"I'm sorry Owen. I'm so sorry. It's my fault. If only I could have talked you out of doing this crazy thing. If only I could have gotten out there and possibly helped them help you. If only. My life is full of if only's. This time it took someone else's parent away instead of my own. I am so sorry Owen. I'm so sorry that I'm the one that's ultimately causing your family all this pain and heartache. I am so sorry I took away your parents' baby boy."
"Lulu, baby, it isn't your fault."
Shane wiped away the tears that I didn't even know I had been crying.
"Baby, no matter what you, Martha, or anyone else would have said or did, he would have done that stunt anyways."
"No, I could have given him the money he needed to retire. Or at least most of it that way he could have afforded to have either gotten a loan for the rest or taken a pay cut for not doing the stunt."
"Lulu, my brother wouldn't have taken your money. He was too proud."
"I could have made him see! I don't want those babies to go through what I had to go through! Why didn't I try harder? I couldn't I shut up about my problems with Scott long enough to get him to see doing this was stupid and he didn't need to do it. Why?"
"Tallulah, can I tell you something? Last night, I was up all night long thinking the same things myself. What more could I have done to change his mind? I felt him in that room with me. He told me that everything was going to be okay. Life would go on. He wouldn't leave until he made sure I told you that he doesn't blame you. He knows that you would have given anything in this world to take his place. He knew how things were going to turn out. He knows that now you are with someone who is going to take care of you and be there for you like you have needed your entire life. It may not be who or what you may have planned on, but don't run away from it."
With that, I burst into hysterics. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only did he know how things were going to go, but he knew that Scott wouldn't be the one who ended up stealing my heart. The next thing I knew, I felt arms wrap around me. Pulling me tight against him, Shane began rocking me back and forth. He knew that I had finally reached my breaking point. Those walls had come crashing down big time. He was going to be there to pick up the pieces. He was right. I was afraid of the pain. I didn't think I could handle it. So what do I do? Run.
"Lulu! Wait!"
Bret, no. Let her go. She needs to go be by herself for a while. She won't go too far. When you called yesterday, I knew I was needed up here. These last two days, have been the only times I have ever seen her crying. She doesn't cry. It is just her nature. When it all finally caught up with her, she couldn't handle it. She doesn't even know I was there last night. She doesn't even know that I didn't get a hotel room because I lay beside her holding her all night while she cried. I don't even think she realizes that she cried in her sleep last night. She just needs time to adjust. This is new to her. What she thought her life was, and what it has turned out to be these past few weeks, are two complete different things."
Shane was right. Today was part of a reality check that had been kicking me in the ass lately. I would have never thought 2 and a half weeks ago that I would saying goodbye to a good friend, while my undying love for another would forever be put on hold but I already had someone else there to pick up where he left off. All Shane was asking for was a chance. I couldn't deny him that. He was probably worried out of his mind. I decided to head back towards Bret's house. Once I arrived, I was in for a surprise.
"Lulu. Where are Dad and Shane?"
"They are still at the cemetery sweetheart. Why, what's wrong?"
"Well, I thought that maybe Shane would be bringing you back since he stayed here last night in order to carry you this morning. Plus Dad had to carry Aunt Martha home."
"Wait a minute Jade. Shane stayed here in this house last night?"
"Yea. He stayed in the other guest room. Actually that's where his luggage is. Late last night, when Dad and I were still up, we saw him go towards your room. I didn't see him again until at the service."
"He must have shown up after Scott dropped me off and left. I was too out of it last night then to care who was coming and going. Thanks Jade. If they come in, you haven't seen me. My cell phone is going to be turned off so you won't hear the ring if they try and call, but I will be here in the house."
"Okay"
An hour later.
"Jade, we're home."
"Hi daddy. Did you get Aunt Martha home okay?"
"Yea sweetie. She's home with your cousins."
"Where's Lulu? I know she went with you guys after the services."
"She hasn't called here or anything hasn't she?"
"No daddy. Why?"
"Well, she went for a walk, and no one has heard from her."
"I hope she's okay. I'll let you know if she calls."
"Thanks sweetie. I think Shane and I are going to try and get a nap for a little bit since we've both been going basically all day long. Your brothers and sister still over at the main house with Aunt Georgia?"
"Yes, she said that they could stay and she would bring them home. Dad, in all honesty, today was hard enough without having to worry about going back over to the main house."
"I understand sweetie. If you need me, you know where I am."
As Bret headed upstairs towards his room, Shane had decided to take advantage of the pool in the Hart House. Little did he know that someone else was already in it. She had heard the boys come in the house. She had also heard Bret mention both of them taking a nap, so she thought she had some time before a probable confrontation with either man. When Shane entered the pool area, he saw a sight that took his breath away.