Title: Deus ex Machina
Author: Court ( burningvigoraol.com ) as Link, Rydia ( chichiriishothotmail.com ) as Sheik and about everyone else
Disclaimer: Legend of Zelda is not ours. The characters are not ours. The setting is not ours. We borrowed it to have some fun. We interpreted it in our own way. We make no money off of this so you can't sue us. Neither of us have any money anyway.
Summary: In the year following Ganondorf's defeat, a tentative peace has settled over Hyrule. Now the Goddesses are demanding one more thing from the Hero of Time, but at what cost?
Warning: AU (Sheik and Zelda are different people, and Navi was killed at the end of OoT since no one likes her anyway). Shounen ai/yaoi (YES that means there are GAY PEOPLE OMG NUU :P), Link/Sheik.
Important Note: This entire fanfic has been written in role-play format. That means that there are sections. Court writes one, then Rydia writes one, and so on and so forth. Things are REPEATED. Why? Because when we started, we didn't intend for this to be a fanfic. Now that we're finishing it, we love it to pieces and want to share it with the world. So. All the Link sections were written by Court, and all the Sheik sections were written by Rydia. And Rydia made the chapter titles because she's weird.
--
Chapter 6
In which Sheik receives some interesting news
Warning: This chapter is VERY intense and VERY angsty and you're all going to hurt us for ending it where we did. XD WE LOVE YOUUUU.
--
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
Our Lady Peace "Innocent"
--
Sleep was so nice... so wonderful. It made Link forget about it all, about everything else, all he had to worry about, which wasn't much compared to others, but... there was the world's fate in his hands, or at least partly in his hands, yet again, and that was enough to put a bit of stress on the poor seventeen year old boy. So sleep was an escape, where dreams were light-hearted, nightmares luckily not a problem... and it was loved, cherished. The only problem was, sleep was temporary.
He knew he needed to get up... there was some pressing matter that he needed to attend to. He let out an annoyed groan as he slowly started to awaken, the loud crowing of the roosters reminding him of the many times he had angered the farm animals and they had chased after him while he galloped away on Epona.
A smirk played upon his lips at that particular memory, and he just gave in and woke up after that, sitting up and putting a hand to his dizzying head a result of getting up too fast. "Urgh..." He blinked away the fairy dust from his eyes and then glanced around to find an empty room. Hmm... Sheik was probably off getting the supplies already.
Now was the moment of truth. He had to see if he could stand. Placing one of his hands against the wall for a bit of support, he slid both legs slowly, carefully off of the bed and placed them gingerly on the floor. Then he pressed his weight upon them as he pushed himself up, and was glad to see that luckily, though he was a bit shaky, he was standing perfectly fine. He blinked, rather proud of himself and astonished at how easy that had been, and with a grin, he exited the room and went out in search of Sheik.
--
Sheik had indeed been gathering the supplies Malon had packed for them the night before. Already dressed in his freshly cleaned normal outfit, complete with the bandages covering most of his hair, he was currently making his way back to the room he and Link had occupied with the supplies and Link's clean clothing. He didn't want to wake the other and so he was rather relieved to see Link peering out of the open door, presumably looking for him.
"Good morning," he said, inclining his head slightly towards Link. "Glad to see you on your feet again. Malon cleaned our clothes for us last night, and she's making us something to eat before we leave."
Such a speech wasn't completely rare for him, but as he hadn't been speaking much in general lately due to the weight on his mind, this seemed like a lot to him. He felt like he was babbling, even though everything he was sharing was likely something Link needed to know. And the anxiety in his tone was painfully apparent to him.. though it might not be for someone else listening to him speak. He couldn't tell. He just knew he was anxious, and he could tell in his own voice.
He hoped that he didn't sound too anxious to Link, though his posture was unnaturally stiff, even for him.
--
Link was glad he didn't have to look too far before finding Sheik, had just stepped out of the door when he was walking up to him. He wanted to spend as little time as possible on his feet... because he wasn't sure when he would run out of energy, when he wouldn't be able to stand anymore... and he didn't want to give everyone at the castle the wrong impression when he was practically falling over. They didn't need to know what Din had done. Then again... maybe it would be a better way of convincing them of her power, what she was capable of? If she could weaken the Hero of Time... yes, that might be a good idea, to bring that up. But only if Sheik agreed. He had seemed rather touchy about the subject, still thinking it was his fault.
"Good morning," he said in return, as politely as possible, but not in any sort of formal matter. "Yes, I'm feeling pretty good, but I don't want to stay on my feet for too long..." He nodded; he had expected as much from Malon. He saw that Sheik had his clothing in his arms, and took a few steps forward to relieve Sheik of them.
"Umm... I guess I'll go get changed. Where are we eating breakfast? I'll meet you there." Sheik seemed just as strange today as he had yesterday. Probably nervous about what they were about to go and do; Link knew he was. He had never felt comfortable around all the royalty and the guards in the palace... hell, he hardly felt good around the people in the town market. But he had to go there so often, to the market, that is, that he was beginning to get used to it.
He blinked owlishly at Sheik as he waited for the answer, and tried his best to suppress the butterflies in his stomach. He really wasn't looking forward to this.
--
Link seemed different, probably a bit nervous. Sheik knew that Link wasn't looking forward to going back to the castle, knew that Zelda made him nervous. And he felt badly that he was dragging Link there. But he wasn't even sure he could trust himself to go alone, without falling apart. At least when Link was there... his presence was soothing somehow, his carefree demeanor, his smile...
/Stop that before you start blushing./
Eh.. he bit the inside of his lip to bring himself back to the present. Link was waiting for him to answer. He swallowed tightly. "Uh.. there's a kitchen down the hall and to your left. That's where she's making breakfast," he said lamely.
Good Goddesses, he was messing up everything that morning. It was a combination of too little sleep and the anxiety building inside of him. He tried to calm himself down with the regular admonition of the feelings--if he was a true Sheikah, he wouldn't feel this. Then again, if he was a true Sheikah, he wouldn't have to worry about seeing them all again.
What if he messed up? What if she had said something? What if Din attacked them again? What if...
Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stop thinking these things. He was still feeling ill from the stress. Instead of going straight to the kitchen, he stopped in the bathroom and relieved the contents of his stomach there before continuing. It... didn't help much.
--
Link nodded, a light-hearted smile on his face as always, and then headed off into the room he had just exited to change out of these rather... revealing clothes. He had entirely forgotten how open-necked the tunic had been, and just now realized that he must have been showing off his chest like an exhibitionist out there in front of Sheik. He blushed heavily, and wondered slightly to himself /why/ he was doing so. Sheik was supposed to be his safe haven, remember? The one person that he didn't have to worry about the issue of love and such when he was around. The one that wasn't supposed to make him blush.
He sighed -- this was just plain stupid. He quickly changed back into his Kokiri tunic and then folded the other clothing neatly, preparing to give it to Malon once he saw her. He then walked out again, following the directions that Sheik had given, and entered the kitchen, to find that Sheik and Malon were both waiting for him.
He grinned sheepishly and paced over to where Malon was busy frying up some eggs, handing them over to her. With that done, he immediately headed for the table and sat down in an empty chair, doing his best to keep off his feet as much as possible. He folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them as he watched Sheik, who was standing against the wall, again. Why did he keep on looking at the Sheikah so intently? He had examined his fine features many times before... knew the curve of his back, every design of his clothing...
Why? Why did he pay so much more attention to him?
/Because he's my friend.../ he reminded himself roughly. After all, what else could it be?
--
The day started out to be as lovely as ever once again, as though the storms of the day previous had never happened. The only evidence of their ferocity was the puddles of still collected water in the grass and the occasional decimated bush and uprooted tree. The birds and other creatures littering the field were again present, though in a slightly smaller number, barely noticeable.
Link was already on Epona's back as Sheik let the horse from the ranch, nodding his thanks again to Malon, who was waving them off from the gates. Their supplies were strapped firmly against the back of Epona's saddle, and there was nothing else he could do to stall their journey to the castle.
Sheik somehow doubted even having Link pressed against his back was going to keep him preoccupied this time.
A flood of resentment for Din and Ganondorf and just about anyone else he didn't particularly like at the moment flooded through him, and he ignored it, grateful only that it was distracting him from that gaping pit in his stomach.
With a stifled sigh, he carefully mounted Epona, again in front of Link, and gathered the reigns. A cursory glance over his shoulder, and, "You ready?"
--
It was surprising that the field wasn't in a worse state, but the rain had probably let up a little while after Link had dozed off the previous night and given it time to recover a little. It was a curse and a blessing. As much as he didn't want to go, he knew that he had to, and it was better just to get it over with.
At least the food had been good. He functioned much better on a full stomach, and the big meal would give him enough energy to make it to the castle and still be able to function, or so he hoped. He was feeling nice and energized at the moment, so that was a good thing.
He hardly thought a thing of it as Sheik jumped up into the saddle in front of him, glad that he had complied this time since it would make for a much better time, and he gave a swift nod at his question. "Yep. Go ahead." He grinned brightly at him. At least the trip there would be nice in this sunny weather. It was what was to come after that that he was worried about.
Both hands slinked down to grab either side of the saddle tightly, remembering how Sheik had tensed when he had grabbed him the other day to use as leverage. Then again, if he went too fast, or the ride got a little bumpy, he might have to do so again. But for now, he would do his best to just use the saddle to hold on. He didn't want to make Sheik any more uncomfortable than they both already were.
--
At this point, Sheik likely wouldn't have really cared one way or the other if Link held on to him or not. He wasn't getting any tenser, he didn't think, and there were enough other things on his mind that his feelings for Link were the least of his problems.
He pressed the horse to go faster, suddenly just wanting to get there and get it over with. The anticipation of it was what was eating him, that was the problem. He'd been dwelling on it for too long, and it was starting to show. Link's touch might have actually been welcome at this point... somehow, worrying about how close Link was to him was much easier than worrying about what the Elders knew or didn't know.
Hell, he wasn't even sure of what it was. He just knew that what he felt was strong.. too strong. And it hurt. He'd never admit to himself that it was love, he hadn't said the word even to Impa when he'd confided in her. She had said it and he had immediately backed down....and even though he wouldn't admit it, he /knew/ it was true, deep down, locked away in the furthest recesses of his mind. A glance at the surface, he could convince himself it was something else. It was the guilt and the shame that accompanied it that told him.
He didn't know if he'd ever be able to suppress this feeling, this emotion. Which would make him inferior to the other Sheikahs... Emotions made one weaker. He knew this. He knew it from experience. Memories of the events in the Temple of Time as Zelda was kidnapped echoed painfully through his mind.
/I was watching /him/ rather than watching for trouble.. If I had been more focused.. If I hadn't been so enamored../
--
Hyrule Town Market.
It really seemed like it would be Link's type of place, very upbeat and cheerful, children running around chasing chickens and people dancing around trees rather... strangely. He always had to give a strange look in that direction. It was a shame that they didn't let Epona in here... yes, he was still feeling perfectly fine but for whatever reason he feared that that energy would be whisked away in a matter of seconds if he wasn't careful.
People waved at the familiar face that he presented, especially the younger children, and he of course, waved back and smiled. He also noticed the strange looks thrown in Sheik's direction, and sighed softly at this. They of course were wondering who would be in the Hero of Time's company, and he felt sorry that Sheik had to be exposed to this. He knew Sheik didn't like big crowds, and that was probably one of the many reasons he didn't come here often.
But it was necessary. They had a lot of stuff they needed to purchase here, after all. "Okay... first we need your... cowl." He winced as the unknown word came out of his mouth, and was quite aware that he sounded like an idiot. At least he had recalled the term that Sheik had used for it, and wasn't calling it 'cover thing' as he had been doing in his mind.
"My hat is less important. We'll look for that afterwards if we have time." He nodded briskly. "Now... where would they be selling one?" His eyes darted around the many shops vigorously.
--
The crowd was intimidating, and Sheik didn't like it. But it was necessary.. all of this was necessary. He'd already seen them in the crowd, watching. The entire Order would know he was here by the time they reached the castle gates.
Or.. what was left of the castle.
In the year since Ganondorf's defeat, the Hyrule castle had started being rebuilt, though with much debate on the location. Many thought it was sacrilegious to rebuild upon the foundations of the remains of Ganondorf's castle. After much debate, they finally grudgingly agreed that there wasn't a more practical place TO rebuild, and started there.
It was going to take much more than a year to complete, though. There was enough of it now to at least house the queen and her attendants, though, so she resided there now. And that's where they were heading.
After, of course, he had a new cowl.
"The kind isn't important. I just need a scarf to hide my face," he said softly, knowing Link could barely hear him, but not wanting to speak any louder. The looks he was getting from the other people, simply because he was walking with the Hero of Time, were making him more uncomfortable than he liked to admit.
/As if I weren't uncomfortable enough./
He decided it didn't really matter anyway, and began looking around. He spotted something that looked like they might have what he needed and pointed. "That looks promising.."
--
Well, the castle was looking better than the last time Link had been here. It had hardly been a few pieces of wood before, but now it was actually beginning to resemble some sort of building. Huzzah! Then again, it /had/ been a while since Link had tread foot here, but it was still a good amount to get down for that period of time. Then again, this was the main point of Hyrule. They must have tons of people sacrificing arm and leg to get the castle rebuilt quick. And knowing how needy Zelda was, she probably already had a nice room set up for herself, bathed in triforces and pink.
/Don't think like that, Link. She's the /queen/./
Yes, he really had to watch his mouth. If he let something like that slip, he'd quickly become as unpopular as he was popular at this moment. Already a few kids had run up to him, tugging on his tunic and asking him to play, meanwhile shooting curious looks at poor Sheik. At least they weren't glares, like some of the older people were giving. Link winced at some of the dirty looks he saw thrown in the Sheikah's direction, and quickly declined the kid's offers, now wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.
Luckily Sheik just then found a shop that would work, and so he quickly headed in that direction, wanting to get out of the crowd, all the looks that /Sheik/ was getting making /him/ uncomfortable. Because he knew it was his fault, and he knew how bad Sheik must have been feeling by now.
He walked into the shop and started to look around. However, even though Sheik said it didn't really matter, he wasn't sure he would pick something that would work and would much prefer if Sheik was the one that picked it out. And so he pretended to be looking properly, picking up bits of cloth and examining it, then placing it back down, looking over at Sheik every now and then and hoping he found something soon.
/I don't know if this could get any more uncomfortable.../ he thought with a sigh. And they weren't even in the castle yet. He squirmed at that discovery.
--
Sheik wasn't really entirely too concerned with the type of scarf they came back with, just so long as it adequately covered his face. Consequently, it didn't take him very long to find a suitable one for cheap. It looked much like his old one, white and inconspicuous and long enough to gather a little bit at the front when he tried it on. Fishing his remaining few rupees from his rupee sack, he found he had just enough for the new cowl, and paid for it.
He wrapped it around his neck until it stayed up suitably after paying the vendor, wondering why the comforting feeling that usually accompanied putting it on didn't seem to come to him this time around. Well, at least he could more studiously avoid strangers' stares with this on.
It still wasn't very comforting.
Link was right about the fact that the situation was uncomfortable. He exhaled slowly and bit his lower lip gently as they stepped away from the vendor's stand. He glanced over at Link, wondering if the other still wanted to look for a new hat or if he'd rather wait. At this point, Sheik would have liked nothing better than to get the entire encounter over with and then get out of Hyrule Castle Town..
..then again, if they were to actually unseal the Dark One, it'd probably involve him staying there until the deal was over. Unless Queen Zelda wanted to recruit other races to help in the battle that would ensue, which she probably would (though she also had good reason not to, for that matter). And even in that case, Link would be the most obvious representative.
Maybe he'd asked to be assigned to go with Link. If any particular race had a problem with him, like the Gerudos, he'd remain outside as not to offend them.
/Slow down. First you need to go to the palace./
Right. To the palace. His gaze lifted to the under-construction building.
"..did you want to look for your hat now or later?"
--
Link was relieved when Sheik found one that would do, and then waited outside as he paid for it, leaning against the front outside wall of the shop and glancing about the still bubbling marketplace. The kids noticed the somewhat wistful, far-off look on his face as he looked towards the sky, feeling the soft breeze -- so gentle compared to the fierce, brutal winds of the night before -- calmly stirring his hair.
He started as Sheik came out, now equipped with the new cowl. It was rather similar to the one he had originally had, and Link realized that he seemed a lot more Sheik-like with it on again. He smiled ruefully at him.
He shook his head at the question. "No, it's all right. I think it's better we just get to the castle now." True, no one else had seen him without the trusty green hat, but it wasn't like he had to have it. They would get used to him not having it on soon enough. Whereas if Sheik didn't have his cowl, it would have been considered /offensive/. No, his hat was no problem...
He shrugged lightly and then led his way through the rest of the market place towards the castle, doing his best to lift his jarred spirits by whistling to himself as he walked. Hopefully this would be painless...
--
So that was that. And off to the palace they were.
Sheik did feel a bit better with the cowl again comfortingly against his face. He had been without it for only two days, but he had felt like a different person without it. He knew that the scarves held more than ceremonial value in the Sheikah culture, that a younger, or less trained member was being given help in hiding their emotions. That was the idea, anyway. Those without the cowls were regarded as sophisticated enough to either feel nothing or hide their emotions just that well.
And he was back at the point where he was required to wear it again. Even if he had worn it for the time he wasn't required to, it was still a humiliating experience.
The fact that they had found it necessary to again require that he wear it...well, that was a little distressing. It seemed like something of a warning to him, as his err in the Temple of Time didn't /seem/ to have anything to do with emotions. They were watching him, suspecting him, waiting for him to break whatever taboo it was.
If they had been watching him before....
He shivered involuntarily, as the guard let them through the dilapidated castle gate. They were nearly there. Maybe he'd get off this time after all. Maybe they were just waiting for him to leave, seeing as he had an audience with the Queen. Maybe...
...or not.
Impa was standing directly in their path, her dark eyes focused on the approaching duo...no, focused on him. She didn't smile, but she never did, and he knew better than to look for a hint of what was to come in her face, because she had her usual unreadable mask in place.
He automatically dropped to his knee, bowing his head in respect to his superior. "Lady Impa," he said softly, not looking up. "It is good to see you well."
"Sheik," she said shortly. "The Order requests an audience with you." The way she said 'requests' made it perfectly clear it was no such thing.
"...as I expected," he replied, willing the sudden apprehension welling up inside him to go away.
"And Link," she was saying, as Sheik slowly stood, "I would love to stay and talk with you, but I must attend to the meeting with Sheik. I'm afraid it is an internal matter, and I cannot ask you to join us. Sheik? Come."
He couldn't find it in him to glance back at Link as they walked away.
--
Link examined the castle, still hardly worthy of such a title, as they walked past the guard who permitted them in, and was so interested in that that he hardly noticed that Impa was standing there... waiting for them. And so he almost jumped when he turned his head to see her, then straightening, making himself somewhat stiff. Impa demanded that sort of respect -- she was, after all, the personal guard for the queen Zelda herself. She was close enough to royalty that Link felt rather intimidated around her. It didn't help that she was also a Sheikah, and therefore a master at keeping her face entirely blank.
He peered over at Sheik as they walked towards her, noticed that he was just keeping his regular stony expression. He gave an irritated mental sigh -- he was surrounded by statues! He had a hard enough time reading emotions when they were freely visible on the countenance of those in his company -- how did they expect him to be able to infer anything when they were practically ReDead?
He was surprised to see Sheik fall to one knee so quickly, and almost felt like he was required to do the same. But no -- he was a Hylian, not a Sheikah. If anything, they served him. He hated to think that way, but that was how it went. Not to mention he'd never had to bow before her any other previous times... And he was the Hero of Time. The only person he might have to bow for was the queen herself.
An audience, huh? This didn't sound good. Even if her tone was rather bland, he knew that wasn't a good thing. And the hesitance in Sheik's response just further reinforced that point.
He froze as she spoke his name, glancing at her almost as if he had been accused of something. He then sighed in relief and shook his head. "Oh, no. I didn't expect I'd be allowed to go along. I suppose I'll wait until the two of you are finished, then." He gave Impa a half-smile and then just waved at Sheik as the two walked off. For some reason, however, something just wasn't right about the entire situation.
So what now? Maybe he should go back into town and search for that hat while he had the time to spare...
--
It was an hour and a half later when Sheik returned, alone, to the place where he had left Link. He wasn't surprised to see that Link was waiting for him, in a new hat, no less.. at least if he was, he certainly didn't think he could feel it anymore.
There were some notable differences in his appearance as well. The stole he normally wore bearing the crying eye symbol of the Sheikah was missing, and the newly obtained scarf was loose around his neck, no longer hiding his face.
He was taking an inordinately long time to get back to Link, feeling like he was being crushed under some relentless, unending burden. He was still numb from the encounter, numb from the sense of loss he could already feel tugging at the back of his mind. There were many emotions pushed back, just under the surface--guilt, pain, anger, betrayal... many other things he couldn't identify because he didn't want to think about them long enough to identify them.
As a result, he simply felt tired. Tired because he knew he was going to have to deal with all of this later, and it didn't bode well. Tired because Link would want to know what had happened, why he no longer bore the traditional Sheikah crest. Tired because he still had to present Din's demands to the queen. Tired because he seemed to have lost all sense of direction.
And so he trudged back on the path towards the castle, towards where Link was waiting for them, wishing he could just escape this damned place and be alone for a while. That's what he needed, some alone time. Not that he'd /get/ any in the near future...
This was just getting worse by the moment.
A sharp, but lone pang through his chest reminded him not to blame Din because it was the fault of the Hylians anyway... it was shaping up to be a long day, and it was barely noon.
--
Link was daydreaming. He had found his hat after quite a bit of searching around the town, an almost exact replica of his original, and was rather happy with it, the green article of clothing resting cheerfully on his head. He had then returned to where Impa had taken Sheik, and had been forced to wait. And wait. He had started pacing and just thinking about things, nothing very important, really... just whatever came to his mind.
But no matter how hard he tried to steer away from thoughts of Sheik, he always went back to that. Because he was worried about what was going to happen. It had been a /long/ time now. He had even had time to play with the kids (they'd bothered him to death about it, so he had just given in) AND to play some bombchu bowling. It was ridiculous.
And so his head was in the clouds as he walked back and forth, back and forth, arms folded over his chest and a contemplative look on his face. Eventually he noticed that there was another pair of footsteps besides his own, and stopped short, looking up to see that Sheik was back.
That was odd -- usually he couldn't hear Sheik's footsteps until he was right next to him. He was always so quiet with every action, unlike Link, who just about stumbled over his feet whenever he tried to go somewhere. It was as if Sheik had just stopped trying, didn't care anymore.
Then he noticed that his just newly acquired scarf was pulled down, and his outfit was missing a rather important mark -- the mark of the Sheikah. A hundred new questions bubbled in his head at this picture, but Sheik looked so exhausted that he couldn't bring himself to ask, and for once, Link extinguished his curiosity. "Hey," he said rather tonelessly, not trying to seem too happy.
From what he had gathered, when people were in bad moods, they didn't like it when the people around them were happy. It made them feel as if they were shoving their depression in their face, and so Link made a sincere effort not to be his usual self.
"I suppose we should be getting to the queen now..." he mused, looking forward towards the doors that stood before them, the ones that would lead into the queen's chambers. A shiver made its way up his back -- God, he didn't want to do this. Especially when he was so worried about his friend, but he didn't have the heart to ask what had happened. All he knew was that it couldn't be good.
--
It seemed that Link had indeed sensed his mood (though he found it in him to make no attempt to seem otherwise) and had chosen not to question it. That in itself was a load off of his shoulders. He was far from feeling better, but that this point... well, it wasn't as though he could really afford to be any worse.
No. He'd get past this part of it, and then....well, he didn't know what was going to happen come nightfall. He didn't care to think about it. He didn't want to think of the future at all. Because.. well, whatever he may have had before, that was all gone now.
But that would be contemplated at a later time. Right now, the task at hand was to inform the queen of the threat bearing down on Hyrule, like any good citizen would. ( /Not a bodyguard or protector.../ ) At Link's comment, his eyes turned to the framework of the castle, taking in the structure and the men gathered there working on it.
"Yes," he said quietly, almost surprised that he still had a voice.
/...not that it matters./ He had had no voice to defend himself in front of the Order. His words were nothing to them, and it didn't matter anyway because they had all been /right/. It had been his own fault.
...so focusing on the job at hand wasn't working. At least the feelings were still carefully tucked away under the intricately built Sheikah barrier he'd worked so many years to make. He still was largely numbed to the encounter, which was all the better to him, even if he knew that pushing aside this much emotion would inevitably grab his attention back later. But he'd deal with that hurdle when he came to it, and he'd just as soon get the encounter with the queen over anyway.
Out of habit and maybe a trace of shame toward the Sheikahs he knew would be in the throne room (maybe out of sight, but there, nonetheless), he found himself readjusting the now unnecessary cowl up over his nose and mouth as they walked toward the castle. Whatever slight reassurance it might have once given him was gone now, but that came as no real surprise.
--
It was a nice room they had given them. Then again, what else would they get? Link was the Hero of Time, and Sheik...
Link dared to glance over at the other blonde for a moment, but quickly turned away, as if doing so was a crime. It was obvious that he didn't want to be bothered, even spoken to. The audience hadn't been /that/ bad... Link had mainly stayed silent while Sheik explained the situation, and Zelda had just decided that she needed to sleep on the matters they had presented to her. So they were given a room for the night. One they had to share.
Usually this would have been quite the treat for Link, because any moment spent with Sheik was considered precious, but... at this point, he just felt uncomfortable. He didn't even feel good saying a few words to him, would cut himself off before he could say too much. He wanted to know, so /badly/, what had happened, what was wrong, but he couldn't ask. He just couldn't.
And so they were drowned in silence. Everlasting silence. With a mental sigh, he sat down at the edge of his bed and looked at the floor. It was still earlier in the day, dusk just now nearing, and there was no way he could get to sleep yet. So what would he do now? What could he busy himself with? He was tempted to look over at his comrade again, but stopped himself.
He was being ridiculous. Sheik wasn't the only form of entertainment he had. He could go and walk around town or-- but he didn't /want/ to do that.
/I want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say... how to start... no matter what, all I do will probably just hurt you more./ He bowed his head towards his chest further, and tried to sift through his questioning thoughts, though with hardly any luck.
--
They were sharing a room. Perfect.
Sheik was feeling particularly venomous as he stretched out on one of the beds and stared up at the ceiling. Venomous towards just about everything...everything except for Link. It wasn't /his/ fault he got mixed up in this stupid situation. Sheik couldn't have blamed him for it, no matter if it was his hair or his eyes or his personality or whatever the hell it was that Sheik couldn't get out of his head. Sheik /couldn't/ blame him even if he'd wanted to because it just wouldn't work that way in his mind.
It was rather pissing him off that Link refused to ask about it, though. He knew his actions made it completely obvious to the both of them that there was /something/ wrong. Hell, Zelda probably had figured out there was something amiss. Link probably figured it'd aggravate him further to ask, and he was probably right. But Sheik was feeling just a little bit lonely, and a voice of concern would have been nice regardless of whether or not it ended up pissing him off more.
A sigh escaped his lips and the anger he'd felt directed at Link faded as he did so. Link was doing exactly what Sheik would have normally wanted him to: ignoring him when he had something on his mind. He was never that good at talking, and had never really ever talked about something on his mind, so he'd always preferred to keep things to himself. He supposed though that Link would have to find out sometime, especially if they were to face this upcoming threat together.
But it didn't /matter/ anymore. None of it mattered. Nothing seemed to matter. This whole thing was stupid, just him being silly and whimsical. He was getting what he deserved. He'd disgraced the Sheikahs, so they'd disgraced him. He probably disgraced Link too. Heaven knew the Hero of Time deserved everything that /could/ be offered.
/He'd probably be better off without me along for this anyway,/ he thought threateningly at the ceiling. /He'd be better off if I just slipped out of his life as quickly as I slipped in./
And for a moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to just...get away. Forever. He had his knives with him, he could--
For a long moment, he stared up at the ceiling, his mind reeling at the magnitude of what he'd just thought. And then, he remembered....
...that nothing mattered anyway.
--
No. Link couldn't deal with this anymore. This awkward silence, just staring at the ground, wondering what was wrong but knowing he couldn't ask... he could never ask because he knew that would just make it worse, and that was the last thing he wanted happening.
He needed to get out of there.
He stood up shakily, feeling his head spin from getting up too fast. He placed his hand against the bed as he steadied himself, and then, with a deep breath, turned to where Sheik was laying. "I'm gonna go walk around..." he told him, not really sure what he'd end up doing yet, and decided that that was a vague enough statement to do.
He just wished he could help him somehow... but how could he? He didn't even know what was wrong, and... well, he was the last person that knew a thing about emotions... How would he know what was the right thing to say, to do? It was simple -- he didn't.
/And so you're just running away from it?/
/Shut up./
He raised a hand to wave goodbye and then left the room. Little did he know that that goodbye might be a bit more meaningful than it should have been. It might be the last time he spoke a word to the Sheikah... or ex-Sheikah, if you will.
Where would he go now? Maybe he'd find Impa, talk to her about it... she said she had wanted to speak to him earlier. She might be able to clue him in... Zelda was a no-no... the town might be the best place for him to get his mind off of things, even if he didn't want to admit it...
--
It took Sheik a long time to move once the door made that clicking sound signifying that it was shut, and that he was alone. Maybe it was ten minutes. Maybe it was an hour. He didn't know. It didn't matter.
He might have felt bad that he hadn't even acknowledged Link's departure if he still felt that he was capable of feeling anything but bitter anger. Or rather, acknowledging anything aside from that anger. It was there, after all, but only the anger seemed to be getting through.
He was shaking slightly when he finally sat up, retrieving one of his carefully concealed knives, always kept at full sharpness. The Order had somehow trusted him far enough not to disarm him when he'd appeared before them. Then, in a room full of Sheikahs, he'd be dead before he finished reaching for his knife, so perhaps it wasn't so much trust as it was hoping he /would/ be so foolish.
He kind of wished he had been. Slitting one's own wrists was supposed to be a painful process. But.. that didn't really matter either.
Unwrapping the bandages from his left arm, he carefully exposed his wrist and lower arm. The idea of a note flashed through his mind, but he decided it was too presumptuous to even assume anyone cared.
One slash was never enough. It didn't even hurt when he made the first cut, or the second, parallel to the first, directly underneath the first. The blood welled slowly up through the precise incisions, trickling to the side and dripping down on to the floor. He thought absently that it'd be hard to clean something like that up, but it was too late now. The next cut was vertical, making something resembling a cross. That was the one that would be lethal, lining with the veins up his arm.
It should have hurt, but he didn't know if it could hurt anymore than it already did anyway.
-----
Author's Notes
Court: As I recall, this is the beginning of when everything starts to go to hell and the angst just ESCALATES. But you should like this. Because angst means fluff means them getting together eventually. XD IT WILL HAPPEN, I PROMISE. Um. Yes. I'm sure you hate us.
Rydia: Have I mentioned lately that cliffhangers are FUN? I suppose we'll get eaten if we don't update soon...
Also, this is particularly for a review by "Neo", but in general too. Deus ex Machina did not originate in the Matrix. Oo; It's actually a Greek phrase, translating to "God in the Machine", and originated in ancient Greece where it referred to the mechanical device that the people playing gods and goddesses would ride in to make them descend from "heaven". Because in Greek plays, a common theme is for the people on earth to screw up their lives and have a god come down at the end of the play and fix things, today a deus ex machina refers to when someone calls on a deity only when their lives suck and they want god to fix it. There's a good reason this fic is called Deus ex Machina, but that doesn't come into play until the end.
--
Stay tuned for Chapter 7 : In which Link saves the day!
Author: Court ( burningvigoraol.com ) as Link, Rydia ( chichiriishothotmail.com ) as Sheik and about everyone else
Disclaimer: Legend of Zelda is not ours. The characters are not ours. The setting is not ours. We borrowed it to have some fun. We interpreted it in our own way. We make no money off of this so you can't sue us. Neither of us have any money anyway.
Summary: In the year following Ganondorf's defeat, a tentative peace has settled over Hyrule. Now the Goddesses are demanding one more thing from the Hero of Time, but at what cost?
Warning: AU (Sheik and Zelda are different people, and Navi was killed at the end of OoT since no one likes her anyway). Shounen ai/yaoi (YES that means there are GAY PEOPLE OMG NUU :P), Link/Sheik.
Important Note: This entire fanfic has been written in role-play format. That means that there are sections. Court writes one, then Rydia writes one, and so on and so forth. Things are REPEATED. Why? Because when we started, we didn't intend for this to be a fanfic. Now that we're finishing it, we love it to pieces and want to share it with the world. So. All the Link sections were written by Court, and all the Sheik sections were written by Rydia. And Rydia made the chapter titles because she's weird.
--
Chapter 6
In which Sheik receives some interesting news
Warning: This chapter is VERY intense and VERY angsty and you're all going to hurt us for ending it where we did. XD WE LOVE YOUUUU.
--
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
Our Lady Peace "Innocent"
--
Sleep was so nice... so wonderful. It made Link forget about it all, about everything else, all he had to worry about, which wasn't much compared to others, but... there was the world's fate in his hands, or at least partly in his hands, yet again, and that was enough to put a bit of stress on the poor seventeen year old boy. So sleep was an escape, where dreams were light-hearted, nightmares luckily not a problem... and it was loved, cherished. The only problem was, sleep was temporary.
He knew he needed to get up... there was some pressing matter that he needed to attend to. He let out an annoyed groan as he slowly started to awaken, the loud crowing of the roosters reminding him of the many times he had angered the farm animals and they had chased after him while he galloped away on Epona.
A smirk played upon his lips at that particular memory, and he just gave in and woke up after that, sitting up and putting a hand to his dizzying head a result of getting up too fast. "Urgh..." He blinked away the fairy dust from his eyes and then glanced around to find an empty room. Hmm... Sheik was probably off getting the supplies already.
Now was the moment of truth. He had to see if he could stand. Placing one of his hands against the wall for a bit of support, he slid both legs slowly, carefully off of the bed and placed them gingerly on the floor. Then he pressed his weight upon them as he pushed himself up, and was glad to see that luckily, though he was a bit shaky, he was standing perfectly fine. He blinked, rather proud of himself and astonished at how easy that had been, and with a grin, he exited the room and went out in search of Sheik.
--
Sheik had indeed been gathering the supplies Malon had packed for them the night before. Already dressed in his freshly cleaned normal outfit, complete with the bandages covering most of his hair, he was currently making his way back to the room he and Link had occupied with the supplies and Link's clean clothing. He didn't want to wake the other and so he was rather relieved to see Link peering out of the open door, presumably looking for him.
"Good morning," he said, inclining his head slightly towards Link. "Glad to see you on your feet again. Malon cleaned our clothes for us last night, and she's making us something to eat before we leave."
Such a speech wasn't completely rare for him, but as he hadn't been speaking much in general lately due to the weight on his mind, this seemed like a lot to him. He felt like he was babbling, even though everything he was sharing was likely something Link needed to know. And the anxiety in his tone was painfully apparent to him.. though it might not be for someone else listening to him speak. He couldn't tell. He just knew he was anxious, and he could tell in his own voice.
He hoped that he didn't sound too anxious to Link, though his posture was unnaturally stiff, even for him.
--
Link was glad he didn't have to look too far before finding Sheik, had just stepped out of the door when he was walking up to him. He wanted to spend as little time as possible on his feet... because he wasn't sure when he would run out of energy, when he wouldn't be able to stand anymore... and he didn't want to give everyone at the castle the wrong impression when he was practically falling over. They didn't need to know what Din had done. Then again... maybe it would be a better way of convincing them of her power, what she was capable of? If she could weaken the Hero of Time... yes, that might be a good idea, to bring that up. But only if Sheik agreed. He had seemed rather touchy about the subject, still thinking it was his fault.
"Good morning," he said in return, as politely as possible, but not in any sort of formal matter. "Yes, I'm feeling pretty good, but I don't want to stay on my feet for too long..." He nodded; he had expected as much from Malon. He saw that Sheik had his clothing in his arms, and took a few steps forward to relieve Sheik of them.
"Umm... I guess I'll go get changed. Where are we eating breakfast? I'll meet you there." Sheik seemed just as strange today as he had yesterday. Probably nervous about what they were about to go and do; Link knew he was. He had never felt comfortable around all the royalty and the guards in the palace... hell, he hardly felt good around the people in the town market. But he had to go there so often, to the market, that is, that he was beginning to get used to it.
He blinked owlishly at Sheik as he waited for the answer, and tried his best to suppress the butterflies in his stomach. He really wasn't looking forward to this.
--
Link seemed different, probably a bit nervous. Sheik knew that Link wasn't looking forward to going back to the castle, knew that Zelda made him nervous. And he felt badly that he was dragging Link there. But he wasn't even sure he could trust himself to go alone, without falling apart. At least when Link was there... his presence was soothing somehow, his carefree demeanor, his smile...
/Stop that before you start blushing./
Eh.. he bit the inside of his lip to bring himself back to the present. Link was waiting for him to answer. He swallowed tightly. "Uh.. there's a kitchen down the hall and to your left. That's where she's making breakfast," he said lamely.
Good Goddesses, he was messing up everything that morning. It was a combination of too little sleep and the anxiety building inside of him. He tried to calm himself down with the regular admonition of the feelings--if he was a true Sheikah, he wouldn't feel this. Then again, if he was a true Sheikah, he wouldn't have to worry about seeing them all again.
What if he messed up? What if she had said something? What if Din attacked them again? What if...
Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stop thinking these things. He was still feeling ill from the stress. Instead of going straight to the kitchen, he stopped in the bathroom and relieved the contents of his stomach there before continuing. It... didn't help much.
--
Link nodded, a light-hearted smile on his face as always, and then headed off into the room he had just exited to change out of these rather... revealing clothes. He had entirely forgotten how open-necked the tunic had been, and just now realized that he must have been showing off his chest like an exhibitionist out there in front of Sheik. He blushed heavily, and wondered slightly to himself /why/ he was doing so. Sheik was supposed to be his safe haven, remember? The one person that he didn't have to worry about the issue of love and such when he was around. The one that wasn't supposed to make him blush.
He sighed -- this was just plain stupid. He quickly changed back into his Kokiri tunic and then folded the other clothing neatly, preparing to give it to Malon once he saw her. He then walked out again, following the directions that Sheik had given, and entered the kitchen, to find that Sheik and Malon were both waiting for him.
He grinned sheepishly and paced over to where Malon was busy frying up some eggs, handing them over to her. With that done, he immediately headed for the table and sat down in an empty chair, doing his best to keep off his feet as much as possible. He folded his arms on the table and rested his head on them as he watched Sheik, who was standing against the wall, again. Why did he keep on looking at the Sheikah so intently? He had examined his fine features many times before... knew the curve of his back, every design of his clothing...
Why? Why did he pay so much more attention to him?
/Because he's my friend.../ he reminded himself roughly. After all, what else could it be?
--
The day started out to be as lovely as ever once again, as though the storms of the day previous had never happened. The only evidence of their ferocity was the puddles of still collected water in the grass and the occasional decimated bush and uprooted tree. The birds and other creatures littering the field were again present, though in a slightly smaller number, barely noticeable.
Link was already on Epona's back as Sheik let the horse from the ranch, nodding his thanks again to Malon, who was waving them off from the gates. Their supplies were strapped firmly against the back of Epona's saddle, and there was nothing else he could do to stall their journey to the castle.
Sheik somehow doubted even having Link pressed against his back was going to keep him preoccupied this time.
A flood of resentment for Din and Ganondorf and just about anyone else he didn't particularly like at the moment flooded through him, and he ignored it, grateful only that it was distracting him from that gaping pit in his stomach.
With a stifled sigh, he carefully mounted Epona, again in front of Link, and gathered the reigns. A cursory glance over his shoulder, and, "You ready?"
--
It was surprising that the field wasn't in a worse state, but the rain had probably let up a little while after Link had dozed off the previous night and given it time to recover a little. It was a curse and a blessing. As much as he didn't want to go, he knew that he had to, and it was better just to get it over with.
At least the food had been good. He functioned much better on a full stomach, and the big meal would give him enough energy to make it to the castle and still be able to function, or so he hoped. He was feeling nice and energized at the moment, so that was a good thing.
He hardly thought a thing of it as Sheik jumped up into the saddle in front of him, glad that he had complied this time since it would make for a much better time, and he gave a swift nod at his question. "Yep. Go ahead." He grinned brightly at him. At least the trip there would be nice in this sunny weather. It was what was to come after that that he was worried about.
Both hands slinked down to grab either side of the saddle tightly, remembering how Sheik had tensed when he had grabbed him the other day to use as leverage. Then again, if he went too fast, or the ride got a little bumpy, he might have to do so again. But for now, he would do his best to just use the saddle to hold on. He didn't want to make Sheik any more uncomfortable than they both already were.
--
At this point, Sheik likely wouldn't have really cared one way or the other if Link held on to him or not. He wasn't getting any tenser, he didn't think, and there were enough other things on his mind that his feelings for Link were the least of his problems.
He pressed the horse to go faster, suddenly just wanting to get there and get it over with. The anticipation of it was what was eating him, that was the problem. He'd been dwelling on it for too long, and it was starting to show. Link's touch might have actually been welcome at this point... somehow, worrying about how close Link was to him was much easier than worrying about what the Elders knew or didn't know.
Hell, he wasn't even sure of what it was. He just knew that what he felt was strong.. too strong. And it hurt. He'd never admit to himself that it was love, he hadn't said the word even to Impa when he'd confided in her. She had said it and he had immediately backed down....and even though he wouldn't admit it, he /knew/ it was true, deep down, locked away in the furthest recesses of his mind. A glance at the surface, he could convince himself it was something else. It was the guilt and the shame that accompanied it that told him.
He didn't know if he'd ever be able to suppress this feeling, this emotion. Which would make him inferior to the other Sheikahs... Emotions made one weaker. He knew this. He knew it from experience. Memories of the events in the Temple of Time as Zelda was kidnapped echoed painfully through his mind.
/I was watching /him/ rather than watching for trouble.. If I had been more focused.. If I hadn't been so enamored../
--
Hyrule Town Market.
It really seemed like it would be Link's type of place, very upbeat and cheerful, children running around chasing chickens and people dancing around trees rather... strangely. He always had to give a strange look in that direction. It was a shame that they didn't let Epona in here... yes, he was still feeling perfectly fine but for whatever reason he feared that that energy would be whisked away in a matter of seconds if he wasn't careful.
People waved at the familiar face that he presented, especially the younger children, and he of course, waved back and smiled. He also noticed the strange looks thrown in Sheik's direction, and sighed softly at this. They of course were wondering who would be in the Hero of Time's company, and he felt sorry that Sheik had to be exposed to this. He knew Sheik didn't like big crowds, and that was probably one of the many reasons he didn't come here often.
But it was necessary. They had a lot of stuff they needed to purchase here, after all. "Okay... first we need your... cowl." He winced as the unknown word came out of his mouth, and was quite aware that he sounded like an idiot. At least he had recalled the term that Sheik had used for it, and wasn't calling it 'cover thing' as he had been doing in his mind.
"My hat is less important. We'll look for that afterwards if we have time." He nodded briskly. "Now... where would they be selling one?" His eyes darted around the many shops vigorously.
--
The crowd was intimidating, and Sheik didn't like it. But it was necessary.. all of this was necessary. He'd already seen them in the crowd, watching. The entire Order would know he was here by the time they reached the castle gates.
Or.. what was left of the castle.
In the year since Ganondorf's defeat, the Hyrule castle had started being rebuilt, though with much debate on the location. Many thought it was sacrilegious to rebuild upon the foundations of the remains of Ganondorf's castle. After much debate, they finally grudgingly agreed that there wasn't a more practical place TO rebuild, and started there.
It was going to take much more than a year to complete, though. There was enough of it now to at least house the queen and her attendants, though, so she resided there now. And that's where they were heading.
After, of course, he had a new cowl.
"The kind isn't important. I just need a scarf to hide my face," he said softly, knowing Link could barely hear him, but not wanting to speak any louder. The looks he was getting from the other people, simply because he was walking with the Hero of Time, were making him more uncomfortable than he liked to admit.
/As if I weren't uncomfortable enough./
He decided it didn't really matter anyway, and began looking around. He spotted something that looked like they might have what he needed and pointed. "That looks promising.."
--
Well, the castle was looking better than the last time Link had been here. It had hardly been a few pieces of wood before, but now it was actually beginning to resemble some sort of building. Huzzah! Then again, it /had/ been a while since Link had tread foot here, but it was still a good amount to get down for that period of time. Then again, this was the main point of Hyrule. They must have tons of people sacrificing arm and leg to get the castle rebuilt quick. And knowing how needy Zelda was, she probably already had a nice room set up for herself, bathed in triforces and pink.
/Don't think like that, Link. She's the /queen/./
Yes, he really had to watch his mouth. If he let something like that slip, he'd quickly become as unpopular as he was popular at this moment. Already a few kids had run up to him, tugging on his tunic and asking him to play, meanwhile shooting curious looks at poor Sheik. At least they weren't glares, like some of the older people were giving. Link winced at some of the dirty looks he saw thrown in the Sheikah's direction, and quickly declined the kid's offers, now wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.
Luckily Sheik just then found a shop that would work, and so he quickly headed in that direction, wanting to get out of the crowd, all the looks that /Sheik/ was getting making /him/ uncomfortable. Because he knew it was his fault, and he knew how bad Sheik must have been feeling by now.
He walked into the shop and started to look around. However, even though Sheik said it didn't really matter, he wasn't sure he would pick something that would work and would much prefer if Sheik was the one that picked it out. And so he pretended to be looking properly, picking up bits of cloth and examining it, then placing it back down, looking over at Sheik every now and then and hoping he found something soon.
/I don't know if this could get any more uncomfortable.../ he thought with a sigh. And they weren't even in the castle yet. He squirmed at that discovery.
--
Sheik wasn't really entirely too concerned with the type of scarf they came back with, just so long as it adequately covered his face. Consequently, it didn't take him very long to find a suitable one for cheap. It looked much like his old one, white and inconspicuous and long enough to gather a little bit at the front when he tried it on. Fishing his remaining few rupees from his rupee sack, he found he had just enough for the new cowl, and paid for it.
He wrapped it around his neck until it stayed up suitably after paying the vendor, wondering why the comforting feeling that usually accompanied putting it on didn't seem to come to him this time around. Well, at least he could more studiously avoid strangers' stares with this on.
It still wasn't very comforting.
Link was right about the fact that the situation was uncomfortable. He exhaled slowly and bit his lower lip gently as they stepped away from the vendor's stand. He glanced over at Link, wondering if the other still wanted to look for a new hat or if he'd rather wait. At this point, Sheik would have liked nothing better than to get the entire encounter over with and then get out of Hyrule Castle Town..
..then again, if they were to actually unseal the Dark One, it'd probably involve him staying there until the deal was over. Unless Queen Zelda wanted to recruit other races to help in the battle that would ensue, which she probably would (though she also had good reason not to, for that matter). And even in that case, Link would be the most obvious representative.
Maybe he'd asked to be assigned to go with Link. If any particular race had a problem with him, like the Gerudos, he'd remain outside as not to offend them.
/Slow down. First you need to go to the palace./
Right. To the palace. His gaze lifted to the under-construction building.
"..did you want to look for your hat now or later?"
--
Link was relieved when Sheik found one that would do, and then waited outside as he paid for it, leaning against the front outside wall of the shop and glancing about the still bubbling marketplace. The kids noticed the somewhat wistful, far-off look on his face as he looked towards the sky, feeling the soft breeze -- so gentle compared to the fierce, brutal winds of the night before -- calmly stirring his hair.
He started as Sheik came out, now equipped with the new cowl. It was rather similar to the one he had originally had, and Link realized that he seemed a lot more Sheik-like with it on again. He smiled ruefully at him.
He shook his head at the question. "No, it's all right. I think it's better we just get to the castle now." True, no one else had seen him without the trusty green hat, but it wasn't like he had to have it. They would get used to him not having it on soon enough. Whereas if Sheik didn't have his cowl, it would have been considered /offensive/. No, his hat was no problem...
He shrugged lightly and then led his way through the rest of the market place towards the castle, doing his best to lift his jarred spirits by whistling to himself as he walked. Hopefully this would be painless...
--
So that was that. And off to the palace they were.
Sheik did feel a bit better with the cowl again comfortingly against his face. He had been without it for only two days, but he had felt like a different person without it. He knew that the scarves held more than ceremonial value in the Sheikah culture, that a younger, or less trained member was being given help in hiding their emotions. That was the idea, anyway. Those without the cowls were regarded as sophisticated enough to either feel nothing or hide their emotions just that well.
And he was back at the point where he was required to wear it again. Even if he had worn it for the time he wasn't required to, it was still a humiliating experience.
The fact that they had found it necessary to again require that he wear it...well, that was a little distressing. It seemed like something of a warning to him, as his err in the Temple of Time didn't /seem/ to have anything to do with emotions. They were watching him, suspecting him, waiting for him to break whatever taboo it was.
If they had been watching him before....
He shivered involuntarily, as the guard let them through the dilapidated castle gate. They were nearly there. Maybe he'd get off this time after all. Maybe they were just waiting for him to leave, seeing as he had an audience with the Queen. Maybe...
...or not.
Impa was standing directly in their path, her dark eyes focused on the approaching duo...no, focused on him. She didn't smile, but she never did, and he knew better than to look for a hint of what was to come in her face, because she had her usual unreadable mask in place.
He automatically dropped to his knee, bowing his head in respect to his superior. "Lady Impa," he said softly, not looking up. "It is good to see you well."
"Sheik," she said shortly. "The Order requests an audience with you." The way she said 'requests' made it perfectly clear it was no such thing.
"...as I expected," he replied, willing the sudden apprehension welling up inside him to go away.
"And Link," she was saying, as Sheik slowly stood, "I would love to stay and talk with you, but I must attend to the meeting with Sheik. I'm afraid it is an internal matter, and I cannot ask you to join us. Sheik? Come."
He couldn't find it in him to glance back at Link as they walked away.
--
Link examined the castle, still hardly worthy of such a title, as they walked past the guard who permitted them in, and was so interested in that that he hardly noticed that Impa was standing there... waiting for them. And so he almost jumped when he turned his head to see her, then straightening, making himself somewhat stiff. Impa demanded that sort of respect -- she was, after all, the personal guard for the queen Zelda herself. She was close enough to royalty that Link felt rather intimidated around her. It didn't help that she was also a Sheikah, and therefore a master at keeping her face entirely blank.
He peered over at Sheik as they walked towards her, noticed that he was just keeping his regular stony expression. He gave an irritated mental sigh -- he was surrounded by statues! He had a hard enough time reading emotions when they were freely visible on the countenance of those in his company -- how did they expect him to be able to infer anything when they were practically ReDead?
He was surprised to see Sheik fall to one knee so quickly, and almost felt like he was required to do the same. But no -- he was a Hylian, not a Sheikah. If anything, they served him. He hated to think that way, but that was how it went. Not to mention he'd never had to bow before her any other previous times... And he was the Hero of Time. The only person he might have to bow for was the queen herself.
An audience, huh? This didn't sound good. Even if her tone was rather bland, he knew that wasn't a good thing. And the hesitance in Sheik's response just further reinforced that point.
He froze as she spoke his name, glancing at her almost as if he had been accused of something. He then sighed in relief and shook his head. "Oh, no. I didn't expect I'd be allowed to go along. I suppose I'll wait until the two of you are finished, then." He gave Impa a half-smile and then just waved at Sheik as the two walked off. For some reason, however, something just wasn't right about the entire situation.
So what now? Maybe he should go back into town and search for that hat while he had the time to spare...
--
It was an hour and a half later when Sheik returned, alone, to the place where he had left Link. He wasn't surprised to see that Link was waiting for him, in a new hat, no less.. at least if he was, he certainly didn't think he could feel it anymore.
There were some notable differences in his appearance as well. The stole he normally wore bearing the crying eye symbol of the Sheikah was missing, and the newly obtained scarf was loose around his neck, no longer hiding his face.
He was taking an inordinately long time to get back to Link, feeling like he was being crushed under some relentless, unending burden. He was still numb from the encounter, numb from the sense of loss he could already feel tugging at the back of his mind. There were many emotions pushed back, just under the surface--guilt, pain, anger, betrayal... many other things he couldn't identify because he didn't want to think about them long enough to identify them.
As a result, he simply felt tired. Tired because he knew he was going to have to deal with all of this later, and it didn't bode well. Tired because Link would want to know what had happened, why he no longer bore the traditional Sheikah crest. Tired because he still had to present Din's demands to the queen. Tired because he seemed to have lost all sense of direction.
And so he trudged back on the path towards the castle, towards where Link was waiting for them, wishing he could just escape this damned place and be alone for a while. That's what he needed, some alone time. Not that he'd /get/ any in the near future...
This was just getting worse by the moment.
A sharp, but lone pang through his chest reminded him not to blame Din because it was the fault of the Hylians anyway... it was shaping up to be a long day, and it was barely noon.
--
Link was daydreaming. He had found his hat after quite a bit of searching around the town, an almost exact replica of his original, and was rather happy with it, the green article of clothing resting cheerfully on his head. He had then returned to where Impa had taken Sheik, and had been forced to wait. And wait. He had started pacing and just thinking about things, nothing very important, really... just whatever came to his mind.
But no matter how hard he tried to steer away from thoughts of Sheik, he always went back to that. Because he was worried about what was going to happen. It had been a /long/ time now. He had even had time to play with the kids (they'd bothered him to death about it, so he had just given in) AND to play some bombchu bowling. It was ridiculous.
And so his head was in the clouds as he walked back and forth, back and forth, arms folded over his chest and a contemplative look on his face. Eventually he noticed that there was another pair of footsteps besides his own, and stopped short, looking up to see that Sheik was back.
That was odd -- usually he couldn't hear Sheik's footsteps until he was right next to him. He was always so quiet with every action, unlike Link, who just about stumbled over his feet whenever he tried to go somewhere. It was as if Sheik had just stopped trying, didn't care anymore.
Then he noticed that his just newly acquired scarf was pulled down, and his outfit was missing a rather important mark -- the mark of the Sheikah. A hundred new questions bubbled in his head at this picture, but Sheik looked so exhausted that he couldn't bring himself to ask, and for once, Link extinguished his curiosity. "Hey," he said rather tonelessly, not trying to seem too happy.
From what he had gathered, when people were in bad moods, they didn't like it when the people around them were happy. It made them feel as if they were shoving their depression in their face, and so Link made a sincere effort not to be his usual self.
"I suppose we should be getting to the queen now..." he mused, looking forward towards the doors that stood before them, the ones that would lead into the queen's chambers. A shiver made its way up his back -- God, he didn't want to do this. Especially when he was so worried about his friend, but he didn't have the heart to ask what had happened. All he knew was that it couldn't be good.
--
It seemed that Link had indeed sensed his mood (though he found it in him to make no attempt to seem otherwise) and had chosen not to question it. That in itself was a load off of his shoulders. He was far from feeling better, but that this point... well, it wasn't as though he could really afford to be any worse.
No. He'd get past this part of it, and then....well, he didn't know what was going to happen come nightfall. He didn't care to think about it. He didn't want to think of the future at all. Because.. well, whatever he may have had before, that was all gone now.
But that would be contemplated at a later time. Right now, the task at hand was to inform the queen of the threat bearing down on Hyrule, like any good citizen would. ( /Not a bodyguard or protector.../ ) At Link's comment, his eyes turned to the framework of the castle, taking in the structure and the men gathered there working on it.
"Yes," he said quietly, almost surprised that he still had a voice.
/...not that it matters./ He had had no voice to defend himself in front of the Order. His words were nothing to them, and it didn't matter anyway because they had all been /right/. It had been his own fault.
...so focusing on the job at hand wasn't working. At least the feelings were still carefully tucked away under the intricately built Sheikah barrier he'd worked so many years to make. He still was largely numbed to the encounter, which was all the better to him, even if he knew that pushing aside this much emotion would inevitably grab his attention back later. But he'd deal with that hurdle when he came to it, and he'd just as soon get the encounter with the queen over anyway.
Out of habit and maybe a trace of shame toward the Sheikahs he knew would be in the throne room (maybe out of sight, but there, nonetheless), he found himself readjusting the now unnecessary cowl up over his nose and mouth as they walked toward the castle. Whatever slight reassurance it might have once given him was gone now, but that came as no real surprise.
--
It was a nice room they had given them. Then again, what else would they get? Link was the Hero of Time, and Sheik...
Link dared to glance over at the other blonde for a moment, but quickly turned away, as if doing so was a crime. It was obvious that he didn't want to be bothered, even spoken to. The audience hadn't been /that/ bad... Link had mainly stayed silent while Sheik explained the situation, and Zelda had just decided that she needed to sleep on the matters they had presented to her. So they were given a room for the night. One they had to share.
Usually this would have been quite the treat for Link, because any moment spent with Sheik was considered precious, but... at this point, he just felt uncomfortable. He didn't even feel good saying a few words to him, would cut himself off before he could say too much. He wanted to know, so /badly/, what had happened, what was wrong, but he couldn't ask. He just couldn't.
And so they were drowned in silence. Everlasting silence. With a mental sigh, he sat down at the edge of his bed and looked at the floor. It was still earlier in the day, dusk just now nearing, and there was no way he could get to sleep yet. So what would he do now? What could he busy himself with? He was tempted to look over at his comrade again, but stopped himself.
He was being ridiculous. Sheik wasn't the only form of entertainment he had. He could go and walk around town or-- but he didn't /want/ to do that.
/I want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say... how to start... no matter what, all I do will probably just hurt you more./ He bowed his head towards his chest further, and tried to sift through his questioning thoughts, though with hardly any luck.
--
They were sharing a room. Perfect.
Sheik was feeling particularly venomous as he stretched out on one of the beds and stared up at the ceiling. Venomous towards just about everything...everything except for Link. It wasn't /his/ fault he got mixed up in this stupid situation. Sheik couldn't have blamed him for it, no matter if it was his hair or his eyes or his personality or whatever the hell it was that Sheik couldn't get out of his head. Sheik /couldn't/ blame him even if he'd wanted to because it just wouldn't work that way in his mind.
It was rather pissing him off that Link refused to ask about it, though. He knew his actions made it completely obvious to the both of them that there was /something/ wrong. Hell, Zelda probably had figured out there was something amiss. Link probably figured it'd aggravate him further to ask, and he was probably right. But Sheik was feeling just a little bit lonely, and a voice of concern would have been nice regardless of whether or not it ended up pissing him off more.
A sigh escaped his lips and the anger he'd felt directed at Link faded as he did so. Link was doing exactly what Sheik would have normally wanted him to: ignoring him when he had something on his mind. He was never that good at talking, and had never really ever talked about something on his mind, so he'd always preferred to keep things to himself. He supposed though that Link would have to find out sometime, especially if they were to face this upcoming threat together.
But it didn't /matter/ anymore. None of it mattered. Nothing seemed to matter. This whole thing was stupid, just him being silly and whimsical. He was getting what he deserved. He'd disgraced the Sheikahs, so they'd disgraced him. He probably disgraced Link too. Heaven knew the Hero of Time deserved everything that /could/ be offered.
/He'd probably be better off without me along for this anyway,/ he thought threateningly at the ceiling. /He'd be better off if I just slipped out of his life as quickly as I slipped in./
And for a moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to just...get away. Forever. He had his knives with him, he could--
For a long moment, he stared up at the ceiling, his mind reeling at the magnitude of what he'd just thought. And then, he remembered....
...that nothing mattered anyway.
--
No. Link couldn't deal with this anymore. This awkward silence, just staring at the ground, wondering what was wrong but knowing he couldn't ask... he could never ask because he knew that would just make it worse, and that was the last thing he wanted happening.
He needed to get out of there.
He stood up shakily, feeling his head spin from getting up too fast. He placed his hand against the bed as he steadied himself, and then, with a deep breath, turned to where Sheik was laying. "I'm gonna go walk around..." he told him, not really sure what he'd end up doing yet, and decided that that was a vague enough statement to do.
He just wished he could help him somehow... but how could he? He didn't even know what was wrong, and... well, he was the last person that knew a thing about emotions... How would he know what was the right thing to say, to do? It was simple -- he didn't.
/And so you're just running away from it?/
/Shut up./
He raised a hand to wave goodbye and then left the room. Little did he know that that goodbye might be a bit more meaningful than it should have been. It might be the last time he spoke a word to the Sheikah... or ex-Sheikah, if you will.
Where would he go now? Maybe he'd find Impa, talk to her about it... she said she had wanted to speak to him earlier. She might be able to clue him in... Zelda was a no-no... the town might be the best place for him to get his mind off of things, even if he didn't want to admit it...
--
It took Sheik a long time to move once the door made that clicking sound signifying that it was shut, and that he was alone. Maybe it was ten minutes. Maybe it was an hour. He didn't know. It didn't matter.
He might have felt bad that he hadn't even acknowledged Link's departure if he still felt that he was capable of feeling anything but bitter anger. Or rather, acknowledging anything aside from that anger. It was there, after all, but only the anger seemed to be getting through.
He was shaking slightly when he finally sat up, retrieving one of his carefully concealed knives, always kept at full sharpness. The Order had somehow trusted him far enough not to disarm him when he'd appeared before them. Then, in a room full of Sheikahs, he'd be dead before he finished reaching for his knife, so perhaps it wasn't so much trust as it was hoping he /would/ be so foolish.
He kind of wished he had been. Slitting one's own wrists was supposed to be a painful process. But.. that didn't really matter either.
Unwrapping the bandages from his left arm, he carefully exposed his wrist and lower arm. The idea of a note flashed through his mind, but he decided it was too presumptuous to even assume anyone cared.
One slash was never enough. It didn't even hurt when he made the first cut, or the second, parallel to the first, directly underneath the first. The blood welled slowly up through the precise incisions, trickling to the side and dripping down on to the floor. He thought absently that it'd be hard to clean something like that up, but it was too late now. The next cut was vertical, making something resembling a cross. That was the one that would be lethal, lining with the veins up his arm.
It should have hurt, but he didn't know if it could hurt anymore than it already did anyway.
-----
Author's Notes
Court: As I recall, this is the beginning of when everything starts to go to hell and the angst just ESCALATES. But you should like this. Because angst means fluff means them getting together eventually. XD IT WILL HAPPEN, I PROMISE. Um. Yes. I'm sure you hate us.
Rydia: Have I mentioned lately that cliffhangers are FUN? I suppose we'll get eaten if we don't update soon...
Also, this is particularly for a review by "Neo", but in general too. Deus ex Machina did not originate in the Matrix. Oo; It's actually a Greek phrase, translating to "God in the Machine", and originated in ancient Greece where it referred to the mechanical device that the people playing gods and goddesses would ride in to make them descend from "heaven". Because in Greek plays, a common theme is for the people on earth to screw up their lives and have a god come down at the end of the play and fix things, today a deus ex machina refers to when someone calls on a deity only when their lives suck and they want god to fix it. There's a good reason this fic is called Deus ex Machina, but that doesn't come into play until the end.
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Stay tuned for Chapter 7 : In which Link saves the day!