Chapter 2
The men of SG-1 entered the grocery store. Daniel grabbed a cart and Jack pulled out the list while Teal'c picked up a circular. They made short work of the list, and soon the cart was full. Teal'c stood looking at the cart and frowned.
"Something wrong Teal'c?" Jack asked his friend and comrade.
"O'Neill, as Major Carter is healing should we not include a variety of foods to promote her good health?"
Jack glanced at Daniel, who shrugged, than he regarded the cart thoughtfully. They had milk, meat for burgers, bread, frozen pizza, hot dogs, Mac n' cheese, ice cream, cheese puffs and potato chips... Looked like a good variety of foods to him. He picked up the box of fruit loops. "Cereal is healthy Teal'c."
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. Daniel jumped in. "Jack, I think what Teal'c means is maybe we should get some fruits and vegetables or something."
Realization dawned on Jack's face. Carter would probably go for that. He quickly checked the contents of the cart. "Well the vegetable soup should cover one part of that." He spied some wrapped fruit baskets on an end display. "What about one of those?" He asked, pointing them out. Teal'c walked over and picked one up, it contained a variety of oranges, apples, banana's, grapes, and even some pears.
"I believe this will be most pleasing to Major Carter." Teal'c said with conviction as he placed the fruit basket in the cart on top of the soda.
Jack grinned. He thought they'd done rather well, and imagined Carter would be pleasantly surprised. She probably didn't think any of them knew how to shop. They'd even got a few good deals thanks to Teal'c grabbing that circular. Who would have thought that the Jaffa was a born bargain hunter? Especially considering that Teal'c had only been to a large grocery store a few times in his life, mostly on excursions to help Jack get supplies for one of his weekend barbeques.
Looking back down at his list, and Jack's smile faded. One item left. He toyed with the idea of saying they should get back quickly and he should start getting their purchases checked out and let Daniel and Teal'c go and get the last item. He sighed. It wouldn't work, even though Daniel and Teal'c had both been married before, they hadn't exactly ever needed to run out in the middle of the night for necessities. A position Jack had been in several times for Sara.
Making up his mind quickly, Jack gave his best military order voice, "Lets all of us go get Carter's thing and get out of here." He said, emphasizing the "all of us." They would all go, together. Jack felt that the "no one gets left behind" rule applied to the current circumstances.
Daniel and Teal'c, who had finally been told exactly what it was that Major Carter wanted, looked like they wanted to protest, but Jack had already headed off to the "Health and Beauty" section of the store, pushing the cart. They had no choice but to follow.
Jack rounded the corner into the aisle helpfully labeled "Feminine Hygiene Products" and stopped. He felt Teal'c and Daniel stop just behind him. The three men stood, and stared in awe at the wide array of products on both sides of the short aisle. Not even Jack was prepared for the staggering array of various items. The few times Sara had needed him to get such things for her (on threat of loss of limb or life) he'd just run to the corner store to grab it. There had only been a small selection of one or two brands and a few different types of each. But these... there were dozens of different things, all different shapes and sizes and colors. And there were so many pink and pastel colors. Jack found it disturbing, not to mention incredibly uncomfortable. Daniel and Teal'c looked ready to bolt, and Daniel was a brilliant shade of pink not unlike some of the packages on display.
Before he lost courage, Jack scowled at the item on the list, written in Carter's distinctive scrawl, committing the details to memory before he passed the list to Daniel and Teal'c. "If we all look for what Carter wants we'll find it faster." He said as way of explanation.
Soon all three men were scanning the shelves. Daniel's blush had faded, but he still looked afraid to touch anything. Teal'c was staring at the shelves in undisguised amazement. "O'Neill, I do not understand why such a staggering array of products are available for such a natural task."
Jack wasn't sure how to answer that one. He looked to Daniel for help, but Daniel's look of embarrassment had melted into one of open curiosity. "I never knew there were so many different things out there for... uh... "Daniel faltered, and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "You know." He finished, blurting the rest out, and looked away, blushing again.
Teal'c had ventured forward and picked up a blue plastic wrapped package. "O'Neill," He said, "Why do they have wings?" Teal'c was staring at the package as if it would take flight.
"Teal'c put that down. Lets just find the thing Carter wants, and get back, I don't like leaving her alone for too long." Jack glared at the array of products. "I swear, women made all of these things just to confuse men."
The men returned to scanning the shelves, Daniel or Teal'c occasionally voicing a comment over products that offered a "light feminine scent" whatever that was, or announced that they had "superior absorbency" or "leak protection for the active woman." Jack just scowled.
After several minutes of searching, the three had still not found the product that Carter had written down. Jack checked the list again, verifying they were all looking for the right thing. He couldn't believe that with all the things there to choose from, the one they wanted wouldn't be there. Jack voiced his opinion to the others, who agreed.
Teal'c spoke up. "I believe we should ask for assistance O'Neill." Before O'Neill could decide if that was such a good idea, Teal'c had headed off. Jack shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and glanced at Daniel, who seemed to be making an effort not to look at anything for too long, as if worried someone would enter the aisle at any moment and wonder what he found so fascinating. Fortunately, for SG-1, there didn't seem to be anyone in need of "feminine hygiene products" on this slow weekday afternoon. Heck, even the name seemed as if it intended to warn men to stay away.
Jack didn't have long to speculate, Teal'c returned quickly with a young man with freckles and dark hair. His smock proclaimed him to be a store employee. The gawky kid, who looked to be in his late teens, looked rather intimidated by the large Jaffa, even though Teal'c was dressed in jeans, boots, a button down shirt and a large Stetson covering his gold tattoo. Or maybe it was the clothes that intimidated the kid. The kid's eyes widened as he took in Daniel and the glaring colonel. Jack tried to make his expression behave as showed the list to the kid and pointed out the item they were looking for.
The kid swallowed nervously as he looked at the item in question, than at the three men. Teal'c had his arms crossed, Daniel was hovering nearby, and Jack's glare had returned. "Uh... " The kid said. "Yes sirs. We uh carry that, it should be right over..." The kid trailed off as his eyes came to rest on the empty space on the shelf where the product should have been. The kid gulped. "Ummm I'm sorry sirs, but I just checked for that this morning and we are all out, just sold the last one." He backed away, keeping his eye on the large black man and the older looking man who looked a lot like a battle hardened soldier. He edged past the younger man with glasses that seemed to be the least threatening of the three. Even still the man looked strong enough to beat him to a pulp, but at least he wasn't glaring like the older man was. "I n-need to uh get back to uh w-work." The kid stammered as he turned tail and all but ran from the aisle.
Daniel and Teal'c turned to Jack, clearly wondering what to do next. "Perhaps we should try another establishment O'Neill." Said Teal'c.
Jack quickly made up his mind, and shook his head. "No, lets just each of us pick one of these things. We'll tell Carter they were out of the one she wanted. They can't be all that different, and if we each pick out one, she can have a choice." Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement. Sounded like a good plan to them, and they were all eager to leave the aisle before someone saw them and get back to Sam to make sure she was still ok.
As the only one who had had a wife on earth, and the most experienced with earth products for that "time of the month" Jack decided on a product with a different brand that seemed to match the same description to what Carter had written down. Daniel settled for one that was the same brand, but a slightly larger size. He thought bigger would be better in this case, than to get something too small.
Teal'c seemed to be thinking along those same lines. He had a pretty fair idea as to what happened in a woman's body once a month, although the details were sketchy. His wife had never been very forthcoming with details, and during that time it was best not to cross one's wife with questions she felt were unnecessary. There were some things that were best left as being labeled mysteries, the secrets known only to women.
Even though Teal'c didn't know much about what went on exactly, from what he did know he surmised that it was incredibly messy. He had spied something on the opposite side of the aisle that he felt would by much more suitable than the small absorbent pads displayed in neat packages. Teal'c picked up his selection, and showed it to the others. "I believe this product offers superior absorption and leak protection." He said proudly.
Daniel and Jack stared at Teal'c. They looked at each other, and back to Teal'c. Jack's mouth worked to say something, but no words came out. How to explain to the Jaffa that Carter did not need Depends? He nudged Daniel. "You tell him.' Daniel nudged Jack back. "No, Jack, you tell him." Jack glared at Daniel, than sighed. "Fine. I'll tell him."
Teal'c looked at O'Neill expectantly. He did not understand why there was a problem with his selection. "Uh, Teal'c, buddy. Carter won't want those. You see, uh... well, they are for another problem actually..." Jack trailed off. "Look, just pick something else ok?" He nudged Daniel who firmly took the package out of Teal'c's hands and placed it back on the shelf. Jack motioned to the correct items, and Teal'c nodded, still confused, but he would trust that Jack and Daniel knew what they were talking about. Teal'c decided to go with one of the products that had wings. He was still curious about them, but neither Daniel nor O'Neill seemed inclined to answer his question. Perhaps Major Carter would appreciate the wings, being in the air force. Maybe she would be able to explain why the wings were needed. He filed his question away for later.
"Okay kids, we ready to go?" Jack threw his selection into the cart, and watched as Daniel and Teal'c placed theirs in as well, Daniel practically dropping his as if it burned him.
Without further ado, the threesome headed to the checkout. The clerk had seemed mildly curious as to why the three men were buying so many different maxi pads, but wisely chose not to mention it. In short order, the three men had paid for their purchases and loaded the supplies into the back of Jack's truck.
The men of SG-1 entered the grocery store. Daniel grabbed a cart and Jack pulled out the list while Teal'c picked up a circular. They made short work of the list, and soon the cart was full. Teal'c stood looking at the cart and frowned.
"Something wrong Teal'c?" Jack asked his friend and comrade.
"O'Neill, as Major Carter is healing should we not include a variety of foods to promote her good health?"
Jack glanced at Daniel, who shrugged, than he regarded the cart thoughtfully. They had milk, meat for burgers, bread, frozen pizza, hot dogs, Mac n' cheese, ice cream, cheese puffs and potato chips... Looked like a good variety of foods to him. He picked up the box of fruit loops. "Cereal is healthy Teal'c."
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. Daniel jumped in. "Jack, I think what Teal'c means is maybe we should get some fruits and vegetables or something."
Realization dawned on Jack's face. Carter would probably go for that. He quickly checked the contents of the cart. "Well the vegetable soup should cover one part of that." He spied some wrapped fruit baskets on an end display. "What about one of those?" He asked, pointing them out. Teal'c walked over and picked one up, it contained a variety of oranges, apples, banana's, grapes, and even some pears.
"I believe this will be most pleasing to Major Carter." Teal'c said with conviction as he placed the fruit basket in the cart on top of the soda.
Jack grinned. He thought they'd done rather well, and imagined Carter would be pleasantly surprised. She probably didn't think any of them knew how to shop. They'd even got a few good deals thanks to Teal'c grabbing that circular. Who would have thought that the Jaffa was a born bargain hunter? Especially considering that Teal'c had only been to a large grocery store a few times in his life, mostly on excursions to help Jack get supplies for one of his weekend barbeques.
Looking back down at his list, and Jack's smile faded. One item left. He toyed with the idea of saying they should get back quickly and he should start getting their purchases checked out and let Daniel and Teal'c go and get the last item. He sighed. It wouldn't work, even though Daniel and Teal'c had both been married before, they hadn't exactly ever needed to run out in the middle of the night for necessities. A position Jack had been in several times for Sara.
Making up his mind quickly, Jack gave his best military order voice, "Lets all of us go get Carter's thing and get out of here." He said, emphasizing the "all of us." They would all go, together. Jack felt that the "no one gets left behind" rule applied to the current circumstances.
Daniel and Teal'c, who had finally been told exactly what it was that Major Carter wanted, looked like they wanted to protest, but Jack had already headed off to the "Health and Beauty" section of the store, pushing the cart. They had no choice but to follow.
Jack rounded the corner into the aisle helpfully labeled "Feminine Hygiene Products" and stopped. He felt Teal'c and Daniel stop just behind him. The three men stood, and stared in awe at the wide array of products on both sides of the short aisle. Not even Jack was prepared for the staggering array of various items. The few times Sara had needed him to get such things for her (on threat of loss of limb or life) he'd just run to the corner store to grab it. There had only been a small selection of one or two brands and a few different types of each. But these... there were dozens of different things, all different shapes and sizes and colors. And there were so many pink and pastel colors. Jack found it disturbing, not to mention incredibly uncomfortable. Daniel and Teal'c looked ready to bolt, and Daniel was a brilliant shade of pink not unlike some of the packages on display.
Before he lost courage, Jack scowled at the item on the list, written in Carter's distinctive scrawl, committing the details to memory before he passed the list to Daniel and Teal'c. "If we all look for what Carter wants we'll find it faster." He said as way of explanation.
Soon all three men were scanning the shelves. Daniel's blush had faded, but he still looked afraid to touch anything. Teal'c was staring at the shelves in undisguised amazement. "O'Neill, I do not understand why such a staggering array of products are available for such a natural task."
Jack wasn't sure how to answer that one. He looked to Daniel for help, but Daniel's look of embarrassment had melted into one of open curiosity. "I never knew there were so many different things out there for... uh... "Daniel faltered, and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "You know." He finished, blurting the rest out, and looked away, blushing again.
Teal'c had ventured forward and picked up a blue plastic wrapped package. "O'Neill," He said, "Why do they have wings?" Teal'c was staring at the package as if it would take flight.
"Teal'c put that down. Lets just find the thing Carter wants, and get back, I don't like leaving her alone for too long." Jack glared at the array of products. "I swear, women made all of these things just to confuse men."
The men returned to scanning the shelves, Daniel or Teal'c occasionally voicing a comment over products that offered a "light feminine scent" whatever that was, or announced that they had "superior absorbency" or "leak protection for the active woman." Jack just scowled.
After several minutes of searching, the three had still not found the product that Carter had written down. Jack checked the list again, verifying they were all looking for the right thing. He couldn't believe that with all the things there to choose from, the one they wanted wouldn't be there. Jack voiced his opinion to the others, who agreed.
Teal'c spoke up. "I believe we should ask for assistance O'Neill." Before O'Neill could decide if that was such a good idea, Teal'c had headed off. Jack shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and glanced at Daniel, who seemed to be making an effort not to look at anything for too long, as if worried someone would enter the aisle at any moment and wonder what he found so fascinating. Fortunately, for SG-1, there didn't seem to be anyone in need of "feminine hygiene products" on this slow weekday afternoon. Heck, even the name seemed as if it intended to warn men to stay away.
Jack didn't have long to speculate, Teal'c returned quickly with a young man with freckles and dark hair. His smock proclaimed him to be a store employee. The gawky kid, who looked to be in his late teens, looked rather intimidated by the large Jaffa, even though Teal'c was dressed in jeans, boots, a button down shirt and a large Stetson covering his gold tattoo. Or maybe it was the clothes that intimidated the kid. The kid's eyes widened as he took in Daniel and the glaring colonel. Jack tried to make his expression behave as showed the list to the kid and pointed out the item they were looking for.
The kid swallowed nervously as he looked at the item in question, than at the three men. Teal'c had his arms crossed, Daniel was hovering nearby, and Jack's glare had returned. "Uh... " The kid said. "Yes sirs. We uh carry that, it should be right over..." The kid trailed off as his eyes came to rest on the empty space on the shelf where the product should have been. The kid gulped. "Ummm I'm sorry sirs, but I just checked for that this morning and we are all out, just sold the last one." He backed away, keeping his eye on the large black man and the older looking man who looked a lot like a battle hardened soldier. He edged past the younger man with glasses that seemed to be the least threatening of the three. Even still the man looked strong enough to beat him to a pulp, but at least he wasn't glaring like the older man was. "I n-need to uh get back to uh w-work." The kid stammered as he turned tail and all but ran from the aisle.
Daniel and Teal'c turned to Jack, clearly wondering what to do next. "Perhaps we should try another establishment O'Neill." Said Teal'c.
Jack quickly made up his mind, and shook his head. "No, lets just each of us pick one of these things. We'll tell Carter they were out of the one she wanted. They can't be all that different, and if we each pick out one, she can have a choice." Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement. Sounded like a good plan to them, and they were all eager to leave the aisle before someone saw them and get back to Sam to make sure she was still ok.
As the only one who had had a wife on earth, and the most experienced with earth products for that "time of the month" Jack decided on a product with a different brand that seemed to match the same description to what Carter had written down. Daniel settled for one that was the same brand, but a slightly larger size. He thought bigger would be better in this case, than to get something too small.
Teal'c seemed to be thinking along those same lines. He had a pretty fair idea as to what happened in a woman's body once a month, although the details were sketchy. His wife had never been very forthcoming with details, and during that time it was best not to cross one's wife with questions she felt were unnecessary. There were some things that were best left as being labeled mysteries, the secrets known only to women.
Even though Teal'c didn't know much about what went on exactly, from what he did know he surmised that it was incredibly messy. He had spied something on the opposite side of the aisle that he felt would by much more suitable than the small absorbent pads displayed in neat packages. Teal'c picked up his selection, and showed it to the others. "I believe this product offers superior absorption and leak protection." He said proudly.
Daniel and Jack stared at Teal'c. They looked at each other, and back to Teal'c. Jack's mouth worked to say something, but no words came out. How to explain to the Jaffa that Carter did not need Depends? He nudged Daniel. "You tell him.' Daniel nudged Jack back. "No, Jack, you tell him." Jack glared at Daniel, than sighed. "Fine. I'll tell him."
Teal'c looked at O'Neill expectantly. He did not understand why there was a problem with his selection. "Uh, Teal'c, buddy. Carter won't want those. You see, uh... well, they are for another problem actually..." Jack trailed off. "Look, just pick something else ok?" He nudged Daniel who firmly took the package out of Teal'c's hands and placed it back on the shelf. Jack motioned to the correct items, and Teal'c nodded, still confused, but he would trust that Jack and Daniel knew what they were talking about. Teal'c decided to go with one of the products that had wings. He was still curious about them, but neither Daniel nor O'Neill seemed inclined to answer his question. Perhaps Major Carter would appreciate the wings, being in the air force. Maybe she would be able to explain why the wings were needed. He filed his question away for later.
"Okay kids, we ready to go?" Jack threw his selection into the cart, and watched as Daniel and Teal'c placed theirs in as well, Daniel practically dropping his as if it burned him.
Without further ado, the threesome headed to the checkout. The clerk had seemed mildly curious as to why the three men were buying so many different maxi pads, but wisely chose not to mention it. In short order, the three men had paid for their purchases and loaded the supplies into the back of Jack's truck.