Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, though I wish I did. There are two quotes from outside sources in this story. One: "I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name." Which is from the movie The Last Unicorn -- well, its quoted there but I haven't any idea who said it originally.

Two: "…you have some weird, over-developed sense of propriety…." is from Sanguis-Vinculum by Meri. I will be happy to link the fanfic to anyone who asks and leaves their e-mail address/logs in when they review. Or if, for some reason, reviewing doesn't work, ask me for the link via-email.

Mixed Signals
-BrokenAmbition-

Once upon a time,

I loathed you. Thought you a petty man who held petty grudges -- was I ever wrong. You were right to hold the things against me that you did, even though they are from times long passed. I was the embodiment of some of your worst childhood memories, because of what my father did to you.

Then the scene shifted entirely; I no longer despised you. Nor you me, if that glint in your eye says anything. The glint that is a tell-all; shows me clearly what I do to you. I'm your aphrodisiac. Nearly-black eyes glinting with the knowledge of my own late-night fantasies. You're mine.

Yet you forbid me to become close to you. Forbid be to jump over your mile-high walls that you have constructed to hide yourself. I want to jump. I need you, to see your emotions laid bare across your usually stony face. You fear that, I know, but you should trust me.

I've clutched desperately at the few secrets of yours I hold, as a dying man might cling to life. They are more precious to me than life, and I am dying of starvation; deprived of you.

Still, you require the titles 'professor' or 'sir.' You haven't granted me permission to say your true name.

I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name. But you forbid it; you have some weird, over-developed sense of propriety. Even in my secret thoughts, I force myself to call you 'sir,' or 'professor.' Why? Am I being over-demanding by wanting to feel your name across my tongue? Turning it over in my mouth, treasuring the taste as if it were chocolate.

You think I'm being greedy, I know. Needy, you say? But I only want one thing -- you. The one thing, it seems, I cannot have. What I don't understand is why you continue to keep up the charade of an average teacher-student relationship.

Occasionally, your control slips and you lick your lips subconsciously when I walk into the classroom. It scared me at first, I felt like a slice of meat. But I am adaptable, and if I could be your slice of meat, I'd enjoy it. But it seems I cannot even be that.

My control slips far more often than yours. My eyes wander down your thin frame several times each class period -- damn hormones. Every time, you sense my eyes, and move your hips just so… and I want to die.

Wanting you at this very moment -- you tempted me again. You know what you do to me, yet you continue without any promise of release. I'm supposed to be the forbidden fruit, aren't I? Yet, you seem to be playing my part.

Again, the lust in my eyes goes almost unacknowledged. Almost, but for the way your hips turn, slightly thrusting into the air. Marginally, my eyes widen and my lust for you increases exponentially.

"Mister Potter," you say, sneering. "Are you going to get started on that potion today?" I nod. Slowly, I begin mixing the ingredients, desperately wishing you had be brewing a love potion.

I've abandoned all hope of ever fulfilling my fantasy of calling you by your name. It seems, however unfortunately, that this is…

The End.

A/N: Thank you for reading this far, please review.