Chapter 4- Premonition
When Lily could take the cold laughter no longer, she woke with a gasp. James was in bed beside her, sitting up with wand in hand. "James, why didn't you sleep?"
"I can't sleep anymore," he replied. "Your dreams worry me, Lily. It's happened before, that you've had premonitory dreams. After everything that has happened, I can't help but think these dreams are, as well."
Lily pushed herself up. She let James slip an arm around her. "What did you dream this time, Flower?"
Lily smiled reminiscently at the old nickname, given to her by Remus, of all people. "We were here, at home…he came, and he…he…" She could not continue. She had just seen her husband die, and she could not be asked to relive it.
"They're getting worse, aren't they," James said. He was not even asking her. He knew.
She nodded sadly. "I fear for us, James. I fear for Harry. Mostly for Harry. I don't want our son to die."
"Perhaps he will not have to. You have not seen that far yet, have you?"
Lily shook her head. "No, it has not gone that far. Only…" She turned to gaze into James's hazel eyes.
"It was me," he said hoarsely. "You saw me die, didn't you?"
Tears gathered in her eyes as she affirmed the question. He wrapped his arms around her comfortingly, and she succumbed to him wholly, as she rarely did. He did not say anything, but only held her as she cried. Lily was angry with herself for not being able to stop her tears, and this only made her cry more.
"Lily, it is all right to be afraid. This is Voldemort we're talking about. We have seen firsthand what he and his Death Eaters have done to wizard and Muggle alike. Who would not be afraid, knowing he wanted to do the same to them?"
"I feel like we're letting him win. We're giving him what he wants, somehow, by going into hiding. We're letting fear control us. Isn't that what Voldemort has always wanted?"
"No, Lily. We didn't come here out of fear, but out of concern. We are trying to protect Harry, and ourselves. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that."
Lily smiled. "When did you get so smart, James?"
"It's a gift," he said, a trace of his old arrogance creeping into his voice. "But I will never be as smart as you, Lily." He kissed the top of her head.
"Don't feel bad. Not everyone can be that smart."
"Now you sound like me, back then."
Lily laughed. "I know, I was doing it to mock you."
"That isn't very nice."
"I love you, James."
"I love you more, Lily."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."
"Want to bet?"
"Not really. Do you know how much money I've lost to you and Sirius?"
"One hundred fifty-eight galleons, eighty-one sickles, thirty-six knuts."
"What did you do, pool them and go buy something like- say, Sirius's motorcycle?"
"Actually, no. I used my share to buy you that huge rock you wear on your finger."
Lily raised her hand, inspecting her engagement ring. It was white gold, because she thought it was prettier. It had a diamond in the middle, and an emerald on either side. She had been breathless when he had given it to her. She let herself be lost in the memory of James's proposal.
"Sirius used *his* half to buy his motorcycle."
"He would," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "But if he had a girlfriend, he probably would have bought her a ring as well."
"I don't know. Our Padsy doesn't like to be tied down."
"I think you underestimate him, James. Or have you not seen the looks he gives the two of us when we act especially mushy?"
"What, you mean those looks of disgust?"
"You need an expression-reading course. He is not really disgusted. He's jealous."
"Are you kidding? Sirius, jealous of commitment? That just doesn't fit his character."
"Well, you know, I never would have thought *you* would choose commitment," Lily told him honestly. "But now look at you."
James did as she asked. "Yeah, look at me. I'm hot stuff."
Laughing, Lily poked his ribs affectionately. "Yes, you are. Why else would I have married you? Because, you know, I would never go for someone because of their *personality*."
"No, you wouldn't." James kissed her again. "I still can't sleep, can you? No, I didn't think so. Let's go check on Harry."
Their son was sleeping soundly. "Well, at least someone around her can get a proper night's rest," Lily commented.
She saw James fall, and she ran as quickly as she could- but she did not escape. In her frantic state, she had run up the stairs, into Harry's room. She clung to the child in her arms, her last connection to the man she loved, who now lay on the floor in the kitchen.
"Surprise," a taunting voice said, grating on her ears. She set Harry behind her, turning to face the wand that was her doom…
She saw herself, on the ground in the nursery. She was facedown, lifeless and limp. She turned away from her body, only to see the most evil man in the world advancing on her son…
Lily sprang out of bed suddenly. She did not know why this vision was different, only that it was. Something did not feel right. She turned to find James asleep for once. Lily shook him vigorously. "James! Wake up!"
With a start, he was sitting up in bed. "What is it? Are you all right? Is Harry all right?"
"We have to get out of here!" Lily told him, her eyes wide with fright.
"Why, what is going on?" As he asked, he threw the sheet covering him aside, and reached for a sweater to throw on over his t-shirt.
"He's coming!" Lily said. Having dressed thoroughly, she ran to Harry's room, and she picked him up out of his crib. He was awakened by the sudden movement, but like she expected for some reason, he did not cry. He was as silent as a child could be.
James led her down the stairs. They combined their power to place a sealing charm on the outside of the house, added to the one Sirius, Peter, and Dumbledore had placed there. "That should hold him for a while." There was a note of hope in his voice, but it was clear to Lily that he did not believe it.
"James, if we do…"
"Lily, please."
"No, I have to say this. If we…I want you to know, you have made me as happy as I could expect to be. I love you more than I can say."
"I love you, too. Lily, you make my life worthwhile. That is why I don't want to lose it. But if I have to give it up to protect you and Harry, I will."
"Oh, James," Lily whispered. She wanted to cry, but tears would not come. She was too filled with emotions, and her mind was numb to them for the moment. She could only feel them in her heart, which seemed to be threatening to explode from her chest at any moment.
Knowing that this would be the end, Lily said a silent goodbye to her family, and to her friends that she loved.
"How did he find out? He must have got to Pettigrew. Poor Peter."
Another emotion flashed through Lily, and she knew it as betrayal. Her lips curled hatefully. "No, Peter got to him. He's betrayed us."
James glanced at her in surprise, but he did not question her. If she was sure, he was as well.
"Goodbye, James," Lily whispered. He squeezed her hand tightly. Then the house shook, nearly throwing them from their feet. Voldemort had come.
End Chapter 4
Please review, please. Please please please. It would be very nice. And if you haven't yet, read No Longer An Enemy. Oh, look, a shameless plug!!
When Lily could take the cold laughter no longer, she woke with a gasp. James was in bed beside her, sitting up with wand in hand. "James, why didn't you sleep?"
"I can't sleep anymore," he replied. "Your dreams worry me, Lily. It's happened before, that you've had premonitory dreams. After everything that has happened, I can't help but think these dreams are, as well."
Lily pushed herself up. She let James slip an arm around her. "What did you dream this time, Flower?"
Lily smiled reminiscently at the old nickname, given to her by Remus, of all people. "We were here, at home…he came, and he…he…" She could not continue. She had just seen her husband die, and she could not be asked to relive it.
"They're getting worse, aren't they," James said. He was not even asking her. He knew.
She nodded sadly. "I fear for us, James. I fear for Harry. Mostly for Harry. I don't want our son to die."
"Perhaps he will not have to. You have not seen that far yet, have you?"
Lily shook her head. "No, it has not gone that far. Only…" She turned to gaze into James's hazel eyes.
"It was me," he said hoarsely. "You saw me die, didn't you?"
Tears gathered in her eyes as she affirmed the question. He wrapped his arms around her comfortingly, and she succumbed to him wholly, as she rarely did. He did not say anything, but only held her as she cried. Lily was angry with herself for not being able to stop her tears, and this only made her cry more.
"Lily, it is all right to be afraid. This is Voldemort we're talking about. We have seen firsthand what he and his Death Eaters have done to wizard and Muggle alike. Who would not be afraid, knowing he wanted to do the same to them?"
"I feel like we're letting him win. We're giving him what he wants, somehow, by going into hiding. We're letting fear control us. Isn't that what Voldemort has always wanted?"
"No, Lily. We didn't come here out of fear, but out of concern. We are trying to protect Harry, and ourselves. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that."
Lily smiled. "When did you get so smart, James?"
"It's a gift," he said, a trace of his old arrogance creeping into his voice. "But I will never be as smart as you, Lily." He kissed the top of her head.
"Don't feel bad. Not everyone can be that smart."
"Now you sound like me, back then."
Lily laughed. "I know, I was doing it to mock you."
"That isn't very nice."
"I love you, James."
"I love you more, Lily."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"No you don't."
"Want to bet?"
"Not really. Do you know how much money I've lost to you and Sirius?"
"One hundred fifty-eight galleons, eighty-one sickles, thirty-six knuts."
"What did you do, pool them and go buy something like- say, Sirius's motorcycle?"
"Actually, no. I used my share to buy you that huge rock you wear on your finger."
Lily raised her hand, inspecting her engagement ring. It was white gold, because she thought it was prettier. It had a diamond in the middle, and an emerald on either side. She had been breathless when he had given it to her. She let herself be lost in the memory of James's proposal.
"Sirius used *his* half to buy his motorcycle."
"He would," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "But if he had a girlfriend, he probably would have bought her a ring as well."
"I don't know. Our Padsy doesn't like to be tied down."
"I think you underestimate him, James. Or have you not seen the looks he gives the two of us when we act especially mushy?"
"What, you mean those looks of disgust?"
"You need an expression-reading course. He is not really disgusted. He's jealous."
"Are you kidding? Sirius, jealous of commitment? That just doesn't fit his character."
"Well, you know, I never would have thought *you* would choose commitment," Lily told him honestly. "But now look at you."
James did as she asked. "Yeah, look at me. I'm hot stuff."
Laughing, Lily poked his ribs affectionately. "Yes, you are. Why else would I have married you? Because, you know, I would never go for someone because of their *personality*."
"No, you wouldn't." James kissed her again. "I still can't sleep, can you? No, I didn't think so. Let's go check on Harry."
Their son was sleeping soundly. "Well, at least someone around her can get a proper night's rest," Lily commented.
She saw James fall, and she ran as quickly as she could- but she did not escape. In her frantic state, she had run up the stairs, into Harry's room. She clung to the child in her arms, her last connection to the man she loved, who now lay on the floor in the kitchen.
"Surprise," a taunting voice said, grating on her ears. She set Harry behind her, turning to face the wand that was her doom…
She saw herself, on the ground in the nursery. She was facedown, lifeless and limp. She turned away from her body, only to see the most evil man in the world advancing on her son…
Lily sprang out of bed suddenly. She did not know why this vision was different, only that it was. Something did not feel right. She turned to find James asleep for once. Lily shook him vigorously. "James! Wake up!"
With a start, he was sitting up in bed. "What is it? Are you all right? Is Harry all right?"
"We have to get out of here!" Lily told him, her eyes wide with fright.
"Why, what is going on?" As he asked, he threw the sheet covering him aside, and reached for a sweater to throw on over his t-shirt.
"He's coming!" Lily said. Having dressed thoroughly, she ran to Harry's room, and she picked him up out of his crib. He was awakened by the sudden movement, but like she expected for some reason, he did not cry. He was as silent as a child could be.
James led her down the stairs. They combined their power to place a sealing charm on the outside of the house, added to the one Sirius, Peter, and Dumbledore had placed there. "That should hold him for a while." There was a note of hope in his voice, but it was clear to Lily that he did not believe it.
"James, if we do…"
"Lily, please."
"No, I have to say this. If we…I want you to know, you have made me as happy as I could expect to be. I love you more than I can say."
"I love you, too. Lily, you make my life worthwhile. That is why I don't want to lose it. But if I have to give it up to protect you and Harry, I will."
"Oh, James," Lily whispered. She wanted to cry, but tears would not come. She was too filled with emotions, and her mind was numb to them for the moment. She could only feel them in her heart, which seemed to be threatening to explode from her chest at any moment.
Knowing that this would be the end, Lily said a silent goodbye to her family, and to her friends that she loved.
"How did he find out? He must have got to Pettigrew. Poor Peter."
Another emotion flashed through Lily, and she knew it as betrayal. Her lips curled hatefully. "No, Peter got to him. He's betrayed us."
James glanced at her in surprise, but he did not question her. If she was sure, he was as well.
"Goodbye, James," Lily whispered. He squeezed her hand tightly. Then the house shook, nearly throwing them from their feet. Voldemort had come.
End Chapter 4
Please review, please. Please please please. It would be very nice. And if you haven't yet, read No Longer An Enemy. Oh, look, a shameless plug!!