The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z
Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic. All Trunks quotes are taken from 'Trunks Shrine' with permission.
A/N: Here's Chapter 11, enjoy!
Chapter 11
"Now, when I say 'So you wanna see my sword, huh?' What does that mean?" Mirai Trunks asked the class. He was obviously new to this. "You." Trunks pointed to a girl to the left of him, who blushed.
"That…uh…heehee, well you know!"
"What do I know?" Trunks asked, confused.
"In other words, you mean your dick!" Yoli stood up and shouted as Nadia cringed. It had been the fourth time she'd shouted obscenities that the rest of the class had been too embarrassed to answer.
"Uh, no, that's not it." Trunks blushed, as did everyone else save Yoli. "It means, 'Do you want to see my sword?' as in, 'I'm going to destroy you with my sword'. Write that down please." Trunks instructed.
"Psssh. He is totally making this stuff up!" Yoli scoffed.
"Now, are there any questions? Yes, you in the corner." Trunks asked.
"What about when you say, 'Please Krillin, just swallow this!'"
"Well I think that's pretty self-explanatory." Yoli snickered.
"And what about when Mr Popo says, referring to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber you and Vegeta are in, 'I hear strange noises coming out of the room'" Another girl asked.
"Are you saying my Skittles is gay?" Yoli demanded, outraged.
"Calm down! All of these comments have suitable, non-sexual related answers." Trunks said, blushing at the teenager's dirty minds.
"Oooo! Oooo! In one episode, Cell goes something like, 'I can have Vegeta any time I want, but right now I want you.' Are you and Cell romantically involved?" A boy asked.
"No! I despise Cell! However, I can see how that line is misleading, but believe me, it is not sexual." Trunks mouthed the word 'sexual'.
"'Oh no, my mom's back! Don't tell her about this, please Gohan!' is another one! Trunks, what exactly do you do when Bulma isn't around?" The girl at Number 16 asked, winking.
"Oh, I…I…its is all explainable!" Trunks stammered, going bright red.
"Trunks, are you involved with my Skittles?" Yoli demanded, referring to Vegeta.
"Excuse me?" Trunks tried composing himself.
"You say, and I quote, 'Father, stop! We have to wait for Goku!' Are you involved with my Skittles? I find that repulsive! Your own dad! And that low-life Kakkorrot! Not to mention Vegeta, uh, I mean Skittles, is mine!" Yoli said, disgusted.
"OK! No more quotes!" Trunks yelled, covering his ears. "Laalaalaalaalaalaalaalaa." He sang off key.
"What about when you say…" One girl started.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Trunks yelled, flying out of the window.
"Yay! Free period!" Yoli called, just as the bell went. "Aw crap, maybe not. Fuck! Parental Skills in here! Oooo! With Cell!" Yoli took on a devilish look.
"Yoli, you drove him crazy – literally! We'll probably have a cover or something." Nadia told her friend.
"Be quiet, brats!" Vegeta stormed into the room, as if on cue.
"He's gonna teach us Parental Skills?" Nadia asked, dumbstruck.
"God knows, but I've seen him naked so I'm happy." Yoli's face lit up. Vegeta slammed a case marked 'Parental Skills' onto the desk, causing the Trunks fans to move towards the back. Yoli and Nadia took this opportunity and quickly swapped places. It seemed them two were the only Vegeta fans in the room, as the front row was empty save them.
"Parental Skills. Uh…did you know you could get pregnant the first…ah!" Vegeta dropped the pamphlet he was reading from. It landed on Yoli's desk, well the one next to her, and a picture of a woman breast-feeding came into view.
"I think my little Skittles is shy." Yoli whispered to Nadia.
"Lets see, what else do we have in here…" Vegeta rummaged around the case. "A cucumber, now, what do we do with this?" Vegeta looked confused. He picked up a sheet of paper marked 'Instructions' and dropped the cucumber immediately. A look of disgust covered his face, and he looked slightly flustered.
"Uh…Mr…uh…Vegeta?" A girl raised her hand.
"What, brat?" Vegeta snapped.
"I thought we were having Cell?"
"So did I, until some trouble-maker decided to come onto him, scarring him for life. He is having therapy until furthur notice." Vegeta said, and Yoli took a bow. "Not you two!" Vegeta groaned.
"Glad to see you remember me, Skittles!" Yoli smiled.
"Shut it, brat! Screw this, all of you, out to the Gravity Room, now! Last one does one hundred and one press-ups." Vegeta flew off to the Gravity Room, hoards of students running after him.
~*~
"Now, lets see what you puny weaklings can do. Press-ups, now!" Vegeta barked.
"I am so dreading tomorrow and Thursday when we have him! This isn't even a proper lesson and it's already hard!" Nadia moaned, attempting to do a press up.
"Yeah, but he's wearing spandex!" Yoli grinned.
"Yoli, he always wears spandex!" Nadia laughed.
"Who always wears spandex?" Vegeta demanded, approaching Nadia from behind.
"My Skittles." Yoli beamed, thinking she was extremely clever. Nadia kicked her. 'He doesn't know who I'm talking about' Yoli mouthed to her friend.
"Less talking, more working!" Vegeta walked away.
"If he found out you were talking about him…" Nadia warned.
"But he didn't, so lighten up and have some fun here, k? When's the next time you'll be at a University where Vegeta teaches you how to train in spandex and you can bribe his purple-haired asshole of a son to take a nude, and might I add pornographic, video of his dad! Even if he stabs you in the back and grasses on you! Oh, just you wait 'til Thursday, the purple-haired wonder is dead." Yoli threatened.
"I bet all you weaklings are wondering what gravity this room is set at? Any guesses?" Vegeta smirked.
"Two hundred!" A boy shouted from the corner.
"Ha!" Vegeta scoffed. "Lower!"
"One hundred!" A girl shouted.
"Lower." Vegeta yawned.
"Fifty?" Someone asked, uncertainly.
"Lower." Vegeta began smirking again.
"Ten!" A girl laughed at the stupid possibility of ten, then abruptly stopped when she heard Vegeta's answer.
"Lower!"
"What?" The majority of the students stopped working and looked at Vegeta incredulously.
"Zero." Vegeta gave a self-satisfied grin. "You are working at zero times Earth's gravity. Zero!" Vegeta's voice boomed around the chamber.
"Don't we feel special?" Nadia muttered.
"Hey, I just got an idea! How about we sell copies of that videotape of Vegeta? We'll make thousands!" Yoli's eyes lit up.
"No way!" Nadia objected. "Vegeta will find out, and then…" Nadia made a slicing motion across her throat.
"Fine, spoilt sport." Yoli sulked.
"Can the girl that is hoping to follow in Roshi's footsteps as a pervert and her friend with an erotic fascination for turtles please stand up!" Vegeta ordered rather than asked. Yoli and Nadia stood up immediately. Nadia blushed crimson, Yoli didn't, nothing embarrassed her.
"Yep? What can we do for ya?" Yoli asked casually.
"You can start by shutting your mouth, brat!" Vegeta screamed, the vein on his forehead becoming prominent. "Out to the front. I want you two to do five press ups."
"Five? Easy as shit! What do we get out of it?" Yoli boasted.
"You succeed, I will give you anything you want." Vegeta smirked.
"Anything?" Yoli raised an eyebrow, grinning devilishly.
"Stupid teenager minds. Need a good cleaning out." Vegeta mumbled. "Yes, anything." Vegeta smirked, knowing he would win the bet.
"Great! And if we lose, which we won't, you can…um…" Yoli began to think, something that hurt like hell.
"I will see you both at my calling as my personal slaves." Vegeta's smirk grew wider.
"Deal!" Yoli agreed.
"Yoli!" Nadia protested. "I can't do press ups!" She hissed.
"C'mon, only five and we get anything!" Yoli glanced at Vegeta. "Please?"
"Fine, but only 'cos anything sounds pretty good to me." Nadia grinned.
"OK, five press ups. Woah, hold up." Vegeta smirked as Yoli and Nadia gave him a puzzled look from where they'd started their press ups. "I need to set the gravity first."
"But…oof!" Nadia and Yoli said in unison, as their bodies hit the floor and they couldn't move.