One Young Heart

Chapter 24: A Walk in the Woods

Harry struggled to keep up with Snape's long strides without tripping over Ron, who was still being dragged by his teacher. So, Dumbledore ordered you to bring us back, right? Snape snorted, but limited his response to a blunt Harry looked up at him, surprised, he seemed sincere enough, or at least as sincere as he ever appeared. Why did you rescue us, then? Snape stopped so suddenly that Ron continued forward and fell with a thud to the forest floor, then staggered upright, finally seeming to wake up a bit. Stalking forward until he stood well inside of Harry's comfort zone, he bent low until the boy was staring directly into ice cold, black eyes. The sensation of depth sickened him for a moment, and he was overcome with a sudden feeling of despair. I saved you out of the kindness of my heart, Potter, when everyone was all for leaving you there. So, perhaps I might now be allowed a little freedom from imbecile teenagers and their foolish questions? His lip curled in unmistakable disdain. Good. Now, let's go.

Moments later, though it felt like an eternity to Harry, they arrived at a door standing completely alone in the forest. It was covered in dirt, and a vine was beginning to climb up the side of the frame, a testament to how long it had been standing there. Snape ripped a key from a chain around his neck , and used it to open the door. Harry gasped. Through the door, he could see the familiar turrets of Hogwarts school. Ron didn't speak, just stared at the school with longing in his eyes. Harry tore his eyes away from the door, to ask Snape, Why is this here? Surely it would be easier for you to just apparate near the school, and walk back? Snape looked down at him with narrowed eyes. You surprise me, Potter. Just two years, and you don't recall how difficult it is to walk after receiving the cruciatus curse? Your mind must be worse than I thought. Now get in there. Beside him, Ron whispered softly, It's so...beautiful. So peaceful, so incredibly fragile.

A loud crash sounded through the trees as Harry helped Ron through the door. What's that? he whispered to Snape, who still stood outside the door frame, wand ready. My alibi, Potter. I have to account for my absence somehow. So, I let a few people see Thomas here drag you off, and now I shall kill him. Its a damned waste of a good man, but I suppose you are too self-centered to care. I should run to the castle if I were you. My Lord will probably send Eaters after you, and I doubt Weasly here is equal to the task of beating them off.

The last thing Harry saw before he shut the door and ran for the castle was Snape, being struck by the Death Eater's spell, and falling to his knees.

---

The school fell silent as Harry and Ron ran headlong into the great hall. Looking up into Dumbledore's face as he rose, Harry realized that Snape had indeed been telling them the truth. The Headmaster had not arranged for their rescue. The pain from that realization lasted all through the tidal wave of joy that followed him for the next few hours, past Professor McGonagall, past Cho Chang and Luna Lovegood, and past the shining eyes of Hermione, who for some reason kept shouting I knew it! I knew he'd do it!, all the way into the infirmary, two soft beds, and two steaming goblets of melted chocolate.

---

Snape allowed the first blow to strike him in the waist. The impediment charm slowed his reaction, but not for nothing had the Snapes been master duelers for centuries. His own spell caught Thomas on the arm. Why are you doing this, Severus? The man panted after he had finished spinning around. Well, I've been thinking it over, and I've decided mine is an empty life, so I decided to end it in a suitably dramatic fashion, he observed. For all the sarcasm in his voice, his words were close enough to the truth that Thomas paused and looked at him. I was joking, Thomas. I came to that conclusion years ago, and look how little good its done me, he snapped, spreading his arms in an expansive gesture, and trying not to remember that day, all those years ago.

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A single man, standing all alone on a ledge, staring down into the darkness, so ready to jump, so ready to end his life, disgrace his family, end his line. Anything was better than living, anything was better than going back into that horrible school, to the rooms that Dumbledore had shown him earlier, into the hidden lands he had found on his own, lands of glitter and shine and the stench of defeat, the reek of despair. Five minuets in those rooms, and he would go mad, he knew it, and so he leapt into the cold, harsh night air, conceding defeat with every ounce of pride he possessed. Severus Snape had stared into the face of life, and had seen his own death. He would accept that without complaint. The fall was bliss, until the spell that grabbed him, pulled him back to that ledge, until Dumbledore gripped him by the shoulder, and hissed in his ear, I saved you from a life in Azkaban. You would not have lived twenty years in there, but I, I gave you life, and now you must live it. Twenty years, Severus, that's what I bought you, and that's all I ask. Twenty years to aid me, and then you may do as you wish. Twenty years.

---

The memory faded, and Snape's cold eyes focused back on the young Death Eater before him. This man was a true follower of Voldemort, a true devotee, who had the unfortunate weakness of mind that allowed Severus to control him easily. Severus respected him for his faith, and envied him for his certainty. A life of moral absolutes was beyond his grasp now, as was all else that he desired, except one face, a face he had last seen in tears, covered now in smiles. That one thing, he might have for himself, and so he raised his wand, ready to destroy one man's life, in return for one moment of happiness.

I'm going to have to kill you, Thomas. Its a shame, but necessary nonetheless. You have done your family honor. A burst of flames destroyed the young man's horror-stricken face, and Severus wept as he turned his wand upon himself to complete his alibi.

Voldermort and his followers found Snape, wracked by the cruciatus curse that the traitor Thomas had put upon his faithful servant just before he took the blood-traitor's life. After the curse was lifted, Snape gasped, between heavy sobs, You are betrayed, my lord. And now the boys are gone. Walking the line between outright lies and deadly truths, Snape knelt before the most powerful man in the world, and was granted the signal privilege of kissing his hand before he returned to the school.