The next morning, Main Street was busy and swarming with people, more
so than usual. In an alley branching off, the lid to a trashcan lifted
slightly, and through it, the bleary eyes of Billy stared. He jumped up,
tossing the lid noisily to the side. He yawned, stretching arms and wings,
and peered over the top. He watched the crowd. As he became more awake, he
realized that the crowd wasn't moving at all. In fact, it seemed to be
forming a line.
"Hey, Kid," he said. No response. He banged the trashcan next to him with his fist. "Kid! Wake up!" The lid popped up, and Kid stared at him unhappily.
"Mm... what do you want?" he mumbled.
Billy pointed. "I wonder what's going on," he said.
Kid rubbed his eyes and leapt out of his can. "Let's go check it out," he said.
"Hey, keep it down over there!" cried a voice, definitely a koopa's, from the dumpster.
Billy and Kid hurried into the crowd. They tried squeezing through, but it was no use. They began asking everyone what was going on. Most people just ignored them, and some shooed them away. Finally, they asked a little girl, holding on to her mother's hand.
"Dubbadaf!" she said. "The dubbadaf is here!"
Suddenly, her mother picked her up, and whispered fiercely, "Don't talk to those things, honey!"
Billy turned to his brother. "The Double Dash?" he said.
"I didn't think it was for another month," said Kid.
"It isn't," said Billy. "This must be a practice match. You know how they sometimes do time trials or one-on-one matches to warm up for the tournament."
"Well, let's go check it out!" said Kid.
"How? We've barely got any money, and judging from this crowd, it's gonna be sold out."
"Hmm." Kid looked around. Suddenly, he saw a truck rumble by, marked Official Mushroom Kart Item Supplies. "C'mon," he said.
Kid and Billy squeezed through the crowd and chased after the truck. They grabbed onto the back, crawled in, and settled among the shells.
Their plan worked. They made it through a back entrance, and before the truck came to a stop, they jumped out and scurried away, towards the stands.
They made it to a pit stop, where they hid behind equipment, and there they watched everything.
The pit crew had finished preparing the first kart. Its two drivers, Toad and Toadette, hopped on and drove off to the finish line, where they were greeted by enthusiastic cheers from the crowd. Moments later, the second contestant arrived and parked right next to them. It was a huge cart, bristling with spikes and bolts, and painted green and gold so that it looked like Bowser. In the driver's position sat Bowser himself, and in the back, holding onto the bar, was his son.
The crowd booed, but Bowser ignored them, and instead turned to them and flexed his muscles, bared his teeth, and waggled his spiky tail. They grew more agitated at this, standing up and beginning to throw food at him.
Finally, a Lakitu came out, wearing a headset and gloves and wielding a stoplight. He hovered before the two contestants in his cloud, and the stoplight began to count down. Three... two... one...
Go! The two karts took off, bursting with speed. They hit an acceleration bar, and both went flying over a ramp and hit the pavement. They rounded a bend, and were lost from sight.
"I can't see them," Kid wailed.
Billy pointed to the mega screen. There, they could see the back of Bowser's kart. Bowser Junior could be seen, holding a green shell. They were on Toad's tail.
Bowser Junior had a clear shot, and he threw the shell, but it just grazed the side of Toad's kart. Bowser was furious. He tossed another shell to his son, and again Bowser Junior tossed it; again, it missed.
Another set of items blocks were approaching, near a turn. Bowser Junior leaned, sending the kart skidding in a sharp turn, into a double- block. Bowser had a new set of items. The crowd gasped when they were revealed. Bowser Junior had a banana, and Bowser had a Bowser shell.
Bowser Junior quickly dropped his item, and Bowser beckoned for them to switch. Bowser Junior hopped into the driver's seat and Bowser crawled into the back. He waited until they came to a straight way. When it came, and he saw Toad's kart directly ahead, he unleashed the giant spiked shell.
An explosion thundered nearby. Kid and Billy looked down, and saw that Toad's kart was right in front of the pit stop when it was hit. The kart flipped thrice, and when it recovered, Bowser zipped by. At the one moment they were adjacent, Bowser lunged and snapped, sending Toad's kart into another spiral. Toadette's grip was still shaky from the last hit. She was flung into a tree, and fell limp. Toad looked at his fallen teammate, taking his eyes off the road, ran into a wall, flipped a final time, fell from the driver's seat, and lay helplessly as the kart rolled over him.
Bowser passed the finish line the final time. He turned to the crowd, laughing and holding up his arms. They paid little attention to him. Every eye in the stands was on the fallen kart, as its passengers were put in ambulances and its totaled hull was dragged away for scrap metal.
"Wow," Billy croaked, his throat dry. Kid said nothing, just stared, his jaw gaping.
At that moment, one of the pit crew noticed them. "Hey, get out of here, you cheap little parasites!" he shouted, chasing them out into the street.
Billy and Kid walked silently. The streets were empty once again, for everyone who could go was in the stadium. But Kid had a thought.
"Hey, Billy," he said. "What if we did that? What if we signed up for that tournament?"
Billy stared at his brother. "You're kidding, right?" he said.
Kid shook his head, smiling. "The reward money for that thing is ridiculously high! We'd be able to pay off our debt, and find a decent place to live! And think of all the glory, and the fame, and... and..."
"Whoa, Kid, slow down and think about what you're saying," said Billy. "This is one of the most dangerous and aggressive sports around. Besides, I doubt there's even a spot open."
Kid pointed to the ambulance as it sped away. "Did you see what happened to that kart? Even if those two live, they're not racing again. We can get in! C'mon, Billy! What do we have to lose?"
Billy sighed. "Nothing, I guess," he said. Then he laughed. "This is really a stupid idea, you know. But it's worth a shot."
* * *
Billy and Kid weaved their way through the crowded streets to the Mushroom Kart Headquarters building, in the middle of town. The two tiny koopas stared in awe at the towering building, before the inevitable push from an aggravated pedestrian. They hurried into the building.
They scurried up to the front desk. "Ahem," said Billy.
The receptionist peered over her desk, and for several moments, couldn't see the two koopas. "Why, hello there," she said, after finally catching sight of them. "How may I help you?"
"Where do we go to sign up for the Double Dash Tournament?" Kid said.
The receptionist stared. Then she collapsed on her desk, laughing. When she recovered, she saw that the two koopas were serious. She pointed down the hall. "Third door on the right," she said.
* * *
"So you guys are really serious about this, huh?" said the Lakitu at the desk.
"Yes, sir," said Billy.
The Lakitu leaned forward. "Today's your lucky day," he said. "One of our karts is no longer able to compete, so there's a spot currently open."
"Yes, we know," said Billy, solemnly.
The Lakitu coughed. "But, ah, you are aware of the price?" he said. "It's 450 coins to enter."
"What?" Kid cried, jumping up. "We thought it was 160 coins!"
"That's for the 50cc tournament," the Lakitu explained. "This one's 150cc, and the prices for beginners are always higher than normal."
Billy and Kid looked at each other.
"Now, if you can't afford the full price," the Lakitu continued, "there are some features that you can eliminate. Would you like to see the price sheet?"
Both koopas nodded, and the Lakitu handed a sheet of paper to Billy. It read:
Kart Racing Price Sheet: Check all that apply
_ Entry Fee (required): 70 coins _ Pre-Tournament Training: 60 coins _ Custom Kart: 110 coins _ Kart Klub Membership: 80 coins _ Pit Crew: 40 coins _ Kart Insurance (recommended): 90 coins
Billy checked off the first two and handed it back. The Lakitu then gave him a fifty-page contract, full of barely legible text, concerning liability, legal issues, advertisements, public exposure...
"Sign here, both of you," the Lakitu said. "And here. And here. And here. Initial here. Sign here..."
By the time he was finished, Billy felt as if he had handwritten a novel. The Lakitu put the paperwork away, and offered his hand. "Welcome aboard," he said. "Best of luck to the both of you."
"Hey, Kid," he said. No response. He banged the trashcan next to him with his fist. "Kid! Wake up!" The lid popped up, and Kid stared at him unhappily.
"Mm... what do you want?" he mumbled.
Billy pointed. "I wonder what's going on," he said.
Kid rubbed his eyes and leapt out of his can. "Let's go check it out," he said.
"Hey, keep it down over there!" cried a voice, definitely a koopa's, from the dumpster.
Billy and Kid hurried into the crowd. They tried squeezing through, but it was no use. They began asking everyone what was going on. Most people just ignored them, and some shooed them away. Finally, they asked a little girl, holding on to her mother's hand.
"Dubbadaf!" she said. "The dubbadaf is here!"
Suddenly, her mother picked her up, and whispered fiercely, "Don't talk to those things, honey!"
Billy turned to his brother. "The Double Dash?" he said.
"I didn't think it was for another month," said Kid.
"It isn't," said Billy. "This must be a practice match. You know how they sometimes do time trials or one-on-one matches to warm up for the tournament."
"Well, let's go check it out!" said Kid.
"How? We've barely got any money, and judging from this crowd, it's gonna be sold out."
"Hmm." Kid looked around. Suddenly, he saw a truck rumble by, marked Official Mushroom Kart Item Supplies. "C'mon," he said.
Kid and Billy squeezed through the crowd and chased after the truck. They grabbed onto the back, crawled in, and settled among the shells.
Their plan worked. They made it through a back entrance, and before the truck came to a stop, they jumped out and scurried away, towards the stands.
They made it to a pit stop, where they hid behind equipment, and there they watched everything.
The pit crew had finished preparing the first kart. Its two drivers, Toad and Toadette, hopped on and drove off to the finish line, where they were greeted by enthusiastic cheers from the crowd. Moments later, the second contestant arrived and parked right next to them. It was a huge cart, bristling with spikes and bolts, and painted green and gold so that it looked like Bowser. In the driver's position sat Bowser himself, and in the back, holding onto the bar, was his son.
The crowd booed, but Bowser ignored them, and instead turned to them and flexed his muscles, bared his teeth, and waggled his spiky tail. They grew more agitated at this, standing up and beginning to throw food at him.
Finally, a Lakitu came out, wearing a headset and gloves and wielding a stoplight. He hovered before the two contestants in his cloud, and the stoplight began to count down. Three... two... one...
Go! The two karts took off, bursting with speed. They hit an acceleration bar, and both went flying over a ramp and hit the pavement. They rounded a bend, and were lost from sight.
"I can't see them," Kid wailed.
Billy pointed to the mega screen. There, they could see the back of Bowser's kart. Bowser Junior could be seen, holding a green shell. They were on Toad's tail.
Bowser Junior had a clear shot, and he threw the shell, but it just grazed the side of Toad's kart. Bowser was furious. He tossed another shell to his son, and again Bowser Junior tossed it; again, it missed.
Another set of items blocks were approaching, near a turn. Bowser Junior leaned, sending the kart skidding in a sharp turn, into a double- block. Bowser had a new set of items. The crowd gasped when they were revealed. Bowser Junior had a banana, and Bowser had a Bowser shell.
Bowser Junior quickly dropped his item, and Bowser beckoned for them to switch. Bowser Junior hopped into the driver's seat and Bowser crawled into the back. He waited until they came to a straight way. When it came, and he saw Toad's kart directly ahead, he unleashed the giant spiked shell.
An explosion thundered nearby. Kid and Billy looked down, and saw that Toad's kart was right in front of the pit stop when it was hit. The kart flipped thrice, and when it recovered, Bowser zipped by. At the one moment they were adjacent, Bowser lunged and snapped, sending Toad's kart into another spiral. Toadette's grip was still shaky from the last hit. She was flung into a tree, and fell limp. Toad looked at his fallen teammate, taking his eyes off the road, ran into a wall, flipped a final time, fell from the driver's seat, and lay helplessly as the kart rolled over him.
Bowser passed the finish line the final time. He turned to the crowd, laughing and holding up his arms. They paid little attention to him. Every eye in the stands was on the fallen kart, as its passengers were put in ambulances and its totaled hull was dragged away for scrap metal.
"Wow," Billy croaked, his throat dry. Kid said nothing, just stared, his jaw gaping.
At that moment, one of the pit crew noticed them. "Hey, get out of here, you cheap little parasites!" he shouted, chasing them out into the street.
Billy and Kid walked silently. The streets were empty once again, for everyone who could go was in the stadium. But Kid had a thought.
"Hey, Billy," he said. "What if we did that? What if we signed up for that tournament?"
Billy stared at his brother. "You're kidding, right?" he said.
Kid shook his head, smiling. "The reward money for that thing is ridiculously high! We'd be able to pay off our debt, and find a decent place to live! And think of all the glory, and the fame, and... and..."
"Whoa, Kid, slow down and think about what you're saying," said Billy. "This is one of the most dangerous and aggressive sports around. Besides, I doubt there's even a spot open."
Kid pointed to the ambulance as it sped away. "Did you see what happened to that kart? Even if those two live, they're not racing again. We can get in! C'mon, Billy! What do we have to lose?"
Billy sighed. "Nothing, I guess," he said. Then he laughed. "This is really a stupid idea, you know. But it's worth a shot."
* * *
Billy and Kid weaved their way through the crowded streets to the Mushroom Kart Headquarters building, in the middle of town. The two tiny koopas stared in awe at the towering building, before the inevitable push from an aggravated pedestrian. They hurried into the building.
They scurried up to the front desk. "Ahem," said Billy.
The receptionist peered over her desk, and for several moments, couldn't see the two koopas. "Why, hello there," she said, after finally catching sight of them. "How may I help you?"
"Where do we go to sign up for the Double Dash Tournament?" Kid said.
The receptionist stared. Then she collapsed on her desk, laughing. When she recovered, she saw that the two koopas were serious. She pointed down the hall. "Third door on the right," she said.
* * *
"So you guys are really serious about this, huh?" said the Lakitu at the desk.
"Yes, sir," said Billy.
The Lakitu leaned forward. "Today's your lucky day," he said. "One of our karts is no longer able to compete, so there's a spot currently open."
"Yes, we know," said Billy, solemnly.
The Lakitu coughed. "But, ah, you are aware of the price?" he said. "It's 450 coins to enter."
"What?" Kid cried, jumping up. "We thought it was 160 coins!"
"That's for the 50cc tournament," the Lakitu explained. "This one's 150cc, and the prices for beginners are always higher than normal."
Billy and Kid looked at each other.
"Now, if you can't afford the full price," the Lakitu continued, "there are some features that you can eliminate. Would you like to see the price sheet?"
Both koopas nodded, and the Lakitu handed a sheet of paper to Billy. It read:
Kart Racing Price Sheet: Check all that apply
_ Entry Fee (required): 70 coins _ Pre-Tournament Training: 60 coins _ Custom Kart: 110 coins _ Kart Klub Membership: 80 coins _ Pit Crew: 40 coins _ Kart Insurance (recommended): 90 coins
Billy checked off the first two and handed it back. The Lakitu then gave him a fifty-page contract, full of barely legible text, concerning liability, legal issues, advertisements, public exposure...
"Sign here, both of you," the Lakitu said. "And here. And here. And here. Initial here. Sign here..."
By the time he was finished, Billy felt as if he had handwritten a novel. The Lakitu put the paperwork away, and offered his hand. "Welcome aboard," he said. "Best of luck to the both of you."