The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z   

Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.

A/N: Hey! Thanks for the reviews. Lemme just say, I have nothing against Trunks, Gohan, Goten, Piccolo, Krillen, Cell, Frieza (well OK, I hate Frieza), and any other DBZ characters fans. Yoli just takes obsession too far. Oh and, SelestialDemon, you're too cool! Here's Chapter 7.

Chapter 7

            "Hello class. I'm Mrs Son, but you can call me Chi Chi. Today we will be studying frying pans, and the various uses for them…oh, hello. And why, may I ask, are you LATE?" Chi Chi screamed at Nadia and Yoli as they burst through the door, panting.

            "We were…well, we kinda got lost." Yoli explained.

            "Yeah, lost 'cos you saw someone you thought was Vegeta." Nadia glared at Yoli.

            "Hey! He had a nice ass, looked cute in spandex and had the exact same hair!" Yoli defended herself, oblivious to Chi Chi's face turning red…then purple.

            "It was a girl!" Nadia shouted back at her friend.

            "WHEN YOU'VE QUITE FINISHED, CAN YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS?" Chi Chi yelled, her face taking on a bluey-green look. Nadia and Yoli sat at the front, the only spare seats available.

            "I guess everyone was nervous about sitting at the front when Chi Chi was giving us a lesson on frying pans." Yoli whispered, then shut up as Chi Chi gave her a hard glare.

            "Now, before we begin class, I should warn you, anyone being taught by my Gohan or little Goten will do well to remember Gohan is married and Goten is only a child!" Chi Chi glared at the various students around the room who groaned with disappointment. "And if I hear of any suggestive comments, or any touchy-feely stuff, I will not be happy…understood?" All students nodded their heads.

            "Excuse me, Chi Chi." A young girl with short, black hair stood up.

            "Yes?"

            "What about Goku?" She asked.

            "Why you little…. You leave my Goku alone!" Chi Chi's face began taking on the bluey-green look again, and many of the students cowered back as she picked up a frying pan.

            "Eep! Nevermind!" The girl sat back down hurriedly.

            "Good, anyone else want to ask about MY Goku?" Chi Chi emphasised on 'my' and smiled contently when no one dared raise their hand. "Now, where were we? Ah yes, frying pans." She said, rubbing her pan tentatively. "Frying pans are the ultimate weapon, both in the kitchen and out. You can fry almost anything with this baby, and knock out the most powerful warrior in the Universe. Now, I'm handing out your very own frying pan. Do NOT lose it, or else I will be forced to show you the importance of them in a 5 hour-long motion picture."

            "Can you say obsessed?" Yoli said to Nadia, who burst out laughing.

            "You! Whats your name?" Chi Chi demanded, pointing her frying pan at Nadia.

            "Nadia Goodyear." Nadia replied instantly.

            "Well, Miss Goodyear, do you want to view the importance of frying pans? I have it on DVD, video and cassette if you like."

            "Um…no. Thanks. I'm fine." Nadia said quickly.

            "Very well." Chi Chi said coldly, slamming two frying pans in front of Yoli and Nadia.

            "I bet she's got one of these up her ass." Nadia whispered to Yoli, who giggled insanely. Fortunately for the girls, Chi Chi hadn't heard.

            "Now, class is almost over. Your homework is to write down five different ways to use a frying pan. Class dismissed." Chi Chi managed to get out, before the students began talking loudly, crashing their chairs and putting their frying pans in their bags. Nadia and Yoli were the first to leave the room, as Chi Chi stared coldly at them, gripping her frying pan tightly.

            "Damn, that woman is scary!" Yoli complained.

            "I know, where to next?" Nadia asked.

            "Opposite the fountain for The Fusion Dance." Yoli consulted her timetable. "I'm all ready." She said, holding up her bribe money for Trunks.

            "You are so dead if Vegeta catches wind of this." Nadia told her friend.

            "Nu uh! I will be one content, innocent, little girl, with naked pictures of Vegeta." Yoli grinned, making her way outside.

            "Oh yes, what every innocent girl wants for Christmas, naked pictures." Nadia laughed.

            "Well, fine. If you don't wanna see Veggie-Chan in the buff…" Yoli started.

            "I never said that! Of course I do!" Nadia shouted.

            "Chill! Of course I'm gonna share the fineness with you!" Yoli smiled, joining the other students by the fountain.

            "Good!" Nadia grinned, sitting on the edge of the fountain.

            "Hi!" Two high-pitched voices came over the masses of students talking amongst themselves.

            "Before you attack us like our first class did…" Goten started, rubbing his head and grimacing as if remembering something he'd rather forget. "…I'd like to remind you my mum is Chi Chi and for those who had her for Periods 1 and 2 will know she doesn't appreciate people…uh…'touching' me." Goten and Trunks heaved a sigh of relief as the students who were about to tackle them sat down reluctantly.

            "Now, lets get down to business." Trunks raised his eyebrows as various girls giggled at this remark, and various NC-17 comments were passed around. "The Fusion Dance is not very easy to learn, and takes a lot of skill from both parties."

            "We would show you what it was like, but Gotenks isn't very trustworthy." Goten said. Lightbulbs flashed above every single students heads as this remark left Goten's mouth, Trunks and Goten were extremely naïve when it came to teenagers and the lengths they'd go not to be educated. Almost every student with a watch checked the time – it was forty minutes until the end of class, perfect.

            "Aw, that's a shame. I was really looking forward to seeing you do The Fusion Dance aswell." The boy Nadia had seen wearing Spider-man pyjamas on the first day said. He was now wearing a large jumper over tracksuit bottoms.

            "Yeah, I thought you two were cool. But now I see you're just chickens." A girl accused, causing the whole class to break out into fits of chicken noises.

            "Chickens, eh? We'll show you who are the chickens! C'mon Goten!" Trunks said, enraged. Trunks and Goten started doing The Fusion Dance, the students egging them on. A wave of silence washed over the class as a bright light flashed and Gotenks came into view. Everyone cheered.

            "Whats going on?" Nadia asked, waking up from her daydream.

            "Imagining those pictures of Vegeta, huh?" Yoli teased her friend. "We've just persuaded Goten and Trunks to fuse. The plan is; Gotenks won't make us do any work."

            "Cool." Nadia said, not answering Yoli's former question. The class began throwing paper around, examining their frying pans and a queue of girls had formed, to talk to Gotenks. 'Its like a birthday and Christmas at once, 'cept its Trunks and Goten!' as Lea put it.

            "You think fifty quid will be enough to pay off Trunks?" Yoli asked.

            "Of course! He's only a kid, how much will he want?" Nadia reasoned.

            "Yeah, but we are asking him to take pictures of his dad naked."

            "Better throw in your Game Boy, for good measure." Nadia changed her mind.

            "What? Are you crazy? My Game Boy?" Yoli asked incredulously.

            "Good point, add a few games aswell."

            "But…my games…" Yoli looked on the verge of tears.

            "Hey, do you wanna see Vegeta naked or what?" Nadia grinned.

            "Ah well, I guess it'll be worth it."

            "Oh, it sure will!" Yoli took on a dreamy look, not noticing Nadia and the others leave for their next lesson

            "Hellooooooo. Earth to…um Goten, what is her name, again?" Trunks' voice broke through.

            "Uh…Yolanda Smelle." Goten snickered, then squeaked as Yoli grabbed the front of his shirt.

            "That's Yoli!" She screamed.

            "Heh…yeah." Goten agreed.

            "Oi, you. Class is over. You gotta get to your next lesson." Trunks said.

            "Yeah, yeah, I have a question first." Yoli said.

            "Well?"

            "Well, ya see, your dad is, like, totally hot…" Yoli started.

            "Excuse me?" Trunks stared at Yoli, wide-eyed.

            "You heard me. Anywho, I'll give you fifty quid if you get me a video and polaroids of him." Yoli asked.

            "Really? Fifty?" Trunks asked excitedly.

            "One thing…they gotta be nude." Yoli raised her eyebrows as Trunks fell over.

            "Hold on, you want me to take nude pics of my DAD? Are you crazy?" Trunks screamed.

            "Hey, say it, don't spray it. Its not like you have to look at anything! Just set up a camcorder in the bathroom before he takes a shower, then give me the tape. In and out, you don't see a thing." Yoli explained.

            "Well…" Trunks mused.

            "Go on Trunks! Fifty pounds!" Pound signs appeared in Goten's eyes.

            "Fine, I'll throw in my Game Boy and two games." Yoli sniffed at her loss.

            "Uh…OK. Deal." Trunks shook Yoli's hand. "I'll bring them over tonight, just before lights out."

            "Great! I'm gonna see Veggie naked! I'm gonna see Veggie naked! I'm gonna see Veggie naked!" Yoli skipped away, singing. Her next class was with Bulma. Oh, how this was going to be sweet.