Author's note: I don't own HM, Natsume does. Okay. However, all the ideas in this story belong to me. (Well, mostly.) anyways, thanks to all those kind people who reviewed! Yay! Now I have enough reviews to buy…an actual collection hat! (Hurls away tin mug) now without further ado, let us begin the story! Yay! I've decided that there will be 3 main villains which will come back repeatedly, while some episodes may feature other villains that will appear once or twice in the series.
The Chronicles of Farmerman:
Episode 6: why you should never be a workaholic (Part 2)
Narrator: (Me!) now let us imagine ourselves in some world.
(Click)
Narrator: now let us focus in, on a small town next to a mountain.
(Click)
Narrator: Now let us zoom in, into the interior of Mineral Clinic, the examining room to be precise.
(Click)
Narrator: STOP!
(Camera moves into the Clinic. We see the Doctor sitting behind the examining table, whistling a strange tune.)
Jeff's Voice: (from outside) it hurts…!
Elli's Voice: Doctor! Doctor!
(The Doctor props himself up in his chair. Jeff stumbles in, clutching his stomach, followed by Elli.)
Doctor: (forms a tent with his hands) Gastric problems again, Jeff?
Jeff: (evidently in a lot of pain) I think so…
Doctor: (talking a pill bottle from Elli) well, take these three times dail-hey, this isn't Jeff's medicine!
Elli: (looking worried) you're right…I'll go get it…(retrieves the pill bottle and leaves)
Jeff: am I going to be all right? (Groans)
Doctor: actually, there's a revolutionary new procedure that can cure your condition permanently…
Jeff: (looking up) really?
Doctor: yes. It's completely new… you just need to sign this form. (Hands Jeff a sheet of paper.)
(Jeff takes the paper and reads it. Camera zooms onto the sheet of paper. It reads: )
I, Jeff, hereby give the brilliant and amazingly genius-like Dr. Doctor full permission to perform highly experimental medical procedures on me. By signing this form, I understand that I am freeing Dr. Doctor of all liability and possible lawsuits concerning anything that may happen to me during this operation. These risks include, but are not limited to, the following possible occurrences:
-Mild injury
-Moderate injury
-Severe injury
-Crippling injury
-Life-threatening injury
-Severed limbs
-Accidental or intentional separation of torso from legs
-Accidental or intentional separation of head from neck
-Loss of sight
-Loss of hearing
-Loss of other 3 senses
-Death by heat stroke
-Death by freezing
-Death by homicide
-Death by suicide
-Death by blood loss
-Death by infection
-Death by disease
-Death by heart failure
-Death by brain failure
-Death by liver failure
-Death by lung failure
-Death by kidney failure
-Death by choking
-Death by drowning
-Death by starvation
-Death by dehydration
-Death by some sorta animal killing you
-Death by gangrene
-Death by SARS
-Death by total explosion of body
-Death by total implosion of body
-Death by spontaneously bursting into flame somehow
-Death by paper cuts
-Death by knife cuts
-Death by bullets getting shot into you…from a gun
-Death by any other form of death possible
I understand these risks and submit to Dr. Doctor's experiment.
Jeff's Signature:
Thank you for your volunteering yourself for death…I mean a new revolutionary operation.
(Jeff pales noticeably)
Doctor: (grinning slightly) that's all there is to it. Nothing to worry about.
Jeff: I-I think I'll stick to the pills, please.
Doctor: (raises eyebrow) oh? Your loss, I suppose…
Narrator: meanwhile, outside the examining office…
(The scene switches to outside the examining office. Elli is in her usual place behind the front desk, while Jack is leaning on the other side of the counter.)
Elli: (burying her head in her hands) I can't believe this…how could I make such a mistake? Will I ever be a good nurse?
(Inside Jack's mind)
Emotion: (waving her arms wildly) look! Look! She's obviously suffering from a bout of low self-esteem! Do something, say something! Cheer her up!
Logic: there would indeed be something to be gained from raising the spirits of this poor soul. Especially so, when all we wanted to do was to buy a bodigizer.
Caution: this is one of those moments where things could go either way, either into bliss or utter chaos.
Lust: will it help me get some.
Narrator: and as such, the final result is…
Jack: don't worry, I'm sure you'll make a fine nurse. Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while.
Elli: (looking down) um…thanks for trying to cheer me up…
Jack: (looks down also) um…
Elli: yes?
Jack: actually…I'm sorry for throwing up muddy water all over your nice blue dress and apron…
Elli: it's alright…I actually didn't mind it when you called me…
Jack: (coughs nervously) actually…
Voice of the Harvest Goddess: (in Jack's mind) sorry to spoil this, but you're needed as of now.
Jack: (thinking) but…
Voice of the Harvest Goddess: it's all right. I'll grant you a wish later…or would you rather save Little Stu, who has fallen into the sea?
Jack: (finishing up) ihavetogoquicklyi'mneededsomwhere,bye!
(Jack runs out of the clinic, a slightly embarrassed Elli staring at his retreating form.)
Narrator: a few hours later…
(The scene changes to behind the church. Jack is busy squeezing salty water out of his cape.)
Jack: (mumbling to self) stupid Stu…now my costume is soggy…(squeezes some more water out of the mask)
(Flashback)
(Scene shows Jack fishing off the pier at Mineral Beach. An exclamation mark appears over his head.)
Mysterious Voice: you fished a Stu. It's 1M 30 cm big.
Assorted Townspeople behind Jack: yay!
Stu: (hugging Jack and getting his costume all wet) thank you, Farmerman! Can you make a cow I could ride?
Jack: …
(End Flashback)
Voice of Harvest Goddess: (In Jack's mind) Jack!
Jack: (groans) what? Can't I at least squeeze this salt water out of my costume first?
Voice of Harvest Goddess: not now, Jack! I sense a new evil arising…something to do with HUGGLES.
Jack: huh? HUGGLES? What's that?
Voice of Harvest Goddess: look, you're supposed to be my Avatar, okay? Two weeks off is enough for you! Now get to the Clinic!
Jack: what? The clinic? Oh no! Elli! (Runs off)
Harvest Goddess: (appearing out of nowhere and watching Jack run off) you know, it's really easy to control someone once you find out what they really want.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: what evil is Dr. Doctor up to? What does HUGGLES stand for? Is it dangerous? Will Jack, also known as Farmerman, be able to stop whatever nefarious deeds Dr. Doctor is up to? Find out in the next episode of…The Chronicles Of Farmerman!
The Chronicles of Farmerman:
Episode 6: why you should never be a workaholic (Part 2)
Narrator: (Me!) now let us imagine ourselves in some world.
(Click)
Narrator: now let us focus in, on a small town next to a mountain.
(Click)
Narrator: Now let us zoom in, into the interior of Mineral Clinic, the examining room to be precise.
(Click)
Narrator: STOP!
(Camera moves into the Clinic. We see the Doctor sitting behind the examining table, whistling a strange tune.)
Jeff's Voice: (from outside) it hurts…!
Elli's Voice: Doctor! Doctor!
(The Doctor props himself up in his chair. Jeff stumbles in, clutching his stomach, followed by Elli.)
Doctor: (forms a tent with his hands) Gastric problems again, Jeff?
Jeff: (evidently in a lot of pain) I think so…
Doctor: (talking a pill bottle from Elli) well, take these three times dail-hey, this isn't Jeff's medicine!
Elli: (looking worried) you're right…I'll go get it…(retrieves the pill bottle and leaves)
Jeff: am I going to be all right? (Groans)
Doctor: actually, there's a revolutionary new procedure that can cure your condition permanently…
Jeff: (looking up) really?
Doctor: yes. It's completely new… you just need to sign this form. (Hands Jeff a sheet of paper.)
(Jeff takes the paper and reads it. Camera zooms onto the sheet of paper. It reads: )
I, Jeff, hereby give the brilliant and amazingly genius-like Dr. Doctor full permission to perform highly experimental medical procedures on me. By signing this form, I understand that I am freeing Dr. Doctor of all liability and possible lawsuits concerning anything that may happen to me during this operation. These risks include, but are not limited to, the following possible occurrences:
-Mild injury
-Moderate injury
-Severe injury
-Crippling injury
-Life-threatening injury
-Severed limbs
-Accidental or intentional separation of torso from legs
-Accidental or intentional separation of head from neck
-Loss of sight
-Loss of hearing
-Loss of other 3 senses
-Death by heat stroke
-Death by freezing
-Death by homicide
-Death by suicide
-Death by blood loss
-Death by infection
-Death by disease
-Death by heart failure
-Death by brain failure
-Death by liver failure
-Death by lung failure
-Death by kidney failure
-Death by choking
-Death by drowning
-Death by starvation
-Death by dehydration
-Death by some sorta animal killing you
-Death by gangrene
-Death by SARS
-Death by total explosion of body
-Death by total implosion of body
-Death by spontaneously bursting into flame somehow
-Death by paper cuts
-Death by knife cuts
-Death by bullets getting shot into you…from a gun
-Death by any other form of death possible
I understand these risks and submit to Dr. Doctor's experiment.
Jeff's Signature:
Thank you for your volunteering yourself for death…I mean a new revolutionary operation.
(Jeff pales noticeably)
Doctor: (grinning slightly) that's all there is to it. Nothing to worry about.
Jeff: I-I think I'll stick to the pills, please.
Doctor: (raises eyebrow) oh? Your loss, I suppose…
Narrator: meanwhile, outside the examining office…
(The scene switches to outside the examining office. Elli is in her usual place behind the front desk, while Jack is leaning on the other side of the counter.)
Elli: (burying her head in her hands) I can't believe this…how could I make such a mistake? Will I ever be a good nurse?
(Inside Jack's mind)
Emotion: (waving her arms wildly) look! Look! She's obviously suffering from a bout of low self-esteem! Do something, say something! Cheer her up!
Logic: there would indeed be something to be gained from raising the spirits of this poor soul. Especially so, when all we wanted to do was to buy a bodigizer.
Caution: this is one of those moments where things could go either way, either into bliss or utter chaos.
Lust: will it help me get some.
Narrator: and as such, the final result is…
Jack: don't worry, I'm sure you'll make a fine nurse. Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while.
Elli: (looking down) um…thanks for trying to cheer me up…
Jack: (looks down also) um…
Elli: yes?
Jack: actually…I'm sorry for throwing up muddy water all over your nice blue dress and apron…
Elli: it's alright…I actually didn't mind it when you called me…
Jack: (coughs nervously) actually…
Voice of the Harvest Goddess: (in Jack's mind) sorry to spoil this, but you're needed as of now.
Jack: (thinking) but…
Voice of the Harvest Goddess: it's all right. I'll grant you a wish later…or would you rather save Little Stu, who has fallen into the sea?
Jack: (finishing up) ihavetogoquicklyi'mneededsomwhere,bye!
(Jack runs out of the clinic, a slightly embarrassed Elli staring at his retreating form.)
Narrator: a few hours later…
(The scene changes to behind the church. Jack is busy squeezing salty water out of his cape.)
Jack: (mumbling to self) stupid Stu…now my costume is soggy…(squeezes some more water out of the mask)
(Flashback)
(Scene shows Jack fishing off the pier at Mineral Beach. An exclamation mark appears over his head.)
Mysterious Voice: you fished a Stu. It's 1M 30 cm big.
Assorted Townspeople behind Jack: yay!
Stu: (hugging Jack and getting his costume all wet) thank you, Farmerman! Can you make a cow I could ride?
Jack: …
(End Flashback)
Voice of Harvest Goddess: (In Jack's mind) Jack!
Jack: (groans) what? Can't I at least squeeze this salt water out of my costume first?
Voice of Harvest Goddess: not now, Jack! I sense a new evil arising…something to do with HUGGLES.
Jack: huh? HUGGLES? What's that?
Voice of Harvest Goddess: look, you're supposed to be my Avatar, okay? Two weeks off is enough for you! Now get to the Clinic!
Jack: what? The clinic? Oh no! Elli! (Runs off)
Harvest Goddess: (appearing out of nowhere and watching Jack run off) you know, it's really easy to control someone once you find out what they really want.
(Camera fades out)
Narrator: what evil is Dr. Doctor up to? What does HUGGLES stand for? Is it dangerous? Will Jack, also known as Farmerman, be able to stop whatever nefarious deeds Dr. Doctor is up to? Find out in the next episode of…The Chronicles Of Farmerman!