Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this story, I do however own this
story. I do not believe I should get in trouble for this story, especially
after all the crap Disney has done to stories like these. So therefore, if
you hate my story then go jack off to the sexual innuendoes in the Disney
films. ( Have a nice day.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs living at home with their mother. Mommy pig was tired of her sons living with her. The youngest was a drunk, the middle was a druggie, and the oldest was a neat freak, you might think that's good ...but its not. It is really really bad (I know from experience). OK so the pigs are kicked out by dear old mommy pig, and she gave each of her three sons $300 to get a place to live and set up a life for themselves.
This may not seem like much but in a forest it's not to bad a bad amount of money to get set up in some temporary housing. So they all went to the main Real-estate company. The youngest pig only wanted to pay 100 a month, the middle 150, and the oldest 200. The Realtor hooks the youngest up with a nice straw house, which after an hour smelled like beer, and other things that we will not mention. The middle pig got a nice house built from twigs, and well its ended up smelling like dope. The oldest got a nice cozy little brick house, which he kept meticulously clean.
As the months went by, the landlord, Mr. Wolff, realized he wasn't getting any money from the straw house, or the stick house. Mr. wolf decided to stop by the straw house and pick up the rent in person, and it went a little like this: (I have dialogue!!!)
Mr. Wolff- Excuse me Mr. pig, but I haven't received this months rent, or last months rent for that matter either. So if you would be so kind as to give me the money it would be most appreciated.
Pig- you Ain't seein a cent either, you call this an estabolishment? This is a breeding ground for mice and disease.
Mr. Wolff- Sir you don't have to take that kind of tone with me.
Pig- oh I don't do I, you gonna start tellin me what to do? This is part of the oppressive government, tryin to get the poor pig down. I know what you call us; swine, dirty mongrels, you jus try to rub my face in dirt. I know your plans! Now if you'll let me finish my beer, I'll leave.
Mr. Wolff- ......................? Oh no you don't I'll evict your ass first, and I'm still intend on getting my money!
Pig- That's what you think. (The Pig is already in process of running to his middle brother's house, by way of back door.)
Mr. Wolff- damn, I hate running. (So Mr. Wolff decides to go to the next house. When he gets to the next house all that is there is a pile of ash, a bong, and a few lights outside the door. As it happens, in the youngest and middle pigs stupor, they decided it would be funny to burn the house down. Mr. Wolff follows their trail of piss and blunts to the door of the oldest pig. From inside he hears the younger pigs being yelled at by the anal retentive brother, and decides they are being punished enough at the moment. He begins to walk away.) I'll just send them a bill and sue them in the morning, right now I need a good blow...pop. (He proceeds to head toward the next house he owns, the playboy bunny house.)
...and so the story ends with one angry brother, two surly brothers, and who knows what else.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs living at home with their mother. Mommy pig was tired of her sons living with her. The youngest was a drunk, the middle was a druggie, and the oldest was a neat freak, you might think that's good ...but its not. It is really really bad (I know from experience). OK so the pigs are kicked out by dear old mommy pig, and she gave each of her three sons $300 to get a place to live and set up a life for themselves.
This may not seem like much but in a forest it's not to bad a bad amount of money to get set up in some temporary housing. So they all went to the main Real-estate company. The youngest pig only wanted to pay 100 a month, the middle 150, and the oldest 200. The Realtor hooks the youngest up with a nice straw house, which after an hour smelled like beer, and other things that we will not mention. The middle pig got a nice house built from twigs, and well its ended up smelling like dope. The oldest got a nice cozy little brick house, which he kept meticulously clean.
As the months went by, the landlord, Mr. Wolff, realized he wasn't getting any money from the straw house, or the stick house. Mr. wolf decided to stop by the straw house and pick up the rent in person, and it went a little like this: (I have dialogue!!!)
Mr. Wolff- Excuse me Mr. pig, but I haven't received this months rent, or last months rent for that matter either. So if you would be so kind as to give me the money it would be most appreciated.
Pig- you Ain't seein a cent either, you call this an estabolishment? This is a breeding ground for mice and disease.
Mr. Wolff- Sir you don't have to take that kind of tone with me.
Pig- oh I don't do I, you gonna start tellin me what to do? This is part of the oppressive government, tryin to get the poor pig down. I know what you call us; swine, dirty mongrels, you jus try to rub my face in dirt. I know your plans! Now if you'll let me finish my beer, I'll leave.
Mr. Wolff- ......................? Oh no you don't I'll evict your ass first, and I'm still intend on getting my money!
Pig- That's what you think. (The Pig is already in process of running to his middle brother's house, by way of back door.)
Mr. Wolff- damn, I hate running. (So Mr. Wolff decides to go to the next house. When he gets to the next house all that is there is a pile of ash, a bong, and a few lights outside the door. As it happens, in the youngest and middle pigs stupor, they decided it would be funny to burn the house down. Mr. Wolff follows their trail of piss and blunts to the door of the oldest pig. From inside he hears the younger pigs being yelled at by the anal retentive brother, and decides they are being punished enough at the moment. He begins to walk away.) I'll just send them a bill and sue them in the morning, right now I need a good blow...pop. (He proceeds to head toward the next house he owns, the playboy bunny house.)
...and so the story ends with one angry brother, two surly brothers, and who knows what else.