Author: Emba
Disclaimer: Basically...I own nothing at all.
Authors Note: Sorry this took soooooo long, I've been extremely busy what with sports and stupid homework. I haven't felt like writing lately and ideas were missing in my head so I'm pretty much winging this chapter. Hopefully you like the way I uh....wing. Anyway, enjoy.
Authors Note#2: Doyle says something in Gaelic and here's the translation, "Kiss my ass."
*
In our first few classes Angel and I hadn't run in to each other. I saw him look my way a few times. I quickly turned away whenever I saw that. Although I miss him I'm still angry and sad. I saw Scott at lunch and he talked to me in his nice, shy way and told some jokes and I wanted to cry. I don't want to hurt Scott, but I definitely don't want to hurt Angel either. I love Angel, truly, but still I don't want Scott to be broken in two. Ugh, I wish I was snotty, or off-putting...like Cordelia...Oh my God, did I really just say that?
My mom is going out of town tomorrow on some Art-gallery thing that she tried to explain to me and I *tried* to listen to but ... I really couldn't care less so I just stared at her...really hard. She *thought* I listened so, my plan worked like a charm. I'm almost glad to get the house to myself, so I can...well, I would say 'throw a party' if I was in a cheery and bubbly mood but now I'm in a self-loathing and all together sad mood. My life is crap and I am so stupid for being in this big mess. See? This is self-loathing and sadness.
After lunch I skulked to the Chem. Lab, Doyle pulled my aside, his voice low and secretive. I thought he was going to say something like, 'Angel said to me...he really feels horrible and sorry for what happened, he just doesn't know how to say it, go talk to him...' or something similiar. But really, all he said was, "Buffy...I know you saw princess and I the other night."
I stared at him blankly, almost not remembering the makeout session I barged in on. After that gross thought and shudder of the remembrance I immediately thought, "Princess?"
"Oh, yah, just a nickname for Cordelia. After all she is like a princess. Spoiled, rich and beautiful." He said lightly, admiration in his eyes.
I got the chills just thinking about Doyle being in love with Cordy. It was sad, but wasn't me being in love with Angel sad too? Especially when he felt nothing like that toward me?
I got lost in thought, digressing again (really, it's becoming disease like), and Doyle pulled me out of it saying, "Princess doesn't want anybody to know yet. She's still..." He paused. "I'm trying to change her. You know, get her away from that group of drones she calls friends but...ah, that lass sure doesn't give up easy." His voice became stronger and angrier. "She actually said, 'I won't give up my popularity for you, you crazy little irish man!' and I said, 'Póg mo thoin!' and instantly after that she gave me a strange look and called me a loser. How dare she do that to me? I --" His voice was almost shouting at this point.
"Doyle, calm down." I said softly.
He sighed, shrugging, his irritation lowering noticably. "You want some advice?" I asked carefully, looking at his face to see if he truly did.
He nodded. "Well, I don't think Cordelia can really be *changed*. Sure she can be taken away from her friends, but that won't change who she is inside. She'll still be the same old Cordelia, tactless and always there so she can make fun of your outfit." I paused and took a breath, hoping I wasn't crushing him. "You can try to...change her. But, I hope she doesn't break your heart."
Doyle smiled gently at my sympathy. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it, Buff. I'll try my best with Cordy and if it doesn't work out... I will...move on." The bell rings as the words left his lips. I smiled briefly and watched him move on to his next class.
I walked in to my class and sat in my desk and pretended to pay attention and when the teacher called on me I answered with finesse and charm... Actually, it was more along the lines of "I didn't answer at all, I stuttered like an idiot". Yeah, that sounds a lot more true.
*
After my last period, I could feel the weight of the day dragging me down. I have six classes with Angel and I managed to dodge him each time. You'd think I'd be all, "Go me!" except I'm not. I'm still all depressed. Teen angst sucks.
"Buffy!" I hear from behind me. I hurry and gather my things out of locker and look back quickly. Just my luck... The voice is coming from Angel who is working his way through the crowds. I sling my bag over my shoulder and walked as fast as I possibly can through the crowd. I'm not ready for a confrontation...I'm not good at confrontations. Actually the correct term would be suck. I *suck* at confrontations. I get sweaty palms and all nervous. Whenever this stuff happens I feel like Willow.
"Buffy!" Crap. He's catching up. I wish Angel's legs weren't so long...actually I like 'em long and strong and -- God, why don't I shut UP?!
"Buffy, please, wait!"
I manage to escape school without him behind me. I get out my keys and fumble stupidly with them, trying to find the car key. I borrowed my mother's car today because I did not want to drive with Angel, obviously. I shove the key in to the car and dive in, looking around for Angel. Nope. No Angel. Phew...
"Buffy!" AHH!!! I looked next to me and see Angel banging on the door. Oh holy crap. My heart is beating 5000000 times a minute!! I had no idea he was *right* there. "Buffy, please open the door, we have to talk sometime."
I give myself a minute to think...
I sigh, and open the door for him. He jumps in and trys to catch his breath. "You give a good chase, I'll give you that." He jokes. I look straight ahead, trying not to look at him.
"Buffy, let me say something." I nod. But still keep my eyes away. He tugs my arm gently, "Look at me." I turn to him slowly and focus my eyes on him. And then I wanted to gasp at my revelation. Through all my anger, and sadness and all around crappy-feelings... all I have to do is look at him, and it doesn't matter. Just one look.
"Buffy, I wanted to apologize for last night... I was just irrational and I know you just don't want to hurt Josh--"
"Scott." I correct him. He waves the mistake off and smiles sheepishly. "Right, Scott, Josh whatever. I just... I want you to do whatever you have to. I'll wait forever for you." He looks at me hopefully.
I smile contently and hug him, kiss him on the cheek and then say plainly, "Get out of the car."
"But--" He protests, but he's got to go because I have a mission to fulfill.
"Go. I have something to do." I say cryptically. He narrows his eyes at me, but opens the door and begins to get out. "Remember," he says before he leaves, "I'm always right next door."
I grin when the door shuts and the plans are already forming in my head. I know what I have to do. And I'll do it.
TBC
I'm SOOO sorry that took forever but I've been incredibly busy. Thanks to all those that nagged me out of my non-updating state. Hopefully this has satisfied you. even though it was extremely short, which I am also sorry for. My next chapter will, hopefully, be soon. If not, I am REALLY sorry. Thanks again to those who reviewed I'm glad you like the fic so much! Review again and give me a happy!
Disclaimer: Basically...I own nothing at all.
Authors Note: Sorry this took soooooo long, I've been extremely busy what with sports and stupid homework. I haven't felt like writing lately and ideas were missing in my head so I'm pretty much winging this chapter. Hopefully you like the way I uh....wing. Anyway, enjoy.
Authors Note#2: Doyle says something in Gaelic and here's the translation, "Kiss my ass."
*
In our first few classes Angel and I hadn't run in to each other. I saw him look my way a few times. I quickly turned away whenever I saw that. Although I miss him I'm still angry and sad. I saw Scott at lunch and he talked to me in his nice, shy way and told some jokes and I wanted to cry. I don't want to hurt Scott, but I definitely don't want to hurt Angel either. I love Angel, truly, but still I don't want Scott to be broken in two. Ugh, I wish I was snotty, or off-putting...like Cordelia...Oh my God, did I really just say that?
My mom is going out of town tomorrow on some Art-gallery thing that she tried to explain to me and I *tried* to listen to but ... I really couldn't care less so I just stared at her...really hard. She *thought* I listened so, my plan worked like a charm. I'm almost glad to get the house to myself, so I can...well, I would say 'throw a party' if I was in a cheery and bubbly mood but now I'm in a self-loathing and all together sad mood. My life is crap and I am so stupid for being in this big mess. See? This is self-loathing and sadness.
After lunch I skulked to the Chem. Lab, Doyle pulled my aside, his voice low and secretive. I thought he was going to say something like, 'Angel said to me...he really feels horrible and sorry for what happened, he just doesn't know how to say it, go talk to him...' or something similiar. But really, all he said was, "Buffy...I know you saw princess and I the other night."
I stared at him blankly, almost not remembering the makeout session I barged in on. After that gross thought and shudder of the remembrance I immediately thought, "Princess?"
"Oh, yah, just a nickname for Cordelia. After all she is like a princess. Spoiled, rich and beautiful." He said lightly, admiration in his eyes.
I got the chills just thinking about Doyle being in love with Cordy. It was sad, but wasn't me being in love with Angel sad too? Especially when he felt nothing like that toward me?
I got lost in thought, digressing again (really, it's becoming disease like), and Doyle pulled me out of it saying, "Princess doesn't want anybody to know yet. She's still..." He paused. "I'm trying to change her. You know, get her away from that group of drones she calls friends but...ah, that lass sure doesn't give up easy." His voice became stronger and angrier. "She actually said, 'I won't give up my popularity for you, you crazy little irish man!' and I said, 'Póg mo thoin!' and instantly after that she gave me a strange look and called me a loser. How dare she do that to me? I --" His voice was almost shouting at this point.
"Doyle, calm down." I said softly.
He sighed, shrugging, his irritation lowering noticably. "You want some advice?" I asked carefully, looking at his face to see if he truly did.
He nodded. "Well, I don't think Cordelia can really be *changed*. Sure she can be taken away from her friends, but that won't change who she is inside. She'll still be the same old Cordelia, tactless and always there so she can make fun of your outfit." I paused and took a breath, hoping I wasn't crushing him. "You can try to...change her. But, I hope she doesn't break your heart."
Doyle smiled gently at my sympathy. "Ah, don't worry 'bout it, Buff. I'll try my best with Cordy and if it doesn't work out... I will...move on." The bell rings as the words left his lips. I smiled briefly and watched him move on to his next class.
I walked in to my class and sat in my desk and pretended to pay attention and when the teacher called on me I answered with finesse and charm... Actually, it was more along the lines of "I didn't answer at all, I stuttered like an idiot". Yeah, that sounds a lot more true.
*
After my last period, I could feel the weight of the day dragging me down. I have six classes with Angel and I managed to dodge him each time. You'd think I'd be all, "Go me!" except I'm not. I'm still all depressed. Teen angst sucks.
"Buffy!" I hear from behind me. I hurry and gather my things out of locker and look back quickly. Just my luck... The voice is coming from Angel who is working his way through the crowds. I sling my bag over my shoulder and walked as fast as I possibly can through the crowd. I'm not ready for a confrontation...I'm not good at confrontations. Actually the correct term would be suck. I *suck* at confrontations. I get sweaty palms and all nervous. Whenever this stuff happens I feel like Willow.
"Buffy!" Crap. He's catching up. I wish Angel's legs weren't so long...actually I like 'em long and strong and -- God, why don't I shut UP?!
"Buffy, please, wait!"
I manage to escape school without him behind me. I get out my keys and fumble stupidly with them, trying to find the car key. I borrowed my mother's car today because I did not want to drive with Angel, obviously. I shove the key in to the car and dive in, looking around for Angel. Nope. No Angel. Phew...
"Buffy!" AHH!!! I looked next to me and see Angel banging on the door. Oh holy crap. My heart is beating 5000000 times a minute!! I had no idea he was *right* there. "Buffy, please open the door, we have to talk sometime."
I give myself a minute to think...
I sigh, and open the door for him. He jumps in and trys to catch his breath. "You give a good chase, I'll give you that." He jokes. I look straight ahead, trying not to look at him.
"Buffy, let me say something." I nod. But still keep my eyes away. He tugs my arm gently, "Look at me." I turn to him slowly and focus my eyes on him. And then I wanted to gasp at my revelation. Through all my anger, and sadness and all around crappy-feelings... all I have to do is look at him, and it doesn't matter. Just one look.
"Buffy, I wanted to apologize for last night... I was just irrational and I know you just don't want to hurt Josh--"
"Scott." I correct him. He waves the mistake off and smiles sheepishly. "Right, Scott, Josh whatever. I just... I want you to do whatever you have to. I'll wait forever for you." He looks at me hopefully.
I smile contently and hug him, kiss him on the cheek and then say plainly, "Get out of the car."
"But--" He protests, but he's got to go because I have a mission to fulfill.
"Go. I have something to do." I say cryptically. He narrows his eyes at me, but opens the door and begins to get out. "Remember," he says before he leaves, "I'm always right next door."
I grin when the door shuts and the plans are already forming in my head. I know what I have to do. And I'll do it.
TBC
I'm SOOO sorry that took forever but I've been incredibly busy. Thanks to all those that nagged me out of my non-updating state. Hopefully this has satisfied you. even though it was extremely short, which I am also sorry for. My next chapter will, hopefully, be soon. If not, I am REALLY sorry. Thanks again to those who reviewed I'm glad you like the fic so much! Review again and give me a happy!