Chapter 11 Grandma Wendell
Right today is Tuesday meaning the day I have to go and meet granny in Hogsmeade, aren't I lucky she is going to hate it when she finds out im after Snape.
Snape by the way has been AWOL over Christmas I have not seen hide nor hair of him since Christmas eve when he stormed away from me in the rose garden, he hasn't been attending meals and has not been any where in the castle for me to speak too, I even headed up to his chambers and peered in using my binoculars from the tree outside and he wasn't even there, and I fell out and ripped my dress on a branch and landed on my bum, I haven't been able to sit down at all. Right so red scarf on from granny at Christmas, robes, gloves and .........top hat.....i have no choice not with Granny.
Hogsmeade isn't too bad of a walk away, its just past the gates and up the road, God it's freezing today, getting dragged out in sub arctic conditions to visit my grandma who will be sat in a pub laughing at the thought of me tramping through the snow.......God I hate snow, gets every where, in the cracks.
The three broomsticks is a small crowded pub on the main Hogsmeade road, the bar is tended by Madame Rosemata, (huh) I don't like her, she just uses men, picks them almost like a project, gets them and leaves them, its disgusting, who in their right mind would do that?.
"Becky, hi, what can I get you" Rosemata called to me in her sickly sweet voice (urrgh). Since when did I give her the permission to call me Becky, she's always after the men I like. She's like somebody else I know, Do you remember Ann Winters, yeah that silly cow, she's got it in for my love life I swear, I mean I can pick a cute and sweet lad and try my best to win him over and in she comes swishing her little hips and sticking her big boobs in their faces and suddenly who's Rebecca? In some cases all she has to do is look, or open her vindictive gob to start a shouting match, or to tell some make believe story about her family...sure it's okay for her to make them all sound like psycho maniacs, but when somebody else says anything its, RACIST.
I have picked some of the most unobvious guys ever and still she charms them without meaning too, when you think about if they have too pick between an ordinary intellectual and I may often say amusing girl, and a half Italian supermodel......I'm sure they all want me......NOT.
"Vodka tonic, don't skimp on the rocks", I said smiling.
"Coke then" she replied
Smiling quite sickly at her I sat down in a booth at the back of the room and watched the door, over the heads of the weird...can't quite describe them...sort of people in the room.
Madame Rosemata dropped my coke on the table in front of me I ignored her.
"Honey what's all this what's going on here" I winced and looked up, at the other side of the pub I could see a large purple top hat and a huge pair of glasses perched upon a head of curly orange locks, Ladies Gentlemen and warthogs meet my grandma. She appeared to be gesturing at a man wearing a yellow and green balaclava, at least I think it was it may have been his ..erm..face.
"Granny", I shouted trying to deter her away from the poor offended man.
"Rebecca, honey, the hat I love it, designer" she said wading her way through tables knocking people towards their drinks and friends.
"Oh yes Dolce and Gabbana" I replied...well actually it was on sale at ASDA for £5.99, you have to say these things to keep my granny off your back.
"So how are you, still gorgeous I see" granny said (she is very complimentary)
"How's that young man of yours" she asked (thinking quickly)
"Erm he erm he went well he er died! Yeah that's right he died" I replied (don't ask, too long of a story).
"so who's next" she went on, I think she knows me to well, either that or she is me with grey hair and a beard.
" Look granny if I tell you, you can't tell anyone, (not that she needs too I think everybody knows already), I mean you can't get mad or throw me out the window like you did my brother when you found out about Estelle (incoherent mumbling from granny) so I ask you to stay calm when I say that I am after Professor Severus Snape potions teacher of Hogwarts castle" I finished and watched Granny.........watching.....waiting......wondering......Granny is not moving......she is staring at me........she is reaching in her bag......taking out a temperature gauge....coming towards me.....sticking it in my mouth.....takes it out of mouth......sits there and looks....and ...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! (oh dear you better give her an hour) hahahahhahahahahahaaha.
Two hours later
Hahahahahahahahahaha.................i some how think that Granny thinks I am kidding, im not.
"Granny Stop" I shouted
Hahaha "Sorry" she said looking serious again "Snape seriously darling, honest to God, iv'e heard he has never had a bath, at all"
"Well I don't know granny all I know is that I love him, oh MY GOD (did I just say that)" I said.
"Granny looked at me a bit funny, then reached in her handbag again she better not be getting the thermometer out again no she's not. Granny handed a small black device over to me, no bigger than a beetle.
"What is it Granny" I asked holding it and poking at it with my fingers, she then handed me another small set of headphones, now im confused.
"Its a bug" she said
"No its not its a metal box" I replied
"No its a bugging device, you know like James Bond, you can put it on Snape using magic might I add, I don't rate your success doing it manually, and you will know where he is all the time and can hear him and spy on him using the mirror and head set I just gave you,...don't expect anything for your birthday" she added at the end of her little speech. I was speechless.
"Granny where did you get it from" I asked puzzled
"I don't know" she replied " Some guy in Diagon Alley, with a bag of spaghetti sauce at his feet, you know looked like Al Pachino on a bad day".
Ah I might have guessed.
So im back in my room, I left Granny at the pub chatting up an old man, I know have this electronic tracking device which is supposed to work inside of Hogwarts it better do, im going to try it now, why not im not doing anything, okay so the spell Granny gave me.
Deviceus onus Snapeus, oh very clever Granny, right okay.
"Deviceus onus Snapeus!!!"
The little black box disappeared from my hand, I placed the headphones on my head and listened, glancing in my mirror.
A restaurant stood in the glass, Snape was sat at a table he was shouting at an elfy man asking for more turnip, aww that's my boy always eats his vegetables....wait I want to be his lover not his mother...hehe better be careful with what I say. There is a man coming over and sitting down, I can't see his face, its blurred in my mirror, maybe something to do with this stupid device, they are talking and rubbing their arms, I can't really tell, wait the glass is going fuzzy...damn its gone off, I better try it later after all it is nearly bed time, I think I'll get an early night.
During the night.
"No Master No arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" I woke up screaming the shouts the begging in my head was too much, im going crazy oh ohh the sounds the noise its.....coming from my head phones I must have fell asleep wearing them, someone was screaming it sounded like Snape oh God. I grabbed my mirror, looking in it I could just make out Snape's form laid on the floor, but where where, wait, that's the green house, I think he's in the grounds.
I didn't think from that moment I just ran, I ran through the corridors, down the stairs along the third floor and down to the entrance hall....YES!! (I didn't get lost). I ran out into the night, the wind whipping my hair, my feet slipping on the muddy snow. COORR it's cold out here, but im coming my love, the green houses came into view.
I spotted Snape's thin figure by a tree, tears came to my eyes as I reached him, he was whiter than usual.
Oh what do I do what oh God hang on ermm.
ACCIO MADAME POMFREY oh bad idea she has appeared Infront of me rather angry looking, before she could hit me I shouted.
"Snape"
She saw him and went into nurse mode making him disappear Infront of my eyes.
"Get back to the castle, I will see Dumbledore, please go back to your dormitory Professor McGonnagal will be informed.
With that she disappeared leaving me alone in the grounds I was left alone and wondering, alone again as I have been all this long, four months (well not as depressing as all year).
Right today is Tuesday meaning the day I have to go and meet granny in Hogsmeade, aren't I lucky she is going to hate it when she finds out im after Snape.
Snape by the way has been AWOL over Christmas I have not seen hide nor hair of him since Christmas eve when he stormed away from me in the rose garden, he hasn't been attending meals and has not been any where in the castle for me to speak too, I even headed up to his chambers and peered in using my binoculars from the tree outside and he wasn't even there, and I fell out and ripped my dress on a branch and landed on my bum, I haven't been able to sit down at all. Right so red scarf on from granny at Christmas, robes, gloves and .........top hat.....i have no choice not with Granny.
Hogsmeade isn't too bad of a walk away, its just past the gates and up the road, God it's freezing today, getting dragged out in sub arctic conditions to visit my grandma who will be sat in a pub laughing at the thought of me tramping through the snow.......God I hate snow, gets every where, in the cracks.
The three broomsticks is a small crowded pub on the main Hogsmeade road, the bar is tended by Madame Rosemata, (huh) I don't like her, she just uses men, picks them almost like a project, gets them and leaves them, its disgusting, who in their right mind would do that?.
"Becky, hi, what can I get you" Rosemata called to me in her sickly sweet voice (urrgh). Since when did I give her the permission to call me Becky, she's always after the men I like. She's like somebody else I know, Do you remember Ann Winters, yeah that silly cow, she's got it in for my love life I swear, I mean I can pick a cute and sweet lad and try my best to win him over and in she comes swishing her little hips and sticking her big boobs in their faces and suddenly who's Rebecca? In some cases all she has to do is look, or open her vindictive gob to start a shouting match, or to tell some make believe story about her family...sure it's okay for her to make them all sound like psycho maniacs, but when somebody else says anything its, RACIST.
I have picked some of the most unobvious guys ever and still she charms them without meaning too, when you think about if they have too pick between an ordinary intellectual and I may often say amusing girl, and a half Italian supermodel......I'm sure they all want me......NOT.
"Vodka tonic, don't skimp on the rocks", I said smiling.
"Coke then" she replied
Smiling quite sickly at her I sat down in a booth at the back of the room and watched the door, over the heads of the weird...can't quite describe them...sort of people in the room.
Madame Rosemata dropped my coke on the table in front of me I ignored her.
"Honey what's all this what's going on here" I winced and looked up, at the other side of the pub I could see a large purple top hat and a huge pair of glasses perched upon a head of curly orange locks, Ladies Gentlemen and warthogs meet my grandma. She appeared to be gesturing at a man wearing a yellow and green balaclava, at least I think it was it may have been his ..erm..face.
"Granny", I shouted trying to deter her away from the poor offended man.
"Rebecca, honey, the hat I love it, designer" she said wading her way through tables knocking people towards their drinks and friends.
"Oh yes Dolce and Gabbana" I replied...well actually it was on sale at ASDA for £5.99, you have to say these things to keep my granny off your back.
"So how are you, still gorgeous I see" granny said (she is very complimentary)
"How's that young man of yours" she asked (thinking quickly)
"Erm he erm he went well he er died! Yeah that's right he died" I replied (don't ask, too long of a story).
"so who's next" she went on, I think she knows me to well, either that or she is me with grey hair and a beard.
" Look granny if I tell you, you can't tell anyone, (not that she needs too I think everybody knows already), I mean you can't get mad or throw me out the window like you did my brother when you found out about Estelle (incoherent mumbling from granny) so I ask you to stay calm when I say that I am after Professor Severus Snape potions teacher of Hogwarts castle" I finished and watched Granny.........watching.....waiting......wondering......Granny is not moving......she is staring at me........she is reaching in her bag......taking out a temperature gauge....coming towards me.....sticking it in my mouth.....takes it out of mouth......sits there and looks....and ...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!! (oh dear you better give her an hour) hahahahhahahahahahaaha.
Two hours later
Hahahahahahahahahaha.................i some how think that Granny thinks I am kidding, im not.
"Granny Stop" I shouted
Hahaha "Sorry" she said looking serious again "Snape seriously darling, honest to God, iv'e heard he has never had a bath, at all"
"Well I don't know granny all I know is that I love him, oh MY GOD (did I just say that)" I said.
"Granny looked at me a bit funny, then reached in her handbag again she better not be getting the thermometer out again no she's not. Granny handed a small black device over to me, no bigger than a beetle.
"What is it Granny" I asked holding it and poking at it with my fingers, she then handed me another small set of headphones, now im confused.
"Its a bug" she said
"No its not its a metal box" I replied
"No its a bugging device, you know like James Bond, you can put it on Snape using magic might I add, I don't rate your success doing it manually, and you will know where he is all the time and can hear him and spy on him using the mirror and head set I just gave you,...don't expect anything for your birthday" she added at the end of her little speech. I was speechless.
"Granny where did you get it from" I asked puzzled
"I don't know" she replied " Some guy in Diagon Alley, with a bag of spaghetti sauce at his feet, you know looked like Al Pachino on a bad day".
Ah I might have guessed.
So im back in my room, I left Granny at the pub chatting up an old man, I know have this electronic tracking device which is supposed to work inside of Hogwarts it better do, im going to try it now, why not im not doing anything, okay so the spell Granny gave me.
Deviceus onus Snapeus, oh very clever Granny, right okay.
"Deviceus onus Snapeus!!!"
The little black box disappeared from my hand, I placed the headphones on my head and listened, glancing in my mirror.
A restaurant stood in the glass, Snape was sat at a table he was shouting at an elfy man asking for more turnip, aww that's my boy always eats his vegetables....wait I want to be his lover not his mother...hehe better be careful with what I say. There is a man coming over and sitting down, I can't see his face, its blurred in my mirror, maybe something to do with this stupid device, they are talking and rubbing their arms, I can't really tell, wait the glass is going fuzzy...damn its gone off, I better try it later after all it is nearly bed time, I think I'll get an early night.
During the night.
"No Master No arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH" I woke up screaming the shouts the begging in my head was too much, im going crazy oh ohh the sounds the noise its.....coming from my head phones I must have fell asleep wearing them, someone was screaming it sounded like Snape oh God. I grabbed my mirror, looking in it I could just make out Snape's form laid on the floor, but where where, wait, that's the green house, I think he's in the grounds.
I didn't think from that moment I just ran, I ran through the corridors, down the stairs along the third floor and down to the entrance hall....YES!! (I didn't get lost). I ran out into the night, the wind whipping my hair, my feet slipping on the muddy snow. COORR it's cold out here, but im coming my love, the green houses came into view.
I spotted Snape's thin figure by a tree, tears came to my eyes as I reached him, he was whiter than usual.
Oh what do I do what oh God hang on ermm.
ACCIO MADAME POMFREY oh bad idea she has appeared Infront of me rather angry looking, before she could hit me I shouted.
"Snape"
She saw him and went into nurse mode making him disappear Infront of my eyes.
"Get back to the castle, I will see Dumbledore, please go back to your dormitory Professor McGonnagal will be informed.
With that she disappeared leaving me alone in the grounds I was left alone and wondering, alone again as I have been all this long, four months (well not as depressing as all year).