The two poems read in this chapter are MINE!!!! Don't take them. They
mean a lot to me. (
I went into the bathroom and undressed before turning the water on in the shower. I sat in the warm water, letting myself absorb it. All of the makeup I had on was running down my face and down the drain. Kind of like my life. Down the drain. Amazing, isn't it? Amazing how tragedy...and sickness...can tear a person apart. Rip them and shred them into tiny pieces, too small to pick up.
My life was falling apart. My world was crumbling around me. Getting out of the shower and putting my night clothes on, I went to my room and sat down at my desk. I had to work on that project for Kwan's class.
I lifted my pencil and brought it down on the paper, letting my emotions spill out.
"Emma," Ms. Kwan was saying. "Would you like to read your poem aloud? It's your turn."
I stood and straightened out invisible wrinkles from my skirt. I took a deep breath and began to read:
"I sit here
Alone
I fear I will be this way forever.
My whole world is crashing down around me,
But no one knows.
They won't care about
This problem that they don't see.
My whole world is crashing down around me.
And no one knows.
They can't tell
That the person they used to know
Is gone.
They don't care
That she is falling apart.
Even if they did,
There's no help now.
My whole world has crashed around me.
No one knew.
They didn't see." I cleared my throat and sat down.
"That was....very interesting, Emma. Now how about the other poem I told you to write?"
"Other poem?"
"Yes, the love poem?"
"Oh, that," I searched through my bag to find it and stood again. I began to read it.
"It hurts so much
To see the way you look at her.
It hurts so much
To see the way you smile at her.
It hurts so much
To realize that smiles not meant for me.
It hurts so much
Is this the way it has to be?
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
We're friends,
But that's all.
I know that it won't end
I know I'll never make you fall.
And baby, that hurts so much.
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
When are you going to open your eyes
And not be blind.
When are you going to open your eyes
And see the sign
You're not where her heart lies
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
She doesn't watch for you like I do.
She doesn't need you like I do.
She doesn't want you like I do.
She doesn't wait for you like I do.
She doesn't love you like I do.
And baby, that hurts too much."
"You did a wonderful job of capturing the emotion, Emma," Ms. Kwan
said.
I went into the bathroom and undressed before turning the water on in the shower. I sat in the warm water, letting myself absorb it. All of the makeup I had on was running down my face and down the drain. Kind of like my life. Down the drain. Amazing, isn't it? Amazing how tragedy...and sickness...can tear a person apart. Rip them and shred them into tiny pieces, too small to pick up.
My life was falling apart. My world was crumbling around me. Getting out of the shower and putting my night clothes on, I went to my room and sat down at my desk. I had to work on that project for Kwan's class.
I lifted my pencil and brought it down on the paper, letting my emotions spill out.
"Emma," Ms. Kwan was saying. "Would you like to read your poem aloud? It's your turn."
I stood and straightened out invisible wrinkles from my skirt. I took a deep breath and began to read:
"I sit here
Alone
I fear I will be this way forever.
My whole world is crashing down around me,
But no one knows.
They won't care about
This problem that they don't see.
My whole world is crashing down around me.
And no one knows.
They can't tell
That the person they used to know
Is gone.
They don't care
That she is falling apart.
Even if they did,
There's no help now.
My whole world has crashed around me.
No one knew.
They didn't see." I cleared my throat and sat down.
"That was....very interesting, Emma. Now how about the other poem I told you to write?"
"Other poem?"
"Yes, the love poem?"
"Oh, that," I searched through my bag to find it and stood again. I began to read it.
"It hurts so much
To see the way you look at her.
It hurts so much
To see the way you smile at her.
It hurts so much
To realize that smiles not meant for me.
It hurts so much
Is this the way it has to be?
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
We're friends,
But that's all.
I know that it won't end
I know I'll never make you fall.
And baby, that hurts so much.
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
When are you going to open your eyes
And not be blind.
When are you going to open your eyes
And see the sign
You're not where her heart lies
It hurts so much
To want you so bad.
And it hurts so much
To hear the way she talks about you.
And baby it hurts so much
To know that you will never be mine.
It hurts so much
Yeah, it hurts too much.
She doesn't watch for you like I do.
She doesn't need you like I do.
She doesn't want you like I do.
She doesn't wait for you like I do.
She doesn't love you like I do.
And baby, that hurts too much."
"You did a wonderful job of capturing the emotion, Emma," Ms. Kwan
said.