Okay I didn't realize how long this chapter got... on my word (cut out from the rest of the story) its 6 pages. Xx; Hope that makes up for the delay. I got over my writers block, for this at least -.-, and I really hope that you like it. Im feeling a tad bit insecure about my abilities right now but its probably just me and I'll feel better tomorrow. –shrug-

I want to give a BIG huge uberglomp to my friend who's agreed to be beta for me and the recipient to many a whiney IM with my crap. There's no way that I could thank you enough S. –snog- And then thank you all of my faithful reviewers! –UBERSNOG- I lurv you all and...omg, belive me, if you weren't there the story would have slipped away and I wouldn't have finished it. You guys rock. –tear- ...-glomp!-

Okay, that looks like about it, little A/N at the end as well that might explain a little about my twisted view on Kurama's mind. (a very very small, miniscule, barely there AN on how I think his mind works; it would take to long to go into the details of how I see his mind working :3

Disclaimer: -.- Come on, if I owned them would I have to go and mop my floors right now?! .........that's a 'no-I-don't-own-them' for all of you law firms out there.

Warning: it's the third chapter, if you don't know that theres boy boy love in here by now theres something wrong... :3

'Please Hiei...stay with me tonight...at least let me the chance to explain!'

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

He silently prayed to himself as he swung open the door, all too expectant to find his demon friend gone and the rain pouring in through the open widow to his bedroom as it had been so many times before when he had done something that Hiei needed time to think about.

But...it wasn't.

There was Hiei, perched on the window sill; arm braced over one bent knee, the other kept straight out, his crimson gaze intent on peeling the finish off of Kurama's dark cherry wood work framing.

"Hiei..." He breathed out, sighing as his stomach took up its regular residence.

The fire youkai remained silent, his face impassive and his body rigid, staring at that one spot on the wall. Not even a brusque HN was heard as the emotional sigh was released from the fox.

Closing the door behind him with a soft click he took in the appearance of his room.

Well nothing seems to be charred...and it looks like everything is in the same place that I left it. Well, except for the clothes, he noticed taking in the rumpled state of his empty bed and the wet pants on the floor before looking over to the brooding hi-youkai on his windowsill. They were for the most part a good fit, Kurama congratulated himself, with the exception of the shirt; with all of its baggy-ness it was hanging off of one of his shoulders and was clearly not Hiei's.

Hmm, so youkai, you're not mad enough to leave but you don't seem to want to look at me... what are you trying to say?

With an expertly hidden twist of his fingers Kurama locked the door to his bedroom as he pushed off of the door, sauntering over to the half koorime on the other side of his room with a slightly guilty look on his face.

"Was that okay Hiei?"

The fox asked, his question double sided and gauging. He could answer this question in one of two ways and it would point Kurama into the direction of where his mind lay.

"Their fine fox."

Hiei grunted out, voice monotone and unerring; but Kurama didn't miss the quick tensing of the hi-youkai's shoulders or the swift flash of garnet jewels glaring at him as he tried to cover it up with the curt answer.

Chewing on his bottom lip the kitsune fought for the best course of action to take at observing the uncomfortable air coming from the fire youkai, finally settling on simply placing his hand on Hiei's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over the skin and smiling down at the demon when he started violently.

As soon as the youkai's mouth opened to say something the fox's hand was gone as he turned to his bed, picking up the discarded pants that were soaking his floor and bundling them up in his arms.

"Good, I thought that they would fit you."

Kurama kept his face away from Hiei who was now staring at him intently, gaze too jumbled to decipher one fixed emotion from the fire demon though surprise was evident in his rigid form, and slowly fingered one of the belts before tugging it out of the loop as silence settled over the two of them.

Hiei stared at the fox, his eyes following the fox's movements as he pulled the belts off of his pants with a slow and steady movement. For some reason his chest tightened again, unbidden to its master's wishes to stay still. There was no reason for this behavior from him, no raison d'être for the molten fire that started to pulse through him as the fox languidly pulled the first white belt from his soaking black pants, dropping it onto his bed and letting his libidinous digits work on rolling and twisting the second belts clasp loose.

The silence seemed to stretch for an eternity as those fox fingers prowled their way over his second belt, feeling it as if it were the last thing he could ever remember before being sent to death and the little Jaganshi noticed his heartbeat speed up involuntarily but made quick to disguise it as Kurama brought his gaze up.

He was about halfway done with pulling that belt off and didn't stop fondling it as his leaf green eyes caught the blood droplets across the room. Nothing was said, just the two of them together in the room, Kurama multitasking with the belts while Hiei was multitasking with a different matter entirely.

All at once thunder clapped as if right in the room with them, sending car alarms and the like off all down the street, sending an equally startled fire demon off of the window ledge; breaking the shared moment as he sought for a shadow to delve into.

The only time he ever heard those damn things was when he was about to get run over by one of them.

"Don't worry Hiei, its just the car alarms that got set off, the neighbors will turn them off in a second." Kurama sighed, trying to sound reassuring while noticing that the moment had been shattered into a million pieces and he resigned himself to pulling out the second belt without an audience.

"Hn." Hiei growled out, taking up a seat in a corner that was next to the window, one knee bent up and the other folded in front of him, katana held securely in one arm. "I don't want a ningen to see me, especially on your windowsill."

He glared at the fox, feeling humility rise slightly in his stomach at letting the Kurama see him jump up like that but ebb as he directed his attentions on the fox. Really it was quite true, if any ningen was out, even given this weather and saw a strange figure in the window of their sweet 'Minamino Shuuichi's' room there would be trouble for the fox given either the story's he'd have to make up or the explaining he'd have to do.

"Hiei...?" There was an edge to Kuramas voice as he lowered the hi-youkai's pants, his eyes shining in a confused and almost hurt manner. "I cant understand you..." He sighed plopping down on the edge of the bed, letting the pants drop, un-cared for to the floor with a 'shwap' before making eye contact again. "Why come here, why come to ME if you don't want to be seen with me?"

Crap. He'd done it again... Talking always got him places he NEVER wanted to be, hadn't he learned this already!? Kurama had interpreted his statement the wrong way.

Its not you that I don't want to be around fox...its them, I don't want them to see me, any of them. I don't want the world to see me, I would have thought you'd understand...

And I don't want the world to see me...

The fire youkai opened his mouth to set the kitsune right but stopped, finding his voice gone, words of no use to him now that he wanted to use them. He knew that the fox wanted something from him, he knew that he had hurt the fox, but...the fox just didn't know. He didn't know how his life had been, he didn't know how he had gotten the way he was today.

"I'm a soldier fox." It was simple but true, his life had been one never ending war of pain and hurt, distrust and disloyalty, faith never lain in anyone other than himself; the fox couldn't expect him to change so easily...

"If anyone ever had any chance in understanding me I would have thought it you Kurama." He rumbled out, sighing softly at retrieving his voice. "You know the makai, you know how it can be... but when it's me, the forbidden child..." the hi-youkai's eyes clouded slightly as his tone on his title darkened. Shaking his head slightly he dismissed it. "It doesn't matter..."

Kurama looked up from his hands and fixed Hiei with a confused look. "Hiei...what are you saying?"

The koorime's jaw clenched. Did he really need to be told?

"I don't want anybody else to see me; its not you that I shy from kitsune..."

"Hiei...your in the ningenkai now, its not the sa- -"

It was almost comical, the way that the koorime could anticipate every thing that leapt out of the fox's mouth; the way that he would jump to the conclusion that Hiei was talking about himself and his reputation, so he cut him off with a sharp glare.

"It is the same. You know, have you ever listened to yourself talk fox? You contradict everything that comes out of that pretty mouth."

His words were harsh and Kurama nearly lost his sense of balance when he heard the fire demon slip up and add in the obvious admiration of his features. His head spun slightly and he had to fight to bring himself back to the voice that was still rambling away. Normally he couldn't get Hiei into a decent conversation and now, even though the atmosphere was rather castigating, he wanted to be able to take in every word that was said. Bad and good.

"You say that no one here knows nor cares who I am, and yet they all either treat me like a child else like a disease. How is this different from makai?" Not expecting nor waiting for an answer he continued on, anger laced in his words. "And you; the infamous youko thief of the makai, the one who strikes fear through the hearts of all treasure holders in the other worlds, the one who tells the Jaganshi of the ningenkai's hospitality and understanding cant even show himself for what he truly is."

Now Hiei was standing, his anger fading slightly as he took meaningful strides over to where the fox sat and stood just before him, not knowing what to do but still knowing that something had to be done. Taking one of Kurama's side locks he let it slide across his hand and back down to its master's chest, something closely related to derision in his voice now as his eyes locked with never ending green ones.

"How can you tell me that the ningenkai is so much different when you cant show who you really are? How can you ask me to believe that they would understand seeing me with you, you as you really are? I told you youko, its not you that I don't want to be around it's the ningenkai that doesn't want me to be around you. I don't care what you say...they'll never understand. They cant."

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

He had overstepped his limitations and he knew it. Hell he had violated his own very carefully constructed rules, tortuous paths being blown away like his kokuryuhaa being let loose in the center of them, let alone what he had done to the fox's border's.

'I really thought that you might understand...'

Stepping away from being so close to the fox he tried to move, one side of him screaming to get out of there before the fox lashed out at his unruly scathing of his life style and the other not wanting to let go of the forelock of hair it had possession of at the moment. Decisions decisions...

A hand came up to grab the koorimes slender wrist that was holding the fox's tress. He chanced a look back at the fox, expecting to see anger, maybe even hate, it was the way everyone had always looked upon him and would be no different if it came from another he had come to care about. Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought sadly back to the time the fox had said he'd always care for him.

'Hn, fox. Have you another fine contradiction for me?' But he was startled to find that there was no hate there, not even the slightest trace of anger in the kitsune's eyes; the only emotion that was there for him to see was...something he hadn't ever seen before. There were no words to describe the look he was now lavished in.

"Hiei..."

Was it worth it? Everything that was running through him right now was telling him to do stupid things, things that would get him in trouble with so many people, things that would be so good and yet so bad...things that youko would have done in an instant, no thinking required.

He wanted to prove to the koorime that not everything in his life had been so horrible, he had learned many things were frowned upon in the ningenkai that were not held in such high disregards in the makai but he had also learned that many things could be loved in a way he had not been able to know until he had come to the ningenkai...

Do it...just do it. He wouldn't have stopped if he didn't want you like you want him. Do it, there will never be another chance like this one!

But he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Yes, very vivid images of the things that his wild pre-life legacy would have done danced before his eyes like a private movie just for himself, starring the little koorime in front of him; but this was different, the 'little koorime' wasn't something that could be just surprised with sudden shows of affection.

It would demoralize the simple yet complex bond that they shared; it would shatter to pieces everything that he had worked so hard to achieve with the child like hell fire in front of him, it would probably break everything that they ever had.

When everything is meant to be broken...

But there was that infinitesimal, little, irrational flaw of light in the waves of pessimism and depression that rolled over him like the never ending river Styx telling him otherwise. The tiny light composed of the last little bit of him left with enough passion to hope.

The passion to hope that no matter what, he could throw caution to the wind and in fact have the one he desired the most.

The hunger wasn't just a want; it was a need; gnawing on his insides and spreading around his body with a force he hadn't felt in a very very long time; limbs and insides being consumed by the wild fire that was Hiei.

To want someone, someone who was there and real, someone whom he could touch, who he was touching right now. It was almost intoxicating to feel the thrumming beat of the fire youkai's pulse through his warm skin. This wasn't a dream; this was real, for both of them; hearts beating to a different rhythm but souls in sync with the chaotic jumble that was their emotions.

With a small quirk of his lips the fox pulled on his wrist, just so slightly, but with the part ice apparitions eyes drowning in those never ending emerald pallets embracing him from their spot below, there was nothing he could do short of follow the unspoken commands given to him by the kitsune.

He felt suspended, third worldly, as if he were trapped inside twin jagan's from the fox before him as he took one small step after another with the fox's hand as his guide.

There was no room to think, there was nothing other than those alluring leaven eyes leading him to where ever they deemed fit.

The thundering gales battering the world just outside of the window faded out, the thrumming of the electricity thinned to nothing as the two stood together, locked by a possession of the others. Nothing would pull them apart, but something brought them together.

Experienced lips met forbidden lips in a cautious sweep as the fox lifted his mouth up, brushing sensitive flesh against sensitive flesh in a cautious embrace.

There was nothing else to catch him as he fell from his precautions and into the fox's warm lips. They moved in a dance against his mouth, as alluring as those eyes but sensual in a way nothing else ever could be. Moving in slow nips with just his agile lips, the pace was silently set for both, each moving in deliberate strokes against the other.

The hand that held the lock of hair moved up into the flaming red mane, grabbing at the silken strands as the hand holding his wrist wrapped around his waist, trailing seductively around his hips and resting at his lower back, pulling him closer still to the fox demons chest.

There was no time for air except for when the other would withdraw, only to come back in and capture the other with his mouth again. Heart beats thrummed, blood starting to rush with the sensual stimulation their heated mouth's created.

Heat, hot, it surrounded them, churning in and around them, driving, encouraging, demanding more. Hands snaked up the koorime's side, pushing his shirt up as the warm pads of the fox's fingers indulged on the feast of skin exposed to them.

Rubies shot open immediately and a sharp gasp was echoed at the unfamiliar touch, jump starting his brain to what exactly was happening. Jerking away from the touch the hi-youkai's eyes were wide, untangling himself from the half lidded fox and scrambling backwards.

Just as soon as the touch was lost the red heads eyes widened as well, finding the recipient sprawled on his floor unceremoniously, crimson droplets wide and disbelieving.

No...this couldn't be happening. What have I just...done?

He could feel the blush sneaking across his features despite his pride and the more important situation rising at hand; all too aware of his partially clothed body and the irregular breathing of the other.

Deafening thunder slammed through the room; lighting everything up in the same moment, a surreal monotone of black and white. The only thing he could see were those two orbs boring straight into his mind; filled with confusion, apprehension, fear, and... panic. Each running over the koorime's eyes, only a chaser for a different, deeper emotion before the lightning faded and with it the fire demon himself.

"No! Hiei!"

Reaching a hand out and catapulting himself off of the bed instinctively to grab the little demon; the cry escaping his lips before he could even consider how his mother might react to the outburst in the middle of the night.

He was on his feet before his mind could register it and standing beside the open window of his bedroom faster than even he thought he could get there. Water poured in in sheets and waves, getting the youko spirit soaked by the rain pouring in through it and not caring in the slightest as it did so, eyes trying to fix on something, anything, out in that tempest...to no avail.

I just want you to know who I am
AN: Yes I know in the last scene I said a lot of things on Kurama's seeming infatuation with being able to actually hold someone that he –wanted- –hint hint - and being able to feel the pulse of someone that he wanted. Well my personal insights on that are that he had several other lovers as Youko, which is fine and dandy with him and... erm... 'little youko', but I see his only other two POSSIBLE relationships being with Yomi and Kuronue, not so much Yomi because of his whole... 'Im going to kill you cause you took my sight thing' but whatever. –shrug- and I love the Kuronue Youko pairing cause it just sounds SO believable. Believe what you like but I will continue believing this. Anyways, I used "actually wanted" because we all know that Kurama has stalkers and that they all –want- him but he (in my mind, and really on the show as well) doesn't want anything to do with them. But he kinda lives in the past, where his youko loves/flings/lifestyle was and where as many a night had gone to Kuronue and Yomi and others in the makai he could never actually HOLD them because either they were dead or they were untouchable. So that's where the whole –need/want/hold- thing came in incase any of you got confused somewhere around there. ;3

Oh and dont worry, my beta thought that I might end it there but Im not going to, there's still more if you want to read, it just needs to be written. Review? Please? For a cookie? -waggles cookie- ;3