Father Dearest

Author: Lost-Soul-Of-Mine

Disclaimer: I don't own The O.C. or any characters from the O.C.

Summary: Ryan remembers his father.

The Cohen think you abused as my mother or one of her boyfriends did. I never have spoken of you to them, telling them who you really are or more appropriately were to me as children. I think it's because it still hurt too much to admit I lost you; not to death but to the dark unjust world, we live in. Yet I still remember my dear father, who was a man; not a perfect man, just a man who I loved.

I remember when I six you gave up drugs... for me. I was playing in the living room when you stumbled in, stoned out of your mind. I just looked at you disappointed because you acting just like my mother and ran from the room in fear of you. That snapped you out of your use of drugs. My father couldn't stand me looking at him that way. After that day you never used again... You wouldn't even look at drugs. Even through I didn't tell you then I was proud to have you as my father, my role model.

When I was seven I made you angry, well more like furious. You raise your hand to hit me and I curled into a ball in fear of you. The blow never came; your anger vanished when you saw that. I remember my father kneeling beside, as he pulled me into his arms and cried because of the fear he caused. Never again did you raise your hand to me or my brother Trey; that made me smile in secret.

At the age of eight I tripped and cut my hand on a broken bottle of alcohol. Dawn yelled at me for getting blood everywhere. You, my dear father yelled because it was your bottles that I cut my hand on. You cleaned up the mess and wrapped up my hand. After that day you never drank heavily again, I cried out in happiness from that.

Nine years old I remember being beaten up by two old kids. You smiled sadly and cleaned me up. Trey laughed at me, you yelled at him for not helping me. Then you took me out back and taught me 'something that I should had taught you long ago'; how to defend myself and how to sucker punch someone. I became strong because of you.

Lastly at when I was ten everything came together only to fall apart. My dear father was taken from me. I remember you picking me and spinning me around. My father bought a house in Chino, a new start. 'No more trailer parks for us' you said a smile on your face. Once again Dawn tore us apart; she owned money to a drug dealer. Money we didn't have and couldn't get in time. You tried get him to leave us alone, but he threaten me and my brother. So you did what you had to do. 'Ryan' you said, 'I love you, my son and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do. But no one is going to hurt my children. Even if it means I have to do this.' You kissed my forehead and left without looking back. That scared me.

Later that evening my father can home with his head down and sat in front of the t.v. I climbed into your lap and hugged you because something bad was going to happen. It always did to us in this dark world. An hour later police arrived; yelling for you to come out. You did; with one last hug you walked out of the door and my life. My father I'm proud to say didn't try to run and he didn't hide in the house with a gun. He simply walked out of the trailer; laid down on the ground with his arms behind his back. You didn't fight, when they took you away. You just watched me from the car until we couldn't see each other. I cried out in pain and sadness that night.

You always treated me different from Trey; but it's because I remind you of him. I remind you of your little brother who just very sick when you 17. He was 12 years old when it happened and only when he died did you realize what he meant to you. You always said we had the same eyes and the same spirit; I smiled at that. I think now you were trying to make it up to your brother by treating me the way you did. I didn't mind that.

Now I see you, my father, my role model. Light brown hair with grey mixed into it. Blue eyes meeting mine through thick glass that keeps us apart. Here through a phone I tell you everything that didn't when I was young, how I was proud to have you as my father, how I miss you and how I had a new family now but not a new father because you would always be my father. After I finished I said I love you and would be back again, with that I quickly hung up. I couldn't take you speaking to me; it was mine turn now and next time it would be yours.

With tears in your eyes, you held up your hand to the glass which I met with mine. I held it there for a minute before I got out the chair and walked towards the door. This time I looked back, where you didn't. I looked back at the man I was proud to have as a father. The man who lost everything to protect his children at all cost. My father, whom I love today and will love everyday of the rest of my life. Until I visit again; father dearest, I will remember.

Fin.

A.N. Sorry, it was just bugging me so I had to write it. I might write a sequel, but that is up to you the readers. So review and tell me if you like or want a sequel. NO FLAMES. Okay then.

- Lost Soul Of Mine