Yeah, I know. I should be updating my LOTR story, so I can start Year Two. It's coming along! Chapter eight is already done for Visitor. Don't ask why. But this has been written for awhile and I needed to get it up.
Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter. But I would really like to own Sirius and Remus.
Warnings: OOTP spoilers, kind of fluffy, kind of not. Slash, meaning male/male relationship. If you don't like leave. But I don't want anyone saying that had no warning, cause that's what this is here for.
I'll Never Leave You Again
The war continued to be fought. Battles fought anywhere a member of the Order and a Death Eater met. Muggle families attacked left and right. Wizards and witches slaughtered. It was so much worse than the first war against Voldermort. And Remus Lupin didn't know how much more he could take.
It had been over a year since the war started. At the end of Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, the top of the list of Remus's worse days was when it had started. Sirius's death day too. He had a lot of worse days in his life, but that really was in the top five, practically number one.
It was now the summer of Harry's seventh year. He wasn't seventeen yet, just a month to go. Remus had tried so hard to make up for the lose of Sirius. But it was hard. Remus didn't feel anything anymore. No happiness, just an aching loneliness. The first war had been easier to fight. Sirius was always there to make Remus feel better at the end of the long day. Sirius would make love to him then hold him close and whisper to him soft words of love and promises that they would always be together, no worries. Remus had always felt safe in those strong arms.
And then Lily and James died and Sirius was blamed for it all. How could Remus believe that? He still felt the guilt of it all. Believing Sirius, his lover, could kill two of their best-friends. It all made sense now, now that they knew Peter had done it. But it was too late. Sirius was gone. And he had been gone for months now.
"Will I ever get over it?" Remus wondered out loud to himself. He was lying in the bed he and Sirius had shared at Grimmauld Place, staring at the ceiling. It had taken long hardworking months, but the place looked nice now. It was even cheerier than when Sirius had been a child. Remus rubbed his tired and irritated eyes. "Have to sleep." He mumbled. He hadn't slept a decent night's rest since Sirius's falling through the veil and he hadn't gotten any for three weeks. But Harry was coming in a week and Remus had to keep up face for him. Even though he couldn't replace Sirius, Remus gave comfort to the still upset teenager.
Suddenly, just as Remus started to fade off to sleep, someone banged on the door.
"What?" he groaned, irritated as hell. The banging continued. "Alright! I'm bloody coming." He dragged himself out of bed and opened the door to find a shocked looking Bill Weasley.
"Sorry to have to disturb you Remus, but...well..." he left off, looking for words. Remus raised an eyebrow. "Just get dressed okay? We need to show you something." Remus sighed and nodded. He closed the door and grabbed a frayed black robe. He threw on a pair of his old jeans and a t-shirt that belonged to Sirius. The shirt still had Remus's mate's distinct scent on it. He threw the robe over, put his shoes on, grabbed his wand and opened the door to see Charlie, Tonks, Bill and Mad-Eye Moody standing there.
"What's going on?" he questioned, stifling a yawn.
"Follow us and we'll explain." Moody said. Remus nodded and followed them to the kitchen where Molly was setting down coffee around the table. Bill motioned for Remus to sit. After he sat the others sat (minus Molly who shuffled out of the room) and Moody cleared his throat.
"There's been another attack. The ministry, but the Order members there were able to kill most of the Death Eaters." Remus almost dropped the coffee he had been drinking.
"Is everyone okay?"
"For the most part yeah." Charlie said, sipping his coffee.
"We're kinda in shock of what we found there." Tonks finished.
"Why wasn't I informed earlier?" Remus demanded angrily.
"Because of what the Order members found. We had to clarify that it was true and then we were going to come get you." Bill explained.
"What did you find?" Remus looked around at them and only Moody would meet his gaze.
"We're about to show ya." They stood and Remus followed. They apperated to the Ministry, then Remus followed them to where the archway was. Remus's heart began to sink as he realized that they were headed to the resting place of his lover.
"Prepare yourself Remus." Bill said. Remus gulped and pressed on, his feet turning to lead. Everywhere there were Death Eaters bodies and a few members of the ministry. They reached the room with the arc and Remus saw Arthur and Percy surrounding something.
"Remus." Arthur greeted him. Percy nodded towards him.
"We'll be off to fetch Harry now." Charlie said. Moody, Tonks, Charlie and Bill disappeared.
"Why are they getting Harry earlier than planned?" He asked.
"Because of this." Arthur and Percy stepped away from what they were hiding and Remus almost fainted. There, lying on the ground, was Sirius Black.
"Sirius!" Remus chocked out. He fell to the ground and cuddled his lover's head. He buried his face in the dark brown hair as tears started to stream down his pale cheeks.
"We also found this." Percy said, placing his hand on Remus's shoulder, causing him to turn his head. He looked to the right and in a pool of blood, lay Peter Pettigrew's broken body.
"Pettigrew." Remus snarled. He attempted to jump up and tear the broken body to pieces. But Percy and Arthur held him down.
"No Remus. The minister is coming down here to see that Peter was alive all these years and that Sirius didn't do it." Arthur reasoned with him. Remus just stared ahead until he remembered Sirius in his lap. He looked down and Sirius's handsome face brought so much back. Remus started to cry again.
"What the hell is going on?" Fudge yelled. Remus looked up to see the minister staring at Peter's and then Sirius's bodies.
"Good Merlin, Pettigrew was alive?" He stood there, his eyes going from Remus and Sirius to Pettigrew. "Sirius was innocent?"
"I believe that you owe Mr. Lupin what he wants." Arthur said. Fudge looked in to the werewolf's amber gold eyes.
"What would that be?"
"For Sirius's name to be cleared." He chocked out.
"As good as done, as soon as everything is sorted out." Remus nodded. "I'll need to, correct the mistake."
"Am I allowed to take Sirius's body?" He asked. Arthur nodded.
"I was going to Remus. But I'll let you." Remus stood up and levitated Sirius's body. He made a stretcher and placed him on it, before appearating home. He set down the body and ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"Mum! Harry's here..." Ron shouted, coming down the stairs, followed by Harry. They stopped and stared at Remus and Sirius's body. Harry stumbled down the stairs to land in front of where the stretcher lay. In what seemed an instant the entire Order was in the Hall of Grimmauld Place, watching as Harry and Remus cried in each other's arms.
It had been in the news the next day and the whole wizarding world went insane that Sirius had been innocent for sixteen years. It was now two weeks later and Sirius was going to be given a proper funeral. It was a beautiful day and Harry and Remus stood by the newly dug grave with Sirius's casket above. Harry and Remus hadn't said a word to anyone but each other since the thirtieth. Together they had planned the funeral, what Sirius would wear, the casket, the flowers, everything.
They watched with heavy hearts as the casket was lowered into the ground. Sobs from the Weasley women, Tonks and Hermione. No other sound could be heard. Even the birds had stopped in mourning. After the funeral everyone came and hugged Remus and Harry. Harry had left with the Weasleys to go back to Grimmauld Place, but Remus stayed behind.
He stood beside Sirius's grave, even when it started to rain. He let the rain soak him, hoping he'd get some kind of disease and die. 'That wouldn't be fair to Harry!' His brain nagged at him. 'He needs you.' It wasn't for a few minutes until he realized that the voice in his head was being spoken. He looked in Dumbledore's blue eyes.
"I can't help it. I miss him. I need him."
"Harry needs you. You're the only thing he has left about his parents. The last Marauder." Remus winced at the words.
"You're right. I'll come." He followed Dumbledore without looking back.
Remus continued to shoot curses and hexes at anyone who wasn't on his side. The cold numbed him, but he didn't feel anything. He only felt anger at what had happened. Percy had been killed, no slaughtered, less than a week before. Remus would never forget the sight of the mattered body. They found out before they even found Sirius's body that Percy was actually spying for Dumbledore, not on the Ministry's side as previously thought. The Weasley family fought harder than anyone, besides Harry. Harry was now seventeen and the strongest Remus had ever seen him. He looked mean and angry at the world, ready to kill anything that got in his way. And at the moment he fought with Voldermort.
The Order was trying not to watch, and to keep the Death Eaters at bay so they couldn't help their master.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" was yelled. Everyone stopped to see Voldermort fall to the bottom of the large hill he and Harry were fighting on. Harry still stood and he looked around bewildered before pointing his wand at the Death Eaters. They dropped their wands in defeat as the Order sent up shouts of joy. The war with Voldermort was finally over. December 08, 1997, one of the greatest days in Wizard History as it was soon to be called in the papers.
"And yet it is still far from over." Remus whispered. They still had to round up the Death Eaters, count the dead, identify the dead etc. And Remus only wanted to see Sirius.
"The hearing will be soon." Came a voice from behind. Remus turned to see the minister standing behind him. It had been two days since the end of the war and Voldermort's body had been disabled, cursed and hexed several more times, anything the wizards could think of to make sure he never came back again. And it seemed to have worked. Now the Order searched the bodies. Remus had found the three Malfoy's, all but Draco dead. He was now in Azkaban, along with several other students Remus had taught. Luckily none of the younger Order members had been killed. But so many were dead.
"What hearing?" Remus asked, wiping his hair out of his eyes.
"Sirius's. I've had it planned for the thirtieth." Remus grinned and actually HUGGED the minister.
"Thank you. It really means a lot to me." He nodded before leaving. Remus grinned and whooped.
"What's so happy?" Harry asked. He had been in a moody stupor since he killed Voldermort. Everyone considered him more of a hero then ever and poor Harry was going crazy because of it.
"Sirius's hearing is in twenty days." Harry smiled for the first time in weeks and they hugged each other, finally feeling happiness, knowing Sirius was going to get what he wanted.
The thirtieth didn't nearly come quick enough. When it did, Harry and Remus went (with the rest of the Order) to the Ministry of Magic and awaited for Sirius's hearing.
It went quickly, everyone interviewed for their stories before Fudge declared Sirius's name cleared and Pettigrew's name found guilty.
A huge celebration followed at the Order's Headquarters. Remus stayed outside almost the whole time though, not caring about the party, only that his lover's wish came true. He looked up and saw the North Star.
"I wish you were here Padfoot. My North Star." He sighed as the star seemed to get brighter as if Sirius was telling him that he knew what had happened and he was happy.
"Remus?" Harry asked, coming to stand beside the older man. He followed his gaze and smiled. "Sirius knows what's going on doesn't he?"
"Yes Harry he does. And he's happy. That's only what we can hope." They smiled at each other before Harry forced Remus inside. Remus looked back at the star that continued to wink.
Remus walked through the snow towards Sirius's newly covered grave. He knelt down and rubbed the snow off the top and out of the engraving. He had memorized the words:
Sirius Orion Black.
June 12, 1960-May 29, 1995
Lover and godfather. Most beloved friend.
R.I.P.
Remus smiled sadly at the elegantly engraved words.
"Hi Padfoot." He chocked out. He was going to start crying before he even got to say it. "It's happened Sirius. You're free. Your wish, our wish came true. Your name's been cleared." Tears had started to freely stream down his cheeks, numb with the cold.
"Oh, baby I miss you. Harry misses you. We all miss you. It's lonely without you and knowing the fact that I'm the last Marauder." He paused and touched Sirius's name. "I always thought I'd go first. Before James and Lily, before you. Remember when we talked about it? You got so mad for even mentioning it. 'We'll die together Moony. Old and in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms.' And we kissed and everything was okay. It's not okay now. I need you. Werewolves can't live long without their mates. (pause) Harry understands.
"He wants to find a permanent cure for werewolves, not just a monthly potion. In thanks for everything he had said. He's been reading everything he can get his hands on about werewolves." Remus sniffed and wiped his nose. "He's so much like Lily, Sirius. He has her heart, but James's looks and disregard for the rules. He's a perfect balance of both of them. It helps knowing he's around. He understands everything about our relationship, how it grew and grew. About his parents. I've told him everything I can remember about Hogwarts. I let him see my pensieve." Remus stopped to regain his breath. He had been sobbing freely for the past few minutes. "But no one can replace you. No one. No one has your smile, your scent, your humor, nothing." He stopped and stared at the grave wishing Sirius would pop up and go "Surprise Moony! It's just a joke Prongs and I conceived." But Remus knew that wasn't the case.
"I really, really need you right now. I love you so much. I don't even think I realized how much I love you. You never know how much you love someone until you lose them. I never thought I could love you more than I knew I did. But I do." He wiped his tears away, most frozen to his cheeks. His almost entire gray head of hair was cold and clung to his wet cheeks.
"I really, really miss you my love. My only love." He stood up, his legs numb, but Remus didn't feel anything. He placed a white and a red rose on top of Sirius's gravestone. Sirius would always get Remus white roses and Remus would get Sirius red roses on their anniversary. He kissed his fingertips and touched them to Sirius's name. He continued to cry as he walked to the car he had borrowed from the Weasley's.
He sat in and closed the door, before blasting the heat. The tears came freer than ever. He wiped them away so his vision wasn't blurred. He drove to Headquarters where he shuffled up the stairs, ignoring everyone's looks of worry. He light a fire in the fireplace, took his shoes and socks off and hung them to dry. He took the rest of his wet clothes off and climbed into the large and warm bed with nothing but the comforter for warmth.
"Remus you okay?" Came a soft knock and Harry's voice. He had moved full time into Grimmauld Place with Remus and the Weasleys had moved in soon after that. They had plenty of money now (since Arthur had been made minister because Fudge had quit and given Arthur the job) but they wanted to stay with Harry and Remus.
"Yeah, I'm fine Harry." He heard Harry's footsteps fall away, before he let the tears fall again. He grabbed Sirius's pillow and cuddled it, imagining that it was Sirius. It worked sometimes because it smelled like Sirius. But tonight it didn't. Remus couldn't let the pillow go though. He needed his arms around something. Or arms around him, like Sirius use to do. He would always hold him at night.
"Oh, I wish you'd hold me Padfoot." He whispered. Then as if his prayers were answered, he felt a familiar presence and smelled Sirius's scent of vanilla. He knew that it wasn't the pillow, especially when he felt arms wrap around his stomach and a warm breathe on his neck. He snuggled backwards towards the heat and ran into a solid body. Remus started slightly.
"Don't worry Remus. I'll never leave you." A voice whispered. "I'll be here every night to make sure you get to sleep." Sirius's voice comforted Remus's aching soul.
"Thank you Sirius." Remus whispered as the arms tightened their hold around Remus's stomach. Remus knew that it was Sirius, it had to be. The very feel of Sirius's presence soothed Remus's aching soul.
"Your welcome baby. Now get to sleep. It's early and I can stay all night." Remus soon drifted off to sleep as Sirius's spirit looked at Remus. He kissed the back of his neck and whispered softly "I'll never leave you again. Never. Just like I promised. I won't leave, not until you go with me."
Don't forget to review please. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter. But I would really like to own Sirius and Remus.
Warnings: OOTP spoilers, kind of fluffy, kind of not. Slash, meaning male/male relationship. If you don't like leave. But I don't want anyone saying that had no warning, cause that's what this is here for.
I'll Never Leave You Again
The war continued to be fought. Battles fought anywhere a member of the Order and a Death Eater met. Muggle families attacked left and right. Wizards and witches slaughtered. It was so much worse than the first war against Voldermort. And Remus Lupin didn't know how much more he could take.
It had been over a year since the war started. At the end of Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, the top of the list of Remus's worse days was when it had started. Sirius's death day too. He had a lot of worse days in his life, but that really was in the top five, practically number one.
It was now the summer of Harry's seventh year. He wasn't seventeen yet, just a month to go. Remus had tried so hard to make up for the lose of Sirius. But it was hard. Remus didn't feel anything anymore. No happiness, just an aching loneliness. The first war had been easier to fight. Sirius was always there to make Remus feel better at the end of the long day. Sirius would make love to him then hold him close and whisper to him soft words of love and promises that they would always be together, no worries. Remus had always felt safe in those strong arms.
And then Lily and James died and Sirius was blamed for it all. How could Remus believe that? He still felt the guilt of it all. Believing Sirius, his lover, could kill two of their best-friends. It all made sense now, now that they knew Peter had done it. But it was too late. Sirius was gone. And he had been gone for months now.
"Will I ever get over it?" Remus wondered out loud to himself. He was lying in the bed he and Sirius had shared at Grimmauld Place, staring at the ceiling. It had taken long hardworking months, but the place looked nice now. It was even cheerier than when Sirius had been a child. Remus rubbed his tired and irritated eyes. "Have to sleep." He mumbled. He hadn't slept a decent night's rest since Sirius's falling through the veil and he hadn't gotten any for three weeks. But Harry was coming in a week and Remus had to keep up face for him. Even though he couldn't replace Sirius, Remus gave comfort to the still upset teenager.
Suddenly, just as Remus started to fade off to sleep, someone banged on the door.
"What?" he groaned, irritated as hell. The banging continued. "Alright! I'm bloody coming." He dragged himself out of bed and opened the door to find a shocked looking Bill Weasley.
"Sorry to have to disturb you Remus, but...well..." he left off, looking for words. Remus raised an eyebrow. "Just get dressed okay? We need to show you something." Remus sighed and nodded. He closed the door and grabbed a frayed black robe. He threw on a pair of his old jeans and a t-shirt that belonged to Sirius. The shirt still had Remus's mate's distinct scent on it. He threw the robe over, put his shoes on, grabbed his wand and opened the door to see Charlie, Tonks, Bill and Mad-Eye Moody standing there.
"What's going on?" he questioned, stifling a yawn.
"Follow us and we'll explain." Moody said. Remus nodded and followed them to the kitchen where Molly was setting down coffee around the table. Bill motioned for Remus to sit. After he sat the others sat (minus Molly who shuffled out of the room) and Moody cleared his throat.
"There's been another attack. The ministry, but the Order members there were able to kill most of the Death Eaters." Remus almost dropped the coffee he had been drinking.
"Is everyone okay?"
"For the most part yeah." Charlie said, sipping his coffee.
"We're kinda in shock of what we found there." Tonks finished.
"Why wasn't I informed earlier?" Remus demanded angrily.
"Because of what the Order members found. We had to clarify that it was true and then we were going to come get you." Bill explained.
"What did you find?" Remus looked around at them and only Moody would meet his gaze.
"We're about to show ya." They stood and Remus followed. They apperated to the Ministry, then Remus followed them to where the archway was. Remus's heart began to sink as he realized that they were headed to the resting place of his lover.
"Prepare yourself Remus." Bill said. Remus gulped and pressed on, his feet turning to lead. Everywhere there were Death Eaters bodies and a few members of the ministry. They reached the room with the arc and Remus saw Arthur and Percy surrounding something.
"Remus." Arthur greeted him. Percy nodded towards him.
"We'll be off to fetch Harry now." Charlie said. Moody, Tonks, Charlie and Bill disappeared.
"Why are they getting Harry earlier than planned?" He asked.
"Because of this." Arthur and Percy stepped away from what they were hiding and Remus almost fainted. There, lying on the ground, was Sirius Black.
"Sirius!" Remus chocked out. He fell to the ground and cuddled his lover's head. He buried his face in the dark brown hair as tears started to stream down his pale cheeks.
"We also found this." Percy said, placing his hand on Remus's shoulder, causing him to turn his head. He looked to the right and in a pool of blood, lay Peter Pettigrew's broken body.
"Pettigrew." Remus snarled. He attempted to jump up and tear the broken body to pieces. But Percy and Arthur held him down.
"No Remus. The minister is coming down here to see that Peter was alive all these years and that Sirius didn't do it." Arthur reasoned with him. Remus just stared ahead until he remembered Sirius in his lap. He looked down and Sirius's handsome face brought so much back. Remus started to cry again.
"What the hell is going on?" Fudge yelled. Remus looked up to see the minister staring at Peter's and then Sirius's bodies.
"Good Merlin, Pettigrew was alive?" He stood there, his eyes going from Remus and Sirius to Pettigrew. "Sirius was innocent?"
"I believe that you owe Mr. Lupin what he wants." Arthur said. Fudge looked in to the werewolf's amber gold eyes.
"What would that be?"
"For Sirius's name to be cleared." He chocked out.
"As good as done, as soon as everything is sorted out." Remus nodded. "I'll need to, correct the mistake."
"Am I allowed to take Sirius's body?" He asked. Arthur nodded.
"I was going to Remus. But I'll let you." Remus stood up and levitated Sirius's body. He made a stretcher and placed him on it, before appearating home. He set down the body and ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"Mum! Harry's here..." Ron shouted, coming down the stairs, followed by Harry. They stopped and stared at Remus and Sirius's body. Harry stumbled down the stairs to land in front of where the stretcher lay. In what seemed an instant the entire Order was in the Hall of Grimmauld Place, watching as Harry and Remus cried in each other's arms.
It had been in the news the next day and the whole wizarding world went insane that Sirius had been innocent for sixteen years. It was now two weeks later and Sirius was going to be given a proper funeral. It was a beautiful day and Harry and Remus stood by the newly dug grave with Sirius's casket above. Harry and Remus hadn't said a word to anyone but each other since the thirtieth. Together they had planned the funeral, what Sirius would wear, the casket, the flowers, everything.
They watched with heavy hearts as the casket was lowered into the ground. Sobs from the Weasley women, Tonks and Hermione. No other sound could be heard. Even the birds had stopped in mourning. After the funeral everyone came and hugged Remus and Harry. Harry had left with the Weasleys to go back to Grimmauld Place, but Remus stayed behind.
He stood beside Sirius's grave, even when it started to rain. He let the rain soak him, hoping he'd get some kind of disease and die. 'That wouldn't be fair to Harry!' His brain nagged at him. 'He needs you.' It wasn't for a few minutes until he realized that the voice in his head was being spoken. He looked in Dumbledore's blue eyes.
"I can't help it. I miss him. I need him."
"Harry needs you. You're the only thing he has left about his parents. The last Marauder." Remus winced at the words.
"You're right. I'll come." He followed Dumbledore without looking back.
Remus continued to shoot curses and hexes at anyone who wasn't on his side. The cold numbed him, but he didn't feel anything. He only felt anger at what had happened. Percy had been killed, no slaughtered, less than a week before. Remus would never forget the sight of the mattered body. They found out before they even found Sirius's body that Percy was actually spying for Dumbledore, not on the Ministry's side as previously thought. The Weasley family fought harder than anyone, besides Harry. Harry was now seventeen and the strongest Remus had ever seen him. He looked mean and angry at the world, ready to kill anything that got in his way. And at the moment he fought with Voldermort.
The Order was trying not to watch, and to keep the Death Eaters at bay so they couldn't help their master.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" was yelled. Everyone stopped to see Voldermort fall to the bottom of the large hill he and Harry were fighting on. Harry still stood and he looked around bewildered before pointing his wand at the Death Eaters. They dropped their wands in defeat as the Order sent up shouts of joy. The war with Voldermort was finally over. December 08, 1997, one of the greatest days in Wizard History as it was soon to be called in the papers.
"And yet it is still far from over." Remus whispered. They still had to round up the Death Eaters, count the dead, identify the dead etc. And Remus only wanted to see Sirius.
"The hearing will be soon." Came a voice from behind. Remus turned to see the minister standing behind him. It had been two days since the end of the war and Voldermort's body had been disabled, cursed and hexed several more times, anything the wizards could think of to make sure he never came back again. And it seemed to have worked. Now the Order searched the bodies. Remus had found the three Malfoy's, all but Draco dead. He was now in Azkaban, along with several other students Remus had taught. Luckily none of the younger Order members had been killed. But so many were dead.
"What hearing?" Remus asked, wiping his hair out of his eyes.
"Sirius's. I've had it planned for the thirtieth." Remus grinned and actually HUGGED the minister.
"Thank you. It really means a lot to me." He nodded before leaving. Remus grinned and whooped.
"What's so happy?" Harry asked. He had been in a moody stupor since he killed Voldermort. Everyone considered him more of a hero then ever and poor Harry was going crazy because of it.
"Sirius's hearing is in twenty days." Harry smiled for the first time in weeks and they hugged each other, finally feeling happiness, knowing Sirius was going to get what he wanted.
The thirtieth didn't nearly come quick enough. When it did, Harry and Remus went (with the rest of the Order) to the Ministry of Magic and awaited for Sirius's hearing.
It went quickly, everyone interviewed for their stories before Fudge declared Sirius's name cleared and Pettigrew's name found guilty.
A huge celebration followed at the Order's Headquarters. Remus stayed outside almost the whole time though, not caring about the party, only that his lover's wish came true. He looked up and saw the North Star.
"I wish you were here Padfoot. My North Star." He sighed as the star seemed to get brighter as if Sirius was telling him that he knew what had happened and he was happy.
"Remus?" Harry asked, coming to stand beside the older man. He followed his gaze and smiled. "Sirius knows what's going on doesn't he?"
"Yes Harry he does. And he's happy. That's only what we can hope." They smiled at each other before Harry forced Remus inside. Remus looked back at the star that continued to wink.
Remus walked through the snow towards Sirius's newly covered grave. He knelt down and rubbed the snow off the top and out of the engraving. He had memorized the words:
Sirius Orion Black.
June 12, 1960-May 29, 1995
Lover and godfather. Most beloved friend.
R.I.P.
Remus smiled sadly at the elegantly engraved words.
"Hi Padfoot." He chocked out. He was going to start crying before he even got to say it. "It's happened Sirius. You're free. Your wish, our wish came true. Your name's been cleared." Tears had started to freely stream down his cheeks, numb with the cold.
"Oh, baby I miss you. Harry misses you. We all miss you. It's lonely without you and knowing the fact that I'm the last Marauder." He paused and touched Sirius's name. "I always thought I'd go first. Before James and Lily, before you. Remember when we talked about it? You got so mad for even mentioning it. 'We'll die together Moony. Old and in our bed, wrapped in each other's arms.' And we kissed and everything was okay. It's not okay now. I need you. Werewolves can't live long without their mates. (pause) Harry understands.
"He wants to find a permanent cure for werewolves, not just a monthly potion. In thanks for everything he had said. He's been reading everything he can get his hands on about werewolves." Remus sniffed and wiped his nose. "He's so much like Lily, Sirius. He has her heart, but James's looks and disregard for the rules. He's a perfect balance of both of them. It helps knowing he's around. He understands everything about our relationship, how it grew and grew. About his parents. I've told him everything I can remember about Hogwarts. I let him see my pensieve." Remus stopped to regain his breath. He had been sobbing freely for the past few minutes. "But no one can replace you. No one. No one has your smile, your scent, your humor, nothing." He stopped and stared at the grave wishing Sirius would pop up and go "Surprise Moony! It's just a joke Prongs and I conceived." But Remus knew that wasn't the case.
"I really, really need you right now. I love you so much. I don't even think I realized how much I love you. You never know how much you love someone until you lose them. I never thought I could love you more than I knew I did. But I do." He wiped his tears away, most frozen to his cheeks. His almost entire gray head of hair was cold and clung to his wet cheeks.
"I really, really miss you my love. My only love." He stood up, his legs numb, but Remus didn't feel anything. He placed a white and a red rose on top of Sirius's gravestone. Sirius would always get Remus white roses and Remus would get Sirius red roses on their anniversary. He kissed his fingertips and touched them to Sirius's name. He continued to cry as he walked to the car he had borrowed from the Weasley's.
He sat in and closed the door, before blasting the heat. The tears came freer than ever. He wiped them away so his vision wasn't blurred. He drove to Headquarters where he shuffled up the stairs, ignoring everyone's looks of worry. He light a fire in the fireplace, took his shoes and socks off and hung them to dry. He took the rest of his wet clothes off and climbed into the large and warm bed with nothing but the comforter for warmth.
"Remus you okay?" Came a soft knock and Harry's voice. He had moved full time into Grimmauld Place with Remus and the Weasleys had moved in soon after that. They had plenty of money now (since Arthur had been made minister because Fudge had quit and given Arthur the job) but they wanted to stay with Harry and Remus.
"Yeah, I'm fine Harry." He heard Harry's footsteps fall away, before he let the tears fall again. He grabbed Sirius's pillow and cuddled it, imagining that it was Sirius. It worked sometimes because it smelled like Sirius. But tonight it didn't. Remus couldn't let the pillow go though. He needed his arms around something. Or arms around him, like Sirius use to do. He would always hold him at night.
"Oh, I wish you'd hold me Padfoot." He whispered. Then as if his prayers were answered, he felt a familiar presence and smelled Sirius's scent of vanilla. He knew that it wasn't the pillow, especially when he felt arms wrap around his stomach and a warm breathe on his neck. He snuggled backwards towards the heat and ran into a solid body. Remus started slightly.
"Don't worry Remus. I'll never leave you." A voice whispered. "I'll be here every night to make sure you get to sleep." Sirius's voice comforted Remus's aching soul.
"Thank you Sirius." Remus whispered as the arms tightened their hold around Remus's stomach. Remus knew that it was Sirius, it had to be. The very feel of Sirius's presence soothed Remus's aching soul.
"Your welcome baby. Now get to sleep. It's early and I can stay all night." Remus soon drifted off to sleep as Sirius's spirit looked at Remus. He kissed the back of his neck and whispered softly "I'll never leave you again. Never. Just like I promised. I won't leave, not until you go with me."
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