Disclaimer: There are whole groups of people that get part of the profit
from Harry Potter and the legion of ideas surrounding him. I don't. Never
will.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who keeps reading this story. I love the reviews! What a boost for my ego! Special thanks to "Kerri" for the late night conversations about the story - and for leading me down a new path when mine seemed to be blocked with boulders. Sometimes you just have to backtrack and try a new way to the middle of the maze. (
Chapter 7
Semi-detached
Don't you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
I'll be right by your side
Say goodnight, not good-bye -Beth Neil Chapman
Albus Dumbledore stared at Ginny for a very long time before he finally said, "As you might have already figured out, I don't have all the answers. No person does. I can promise you one thing. The sun will rise again tomorrow and I can say, without any exaggeration, that you are in some part responsible for that."
"I'm not responsible for anything the sun does!" Ginny answered indignantly, shaking herself from the stupor she had fallen in while looking into the fire. Her world had shrunk down to this beautiful room in the last three hours. There was nothing important that existed outside of the four walls.
"No, but you are responsible for there still being an earth for the sun to shine upon. I don't think anyone fully realizes what your sacrifices meant. What any of the sacrifices meant. Voldemort was not just a danger to the wizarding community. His rule would have also meant destruction for the Muggle world. Your efforts saved the human race."
"I didn't do anything special. It was the right thing to do."
"There is still something holding you back from complete healing, I suspect. You let Neville and your family into your life but not your heart. You don't seem comfortable going into public unless you can be anonymous. Why?"
"I don't know. They got in as far as I was comfortable."
"Comfortable will get you a broken heart and lonely future every time."
"I've already dealt with a broken heart. How much harder can a lonely future be? Maybe I'll get a cat. Or a couple. I'll be the crazy old lady in a house overflowing with cats. How can you be lonely with a hundred cats to feed every day?"
He narrowed his eyes at her flippant attitude. The fire was mesmerizing her once again. It was time to act. Pulling out his wand, Dumbledore shot a stream of yellow light towards the French doors leading outside and another one towards the door into the hallway.
"What did you do that for?" Ginny was on her feet now, the hair on the back of her neck still standing up from the electricity that had shot past her.
"You will be staying here for now. In this room. No other human can come in unless you open the door. You can exit into the house but not outside but only if you state your purpose and the door deems it a worthy cause." His expression softened as he looked down at his young friend. "If you want to hide forever, you will hide here. I only hope that you will realize that your sacrifices also made it possible for you to live, not just survive. Don't let your past keep you from your future."
Before she could answer, he was gone.
***
The door hadn't moved in the three hours she stared at it today nor for the three and half she had watched it last night. It wasn't like she had anything else better to do with her day then watch the dull painted wood and shiny handles.
She was feeling lost and confused. Harry was no longer in the forefront of her thoughts but there were still so many other emotions to feel. Her family had to be disappointed with the way she had run out on them so suddenly but she didn't know how to tell them that she lost her nerve that day.
The old Ginny would have enjoyed the banter. The new Ginny wasn't used to so many voices at once. The old Ginny knew where her life was going. The new Ginny barely knew what to eat for lunch. The old Ginny knew that her family loved her no matter what. The new Ginny worried that she had alienated them forever.
The old Ginny had loved unselfishly. The new Ginny wanted to guard her heart.
A snowy owl flew through the open window, only just barely ruffling the leaves of the plants blooming in the window box before landing on the arm of the chair where Ginny sat moping.
"Hedwig! I haven't seen you in ages. You look gorgeous!" The owl nipped lovingly at her hand as she stroked the downy feathers. They renewed their friendship before the owl held out her leg. Attached was a letter from Hermione.
Dear Ginny: It's three in the morning and Grant has just gone back to sleep but I don't seem to be tired. So much has happened lately and the family is on edge. Not to beat a dead horse, but we miss you very much. I think this time is worse because we know where you are but we can't reach you. Dumbledore has been to visit and told us that you will be staying in Neville's parlor for the time being. It has been strange to be without Neville, as well. He has become one of the family over the years but he hasn't been dropping by lately. I think he must also be feeling the strain. If you see him, please let him know that we miss him. You're both invited to Sunday dinner. If you come, you come. If you don't, you don't. No pressure. Just a side note, if you don't mind very much, will you take care of Hedwig? She has put up with our household for the past four years but I think she will be happier with you. No matter what you decide, be happy, little sister. Hermione
Tears splashed down on the rolled parchment before she realized she was crying. She stroked the owl while she contemplated her next move. Part of her wanted to run back to her parent's house, shouting her apologies loudly. Another part wasn't ready to take responsibility for being a member of a family again.
Another owl flew through the window, landing beside Hedwig. A parcel dropped from the bag in his mouth and he was off again. Frowning at the odd brown paper, Ginny bent forward and grabbed the package. There were no markings on the outside but a card dropped out of the book as she unwrapped it.
Ginny, Please don't think I'm being forward by sending this to you. I thought you might enjoy reading it. I had Terry sign it. Neville
Dumbledore's Army by Professor Terry Boot was etched with sparkling gold dust into the black dragon's hide on the cover. She flipped open the book to the front page. Ginny, this won't bring Harry back but I hope it will help you come back to us. Such a tiny bit of history compared to what we learned about in our History of Magic classes but such an important bit. Terry
She flipped another page to the dedications and bit the inside of her lip to keep from sobbing. Without this group of outstanding people, there would be no existence worth living. In the words of a great Muggle, "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." I strongly believe that. This is my way of showing my love and appreciation to each and every one of them. And to Harry Potter, who lived such a short time for such a great purpose, I dedicate this book.
"Look, Hedwig. It's Harry." It hadn't been hard to find the large picture of her dearest friend. The black and white portrait at the beginning of Chapter 4, Harry Potter - A Life of Wonder made Ginny laugh as she remembered the time it had been taken. A reporter had come by Hogwarts to interview Harry on how his Firebolt had helped him catch the Snitch during 35 straight Quidditch matches. This was the only picture he had ever posed for gladly. The owl hooted as the boy grinned and waved at the two of them.
"We'll come back to him. Let's see who else there is in this book." She flipped to the front again and looked at the chapter. The section entitled Neville Longbottom - Determination & Fortitude caught her eye. All the pictures were strangely empty but Ginny enjoyed reading the information about this man whom she seemed to no longer understand. So many of the holes from the past four years were filling in now. She still had questions for Neville that she needed answered but now was not the time to think about them all.
Wondering over to the window, she could enjoy the sunshine. The back gardens were starting to take on shape as the overgrowth was beaten back by an indefinable number of sheep. It had been a surprise to look out the window the first time and see the white, woolly creatures eating away at the foliage - grass, trees, bushes. These weren't like the sheep that normally lined the hills. All of them were roughly the size of male hippos with hundreds of tiny claws on the bottom of their hooves that aerated the lawn as they walked over it. It was enjoyable to watch them go about their jobs but slightly scary when they took breaks by jumping over hedges or chasing each other over the smooth lawns.
Watching the strange creatures was doing little to keep her mind off the current problems that plagued her. The bright sunshine on the manicured grass reminded her of the park where Neville convinced her to come home and all the old insecurities and doubts rose to the surface once again. She chewed at her ragged fingernails and paced away from the window.
Neville's present was lying open to the very center when she walked by, Hedwig looking surprisingly nonchalant. Taking a closer look, she saw a new picture. A picture of Dumbledore's Army taken during a break in the fighting. The ragged group had smiled for the picture, claiming the Colin was making them stop ever fifteen minutes for a photo op as he covered the war for the Daily Prophet. It was odd to remember how much laughter and happiness they had all shared while dealing with the terror and bloodshed of war. Harming someone with a wand was really no different then using a Muggle weapon. Death still looked and smelled and felt the same.
It was amazing how she hadn't been haunted by thoughts of the war in the last four years. She didn't hear the screams of the wounded or smell the tang of the blood anymore. It had haunted her every night before she fled. Being near Harry had made it better. His death had erased all thoughts from her mind - all feelings from her heart. In a way, going numb had saved her.
"I have to find this girl again," she whispered, caressing her smudged face and flyaway curls. "I need that sense of adventure and fair play. I need her optimism. I want to smile and feel it in my heart. I want to love Neville without either of us feeling guilty."
Her eyes were dry but her heart was crying. Drained from the intense emotions she had felt over the last four days, and especially from today, Ginny curled on the couch and fell asleep as Hedwig softly brushed her cheeks with her wing.
***
Neville pounded his pillow into a new shape. It was only early evening but, having stayed up for the past 48 hours, he felt that he needed to at least attempt to sleep. Everyone had been giving him a wide berth at work lately. Between his haggard face and fierce temper, no one wanted to deal with him.
He didn't blame them. All he wanted to do was stare at the door in the room now dubbed "Ginny's Garden Parlor" by the portraits. It was a waste of time waiting for something to happen but Dumbledore had effectively kept him from running to Ginny. She was as effectively cloaked from Neville as if his wand had become a plastic fish.
When he wasn't brooding at the office or pacing the floors at home, he was trying not to dream. He knew that he needed sleep soon but every time he tried, he could see his mother the last time he had seen her alive. She had smiled at him in the vague way he had gone accustomed to over the years but something was different this time. There was a light in her eyes as she caressed his hand. When she spoke, he had physically jumped.
"Son." Her voice was low, hoarse from disuse. She hadn't said anything else and the light had gone out of her eyes as she slipped into a final unconsciousness.
When he had dreamed of this moment before, it had made him feel warm and loved. Now it made him feel empty, like something had been left undone.
"Why?" he groaned, flinging the blankets aside. "Why now? Why me?"
The sleeping drought was still in the cabinet from the last time he had used it. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't go that deep into oblivion again but he didn't have much choice. His secretary was liable to leave for good if he snapped at her again. Taking a swig from the bottle without aid of a spoon, he stared at the haggard man in the mirror before him. Was that a gray hair? The sudden blurring of the image reminded him that he needed to get back to bed before he ended up sleeping on the floor here in the loo.
The last thing he saw as he entered the bedroom was the pillow he had pummelled into submission just minutes earlier. He sincerely hoped he was close enough to the bed to land on it.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who keeps reading this story. I love the reviews! What a boost for my ego! Special thanks to "Kerri" for the late night conversations about the story - and for leading me down a new path when mine seemed to be blocked with boulders. Sometimes you just have to backtrack and try a new way to the middle of the maze. (
Chapter 7
Semi-detached
Don't you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
I'll be right by your side
Say goodnight, not good-bye -Beth Neil Chapman
Albus Dumbledore stared at Ginny for a very long time before he finally said, "As you might have already figured out, I don't have all the answers. No person does. I can promise you one thing. The sun will rise again tomorrow and I can say, without any exaggeration, that you are in some part responsible for that."
"I'm not responsible for anything the sun does!" Ginny answered indignantly, shaking herself from the stupor she had fallen in while looking into the fire. Her world had shrunk down to this beautiful room in the last three hours. There was nothing important that existed outside of the four walls.
"No, but you are responsible for there still being an earth for the sun to shine upon. I don't think anyone fully realizes what your sacrifices meant. What any of the sacrifices meant. Voldemort was not just a danger to the wizarding community. His rule would have also meant destruction for the Muggle world. Your efforts saved the human race."
"I didn't do anything special. It was the right thing to do."
"There is still something holding you back from complete healing, I suspect. You let Neville and your family into your life but not your heart. You don't seem comfortable going into public unless you can be anonymous. Why?"
"I don't know. They got in as far as I was comfortable."
"Comfortable will get you a broken heart and lonely future every time."
"I've already dealt with a broken heart. How much harder can a lonely future be? Maybe I'll get a cat. Or a couple. I'll be the crazy old lady in a house overflowing with cats. How can you be lonely with a hundred cats to feed every day?"
He narrowed his eyes at her flippant attitude. The fire was mesmerizing her once again. It was time to act. Pulling out his wand, Dumbledore shot a stream of yellow light towards the French doors leading outside and another one towards the door into the hallway.
"What did you do that for?" Ginny was on her feet now, the hair on the back of her neck still standing up from the electricity that had shot past her.
"You will be staying here for now. In this room. No other human can come in unless you open the door. You can exit into the house but not outside but only if you state your purpose and the door deems it a worthy cause." His expression softened as he looked down at his young friend. "If you want to hide forever, you will hide here. I only hope that you will realize that your sacrifices also made it possible for you to live, not just survive. Don't let your past keep you from your future."
Before she could answer, he was gone.
***
The door hadn't moved in the three hours she stared at it today nor for the three and half she had watched it last night. It wasn't like she had anything else better to do with her day then watch the dull painted wood and shiny handles.
She was feeling lost and confused. Harry was no longer in the forefront of her thoughts but there were still so many other emotions to feel. Her family had to be disappointed with the way she had run out on them so suddenly but she didn't know how to tell them that she lost her nerve that day.
The old Ginny would have enjoyed the banter. The new Ginny wasn't used to so many voices at once. The old Ginny knew where her life was going. The new Ginny barely knew what to eat for lunch. The old Ginny knew that her family loved her no matter what. The new Ginny worried that she had alienated them forever.
The old Ginny had loved unselfishly. The new Ginny wanted to guard her heart.
A snowy owl flew through the open window, only just barely ruffling the leaves of the plants blooming in the window box before landing on the arm of the chair where Ginny sat moping.
"Hedwig! I haven't seen you in ages. You look gorgeous!" The owl nipped lovingly at her hand as she stroked the downy feathers. They renewed their friendship before the owl held out her leg. Attached was a letter from Hermione.
Dear Ginny: It's three in the morning and Grant has just gone back to sleep but I don't seem to be tired. So much has happened lately and the family is on edge. Not to beat a dead horse, but we miss you very much. I think this time is worse because we know where you are but we can't reach you. Dumbledore has been to visit and told us that you will be staying in Neville's parlor for the time being. It has been strange to be without Neville, as well. He has become one of the family over the years but he hasn't been dropping by lately. I think he must also be feeling the strain. If you see him, please let him know that we miss him. You're both invited to Sunday dinner. If you come, you come. If you don't, you don't. No pressure. Just a side note, if you don't mind very much, will you take care of Hedwig? She has put up with our household for the past four years but I think she will be happier with you. No matter what you decide, be happy, little sister. Hermione
Tears splashed down on the rolled parchment before she realized she was crying. She stroked the owl while she contemplated her next move. Part of her wanted to run back to her parent's house, shouting her apologies loudly. Another part wasn't ready to take responsibility for being a member of a family again.
Another owl flew through the window, landing beside Hedwig. A parcel dropped from the bag in his mouth and he was off again. Frowning at the odd brown paper, Ginny bent forward and grabbed the package. There were no markings on the outside but a card dropped out of the book as she unwrapped it.
Ginny, Please don't think I'm being forward by sending this to you. I thought you might enjoy reading it. I had Terry sign it. Neville
Dumbledore's Army by Professor Terry Boot was etched with sparkling gold dust into the black dragon's hide on the cover. She flipped open the book to the front page. Ginny, this won't bring Harry back but I hope it will help you come back to us. Such a tiny bit of history compared to what we learned about in our History of Magic classes but such an important bit. Terry
She flipped another page to the dedications and bit the inside of her lip to keep from sobbing. Without this group of outstanding people, there would be no existence worth living. In the words of a great Muggle, "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." I strongly believe that. This is my way of showing my love and appreciation to each and every one of them. And to Harry Potter, who lived such a short time for such a great purpose, I dedicate this book.
"Look, Hedwig. It's Harry." It hadn't been hard to find the large picture of her dearest friend. The black and white portrait at the beginning of Chapter 4, Harry Potter - A Life of Wonder made Ginny laugh as she remembered the time it had been taken. A reporter had come by Hogwarts to interview Harry on how his Firebolt had helped him catch the Snitch during 35 straight Quidditch matches. This was the only picture he had ever posed for gladly. The owl hooted as the boy grinned and waved at the two of them.
"We'll come back to him. Let's see who else there is in this book." She flipped to the front again and looked at the chapter. The section entitled Neville Longbottom - Determination & Fortitude caught her eye. All the pictures were strangely empty but Ginny enjoyed reading the information about this man whom she seemed to no longer understand. So many of the holes from the past four years were filling in now. She still had questions for Neville that she needed answered but now was not the time to think about them all.
Wondering over to the window, she could enjoy the sunshine. The back gardens were starting to take on shape as the overgrowth was beaten back by an indefinable number of sheep. It had been a surprise to look out the window the first time and see the white, woolly creatures eating away at the foliage - grass, trees, bushes. These weren't like the sheep that normally lined the hills. All of them were roughly the size of male hippos with hundreds of tiny claws on the bottom of their hooves that aerated the lawn as they walked over it. It was enjoyable to watch them go about their jobs but slightly scary when they took breaks by jumping over hedges or chasing each other over the smooth lawns.
Watching the strange creatures was doing little to keep her mind off the current problems that plagued her. The bright sunshine on the manicured grass reminded her of the park where Neville convinced her to come home and all the old insecurities and doubts rose to the surface once again. She chewed at her ragged fingernails and paced away from the window.
Neville's present was lying open to the very center when she walked by, Hedwig looking surprisingly nonchalant. Taking a closer look, she saw a new picture. A picture of Dumbledore's Army taken during a break in the fighting. The ragged group had smiled for the picture, claiming the Colin was making them stop ever fifteen minutes for a photo op as he covered the war for the Daily Prophet. It was odd to remember how much laughter and happiness they had all shared while dealing with the terror and bloodshed of war. Harming someone with a wand was really no different then using a Muggle weapon. Death still looked and smelled and felt the same.
It was amazing how she hadn't been haunted by thoughts of the war in the last four years. She didn't hear the screams of the wounded or smell the tang of the blood anymore. It had haunted her every night before she fled. Being near Harry had made it better. His death had erased all thoughts from her mind - all feelings from her heart. In a way, going numb had saved her.
"I have to find this girl again," she whispered, caressing her smudged face and flyaway curls. "I need that sense of adventure and fair play. I need her optimism. I want to smile and feel it in my heart. I want to love Neville without either of us feeling guilty."
Her eyes were dry but her heart was crying. Drained from the intense emotions she had felt over the last four days, and especially from today, Ginny curled on the couch and fell asleep as Hedwig softly brushed her cheeks with her wing.
***
Neville pounded his pillow into a new shape. It was only early evening but, having stayed up for the past 48 hours, he felt that he needed to at least attempt to sleep. Everyone had been giving him a wide berth at work lately. Between his haggard face and fierce temper, no one wanted to deal with him.
He didn't blame them. All he wanted to do was stare at the door in the room now dubbed "Ginny's Garden Parlor" by the portraits. It was a waste of time waiting for something to happen but Dumbledore had effectively kept him from running to Ginny. She was as effectively cloaked from Neville as if his wand had become a plastic fish.
When he wasn't brooding at the office or pacing the floors at home, he was trying not to dream. He knew that he needed sleep soon but every time he tried, he could see his mother the last time he had seen her alive. She had smiled at him in the vague way he had gone accustomed to over the years but something was different this time. There was a light in her eyes as she caressed his hand. When she spoke, he had physically jumped.
"Son." Her voice was low, hoarse from disuse. She hadn't said anything else and the light had gone out of her eyes as she slipped into a final unconsciousness.
When he had dreamed of this moment before, it had made him feel warm and loved. Now it made him feel empty, like something had been left undone.
"Why?" he groaned, flinging the blankets aside. "Why now? Why me?"
The sleeping drought was still in the cabinet from the last time he had used it. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't go that deep into oblivion again but he didn't have much choice. His secretary was liable to leave for good if he snapped at her again. Taking a swig from the bottle without aid of a spoon, he stared at the haggard man in the mirror before him. Was that a gray hair? The sudden blurring of the image reminded him that he needed to get back to bed before he ended up sleeping on the floor here in the loo.
The last thing he saw as he entered the bedroom was the pillow he had pummelled into submission just minutes earlier. He sincerely hoped he was close enough to the bed to land on it.