Faint
A/n: FINAL chapter! Yes I'm slow! Oh and I want to thank my friend StarryNightObsession for bugging me into update, hehe...thank you! And everyone else should thank her too. Not to mention the beautious summer holiday....yes it's a word, I just created it. This chapter will be the last, however....okay I'm not gonna spoil it, I'll tell you after it's done. Hehehe. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
()()()
I gazed at my pale reflection in the mirror and pounded my fist in the side of it. Everything was so messed up, and I wish for once it hadn't been Rei. He didn't deserve this, it wasn't his fault, and he was the one hurting. I vaguely wondered who else it could have ever been.....maybe Tala at one time, but even he didn't deserve any of this shit I created. I rubbed my temples in thought, trying to figure out what to do, I needed some advice; I was lost.
Decidedly, I turned on the cold water tap and splashed my face quickly. I dried myself and crept quietly out of the bathroom door. I could hear Rei's soft breathing, and tiptoed out of the room. I think he needed some time, but I think maybe we both needed time apart. I packed a small bag of my things (enough for a couple of weeks at least), scribbled a note to the others informing them I'd return soon, and headed out.
The rain had stopped and the clouds were rolling overhead quietly revealing the brilliance of stars that had been covered. The air smelt warm with the breath of spring impatiently wanting to arrive. As I'd walked I considered my thoughts, was I running away again? I decided I wasn't, because if I were I wouldn't have known where I was going. Then I wondered at that, where was I going? I was giving Rei some space, I wasn't sure how he felt anymore, with what happened and everything. I would train myself, I would train my blade and myself, so I could protect Rei if need be. I knew there lay thick tension between us, I think we were both confused about our feelings, perhaps if I gave him some space to think, all would be well again.
()()()
Golden speckles of light peeked in the windows signalling the beginning of a new day. I wearily opened my tired eyes, glaring at the intruding light, and pulling the blanket over my head once again. It wasn't as warm as it usually was; something was missing. I tossed the covers up a minute later in the frustration, something was missing!
I glanced around the room. No Kai. I looked worriedly over to the bathroom. The door was open. I jumped up and searched the bathroom from the tub and through the cupboards and medicine cabinet. No Kai. I ran to the balcony, still no Kai. I pulled on a random robe lying carelessly on one of the dressers, not realizing it was Kai's.
I flew down the stairs, barely making any noise, and rushed into the kitchen. No Kai. I noticed a note sitting on the table, and picked it up. Kai's neat printing read:
'Bladebreakers:
I have gone to do some private training, resume your own training while I'm away. I have given Rei the schedule (in your bag Rei) and you will complete the training each day. I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I'll be back soon.
Kai.'
I blinked away the tears that seemed to gather in my eyes of their own accord. I honestly didn't know what to think. Was he running away again? From what Kai indicated, I didn't really think so, but perhaps I was wrong again. My thoughts were interrupted by the rest of the team coming down from their sleeping quarters and I brushed away the lingering traces of sadness from my face. I started on breakfast, ignoring the pain in my chest, the pain of heartbreak. My attention was snatched away from my work when a loud yell echoed throughout the kitchen.
"WHAT!?"
It was the non-too-subtle Tyson. I looked over to where he stood, Kai's letter grasped in hand and a scowl settled upon his features. I tried to ignore him and continue with my work.
Apparently after a few minutes he'd left, because Max came up behind me.
"I'm so sorry Rei. I'm so sorry."
I nodded, not looking at him, I thought I might burst into tears at any moment. But I would be strong, just like Kai was, I would be strong too. After all, I doubt he would cry if I were the one to leave.
"Tyson has an idea what happened between you two; he's really pissed off with Kai now."
I nodded again, and waved the blond away so I could finish my work in peace.
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
I finished making breakfast, and not being very hungry, I left it for the others. Tyson had since come in, quiet, but his appetite was never silenced. He gave me nod and thanks, but I could see the sympathy in his eyes.
"I'm not hungry, I'm going for a walk," I said quietly, without emotion.
Max looked at me, worry in his eyes, "Do you want me to go with you?"
I smiled slightly, "No, I'd like to be alone for now thanks."
With that I left the room. It wasn't until I was almost out the door that I realized I was still in the robe I'd snatched up; it was Kai's. After making my way back to our room, I pulled it off and threw on my regular attire. Tying my hair back carefully, I quickly made my way outside.
It was a cool morning, the sun had since come up, rising high in the sky, making any watchers believe the day would be just as fine. A refreshing breeze followed me to my secret place, that place I scrambled after that butterfly and I recalled Kai watching me quietly. I felt stupid about that childish act, but everything then I suppose seemed so simple, no relationships, no hurt, well maybe, there's always hurt, but not like now. I wondered briefly why Kai left, I mean our relationship was a bit rocky, but I seriously didn't think he was one to give up on such a challenge.
I thought about how I felt about him. I cared a lot about him, maybe that's why I wasn't all that sure he left for good, and that he hadn't given up. Maybe it seemed to be the best option at the time for him, maybe he thought we needed space or something. My reasoning seemed to make sense, but was little comfort for my aching heart. Truthfully, I really missed him and I would've apologized in an instant, but he was gone, and I was responsible. I thought maybe that was weak of me to be almost lost without him, in character at least, but still I think I have right to feel upset and alone. I didn't like that feeling, but it was present as the situation was and had to be dealt with, or forgotten about. I liked neither option, but that's how they were.
I sighed and leaned lazily against the tree. I won't deny that I didn't cry for quite a long time, it sounds weak and pathetic and stupid, but once the waterfalls started they didn't stop. For a long time, I dreamed of my koibito, and those feelings I felt came back each time, but I began ignoring them. I hated myself for it, but I hated myself for being weak even more, so I chose the lesser of the evils and attempted to forget him. Keyword: attempted. Unfortunately they were feelings buried deep, but still there, and made me vulnerable. So a month later when Kai came back to resume our training, I ignored him completely and when I had to speak to him, I would be as cold as he used to be. I felt horrible about acting so cruelly, but it was the only way. I wanted desperately to drop the act and cuddle up to him and tell him how sorry I was and that I could never be happy without him (all of which are true), but I resolved to be indifferent and realistic. We were obviously not all that compatable. At least not at this point in our lives, and a relationship of any sort would lead only to pain.
Four years passed.....
It's been four years since the Russian tournament and since we've been all together as the Bladebreakers. Now at nineteen I still long to live in those days, but now things are different. Kai left once again, deciding his training wasn't of any use to us anymore, we would train with someone else who could teach us more than he could. We still keep in contact, all of us Bladebreakers and even with some of the other teams, some of us more than others. Max keeps in contact mainly with the All Stars, but lives in a flat in Japan with Tyson. Tyson keeps in contact mainly with the All Stars and most of the other beyblade teams we met. Kai sent us letters and mentioned he kept in contact with the Demolition Boys', apparently he also lives in Russia with Tala and Bryan. He also says he's ditched living with his grandpa, even though in doing so he gave up the mansion. Kyouji lives with Emily in America and keeps in contact with mainly us and the All Stars. And I live alone in Japan in a flat, I prefer it that way, I really didn't want to live with any of my teammates. However, that didn't stop Max and Tyson coming over nearly every day to bug me into going out with them, they claimed I needed sunlight and I was getting too pale, soon I'd resemble Kai. The thought made me grin wryly, but I usually declined their offers; I hated being a third wheel and preferred to be by myself with my thoughts anyway.
I don't think I ever truly gave up on Kai, but I won't again chance being with him. When I was cold to him, my chest would ache and later when I was alone, I would cry for my lost love. He was merely a beautiful thing to be admired, like a celebrity, there could be no real relationship. I became so depressed, my friends (Max and Tyson) were convinced I needed to get out and find someone new, get a new perspective with someone I could be happy with. Well those were Max's observations anyway, Tyson was just there to put Kai down, and then Max would tell him to stop and they would get in an argument. After they established not speaking to each other, I would step in and tell them they weren't really mad at each other, and soon they would forgive and forget and go off to make out.
I sat on my down-filled comforter, and tapped my sketching pencil on the drafting board on my lap. I needed something for my fine arts class I was taking at the local college. I'd always kept up my artwork all the years I was Beyblading, and was pursuing it now in college, possibly as a career. I had a job as a waiter at a fancy Chinese restaurant and I drew commissions for advertising agencies, those were basically my main sources of income. Most of the time I was stark broke, but I still managed to get by. Besides, if I ever became desperate financially, I could always move in with Max and Tyson; they'd given me numerous invitations. Max was going to university to become a doctor, and Tyson worked in the local diner as a chef.
I was startled as the phone rang, loudly I might add, and I groaned as my poor ears kept ringing. I picked up the portable quickly.
"Moshi moshi," I said into the receiver.
"Hey Rei!"
It was Tyson.
"Hi, what's up?"
"Oh nothing, Max and I were just having an argument."
I sighed heavily, "Tyson, don't be so bossy, and tell Max to chill out. Now apologize and make-up."
"Nooooo! It wasn't about our relationship or anything. I just got fired today and Max insists that it's my own fault. Who's right?"
"Tyson!!! I knew becoming a chef was a bad idea for you, you've gotta stop eating the customers' food, otherwise you'll keep getting fired! This is the fourth job in a row, c'mon Tyson, you've gotta know what you're doing wrong by now. As for who's right, I didn't want to take sides, but I have to say that Max is right."
"Awww c'mon Rei! You know I can't help it! Anyway, I have another interview next week, I know I can keep that job. Nobody likes working at the place 'cause they say there's a ghost in the basement. Max doesn't want me to work there, he's afraid the ghost might eat me or something."
I laughed, "Well that'll be interesting, can't wait to see how you make out with that. Let me know 'k? And tell Max not to worry—"
"I did! But he doesn't believe me!"
"Tell him: I said you'll be okay and he should have more faith in his boyfriend than that," I said with a laugh.
"Okay and another thing. Max and I are going out tonight, you have to come! You never go out! You're going to wither away and lose all your colour!"
"Too late."
"More so then you already have!!! Pleeeeaaaaase!"
I sighed, "Okay fine, but only for a little bit, I'm not staying out all night. By the way, where are we going?"
"Oh that's a surprise. Dress nice though, for a night on the town. See you at nine!"
"No wait!"
But he already hung up. I ground my fist into my bed, but mulled the thought over for a minute and sighed. I would go wherever they ended up taking me but I wouldn't have ANY fun!
That night I had the greatest time ever, I grinned as I recalled discovering we were headed to a gay bar (the two obviously knowing my preference), and nearly left right then and there. Max and Tyson had to hold me back and convince me to let loose for once. I reluctantly agreed, and ended up having the time of my life.
After going there a few more times, I'd gathered enough phone numbers to start my own city phone book, at least I thought so. Max and Tyson made fun of me for quite a while after that. I seriously didn't understand why every guy I met was eager to hang with me as long as possible, and there were a LOT of guys that I met, or rather guys that just came up to me when I walked in. Soon I was grinding to the variations of techno music that echoed throughout the place with a partner or two and wouldn't leave the place till they closed at about three in the morning.
I asked Max about why people there seemed to flock to me as soon as I walked into the door, and he just blushed and mumbled. I asked him again, and he told me to look in the mirror more often. That confused me, so he told me bluntly, "You're hot. You're REALLY hot!" I blushed immediately shocked and mumbled a 'thank you'.
After calling a couple of the phone numbers I received, I had some dates, I went on them but none of the guys seemed to be for me. Max told me at least I was giving it a shot and that reminded me of that hurt I experienced so long ago and the feelings I still retained. I convinced myself I needed to get over that stage of my life and finally meet someone who I more or less liked.
He was tall with messy dark emerald hair and blue tips, reminding me of Kai, almost, with the two-toned hair. His eyes were a deep aquamarine blue, with a unwavering gaze and contagious light of happiness. He was well built and had a contagious smile, even though it was rare that he did smile. I thought about how happy I was with his personality as well. He was charming, and mysterious, and a very good listener. His name was Akira. He moved in a few months later and we got along great. We agreed to even out the chores and it seemed so perfect, I felt like we were the perfect couple. We both liked to read, go out in the evenings, hang out with Max, Tyson and some of his friends as well, and although we hadn't slept together, he never pressured me to. He sometimes reminded me of Kai, with his mysterious qualities and rare smiles, but our relationship was almost never rocky. We shared each other's secrets and former love lives. We even discussed marriage, and although it was brief, he proposed a couple months later. I turned him down, not disclosing the feelings I still harboured for a certain two-tone blue-haired former-Bladebreaker, but did not throw away the entire marriage idea completely. I told him I needed time to think about it. I wanted to finish school first and then I would consider it.
Now I've reached my final year of school, I have eight more months to consider this big change in my life, and everything I will lose and gain by doing this. I believe I love Akira, though not as much as I loved Kai. Kai was my soul-mate. I loved him more than life itself (yes I know that sounds cliché). I realize now that he's long gone, but I don't know if I can really take this step if I still feel those feelings for Kai. I don't know what to do now; I'm at a crossroads in my life, and Kai isn't here to lend me some of that advice he always gave to me. I'll have to see what the future brings, perhaps our paths will cross again, perhaps not. Only time will tell.
I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Fin.
PLEASE READ FOR INFORMATION!
A/n: There you go guys! Lol, so sorry for the long wait, I hope it was worth it.... Sort of.....or at least I hope you don't despise me for it. I'm finally on summer holidays, and now must contemplate future ambitions as my final year of high school approaches. But between these 'contemplations' I will write, that's certain, as it's hopefully one of my interests that'll keep up through my whole life, and I'll actually make some money through it. Not through fanfics that is (making money), but through my own novels. At least that's what I'm hoping. Anyways, I doubt any of you care to hear about that so I'll tell you my plan for this trilogy. 'Numb' was the first story, this one here you've read 'Faint' was the second story, so this being a trilogy, you can expect another fanfic to complete this lengthy story. As I said before, I am fond of angst, and although sometimes I want something more than a happy ending for a story, this will not be a sad story, all will not be lost, and Kai and Rei aren't over forever. That's the only hint I will give for the next fic preceding this one, but it was an idea I received from the infamous StarryNightObsession so thank her for this continuation. I'm not sure what song I'll use for the next fic but you can bet it'll likely follow the pattern I've gone with for the previous two. Hopefully the next fic will be up soon, I've already began it, so don't worry about me procrastinating to do that.
In closing, thanks so much for your support throughout my fics and I hope you guys keep it coming. I write for myself and for you, but it's your support that keeps me motivated. Thanks so much!
A/n: FINAL chapter! Yes I'm slow! Oh and I want to thank my friend StarryNightObsession for bugging me into update, hehe...thank you! And everyone else should thank her too. Not to mention the beautious summer holiday....yes it's a word, I just created it. This chapter will be the last, however....okay I'm not gonna spoil it, I'll tell you after it's done. Hehehe. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
()()()
I gazed at my pale reflection in the mirror and pounded my fist in the side of it. Everything was so messed up, and I wish for once it hadn't been Rei. He didn't deserve this, it wasn't his fault, and he was the one hurting. I vaguely wondered who else it could have ever been.....maybe Tala at one time, but even he didn't deserve any of this shit I created. I rubbed my temples in thought, trying to figure out what to do, I needed some advice; I was lost.
Decidedly, I turned on the cold water tap and splashed my face quickly. I dried myself and crept quietly out of the bathroom door. I could hear Rei's soft breathing, and tiptoed out of the room. I think he needed some time, but I think maybe we both needed time apart. I packed a small bag of my things (enough for a couple of weeks at least), scribbled a note to the others informing them I'd return soon, and headed out.
The rain had stopped and the clouds were rolling overhead quietly revealing the brilliance of stars that had been covered. The air smelt warm with the breath of spring impatiently wanting to arrive. As I'd walked I considered my thoughts, was I running away again? I decided I wasn't, because if I were I wouldn't have known where I was going. Then I wondered at that, where was I going? I was giving Rei some space, I wasn't sure how he felt anymore, with what happened and everything. I would train myself, I would train my blade and myself, so I could protect Rei if need be. I knew there lay thick tension between us, I think we were both confused about our feelings, perhaps if I gave him some space to think, all would be well again.
()()()
Golden speckles of light peeked in the windows signalling the beginning of a new day. I wearily opened my tired eyes, glaring at the intruding light, and pulling the blanket over my head once again. It wasn't as warm as it usually was; something was missing. I tossed the covers up a minute later in the frustration, something was missing!
I glanced around the room. No Kai. I looked worriedly over to the bathroom. The door was open. I jumped up and searched the bathroom from the tub and through the cupboards and medicine cabinet. No Kai. I ran to the balcony, still no Kai. I pulled on a random robe lying carelessly on one of the dressers, not realizing it was Kai's.
I flew down the stairs, barely making any noise, and rushed into the kitchen. No Kai. I noticed a note sitting on the table, and picked it up. Kai's neat printing read:
'Bladebreakers:
I have gone to do some private training, resume your own training while I'm away. I have given Rei the schedule (in your bag Rei) and you will complete the training each day. I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I'll be back soon.
Kai.'
I blinked away the tears that seemed to gather in my eyes of their own accord. I honestly didn't know what to think. Was he running away again? From what Kai indicated, I didn't really think so, but perhaps I was wrong again. My thoughts were interrupted by the rest of the team coming down from their sleeping quarters and I brushed away the lingering traces of sadness from my face. I started on breakfast, ignoring the pain in my chest, the pain of heartbreak. My attention was snatched away from my work when a loud yell echoed throughout the kitchen.
"WHAT!?"
It was the non-too-subtle Tyson. I looked over to where he stood, Kai's letter grasped in hand and a scowl settled upon his features. I tried to ignore him and continue with my work.
Apparently after a few minutes he'd left, because Max came up behind me.
"I'm so sorry Rei. I'm so sorry."
I nodded, not looking at him, I thought I might burst into tears at any moment. But I would be strong, just like Kai was, I would be strong too. After all, I doubt he would cry if I were the one to leave.
"Tyson has an idea what happened between you two; he's really pissed off with Kai now."
I nodded again, and waved the blond away so I could finish my work in peace.
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
I finished making breakfast, and not being very hungry, I left it for the others. Tyson had since come in, quiet, but his appetite was never silenced. He gave me nod and thanks, but I could see the sympathy in his eyes.
"I'm not hungry, I'm going for a walk," I said quietly, without emotion.
Max looked at me, worry in his eyes, "Do you want me to go with you?"
I smiled slightly, "No, I'd like to be alone for now thanks."
With that I left the room. It wasn't until I was almost out the door that I realized I was still in the robe I'd snatched up; it was Kai's. After making my way back to our room, I pulled it off and threw on my regular attire. Tying my hair back carefully, I quickly made my way outside.
It was a cool morning, the sun had since come up, rising high in the sky, making any watchers believe the day would be just as fine. A refreshing breeze followed me to my secret place, that place I scrambled after that butterfly and I recalled Kai watching me quietly. I felt stupid about that childish act, but everything then I suppose seemed so simple, no relationships, no hurt, well maybe, there's always hurt, but not like now. I wondered briefly why Kai left, I mean our relationship was a bit rocky, but I seriously didn't think he was one to give up on such a challenge.
I thought about how I felt about him. I cared a lot about him, maybe that's why I wasn't all that sure he left for good, and that he hadn't given up. Maybe it seemed to be the best option at the time for him, maybe he thought we needed space or something. My reasoning seemed to make sense, but was little comfort for my aching heart. Truthfully, I really missed him and I would've apologized in an instant, but he was gone, and I was responsible. I thought maybe that was weak of me to be almost lost without him, in character at least, but still I think I have right to feel upset and alone. I didn't like that feeling, but it was present as the situation was and had to be dealt with, or forgotten about. I liked neither option, but that's how they were.
I sighed and leaned lazily against the tree. I won't deny that I didn't cry for quite a long time, it sounds weak and pathetic and stupid, but once the waterfalls started they didn't stop. For a long time, I dreamed of my koibito, and those feelings I felt came back each time, but I began ignoring them. I hated myself for it, but I hated myself for being weak even more, so I chose the lesser of the evils and attempted to forget him. Keyword: attempted. Unfortunately they were feelings buried deep, but still there, and made me vulnerable. So a month later when Kai came back to resume our training, I ignored him completely and when I had to speak to him, I would be as cold as he used to be. I felt horrible about acting so cruelly, but it was the only way. I wanted desperately to drop the act and cuddle up to him and tell him how sorry I was and that I could never be happy without him (all of which are true), but I resolved to be indifferent and realistic. We were obviously not all that compatable. At least not at this point in our lives, and a relationship of any sort would lead only to pain.
Four years passed.....
It's been four years since the Russian tournament and since we've been all together as the Bladebreakers. Now at nineteen I still long to live in those days, but now things are different. Kai left once again, deciding his training wasn't of any use to us anymore, we would train with someone else who could teach us more than he could. We still keep in contact, all of us Bladebreakers and even with some of the other teams, some of us more than others. Max keeps in contact mainly with the All Stars, but lives in a flat in Japan with Tyson. Tyson keeps in contact mainly with the All Stars and most of the other beyblade teams we met. Kai sent us letters and mentioned he kept in contact with the Demolition Boys', apparently he also lives in Russia with Tala and Bryan. He also says he's ditched living with his grandpa, even though in doing so he gave up the mansion. Kyouji lives with Emily in America and keeps in contact with mainly us and the All Stars. And I live alone in Japan in a flat, I prefer it that way, I really didn't want to live with any of my teammates. However, that didn't stop Max and Tyson coming over nearly every day to bug me into going out with them, they claimed I needed sunlight and I was getting too pale, soon I'd resemble Kai. The thought made me grin wryly, but I usually declined their offers; I hated being a third wheel and preferred to be by myself with my thoughts anyway.
I don't think I ever truly gave up on Kai, but I won't again chance being with him. When I was cold to him, my chest would ache and later when I was alone, I would cry for my lost love. He was merely a beautiful thing to be admired, like a celebrity, there could be no real relationship. I became so depressed, my friends (Max and Tyson) were convinced I needed to get out and find someone new, get a new perspective with someone I could be happy with. Well those were Max's observations anyway, Tyson was just there to put Kai down, and then Max would tell him to stop and they would get in an argument. After they established not speaking to each other, I would step in and tell them they weren't really mad at each other, and soon they would forgive and forget and go off to make out.
I sat on my down-filled comforter, and tapped my sketching pencil on the drafting board on my lap. I needed something for my fine arts class I was taking at the local college. I'd always kept up my artwork all the years I was Beyblading, and was pursuing it now in college, possibly as a career. I had a job as a waiter at a fancy Chinese restaurant and I drew commissions for advertising agencies, those were basically my main sources of income. Most of the time I was stark broke, but I still managed to get by. Besides, if I ever became desperate financially, I could always move in with Max and Tyson; they'd given me numerous invitations. Max was going to university to become a doctor, and Tyson worked in the local diner as a chef.
I was startled as the phone rang, loudly I might add, and I groaned as my poor ears kept ringing. I picked up the portable quickly.
"Moshi moshi," I said into the receiver.
"Hey Rei!"
It was Tyson.
"Hi, what's up?"
"Oh nothing, Max and I were just having an argument."
I sighed heavily, "Tyson, don't be so bossy, and tell Max to chill out. Now apologize and make-up."
"Nooooo! It wasn't about our relationship or anything. I just got fired today and Max insists that it's my own fault. Who's right?"
"Tyson!!! I knew becoming a chef was a bad idea for you, you've gotta stop eating the customers' food, otherwise you'll keep getting fired! This is the fourth job in a row, c'mon Tyson, you've gotta know what you're doing wrong by now. As for who's right, I didn't want to take sides, but I have to say that Max is right."
"Awww c'mon Rei! You know I can't help it! Anyway, I have another interview next week, I know I can keep that job. Nobody likes working at the place 'cause they say there's a ghost in the basement. Max doesn't want me to work there, he's afraid the ghost might eat me or something."
I laughed, "Well that'll be interesting, can't wait to see how you make out with that. Let me know 'k? And tell Max not to worry—"
"I did! But he doesn't believe me!"
"Tell him: I said you'll be okay and he should have more faith in his boyfriend than that," I said with a laugh.
"Okay and another thing. Max and I are going out tonight, you have to come! You never go out! You're going to wither away and lose all your colour!"
"Too late."
"More so then you already have!!! Pleeeeaaaaase!"
I sighed, "Okay fine, but only for a little bit, I'm not staying out all night. By the way, where are we going?"
"Oh that's a surprise. Dress nice though, for a night on the town. See you at nine!"
"No wait!"
But he already hung up. I ground my fist into my bed, but mulled the thought over for a minute and sighed. I would go wherever they ended up taking me but I wouldn't have ANY fun!
That night I had the greatest time ever, I grinned as I recalled discovering we were headed to a gay bar (the two obviously knowing my preference), and nearly left right then and there. Max and Tyson had to hold me back and convince me to let loose for once. I reluctantly agreed, and ended up having the time of my life.
After going there a few more times, I'd gathered enough phone numbers to start my own city phone book, at least I thought so. Max and Tyson made fun of me for quite a while after that. I seriously didn't understand why every guy I met was eager to hang with me as long as possible, and there were a LOT of guys that I met, or rather guys that just came up to me when I walked in. Soon I was grinding to the variations of techno music that echoed throughout the place with a partner or two and wouldn't leave the place till they closed at about three in the morning.
I asked Max about why people there seemed to flock to me as soon as I walked into the door, and he just blushed and mumbled. I asked him again, and he told me to look in the mirror more often. That confused me, so he told me bluntly, "You're hot. You're REALLY hot!" I blushed immediately shocked and mumbled a 'thank you'.
After calling a couple of the phone numbers I received, I had some dates, I went on them but none of the guys seemed to be for me. Max told me at least I was giving it a shot and that reminded me of that hurt I experienced so long ago and the feelings I still retained. I convinced myself I needed to get over that stage of my life and finally meet someone who I more or less liked.
He was tall with messy dark emerald hair and blue tips, reminding me of Kai, almost, with the two-toned hair. His eyes were a deep aquamarine blue, with a unwavering gaze and contagious light of happiness. He was well built and had a contagious smile, even though it was rare that he did smile. I thought about how happy I was with his personality as well. He was charming, and mysterious, and a very good listener. His name was Akira. He moved in a few months later and we got along great. We agreed to even out the chores and it seemed so perfect, I felt like we were the perfect couple. We both liked to read, go out in the evenings, hang out with Max, Tyson and some of his friends as well, and although we hadn't slept together, he never pressured me to. He sometimes reminded me of Kai, with his mysterious qualities and rare smiles, but our relationship was almost never rocky. We shared each other's secrets and former love lives. We even discussed marriage, and although it was brief, he proposed a couple months later. I turned him down, not disclosing the feelings I still harboured for a certain two-tone blue-haired former-Bladebreaker, but did not throw away the entire marriage idea completely. I told him I needed time to think about it. I wanted to finish school first and then I would consider it.
Now I've reached my final year of school, I have eight more months to consider this big change in my life, and everything I will lose and gain by doing this. I believe I love Akira, though not as much as I loved Kai. Kai was my soul-mate. I loved him more than life itself (yes I know that sounds cliché). I realize now that he's long gone, but I don't know if I can really take this step if I still feel those feelings for Kai. I don't know what to do now; I'm at a crossroads in my life, and Kai isn't here to lend me some of that advice he always gave to me. I'll have to see what the future brings, perhaps our paths will cross again, perhaps not. Only time will tell.
I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Fin.
PLEASE READ FOR INFORMATION!
A/n: There you go guys! Lol, so sorry for the long wait, I hope it was worth it.... Sort of.....or at least I hope you don't despise me for it. I'm finally on summer holidays, and now must contemplate future ambitions as my final year of high school approaches. But between these 'contemplations' I will write, that's certain, as it's hopefully one of my interests that'll keep up through my whole life, and I'll actually make some money through it. Not through fanfics that is (making money), but through my own novels. At least that's what I'm hoping. Anyways, I doubt any of you care to hear about that so I'll tell you my plan for this trilogy. 'Numb' was the first story, this one here you've read 'Faint' was the second story, so this being a trilogy, you can expect another fanfic to complete this lengthy story. As I said before, I am fond of angst, and although sometimes I want something more than a happy ending for a story, this will not be a sad story, all will not be lost, and Kai and Rei aren't over forever. That's the only hint I will give for the next fic preceding this one, but it was an idea I received from the infamous StarryNightObsession so thank her for this continuation. I'm not sure what song I'll use for the next fic but you can bet it'll likely follow the pattern I've gone with for the previous two. Hopefully the next fic will be up soon, I've already began it, so don't worry about me procrastinating to do that.
In closing, thanks so much for your support throughout my fics and I hope you guys keep it coming. I write for myself and for you, but it's your support that keeps me motivated. Thanks so much!