When Interviews Go Wrong
Chapter 4: Taking Off the Coat
Disclaimer: T.T I do not own Trigun. I do not own Inuyasha. I do not own Max. I do not own Sheilah (but she may think I do, and therefor I can make her get me drinks and stuff). I do not own Nikki, either. However, I DO own me!
Welcome to the fan-fiction, When Interviews Go Wrong. Please buckle your seat-belt and keep yourself from attempting any of the following at all times. Failure to comply may result in craziness, lack of sense, and loss of IQ points.
How would you like to have to take Legato's coat off him?!
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Alex: ::solemnly:: Now, Vash…You have to take off his jacket!
Max: …
Nikki: …
Sheilah: …
Vash: ::looks at Max, then Nikki, then Sheilah, then back to Alex:: …NO!
Alex: YES! TAKE IT OFF!!! . That did not…
Vash: Or what?
Alex: …Or I'll make you eat ketchup-covered eggs!
Everyone gasps.
Vash: NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT—Hey…
Nikki and Vash: I like ketchup-covered eggs!!
Sheilah: Eeewww…
Max: Yum.
Alex: Ketchup-covered eggs are GROSS!!!
Vash: If that's your threat, then I refuse to do. ::licks his lips:: Can I have my punishment now?
Alex: o.O
Nikki: o.O
Sheilah: o.O
Max: …you three are weird.
Nikki, Sheilah, and Alex: We know.
Max: o.O
Alex: ::turns back to Vash:: . Now take off his jacket!!!
Sheilah: …I can put him in one of my worlds….
Nikki: I'll banish him to darkness!
Max: You can't!
Nikki: Can too…I did it to a S.W.A.T. Team once!
Max: Yea right…Prove it.
Alex: She doesn't have to prove anything—Let him believe lies. And we don't want to
futher his education now, do we?
Nikki: How'd we be educating him?
Alex: ::raises an eyebrow:: You don't want to beat him with a shoe?
Nikki: Good idea!
Max: NO!
Nikki: ::pulls off her shoe, running towards Max and hitting him with it::
Alex: Here, wait! ::tosses her a frying pan that appeared out of thin air:: There…You gave it to me just recently, and it's pretty useful for beating people!
Sheilah: Yea!! I would know, too…
Nikki: o.O Kay. ::catches it, pounding Max with it::
Max: OUCH! STOP IT!!
Sheilah: I'm bored.
Alex: u.u Then take off Legato's jacket!
Sheilah: Cool! O.O Wait….
Alex: o.O Yea, you'd better think twice.
Vash: …
Max: ::runs around, trying to get away from Nikki:: STOP!
Nikki: NEVER!
Alex: u.u ::sits on the ground:: Vash, do it! Or else I'll…Kill Legato! ::mutters:: Or maybe Nikki can do it for me…
Nikki: ::stops running and pauses from hitting Max::
Max: ::freezes as if he was in a video game and someone paused it::
Nikki: You said something?
Alex: o.o ::thinks: She's got super-sonic hearing!:: Nothing!
Nikki: Truly?
Alex: Truly!
Nikki: Kay then! ::chases Max again, beating him::
Max: ::continues his running and screaming::
Vash: ::whines:: Fine… ::steps closer to Legato slowly like the limp form was a dead corpse::
Nikki: ::pauses beating Max, watching Vash::
Max: ::pauses in mid-stride as if in a game again::
Sheilah: O.O ::watches Vash::
Silence falls all around; not a soul stirs, excluding Vash.
Vash: ::squeezes his eyes shut, getting closer and closer::
Alex: I know!
Nikki, Sheilah, and Vash: ::jump::
Max: ::doesn't blink, jump, or move at all; remains frozen with his foot halfway to the ground::
Vash: ::looks at her pleadingly::
Nikki: Know what?
Sheilah: ???
Max: ::ever frozen::
Alex: Why don't we just put him in one of Sheilah's worlds? Then, not only would he be out of the way, we'd also be safe from anything he tried, we wouldn't be able to hear his infernal shouting, and then he'd be afraid of us because he would know we can starve him! ::grins evilly::
Nikki: ::grins evil-EST::
Alex: ::whines:: Can't you let someone else be evil-EST, just once?!?!
Nikki: Nope.
Alex: Aww…
Vash: Excellent! Let's do it! You're so smart, you deserve an award!!
Alex: u.u Vash, shuttup, your vote doesn't count. You'd rather do almost anything than take off Legato's jacket.
Sheilah: YAY! Will he be afraid of me then?
Alex: He should!
Sheilah: I say we do it!
Nikki: I guess.
Max: ::silent::
Alex: Kay then, all in favor of banishing—
Nikki: BANISHING!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Alex: …All in favor of removing Legato temporarily to one of Sheilah's worlds, say I!
Sheilah, Nikki, and Alex: I!
Vash: ::while they're not watching him, he tries to throw his voice to add to the "I!"s:: I!
Alex: Sheilah, don't forget where you put him, okay?
Sheilah: I won't. ::disappears, taking Legato's body with her to…er…..o.o—put him in one of her worlds, nothing else!!!::
Nikki: That all?
Alex: Yea.
Nikki: YAY! ::starts running and beating Max again::
Max: ::unpauses, running and screaming for her to stop::
Vash: ::wipes off a bead of sweat:: Phew…
Alex: ::looks at Vash::
Vash: ::stares at her::
Alex: ::blinks::
Vash: YOU BLINKED! I WIN!!
Alex: u.u
Vash: Admit it!
Alex: ::purses her lips, turning to the others:: PEOPLE, BACK TO WORK! WE'VE GOT A LOT TO DO!
Nikki: ::disregards her best friend's command completely::
Alex: . Nicole! Max! Stop! We need to get back to work!
Nikki and Max: ::ignore her::
Alex: T.T Please?
Nikki and Max: ::still ignore her::
Alex: . I hate you guys.
Vash: ::laughs at her::
Alex: . Shuddup! ::hits him::
Vash: Ow! ::stops laughing::
Max: OKAY! I'LL BE GOOD!
Nikki: You'd better. ::stops beating him::
Max: Fine.
Alex: Ooooookay. Now…Where's Sheilah?
Nikki: She's with Legato.
Alex: …
Nikki: …NT!
Max and Vash: NT?
Alex: Nasty Thought. -.-
Max: …
Vash: …
Alex: …
Nikki: Let's play truth or dare!
Vash: Yay! Let me pick the person first!
Alex: …We are DEFINITELY not playing truth or dare!
Max: You guys are nasty.
Vash: …Please?
Alex: U.U;;
Sheilah: ::appears, gasping for breathe::
Alex: Sheilah, what happened?!
Nikki: o.O
Max: Oh my god, you guys are nasty.
Alex: ::ignores it::
Sheilah: Legato woke up and chased me!
Nikki: ………………………………………………………….
Vash: ………………………………………………………….
Alex: …And why did he do that?
Sheilah: …He had cheese!!
Alex: So, you stole his cheese when he was asleep…No wonder he chased after you.
Sheilah: ::eats a big chunk of cheese::
Nikki: I want some! ::breaks the cheese in half and eats it::
Sheilah: Give it back! ::tries to grab it::
Nikki: No! ::licks it all over so she won't want it::
Alex, Max, and Vash: Eeewww!
Sheilah: So? ::grabs it and eats it anyway::
Nikki and Alex: GROSS!!
Vash: . That's disgusting…
Max: You're gross!
Sheilah: ::just smiles and devours her cheese::
Alex: ::rolls her eyes:: You're worse than Vash and his donuts.
Vash: Hey!
Nikki: And me and my pudding!
Alex: And Max and his games…
Max: Nuhuh!
Alex: Whateva…Back to work peoples!
Nikki: Bleh.
Alex: -.-
Max: ::sarcastically:: Great. ::picks up his camera::
Alex: Exactly! Now, Nikki and Sheilah…Offstage chairs; Vash, you get the one onstage.
Nikki and Sheilah: ::sit in their assigned chairs::
Vash: ::sits onstage; his stomach grows loudly:: …
Alex: Lemme guess…You're hungry, and you can't do the interview without eating first.
Vash: How'd you know?
Alex: Er…Hey, guys, we need to pick who's on camera! ;
Vash: What about—
Alex: ::cuts Vash off ignorantly:: Lettuce decide the old fashioned way!
Nikki and Sheilah: Okay!
Alex: One…
Sheilah: Two…
Nikki: THREE! NOT IT!!!!
Sheilah: NOT IT!!!!
Alex: NOT IT!!!!!!!!! Oh gosh dangit!
Nikki: Alex.
Alex: .;;; NO! I hate being on camera!
Nikki: Too bad.
Sheilah: ….
Alex: .; You do it! ::shoves Sheilah into the chair::
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Sheilah: ::jumps up:: What the heck?!
Vash: ::slowly backs away::
Max: O.O Sheilah!
Sheilah: What?!
Vash: O.O
Alex: …You idiots! ::runs up and pulls the cushion off the seat, unzipping the zipper along the side::
Max: ::thinks: Aw, please don't find it, please don't find it, please don't find it!::
Alex: ::pulls out a whoopee cushion:: Look!!
Vash: I didn't do it!!
Alex: O MAAAAAAAX!!
Max: Oh crap! ::sets down the camera, jumping and running to the farthest side of the room::
Nikki: Not again…
The screen focuses on Sheilah.
Sheilah: ::looks out to the reader:: This is how it has ended several times… ::sigh:: Here we go again…
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----Until Next Time, Fellow Gunsmoke Felonies,----
(No drum role?!)
Asesu
P.S. XD Hope you enjoyed! You know where flames go, and be sure to read and review!