Chapter 9
3 Couples, 2 fights, and a Yule Ball.
Well Christmas is coming, a time of festive activities, pleasures, presents and snow. Ferns, trees, ferntrees, wow the fun the joy, the FOOD! oh, Lord, lordy lord I can't wait, now on to more important things such as the Yule ball I shall be attending a weeks time with.........wait for it........yes........wait........keep on waiting.........wait.......hang on...(Woah OK put that chair down i'll tell you)....with SEVERUS SNAPE!!!! yes you read me correctly, Sevi Snape, Snape DI Sev, Severussy Snapey hahahahaa woo! i've never been so excited in my life, well apart from the time I thought I saw Mick Jagger walking down street, but when I got closer it was really just some Nomad with a huge gob and long hair.
You guys remember the envelope I so graciously accepted the other month, well guess what it contained.....Nah forget it I'll just tell you, it reads thus...
An Invitation to party!
For
Rebecca Wendell & Severus Snape
To attend the Hogwarts Yule Ball
Christmas eve December 24th
Formal wear required
VIP PASS
Must attend together
(NO EXCUSES, THAT MEANS YOU SNAPE)
Have a lovely time.
Rather cool if I say so myself, I don't know how you would react, but IM off living high up in the clouds on cloud 8 as cloud 9 isn't big enough for my happiness, oh I can't wait I'll be able to wear my robe the one from Diagon, oh wow.......wait what will Snape do somehow I don't think he's going to be too happy about this...hehehe I don't think he really gets a say in the matter, HA! he really thinks he has free will....Yeah right.
Now for what you have missed in the last month since you last saw me in my pyjamas accepting an award....
I am going to the Yule ball with Snape
I have dyed my hair blonde (hope it doesn't make me a dumb blonde)
I have avoided SNAPE at all costs, except for lessons where he doesn't speak or talk to me (Wonder if he knows)
I have released Emily from her spell and she is a changed girl (shocking really)
Emily's boyfriend is a ghost!
His name is BEEFY for Gods sake
Dumbledore has appeared for the first time since the talent contest and goes around in a permanent good mood
Same for Professor McGonnagal (I smell a chicken, don't you)
And Ginny Weasley has been acting extremely strange, (wonder what's up with her although it is none of my business)......I think I'll make it my business actually.
As I said before Emily is a changed girlfriend, I am no longer the best friend of a stalker but of a friendly girl who lets me go and do stuff on my own and I ask for no more than that, well that and a new Pair of sunglasses at Christmas, and a present on my birthday and a odd Easter egg and a few bars of chocolate and my stout.
It appears as if she is going to the Yule Ball with this Beefy even though another bloke has been mooning after her....his name is Graham Brooks, to me he's a complete and utter nonce, I mean he is so sad, why would you like that I mean all he is, is Quidditch champ, star Athlete, with spiky dark hair and huge muscles, and has fit legs, I mean that is nothing he probably can't string a sentence together and probably has more trouble talking than Rio Ferdinand or Gareth Gates (moose boy). Definitely not my type and besides he's to young!
I have a week until the Yule Ball.... a week, a week to get ready......I don't think it's long enough really, IM a girl, you know how long a girl hogs the bathroom for and its an important occasion, I need at least a month but what you gonna do.
First item on my list
Clothes.
A fairly easy job, I mean I know what IM wearing already, the robe from Madame Malkins, but it needs accessories, shoes, I have some green high heals actually God knows how well I can walk in them......I don't think I can. A bag, I'll take this little black clutch bag, I can fit...............absolutely nothing in it .....Perfect!
Hair
How to style my bottle head, I think braids what about you..... No Not little miss Muffet braids or rag doll style, I mean properly braided to your head, the sort you see the stars having done, such as Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz and ermmm David Beckham!
Make up
I'll do that myself, don't let anybody within 50 feet of me with makeup brushes, if I wanted to look like something out of Rocky Horror then I would ask, no way I'll do it myself.
Those were the minor things now on to the big things only 5 days left (time passes awfully quick in this story doesn't it).
My song for the dance.
Doesn't even need thought definitely 'Something about the way you look tonight' by Elton, oh it makes me want to burst out into mad song.......AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN, BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT see IM off already and I only mentioned its title.
My presents for my parents as if I have forgotten about them in my mad search for huge novelty earrings they need gifts......right...em...let me see, what have I got in my trunk........hahahaha perfect.
Dad- I have a couple of pairs of socks and a pair of ear muffs, he'll need them when he's washing the car in the snow.....(seriously he does)
Mum- An Air freshener for that stupid MG Midget of hers, its really a stupid car, and a top of mine she can't keep her greasy mitts off, I like how she's always dressed in my clothes she is an old sheep dressed like a what do you call it ........ah that's the one.....young sheep. I think this hair is making me a bit stupid.
Brother- ermmm well, this erm...old whistle will do, he'll only break it playing footie with it any way.
3 days left, where the hell is the time going it passes quicker than in films.
You may have noticed I haven't been to see Snape to be honest, IM scared I don't know what to say o him, Oh Hi Professor, how's it going, by the way I hope its okay that were going on a date to the Yule Ball, and I don't suppose you really have a say in the matter.......that will be a nice conversation won't it, well IM not gonna say.......oh sod it, I'll just say it he hasn't really got a choice in the matter IM telling the truth.
Okay, IM going, up the stairs, down the corridor, walk past Harry Potter looking pained, or is that his normal expression you really can't tell nowadays, as he supposedly has so much to do, such as saving the world and all that.
OK, IM walking, IM walking, IM slowing, IM lost, IM Pathetic!, in my worry I have ended up in the great hall, oh dear wait, Snape's here stood in the middle of the room on his Billy (alone). I walked up behind him and tapped him on his shoulder.
"ER Professor", I said.
He must have jumped a mile in the air, I've never seen anybody move so fast, you can tell he was once a trained deatheater can't you.
"Erm Professor" I began
"Miss Wendell please never do that again, creeping around the castle, is not necessary, and neither is disturbing me" he shouted.
"Erm yes it is sir" I replied
"I beg your pardon" he glared
"Sir I was wondering just about the Yule ball" I asked.
"Yes Miss Wendell, I am aware of the situation that you and I are in, and I supposedly have no choice, in going now after that stunt you pulled, I am glad that I cannot really remember it, otherwise your punishment would have been worse than being with me for the evening", he said "Now leave my sight".
For once I did as I was told and left him alone, I sure as hell feel extremely guilty about what I have done now, from now on I'll play by the book...........MY BOOK HA!.
The Yule Ball
The day has arrived, the day has come, the day before Christmas and all through the castle, wow, I hope I get some good pressies this year, not like last year, I really think that an entire selection of different coloured teapots are absolutely useless, IM using them to prop my mirror up on my desk. During my extremely short period of guilt, I bought Snape a present, it is a kitchen witch!, actually IM not even sure he has a kitchen but he can hang it from one of his 4 posts, I reckon he will be pleased, how about you....
I have assessed the couples for the do, they stand as thus....
Me-Snape (hehe)
Hermione- Ron
Ginny- Sirius Black (i think i know something)
Emily- Beefy (the odd couple)
Graham Tudor- Ann Winters (i don't think that's the right season some how)
Dumbledore- McGonnagal.
Hagrid- ?
Remus Lupin- and hahaha ahaa, oh ahaaa Professor Trelawney- (is he desperate, i bet she predicted it)
IM not really sure of the status of the rest of the school, but i can guarantee as with the people i know it will be extremely absurd. Christmas day at Hogwarts is an all out extravaganza, money is no object because money doesn't really apply in Hogwarts. This year, due to the Yule ball there is no main dinner, only a little (well probably large) lunch, there is a meal set up at the ball. I haven't seen the Main hall but i reckon it will be fabby, fab, fab, don't you?
Dressing Routine.
Okay it is 1.00pm, and time to start getting ready, i really don't think seven hours is long enough, but its going to have to do, it takes time to look as gorgeous as i am going to have to, to impress anybody at all.
Hair!!
Murder on a bad day, gorgeous on a good day, but its better than being bald, I mean not that there's anything wrong with being bald or that............OH! never mind, I'll just shut my big mouth.
Braiding, IM braiding, my arms are aching, arms are aching, fingers hurting, ribbons falling, hair annoying AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!Shoot me, dispose of me or my hair something, i suck, IM gonna look an idiot and really stupid, and i need anti depressants..................Chocolate really is the answer to all life's little problems, i now have Emily attacking me hair, and to be honest its not half bad, i have copper braids and green ribbons not bad, not bad at all.
Nails
Okay, i know IM pretty good with nails but i have zapped in a nail artist to give me a heads up, well a nails up, IM going for green with a flash of silver glitter, Slytherin colours to impress Snape.......yeah that's gonna happen.
Makeup
As i said before, nobody else touches my face to do my make up, so i have settled for the few minor necessities.......Conceler stick, Conceler, Powder, blusher, Eye shadow, eye liner, mascara x2, lipliner, lipstick and lip gloss, a squirt of perfume and some glitter, the bare necessities.
Coming on for 5.00pm now, yep no time is good time, a stitch in time saves nine, yeah Right, time is passing ridiculously, it flies when you are struggling aimlessly to make yourself look good.
Putting on my clothes.......owwwwww!!!, hair owww caught in zip owwwwwww, ahhh relief was a little caught up in myself there for a minute, have you ever had the feeling of complete sickness down from your head to your feet, your stomach being the worst and to go and throw up in a bush somewhere would be the greatest relief in the world, well I have that right now, i think it's nerves or that cherry pie i ate at lunch time, cherries are terrible for me....I think i take some pills because i don't want another projectile vomiting attack on Snape.
The entrance hall was a swell sight, i mean erm, it was cool, the four Christmas trees hung above me decorated with small amounts of snow sprinkled atop of then, I noticed that the Christmas baubles sang Christmas carols, and the armour sang inappropriate versions of them after wards.
The hall held a collection of students waiting for their various partners, a few had a slight green tinge hanging around their faces, I am never touching cherry pie again.
Harry Potter was sat in the corner looking gloomy, Jesus you'd think that one night of the year Christmas even he'd crack a face, if he smiled more he might not be so miserable, I mean come on all he has to do is throw a few spells and evade a snake guy, i could do that in my sleep.
I wonder where Snape is he really is taking his time, you'd think he didn't want to come wouldn't you. I can see Ron over the other side of the hall, and for once he is not in maroon, he's in mauve, it's really not that much better, oh and there's Professor Trelawney, she is in bright green with glitter and dimante spectacles, she looks like an over sized dragon fly going to the Oscars.
Right IM going in, he can meet me inside, IM a free independent, strong, wilful woman, I can walk into the dance alone, completely…………….urge! nope uh huh, no IM not going in alone, it's full of dancing couples ice sculptures and a partridge in a pear tree,…hey IM not kidding.
"Miss Wendell if you can please stop blocking the doorway and be so kind as to MOVE"!
"Aaaarggh!" I shouted, and cockled over. I turned with great difficulty and looked up into Snape's face, his long hair resting lightly on his shoulders. A long, oh my God is that Navy blue, robe covering his body, shame the face didn't match the outfit, he wore a I'd rather be anywhere in the world, tending to elephants and wild viscous dragons than be stood looking at you expression.
"Well Miss Wendell, it's your fault IM here so shall we go……….What is that God awful racket" he asked suddenly looking alarmed. I up to that point had zoned out all the noise and conversation the moment he had spoken to me, looking around I heard the most terrible singing ever, and discovered the voices owner to be Hermione Granger, Hermione may be clever and good in all Academic subjects, but finally hearing her sing may the glass in the window sing a lot louder and in protest, If Celine Dion was dead she would be spinning Twilight style in her grave.
"My HEART will go ONNN and ONNNNN!!!" she screeched, I think she may have raised the Titanic.
"It appears as if it is Hermione Grangers to Celine Dion sir" I replied.
"Who?" he asked.
"Never mind, I said, I wasn't aware there was going to be a Karaoke".
"A who and a Kara what?" he asked persistently.
" Celine Dion and a Karaoke, a muggle singing thingy, were you pretend you can sing and annoy the hell out of everybody for three minutes" I replied slightly irritated by the whole twenty questions act from a man who hardly ever spoke to me at all.
He just looked at me and grabbed my arm slightly roughly OMG, and walked me into the hall to be greeted by silence as Hermione's song finished and everyone turned to look at us, complete shock and in some peoples cases DISGUST written like a dirty great water mark across their faces.
"Wanna Picture buy a Kodak" I said really loudly to the staring crowd, one boy had a piece of pork chop half way up to his mouth and didn't seem to notice the slow trickle of gravy making a puddle on his lap.
Slowly the band struck up a tune and people turned away from us, I looked up at Snape he seemed completely unfazed by this reaction, you'd think people looked at him in repulse everyday of the week, come to think of it………………..they probably do.
"If you'll excuse Miss Wendell, I must address the headmaster" Snape said and walked off in the other direction leaving me stood alone in the room.
I shall mingle, wandering around the room people do not want to mingle with me, they are all to busy being with people, well I never, Im not having none of this, Snape has been gone nearly half an hour, I mean I know he talks but this is ridiculous.
"RIGHT" I said aloud and stomped up to the stage where the karaoke was currently being used by a first year singing S Club 7.
"Reach for the stars" I said in a classic cowboy accent to her………so she does.
"Reach for the stars, climb every mountain high and Reach for the stars" She sang quite happily.
OHHH Never! Stupid S Club, "I mean get off" I said with a scary look on my face. She jumped and said "please lady don't take me back to the insane asylum with you, have it have it" and ran off the stage, I wonder why she thinks im crazy?
Turning to the band I looked at them…………………..HIT IT BOYS!………………….still looking back at me……………erm Play the song boys………..still looking at me Spieled mien Songen ………….still looking…………Jouer ma chanson…… Sprechen sie Englisch….
"Look lady what song do you want" one of them said after a while……. Looking exasperated, I turned and whispered it to them. They nodded and struck up the tune.
I was sitting in the classroom,
Trying to look intelligent.
Incas, the teacher looked at me.
He was long and he was lean
He's a middle-aged dream
and the guy, he means the whole world
To me.
It's a natural achievement, conquering my homework
With his Image pounding in my brain.
He's an inspiration, for my Graduation.
And he helps to keep the classroom sane.
(By now everybody was looking at my including Snape, all of the teachers looking slightly puzzled except for Dumbledore who was smiling)
Oh Teacher I need you, like a little child (point at Snape)
You got something in you to drive a school girl wild.
You gave me education in the lovesick blues.
Help me get straight, come out and say.
Teacher I teacher I teacher I need you.
Awoahhhhhhooohhhhh, awoahhhhhhohhhh.
(Boogying about I notice a confrontation between Potter and Malfoy, No way are they ruining my number)
Oh Teacher I need you, like a little child (point at Snape)
You got something in you to drive a school girl wild.
You gave me education in the lovesick blues.
Help me get straight, come out and say.
Teacher I teacher I…………. ( they started to fight right in the middle of my Finale, Malfoy had hold of Potter in a head lock, and people were ignoring me, now normally I would be rooting Malfoy but…………. Guys Respect)
What you want!
Baby I got it!
What you need
You Know I got
All im asking
Is a little
RESPECT!!
(just a little bit)
Hey YOU GUYS
Just a little bit
A LITTLE RESPECT
Potter, Malfoy,
Just a little bit.
Stop It you guys.
Just a little bit.
R. E. S. P. E. C. T!!!!
Find out what it means to me.
RESPECT take it PECT!
Sock it to him Sock it to him Sock it to him LATER Malfoy.
Just a little bit
Hey baby Just a little bit.
RESPECT!
Haha that's stopped them, now they are taking it outside away from everybody else. Stepping down the stage I find Snape waiting for me, my song may have worked.
"Miss Wendell, that was interesting, a interesting method to be exact, stopping a fight without points or a detention, you did I dare say quite well, with your attention seeking method" he said.
Attention seeking method, what's that supposed to mean I never seek attention.
He turned and walked off. "HEY" I shouted after him.
He looked at me "Pardon", he replied.
"Yeah, are you going to ignore me all night, like an old turnip", I said.
Looking at me he nodded slightly.
"Uh Huh, no way, you know brother I ain't having none of it, this old turnip is off back to the farm because the old granddad doesn't Wanna eat her (strange analogy I know) If the granddad wants the turnip back he better ditch the carrot" I said and turned and stormed out of the hall quite aware of the fact that my heel on my shoe was clicking in an alarming way, I turned and gave him a contemptuous look before spinning and……………………falling over a chair.
3 Couples, 2 fights, and a Yule Ball.
Well Christmas is coming, a time of festive activities, pleasures, presents and snow. Ferns, trees, ferntrees, wow the fun the joy, the FOOD! oh, Lord, lordy lord I can't wait, now on to more important things such as the Yule ball I shall be attending a weeks time with.........wait for it........yes........wait........keep on waiting.........wait.......hang on...(Woah OK put that chair down i'll tell you)....with SEVERUS SNAPE!!!! yes you read me correctly, Sevi Snape, Snape DI Sev, Severussy Snapey hahahahaa woo! i've never been so excited in my life, well apart from the time I thought I saw Mick Jagger walking down street, but when I got closer it was really just some Nomad with a huge gob and long hair.
You guys remember the envelope I so graciously accepted the other month, well guess what it contained.....Nah forget it I'll just tell you, it reads thus...
An Invitation to party!
For
Rebecca Wendell & Severus Snape
To attend the Hogwarts Yule Ball
Christmas eve December 24th
Formal wear required
VIP PASS
Must attend together
(NO EXCUSES, THAT MEANS YOU SNAPE)
Have a lovely time.
Rather cool if I say so myself, I don't know how you would react, but IM off living high up in the clouds on cloud 8 as cloud 9 isn't big enough for my happiness, oh I can't wait I'll be able to wear my robe the one from Diagon, oh wow.......wait what will Snape do somehow I don't think he's going to be too happy about this...hehehe I don't think he really gets a say in the matter, HA! he really thinks he has free will....Yeah right.
Now for what you have missed in the last month since you last saw me in my pyjamas accepting an award....
I am going to the Yule ball with Snape
I have dyed my hair blonde (hope it doesn't make me a dumb blonde)
I have avoided SNAPE at all costs, except for lessons where he doesn't speak or talk to me (Wonder if he knows)
I have released Emily from her spell and she is a changed girl (shocking really)
Emily's boyfriend is a ghost!
His name is BEEFY for Gods sake
Dumbledore has appeared for the first time since the talent contest and goes around in a permanent good mood
Same for Professor McGonnagal (I smell a chicken, don't you)
And Ginny Weasley has been acting extremely strange, (wonder what's up with her although it is none of my business)......I think I'll make it my business actually.
As I said before Emily is a changed girlfriend, I am no longer the best friend of a stalker but of a friendly girl who lets me go and do stuff on my own and I ask for no more than that, well that and a new Pair of sunglasses at Christmas, and a present on my birthday and a odd Easter egg and a few bars of chocolate and my stout.
It appears as if she is going to the Yule Ball with this Beefy even though another bloke has been mooning after her....his name is Graham Brooks, to me he's a complete and utter nonce, I mean he is so sad, why would you like that I mean all he is, is Quidditch champ, star Athlete, with spiky dark hair and huge muscles, and has fit legs, I mean that is nothing he probably can't string a sentence together and probably has more trouble talking than Rio Ferdinand or Gareth Gates (moose boy). Definitely not my type and besides he's to young!
I have a week until the Yule Ball.... a week, a week to get ready......I don't think it's long enough really, IM a girl, you know how long a girl hogs the bathroom for and its an important occasion, I need at least a month but what you gonna do.
First item on my list
Clothes.
A fairly easy job, I mean I know what IM wearing already, the robe from Madame Malkins, but it needs accessories, shoes, I have some green high heals actually God knows how well I can walk in them......I don't think I can. A bag, I'll take this little black clutch bag, I can fit...............absolutely nothing in it .....Perfect!
Hair
How to style my bottle head, I think braids what about you..... No Not little miss Muffet braids or rag doll style, I mean properly braided to your head, the sort you see the stars having done, such as Nicole Kidman, Cameron Diaz and ermmm David Beckham!
Make up
I'll do that myself, don't let anybody within 50 feet of me with makeup brushes, if I wanted to look like something out of Rocky Horror then I would ask, no way I'll do it myself.
Those were the minor things now on to the big things only 5 days left (time passes awfully quick in this story doesn't it).
My song for the dance.
Doesn't even need thought definitely 'Something about the way you look tonight' by Elton, oh it makes me want to burst out into mad song.......AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN, BUT THERES SOMETHING ABOUT THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT see IM off already and I only mentioned its title.
My presents for my parents as if I have forgotten about them in my mad search for huge novelty earrings they need gifts......right...em...let me see, what have I got in my trunk........hahahaha perfect.
Dad- I have a couple of pairs of socks and a pair of ear muffs, he'll need them when he's washing the car in the snow.....(seriously he does)
Mum- An Air freshener for that stupid MG Midget of hers, its really a stupid car, and a top of mine she can't keep her greasy mitts off, I like how she's always dressed in my clothes she is an old sheep dressed like a what do you call it ........ah that's the one.....young sheep. I think this hair is making me a bit stupid.
Brother- ermmm well, this erm...old whistle will do, he'll only break it playing footie with it any way.
3 days left, where the hell is the time going it passes quicker than in films.
You may have noticed I haven't been to see Snape to be honest, IM scared I don't know what to say o him, Oh Hi Professor, how's it going, by the way I hope its okay that were going on a date to the Yule Ball, and I don't suppose you really have a say in the matter.......that will be a nice conversation won't it, well IM not gonna say.......oh sod it, I'll just say it he hasn't really got a choice in the matter IM telling the truth.
Okay, IM going, up the stairs, down the corridor, walk past Harry Potter looking pained, or is that his normal expression you really can't tell nowadays, as he supposedly has so much to do, such as saving the world and all that.
OK, IM walking, IM walking, IM slowing, IM lost, IM Pathetic!, in my worry I have ended up in the great hall, oh dear wait, Snape's here stood in the middle of the room on his Billy (alone). I walked up behind him and tapped him on his shoulder.
"ER Professor", I said.
He must have jumped a mile in the air, I've never seen anybody move so fast, you can tell he was once a trained deatheater can't you.
"Erm Professor" I began
"Miss Wendell please never do that again, creeping around the castle, is not necessary, and neither is disturbing me" he shouted.
"Erm yes it is sir" I replied
"I beg your pardon" he glared
"Sir I was wondering just about the Yule ball" I asked.
"Yes Miss Wendell, I am aware of the situation that you and I are in, and I supposedly have no choice, in going now after that stunt you pulled, I am glad that I cannot really remember it, otherwise your punishment would have been worse than being with me for the evening", he said "Now leave my sight".
For once I did as I was told and left him alone, I sure as hell feel extremely guilty about what I have done now, from now on I'll play by the book...........MY BOOK HA!.
The Yule Ball
The day has arrived, the day has come, the day before Christmas and all through the castle, wow, I hope I get some good pressies this year, not like last year, I really think that an entire selection of different coloured teapots are absolutely useless, IM using them to prop my mirror up on my desk. During my extremely short period of guilt, I bought Snape a present, it is a kitchen witch!, actually IM not even sure he has a kitchen but he can hang it from one of his 4 posts, I reckon he will be pleased, how about you....
I have assessed the couples for the do, they stand as thus....
Me-Snape (hehe)
Hermione- Ron
Ginny- Sirius Black (i think i know something)
Emily- Beefy (the odd couple)
Graham Tudor- Ann Winters (i don't think that's the right season some how)
Dumbledore- McGonnagal.
Hagrid- ?
Remus Lupin- and hahaha ahaa, oh ahaaa Professor Trelawney- (is he desperate, i bet she predicted it)
IM not really sure of the status of the rest of the school, but i can guarantee as with the people i know it will be extremely absurd. Christmas day at Hogwarts is an all out extravaganza, money is no object because money doesn't really apply in Hogwarts. This year, due to the Yule ball there is no main dinner, only a little (well probably large) lunch, there is a meal set up at the ball. I haven't seen the Main hall but i reckon it will be fabby, fab, fab, don't you?
Dressing Routine.
Okay it is 1.00pm, and time to start getting ready, i really don't think seven hours is long enough, but its going to have to do, it takes time to look as gorgeous as i am going to have to, to impress anybody at all.
Hair!!
Murder on a bad day, gorgeous on a good day, but its better than being bald, I mean not that there's anything wrong with being bald or that............OH! never mind, I'll just shut my big mouth.
Braiding, IM braiding, my arms are aching, arms are aching, fingers hurting, ribbons falling, hair annoying AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!Shoot me, dispose of me or my hair something, i suck, IM gonna look an idiot and really stupid, and i need anti depressants..................Chocolate really is the answer to all life's little problems, i now have Emily attacking me hair, and to be honest its not half bad, i have copper braids and green ribbons not bad, not bad at all.
Nails
Okay, i know IM pretty good with nails but i have zapped in a nail artist to give me a heads up, well a nails up, IM going for green with a flash of silver glitter, Slytherin colours to impress Snape.......yeah that's gonna happen.
Makeup
As i said before, nobody else touches my face to do my make up, so i have settled for the few minor necessities.......Conceler stick, Conceler, Powder, blusher, Eye shadow, eye liner, mascara x2, lipliner, lipstick and lip gloss, a squirt of perfume and some glitter, the bare necessities.
Coming on for 5.00pm now, yep no time is good time, a stitch in time saves nine, yeah Right, time is passing ridiculously, it flies when you are struggling aimlessly to make yourself look good.
Putting on my clothes.......owwwwww!!!, hair owww caught in zip owwwwwww, ahhh relief was a little caught up in myself there for a minute, have you ever had the feeling of complete sickness down from your head to your feet, your stomach being the worst and to go and throw up in a bush somewhere would be the greatest relief in the world, well I have that right now, i think it's nerves or that cherry pie i ate at lunch time, cherries are terrible for me....I think i take some pills because i don't want another projectile vomiting attack on Snape.
The entrance hall was a swell sight, i mean erm, it was cool, the four Christmas trees hung above me decorated with small amounts of snow sprinkled atop of then, I noticed that the Christmas baubles sang Christmas carols, and the armour sang inappropriate versions of them after wards.
The hall held a collection of students waiting for their various partners, a few had a slight green tinge hanging around their faces, I am never touching cherry pie again.
Harry Potter was sat in the corner looking gloomy, Jesus you'd think that one night of the year Christmas even he'd crack a face, if he smiled more he might not be so miserable, I mean come on all he has to do is throw a few spells and evade a snake guy, i could do that in my sleep.
I wonder where Snape is he really is taking his time, you'd think he didn't want to come wouldn't you. I can see Ron over the other side of the hall, and for once he is not in maroon, he's in mauve, it's really not that much better, oh and there's Professor Trelawney, she is in bright green with glitter and dimante spectacles, she looks like an over sized dragon fly going to the Oscars.
Right IM going in, he can meet me inside, IM a free independent, strong, wilful woman, I can walk into the dance alone, completely…………….urge! nope uh huh, no IM not going in alone, it's full of dancing couples ice sculptures and a partridge in a pear tree,…hey IM not kidding.
"Miss Wendell if you can please stop blocking the doorway and be so kind as to MOVE"!
"Aaaarggh!" I shouted, and cockled over. I turned with great difficulty and looked up into Snape's face, his long hair resting lightly on his shoulders. A long, oh my God is that Navy blue, robe covering his body, shame the face didn't match the outfit, he wore a I'd rather be anywhere in the world, tending to elephants and wild viscous dragons than be stood looking at you expression.
"Well Miss Wendell, it's your fault IM here so shall we go……….What is that God awful racket" he asked suddenly looking alarmed. I up to that point had zoned out all the noise and conversation the moment he had spoken to me, looking around I heard the most terrible singing ever, and discovered the voices owner to be Hermione Granger, Hermione may be clever and good in all Academic subjects, but finally hearing her sing may the glass in the window sing a lot louder and in protest, If Celine Dion was dead she would be spinning Twilight style in her grave.
"My HEART will go ONNN and ONNNNN!!!" she screeched, I think she may have raised the Titanic.
"It appears as if it is Hermione Grangers to Celine Dion sir" I replied.
"Who?" he asked.
"Never mind, I said, I wasn't aware there was going to be a Karaoke".
"A who and a Kara what?" he asked persistently.
" Celine Dion and a Karaoke, a muggle singing thingy, were you pretend you can sing and annoy the hell out of everybody for three minutes" I replied slightly irritated by the whole twenty questions act from a man who hardly ever spoke to me at all.
He just looked at me and grabbed my arm slightly roughly OMG, and walked me into the hall to be greeted by silence as Hermione's song finished and everyone turned to look at us, complete shock and in some peoples cases DISGUST written like a dirty great water mark across their faces.
"Wanna Picture buy a Kodak" I said really loudly to the staring crowd, one boy had a piece of pork chop half way up to his mouth and didn't seem to notice the slow trickle of gravy making a puddle on his lap.
Slowly the band struck up a tune and people turned away from us, I looked up at Snape he seemed completely unfazed by this reaction, you'd think people looked at him in repulse everyday of the week, come to think of it………………..they probably do.
"If you'll excuse Miss Wendell, I must address the headmaster" Snape said and walked off in the other direction leaving me stood alone in the room.
I shall mingle, wandering around the room people do not want to mingle with me, they are all to busy being with people, well I never, Im not having none of this, Snape has been gone nearly half an hour, I mean I know he talks but this is ridiculous.
"RIGHT" I said aloud and stomped up to the stage where the karaoke was currently being used by a first year singing S Club 7.
"Reach for the stars" I said in a classic cowboy accent to her………so she does.
"Reach for the stars, climb every mountain high and Reach for the stars" She sang quite happily.
OHHH Never! Stupid S Club, "I mean get off" I said with a scary look on my face. She jumped and said "please lady don't take me back to the insane asylum with you, have it have it" and ran off the stage, I wonder why she thinks im crazy?
Turning to the band I looked at them…………………..HIT IT BOYS!………………….still looking back at me……………erm Play the song boys………..still looking at me Spieled mien Songen ………….still looking…………Jouer ma chanson…… Sprechen sie Englisch….
"Look lady what song do you want" one of them said after a while……. Looking exasperated, I turned and whispered it to them. They nodded and struck up the tune.
I was sitting in the classroom,
Trying to look intelligent.
Incas, the teacher looked at me.
He was long and he was lean
He's a middle-aged dream
and the guy, he means the whole world
To me.
It's a natural achievement, conquering my homework
With his Image pounding in my brain.
He's an inspiration, for my Graduation.
And he helps to keep the classroom sane.
(By now everybody was looking at my including Snape, all of the teachers looking slightly puzzled except for Dumbledore who was smiling)
Oh Teacher I need you, like a little child (point at Snape)
You got something in you to drive a school girl wild.
You gave me education in the lovesick blues.
Help me get straight, come out and say.
Teacher I teacher I teacher I need you.
Awoahhhhhhooohhhhh, awoahhhhhhohhhh.
(Boogying about I notice a confrontation between Potter and Malfoy, No way are they ruining my number)
Oh Teacher I need you, like a little child (point at Snape)
You got something in you to drive a school girl wild.
You gave me education in the lovesick blues.
Help me get straight, come out and say.
Teacher I teacher I…………. ( they started to fight right in the middle of my Finale, Malfoy had hold of Potter in a head lock, and people were ignoring me, now normally I would be rooting Malfoy but…………. Guys Respect)
What you want!
Baby I got it!
What you need
You Know I got
All im asking
Is a little
RESPECT!!
(just a little bit)
Hey YOU GUYS
Just a little bit
A LITTLE RESPECT
Potter, Malfoy,
Just a little bit.
Stop It you guys.
Just a little bit.
R. E. S. P. E. C. T!!!!
Find out what it means to me.
RESPECT take it PECT!
Sock it to him Sock it to him Sock it to him LATER Malfoy.
Just a little bit
Hey baby Just a little bit.
RESPECT!
Haha that's stopped them, now they are taking it outside away from everybody else. Stepping down the stage I find Snape waiting for me, my song may have worked.
"Miss Wendell, that was interesting, a interesting method to be exact, stopping a fight without points or a detention, you did I dare say quite well, with your attention seeking method" he said.
Attention seeking method, what's that supposed to mean I never seek attention.
He turned and walked off. "HEY" I shouted after him.
He looked at me "Pardon", he replied.
"Yeah, are you going to ignore me all night, like an old turnip", I said.
Looking at me he nodded slightly.
"Uh Huh, no way, you know brother I ain't having none of it, this old turnip is off back to the farm because the old granddad doesn't Wanna eat her (strange analogy I know) If the granddad wants the turnip back he better ditch the carrot" I said and turned and stormed out of the hall quite aware of the fact that my heel on my shoe was clicking in an alarming way, I turned and gave him a contemptuous look before spinning and……………………falling over a chair.