Faint
A/n: New chapter for ya. Sorry for the long wait! I've actually had this sitting in my file since last Friday(13!), all done, but I spent some time fixing it a bit so everything corresponded and there were no grammar or spelling errors, at least I hope there aren't. Enjoy! ^_^
Raking my hands through my hair for the hundredth time, I glanced at the clock, Max said he, Tyson and Rei were going out to the store, and he mentioned something about Tyson getting his sugary cereal. For the last couple hours, I'd been thinking about what happened, I mean, with Rei and me. I know I still love him and I just.... I just lost it this morning, I can't believe I almost hit him. What's wrong with me?!
I struck out towards the wall, leaving a small dent in the pasty coloured flat surface. Maybe I ought to just end it all, I totally fucked up this thing I had with Rei, he obviously wants nothing to do with me, why the fuck am I putting myself through this?! Pacing around the room, I kicked in the drawers, and just chucked whatever I found lying around, which wasn't much, considering Rei would not tolerate a mess for very long. It was like he was allergic to untidyness and mess. The thought made me grin. Though, still pissed off, I probably looked sadistic like that.
I went along just chucking things about- I had to do something, I was going out of my mind. At least if I made a mess, I could worry about cleaning it up before Rei got back and not about my relationship troubles. Now I didn't normally go through Rei's stuff, ever; we had this agreement, he doesn't go through my stuff and I don't go through his. We both liked our privacy like that. For some reason though, one thing I picked up, as I stalked around the room, notibly starting to perspire (it was warm in there!), was a little white furry notebook. Obviously it was Rei's, there's no way anyone else would own something that feminine, not that Rei was extremely feminine or anything ( 'well maybe a little,' I thought with a grin), but he was the only one with a girl who constantly attached herself to him whenever he had the unfortunate luck of running into her. The though made me growl low in the back of my throat, stupid pink haired whench! Current jealousy put aside, I looked at the book, and flipped the pages through. He wrote a lot. I'm pretty sure this was his 'journal' as he called it, the pages were adorned with flowery writing, I swear he writes like one of those amazing, writing-talented English teachers; the book was nearly half filled. (A/n: Just for simplicity's sake, let's just say he wrote in a common languague, that Kai would also be able to read, not necessarily English, but whatever you'd think it would be)
I caught a glimpse of my name, I like how he wrote it, nevermind I like how he says it, almost like he says it with special care. I trailed my fingers over the carefully written enscription and wondered why he bothered to even write this stuff down, whatever it is he wrote. I began thinking....well, maybe if I just have a little look, I mean, it's not like he's ever hidden anything from me before, but I mean, we're technically not together anymore....but......maybe just a quick peek. I flipped through the pages, gazing from the oldest to the newest dates, the writing seemed a little sloppier as of late, it made me curious. I glanced at a couple of pictures that slipped out from the inside cover, one was of myself and Rei. It was fall time, and we'd been out for a walk that day, I remember, and we started throwing leaves at one another. Then that pink haired whench came out of nowhere and caught a snapshot. She then proceeded to run away from a cursing, and most notibly pissed off Rei, claiming once he caught her, she'd never have the shame to face 'the family' again. It was then that she knew about us, getting the picture of us........in a liplock was her proof. After that it was awkward with us, but I never liked her in the first place, she still believed, months after that, that she'd 'win' Rei back one day. I chuckled at the thought.
The other pictures were of Rei as a baby, very cute, I must admit, Rei and Mao as children playing together, and a snapshot of Rei's first team- the White Tigers. I was tracing my fingers over the inscriptions of the years on the back, when I heard a sudden rumble. I glanced up to see out the window-raindrops beginning to fall, and the grey sky looming darkly above. I wondered when the group would be back, I wonder how Rei is...
I was about to put the little book down, when I noticed a particular page, dated quite recently, but what was really noticeable was the dried wet marks on the page. I ignored the voice telling me to stop where I was and pretend I never saw anything, but I just had to read it. It wrote:
'Journal from Hell,
Yes, that's what I'm calling you now. Mao called me today, asking how I was(she knew about Kai and me), ever since Kai...left. She also asked how well her little 'gift' was, meaning you, stupid piece of crap. Anyway, I told her I was fine, and then we got into a fight; she was whining about how I don't have to be such a jerk to her and that I ought not to take my anger out on her, that's why she got this for me in the first place. But fuck! Does she seriously expect this to help?! It just reminds me of Kai, fuck everything reminds me of that hot bastard. There I go again, I should seriously start going to rehab or some kind of therapy, maybe it'll help me sanity level, which seems to go further down the tube everyday. I haven't eaten in a few days, everytime I try to, I can't keep it down. I don't even remember the last good sleep I got. Depression sucks, note to self: go buy some prozac.
Anyway, now I've screwed myself over, succeeding in scaring Mao off, even though she was the most annoying thing that ever plagued the earth, she was there to listen at times when all I could do is cry. And now, I think the other guys are catching on that something's wrong. I really hope not, it's hard enough to hide the fact that I'm 'different', nevermind that a certain secret relationship got totally fucked up. It's probably my fault anyway, maybe I was just too high maintainence or something, or he just had to get on with his life, like I was holding him back from achieving his goals.
Well must go now... I think I need a new pillow to sob on, and some prozac... and some hot chocolate....fuck.... thinking about 'him' again. Shit not this again... I'm going to find some permanent way to stop crying one day, and that 'Kai- like' ability to show no emotion, but I've gotten this far.
Sincerely, The Fool (Kon Rei) '
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
*~*~*
Shit!
I cursed as I realized what I was doing now, what was I doing? I was spying that's what I was doing. I can't believe this, I fucked up the relationship, betrayed Rei's trust, abandoned him for my own selfish ambition and now I'm spying through his personal thoughts. He's too good for me. The guilt made me sick, maybe I should end it all.
I blinked away any visible emotion from my eyes, as I shut the journal, and put it down carelessly. I raked my fingers through my hair as I threw myself back on the bed, welcoming the darkness that followed as my eyes closed. And all I could think was: Fuck.
*()*()*()*
It was almost three o'clock by the time we left the store, and all I could think was, 'What a bloody waste of time!' I couldn't help but grin though, Tyson..... was certainly one of a kind, though I cannot see the attraction with him and Max, I mean it's obvious they like each other, well I know certainly Max likes him, but as for why, I could not figure out. It was one those things that happens without rhyme or reason. You couldn't help it, there was something you were so drawn to and it made sense to you, but try to explain it to someone else and it comes out as incoherent blabber. It simply didn't add up.
Max however, managed to keep me from getting too annoyed, I know I'm supposed to be the calm reserved one, but lately my emotions have just been so messed up, I guess no one knows what I'll do now. I suppose I've lost my quality of predictability, guess that's what happens when you hang around someone so unpredictable...... or at least did. 'Shut up shut up shut up,' I thought repeatedly to myself, 'Gotta be strong, can't cry my life away.'
I pushed my bangs back for the hundredth time, trying desperately to tuck them behind my ears, unfortunately some of them are too short to do that. I guess that's what happens when you try to cut your own hair...... let's just say, I've never liked hairdressers.
As we clambored onto the crowded, smelly bus, I stood against one of the pole supports and held on. My gaze drifted from the various people residing with my friends and I on the public bus, and wondered what their lives were like. Perhaps not really unlike mine and the other Bladebreakers; I mean we all have quirks and talents, even if it's something as simple as being able to eat inhumane amounts of food, or having a large amount of tolerance or a strong, unbreakable heart.
My gaze drifted again, noting the dark rain clouds fast approaching outside the window. We're probably going to get soaked. I mean we've still got to walk from the bus stop to home. As we went from bus stop to bus stop, Max tugged on my bound hair, and ushered me to sit down beside him. I gave him a small smile, and sat.
"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked curiously.
"Nothing, just thinking. What do you think we'll do once we're finished being the 'Bladebreakers'? I mean what'll we do afterwards?"
The fair blond scratched his chin in thought, before responding, "Well, we'll probably split apart for awhile, then we'll go to college or university, find really great jobs, become rich," he added with a grin. "And then find each other years later, confess our love to our first crushes, get married and live happily ever after."
I grinned and just shook my head, "I wish life were that perfect."
I gazed out the window and noted the heavy raindrops splashing outside, and the rumble of thunder in the near distance. Suddenly I felt worried about something, I'm not sure what, but it just kind of snuck up on me. I felt a great loss, but I no idea what it was about. I shook the eery thought out of my head, 'Just be calm,' I thought.
Max glanced at me, and grinned, "So, you're gonna kick Kai out yourself? 'Sure you don't want any help? I'm sure Tyson wouldn't pass up the opportunity, eh Tyson?"
Tyson was currently cradeling his cereal box, as he spied around at the intruding company in the crowded bus. But hearing Max's voice brought him out of his reverie.
"Hm?"
"I said, you wouldn't mind getting Kai out of Rei's room would you?"
"Nah, sure I'll help," he said with a grin.
I shook my head again, "It's fine, thanks though."
It was 3:30 by the time we finally arrived. I slipped off my shoes and placed them neatly along side the others'. I shivered involuntarily and rubbed my cold hands together. As the other two went into the kitchen, Tyson claiming it was what he termed as 'lupper'(between lunch and supper), I made my way tip-toeing up the stairs. I was pretty sure Kai had cooled down by now, I think I'd be able to talk to him now.
I padded down the gloomy hallway, and pressed my hands along the door. I opened it quietly and peeked through the small opening. I heard the soft noises of Kai's breathing, and saw the dark figure on the bed. He was asleep! That was weird, he wasn't one to settle down for a catnap. He must've been really tired, or stressed out or worried about something.
I bit my lip, what would he be concerned about? Maybe he really was sorry, maybe Max was really right, not that I thought him a liar, but Kai on the verge of tears is as unbelievable as Tyson not being hungry. I wandered in, and quietly circled the sleeping figure. He looked so angelic. You never thought he could be hurtful or cold when he was in this state of total relaxation, that deep sleep.
I looked around at the disarray of the room, guess that's what he'd been doing all day. I began picking up the things lying about, when I noticed a couple of photos on the floor. They were the ones in my journal. What were these doing out? Kai never goes into my things.......no he wouldn't, we had an agreement, or before at least we did, he wouldn't. No.
My journal was out. It was opened to a recent page. Namely my journal was out! NO! I couldn't believe it, my journal was out, Kai was the only home, and my journal wasn't out before I left. He read my journal! That was private!
He betrayed my trust! My knees wobbled, this was too much, and I collapsed in a heap on the floor. Moments later. I heard a ruffling, through my silent tears, and turned to see Kai's confused face. It was cute, but I was too distraught to note it. I turned away as he came closer and placed a pale hand on my shoulder. He was warm.
"You're cold," he said, feeling the coolness of the rain that had chilled me.
"So are you," I retorted sniffling.
He scrunched up his features, and looked down at the floor, until his eyes landed on what I was holding in my hand. My journal. My betrayed trust. I glared at him as he looked back into my eyes, and instead of doing what I'd expected, his eyes softened and he stood.
He stumbled into the washroom and remained there. 'Good,' I thought, 'Like a time out.'
I collapsed on to the bed, breathing in and cursing his scent that lingered still, and rubbed my temples. How did this happen? How did it get so far that I couldn't fix it?
I've always been able to fix anything, to do with relationships that is, but this, it's like it spiraled even out of my control.
I grabbed at my journal I'd tossed on the night table, and flipped through the pages. One of my newest entries, a week old. It was the one that was creased, I suppose that's what he must've read, and seen the pictures of course, but those didn't bother me so much.
I read through my breached journal entry and sighed. Maybe I should be the one to forgive and forget. I glanced out the window, the hard rain mesmorizing as it fell from the gloomy, grey sky. I pulled a warm duvet blanket over me, shivering slightly and allowed my eyes to close.
*~*~*~*~*
A/n: Well hope this was okay, probably one of the longest chapters as of yet, and the next will most likely be the longest and probably the last. Thank you everyone for all the wonderful reviews of the previous chapters, I really appreciate them! I will respond to all your reviews in the next chapter hopefully, because unfortunately certain EVIL computer sites will not allow me to access the search or any other damned part of my friggin FILE, so I can go over all my reviews * coughcoughff.netcoughcough *. I'm SO sorry I can't reply in this chapter, but thank you so much for all your reviews, I really really appreciate them, and I will definitely reply to them in the next chapter. I hope this update was okay, as for the story, yes I've made sure it was angsty, but I am certainly not fond of sad endings nor am I of unfairness * hint hint *. Lol, thanks again, please R&R! ^_^ Love you guys! BTW: Does anyone want another story after this, like a third part of the story, or should I just end it off in this fic? Maybe if I make a goal to update at least once a week? It's just I just realized how much I drew out this down-part of the relationship, and I could bring it back together more fully in another fic, and not just end this one off with, 'they both said sorry and lived happily together ever after.' Well lemme know what you think please.
Keisan
A/n: New chapter for ya. Sorry for the long wait! I've actually had this sitting in my file since last Friday(13!), all done, but I spent some time fixing it a bit so everything corresponded and there were no grammar or spelling errors, at least I hope there aren't. Enjoy! ^_^
Raking my hands through my hair for the hundredth time, I glanced at the clock, Max said he, Tyson and Rei were going out to the store, and he mentioned something about Tyson getting his sugary cereal. For the last couple hours, I'd been thinking about what happened, I mean, with Rei and me. I know I still love him and I just.... I just lost it this morning, I can't believe I almost hit him. What's wrong with me?!
I struck out towards the wall, leaving a small dent in the pasty coloured flat surface. Maybe I ought to just end it all, I totally fucked up this thing I had with Rei, he obviously wants nothing to do with me, why the fuck am I putting myself through this?! Pacing around the room, I kicked in the drawers, and just chucked whatever I found lying around, which wasn't much, considering Rei would not tolerate a mess for very long. It was like he was allergic to untidyness and mess. The thought made me grin. Though, still pissed off, I probably looked sadistic like that.
I went along just chucking things about- I had to do something, I was going out of my mind. At least if I made a mess, I could worry about cleaning it up before Rei got back and not about my relationship troubles. Now I didn't normally go through Rei's stuff, ever; we had this agreement, he doesn't go through my stuff and I don't go through his. We both liked our privacy like that. For some reason though, one thing I picked up, as I stalked around the room, notibly starting to perspire (it was warm in there!), was a little white furry notebook. Obviously it was Rei's, there's no way anyone else would own something that feminine, not that Rei was extremely feminine or anything ( 'well maybe a little,' I thought with a grin), but he was the only one with a girl who constantly attached herself to him whenever he had the unfortunate luck of running into her. The though made me growl low in the back of my throat, stupid pink haired whench! Current jealousy put aside, I looked at the book, and flipped the pages through. He wrote a lot. I'm pretty sure this was his 'journal' as he called it, the pages were adorned with flowery writing, I swear he writes like one of those amazing, writing-talented English teachers; the book was nearly half filled. (A/n: Just for simplicity's sake, let's just say he wrote in a common languague, that Kai would also be able to read, not necessarily English, but whatever you'd think it would be)
I caught a glimpse of my name, I like how he wrote it, nevermind I like how he says it, almost like he says it with special care. I trailed my fingers over the carefully written enscription and wondered why he bothered to even write this stuff down, whatever it is he wrote. I began thinking....well, maybe if I just have a little look, I mean, it's not like he's ever hidden anything from me before, but I mean, we're technically not together anymore....but......maybe just a quick peek. I flipped through the pages, gazing from the oldest to the newest dates, the writing seemed a little sloppier as of late, it made me curious. I glanced at a couple of pictures that slipped out from the inside cover, one was of myself and Rei. It was fall time, and we'd been out for a walk that day, I remember, and we started throwing leaves at one another. Then that pink haired whench came out of nowhere and caught a snapshot. She then proceeded to run away from a cursing, and most notibly pissed off Rei, claiming once he caught her, she'd never have the shame to face 'the family' again. It was then that she knew about us, getting the picture of us........in a liplock was her proof. After that it was awkward with us, but I never liked her in the first place, she still believed, months after that, that she'd 'win' Rei back one day. I chuckled at the thought.
The other pictures were of Rei as a baby, very cute, I must admit, Rei and Mao as children playing together, and a snapshot of Rei's first team- the White Tigers. I was tracing my fingers over the inscriptions of the years on the back, when I heard a sudden rumble. I glanced up to see out the window-raindrops beginning to fall, and the grey sky looming darkly above. I wondered when the group would be back, I wonder how Rei is...
I was about to put the little book down, when I noticed a particular page, dated quite recently, but what was really noticeable was the dried wet marks on the page. I ignored the voice telling me to stop where I was and pretend I never saw anything, but I just had to read it. It wrote:
'Journal from Hell,
Yes, that's what I'm calling you now. Mao called me today, asking how I was(she knew about Kai and me), ever since Kai...left. She also asked how well her little 'gift' was, meaning you, stupid piece of crap. Anyway, I told her I was fine, and then we got into a fight; she was whining about how I don't have to be such a jerk to her and that I ought not to take my anger out on her, that's why she got this for me in the first place. But fuck! Does she seriously expect this to help?! It just reminds me of Kai, fuck everything reminds me of that hot bastard. There I go again, I should seriously start going to rehab or some kind of therapy, maybe it'll help me sanity level, which seems to go further down the tube everyday. I haven't eaten in a few days, everytime I try to, I can't keep it down. I don't even remember the last good sleep I got. Depression sucks, note to self: go buy some prozac.
Anyway, now I've screwed myself over, succeeding in scaring Mao off, even though she was the most annoying thing that ever plagued the earth, she was there to listen at times when all I could do is cry. And now, I think the other guys are catching on that something's wrong. I really hope not, it's hard enough to hide the fact that I'm 'different', nevermind that a certain secret relationship got totally fucked up. It's probably my fault anyway, maybe I was just too high maintainence or something, or he just had to get on with his life, like I was holding him back from achieving his goals.
Well must go now... I think I need a new pillow to sob on, and some prozac... and some hot chocolate....fuck.... thinking about 'him' again. Shit not this again... I'm going to find some permanent way to stop crying one day, and that 'Kai- like' ability to show no emotion, but I've gotten this far.
Sincerely, The Fool (Kon Rei) '
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
*~*~*
Shit!
I cursed as I realized what I was doing now, what was I doing? I was spying that's what I was doing. I can't believe this, I fucked up the relationship, betrayed Rei's trust, abandoned him for my own selfish ambition and now I'm spying through his personal thoughts. He's too good for me. The guilt made me sick, maybe I should end it all.
I blinked away any visible emotion from my eyes, as I shut the journal, and put it down carelessly. I raked my fingers through my hair as I threw myself back on the bed, welcoming the darkness that followed as my eyes closed. And all I could think was: Fuck.
*()*()*()*
It was almost three o'clock by the time we left the store, and all I could think was, 'What a bloody waste of time!' I couldn't help but grin though, Tyson..... was certainly one of a kind, though I cannot see the attraction with him and Max, I mean it's obvious they like each other, well I know certainly Max likes him, but as for why, I could not figure out. It was one those things that happens without rhyme or reason. You couldn't help it, there was something you were so drawn to and it made sense to you, but try to explain it to someone else and it comes out as incoherent blabber. It simply didn't add up.
Max however, managed to keep me from getting too annoyed, I know I'm supposed to be the calm reserved one, but lately my emotions have just been so messed up, I guess no one knows what I'll do now. I suppose I've lost my quality of predictability, guess that's what happens when you hang around someone so unpredictable...... or at least did. 'Shut up shut up shut up,' I thought repeatedly to myself, 'Gotta be strong, can't cry my life away.'
I pushed my bangs back for the hundredth time, trying desperately to tuck them behind my ears, unfortunately some of them are too short to do that. I guess that's what happens when you try to cut your own hair...... let's just say, I've never liked hairdressers.
As we clambored onto the crowded, smelly bus, I stood against one of the pole supports and held on. My gaze drifted from the various people residing with my friends and I on the public bus, and wondered what their lives were like. Perhaps not really unlike mine and the other Bladebreakers; I mean we all have quirks and talents, even if it's something as simple as being able to eat inhumane amounts of food, or having a large amount of tolerance or a strong, unbreakable heart.
My gaze drifted again, noting the dark rain clouds fast approaching outside the window. We're probably going to get soaked. I mean we've still got to walk from the bus stop to home. As we went from bus stop to bus stop, Max tugged on my bound hair, and ushered me to sit down beside him. I gave him a small smile, and sat.
"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked curiously.
"Nothing, just thinking. What do you think we'll do once we're finished being the 'Bladebreakers'? I mean what'll we do afterwards?"
The fair blond scratched his chin in thought, before responding, "Well, we'll probably split apart for awhile, then we'll go to college or university, find really great jobs, become rich," he added with a grin. "And then find each other years later, confess our love to our first crushes, get married and live happily ever after."
I grinned and just shook my head, "I wish life were that perfect."
I gazed out the window and noted the heavy raindrops splashing outside, and the rumble of thunder in the near distance. Suddenly I felt worried about something, I'm not sure what, but it just kind of snuck up on me. I felt a great loss, but I no idea what it was about. I shook the eery thought out of my head, 'Just be calm,' I thought.
Max glanced at me, and grinned, "So, you're gonna kick Kai out yourself? 'Sure you don't want any help? I'm sure Tyson wouldn't pass up the opportunity, eh Tyson?"
Tyson was currently cradeling his cereal box, as he spied around at the intruding company in the crowded bus. But hearing Max's voice brought him out of his reverie.
"Hm?"
"I said, you wouldn't mind getting Kai out of Rei's room would you?"
"Nah, sure I'll help," he said with a grin.
I shook my head again, "It's fine, thanks though."
It was 3:30 by the time we finally arrived. I slipped off my shoes and placed them neatly along side the others'. I shivered involuntarily and rubbed my cold hands together. As the other two went into the kitchen, Tyson claiming it was what he termed as 'lupper'(between lunch and supper), I made my way tip-toeing up the stairs. I was pretty sure Kai had cooled down by now, I think I'd be able to talk to him now.
I padded down the gloomy hallway, and pressed my hands along the door. I opened it quietly and peeked through the small opening. I heard the soft noises of Kai's breathing, and saw the dark figure on the bed. He was asleep! That was weird, he wasn't one to settle down for a catnap. He must've been really tired, or stressed out or worried about something.
I bit my lip, what would he be concerned about? Maybe he really was sorry, maybe Max was really right, not that I thought him a liar, but Kai on the verge of tears is as unbelievable as Tyson not being hungry. I wandered in, and quietly circled the sleeping figure. He looked so angelic. You never thought he could be hurtful or cold when he was in this state of total relaxation, that deep sleep.
I looked around at the disarray of the room, guess that's what he'd been doing all day. I began picking up the things lying about, when I noticed a couple of photos on the floor. They were the ones in my journal. What were these doing out? Kai never goes into my things.......no he wouldn't, we had an agreement, or before at least we did, he wouldn't. No.
My journal was out. It was opened to a recent page. Namely my journal was out! NO! I couldn't believe it, my journal was out, Kai was the only home, and my journal wasn't out before I left. He read my journal! That was private!
He betrayed my trust! My knees wobbled, this was too much, and I collapsed in a heap on the floor. Moments later. I heard a ruffling, through my silent tears, and turned to see Kai's confused face. It was cute, but I was too distraught to note it. I turned away as he came closer and placed a pale hand on my shoulder. He was warm.
"You're cold," he said, feeling the coolness of the rain that had chilled me.
"So are you," I retorted sniffling.
He scrunched up his features, and looked down at the floor, until his eyes landed on what I was holding in my hand. My journal. My betrayed trust. I glared at him as he looked back into my eyes, and instead of doing what I'd expected, his eyes softened and he stood.
He stumbled into the washroom and remained there. 'Good,' I thought, 'Like a time out.'
I collapsed on to the bed, breathing in and cursing his scent that lingered still, and rubbed my temples. How did this happen? How did it get so far that I couldn't fix it?
I've always been able to fix anything, to do with relationships that is, but this, it's like it spiraled even out of my control.
I grabbed at my journal I'd tossed on the night table, and flipped through the pages. One of my newest entries, a week old. It was the one that was creased, I suppose that's what he must've read, and seen the pictures of course, but those didn't bother me so much.
I read through my breached journal entry and sighed. Maybe I should be the one to forgive and forget. I glanced out the window, the hard rain mesmorizing as it fell from the gloomy, grey sky. I pulled a warm duvet blanket over me, shivering slightly and allowed my eyes to close.
*~*~*~*~*
A/n: Well hope this was okay, probably one of the longest chapters as of yet, and the next will most likely be the longest and probably the last. Thank you everyone for all the wonderful reviews of the previous chapters, I really appreciate them! I will respond to all your reviews in the next chapter hopefully, because unfortunately certain EVIL computer sites will not allow me to access the search or any other damned part of my friggin FILE, so I can go over all my reviews * coughcoughff.netcoughcough *. I'm SO sorry I can't reply in this chapter, but thank you so much for all your reviews, I really really appreciate them, and I will definitely reply to them in the next chapter. I hope this update was okay, as for the story, yes I've made sure it was angsty, but I am certainly not fond of sad endings nor am I of unfairness * hint hint *. Lol, thanks again, please R&R! ^_^ Love you guys! BTW: Does anyone want another story after this, like a third part of the story, or should I just end it off in this fic? Maybe if I make a goal to update at least once a week? It's just I just realized how much I drew out this down-part of the relationship, and I could bring it back together more fully in another fic, and not just end this one off with, 'they both said sorry and lived happily together ever after.' Well lemme know what you think please.
Keisan