A/N: WOW. I typed the last one in a little over two days. Anyway,
everybody, I guess I didn't make it clear enough in the last three or so
chapters that Harry had told Draco on several occasions that he refused to
take the relationship further, and were quite adamant about it, due to the
horrible past. Draco is actually acting quite logically for that situation,
which was actually based off of two of my friends' relationships, used with
their permission, of course. The point is Draco thinks the way he does
because he is going off of what Harry has told him. Harry has given
absolutely no indication that he is all right with what happened.
Therefore, Draco was right to assume the way he did because he had no other
information.
Chapter 21
Draco woke up the morning after the Quidditch farce, customarily cursing his bedclothes. "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!!" he screamed, jabbing his finger at the sheets. Oops. A jet of fire shot from his finger, igniting everything. Draco rolled his eyes, putting out the blaze. "Great, just great. I really need this at-" he checked the time, "seven thirty in the morning." He rolled out of bed, and made his way to the bathroom for a much needed shower- cold shower.
Twenty minutes later, he walked back out, ready to face whatever the day decided to dump on him. He strode back into his room, just wearing a towel. Eric was already up, stumbling towards the bathroom. Draco looked at Harry's bed suspiciously. "Harry? It's time to wake up!" he walked over to his bed and opened the curtains. Nothing. His bed was made, which never happened until the House Elves came through and cleaned. Which meant... Draco Apparated straight to his Godfather's quarters.
"Uncle Sev!" Draco strode into his living room. Severus looked up from the book he was reading.
"Yes, Draco? What is it?" Severus asked, putting down Salazar Slytherin's Potions notebook.
"Harry never came in last night. His bed wasn't slept in and I haven't seen him since Quidditch yesterday," Draco reported.
Severus nodded and they walked down the hallway. "Lily, James! Your son is missing!" Severus half yelled as they walked through the entrance to their quarters. Lily and James came rushing out of the bathroom, fully dressed.
"What?" asked Lily anxiously. James echoed her sentiments.
"He never came in last night. His bed was made this morning when I went to wake him up," Draco told them.
Lily shook her head. "Have you tried calling him mentally?" she asked logically.
Mutely, Draco and Severus shook their head. It hadn't even occurred to them. "Ummm, no," Draco offered lamely.
"You guys are worked up over nothing." Lily concentrated on finding Harry's mental signature. *Harry, where are you?* she asked on a broadband mental wavelength.
*I'm up, I'm up, don't shout,* came the bleary reply.
*Where are you?* James asked casually, ready to Apparate.
*I went down to the Chamber last night, just kicking back and listening to music and I guess I fell asleep. I'm really sorry.*
*That's all right. In fact, we're coming down. See ya in a second.* Lily and James Apparated in midstep, Severus and Draco right behind them. They walked into the Chamber, immediately seeing Harry sprawled on a couch, his eyes still only half open.
"Morning, everyone. What brings you down here?" he asked lazily, sitting up. Lily and James plopped down next to him and began tickling him mercilessly.
"Ow- HAHAHAHAHA- come on- HEHEHEHEHEHE- I – HAHAHAHAHA!" He collapsed into a giggle fit, finally falling off the couch with a loud thump. "OW!" he complained, rubbing his head with his hand. "That hurt." He mock glared at his mom, who pretended to be stabbed through the heart and fell over.
The little voice in Harry's head proceeded to nag him. See that? They came looking for you, even Draco. They all care. I don't know what game he's playing but he does care about you even if he doesn't show it. See what you'd miss if you did kill yourself like you wanted to do last night? Harry mentally stabbed the voice with a Q tip. *Shut it, brain! Just shut up!* The voice refused to be quieted. They care, they all do. Besides, your parents came back FOR YOU! They didn't have to but they wanted to be with you and you want to end it all. How selfish is that???
Harry, to the amazement of everyone around him, stood abruptly. "I really need a shower. I'm going back to the Dorms now." He Apparated immediately.
Lily stared at the spot where her son had stood. "Why was he stabbing his brain with a Q tip?" she asked, confused.
Draco stared at her. "What's a Q tip?" he asked, completely lost.
Harry strode from the bathroom, fully dressed. To his surprise, Draco and Ginny stood outside the door, waiting for him to finish. What was even more surprising was the fact that they were arguing.
"I'm the Slytherin Sex God. Of course I'm not a virgin!" Draco protested, his face turning beet red.
"Bull shit, Draco. You're as pure as I am." Harry closed his gaping mouth with a snap. Ginny looked over at him and winked. Draco still had no idea he was standing there, as he was angrily banging his head against the wall.
"Where are you getting this load of shit?" Draco finally exploded. "I assure you I've had sex before. It's practically a requirement for the voting! You can't be the Sex God of Slytherin and not have had sex."
*To videotape and put on the internet or not to videotape and put on the internet?* Harry mused, smirking as his soul mate turned an even more alarming shade of red as he tried to tell his sister he wasn't a virgin. *What is she playing at? We all know Draco lost his a long time ago, or so all the girls he's dated have said.*
"I have proof you are still a blushing virgin, Draco. MILLIE!!!" Ginny yelled at the top of her lungs.
Millicent strode over. "Yes, Ginny?" she asked, smirking.
"What's the notebook say about his virginity status?" Ginny asked impatiently.
Draco stared at them as if they'd lost their minds. "What notebook?" he asked suspiciously.
Millicent smirked and held out her hand. A thick green notebook, spiral bound, appeared in her palm. She put her other hand on the cover, saying clearly, "Draco Malfoy."
The notebook sprang open, flipping itself to a page in the center. "Let's see here," Millie mused out loud, scanning the page. "Yep, got it here. VIRGIN!"
Draco snatched it from her hand. "Let me see that." He scanned the page, his face paling. "Where- where did you get this?" he asked, clutching the notebook to his chest.
"Oh, it's something my family has done for the last hundred years or so. There is always a Bulstrode or one of our relations at Hogwarts and we keep records for the side of the Light. Everyone who has passed through Hogwarts gets a page. It has your deepest secrets, including who you dated, slept with, deepest fears, strange obsessions, etc."
"Really," said Harry speculatively. He took the book form Draco's numb fingers. "There's a book for each house, am I correct?" Millicent nodded, grinning. "And all the Slytherins for the last hundred years or so are in here, correct?" Another nod. "Tom Marvolo Riddle!" Harry snapped, his hand on the cover.
The book flipped open, finally stopping at a page near the front. Harry read the page eagerly, giggling like a madman. Draco and Ginny craned their necks, reading over his shoulder. He lifted a miniature stuffed rabbit hanging by a paperclip form the page.
"Voldemort had a stuffed bunny, who now resides in this book, his name is Mr. Snuffles, and he cried for a month after it was stolen... THIS IS GREAT!!!!" Harry yelled excitedly. "Can I take the bunny? I think Tom would pay dearly to get it back."
Millicent smirked. "Sure, why not? I think that would be a wonderful idea." Harry quickly pocketed the rabbit, ransom plans forming in his diabolical mind.
"Hey, can I see what you have down for me?" Harry asked, intrigued. Millicent summoned the Gryffindor notebook and handed it to him.
Harry looked up his own information, scanning the page when he found it. "Hey, this isn't true." He looked at Millie. "Vernon was a child molester- I can't be a virgin." Millie stared at him, shocked that he could be so candid about it.
"Oh," she said, and grabbed the book. "Hmm, have to add that one in. Thanks, Harry. Hey, I didn't have to use Veritaserum and some strategic memory charms to get information from you!"
Draco stared at her and started to laugh. "That's how you got all that dirt? That's incredible!"
They walked down the Hall together, Millie telling them outrageous stories of how her mother, aunt, uncles, grandparents and other relatives had gotten information on other students.
Draco sighed as he walked to the library, lost in thought. He jumped as an arm snaked around his waist, pulling him into an empty classroom. "Hello, Draco," a sultry female voice purred in his ear.
He rolled his eyes. "Hey, Francesca," he murmured as she flung herself at him, kissing him wildly. He absently kissed her back, not really paying attention to what was going on. As her hands roamed his body, she suddenly, for him, grabbed somewhere that didn't really want to be grabbed by her. He stiffened and pulled her hands from his body, separating them. "Francesca," he growled warningly, his eyes narrowing into slits. "I said no, don't touch me there."
Francesca pouted. "But why?" she asked, grinning in what she thought was a seductive manner. "We can have so much fun."
Draco cocked an eyebrow. *God, I really must be gay. This is so lame it isn't even the least bit funny.* "Because, Francesca, I don't fuck and run."
"Who said anything about running?" she purred, before launching herself at him again.
Draco sidestepped neatly and she stumbled. "You know, my dear, this just isn't working out like I thought it would. You're just too pushy. I come onto people, not the other way around. Tell you what- I'll find you if I want some action, since that's all your interested in." Draco strode from the classroom, angrily wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Stupid bitch! She's almost as bad as Pansy, the hag bitch from hell!"
He walked back down the hall, and heard angry footsteps behind him. "Draco, you stupid bastard, wait!" resounded off the walls. He took off, almost running in his haste to get back to his Dorms.
He Apparated straight to his room, flinging himself on his bed. *Well that went well,* he thought sarcastically. He changed into his swim trunks and Apparated straight to the Spring, ready for some serious relaxation.
Harry sat in the Potions Lab, experimenting with his four different potions to intensify the strength. Severus sat at another table, experimenting with the effects of Harry's telepathy potion and the linking potion. "Uncle Sev? How exactly do you increase the strength of the potion?" Harry asked distractedly, stirring all seven cauldrons at once with magic.
"How do you think?" Severus asked, in the middle of researching the properties and possible countereffects of the different potions ingredients being mixed.
"Less water as a base or a longer simmer time so more water boils off, I know, but the Basilisk blood is lethal at too high a concentration, which is the basis for the stone potion. So, I have to let it concentrate but use something to counteract it. So, any ideas?"
Severus slammed the book shut, having completely lost his concentration. * I need to get this done so I can help my soul mate and he's distracting me!* "Potter, would you please shut up? I have to research the ramifications of these two potions and you are not helping! Now leave me alone and go away!" He went back to reading, skimming over an ancient tome.
Harry stormed out of the Potions lab, tossing his notebook at Severus on his way out. It hit him in the head, startling him, and he leapt up, swearing in fourteen different languages. He finally grabbed the notebook, scowling and muttering about stupid Gryffindors. He opened it up and found all of Harry's notes, immaculately catalogued and in incredibly neat handwriting, detailing every aspect he needed in order to base his comparisons. Severus shook his head, astounded at the clarity. *Damn it, now I have to find him and apologize for being an ass,* he groused to himself, caught up in the first shred of hope he had felt in a long time.
He turned back to the notebook, anxiously scanning the almost anal retentive notes, making notes of his own, and creating parallels between the potions, completely forgetting that he had hurt Harry's feelings. He worked all through the afternoon and finally finished, aware of a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. *What am I forgetting?*
Harry stormed into the Astronomy Tower, sitting on the window ledge. *What the hell was his problem? Why couldn't he help me? I didn't understand what I was doing and he's my teacher. Shouldn't he have helped me? Isn't that his job?* He sat there, swinging his legs over the edge out the Tower window. He looked down at the students below him. Not for the first time that day, a tear trickled down his cheek. *I know I'm not smart, but did he have to make me feel so stupid?* The pain and anger that never seemed to go away any more welled up inside of him until he felt as if he would burst. *I need an outlet for this. I can't take it any more. I'm so frigging stupid. I can't do anything right.*
Harry sat there, motionless except for the tears, slowly trickling at first, and then faster and faster until a torrent rushed down his face, but still he didn't move or make a sound. *Why? Why God why? Why is everyone mad at me? Why do I feel so frigging alone all the time? I just want it to end.* He pulled out his pocket knife, staring at it.
*** Lily stared Harry in the eye. *Promise me, Harry, that if you feel again like hurting yourself, that you'll come to me or Severus. You too, Draco. Promise me.*
*I promise, Mum. Besides, I'm finally happy. Why would I want to hurt myself when I have almost everything I want?* ***
"Mum. I want my Mum." Harry mumbled. "Mum, I promised." With that, he Apparated straight to his parents quarters.
Lily and James were sitting on the couch, their auras flared. They didn't even notice as he Apparated into the room. Harry watched, intrigued as they extended their hands over Lily's gently rounded abdomen. The glow intensified, and their faces broke out into grins as a small, pale silver light shone.
"Hello, little one. James, we have a mind elemental son," Lily said with pride.
James beamed, kissing Lily full on the lips. "What should we name you, little one?" he asked, running a hand over her stomach.
Harry remembered why he was there and stepped warily over to the couch. "Um Mum, Dad?" he asked hesitantly. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, trying to hold back tears. The thought of his problems had him perilously close to losing control.
Lily frowned. "Harry, could we talk later? We're trying to get your new brother to tell us his name." They went back to talking to the newest Potter without even looking at their oldest son.
Harry recoiled, his already depressed state of mind spiraling out of control. "You made me promise, Mum, and now you don't have time for me," he whispered almost inaudibly. They didn't hear him, engrossed in their newest child.
Harry Apparated straight back to the Astronomy Tower, fully planning on throwing himself off. *They don't care. They don't care. They don't care. They don't care,* repeated over and over in his mind.
He ran straight at the window, leaping through it. Downward he sped, staring at the rapidly approaching ground, his doom. All of a sudden, he stopped, hanging in midair, surrounded by a forest green glow. "FUCK!!!!" he screamed, furious. He flipped over, landing on his feet, and angrily kicked the side of the building. Pain lanced through his foot, and he hopped around, swearing vividly.
Several first years saw him and turned around right away, running back inside. He glared at them, swearing in Parseltongue at their – and his- idiocy. He looked up at the window eight stories above him. He reached inside of himself and shot back up towards the window, landing lightly inside the Astronomy Tower. "Damn it! I can't even die properly!" he groused, pulling back out his knife.
He slowly cut more slits running up the length of his arm, watching the blood flow from the slices. He could feel himself calming down, almost hypnotized by the pain and scarlet streams dripping from his fingertips. He watched the blood for almost half an hour before finally healing himself. He sat there, his blood congealing on the floor, until the sun set, a brilliant array of colors, before returning to the main floor of the school.
Monday morning, Harry was up at dawn, his nightmares keeping him up past midnight and waking him up early in the morning. He lay in bed, mentally and physically exhausted before finally rolling out of bed and escaping to the Great Hall. He ate breakfast quickly, the only other people there being three Ravenclaw fifth years studying for their OWLS.
He left the Great Hall as soon as he had finished and ran outside, eager to practice Quidditch. He grabbed his silver and green broom and kicked off the ground, enjoying the feeling of soaring through the air. He frowned, thinking, *I wish I were a bird. That would be so cool. I could fly on my own- wait a minute! What am I thinking? Of course I can fly!*
Harry landed and concentrated, remembering the Eagle Exhibit that had been at the Zoo all those years ago. *A Golden Eagle. I want to be that.* He felt his mouth lengthen and sharpen, his eyes shift to the sides of his head, and his arms sprouted feathers. In about fifteen seconds, an eagle crouched where Harry had stood.
He raised his wings, flapping rhythmically, and rose from the ground. He swooped higher and higher, finally reaching a thermal air current. He soared over the school, just floating on the currents. He watched Draco walk outside, searching the air for something. Severus joined him and they stood there, talking avidly. Intrigued, he swooped closer, listening in on the conversation.
"Have you seen him?" Severus asked Draco.
Draco shook his head. "No. His bed was messed up, so I know he slept there, but he was awake when I left. Are you sure about him?"
"Are you ever going to talk to him? He does deserve answers and you keep brushing him off."
Draco blushed and scuffed his foot, kicking a dirt clod. "I'm working on it, all right? Geez. I even broke up with that little bitch! What more do you want?"
"I want you to treat him right, for a change! Your attitude is abysmal and he deserves better!" Severus ran a hand through his hair. He looked up, finally noticing the eagle perched on the roof above them.
"I'm working on it, all right? I need time to get used to all this. It's too sudden and I have no idea how he'll react to it." Draco looked up, finally noticing the bird as well. "Hey, isn't that a Golden Eagle? And, aren't they native to North America?"
Harry took that as a sign to fly his little birdie butt away from them. He flew over the Forbidden Forest and touched down, transforming back into his human form for a second before shifting to his Animagus form, the Black Panther. He padded through the forest, losing track of time in the process.
Over an hour passed as he played in the Forest, chasing Doxies and Cornish Pixies, swimming and relaxing by the spring, and finally curling up under a large tree- the same tree where Voldemort had killed the Unicorn and drank its blood. He fell asleep, for the first time having a nightmare free nap.
*HARRY, WHERE ARE YOU????* came an extremely worried mental voice a little over three hours later, cutting through his dreams like a knife. He shot awake, panting, looking around him worriedly.
*Oh SHIT!!! I OVERSLEPT!!!!!* he thought in a panic, shooting to his feet. He raced through the Forest, still in his panther form, skidding to the edge of the Forest. Severus, Draco, Lily and Lames were there, agreeing to search parties and meeting places. He cautiously padded over to them, yawning.
Draco whipped around, relief transforming his features. He sprinted over to Harry, flinging his arms around the surprised panther's neck. "God DAMN it, Harry! Don't scare us like that again! We thought something had happened to you!"
*Something did- I fell asleep, the first nightmare free sleep in almost two weeks, not that you care,* Harry snapped, stalking past him and coming to lie down next to his parents. *Sorry, Mum, Dad, I guess I fell asleep.* Lily and James stared at him incredulously, then shifted into panthers themselves, bowling over their son.
*Harry, don't scare us like that again. Tell us next time you go out for a run, all right?* Lily asked, relieved that he was safe.
*Sure, Mum. I'm really, sorry. I fell asleep and didn't even realize how much time had past.*
They play wrestled on the grass, chasing each other in and out of the Forest. Draco and Severus watched them, sad smiles on their faces. "He brushed right past me, Uncle Sev. I think I've ruined any chance I might have had to make things better between us." *God, I'm such an idiot.*
"I hope you haven't but I am afraid you may be right, Draco. I only hope that Harry will forgive your idiocy and actually listen to what you have to say. You really did screw this one up." Severus walked out into the Forest. *Come on, you three, time for lunch. Harry, you have to see Hagrid about the missed class.*
The three panthers shot out of the Forest, chasing each other all the way to the Castle. Draco and Severus walked back as well, just in time to see the three of them transform back to their human forms, rolling on the grass. Severus watched as Harry lay on his back, laughing. He saw as Harry locked eyes with Draco and Harry stopped laughing immediately, a fleeting look of pain rushing across his features before being replaced by a mask of stony indifference.
*Perhaps there is hope for you two yet, Draco. You had better hurry before the mask becomes reality.* Severus walked into the castle, helping Lily stand up along the way.
Harry didn't show up for his Spellwriting class, and informed Sinistera that he would instead talk to Alanna about his next project, how to remove the Dark Mark as a spell, not will magic. Draco sat at their table all alone without any work to do now that Harry had finished their project.
"Mr. Malfoy, would you please start a new project? Just because your partner had a burst of inspiration and finished your project on his own, almost a month a head of schedule, does not mean you can skive off for the rest of the month. Please decide a new topic and get to work." Draco scowled, not for the first time wishing that he hadn't ever shut Harry out.
*This is ridiculous. Think, Malfoy, think!* No burst of inspiration came to him, and he stood up and walked over to the bookshelves on the far wall, browsing for a topic. Nothing appealed to him. He walked back to his desk and pulled out the latest Weaseley Wizard Wheezes catalog, browsing through it. *You know, all these are really cool, but the candies you have to get people to eat, and wave the fake wands, when a spell would be much easier... a spell. Hmm, I have my topic.*
Professor Sinistera looked at the magazine in Draco's hand and stormed over. "Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing?" she snarled, ripping the magazine from his hands.
"Getting inspiration, Professor. Those candies are really nice, but a spell that does the same would be more efficient, as well as get better results." Draco sat back in his chair, already deep in thought.
Professor Sinistera stared at him. "These spells are supposed to be productive, not pranks, Mr. Malfoy," she accused.
"Your opponent can't cast a spell if he's an enormous yellow Canary, can he?" The class burst into laughter.
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy, but you'll have to show me feasible battle ideas as well as exactly how it is to be used."
"Why? Diffundo can be used in several different ways, one of which is a torture method," Draco countered.
Sinistera threw up her hands. "Fine!" She stalked back to her desk, the catalog still in her hands. She idly flipped through the magazine, occasionally making check marks on a page, until the end of the period. Draco sat there, occasionally scribbling furiously on a parchment, at other times just sitting there lost in thought.
At the end of the period, he Apparated straight to the Dungeons, ready to help Severus with the research. To his surprise, Severus was already done, the notebook having cut his research time astronomically. Draco set up next to Ginny and prepared a cauldron, idly flipping through the Potions notebook. He finally decided on an interesting alternative to Wolfsbane, although the notebook wasn't clear as to what would happen once the potion was ingested.
Harry hurried into the Lab with about one minute to spare. He put his books down, panting and quickly started a cauldron, mind racing about testing a hypothesis he had. Unfortunately, it meant completely changing the amounts of the ingredients for the Telepathy Potion, but oh well.
An hour later, Harry was back to square one, his idea a flop. Angrily, he ran his fingers through his spikes, shaking his head. "All right, think," he muttered to himself, pacing across the back of the room. Severus watched him, an eyebrow raised as he studied his nephew.
*What in the world?* he wondered, walking over to the ruined mess. "Potter, what is that?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.
"It was supposed to be an improved Telepath potion but I can't figure out what went wrong." Harry angrily strode over to the cauldron and kicked it half heartedly. "It worked in theory but, in real life..." he trailed off, waving his hand at the lumpy, gray, congealed mess in the cauldron.
Severus stared at him. "Well, figure it out and tell me then, because I have no idea what went wrong."
*Gee, thanks. That helps a bunch.* Harry turned back to the cauldron, finally noticing that the fire was too hot. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. *What the hell? How high did I set that?* He knelt down and stared at the fire in consternation. An intense heat had him scrambling backwards. *Oops, found the problem.* He quickly doused the flames before starting over.
Severus stalked over. "Please tell me, Potter, that your mishap was not due to the simplest of mistakes. You didn't overheat Basilisk's blood!"
Harry scuffed his foot. "Yup, sorry, sir. Stupid mistake." He quickly banished the contents of the cauldron, missing the furious look on Severus's face.
"Potter," growled Severus. "I thought you had moved past your incompetence in the Potions Lab or I would have never allowed you in such an advanced class." Harry whipped around, surprised and hurt.
"Sir, tell me that you've never misjudged the temperature of a fire before," Harry protested.
"Actually, no, that's one thing he has NEVER done. That was a really stupid mistake, Harry. With the right ingredients, Basilisk's Blood being one of them, you could have killed us all in an explosion. You're extremely lucky." Lily stood next to Severus, her arms crossed over her chest. "Didn't you research the properties of what you were using beforehand?"
Harry stared at her, extremely hurt by their attitude. "Yes I did, ask Unc- Professor Snape," he hastily corrected himself. "It's all in the notebook."
Severus held up the notebook in question. "Yes, and why isn't it next to you for easy reference?"
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Because you were using it for reference and I didn't think you were done with it, sir."
Severus scowled at him. "Exactly, you didn't think, Potter. Why the hell did you just waste incredibly rare and expensive Potions ingredients? Do you think I pull these ingredients out of thin air?"
*Uncle Sev, technically you can pull them out of the air and you are being way too hard on him,* Emily and Draco thought simultaneously.
He blinked and turned around to stare at them incredulously. Draco glared at him and Emily looked exasperated. *You aren't yelling at Eric and he's done that several times since the start of class- TODAY!* Eric currently had his head on the desk and was catching up on his sleep.
*Besides, Uncle Sev, Harry's already incredibly depressed, enough so that he can't keep it shielded from me any more. He doesn't need you adding to it. He has already too much to handle.* Draco shot at him, still glaring.
*Well that's the pot calling the cauldron black,* Lily snapped, glaring at Draco.
*Um, while you were arguing, Harry just Apparated, extremely upset,* Ginny told them quietly. They turned, finally realizing that Harry was nowhere to be seen, his school bag gone as well and his workspace cleared. The only thing left were Harry's discarded notes, flung on the floor.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Now where has he gone?" he asked, shaking his head. "Really, by now you think he would have developed a thicker skin."
Ginny, Draco and Emily just glared at the two adults in the classroom. They didn't understand anything and could be so dense some times, was the unanimous thought. Eric slept on, oblivious to everything around him.
Ginny read over the discarded notes, eyebrows raised. "You know, Draco this potion does work, extremely well. I want to try it out." Draco frowned, reading over it as well.
Ginny summoned a new cauldron and started the potion, ready to test Harry's theory. Three hours later, everyone else had left and she was still at it, perfecting Harry's potion.
*This is fascinating!* she thought incredulously as she bottled a batch so strong that it would hopefully cross dimensional barriers, i.e. into Clautius's realm.
Severus walked back into the Lab and sat down on the table right next to his niece, a defeated look on his face. "We can't find him anywhere!" he shook his head and sighed. "He doesn't want to be found."
*I never left,* Harry appeared right next to Ginny. Severus jumped and fell from the table with a crash, landing on the floor. He stared at Harry, his mouth opening and closing rapidly.
"We've been working for over three and a half hours. Did you think I'd experiment with his ideas without him there?" Ginny asked, a frown of concentration on her face. She thrust the bottle into Severus's hands as he stood up. "Don't drop that. It'll make the linking potion work across dimensional barriers, which means-"
"I'll be able to link with Laurel from here and keep the link open," Severus finished, staring at Harry in astonishment. "We've been looking for you for hours. How- Where- What-" he sputtered, rage contorting his face.
Harry stared sullenly at him. "You thought I Apparated but I only didn't want to be seen or felt. I was invisible and completely shielded the whole time."
Severus glared at him. "You insolent brat," he hissed, furious and relieved. "We were worried sick and you've been playing with us the entire time. There are people who care for you and you just hurt them terribly. They thought something horrible had happened to you, and you didn't even see fit to inform your mother you were all right!!!!" he bellowed, finally snapping.
Harry shrank back and searched for a retort, but none came to him. A single tear trickled down his face as Severus continued his tirade.
"How DARE you! We've had search parties combing the Forbidden Forest, Hogsmeade, the Castle, and we couldn't find you! Your mother has been FRANTIC!!!!"
Harry stared at him, wide eyed. "I thought that's what you wanted, asshole!" he finally exploded. "You made it perfectly clear how incompetent I was, and my Mum agreed with you! You made it clear you DIDN'T want me AROUND!!" *And I already know I'm not worth your time and no one wants me around. You don't have to rub it in.* Harry stormed off, Apparating for real this time, as well as resuming his invisibility and immovable shields.
Severus stared at the place where Harry had just been standing. "Did he just call me an asshole?" he demanded.
Ginny stared at him. "Yes, I'm glad to see you aren't deaf," she snapped, terrified at the rage and suicidal feelings coming from Harry before he Apparated.
"Young lady, watch your tone!" he snapped, ready to give her detention or dock House points.
"He's SUICIDAL, YOU INCOMPETANT ASS!!!!!" she screamed, finally letting out her pent up rage and frustration. Severus's eyes bugged out. "HE'S BEEN SLITTING HIS WRISTS AGAIN AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW AND IT IS ALLYOUR FAULT AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO FIND HIM AND HE WANTS – TO – DIE – THIS – TIME!!!!!" Severus stared at her, a sick expression on his face.
Weakly, he sank back down to a sitting position, several tears leaking from his eyes. "Oh shit," he mumbled.
Harry sat, curled in a ball, rocking back and forth. Tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed, alone. *I'm worthless and I cause others pain. People die because of me and they get hurt because of me. If I weren't here they would be all right.* He pulled out his knife again, tears dripping onto the blade. *I want it to end, dear God how I want this to end. Every day it's the same thing. I'm still a fucking weapon, this time to fight the big bad Satan. No one cares and they'd be better off if I never existed. Draco wouldn't have to deal with being bound to a person he doesn't even like, my parents would have never died in the first place, and Siri wouldn't be in Hell. I can't even pull myself together enough to get them out of there. I'm useless! I've had enough! I can't take this any more! I want this to be over with!*
He stared at the knife in fascination, wondering. *Do I dare? Could I take this completely into my hands and end this now?* He turned it over in his hands, just staring at the blades. *I already know what it'll feel like. I've cut myself often enough. Do I have the strength to even try?* To cut and cut deeper and deeper until it can't heal fast enough for it to matter? Did he?
Severus dashed over to the back of the Potions Lab, bringing out three phials filled with a brilliant crimson. Ginny, doing a double take, wondered if they were blood. *DRACO!!!!!!* screamed Severus.
Immediately, Draco, Lily, James, Alanna, Xander, and the rest of the demigods and demigoddesses were there, milling about. "What??? What is it???" demanded Draco.
"Sal! If he ingests this before the week of shelf life is up, what will happen?" demanded Severus, completely frantic.
Sal stared at it. "It'll work for about five minutes, maximum, why?"
"We found Harry but he's gone and he's gonna kill himself!" Ginny burst out, tears falling down her face.
"WHAT???" yelped James and Lily, rushing to Severus. "What are you – What???"
"What is this?" Draco asked, staring at the potion.
"It's the linking potion. Harry has found a way to make himself not only invisible, but completely shielded from our senses. He can't be found unless you can get him to drop his shields!" Severus thrust a phial at Draco and he took it warily.
"Why me?" Draco asked. "Why not his parents?"
"You're his soul mate and the reason he's doing this!" Ginny snapped. "You have to show him how you feel!"
"But he hates me! I hurt him horribly by my actions at the party! I knew how his uncle treated him and how he hates to be touched and how he doesn't want anything like that from me and I still took advantage of him!" Draco protested, waving his arms around.
"You idiot!" Ginny snapped. "He LOVES you! Get it through your head. We had a talk about this and he didn't have a problem with it at all! It's when he saw you kidding that Ravenclaw WHORE that he freaked out! He actually trusted you not to hurt him and you hurt him worse than his uncle ever did!"
Draco stared at her, his face ashen. "You- you mean that he was all right with what happened?" he asked slowly. "Why didn't he tell me?" A tear trickled down his face.
"Because he saw you with that girl and then you told him it didn't mean anything. That's when all this started. It's your fault that it happened, now FIX IT!!!!!" she shrieked, completely transforming in her fury. "FIND MY BROTHER AND FIX HIM!!!! YOU BROKE HIM NOW MAKE IT RIGHT!!!!!!!"
He experimentally held the knife to his arm, for the first time feeling happy. *It's going to really be over soon,* he thought in wonder, sticking the blade over three inches straight into his arm. He hissed in pain, and slowly dragged the knife all the way down his arm, digging deeper and deeper into his forearm. Blood, a vivid scarlet, spurted from the wound and he stared at it as it spurted faster and faster. *This isn't so bad,* he thought faintly, hypnotized by the spurting artery spilling his life onto the cold stone ground.
He gripped the slick knife in his other hand, and slashed his other arm the same way, falling forward, already dizzy from the blood loss. *I'm doing it. I'm actually, for once, in control of my life and my actions. For once, I make the rules, the decisions. No more manipulations, no more lies. Just peace, wonderful peace. I choose this. I choose death over my pitiful excuse of a life.* He fell onto the floor and curled into a ball. His last conscious thought, before blackness overtook his mind, was *I pity the person who has to clean the blood.*
Draco gulped the contents of the phial, gagging on the sickly sweet taste running down his throat. Immediately, he threw his mind out to his soul mate's, feeling, for the first time in weeks, Harry's mind. Blackness threatened to overtake him and he stumbled, falling against a desk. Strong arms caught him and sat him down.
"Where is he?" came a voice, frantic with worry. Draco concentrated.
"The Astronomy Tower. Go now, it's almost too late," he spoke haltingly, shutting down all the mental and physical barriers Harry had erected between himself and the world. He felt his soul mate's life force fading and he Apparated, appearing beside Harry's bloodstained body.
Draco threw his magic into Harry's body, trying desperately to heal his soul mate. *Harry, please heal! I love you more than life itself! Please, come back!!!* He thought frantically as the bleeding refused to slow. Desperate, Draco poured more and more of himself into Harry, trying to repair the damage. *I NEED HELP!!!!* he screamed, realizing that his efforts were in vain.
Everyone Apparated into the room, their auras flared. Lily knelt by Draco, running her fingers through Harry's hair. "Oh, my boy, why didn't you tell us? You promised." Tears slid down her cheeks and she focused her energy on her son, her and Draco's combined magic finally starting to slow the blood. James stood next to her, adding his magic to the mix. Severus, Alanna, Xander, Gaila, Olivia- one by one, they added their powers, the room growing brighter and brighter as they forced their magic into Harry's body and mind, healing the damage he wrought on himself.
They sat like that for hours, healing and rehealing. Every time they managed to seal one wound and start on the other, the first one sprang back open.
"GOD DAMN IT, HARRY!!!! Just HEAL!" Draco screamed, after his wounds had popped open for the tenth time.
*Why?* came the faint reply. *Let me go. I want this. Besides, with me gone, you don't have to be with someone you can't stand. You said it yourself. I'm damaged goods. Now let me go. I'm going home and you can't stop me. Mother is waiting and I can finally have peace.*
Alanna stared at the comatose boy in shock. *You bastard!!!* she yelled. *So you're just going to give up, just like that? You're our only hope in hell of winning this war , you pathetic loser!*
*I couldn't save myself from a Muggle. What makes you think I can take on Satan? I'm nothing, nothing special. In fact, my Uncles, both of them, were right about me. I am worthless. I can't do anything right. You people don't see just how pathetic I really am. I'm just going to fail, so why bother?*
*BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU MORON!!!!!* Draco screamed at him.
Harry's eyes popped open, and he stared at Draco with dead eyes. *Bull shit. I mean nothing to you. You told me that.*
Draco grabbed Harry's mind and forced their consciousnesses to meld completely. Harry's eyes widened as he saw exactly what his soul mate had gone through and why. In return, Draco had tears streaming down his face as he felt exactly what he had done to drive Harry to suicide. They sat there, staring at each other, faces inches apart. Neither of them noticed as a faint verdant glow surrounded Harry, slowly closing and sealing the gashes on his arms. Everyone sat back, sighing in relief, as Harry's face lost its pallor and the wounds finally stayed closed for more than a few seconds.
Draco and Harry, locked in each others' minds, ignored everyone around them as they completely explored the other. Harry shifted in Draco's lap, finding a comfortable spot, and they sat that way for a long time, with Harry resting his head against Draco's shoulder, cradled in his arms. Draco and Harry's magic melded, completely healing the Gryffindor and restoring the blood he lost.
*Don't ever shut me out like that again. Promise me you won't. It almost killed me,* Harry thought sleepily.
*I promise, Harry. Don't ever do something like that again. I can't lose you now, not when I only just found you.* Draco stroked Harry's hair absently, still crying profusely.
*You do know that this is going to take a long time to forgive. Don't think that we are going to kiss and make up. You really hurt me.*
*I know. Ginny told me. What I did was worse than anything Vernon could have done because you trusted me not to hurt you.* They sat that way for almost an hour in silence, their minds irrevocably joined, never again to separate. Everyone, with the exception of Lily, James, Severus, and Ginny left, the crisis averted.
Lily stared at Harry, tears still falling down her cheeks. "Harry, why? Why didn't you come to me? You promised."
He turned to her, tears falling anew down his face. "I did, Mum. You didn't have time for me!" his face twisted and he buried his face into Draco's shoulder, inadvertently showing Draco the memory.
"What?" she asked, confused and hurt. "I always have time for you!"
"No, no you didn't. Harry is right. He came to you, the both of you, and you blew him off!" Draco exclaimed, shocked and hurt. "You're his parents and you convinced him you had no time for him! You were too busy with the newest Potter! He tired to tell you and you ignored him and told him to come back later!"
Lily and James stared at the two of them, confused and hurt. "What? When did that happen?" James asked, staring at them.
"Yesterday! He came in and asked you if he could talk to you and you- "
"We told him we were busy and to come back later." Lily stared at Harry, her face very pale. "Oh my, God, Harry, I am so sorry. That was inexcusable." She stared at her son, unable to think of anything to do or say to make it better, because, in reality, nothing could. She and James had failed.
"Can I go back to the Dorms, please? Take me home. I'm really tired," Harry whispered to Draco. He nodded and joined hands with Ginny, Apparating them straight to the boy's dorms. They all crawled into bed together, Ginny and Draco on either side of Harry. They lay there, deeply linked, and slept peacefully, without a single nightmare amongst the three of them.
A/N: All right all right, that's the last you'll see of suicidal Harry. God, writing like that makes me SOOOOOO depressed. And, Gabbers, is that a happy enough ending for you? They are together.... But not in the way you all want, I'm afraid. So sorry, but I just can't bring myself to write true slash, at least not yet. Maybe by the end of book one (out of two and an epilogue) they'll have something going, but not soon by any means of the imagination.
B/N: .... At long last. WAAAAAAAHHHHH! It's so ha-a-a-appy! Well, the ending is. As for the suicidal Harry part, well, thank God for Prozac! So now everything be nicey-nice, no? No! It will not all be nicey-nice! We have a lifetime of psychiatric therapy to get through, you dumbasses! Then, and only then, it will all be nicey-nice. Which is why we have to move on from this chapter and continue the story! So we get to see the ending before the world comes to an end! Oooh, on a less depressing note..... hmm..... uuuh..... damnit! Nothing less depressing to talk about! F*ck! Oh Hell, tune in next time! Toodles!
Chapter 21
Draco woke up the morning after the Quidditch farce, customarily cursing his bedclothes. "DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!!" he screamed, jabbing his finger at the sheets. Oops. A jet of fire shot from his finger, igniting everything. Draco rolled his eyes, putting out the blaze. "Great, just great. I really need this at-" he checked the time, "seven thirty in the morning." He rolled out of bed, and made his way to the bathroom for a much needed shower- cold shower.
Twenty minutes later, he walked back out, ready to face whatever the day decided to dump on him. He strode back into his room, just wearing a towel. Eric was already up, stumbling towards the bathroom. Draco looked at Harry's bed suspiciously. "Harry? It's time to wake up!" he walked over to his bed and opened the curtains. Nothing. His bed was made, which never happened until the House Elves came through and cleaned. Which meant... Draco Apparated straight to his Godfather's quarters.
"Uncle Sev!" Draco strode into his living room. Severus looked up from the book he was reading.
"Yes, Draco? What is it?" Severus asked, putting down Salazar Slytherin's Potions notebook.
"Harry never came in last night. His bed wasn't slept in and I haven't seen him since Quidditch yesterday," Draco reported.
Severus nodded and they walked down the hallway. "Lily, James! Your son is missing!" Severus half yelled as they walked through the entrance to their quarters. Lily and James came rushing out of the bathroom, fully dressed.
"What?" asked Lily anxiously. James echoed her sentiments.
"He never came in last night. His bed was made this morning when I went to wake him up," Draco told them.
Lily shook her head. "Have you tried calling him mentally?" she asked logically.
Mutely, Draco and Severus shook their head. It hadn't even occurred to them. "Ummm, no," Draco offered lamely.
"You guys are worked up over nothing." Lily concentrated on finding Harry's mental signature. *Harry, where are you?* she asked on a broadband mental wavelength.
*I'm up, I'm up, don't shout,* came the bleary reply.
*Where are you?* James asked casually, ready to Apparate.
*I went down to the Chamber last night, just kicking back and listening to music and I guess I fell asleep. I'm really sorry.*
*That's all right. In fact, we're coming down. See ya in a second.* Lily and James Apparated in midstep, Severus and Draco right behind them. They walked into the Chamber, immediately seeing Harry sprawled on a couch, his eyes still only half open.
"Morning, everyone. What brings you down here?" he asked lazily, sitting up. Lily and James plopped down next to him and began tickling him mercilessly.
"Ow- HAHAHAHAHA- come on- HEHEHEHEHEHE- I – HAHAHAHAHA!" He collapsed into a giggle fit, finally falling off the couch with a loud thump. "OW!" he complained, rubbing his head with his hand. "That hurt." He mock glared at his mom, who pretended to be stabbed through the heart and fell over.
The little voice in Harry's head proceeded to nag him. See that? They came looking for you, even Draco. They all care. I don't know what game he's playing but he does care about you even if he doesn't show it. See what you'd miss if you did kill yourself like you wanted to do last night? Harry mentally stabbed the voice with a Q tip. *Shut it, brain! Just shut up!* The voice refused to be quieted. They care, they all do. Besides, your parents came back FOR YOU! They didn't have to but they wanted to be with you and you want to end it all. How selfish is that???
Harry, to the amazement of everyone around him, stood abruptly. "I really need a shower. I'm going back to the Dorms now." He Apparated immediately.
Lily stared at the spot where her son had stood. "Why was he stabbing his brain with a Q tip?" she asked, confused.
Draco stared at her. "What's a Q tip?" he asked, completely lost.
Harry strode from the bathroom, fully dressed. To his surprise, Draco and Ginny stood outside the door, waiting for him to finish. What was even more surprising was the fact that they were arguing.
"I'm the Slytherin Sex God. Of course I'm not a virgin!" Draco protested, his face turning beet red.
"Bull shit, Draco. You're as pure as I am." Harry closed his gaping mouth with a snap. Ginny looked over at him and winked. Draco still had no idea he was standing there, as he was angrily banging his head against the wall.
"Where are you getting this load of shit?" Draco finally exploded. "I assure you I've had sex before. It's practically a requirement for the voting! You can't be the Sex God of Slytherin and not have had sex."
*To videotape and put on the internet or not to videotape and put on the internet?* Harry mused, smirking as his soul mate turned an even more alarming shade of red as he tried to tell his sister he wasn't a virgin. *What is she playing at? We all know Draco lost his a long time ago, or so all the girls he's dated have said.*
"I have proof you are still a blushing virgin, Draco. MILLIE!!!" Ginny yelled at the top of her lungs.
Millicent strode over. "Yes, Ginny?" she asked, smirking.
"What's the notebook say about his virginity status?" Ginny asked impatiently.
Draco stared at them as if they'd lost their minds. "What notebook?" he asked suspiciously.
Millicent smirked and held out her hand. A thick green notebook, spiral bound, appeared in her palm. She put her other hand on the cover, saying clearly, "Draco Malfoy."
The notebook sprang open, flipping itself to a page in the center. "Let's see here," Millie mused out loud, scanning the page. "Yep, got it here. VIRGIN!"
Draco snatched it from her hand. "Let me see that." He scanned the page, his face paling. "Where- where did you get this?" he asked, clutching the notebook to his chest.
"Oh, it's something my family has done for the last hundred years or so. There is always a Bulstrode or one of our relations at Hogwarts and we keep records for the side of the Light. Everyone who has passed through Hogwarts gets a page. It has your deepest secrets, including who you dated, slept with, deepest fears, strange obsessions, etc."
"Really," said Harry speculatively. He took the book form Draco's numb fingers. "There's a book for each house, am I correct?" Millicent nodded, grinning. "And all the Slytherins for the last hundred years or so are in here, correct?" Another nod. "Tom Marvolo Riddle!" Harry snapped, his hand on the cover.
The book flipped open, finally stopping at a page near the front. Harry read the page eagerly, giggling like a madman. Draco and Ginny craned their necks, reading over his shoulder. He lifted a miniature stuffed rabbit hanging by a paperclip form the page.
"Voldemort had a stuffed bunny, who now resides in this book, his name is Mr. Snuffles, and he cried for a month after it was stolen... THIS IS GREAT!!!!" Harry yelled excitedly. "Can I take the bunny? I think Tom would pay dearly to get it back."
Millicent smirked. "Sure, why not? I think that would be a wonderful idea." Harry quickly pocketed the rabbit, ransom plans forming in his diabolical mind.
"Hey, can I see what you have down for me?" Harry asked, intrigued. Millicent summoned the Gryffindor notebook and handed it to him.
Harry looked up his own information, scanning the page when he found it. "Hey, this isn't true." He looked at Millie. "Vernon was a child molester- I can't be a virgin." Millie stared at him, shocked that he could be so candid about it.
"Oh," she said, and grabbed the book. "Hmm, have to add that one in. Thanks, Harry. Hey, I didn't have to use Veritaserum and some strategic memory charms to get information from you!"
Draco stared at her and started to laugh. "That's how you got all that dirt? That's incredible!"
They walked down the Hall together, Millie telling them outrageous stories of how her mother, aunt, uncles, grandparents and other relatives had gotten information on other students.
Draco sighed as he walked to the library, lost in thought. He jumped as an arm snaked around his waist, pulling him into an empty classroom. "Hello, Draco," a sultry female voice purred in his ear.
He rolled his eyes. "Hey, Francesca," he murmured as she flung herself at him, kissing him wildly. He absently kissed her back, not really paying attention to what was going on. As her hands roamed his body, she suddenly, for him, grabbed somewhere that didn't really want to be grabbed by her. He stiffened and pulled her hands from his body, separating them. "Francesca," he growled warningly, his eyes narrowing into slits. "I said no, don't touch me there."
Francesca pouted. "But why?" she asked, grinning in what she thought was a seductive manner. "We can have so much fun."
Draco cocked an eyebrow. *God, I really must be gay. This is so lame it isn't even the least bit funny.* "Because, Francesca, I don't fuck and run."
"Who said anything about running?" she purred, before launching herself at him again.
Draco sidestepped neatly and she stumbled. "You know, my dear, this just isn't working out like I thought it would. You're just too pushy. I come onto people, not the other way around. Tell you what- I'll find you if I want some action, since that's all your interested in." Draco strode from the classroom, angrily wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Stupid bitch! She's almost as bad as Pansy, the hag bitch from hell!"
He walked back down the hall, and heard angry footsteps behind him. "Draco, you stupid bastard, wait!" resounded off the walls. He took off, almost running in his haste to get back to his Dorms.
He Apparated straight to his room, flinging himself on his bed. *Well that went well,* he thought sarcastically. He changed into his swim trunks and Apparated straight to the Spring, ready for some serious relaxation.
Harry sat in the Potions Lab, experimenting with his four different potions to intensify the strength. Severus sat at another table, experimenting with the effects of Harry's telepathy potion and the linking potion. "Uncle Sev? How exactly do you increase the strength of the potion?" Harry asked distractedly, stirring all seven cauldrons at once with magic.
"How do you think?" Severus asked, in the middle of researching the properties and possible countereffects of the different potions ingredients being mixed.
"Less water as a base or a longer simmer time so more water boils off, I know, but the Basilisk blood is lethal at too high a concentration, which is the basis for the stone potion. So, I have to let it concentrate but use something to counteract it. So, any ideas?"
Severus slammed the book shut, having completely lost his concentration. * I need to get this done so I can help my soul mate and he's distracting me!* "Potter, would you please shut up? I have to research the ramifications of these two potions and you are not helping! Now leave me alone and go away!" He went back to reading, skimming over an ancient tome.
Harry stormed out of the Potions lab, tossing his notebook at Severus on his way out. It hit him in the head, startling him, and he leapt up, swearing in fourteen different languages. He finally grabbed the notebook, scowling and muttering about stupid Gryffindors. He opened it up and found all of Harry's notes, immaculately catalogued and in incredibly neat handwriting, detailing every aspect he needed in order to base his comparisons. Severus shook his head, astounded at the clarity. *Damn it, now I have to find him and apologize for being an ass,* he groused to himself, caught up in the first shred of hope he had felt in a long time.
He turned back to the notebook, anxiously scanning the almost anal retentive notes, making notes of his own, and creating parallels between the potions, completely forgetting that he had hurt Harry's feelings. He worked all through the afternoon and finally finished, aware of a nagging feeling in the back of his mind. *What am I forgetting?*
Harry stormed into the Astronomy Tower, sitting on the window ledge. *What the hell was his problem? Why couldn't he help me? I didn't understand what I was doing and he's my teacher. Shouldn't he have helped me? Isn't that his job?* He sat there, swinging his legs over the edge out the Tower window. He looked down at the students below him. Not for the first time that day, a tear trickled down his cheek. *I know I'm not smart, but did he have to make me feel so stupid?* The pain and anger that never seemed to go away any more welled up inside of him until he felt as if he would burst. *I need an outlet for this. I can't take it any more. I'm so frigging stupid. I can't do anything right.*
Harry sat there, motionless except for the tears, slowly trickling at first, and then faster and faster until a torrent rushed down his face, but still he didn't move or make a sound. *Why? Why God why? Why is everyone mad at me? Why do I feel so frigging alone all the time? I just want it to end.* He pulled out his pocket knife, staring at it.
*** Lily stared Harry in the eye. *Promise me, Harry, that if you feel again like hurting yourself, that you'll come to me or Severus. You too, Draco. Promise me.*
*I promise, Mum. Besides, I'm finally happy. Why would I want to hurt myself when I have almost everything I want?* ***
"Mum. I want my Mum." Harry mumbled. "Mum, I promised." With that, he Apparated straight to his parents quarters.
Lily and James were sitting on the couch, their auras flared. They didn't even notice as he Apparated into the room. Harry watched, intrigued as they extended their hands over Lily's gently rounded abdomen. The glow intensified, and their faces broke out into grins as a small, pale silver light shone.
"Hello, little one. James, we have a mind elemental son," Lily said with pride.
James beamed, kissing Lily full on the lips. "What should we name you, little one?" he asked, running a hand over her stomach.
Harry remembered why he was there and stepped warily over to the couch. "Um Mum, Dad?" he asked hesitantly. "Can I talk to you?" he asked, trying to hold back tears. The thought of his problems had him perilously close to losing control.
Lily frowned. "Harry, could we talk later? We're trying to get your new brother to tell us his name." They went back to talking to the newest Potter without even looking at their oldest son.
Harry recoiled, his already depressed state of mind spiraling out of control. "You made me promise, Mum, and now you don't have time for me," he whispered almost inaudibly. They didn't hear him, engrossed in their newest child.
Harry Apparated straight back to the Astronomy Tower, fully planning on throwing himself off. *They don't care. They don't care. They don't care. They don't care,* repeated over and over in his mind.
He ran straight at the window, leaping through it. Downward he sped, staring at the rapidly approaching ground, his doom. All of a sudden, he stopped, hanging in midair, surrounded by a forest green glow. "FUCK!!!!" he screamed, furious. He flipped over, landing on his feet, and angrily kicked the side of the building. Pain lanced through his foot, and he hopped around, swearing vividly.
Several first years saw him and turned around right away, running back inside. He glared at them, swearing in Parseltongue at their – and his- idiocy. He looked up at the window eight stories above him. He reached inside of himself and shot back up towards the window, landing lightly inside the Astronomy Tower. "Damn it! I can't even die properly!" he groused, pulling back out his knife.
He slowly cut more slits running up the length of his arm, watching the blood flow from the slices. He could feel himself calming down, almost hypnotized by the pain and scarlet streams dripping from his fingertips. He watched the blood for almost half an hour before finally healing himself. He sat there, his blood congealing on the floor, until the sun set, a brilliant array of colors, before returning to the main floor of the school.
Monday morning, Harry was up at dawn, his nightmares keeping him up past midnight and waking him up early in the morning. He lay in bed, mentally and physically exhausted before finally rolling out of bed and escaping to the Great Hall. He ate breakfast quickly, the only other people there being three Ravenclaw fifth years studying for their OWLS.
He left the Great Hall as soon as he had finished and ran outside, eager to practice Quidditch. He grabbed his silver and green broom and kicked off the ground, enjoying the feeling of soaring through the air. He frowned, thinking, *I wish I were a bird. That would be so cool. I could fly on my own- wait a minute! What am I thinking? Of course I can fly!*
Harry landed and concentrated, remembering the Eagle Exhibit that had been at the Zoo all those years ago. *A Golden Eagle. I want to be that.* He felt his mouth lengthen and sharpen, his eyes shift to the sides of his head, and his arms sprouted feathers. In about fifteen seconds, an eagle crouched where Harry had stood.
He raised his wings, flapping rhythmically, and rose from the ground. He swooped higher and higher, finally reaching a thermal air current. He soared over the school, just floating on the currents. He watched Draco walk outside, searching the air for something. Severus joined him and they stood there, talking avidly. Intrigued, he swooped closer, listening in on the conversation.
"Have you seen him?" Severus asked Draco.
Draco shook his head. "No. His bed was messed up, so I know he slept there, but he was awake when I left. Are you sure about him?"
"Are you ever going to talk to him? He does deserve answers and you keep brushing him off."
Draco blushed and scuffed his foot, kicking a dirt clod. "I'm working on it, all right? Geez. I even broke up with that little bitch! What more do you want?"
"I want you to treat him right, for a change! Your attitude is abysmal and he deserves better!" Severus ran a hand through his hair. He looked up, finally noticing the eagle perched on the roof above them.
"I'm working on it, all right? I need time to get used to all this. It's too sudden and I have no idea how he'll react to it." Draco looked up, finally noticing the bird as well. "Hey, isn't that a Golden Eagle? And, aren't they native to North America?"
Harry took that as a sign to fly his little birdie butt away from them. He flew over the Forbidden Forest and touched down, transforming back into his human form for a second before shifting to his Animagus form, the Black Panther. He padded through the forest, losing track of time in the process.
Over an hour passed as he played in the Forest, chasing Doxies and Cornish Pixies, swimming and relaxing by the spring, and finally curling up under a large tree- the same tree where Voldemort had killed the Unicorn and drank its blood. He fell asleep, for the first time having a nightmare free nap.
*HARRY, WHERE ARE YOU????* came an extremely worried mental voice a little over three hours later, cutting through his dreams like a knife. He shot awake, panting, looking around him worriedly.
*Oh SHIT!!! I OVERSLEPT!!!!!* he thought in a panic, shooting to his feet. He raced through the Forest, still in his panther form, skidding to the edge of the Forest. Severus, Draco, Lily and Lames were there, agreeing to search parties and meeting places. He cautiously padded over to them, yawning.
Draco whipped around, relief transforming his features. He sprinted over to Harry, flinging his arms around the surprised panther's neck. "God DAMN it, Harry! Don't scare us like that again! We thought something had happened to you!"
*Something did- I fell asleep, the first nightmare free sleep in almost two weeks, not that you care,* Harry snapped, stalking past him and coming to lie down next to his parents. *Sorry, Mum, Dad, I guess I fell asleep.* Lily and James stared at him incredulously, then shifted into panthers themselves, bowling over their son.
*Harry, don't scare us like that again. Tell us next time you go out for a run, all right?* Lily asked, relieved that he was safe.
*Sure, Mum. I'm really, sorry. I fell asleep and didn't even realize how much time had past.*
They play wrestled on the grass, chasing each other in and out of the Forest. Draco and Severus watched them, sad smiles on their faces. "He brushed right past me, Uncle Sev. I think I've ruined any chance I might have had to make things better between us." *God, I'm such an idiot.*
"I hope you haven't but I am afraid you may be right, Draco. I only hope that Harry will forgive your idiocy and actually listen to what you have to say. You really did screw this one up." Severus walked out into the Forest. *Come on, you three, time for lunch. Harry, you have to see Hagrid about the missed class.*
The three panthers shot out of the Forest, chasing each other all the way to the Castle. Draco and Severus walked back as well, just in time to see the three of them transform back to their human forms, rolling on the grass. Severus watched as Harry lay on his back, laughing. He saw as Harry locked eyes with Draco and Harry stopped laughing immediately, a fleeting look of pain rushing across his features before being replaced by a mask of stony indifference.
*Perhaps there is hope for you two yet, Draco. You had better hurry before the mask becomes reality.* Severus walked into the castle, helping Lily stand up along the way.
Harry didn't show up for his Spellwriting class, and informed Sinistera that he would instead talk to Alanna about his next project, how to remove the Dark Mark as a spell, not will magic. Draco sat at their table all alone without any work to do now that Harry had finished their project.
"Mr. Malfoy, would you please start a new project? Just because your partner had a burst of inspiration and finished your project on his own, almost a month a head of schedule, does not mean you can skive off for the rest of the month. Please decide a new topic and get to work." Draco scowled, not for the first time wishing that he hadn't ever shut Harry out.
*This is ridiculous. Think, Malfoy, think!* No burst of inspiration came to him, and he stood up and walked over to the bookshelves on the far wall, browsing for a topic. Nothing appealed to him. He walked back to his desk and pulled out the latest Weaseley Wizard Wheezes catalog, browsing through it. *You know, all these are really cool, but the candies you have to get people to eat, and wave the fake wands, when a spell would be much easier... a spell. Hmm, I have my topic.*
Professor Sinistera looked at the magazine in Draco's hand and stormed over. "Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing?" she snarled, ripping the magazine from his hands.
"Getting inspiration, Professor. Those candies are really nice, but a spell that does the same would be more efficient, as well as get better results." Draco sat back in his chair, already deep in thought.
Professor Sinistera stared at him. "These spells are supposed to be productive, not pranks, Mr. Malfoy," she accused.
"Your opponent can't cast a spell if he's an enormous yellow Canary, can he?" The class burst into laughter.
"Very well, Mr. Malfoy, but you'll have to show me feasible battle ideas as well as exactly how it is to be used."
"Why? Diffundo can be used in several different ways, one of which is a torture method," Draco countered.
Sinistera threw up her hands. "Fine!" She stalked back to her desk, the catalog still in her hands. She idly flipped through the magazine, occasionally making check marks on a page, until the end of the period. Draco sat there, occasionally scribbling furiously on a parchment, at other times just sitting there lost in thought.
At the end of the period, he Apparated straight to the Dungeons, ready to help Severus with the research. To his surprise, Severus was already done, the notebook having cut his research time astronomically. Draco set up next to Ginny and prepared a cauldron, idly flipping through the Potions notebook. He finally decided on an interesting alternative to Wolfsbane, although the notebook wasn't clear as to what would happen once the potion was ingested.
Harry hurried into the Lab with about one minute to spare. He put his books down, panting and quickly started a cauldron, mind racing about testing a hypothesis he had. Unfortunately, it meant completely changing the amounts of the ingredients for the Telepathy Potion, but oh well.
An hour later, Harry was back to square one, his idea a flop. Angrily, he ran his fingers through his spikes, shaking his head. "All right, think," he muttered to himself, pacing across the back of the room. Severus watched him, an eyebrow raised as he studied his nephew.
*What in the world?* he wondered, walking over to the ruined mess. "Potter, what is that?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.
"It was supposed to be an improved Telepath potion but I can't figure out what went wrong." Harry angrily strode over to the cauldron and kicked it half heartedly. "It worked in theory but, in real life..." he trailed off, waving his hand at the lumpy, gray, congealed mess in the cauldron.
Severus stared at him. "Well, figure it out and tell me then, because I have no idea what went wrong."
*Gee, thanks. That helps a bunch.* Harry turned back to the cauldron, finally noticing that the fire was too hot. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. *What the hell? How high did I set that?* He knelt down and stared at the fire in consternation. An intense heat had him scrambling backwards. *Oops, found the problem.* He quickly doused the flames before starting over.
Severus stalked over. "Please tell me, Potter, that your mishap was not due to the simplest of mistakes. You didn't overheat Basilisk's blood!"
Harry scuffed his foot. "Yup, sorry, sir. Stupid mistake." He quickly banished the contents of the cauldron, missing the furious look on Severus's face.
"Potter," growled Severus. "I thought you had moved past your incompetence in the Potions Lab or I would have never allowed you in such an advanced class." Harry whipped around, surprised and hurt.
"Sir, tell me that you've never misjudged the temperature of a fire before," Harry protested.
"Actually, no, that's one thing he has NEVER done. That was a really stupid mistake, Harry. With the right ingredients, Basilisk's Blood being one of them, you could have killed us all in an explosion. You're extremely lucky." Lily stood next to Severus, her arms crossed over her chest. "Didn't you research the properties of what you were using beforehand?"
Harry stared at her, extremely hurt by their attitude. "Yes I did, ask Unc- Professor Snape," he hastily corrected himself. "It's all in the notebook."
Severus held up the notebook in question. "Yes, and why isn't it next to you for easy reference?"
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Because you were using it for reference and I didn't think you were done with it, sir."
Severus scowled at him. "Exactly, you didn't think, Potter. Why the hell did you just waste incredibly rare and expensive Potions ingredients? Do you think I pull these ingredients out of thin air?"
*Uncle Sev, technically you can pull them out of the air and you are being way too hard on him,* Emily and Draco thought simultaneously.
He blinked and turned around to stare at them incredulously. Draco glared at him and Emily looked exasperated. *You aren't yelling at Eric and he's done that several times since the start of class- TODAY!* Eric currently had his head on the desk and was catching up on his sleep.
*Besides, Uncle Sev, Harry's already incredibly depressed, enough so that he can't keep it shielded from me any more. He doesn't need you adding to it. He has already too much to handle.* Draco shot at him, still glaring.
*Well that's the pot calling the cauldron black,* Lily snapped, glaring at Draco.
*Um, while you were arguing, Harry just Apparated, extremely upset,* Ginny told them quietly. They turned, finally realizing that Harry was nowhere to be seen, his school bag gone as well and his workspace cleared. The only thing left were Harry's discarded notes, flung on the floor.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Now where has he gone?" he asked, shaking his head. "Really, by now you think he would have developed a thicker skin."
Ginny, Draco and Emily just glared at the two adults in the classroom. They didn't understand anything and could be so dense some times, was the unanimous thought. Eric slept on, oblivious to everything around him.
Ginny read over the discarded notes, eyebrows raised. "You know, Draco this potion does work, extremely well. I want to try it out." Draco frowned, reading over it as well.
Ginny summoned a new cauldron and started the potion, ready to test Harry's theory. Three hours later, everyone else had left and she was still at it, perfecting Harry's potion.
*This is fascinating!* she thought incredulously as she bottled a batch so strong that it would hopefully cross dimensional barriers, i.e. into Clautius's realm.
Severus walked back into the Lab and sat down on the table right next to his niece, a defeated look on his face. "We can't find him anywhere!" he shook his head and sighed. "He doesn't want to be found."
*I never left,* Harry appeared right next to Ginny. Severus jumped and fell from the table with a crash, landing on the floor. He stared at Harry, his mouth opening and closing rapidly.
"We've been working for over three and a half hours. Did you think I'd experiment with his ideas without him there?" Ginny asked, a frown of concentration on her face. She thrust the bottle into Severus's hands as he stood up. "Don't drop that. It'll make the linking potion work across dimensional barriers, which means-"
"I'll be able to link with Laurel from here and keep the link open," Severus finished, staring at Harry in astonishment. "We've been looking for you for hours. How- Where- What-" he sputtered, rage contorting his face.
Harry stared sullenly at him. "You thought I Apparated but I only didn't want to be seen or felt. I was invisible and completely shielded the whole time."
Severus glared at him. "You insolent brat," he hissed, furious and relieved. "We were worried sick and you've been playing with us the entire time. There are people who care for you and you just hurt them terribly. They thought something horrible had happened to you, and you didn't even see fit to inform your mother you were all right!!!!" he bellowed, finally snapping.
Harry shrank back and searched for a retort, but none came to him. A single tear trickled down his face as Severus continued his tirade.
"How DARE you! We've had search parties combing the Forbidden Forest, Hogsmeade, the Castle, and we couldn't find you! Your mother has been FRANTIC!!!!"
Harry stared at him, wide eyed. "I thought that's what you wanted, asshole!" he finally exploded. "You made it perfectly clear how incompetent I was, and my Mum agreed with you! You made it clear you DIDN'T want me AROUND!!" *And I already know I'm not worth your time and no one wants me around. You don't have to rub it in.* Harry stormed off, Apparating for real this time, as well as resuming his invisibility and immovable shields.
Severus stared at the place where Harry had just been standing. "Did he just call me an asshole?" he demanded.
Ginny stared at him. "Yes, I'm glad to see you aren't deaf," she snapped, terrified at the rage and suicidal feelings coming from Harry before he Apparated.
"Young lady, watch your tone!" he snapped, ready to give her detention or dock House points.
"He's SUICIDAL, YOU INCOMPETANT ASS!!!!!" she screamed, finally letting out her pent up rage and frustration. Severus's eyes bugged out. "HE'S BEEN SLITTING HIS WRISTS AGAIN AND THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW AND IT IS ALLYOUR FAULT AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO FIND HIM AND HE WANTS – TO – DIE – THIS – TIME!!!!!" Severus stared at her, a sick expression on his face.
Weakly, he sank back down to a sitting position, several tears leaking from his eyes. "Oh shit," he mumbled.
Harry sat, curled in a ball, rocking back and forth. Tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed, alone. *I'm worthless and I cause others pain. People die because of me and they get hurt because of me. If I weren't here they would be all right.* He pulled out his knife again, tears dripping onto the blade. *I want it to end, dear God how I want this to end. Every day it's the same thing. I'm still a fucking weapon, this time to fight the big bad Satan. No one cares and they'd be better off if I never existed. Draco wouldn't have to deal with being bound to a person he doesn't even like, my parents would have never died in the first place, and Siri wouldn't be in Hell. I can't even pull myself together enough to get them out of there. I'm useless! I've had enough! I can't take this any more! I want this to be over with!*
He stared at the knife in fascination, wondering. *Do I dare? Could I take this completely into my hands and end this now?* He turned it over in his hands, just staring at the blades. *I already know what it'll feel like. I've cut myself often enough. Do I have the strength to even try?* To cut and cut deeper and deeper until it can't heal fast enough for it to matter? Did he?
Severus dashed over to the back of the Potions Lab, bringing out three phials filled with a brilliant crimson. Ginny, doing a double take, wondered if they were blood. *DRACO!!!!!!* screamed Severus.
Immediately, Draco, Lily, James, Alanna, Xander, and the rest of the demigods and demigoddesses were there, milling about. "What??? What is it???" demanded Draco.
"Sal! If he ingests this before the week of shelf life is up, what will happen?" demanded Severus, completely frantic.
Sal stared at it. "It'll work for about five minutes, maximum, why?"
"We found Harry but he's gone and he's gonna kill himself!" Ginny burst out, tears falling down her face.
"WHAT???" yelped James and Lily, rushing to Severus. "What are you – What???"
"What is this?" Draco asked, staring at the potion.
"It's the linking potion. Harry has found a way to make himself not only invisible, but completely shielded from our senses. He can't be found unless you can get him to drop his shields!" Severus thrust a phial at Draco and he took it warily.
"Why me?" Draco asked. "Why not his parents?"
"You're his soul mate and the reason he's doing this!" Ginny snapped. "You have to show him how you feel!"
"But he hates me! I hurt him horribly by my actions at the party! I knew how his uncle treated him and how he hates to be touched and how he doesn't want anything like that from me and I still took advantage of him!" Draco protested, waving his arms around.
"You idiot!" Ginny snapped. "He LOVES you! Get it through your head. We had a talk about this and he didn't have a problem with it at all! It's when he saw you kidding that Ravenclaw WHORE that he freaked out! He actually trusted you not to hurt him and you hurt him worse than his uncle ever did!"
Draco stared at her, his face ashen. "You- you mean that he was all right with what happened?" he asked slowly. "Why didn't he tell me?" A tear trickled down his face.
"Because he saw you with that girl and then you told him it didn't mean anything. That's when all this started. It's your fault that it happened, now FIX IT!!!!!" she shrieked, completely transforming in her fury. "FIND MY BROTHER AND FIX HIM!!!! YOU BROKE HIM NOW MAKE IT RIGHT!!!!!!!"
He experimentally held the knife to his arm, for the first time feeling happy. *It's going to really be over soon,* he thought in wonder, sticking the blade over three inches straight into his arm. He hissed in pain, and slowly dragged the knife all the way down his arm, digging deeper and deeper into his forearm. Blood, a vivid scarlet, spurted from the wound and he stared at it as it spurted faster and faster. *This isn't so bad,* he thought faintly, hypnotized by the spurting artery spilling his life onto the cold stone ground.
He gripped the slick knife in his other hand, and slashed his other arm the same way, falling forward, already dizzy from the blood loss. *I'm doing it. I'm actually, for once, in control of my life and my actions. For once, I make the rules, the decisions. No more manipulations, no more lies. Just peace, wonderful peace. I choose this. I choose death over my pitiful excuse of a life.* He fell onto the floor and curled into a ball. His last conscious thought, before blackness overtook his mind, was *I pity the person who has to clean the blood.*
Draco gulped the contents of the phial, gagging on the sickly sweet taste running down his throat. Immediately, he threw his mind out to his soul mate's, feeling, for the first time in weeks, Harry's mind. Blackness threatened to overtake him and he stumbled, falling against a desk. Strong arms caught him and sat him down.
"Where is he?" came a voice, frantic with worry. Draco concentrated.
"The Astronomy Tower. Go now, it's almost too late," he spoke haltingly, shutting down all the mental and physical barriers Harry had erected between himself and the world. He felt his soul mate's life force fading and he Apparated, appearing beside Harry's bloodstained body.
Draco threw his magic into Harry's body, trying desperately to heal his soul mate. *Harry, please heal! I love you more than life itself! Please, come back!!!* He thought frantically as the bleeding refused to slow. Desperate, Draco poured more and more of himself into Harry, trying to repair the damage. *I NEED HELP!!!!* he screamed, realizing that his efforts were in vain.
Everyone Apparated into the room, their auras flared. Lily knelt by Draco, running her fingers through Harry's hair. "Oh, my boy, why didn't you tell us? You promised." Tears slid down her cheeks and she focused her energy on her son, her and Draco's combined magic finally starting to slow the blood. James stood next to her, adding his magic to the mix. Severus, Alanna, Xander, Gaila, Olivia- one by one, they added their powers, the room growing brighter and brighter as they forced their magic into Harry's body and mind, healing the damage he wrought on himself.
They sat like that for hours, healing and rehealing. Every time they managed to seal one wound and start on the other, the first one sprang back open.
"GOD DAMN IT, HARRY!!!! Just HEAL!" Draco screamed, after his wounds had popped open for the tenth time.
*Why?* came the faint reply. *Let me go. I want this. Besides, with me gone, you don't have to be with someone you can't stand. You said it yourself. I'm damaged goods. Now let me go. I'm going home and you can't stop me. Mother is waiting and I can finally have peace.*
Alanna stared at the comatose boy in shock. *You bastard!!!* she yelled. *So you're just going to give up, just like that? You're our only hope in hell of winning this war , you pathetic loser!*
*I couldn't save myself from a Muggle. What makes you think I can take on Satan? I'm nothing, nothing special. In fact, my Uncles, both of them, were right about me. I am worthless. I can't do anything right. You people don't see just how pathetic I really am. I'm just going to fail, so why bother?*
*BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU MORON!!!!!* Draco screamed at him.
Harry's eyes popped open, and he stared at Draco with dead eyes. *Bull shit. I mean nothing to you. You told me that.*
Draco grabbed Harry's mind and forced their consciousnesses to meld completely. Harry's eyes widened as he saw exactly what his soul mate had gone through and why. In return, Draco had tears streaming down his face as he felt exactly what he had done to drive Harry to suicide. They sat there, staring at each other, faces inches apart. Neither of them noticed as a faint verdant glow surrounded Harry, slowly closing and sealing the gashes on his arms. Everyone sat back, sighing in relief, as Harry's face lost its pallor and the wounds finally stayed closed for more than a few seconds.
Draco and Harry, locked in each others' minds, ignored everyone around them as they completely explored the other. Harry shifted in Draco's lap, finding a comfortable spot, and they sat that way for a long time, with Harry resting his head against Draco's shoulder, cradled in his arms. Draco and Harry's magic melded, completely healing the Gryffindor and restoring the blood he lost.
*Don't ever shut me out like that again. Promise me you won't. It almost killed me,* Harry thought sleepily.
*I promise, Harry. Don't ever do something like that again. I can't lose you now, not when I only just found you.* Draco stroked Harry's hair absently, still crying profusely.
*You do know that this is going to take a long time to forgive. Don't think that we are going to kiss and make up. You really hurt me.*
*I know. Ginny told me. What I did was worse than anything Vernon could have done because you trusted me not to hurt you.* They sat that way for almost an hour in silence, their minds irrevocably joined, never again to separate. Everyone, with the exception of Lily, James, Severus, and Ginny left, the crisis averted.
Lily stared at Harry, tears still falling down her cheeks. "Harry, why? Why didn't you come to me? You promised."
He turned to her, tears falling anew down his face. "I did, Mum. You didn't have time for me!" his face twisted and he buried his face into Draco's shoulder, inadvertently showing Draco the memory.
"What?" she asked, confused and hurt. "I always have time for you!"
"No, no you didn't. Harry is right. He came to you, the both of you, and you blew him off!" Draco exclaimed, shocked and hurt. "You're his parents and you convinced him you had no time for him! You were too busy with the newest Potter! He tired to tell you and you ignored him and told him to come back later!"
Lily and James stared at the two of them, confused and hurt. "What? When did that happen?" James asked, staring at them.
"Yesterday! He came in and asked you if he could talk to you and you- "
"We told him we were busy and to come back later." Lily stared at Harry, her face very pale. "Oh my, God, Harry, I am so sorry. That was inexcusable." She stared at her son, unable to think of anything to do or say to make it better, because, in reality, nothing could. She and James had failed.
"Can I go back to the Dorms, please? Take me home. I'm really tired," Harry whispered to Draco. He nodded and joined hands with Ginny, Apparating them straight to the boy's dorms. They all crawled into bed together, Ginny and Draco on either side of Harry. They lay there, deeply linked, and slept peacefully, without a single nightmare amongst the three of them.
A/N: All right all right, that's the last you'll see of suicidal Harry. God, writing like that makes me SOOOOOO depressed. And, Gabbers, is that a happy enough ending for you? They are together.... But not in the way you all want, I'm afraid. So sorry, but I just can't bring myself to write true slash, at least not yet. Maybe by the end of book one (out of two and an epilogue) they'll have something going, but not soon by any means of the imagination.
B/N: .... At long last. WAAAAAAAHHHHH! It's so ha-a-a-appy! Well, the ending is. As for the suicidal Harry part, well, thank God for Prozac! So now everything be nicey-nice, no? No! It will not all be nicey-nice! We have a lifetime of psychiatric therapy to get through, you dumbasses! Then, and only then, it will all be nicey-nice. Which is why we have to move on from this chapter and continue the story! So we get to see the ending before the world comes to an end! Oooh, on a less depressing note..... hmm..... uuuh..... damnit! Nothing less depressing to talk about! F*ck! Oh Hell, tune in next time! Toodles!