One year, 346 days, seven hours, and twenty-seven minutes. It really had been that long. Was it frightening that he counted down to the minute how long he made it? It was kind of like an ongoing, unspoken bet at work, 'Guess when Greg will snap and blow his brains out!' The person who guesses closest to the exact date without going over wins!
They scared him, all of them. Every person he passed, even strangers on the street, scared the shit out of him because he couldn't see what they were thinking. He couldn't hear them judging him, but he knew they were.
The worst part of it was the way his friends treated him, it was almost as if they were afraid of him. Because, let's face it, Greg had become more unpredictable than he was before. The bright clothes, weird hair, and loud music were gone and they were all left with a shadow of the guy he once was. Sure, it was a phony expression of who he was, but at least it was an expression. Now he mostly kept to himself and tried to keep quiet. He tried to act as normal as possible around the team, especially Nick. They wanted the old Greg back. Everyone regarded him differently since the accident, which was, of course, to be expected.
At first, Grissom tried to act as caring as possible. He tried to set Greg up with a psychiatrist; he even offered to let Greg stay at his place until he got back on his feet, but after awhile he slipped back into his own life, which was to be expected. He had a marriage and a new baby to look forward to. Greg wasn't the top priority on his list anymore, which was fine with Greg. He had always felt awkward around Grissom. He felt more at ease when Grissom ignored him like before. At least that was familiar.
Catherine hadn't really even approached him since he left the hospital. Greg knew he upset her version of her 'perfect world' where everyone she knew was completely at ease enjoying a happiness that she could never experience. He assumed that in a way, she felt as if he had betrayed her trust by almost dying on them. He was supposed to be there, he was their scapegoat. His lab used to be their haven, a safe place where they could escape the pressures of their own jobs. Now there was no haven, no distraction, and she blamed him for that.
Nick tried his hardest to get things back to the way they were. He missed the old Greg more than anyone; he missed his best friend. Nick still invited him over for basketball games occasionally. Warrick would usually join them at about half time. For a little while, it would almost be like old times, but, like Greg, the Mavericks, the only team they both agreed to support, seemed to be on an endless losing streak since their star was injured one year, 346 days, seven hours, and forty- nine minutes ago. There were rumors about a comeback from the star, but it was nothing short of a miracle. During those two hours they spent watching the games, Nick tried to get Greg to talk to him, but Greg couldn't release all of him problems on Nick. It would kill Nick.
Warrick had been the most comforting out of all of them. Greg could tell him anything and Warrick would look back at him with eyes filled with a certain amount of respect and calmly give him unbiased suggestions as a way to help him with his problems. Maybe it was because the two were never that close before that Greg felt at ease talking to him.
So much had changed since the accident. Greg didn't even care anymore and his physical appearance showed that. His hair was longer, a side effect of not cutting it in over a year, and darker, because he had long since stopped dying it. His complexion was pale because he no longer went out during the day. His friends had noticed his physical changes, perhaps faster than they noticed the mental ones, but every time they looked into his sullen eyes, it was a painful reminder of the destruction he had released on everyone.
Today, Greg received some news. He couldn't call it good news because the thought of it terrified him and calling it bad just didn't seem fitting. Sara was coming back. Only for a week, but she was still coming back.
They say time heals all wounds, but Greg had come to realize that that was complete bullshit. The day she left was one of the top heart-wrenching days of his life. She left shocked and probably disappointed in him, but she should have called. She never even checked to make sure he was still alive. He thought about Sara constantly still, after all that had happened, after he found out she wasn't exactly the person he hoped her to be, he couldn't help but love her. Even if it was nothing but force of habit, he still cared. Every time her name was even mentioned, his heart skipped a beat. Spending a whole week with her would be torture.
Maybe it wasn't even Sara he was in love with. Maybe it was the image of her, the fantasy version he created. He could go on telling himself all of the reasons that he didn't need her, but it never did any good.
"Greg, are you coming back to the crime scene with me?" Catherine huffed. She had been waiting on Greg, who had spaced out in the break room yet again, for fifteen minutes.
"Sorry". After Sara left, instead of hunting for a new face for the lab, Grissom hired Greg to take her spot. He thought at first that this decision was a huge mistake, but after the first week, Greg proved to be as good as, if not better than, Sara. He worked well with people; he made the suspects feel comfortable. They trusted him and often confessed to him.
In the months since the 'accident', Greg had changed. He was more depressed, bitterer. This world had disappointed him too many times and he had lost his faith in anything except himself. He knew he wouldn't try to kill himself again, if only to prove to everyone else that he could make it.
So I spilled out my guts
To look past my regrets
And I sang to the heavens
As I bled from my neck
I said
"Thanks for your patience
And all you wisdom and strength"
I said, " Thanks for all the suffering"
As I sang for the dead
They lived for the living
And you ignored every word
And we'll all grow old and die
As our pleas go unheard
So I walked through the valley
And I tried to forget
How I loved every moment
Of the life that I left
We were all cheated, my brothers
We were all lied to my friends
No one can save us now
Not even death
So cast off what is mortal
And ignore all your dreams
They all turn to shit in the end
And you wake up in hell
Why fear the unknown
When the present's as painful
As being ignored
AN: Next chapter: Sara and Greg meet for the first time in over a year (notice how I am drawing it out, hahaha). The song in this chapter is Por Vida by Vendetta Red.
Thanks to all of my reviewers! That was the most reviews for a chapter since #3! I would really like it if I could get enough reviews for this chapter to create a fourth page of reviews. I've never gotten to the fourth page before.
One final note: I'm really sorry if the emotions/ thoughts of the characters are a little immature. I mean, I'm only sixteen. I'm not going to try and write about deep emotions and feelings that I have never felt before, because that wouldn't work.
Oops, I forgot; one more thing: The guy who was the basis for the Sara role, well, how can I put this, with the way things are going right now, don't expect a happy ending for the characters.