IV
With a whistle, as he shuffled his cards absently, Remy headed down the hall, towards his and Rogue's rooms, wondering why his P'tite had missed the 7:00 am debriefing that Scott had made them suffer through that morning. She'd been up early every morning for the week and a half that they had been home, partially because he had been there to wake her up every day with his distracting tactics. The evening before, however he'd had to go out with Scott and Logan to round up a group of curfew breakers, namely the older boys, who had gone into town and hadn't been back for lights out at midnight. Since he hadn't gotten back until after two in the morning, he'd opted to sleep in his old room across the hall, instead of waking Rogue and Trey up by coming in so late and stomping around the apartment.
He had discovered quite by fact that morning, that after a mere week of sleeping in the same bed as Rogue, he no longer liked waking alone and that even one night apart made him miss her. It was a different situation at the manor now that they were a couple again, he still had his apartment and she had hers but he was spending the nights with her, and most of his days as well. He had the feeling, he wouldn't be living in his rooms for much longer, most of his cloths were already in her closets and his possessions were slowly wheedling there way across the hall. A year ago that would have scared the hell out of him, and now it was all he wanted. Time really could change things fast; he was beginning to realize just how true that was.
He stopped at their door, and swiped the pass key through the lock, part of Xavier's new security features, and opened the door slipping inside and shutting it behind him. He'd expected to find the flat, still and quiet but to his surprise, the TV was on and Trey was sitting on the couch, dressed, watching Spiderman cartoons. He looked up as Remy came in, jumping off of the couch and running to him with his arms extended.
"Papa, Papa, Papa!" he said as Remy swung him up in his arms and kissed the top of his head.
"Hey son," he said, as he settled him in his arms. "What'cha doing?"
"Watching 'Toons." Trey said as Remy walked them into the living room and set him back on the couch settling beside him. "Waiting for Mama."
"Where is your Mama?" Remy asked, looking around worriedly. It wasn't like her to leave Trey alone, for any period of time.
"She's in da bathroom." Trey said as he began to watch cartoons again.
"Still in da shower, huh?" Remy asked, ruffling his son's hair.
"No.", Trey said innocently as Remy handed him his deck of cards and he began to play with them. "She's throw' in up."
Remy looked at his son as worry began to surge through him. "Are you sure Trey?"
The little boy nodded as he began to clumsily try and shuffle the cards like his father had showed him. "Uh huh."
"Right", Remy said standing. "You stay here and play, practice what Papa showed ya, all right. Papa's gonna go see if your Mama's okay." He turned and gave his son one final kiss on the head before, leaving the room and heading towards her bathroom, located off of the bedroom.
He entered and crossed the empty bedroom, hearing the tell tale sound of someone being sick to their stomach as he approached the door and knocked softly. "Chere.", he called through it as he heard the toilet flush. "Ya be alright in den there?"
"Ah'm fine." Rogue called back in a raspy voice, soon followed by the sound of water running. When she opened the door a moment later and emerged, the pallor of her skin alarmed him immediately as did the deep circles under her eyes. She was already dressed in her workout cloths with her hair pulled high on top of her head in a pony tail but she looked like she hadn't slept at all or even tried too.
"Are you sure?" he asked as he followed her out of the bedroom and back out into the living room, not believing her one bit.
"Yeah," she said, heading for the fridge and pouring herself a glass of juice. "It's just ah upset stomach, that's all." She turned to Trey, who had followed them into the kitchen "Could you go get your backpack, baby? we gotta go."
He nodded and, turning ran to get it from his room.
"Ya missed da debriefing, dis morning, dat's all." Remy said, crossing his arms over her chest as he watched her concerned. "Scooter wasn't pleased."
"Ah slept through it, okay?" she said as she put her glass in the sink and turned to face him.
Remy doubted it; he suspected from the look of her that she'd been sick all night and in the bathroom but he wasn't going to push her on the issue. She looked like hell on a stick, but he wasn't going to say that ether, he wanted to have sex again with her in his life time. "Alright," he said "It wasn't much anyways, just filling us all in on Magneto's movements, Remy'll fill you in."
Rogue nodded, rubbing her temple as they both headed for the door of the apartment. "You sure you want to go?" he asked as he wrapped an arm around her protectively. "Ya looked beat, girl."
"Ah'm fine, really." she said as Trey joined them and they headed out the apartment door. "It's nothing to worry about." She gave him a glance over as she locked the door and they started towards the daycare. "You didn't come in last night," she said absently "I was worried."
"Sorry hon." he said as he kissed her hair. "It took us four night clubs and two bars, ta find da boys. Remy didn't get home till after two, he didn't want to wake you by coming in that late."
"Ah was up.", she said mildly as they reached the daycare.
Of that he had no doubt now, with the way she looked at the moment.
He watched as Trey scampered off to play with his friends and then turned back to her. "Ya ready?" he asked as they headed towards The Danger Room.
"Yup," she said praying she was hiding the way she was feeling well enough.
In actuality her head was pounding, her throat was sore and her stomach felt like it was on a roller coaster, it had all night and most of the day before but she'd been ignoring it. Her good sense was telling, this was no physical state to train, she should know better, in but her stubborn nature was saying, she wasn't going to let a little stomach bug stop her from completing the new team training drills. Still her good sense was nagging, her that training wasn't a good idea that she should go home and rest but she pushed them aside as they reached the steel doors to the round room.
Remy stopped her, just as they were hurrying in. " Now, your sure your up to dis, cause Remy's thinkin it's better idea to go back upstairs and call Jean to have a look at you.."
"Ah told a million time, Ah'm fine", she snapped as she suppressed a cough. She groaned inwardly as she acknowledged she was coming down with something.
Remy shook his head. "Remy don't like dis, it ain't right, you be in no to state to fight today, even pretend fighting. Your sick, Rogue, let's just go home, so you can sleep it off."
"No," she said childishly, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away.
"Dis is what Jean is talking 'bout.", he said quietly, not wanting the others to her them arguing in the hallway. "Ya don't take care of yourself, you push yourself girl, when you should be taken it easy."
She pulled opened the gym door without waiting for him and went inside as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Obstinate", he muttered as he followed her, not surprised to find they were the last one's there. Jubilee, Scott, Jean, Kitty and Sam " Cannonball" Guthrie all turned and looked their way as they crossed the gym, and took their places among the group. Bobby Drake was noticeably absent, and Gambit felt a moment of sadness as he remembered he had left the team a week before after a disagreement with Cykes and the Professor, he was a good fighter, it was a hell of a shame to lose him.
Scott gave Rogue the once over from his position off to the side and Rogue knew she'd be getting a lecture from him after the training session was over. She'd have to point out that Cannonball rarely ever came to group training, (hell he rarely ever got up before noon) just to save her ass, she just knew it.
Jean for her part came over to stand beside Rogue, looking concerned as she took in her friend's haggard air. "You alright?" she asked quietly, so only they could hear. She didn't want to alert the team to Rogue's condition if it was nothing serious. She looked fine outwardly for most parts, but Jean knew (And she knew Gambit knew) Rogue well enough to pick up on the fact she was feeling poorly if the signs were faint, the rest of the team would quickly pick up on it as well.
As the school's doctor, Jean wasn't about to let Rouge enter training stimulation if she was sick and couldn't handle it, it was far too dangerous for both herself and the team because they were counting on her. As Rogue's friend she was worried because Rogue looked awful and it scared and worried her for her friends well being.
"Fine.", Rogue said and she knew Jean didn't believe her for an instant. She winced inwardly, as she mentally kicked herself for trying to fool, not only her best friend and a telepath, at that, that she was fine when she wasn't.
"I don't think so", Jean said worriedly as she looked into her friends eyes and saw the fatigue there. "I don't buy it Rogue, I know you to well"
Scott walked over as the others looked at them in concern. " Everything all right?", he asked watching as Rogue rolled her eyes like the defiant teenager he'd used to know when she'd first arrived at the mansion.
"No," Gambit put in as he stepped in on the situation, Rogue could feel her control on the situation slipping away like silk in tornado and she didn't like it. "Da P'tite one here be sick, but too damn stubborn to admit it."
"Ah'm fine," Rogue put in as she rubbed her temples. "And damned tired of saying it, Ah been saying it all morning." True be told, she was just tired, her bones ached like someone was clubbing her with Remy's 'Bo Staff , which coincidentally she noticed he'd brought with him that morning, for the first time since he'd been back.
"You don't look fine," Jubilee said concerned from the side. "And there is a bad flu going around the mansion, most of the kids in the daycare have it right now, I'm only at half capacity." Which meant Rogue could have easily caught it from Trey, even if he was only carrying the virus and not sick himself.
"Ah don't have the flu", Rogue said. "Ah don't get sick, ever since Ah absorbed Logan's powers."
"Well that's just great," Jubilee said stoically. "Except, if you look around, you'll notice he's not here. He's sick with the flu, in bed, where I left him." The last part was muttered but Rogue heard it anyways.
Rogue could feel herself going down as much as she didn't want too. "Ah'm not sick." she insisted but even as she said it though, a wave of dizziness and nausea hit her and the room seemed to tilt on an odd angle. She took a step back, and shook her head a bit, trying to clear it away as she fought her raging stomach into submission.
"Rogue!" Remy said, catching her arm as she tried to steady herself. Rogue looked at him, and tried again to clear her head as her vision blurred for a moment and she saw two of him. She opened her mouth to tell him she was okay but at that moment the world tilted again, and then began to spin around her. She felt herself begin to fall, and was vaguely aware of Remy catching her, as she passed out cold and total blackness overtook her.
Twenty minutes later in the infirmary, Remy leaned against the wall outside as he waited for Jean to finish examining Rogue. He tried to calm the fear in his gut as he took a drag off of the cigarette he was holding, letting the smoke drift towards the ceiling. He felt guilt wash through him as he thought of her lying unconscious, he should have forced her to go home and rest but she just wouldn't listen to him.
He'd carried her to the infirmary and he'd been shocked at how hot she felt in his arms, she was burning with fever and he'd never even noticed, even when he'd had his arm around her. It had to be pretty bad if her fever was that high, he didn't understand why he hadn't picked up on just how bad she was until it was too late.
Remy had wanted to be in the room with her when Jean examined her, but Jean had insisted he wait outside while she worked on Rogue. It had taken Sam and Scott to hold him back from following her in, and even then he was sure he'd given Cannonball, a few bruised ribs in the process.
Hearing a noise, Remy whirled around as Jean emerged from the examining room, carrying a tray of medical instruments in her hands. She raised an eyebrow at the ciggy in his hand as she moved past him to set the tray on a near by lab table. "I could say a lot about you smoking that in here." she said as she turned to face him.
"Wouldn't do a damned good though," he said as took a final drag and dropped the butt in near by metal basin. "How is she?"
Jean smiled, seeing how worried he was and walking over, patted him on the shoulder. "She's going to be fine, Remy, it's just the flu, it's a severe strain of the flu, but it's just the flu none the less. "
"So it wasn't her blood pressure?" he asked, heaving a sigh of relief.
"No," Jean said as she made a notation on Rogue's charts, "That was actually normal." She sighed as she took off her glasses and set them aside. "This flu is hitting the mansion hard, I've seen more cases of it in the last few days then I ever have before, and it's not even flu season."
She watched as Remy sunk against the wall, and she could see the emotions he was trying to suppress as he hung his head in relief. "Hey", she said as she walked over to him and tipped his chin towards her. "It's just the flu, she's gonna be fine, LeBeau, just give it a few days."
She knew even as she said it though, it didn't matter. It didn't matter if it was a few day, or a week its might as well have been a million years because it was someone he loved. She knew because she got the same way whenever Scott or the kids were sick, time stopped until they were well again.
"She just looked so... white," he said quietly. "And small… helpless", he looked up at Jean, as he cleared his throat. "She was so still when we brought her in, when Remy was carrying her, she didn't move none. Remy's not used to seeing her like dat, it threw him for a loop, Red."
"I know." she said " And I know what your feeling but the good thing is, it's not something serious, she'll get over this. Maybe it'll prod her to start taking care of herself."
"She'd got me to do dat for her," Remy said gruffly.
"She's a lucky woman then," Jean smiled. "Seriously thought, I know what you're feeling, the first time Scott got sick when we were together, I nearly went crazy with worry and Scott did the same thing, the first time Livvy got a cold, now he sleeps through them.",
Remy laughed. "Can I go in and see her?"
Jean raised an eyebrow as she went back to her work. "Actually I'm surprised you're not already in there, Cajun."
Remy nodded and turning went into the side room where Rogue lay, sleeping from the sedative Jean had given her. She really did look small and pale, among the blankets, the sheets almost matched the color of her skin He smoothed back her hair as he took a seat beside the bed, and decided to wait and let her wake up on her own. Trey was at the daycare, so he had time and Rogue needed the sleep. He leaned forward and took her gloved hand in his own, kissing the back of it as he sat back in his chair.
And then he waited.
Rogue slowly came around and opened her eyes for a brief instant then shut them as a pain sliced through her temples. She waited for a moment then open them again, slowly becoming aware of her surrounding as she did so. She was vaguely aware of the fact that she was lying in a bed, wrapped in blankets and it wasn't her bed, in her room. As she moved gingerly, she noticed that an IV, attached to a bag of fluids was inserted in her left wrist and the events of that morning came back to her in a dizzying rush of memories. As it did she sunk back against the pillows again with a frustrated sigh, she was sick and in the med lab, the last place she'd ever wanted to be.
Rogue winced as the last of the painkillers began to wear off, her back ached something fierce and her chest and throat ached as well. She moved to shift to her side, only to be stopped by something heavy lying beside her.
She turned her head slowly to see what it was and smiled as she saw the top of a head of auburn hair, resting on the bed at her side. Remy was sound asleep, with his head on his arms, on the edge of the bed. Becoming more alert by the minute, Rouge noticed someone had thoughtfully clad her in a hospital gown and left her gloves on her hands. She reached up and stroked the top of Remy's head, running her fingers through his hair as he jerked awake at her touch.
"Hey," she said weakly.
"Hey, yourself," he said as he sat up and took her hand, kissing the back of it as he watched her cautiously. "How ya be feeling?"
"Tired", she said honestly. "And sore." She'd no sooner spoken then a coughing jag took her by surprise, taking her breath away as it escalated into a full fledged fit. Remy quickly helped her sit up and take a drink from a glass of water from the nearby night stand. After it was over he settled her back against the pillows and pushed her hair out of her eyes as she tried to speak. "That was fun," she said sarcastically. "Let's never do it again okay?"
He smiled but she could see the worry in his eyes. "If dat's what ya want chere."
Rogue took a wheezing breath and let it out slowly. "How long was Ah out?"
"A good portion of da day," he said "Its dinner now."
"Where's Trey?" she asked wearily.
"With Jean and Cykes, having dinner," he said "Remy sent him off earlier."
"Does he know Ah'm in here?" she asked, hating the fact she had to play twenty questions to find anything out.
Remy nodded "Jean said your gonna be in here few days, so I told him that Mama has a bad cold and has to stay in the med lab. Jean's gonna bring him down for a bit later before I go put him to bed."
"So what's wrong with me?" she asked. "The flu, I take it?"
He nodded again. "Yeah, thank da gods, it wasn't anything worse. You'll be good as new in a couple of weeks."
"Weeks? That bad huh?" she muttered "And Ah have to stay here for a few days?"
"Jean says, ya can go up to our rooms in a few days if ya feel up to it", he said. "But it all depends on how you feel," he shook his head. "Ya gave us all a good scare P'tite one, Remy especially."
"Ah'm sorry," she said as she coughed again. "Ah didn't mean too."
"Remy knows," said as he stroked her brow. "What Remy's unclear off, is why da hell you didn't say you were feeling as poor as you were?" He glowered at her unconvincingly as he spoke. He'd been able to see something was wrong, he just didn't think it was that bad "You should have spoken up."
Rogue changed the subject quickly. "Have ya'll noticed that all you seem to do lately is chastised me for things I do or don't do?"
"Because you worry me", he said seriously. "Because ya don't take care of yourself like you should. You're stressing yourself out to the point of sickness and exhaustion, despite a lengthy vacation, because ya don't take time for yourself to relax"
"Ah don't have time," she said stubbornly, looking away. Remy however, was trying to make a point and he wasn't going to let it go, not anymore. He reached out and gentled turned her face so she was looking at him and she could see the mixture of concern and anger in his dark eyes.
"Den start making da time," he said sternly. "It's not as if ya can't girl, with me and da others around."
"Remy," she said warningly, not liking where this was going. "It's just the flu, your blowing this way out of proportion."
"This time it was da flu," he said "But next time, it could be a heart attack or an injury fighting because you won't stop even if you need too. Remy don't want come home, someday and find you at death's door because of your stubborn nature. I don't won't to lose you chere, ever and I'm real afraid that's what does gonna happen if you keep pushing yourself the way you are."
Rogue opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.
"No," he said, holding up a hand to silence her for a moment. "How many times since Remy's been back has he offered to watch Trey so you can do things for yourself, like shopping with Jean, or going to da movies with Jubilee and Storm or hell, even sitting down and watching da TV for a few hours? How many, huh?"
It was more then a few, she knew and he knew it as well. Remy watched as a guilty expression settled on her face and sighed inwardly, this wasn't what he wanted to do at the moment. Fighting with her, or at least arguing with her, when she was sick and unable to truly fight back was low, but he was so scared he was going to lose her that he was willing to look beyond it.
"A few." Rogue said reluctantly.
"More den few," he said "And every time ya said no and hurried off to train or work on your lesson plans or do some type of work at home," He looked at her for a moment then something dawned on him, completely out of the blue. He gaped at her, "Ya don't really trust me with Trey, do you?"
Rogue looked away again, feeling tears fill her eyes.
"Rogue!!"
She could hear the hurt and scandalized tone in his voice as she closed her eyes to stop the tears from flowing unsuccessfully. Her silence was her answer and she knew it cut him like a knife.
Remy laughed harshly after a moment. "And here Remy was thinkin, we'd gotten past this, with everything that had happened in da last few weeks. Especially since New Orleans." He shook his head, disbelievingly "I told you before, I'd never hurt him intentionally or you again, and you still don't really trust me, do you?'
"Ah'm sleeping with you aren't Ah?" she said, regretting the words the moment she said them.
"Merde, dat don't mean you trust me," he said "Dat just means's your human with human needs chere." He sighed, suddenly looking very old and tired to her as she appraised him.
"You don't know what it's like to be a single parent", she said quietly. "Ah've been on my own for three years, Remy, you can't expect me to change in a few weeks."
"No", he agreed, stroking her hand. "Remy don't, and he don't expect for all da trust to come back right away and as to being a parent, single or not why don't ya let me try cher, and see how I do before calling judgment on me?"
She nodded "Your right."
"Yes I am," he said as he rose. He kissed her hand and moved to leave her side for the moment. "Remy's gonna go and see if Jean's ready to bring Trey down to visit."
"Ahright," she said, wishing she could re-do the entire conversation they'd just had.
Remy moved to the door then turned back for a moment with a soft scowl. "Remy's said he had to realize trust needs to build slowly but you got something to realize Mon Coeur as well."
"What?" she said tiredly.
"Da term single parent no longer applies to you Rogue," He said seriously. "Remy's here, and we can fight and yell, all you want but he's not going anywhere, not if he can help it. Your alone anymore, dat's what you need to realize. Remy's here to stay, you can't scare me off, so let me help you; don't turn me away, especially when you need me. I love you Rogue, you and Trey are everything to me", he shrugged and moved to leave " As to dat trust, well Remy don't know when that'll come completely, he hopes soon, but he's definitely sticking around to wait and find out. You could put a bet on it honey, because it be easy money."
He smiled at her, "Remy'll go get da boy, I'll be back in a few minutes, just think 'bout what he said though while Remy's gone, because it all be true." He turned and left as Rogue sighed and curled farther into her blankets, suddenly feeling very old and tired herself.
Later that evening, long after midnight when the mansion was quiet and still, after Trey had left and Jean had ordered Remy back to their rooms, to get some much needed sleep, Rogue was alone with her thoughts, and the annoying beep of the heart monitor Jean had insisted she be hooked up too. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, giving up on trying to go to sleep as she shifted to her side. She felt terrible about the conversation she and Remy had, had. Even though he hadn't said anything while Trey had been there, she knew he was hurt and mad, and that bothered her to the extreme.
She held up the medallion she wore, like she had a month before and wondered if she even deserved to be wearing it after tonight. She felt her mind drift back to their conversation, as she immersed her herself in it like a warm bath. She hadn't meant what she'd implied; she did trust Remy with her life, her body and just about everything she had. It was just that she knew what he was like, what they both were like and what their relationship was like in the past, she didn't want Trey to get hurt because of the way they were, she was protecting him.
She felt a tear trickle down her cheek and hit the pillow, as she began to realize just how unfounded her fears were, if New Orleans had taught or showed her anything, it was that. She loved Remy with all her heart, yet still she found it hard to let go and wait to see what happened, especially when so much was on the line. She knew inwardly she had to though, if she wanted thing to work, for them to become a family, she just hoped she had the strength to do so when the time came.
Rogue had already let her heart and body fall for him totally, now she just had to have the strength to let herself put everything aside, every issue of the past and present, and trust him implicitly, one step at a time.
She closed her eyes, and leaned back against the pillows, feeling herself begin to drowse after all when all of a sudden she heard movement in the hallway, the soft steps of someone approaching her room. Her senses on alert, Rogue closed her eyes and waited to see who it was, Jean probably to check on her she figured.
Rogue opened her eyes, a fraction of an inch, and had to stop a quick intake of breath at the sight she saw.
Remy, auburn hair flying in every direction, dressed in a black robe, a white t-shirt and black silk boxers, had come into the room and was preparing to bed down in the chair beside her bed, looking sleep deprived and haggard as she had ever seen him. As she watched out of the corner of her eye he grabbed the spare blanket off of the end of the bed and wrapped it around himself, before settling his head down on the edge of the bed on his arms.
Rogue could have sworn she heard him mutter to the air "Much better.", as he did so, even though she knew he wasn't comfortable the way he was.
And despite their earlier argument, despite all her misgiving and the fact that she was sick, despite the fact she knew he'd been angry she reached out sleepily and lifted his chin on the tips of her fingers until he was looking at her in surprise… and then she shifted and made room for him beside her, or at least as much room as she could given the fact, the bed was a single hospital bed. Remy smiled, and gently slid up beside her, pulling her blankets tighter around her securely before resting his head lightly on her covered shoulder, and one arm across her stomach.
Rogue pulled the blanket over him with her free arm, yawning as she felt sleep begin to take her over, finally. "Much better", she murmured as she kissed the top of his head. "Much, Much, better." Remy murmured an agreement as he held her a bit tighter, and they drifted off to sleep.
Together.
Three days later, Rogue was sitting in bed in her room, (having moved there the day before), sorting through a mountain of pictures and papers while she had the time, when Remy came in. " Hey chere", he said as he tossed himself down beside her. "What'cha doing?"
Rogue smiled at him, glad he was finally speaking to her without the icy tone that held been in his voice ever since the day they had argued. "Just going through these things," she looked down. "Now that Ah have the time, looks like Am gonna have lot of it too Sugah."
"Remy saw Xavier leaving as he," he said as he made himself comfortable beside her. "He and Scott put you on medical leave huh?"
"Until further notice," she said dully, watching as a tear dropped from, her cheek to the new black comforter. She'd just put on the bed. "He gave me a lecture, on taking care of my self, being responsible, not letting the team down." She'd felt terrible, of all the people, getting a lecture from the Professor, a man she considered a second father, made her feel like a naughty teenager again and it made her realize just how reckless she'd become with her health and her life.
"Hey," Remy said, slipping an arm around her as the tears began to fall. "It's alright chere; you just have to start again, that's all." He looked at the pictures scattered around the bed. "Now, what exactly are, des pictures of?"
"Mostly Trey", she admitted sheepishly as she wiped her cheeks, dry. "Ah went a bit camera crazy when he was born, and just about every day after for the first year." She smiled, and he wondered if she knew how hard it was for him to understand her because she was stuffed up. "Ah never got a chance to put them in albums because Ah was so busy, now Ah do."
She got an inspired look on her face, and sorted rapidly through the pictures until she came up with one and handed it to him. "This was Trey's first picture," she said as she watched a delighted expression cross his face, "Scott took it when he was about five minutes old."
Remy looked at the pictures of Trey in Rogue's arms, hardly believing such a hardy active little boy could ever have been that small and vulnerable. His head would have fit easily into Remy's hands, and the rest of him wasn't much bigger. He was perfect, wrapped in a tiny green blanket, clearly awake and crying at his rude entry into the world. Remy's eyes flashed to Rogue in the picture, finding her smiling, exhausted but triumphant as she lay back against the pillows. She looked pale and weak, obviously tired after the ordeal of giving birth but it was her eyes that bothered him.
Although she was smiling her eyes were sad, mournful almost as she gazed into the camera, haunted by a sadness that wouldn't leave her for any reason. He knew he was partly the reason for that sadness; his absence would have been noticed more on that day then any other. As he began to sort through the photos, he noticed Rogues' eyes were the same in all of them, sad and drawn, despite what ever she was doing. Holding Trey, playing with him, or giving him a bath, the sadness was always there, something he'd regret for the rest of his life.
Remy finished looking at the stack of photo's and reached for another. He pulled one out; amused when he saw it was of Rogue when she was pregnant. 'Those are all of when Ah was pregnant," she informed him as he held up the photo. He grinned as he looked at the pictures of her, in one she looked like she'd swallowed a watermelon whole, her belly was that big. She was making a face at the camera, clearly a candid shot she didn't like as she lounged by the pool that was behind the mansion. Another was of her lounging on the couch with a bowl of popcorn nestled on her stomach, while yet another was of her laughing, her arms wrapped around her stomach as if to protect the child within from some lame joke that had to be coming from Logan.
"This one's my favorite", she said taking one out of the stack and handing it to him. It was Rogue, dressed in a white off the shoulder toga and stola, clearly a Halloween costume if he'd ever seen one. Her hair was wound up on her head, and held back with a set of gold ivy leaves, and she was smiling as she handed out candy to a small child dressed as a superhero. She looked stunningly Roman and beautiful to him as he perused the photo.
"Why is it your favorite?" he asked as he looked up at her from under his hair.
Rogue laughed, and then coughed into her closed fist. "It's my favorite, Sugah, because, not five minutes after that photo was taken, my water broke and Ah went to labor."
"Really?" he said with a laugh.
"Uh huh." she said "It was the day before Halloween; we were having a fun day for the kids, so all the teachers dressed up. Since Ah tech Ancient history and we were studying Rome at the time, Ah went as a Roman. It didn't help that was the only costume Ah looked half decent in." the last part was muttered, but Remy heard it and laughed none the less. "Anyways, we were having a trick or treat in the mansion for the younger kids, and Ah was handing out candy at the door of my classroom, like everyone else was. Jubilee snapped that picture when Ah wasn't looking; in fact she took most of these and gave them to me later. She had barely stepped around the corner with her group of kids from the daycare, and Ah had barely stepped inside when my water broke."
She grinned at the memory. "Jean heard me hollering, and came running, and helped me to the Med Lab just as my real contractions started, 26 hours later Trey showed up, howling to beat the band."
He reached out and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face with a gloved hand. "God, Rogue," he said, surprised to hear he himself choked up. "Remy's sorry he wasn't hear, to be with you, to help you."
She smiled sadly. "It's alright Cajun, you couldn't have known, and at the time Ah was pretty knarly to be around."
Remy smiled as he looked at the photos again, not surprised to see the sadness in her eyes was there as well.
He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that sadness never returned to her again, if it killed him the process, he promised himself that at that moment and it was a promise he'd never let down, not again, not for her.
Rogue leaned against him, as she began to fit photos into one of the albums and he wrapped his arms around her. " So,", he said as he looked down at her with a Rajun Cajun grin. "Have you ever thought of giving Trey a brother or sister,? cause Remy's up for the challenge if you are."
Rogue's response was to gasp and clap a hand over her mouth, with one hand while pushing him away with the other, as she made a mad berserker beeline, off the bed and for the bathroom, slamming the door behind her as she went. Remy winced as he heard her losing her lunch, and from the sound of it, every lunch and meal she'd eaten in the last year. " Remy takes dat as a no?", he said as he went over to the closed door and knocked lightly. After a moment, he got no response, so he knocked again harder. " Ya alright?", he said, feeling déjà vu from the day before, all over gain.
" Ah'm okay", Rogue said as she emerged. "Just Ah little queasy, is all"
" Well," Remy said as he helped her back to bed. " Ah've had women react strongly to a come on, but dat had to be the strongest reaction Remy'd ever had thrown at him.", He raised an eyebrow at her and smiled rakishly . " If Remy says the word Commitment, you ain't gonna go Linda Blair on him are you, cause ah don't think even my stomach can handle pea soup all over da place."
Rogue's response was to whip a pillow at his head, which he promptly caught and whipped back at her. "Guess not," he said as he approached the bed. "Dat a good sign or a bad one?"
Rogue winced with a tired smile as she settled back into bed. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts."
"Sorry", he said as he lay down beside her and absently began massaging her stomach through the blanket.
"Remy," she said gently, after a moment as she covered his hand with hers. "Is that what you thought yesterday when you heard Ah was sick, that Ah was pregnant?"
Remy looked down, looking for all his age as vulnerable as Trey, until she reached out and tipped his chin towards her. "Maybe," he said softly.
" Oh, Honey,", she said sympathetically " If Ah was Ah would have told you right away, Ah wouldn't have let something like that go again." She smiled and stroked his cheek as he turned his face into her palm.
"It's just Remy missed everything with Trey", he said "I thought maybe I was getting the chance to make up for it.", he looked at her sideways. "To build up our trust again."
"Remy," she said, wishing he hadn't brought the touchy subject up again. "Ah trust you, Ah trust with my life and Ah trust you with Trey."
He smiled sadly clearly not believing her but more then willing to listen to her as she said it. "It's alright", he said not letting her see how much it bothered him. He motioned to her empty juice glass. "You're out," he said indicating with his hand. "Remy'll go and get you some more."
Before she could speak, he'd kissed her temple and after grabbing the glass from the night stand, fled the room as she flopped back down against her pillows, wondering when her life had gotten so complicated and how she could fix the mess she was in.
Down stairs, Scott was making lunch for himself and Jean while she fed Livvy and Nate when Remy came in, heading straight for the fridge and the orange juice it held. "Hey", Jean said by way of greet as she rapidly spooned baby food into Livvy's mouth before the child had the time or energy to realize she could spit it back out again. "How's Rogue feeling?"
"Better", he said dully as he set the glass on the counter and poured juice into it. "She's slowly getting back to her old self."
Jean nodded and grinned at the baby as she wiped her face with her bib. "I'll check in on her later, how Trey is doing, he's not picked up any of the symptoms has he?"
"No" Remy said "He's with Jubilee, seems fine, although I can tell he's worried about his mother."
Jean nodded again and cocked her head at him. "Is something wrong?"
Remy winced and then sighed, needing to get it off of his chest, knowing Rogue wouldn't mind if it was Jean and Scott he talked too. "It's just", he said, leaning against the counter. "Remy and de Belle Petite, are having a minor disagreement."
"About what?" Scott asked, nudging Nate's sandwich towards him with a raised eyebrow from under his glasses.
"She don't trust me none," he said bluntly. "At least not with da boy, and definitely not to not break her heart again." He shook his head frustrated, as he sighed. "Remy don't get it, Red, she just won't give it up, despite everything we've done, all the progress we've made since I got back that fear is still there."
"And it may always be to some degree", Jean said honestly.
"Oh thanks," Remy said bitterly "That helps."
"Remy", Jean said, motioning for him to have a seat. "Let me tell you something, okay?"
"Alright". He said sitting down beside Scott and smiling at Livvy.
"When you left", she said, "Rogue, just stopped. It was like something shut off inside of her or died something, she was fully prepared to never have again. She just shut herself off from everybody, she lost weight, became pale and sickly." Jean sighed, wondering if she was the one who should be telling him this. "She cried herself to sleep every night; Scott and I could hear her from down the hall so she didn't get any sleep ether."
"Why didn't you do something?" he asked.
"We did." Scott put in as he took a bite of his tuna sandwich. "Everyone did, Jean, me, Jubilee, Wolverine even the Professor but she wouldn't listen."
"She stopped eating", Jean said "She didn't exercise right, she didn't socialize anymore. She almost let herself die, Remy, if it hadn't been for Trey, I think she would have, it was devastating for her." She sighed "I could show you pictures of then, she's so thin and wraith like, it's scary."
"Remy's seen them," he said quietly "This morning in fact."
"What happened with Trey?" he asked, letting everything sink in. The Rogue he'd known would never have been like that, it was a shock to hear she could be that despondent.
"She almost lost him." Scott said "She collapsed at a staff meeting, if the Med lab hadn't been so close she could have died, both of them could have. Jean was barely able to stop the bleeding but she did, everything changed after that."
"It seemed to snap her out of it.", Jean finished" She started eating, taking better care of herself," She shook her head. "Not personal offense, but I can understand why she'd be leering of trusting all over again, she's protecting herself from having to go through that again." She smiled. "She loves you Remy, you just have to give her the time she needs to show it."
Remy nodded. "Remy knows, it just ain't easy that's all."
"It never is", Jean said "Love wouldn't be worth it if it was."
She rose gracefully, lifting the now drowsy baby out of her highchair and setting her against her shoulder as she kissed Scott on the top of his head, then Nate, and left the room without a word.
Remy looked at Scott, envious of his team leader for the moment. "Like Remy said once before, you're a lucky man summers."
"I know it.", Scott said as he washed Nate's face. "But so are you."
"Yeah.", Remy said as he moved to return to his rooms. "Remy knows, he just wishes he knew Rogue felt the same."
Later that evening, Rogue sat up in bed, sorting through the last of her papers, her mood considerable better then it had been earlier as she'd finally come up with an idea of how she could prove her trust in Remy. It was going to be nerve racking, but she knew it was something she'd have to get used too if things were going to work out.
She leaned back against her pillows with a sigh, Trey was in the living room watching cartoons, and she'd threatened and bullied Remy into going to play poker with Cyclops, Sam and Logan and a few others. Remy'd protested and sputtered right up until the moment she'd sent him out the door, not letting on just how lousy she felt or how much her chest hurt when she coughed.
Rogue coughed into her hand, deciding what she needed was a cup of coffee, and rose to get it, gripping the bed post as a wave of dizziness over came her. She reached out to steady herself, (wondering when she'd gotten so bad, considering she'd felt better earlier, then the day before) as she moved down the hall towards the living room. She sucked in a breath, wincing as fire spread through her chest. Alarm bells began to ring in her head as she wheezed out another breath, something wasn't right, she'd had no trouble breathing when she'd had the flu before.
She pulled her robe tighter around herself as she entered the living room, smiling weakly as she saw Trey was playing at the coffee table. "Hey baby," she said as she moved slowly to the couch. "What'cha doing?"
"Playing.", he said, as if it was a stupid question. He looked at her questioningly and for the first time she noticed he was playing with a deck of cards. "Did you know a full house is better then a straight flush?"
Rogue winced, giving up, the child was going to be card shark just like his daddy, and it was becoming more and more apparent. She grimaced as she tried to breathe again, and was cut off by a coughing fit that nearly killed her with a raw blazing pain. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, as Trey watched, clearly worried, and tried to bring it under control. She felt tears spring to her eyes as the pain worsened, and this time didn't receded like it had before. As the coughing stopped and she pulled her hand away from her mouth, she was shocked to see a small reddish streak of blood on her hand. She started at it in alarm, having trouble catching her breath as she spoke and tried to stay calm. "Trey", she said breathlessly as she sunk back onto the couch. "Papa's down stairs in the big media room, by the daycare, can you go and get him for me, Sugah? Tell him Mama needs him right away, okay?"
Trey looked at her bewildered at her obviously hurried request then turned and bolted from the room. Rogue heard the front door open and close as her vision began to swim, and she struggled to take a normal breath. "Jean", she thought frantically, panicking, as she struggled to breathe hoping Jean or the Professor would pick up on her thoughts. "Ah need your help!!!"
Downstairs, despite the fact he was only half paying attention, Remy was rapidly cleaning out Scott, Jubilee, Kitty, and Sam while contemplating how he could take down the Wolverine (Who was almost as good a poker player as he was, almost). He glanced at his cards, suppressing a smile that would have ruined his game, saw he had a very good hand, and tossed a few more chips in the pot without a word as he saw Scott's bet and raised it.
"Ah'm out", Sam said with a sigh as he tossed his cards down and leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his beer.
"So am I", Jubilee said with a sigh as she tossed the cards on the table.
Logan smiled around his cigar, a smile that sent a shiver up Remy's back, and left him wondering what he was holding for cards, and tossed the required chips into the pot. "I'll see that and raise you a hundred." he said calmly.
Remy raised an eyebrow, and was about to call him on his cards when Scott nudged him with an elbow, and motioned him to look over his shoulder towards the media room doorway. He turned in his seat, surprised to find Trey standing in the doorway in his pajamas, looking around nervously. Remy frowned at his son, knowing he should have been asleep by now and instantly wondered what was wrong. "Trey, what's the matter?" he said as Trey bolted to his father's side. "Does your mama know you're down here?"
"Uh huh" Trey said as the others watched, clearly scared and out of breath. "She sent me to get you; she says she needs you right away."
Remy jumped up, his cards instantly forgotten as he registered the panicked tone in his son's voice and knew something was really wrong. He headed for the door then turned back to his son, as the others looked on. "Stay here," he told Trey settling him in his seat and kissed the top of his head. "Papa will be back soon. Watch him", he said to Scott, who nodded at Remy's retreating back. "And for god's sakes, Logan, don't teach him to bet, Rogue'll have my ass on a platter!"
He ran down the corridor and up the stairs, not surprised at all to meet Jean half way and they took the steps two at a time as they hurried up to the apartments on the second level. Silently they went down the hallway until they reached the apartment then Remy burst ahead and inside head of Jean. Remy bolted for the living room as Jean came in, finding Rogue crumpled beside the couch and tossing an anguished look at Jean as he dropped down beside her and felt for a pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief as he found one, thin and thready but stable. As if on cue Rogue moaned, low and weak, but it was a sign she was alive and it was all Remy could have asked for.
"Her colorings not good", Jean said as she moved beside him (The blue tint to Rogue's lips worrying her more then anything else) and brushed a gloved hand over Rogue's brow. "And she's burning up!" She opened her mouth to say they needed to get her to the lab but Remy had already lifted her carefully into his arms and was heading for the door. Jean followed quickly, anxious to figure out what was wrong with her friend.
An hour later Remy stood with Scott and Kitty, numbly waiting to find out what was going on inside the Med Lab with his Cherie. Jean had asked him to wait outside while she and beast worked on her. He didn't think he'd ever get over seeing her lying there so pale and lifeless, not like when she'd fainted before, but deadly still and hot, because of the extremely high fever she was running. He didn't want to think what could be happening to her in that room, it scared him so much, and it was over powering.
Seeing the anguish that his friend was going through, Scott clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. "She'll be fine," he said confidently. "Jean and Hank know what their doing, if they can help her then they'll do so to the best of their abilities." Remy nodded but Scott knew it was like the preverbal teardrop in the ocean for all Remy was hearing him.
The door to the exam room opened and Jean came hurrying out, dressing her scrubs and a lab coat, she looked tired and defeated and for a moment Remy feared the worst. She approached them stoically as she pulled off her gloves and disposed of them.
"Well" Remy said his heart in his throat. "What happened? Come on, Red, help me out here"
"Pneumonia happened", Jean said "The influenza turned into Viral Pneumonia and a wicked case at that. The worst I've ever seen, it started to shut her lungs down, that's why she collapsed like she did, and that's the reason for the high fever."
"Is that common?" Remy asked hoarsely. "For the flu to turn to this?"
"More then you'd think?" Jean said "Especially when the body it's invading is over stressed and over worked like Rogue's is."
"Is she going to be okay?" Scott asked before Remy could.
"Hank and I think so", Jean said "But it's hard to say, we sedated her to help her breath easier, and started antibiotics, we've got her on oxygen as well. It's the fever that's worrisome, it's still rising, and that could present a problem. ", Jean smiled at Remy. " If she can get through tonight alright, then she should be fin though."
"Couldn't you get Logan to transfer some of his healing energy?" Scott asked,
"He's sick too." Jean said " It wouldn't do a lick of good."
"Can I see her?' He asked, feeling déjà vu all over again, he'd been spending far too much time in the mansions medical lab in the last few days as far as he was concerned.
Jean nodded as she took her lab coat off. "Go ahead."
Remy turned and hurried inside; alarmed to see Rogue wearing an oxygen mask but knowing it was helping her bring her oxygen levels back up. He settled down besides her, feeling the heat coming from her body, and took her gloved hand in his. "You know." he said to her inert form. "You've gotta stop doing this girl, your gonna make Remy old before his time."
He got no response and he hadn't expected too, the only sound in the room was the hiss of the oxygen tank and the rasp of her steady breathing, something that to him sounded as good as the best New Orleans's jazz on a hot summer day.
Remy wasn't aware of when he drifted off, only when he awoke to Storm settling a blanket around him. "How's she doing?" he asked sitting forward with a yawn.
"Better", Strom said "She's breathing easier."
"Good.", he said as he scratched the back of his neck.
"How are you holding up?" Strom asked quietly.
"Been better", he said brokenly as he looked at the women he loved in the hospital bed. "Remy's just worried is all."
"Of course." Storm said.
"God knows." he said "Remy'd breath for her if he could."
"I know", Strom said comfortingly "And she does too."
He nodded "It's just; I can't picture my life without her. You know, Remy can protect her from Sentinels, and Magneto and anti-mutent groupies. I can watch her back in training and when we fight but I can't protect her from this, something in her own body and it's scaring the hell out of me that I can't Stormy."
Storm nodded, "I know Remy but she's a fighter in herself, she'll pull through, you just have to wait and see."
With that she turned and left the room, leaving Remy alone again with his thought. He hated the fact he felt so helpless to help her, it was tearing him up inside and yet he knew there was nothing he could do but wait and hope she was okay.
She would be okay; he refused to believe anything else.
Because he didn't think he could survive without her if she wasn't.
To be continued…