The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z   

Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.

A/N: Here's Chapter 9, enjoy!

Chapter 9

            "Oh yes Mr Vegeta, take a look at our room." Nadia mocked her friend as they sat outside a room on the Forbidden Floor. Vegeta had mentioned something about counselling.

            "Its only instinct to get him to go into my bedroom!" Yoli defended herself. "Besides, you made it seem as if I had a thing for turtles!"

            "Well maybe if you thought before opening your big trap!"

            "How was I supposed to know he was standing at the door? I was excited! I'd just seen him naked for crying out loud, of course I was excited! Now he's taken the pictures. I swapped my Game Boy for nothing!" Yoli hung her head.

            "Maybe we'd have just got a warning from Piccolo, I think he's the Vice, but no! Sex-obsessed Yoli had to get a good look at his ass!" Nadia practically screamed at Yoli.

            "Hello! We're talking about Vegeta here! He was wearing spandex! How could I resist? Anyway, he hadn't noticed until you screamed 'This is no time to look at his ass'!" Yoli screamed back.

"You saying it's my fault? No way! He's a Saiyan! Nothing gets past him! Did you forget that fact when you whispered 'I wonder what punishment he has in mind' and 'I nearly didn't recognise him with clothes on'?"

            "Well excuse me!" Yoli shouted.

            "Yeah well, it was all your fault." Nadia muttered.

            "Maybe so, but you must admit, he sings pretty good in the shower." Yoli and Nadia burst out laughing.

            "I'm sorry about your Game Boy." Nadia said.

            "Yeah, its alright. It was…" Yoli trailed off as the door swung open.

            "Please, come in." A somewhat mysterious, yet recognisable, voice said. Nadia and Yoli looked at each other before entering. The room was rather dark, the only light coming from a corner of the room. Large bookcases were scattered about, filled with books along the lines of 'Children=Bad News' and 'Why Is My Daughter A Bitch?' and various other titles. The floor was made entirely of wood, making it different to the usual scheme of the University. A few posters were scattered along otherwise bare walls, but it was too dark to see clearly. A large desk stood in the centre of the room, opposite were two large, brown armchairs. A plant pot was situated on the desk, in which someone was sitting behind in a hard back wooden chair. The 'someone' pressed a button and the room filled with light.

            "C-C-C-Cell?" Yoli stuttered.

            "Hello Nadia. Hello Yoli. Do you mind if I call you Yoli?" Cell spoke in a soft voice, peering over the top of his glasses.

            "I…guess not." Yoli choked out.

            "Oh, where are my manners? Please, both of you take a seat." Cell offered, pointing at the two armchairs. Both girls complied and sat down. "Now, I see we've had a bit of…trouble, Nadia?" Cell opened a large, heavy book entitled 'Nadia Goodyear'.

            "Uh…what do you mean?" Nadia asked.

            "Lets see; painting another students dorm, bribing, food fights, looking at unsuitable pictures…"

            "Oh, they were suitable all right!" Yoli chimed in.

            "Yoli, are you feeling a lack of attention?" Cell asked, softly.

            "Huh? No. Why?" Yoli seemed puzzled.

            "I will ask the questions. I was addressing Nadia, yet you chimed in with a comment of your own. Are you feeling hurt, angry, upset?"

            "You what? What is this shit?" Yoli didn't enjoy being called an attention-seeker.

            "Ah yes, aggressiveness." Cell ticked a box on his piece of paper.

            "Oh no. He did not call me aggressive. Green boy did not call me aggressive. You wanna see aggressiveness? I'll show you aggressiveness!" Yoli yelled. "Nadia! Let go! Nadia!"

            "Yoli!" Nadia hissed. "This is Cell here. Kakkorrot or Vegeta couldn't destroy him, what makes you think you can?" Nadia reasoned.

            "Nothing, but I'll have fun trying!"

            "Sit down!" Nadia hissed, controlling her friend.

            "Now, as I was saying; Nadia, when did you arrive at the University?" Cell continued.

            "Uh…on Sunday, yesterday." Nadia answered.

            "You arrived yesterday, and you're already having counselling?" Cell asked.

            "Its that dumb, yet incredibly hot, Vegeta! He's pissed at us." Yoli interrupted.

            "Why do you think that is?" Cell asked, writing some notes onto his paper.

            "I have no idea!" Yoli said.

            "How about you Nadia?" Cell asked.

            "I dunno. Probably 'cos we found some pictures of him." Nadia lied.

            "Found? What kind of pictures did you…'find'?"

            "Nothing much." Nadia lied again.

            "Ha. Nothing much. They were a lot more than that." Yoli laughed. "Nah, he was kinda, naked, in them. I dunno why he got pissed. He's got nothing to be ashamed of, believe me!"

            "And you say you found these pictures?" Cell asked. "Then why did a certain Chibi say you bribed him to take these supposed 'found' pictures?" Cell demanded when the girls nodded their heads.

            "Stupid purple-haired brat! That's it! He is dead!" Yoli yelled enraged.

            "Ah, so you did bribe Trunks?" 

            "No! That's just what she'd say if it'd really happened, which it didn't." Nadia said quickly.

            "How did you know it was Trunks, though?" Cell asked, smiling.

            "You…you said?" Yoli took a stab in the dark.

            "I only mentioned Chibi. I said nothing about Trunks."

            "Whoops." Yoli muttered. "Well, so what? I bribed Trunks into taking some pictures of his dad's naked ass in the shower, and I come back with the full frontal. I'm not complaining! It was fun, and ya know what? I'd do it again!" Yoli cackled, her eye twitching insanely.

            "I'm sure." Was all Cell said as he scribbled furiously onto his paper. "Now, whats this I hear about a Turtle obsession? You find them, and I quote, 'the slow way they swim. Totally erotic!'"

            "Oh that! I was just covering up so Vegeta wouldn't kick our ass'. Don't worry, your safe…for now." Yoli winked at Cell.

            "Ow!" Nadia said, as she fell off her chair. Cell stood up suddenly, his chair scraping across the wooden floor.

            "Whats wrong Cell, baby?" Yoli's voice went seductive all of a sudden.

            "No…keep away!" Cell screamed, covering his face with his arms.

            "Aw, give Yoli a little hug." Yoli advanced towards Cell, who was looking around for an escape route. The door opened, and Cell scurried out of the room in a blur of green.

            "What the hell got up his ass?" Vegeta demanded.

            "I guess he can't handle us." Yoli grinned. "But you can, can't ya Veggie-Chan?" Yoli was feeling brave after her accomplishment with Cell.

            "I suggest you shut your mouth, brat." Vegeta growled. "Its 10:45pm, counselling is over…forever now, I guess." Vegeta said as he studied the Cell-shaped hole created in the wall. Yoli and Nadia followed Vegeta out of the room.

            "What the hell was all that Cell-mushy stuff?" Nadia hissed to Yoli.

            "Huh? Oh, well he said I was aggressive! Cheeky green asshole! So, I screwed with his head." Yoli whispered back.

            "As you do." Nadia replied.

            "Shhh!" Vegeta hissed at them.

            "Veggie-Chan is mad!" Yoli grinned at Nadia. "Ow!" She yelped as Nadia kicked her.

            "Ecks-nay on the Veggie-Chan-ay. Remember he's a Saiyan-ay?" Nadia hissed in code.

            "You what-ay?" Yoli shouted. "You what?" She whispered, after getting a cold look from Vegeta.

            "Nevermind." Nadia shook her head. Some people were just born dumb.

            "Here." Vegeta said as they approached their dorm. "Lights out now. No food fights either." Vegeta smirked.

            "Huh? We…" Yoli trailed off.

            "I know it was you two. No food fights or else." Vegeta threatened.

            "Hey! We were defending you! Those Kakkorrot losers started it, anyway!" Yoli argued.

            "C'mon Yoli!" Nadia pulled Yoli through the door before Vegeta had chance to beat her.

            "Night Veggie-Chan! You should sing in the shower more often!" Yoli called to Vegeta.

            "Yoli you prick!" Nadia screamed, pushing her friend out of the way as a ki blast came through the door. It hit the wall opposite, just missing the portable TV.

            "Hey, Nadia." Yoli said.

            "What?" Nadia mumbled, getting beneath her duvet.

            "Fancy looking at some naked Vegeta?" Yoli asked.

            "Yoli, I'd love to. But he took the photos. Now go to sleep!" Nadia said.

            "But he forgot the tape." Yoli grinned.