Author's Note: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner on this story or my
other! I've been really busy with end of the year testing with school, had
writer's block many times, and brewed up ideas for several more fan fics.
Plus dealing with my other summer goals is kind of bogging me down. It's
also known as I'm trying to do too much at once. Once again, I apologize.
About the story... I've come across two songs that really help set the mood
for this chapter in particular and the whole story in general. Those songs
are "Going Under" by Evanescence and "My Immortal" also by Evanescence.
It's not mandatory to listen to them to get the story but I do recommend
listening to them. Enough of my banter: please read and review! And thanks
to all who have already reviewed. By the way, I don't own Teen Titans but
I do own Firebird and Flamestreak.
Chapter 1 – To Have Lived And Lost
It was still early in the morning and Firebird was the only one up yet. Well, her kitten, Neko, was up too, off somewhere in the Tower. Actually the kitten was a stray that seemed to have adopted Firebird and the Teen Titans as her owners. Her dish of cat food, setting just outside of the kitchen area, was only lightly eaten. Firebird was in the kitchen, moving about the stove. Her CD player bounced against her hip, its strap loosely draped over her shoulder and headphones hanging around her neck. She had switched her radio for her CD player since there wasn't any thing good on the radio this early in the morning. Her CD she had mixed in California was the only CD she had but it had some of her favorite songs on it.
All of the burners were covered with something; two teakettles left to simmer on the two front burners while the pans were on the back two. One of the kettles held Raven's herbal tea and the other was Firebird's favorite Earl Grey tea. Firebird liked almost any tea but had become partial to Earl Grey during her many stays in England. She was making her traditional Sunday breakfast even though it was mid-week: pancakes and eggs. For Beast Boy, she made special eggs and pancakes since he seemed to be a strict vegetarian. She covered the lid on both batches of eggs and set the heat to low to keep them warm. The pancakes, already finished, sat in the microwave to keep warm. She smiled at her handiwork; she may have not been a chef but at least the breakfast turned out fine.
Firebird checked the time, nodding at the clock. The rest of the Titans should be up soon. She fished a cup from a cupboard and poured herself some of her tea, smelling the rich aroma of it. She only liked her tea scalding hot so she slowly let the warmth of the fire that flowed in her veins flow to her hands. She only applied enough heat to nearly boil the tea but not damage the cup, which she could easily do if she wasn't careful. She tested the tea with a slight sip to see if it was hot enough. Sure enough, it numbed the tip of her tounge with the heat until it was able to adjust to the scalding heat of the liquid.
With the cup in hand, Firebird slowly made her way over to the large windows that faced the bay. The view was stunning and the sunrise took her breath away with beautiful splashes of red, blue, and purple. A small meow and brush of fur against her leg let her know that Neko wanted some attention. She giggled and leaned down to pet the brown ginger striped cat. Neko's peculiar crimson colored claws and wide yellow eyes gave her an almost human quality that made Firebird, Beast Boy, and Starfire fall in love with her at first sight. Firebird giggled as she stood up, remembering how much the three of them had pleaded to keep the cat and the other three Titans finally giving in, with a few stipulations of course. She became pensive while watching the sunrise, absentmindedly curling her red and yellow bangs on her finger. There was only one other time she could think of a more splendid sunrise.
Firebird had been staying on a Japanese mountainside with a Japanese couple and their daughter, Izumi. Luckily, they understood and spoke English because with Japanese, Firebird could do neither well. Izumi was gifted like Firebird; she had control over water. They might have been total opposites, in power and other ways, but Firebird and Izumi were the best of friends.
Izumi and Firebird had been sitting on the porch, watching the sunrise in awe. Firebird frown, tears beginning to glitter in her eyes. Later that day, certain... circumstances made it so she had to flee that Japanese mountainside. Today, the mountainside is charred, scoured away by fire, the beautiful forest is gone, and the peaceful retreat is burnt to the ground. The countless animals lives were extinguished like so many candles in the wind in a matter of minutes.
The last Firebird had seen of Izumi, she had been seriously hurt, her water no match for the rampant fire. She had so desperately wanted to help Izumi, save he even, but she was prevented from doing so. For all she knew, Izumi may have died in that fire along with her parents, which Firebird was sure had died. They had all been so nice to her and she had been all too powerless to save them.
Firebird quickly turned away from the window, for fear that her bitterness and anger would get the best of her. It really wasn't her fault anyways, though she felt like it should be. Walking back to the couch, she flopped down onto it, set her glass of tea on the side table, and picked up her book much to Neko's dismay. Neko quickly stalked off to find a less busy area to cuddle up in. Firebird set her red-tinted glasses, which had been on top of the book, beside her along with her gloves that had been serving as makeshift bookmarks. She flipped her headphones back onto her ears, rolling the volume control around to find a comfortable volume. Before settling in for a few good minutes of reading, she downed the last of her tea, delighting in its smooth taste.
Firebird picked up her book, immediately recognizing the opening chords of the song that was playing. The song was 'Going Under' by Evanescence; it was a good song so she didn't bother turning down the volume. 'My Immortal' would follow it, which was another of her favorites.
Firebird let her hand gently glide over the strange symbols embossed on the cover that made up the title of the book. She couldn't decipher what they meant but it didn't truly matter to her as long as the rest of the book was in English, which it was. She cherished it just the same since it was one of her few possessions she owned. It was the story of a girl on a nearly endless journey of self-discovery and battles.
She had only gotten past the first 10 chapters where the girl had first discovered her powers and her immortality. Her immortality was seen as a curse or the work of the devil by many people and those she loved dearly shunned her; she had no choice but to leave. It was as she began her journey that she learned there were others like her that wanted her head, literally. To behead her was the only way to kill her or any other immortal. Vanessa, the immortal girl, had just met up with an immortal man who didn't want her head like the others. They began to travel together and it was a great set up for a bit of romance. It was a very captivating story so far. It made Firebird think back to when she first bought the book. It was at a small nondescript second-hand bookshop in a tiny town in Germany. She loved walking through the shelves of books but the symbol titled book had really caught her intrest for some odd reason. The book was in English, one of the few in the shop to be so. Many of the other books were in German and, though she could read some of it, most of it made her head spin.
All that's left of that enchanting bookshop is a patch of half-melted rubble. Those people even had the audacity to blame her for destroying it along with most of the rest of the town. Firebird wasn't the one trying to demolish the town; she was the one trying to save it. As long as she tried to hide it or deny it, she couldn't much longer. Sooner or later, someone would find out.
Firebird had a sister, a twin sister. As alike they appeared to be, Flamestreak was her Firebird's pure opposite. Flamestreak was evil and had devoted her life to making Firebird's a living nightmare, to drag her back into the life they used to have together by discrediting her and wearing her down. But she would never go back. Never.
'Never will I go back to relive the past. None of this was ever my fault. It was all her fault; it was all Flamestreak's fault. IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!' Firebird thought, the words painfully echoing in her mind.
Anger and intense grief flared strongly within Firebird; she couldn't hold it back as suddenly and powerfully as it had flared. She stood up quickly, her book falling haphazardly to the floor and her CD player clattering to the table, grabbed the cup that had held her tea, and flung it as hard as she could, all in one smooth motion. She barely registered Neko yowling and hissing at her from the kitchen counter.
Firebird let the throw spin her until the crash of the cup shattering on something reached her ears. It didn't even impact her the way she hope it would and quiet the emotions swirling in her head so she felt like ripping up the living room and anything that got in her way. Only one thing stopped her from turning Titans Tower upside down in the worst kind of way; she caught sight of her reflection in the window and stopped short, staring.
Firebird saw her own face twisted in rage, fire lapping at her hands though she hadn't called it forth. Her normally straight hair billowed madly around her face. The thing that scared her the most, her eyes had changed from their normal ice blue, always conveying warmth and happiness, to a deep fire red with flames licking at the edges, brimming with coldness and hatred. She took a few cautious steps forward, unbelieving to what she saw.
It wasn't the change that frightened Firebird – it always happened when she got angry – it was what lurked behind her eyes that scared her; the power of her phoenix form raged to break through. She had no control over that kind of power and it kept her in a perpetual rage; her rage fed her phoenix form power and her phoenix form fed her rage. Until one ran out, the other would last theoretically forever. Theoretically because she had never come so close to letting that power escape until she knew she could master it.
A shuttered gasp racked Firebird's body as she marshaled her negative emotions, burying them back where they belonged. She sighed with relief as the flames and red glow receded from her eyes and hands. She looked around, weariness and a strong sense of humility dampened whatever anger remained, to see what damage she had caused.
Firebird noticed Neko was nowhere to be seen. Her frown deepened; she must have scared her off. Her book lay on the floor; she'd find her place in the story later. Her CD player lay on the side table: luckily not broken it seemed. She set the earphones to her ear to hear if it still worked well. 'Going Under' played without a hitch. She turned it off, clipping it to her skirt as she moved on. Her glasses sat on a table, the left lens cracked; she could easily replace it, but later. Her glove sat stuck in between couch cushions: no harm done. The gathered the items, having to dig around under the cushion for the second glove, bend a few pages back into place before closing the book, and pitching the cracked lens away, before setting them all in a pile on the counter.
While cleaning up Firebird things, the memory of a time before her father showed up and chased away her mother while turning Flamestreak against her surfaced. It was a time when Firebird was protective over Flamestreak, playing the part of big sis. The twins got along very well and big sis Firebird, though only by five minutes, had been very happy. Tears came to Firebird's eyes at the memory of those happy times. At that time, she remembered it wasn't totally Flamestreak's fault that she turned out to be evil, for lack of a better word. It was their father's fault for pushing Flamestreak down that path. Tears and anger threatened to accompany these bittersweet thoughts but she shoved them both away, distracting herself with more work.
It was then that the broken teacup caught her eye. With the force she had put behind the cup, the cup was completely shattered into small shards and the dregs of the tea had made a mess. Firebird frowned slightly as she turned to grab a hand broom and dustpan along with a rag to clean up the dregs. As she made quick work of the mess, she made a decision.
Firebird concluded that everything was getting out of hand; it was time for her to move on. It wasn't that she didn't like the Teen Titans; it was because she liked them that she was leaving. She had been here only a little while but she knew she would miss them. Even though Cyborg and her had started off on the wrong foot, he was beginning to warm up to her. Maybe even Raven was warming up to her too, though with her you couldn't exactly tell. She couldn't trust herself not to do something she would regret later or Flamestreak to not show up and make a mess of things. She had thought of leaving with all of the nagging feelings she had been getting lately but needed a solid reason to: now she had that reason.
Firebird brushed the shards of the cup from the dustpan into the wastebasket and retrieved another cup from the cupboard, pouring her more Earl Gray tea. She took a few seconds to savor the flavor and collect her thoughts more. Thinking while she sipped the tea, she decided to tell the Titans after breakfast her leaving plans. She'd then pack and leave hopefully before lunch. She hated long good-byes, so she hoped they wouldn't make it too hard on her or make her change her mind. She sighed heavily. She desperately wanted help against Flamestreak... No, she couldn't put the Titans in danger, she couldn't ask them.
Speaking of the Teen Titans, footsteps echoed from the hall along with the drone of conversation. Correction, Beast Boy and Cyborg were practically yelling at each other and Starfire seemed to be giggling a lot. A meow and Starfire's coos of 'so cute' also told of Neko's approach. Firebird smiled as she set the table with dishes and the food, intending to make this the best breakfast ever.
Author's note: So how did I do? Please tell me by reviewing; I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to read it anyways! More for my stories should be coming soon and along with a new fic if my stupid writer's block keeps it up! Well, later days!
Chapter 1 – To Have Lived And Lost
It was still early in the morning and Firebird was the only one up yet. Well, her kitten, Neko, was up too, off somewhere in the Tower. Actually the kitten was a stray that seemed to have adopted Firebird and the Teen Titans as her owners. Her dish of cat food, setting just outside of the kitchen area, was only lightly eaten. Firebird was in the kitchen, moving about the stove. Her CD player bounced against her hip, its strap loosely draped over her shoulder and headphones hanging around her neck. She had switched her radio for her CD player since there wasn't any thing good on the radio this early in the morning. Her CD she had mixed in California was the only CD she had but it had some of her favorite songs on it.
All of the burners were covered with something; two teakettles left to simmer on the two front burners while the pans were on the back two. One of the kettles held Raven's herbal tea and the other was Firebird's favorite Earl Grey tea. Firebird liked almost any tea but had become partial to Earl Grey during her many stays in England. She was making her traditional Sunday breakfast even though it was mid-week: pancakes and eggs. For Beast Boy, she made special eggs and pancakes since he seemed to be a strict vegetarian. She covered the lid on both batches of eggs and set the heat to low to keep them warm. The pancakes, already finished, sat in the microwave to keep warm. She smiled at her handiwork; she may have not been a chef but at least the breakfast turned out fine.
Firebird checked the time, nodding at the clock. The rest of the Titans should be up soon. She fished a cup from a cupboard and poured herself some of her tea, smelling the rich aroma of it. She only liked her tea scalding hot so she slowly let the warmth of the fire that flowed in her veins flow to her hands. She only applied enough heat to nearly boil the tea but not damage the cup, which she could easily do if she wasn't careful. She tested the tea with a slight sip to see if it was hot enough. Sure enough, it numbed the tip of her tounge with the heat until it was able to adjust to the scalding heat of the liquid.
With the cup in hand, Firebird slowly made her way over to the large windows that faced the bay. The view was stunning and the sunrise took her breath away with beautiful splashes of red, blue, and purple. A small meow and brush of fur against her leg let her know that Neko wanted some attention. She giggled and leaned down to pet the brown ginger striped cat. Neko's peculiar crimson colored claws and wide yellow eyes gave her an almost human quality that made Firebird, Beast Boy, and Starfire fall in love with her at first sight. Firebird giggled as she stood up, remembering how much the three of them had pleaded to keep the cat and the other three Titans finally giving in, with a few stipulations of course. She became pensive while watching the sunrise, absentmindedly curling her red and yellow bangs on her finger. There was only one other time she could think of a more splendid sunrise.
Firebird had been staying on a Japanese mountainside with a Japanese couple and their daughter, Izumi. Luckily, they understood and spoke English because with Japanese, Firebird could do neither well. Izumi was gifted like Firebird; she had control over water. They might have been total opposites, in power and other ways, but Firebird and Izumi were the best of friends.
Izumi and Firebird had been sitting on the porch, watching the sunrise in awe. Firebird frown, tears beginning to glitter in her eyes. Later that day, certain... circumstances made it so she had to flee that Japanese mountainside. Today, the mountainside is charred, scoured away by fire, the beautiful forest is gone, and the peaceful retreat is burnt to the ground. The countless animals lives were extinguished like so many candles in the wind in a matter of minutes.
The last Firebird had seen of Izumi, she had been seriously hurt, her water no match for the rampant fire. She had so desperately wanted to help Izumi, save he even, but she was prevented from doing so. For all she knew, Izumi may have died in that fire along with her parents, which Firebird was sure had died. They had all been so nice to her and she had been all too powerless to save them.
Firebird quickly turned away from the window, for fear that her bitterness and anger would get the best of her. It really wasn't her fault anyways, though she felt like it should be. Walking back to the couch, she flopped down onto it, set her glass of tea on the side table, and picked up her book much to Neko's dismay. Neko quickly stalked off to find a less busy area to cuddle up in. Firebird set her red-tinted glasses, which had been on top of the book, beside her along with her gloves that had been serving as makeshift bookmarks. She flipped her headphones back onto her ears, rolling the volume control around to find a comfortable volume. Before settling in for a few good minutes of reading, she downed the last of her tea, delighting in its smooth taste.
Firebird picked up her book, immediately recognizing the opening chords of the song that was playing. The song was 'Going Under' by Evanescence; it was a good song so she didn't bother turning down the volume. 'My Immortal' would follow it, which was another of her favorites.
Firebird let her hand gently glide over the strange symbols embossed on the cover that made up the title of the book. She couldn't decipher what they meant but it didn't truly matter to her as long as the rest of the book was in English, which it was. She cherished it just the same since it was one of her few possessions she owned. It was the story of a girl on a nearly endless journey of self-discovery and battles.
She had only gotten past the first 10 chapters where the girl had first discovered her powers and her immortality. Her immortality was seen as a curse or the work of the devil by many people and those she loved dearly shunned her; she had no choice but to leave. It was as she began her journey that she learned there were others like her that wanted her head, literally. To behead her was the only way to kill her or any other immortal. Vanessa, the immortal girl, had just met up with an immortal man who didn't want her head like the others. They began to travel together and it was a great set up for a bit of romance. It was a very captivating story so far. It made Firebird think back to when she first bought the book. It was at a small nondescript second-hand bookshop in a tiny town in Germany. She loved walking through the shelves of books but the symbol titled book had really caught her intrest for some odd reason. The book was in English, one of the few in the shop to be so. Many of the other books were in German and, though she could read some of it, most of it made her head spin.
All that's left of that enchanting bookshop is a patch of half-melted rubble. Those people even had the audacity to blame her for destroying it along with most of the rest of the town. Firebird wasn't the one trying to demolish the town; she was the one trying to save it. As long as she tried to hide it or deny it, she couldn't much longer. Sooner or later, someone would find out.
Firebird had a sister, a twin sister. As alike they appeared to be, Flamestreak was her Firebird's pure opposite. Flamestreak was evil and had devoted her life to making Firebird's a living nightmare, to drag her back into the life they used to have together by discrediting her and wearing her down. But she would never go back. Never.
'Never will I go back to relive the past. None of this was ever my fault. It was all her fault; it was all Flamestreak's fault. IT WAS ALL HER FAULT!' Firebird thought, the words painfully echoing in her mind.
Anger and intense grief flared strongly within Firebird; she couldn't hold it back as suddenly and powerfully as it had flared. She stood up quickly, her book falling haphazardly to the floor and her CD player clattering to the table, grabbed the cup that had held her tea, and flung it as hard as she could, all in one smooth motion. She barely registered Neko yowling and hissing at her from the kitchen counter.
Firebird let the throw spin her until the crash of the cup shattering on something reached her ears. It didn't even impact her the way she hope it would and quiet the emotions swirling in her head so she felt like ripping up the living room and anything that got in her way. Only one thing stopped her from turning Titans Tower upside down in the worst kind of way; she caught sight of her reflection in the window and stopped short, staring.
Firebird saw her own face twisted in rage, fire lapping at her hands though she hadn't called it forth. Her normally straight hair billowed madly around her face. The thing that scared her the most, her eyes had changed from their normal ice blue, always conveying warmth and happiness, to a deep fire red with flames licking at the edges, brimming with coldness and hatred. She took a few cautious steps forward, unbelieving to what she saw.
It wasn't the change that frightened Firebird – it always happened when she got angry – it was what lurked behind her eyes that scared her; the power of her phoenix form raged to break through. She had no control over that kind of power and it kept her in a perpetual rage; her rage fed her phoenix form power and her phoenix form fed her rage. Until one ran out, the other would last theoretically forever. Theoretically because she had never come so close to letting that power escape until she knew she could master it.
A shuttered gasp racked Firebird's body as she marshaled her negative emotions, burying them back where they belonged. She sighed with relief as the flames and red glow receded from her eyes and hands. She looked around, weariness and a strong sense of humility dampened whatever anger remained, to see what damage she had caused.
Firebird noticed Neko was nowhere to be seen. Her frown deepened; she must have scared her off. Her book lay on the floor; she'd find her place in the story later. Her CD player lay on the side table: luckily not broken it seemed. She set the earphones to her ear to hear if it still worked well. 'Going Under' played without a hitch. She turned it off, clipping it to her skirt as she moved on. Her glasses sat on a table, the left lens cracked; she could easily replace it, but later. Her glove sat stuck in between couch cushions: no harm done. The gathered the items, having to dig around under the cushion for the second glove, bend a few pages back into place before closing the book, and pitching the cracked lens away, before setting them all in a pile on the counter.
While cleaning up Firebird things, the memory of a time before her father showed up and chased away her mother while turning Flamestreak against her surfaced. It was a time when Firebird was protective over Flamestreak, playing the part of big sis. The twins got along very well and big sis Firebird, though only by five minutes, had been very happy. Tears came to Firebird's eyes at the memory of those happy times. At that time, she remembered it wasn't totally Flamestreak's fault that she turned out to be evil, for lack of a better word. It was their father's fault for pushing Flamestreak down that path. Tears and anger threatened to accompany these bittersweet thoughts but she shoved them both away, distracting herself with more work.
It was then that the broken teacup caught her eye. With the force she had put behind the cup, the cup was completely shattered into small shards and the dregs of the tea had made a mess. Firebird frowned slightly as she turned to grab a hand broom and dustpan along with a rag to clean up the dregs. As she made quick work of the mess, she made a decision.
Firebird concluded that everything was getting out of hand; it was time for her to move on. It wasn't that she didn't like the Teen Titans; it was because she liked them that she was leaving. She had been here only a little while but she knew she would miss them. Even though Cyborg and her had started off on the wrong foot, he was beginning to warm up to her. Maybe even Raven was warming up to her too, though with her you couldn't exactly tell. She couldn't trust herself not to do something she would regret later or Flamestreak to not show up and make a mess of things. She had thought of leaving with all of the nagging feelings she had been getting lately but needed a solid reason to: now she had that reason.
Firebird brushed the shards of the cup from the dustpan into the wastebasket and retrieved another cup from the cupboard, pouring her more Earl Gray tea. She took a few seconds to savor the flavor and collect her thoughts more. Thinking while she sipped the tea, she decided to tell the Titans after breakfast her leaving plans. She'd then pack and leave hopefully before lunch. She hated long good-byes, so she hoped they wouldn't make it too hard on her or make her change her mind. She sighed heavily. She desperately wanted help against Flamestreak... No, she couldn't put the Titans in danger, she couldn't ask them.
Speaking of the Teen Titans, footsteps echoed from the hall along with the drone of conversation. Correction, Beast Boy and Cyborg were practically yelling at each other and Starfire seemed to be giggling a lot. A meow and Starfire's coos of 'so cute' also told of Neko's approach. Firebird smiled as she set the table with dishes and the food, intending to make this the best breakfast ever.
Author's note: So how did I do? Please tell me by reviewing; I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for taking the time to read it anyways! More for my stories should be coming soon and along with a new fic if my stupid writer's block keeps it up! Well, later days!