?" Jason asked.
"Did you see the way he was smiling?"
"Well, yeah, but that was normal. Jay's always smiling like an idiot." Jason said.
Michael began catching onto what his girlfriend was saying. "No, I saw it too. Its not his idiot smile. Its as if he's content. Savannah had the same look."
"So what does that mean exactly?" Jason said scratching his head.
"I think it means that Savannah won." Medusa revealed.
"But that means...that Sarah lost." Michael said in a nervous tone.
___________________________________________________________________________
I_NUKEM: ITS OVER!!!!!
Coyomon: I hope you mean just the chapter is over and not your stint with this story. Otherwise I'd have to gnaw your kneecaps off.
I_NUKEM: I can always get prosthetics.
Coyomon: *sweatdrops* Anyway, what's with you? You usually don't update for months on end.
I_NUKEM: You know, you're right...*feels forehead* What's wrong with me?
Coyomon: I think you're crazy.
I_NUKEM: I WANT A SECOND OPINION!
Coyomon: Ok, you're also lazy.
I_NUKEM: *takes out stress reliever and begins squeezing.* *mutters* Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go...
Coyomon: um...yeah well read, review, or Nukem's head might shrink due to his ego not being enforced.
I_NUKEM: *keeps squeezing the reliever* Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go... Just two more carriers to go...
Coyomon: uh huh...anyone got a wheelbarrow handy? I think I need to take him to an asylum or something.