Chapter 8 – Friends and Foes
If someone had told James Potter that Severus Snape would help him win Lily Evans' heart, he would have laughed himself into a hemorrhage.
"How was the hospital visit, Lily?" James said, watching her approach and then sit next to him at the Great Hall breakfast table.
"Grim," she sighed. "Very grim. He looks awful and I think he still wants to die."
James shrugged. "Well, if they can't fix him, no one can," he said. "It's amazing that he even woke up at all."
"He said something about having a lot of operations. His throat is still burned, I think, because he sounds entirely different."
"Too bad," James said. "So many rotten things have happened over the last month."
"And some good has come of it, too," said Lily, patting his hand. "I found out that James Potter has a heart of gold."
James was too thrilled and flabbergasted to respond, so he simply crammed his mouth full of waffle.
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"I understand that you still want to die, Severus," said Sibelius Hammer.
Severus' mental blast shields went up.
"Who told you that?"
"I overheard you telling your visitor last night that you wished someone would slit your wrists for you."
"YOU EAVESDROPPED? I THOUGHT THERE WAS A SILENCING CHARM OVER US!"
"There was – but I still heard you."
Severus grumbled something exceedingly nasty about psychic counselors.
"Let's talk about why you feel that way, Severus."
"Why?"
"It's important for your recovery."
"Why?"
"Personally, I want to see you recover and make it in life, Sev. You have great strength inside you. How you've managed to survive this long is astounding."
Severus shrugged and looked at the floor.
"Why do you want to die so badly?"
The boy lifted his chin, a sneer on his face. "Oh, let's see. My father – well, you know all about that. I wish I hadn't remembered. Thanks for reminding me."
"We are going to have to talk about that, Severus."
"Not today we're not. Let's continue," Sev began counting with his fingers. "My mother ignores me and never wanted to have me in the first place. The students at Hogwarts hate me. The majority of the faculty at Hogwarts hates me. I'm skinny and ugly. The girls laugh at me when I ask them out. My best friend was taken away from me and since then my life has gone right in the toilet. I have terrible dreams. I'm afraid of everything. People scare me. Hands scare me. Noises scare me. Oh, I almost forgot -- the Marauders – four boys from Gryffindor House – have been out to get me since I first set foot on school grounds. Shall I go on?"
"I understand that one of them came here to apologize the day after you were admitted, but it didn't turn out to be an apology at all."
"That's SillyAss Black. The bastard. And the other three, of course."
"Why do you hate them, Sev?"
"Do you want another list?"
"I'd be happy to listen to whatever you have to say."
"Sirius Black attached my hair to his broomstick and then rode low over the moors, dragging me in the mud. They tied me up and threatened to put a bonfire under me; they actually stacked the wood and lit the match! They knocked me down in the wintertime and stuffed my robes full of snow, lots of times. They did the same thing to my friend Martis and she almost died of exposure."
"Completely unacceptable behavior. Go on, Sev."
Severus blinked at him. Did the counselor agree with him about the great and glorious heroes of Gryffindor?
"They've turned my food into guts, they've exploded my projects, burned my homework, and hexed my clothes. They've beaten me up more times than I can count. They've blamed lab accidents on me. They've thrown me in the lake. They've set me up with teachers – passing notes and turning in parchments that were supposedly from me but weren't."
"What would you say was the worst thing they did to you?"
Severus ducked his head low and sighed. "They flipped me upside down once. I only have one uniform and I had just been wearing my gown all buttoned up because it was my washing day. When I was turned upside down, everybody could see my underwear. It was awful. I had been put in a binding spell so I couldn't even reach up and try to cover myself. I just shut my eyes and prayed. And then – one of them, James Potter, said he was going to take off my underpants and I prayed that he wouldn't – but he did. When he released me from the hex, I ran into the Forbidden Forest and the Headmaster and some other people had to come fetch me."
"I don't blame you, Sev. I probably would have done the same thing, just to get away."
Sev blinked again. "Really?"
Sibelius nodded. "Really. Your survival instincts are good. Don't you realize that you really want to live, deep down inside?"
Sev dropped his head.
"Severus – think hard and see if you can't tell me the one reason why you don't want to live any more. What people have done to you certainly impact that, but what is it that breaks your heart?"
The Slytherin boy looked up at him, and then dropped his head again. It didn't take long for the tears to fall.
"I – don't matter. I'm – worthless. People – don't like me, let alone love me. And – that – breaks – my – heart!"
The child cried as his counselor held him.
"Just so you know," Healer Hammer said, "You do matter. You are a valuable and worthwhile person, right now, without any proof."
Sev sighed. "That sounds like something Healer LaChance told me."
"It's true."
"I don't understand it, though. I don't understand – love."
"Well, think on it once in a while and maybe you will in time."
"I doubt it. All I have to look forward to is trying to stay out of the Marauders' way."
"What else did these "Marauders" do to you?"
"More of the same, I guess. They make fun of my nose, my ratty old hand-me- down clothes, my greasy hair, the way I talk, the way I move, and they've called me every nasty name you can think of. They've stolen my school books and hidden my things. They sent love letters from m-me to girls I – I – I would never – think of – sending letters."
"You stammered just then, Sev. What about that is so upsetting to you?"
"W-well, the really p-pretty girls, I mean. The ones who'd never th-think of being with m-me. They would laugh or s-s-sometimes they'd come up and slap me in th-the face and I wouldn't even know wh-why. S-some of the letters were really di-dirty."
"Have you stammered before, Sev?"
"My d-dad cursed me and b-beat me up one summer, just before s - school," the boy said. "I don't k-know whether it was the Cruciatus or-or the beating that d-did it. Since then i-it happens wh-when I get nervous."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will go away. What else have the Marauders done?"
"They p-pushed me into a creek and p - poured lye soap on my head. I almost went b-blind."
"Why would they do that?"
Severus' mouth twitched at the corners. "They th - think that b - because my hair is g - greasy I don't take baths. I do, every day! I w - wash my hair every day! But it's – I don't know – it's like my h - head is an oil well or something."
"Many teens face the same problem."
"Not as b - bad as me! They call me G -greaseball and Slimy Snake. One year I was G - greasy Git, the next year I w - was Mr. Slick of Slytherin. They also call me a lot of other th – things, like Hatchet-Face and Twitchy."
"Why did they call you Twitchy?"
Severus balled his hands into fists. "Because my damned f - father has p - put enough curses on me to s - screw up my nervous system. I've been hit with the Cruciatus more ti - times than I can c - count."
"I'm so sorry to hear about that," Sibelius Hammer said humbly.
"Everybody's s - sorry about it, but what about b - back then? I was just this poor little kid running around with b - bruises and burns and broken b - bones and nobody did anything about it. Even at Hogwarts."
"I thought your Headmaster confronted your father."
"He did – but Da told him not to stick his n - nose where it didn't belong. And now he's c - coming out of Azkaban soon – "
"How did you find out, Severus?" Healer Hammer said, concerned.
"I can count."
"What do you think will happen when he is released from prison?"
"He's just g - going to get out and beat the crap out of my m - mother and me. I hope he k - kills me quickly. I figure I've s - suffered enough."
"We will do what we can to make sure that does not happen, Severus."
"Oh, right. My Headmaster wanted to bring my father up on ch - charges when I was a First Year, b - but he said I would have to t - testify against him. But Da had told me that if I ever told anyone about him and me that he would k - kill my mother in revenge." Severus broke into harsh, choking sobs, with more anger than misery in them.
Sibelius wrapped his arms around the boy again and streamed healing energy through him. Gradually, Sev's panic settled back down to a manageable level.
The healer tipped Sev's chin up with his hand. "Listen to me very carefully, Severus. There is NO WAY we will allow that man to ever hurt you again. We're more than healers. We are also employees of the Ministry of Magic, and, unlike teachers and schoolmasters, we do have the power to stop him."
"Forgive me, but I don't b - believe you," Sev said, shaking off the healer's hand. "Can I take a n - nap now?" He was white with anxiety.
Sibelius Hammer sighed. "Of course, Severus. You and I will work on this. And Healer LaChance will help too. You will feel better when you leave here, I know it. I can't guarantee that your life will be any easier, but you will have the tools to handle whatever comes your way." He stood, then motioned to Severus to follow him.
On their way, they met Healer LaChance.
"Hello, Severus," she said. "No braid today?"
Sev's cheeks dimpled. "Nah – not today. Didn't feel like it, I guess."
"Sev needs a nap, Shonsey," Sibelius Hammer said. "Why don't you take him back to the ward if you're going that way?"
"Sure! Come on, Sev."
Severus said goodbye to Sibelius and began the long and winding path back to the Children's Psychiatric Ward.
"Why do they call you t - that?" he asked.
"From my last name. In French, it's said "lah shonss" – so Shonsey is just a nickname for it."
"I've never had a nice nickname. Just b - bad ones."
"If I was to choose one for you, I'd call you Survivor Sev."
"Why?" he asked, dropping his head.
"Because that's what you are. You have incredible reserves of strength inside you. You're not really aware of them. But how else would you have survived your father's torture and your mother's neglect and your classmates' taunting without your inner strength?"
Severus shrugged noncommittally.
"The gods must be saving you for something great, Severus," Healer LaChance emphasized as they rounded into the ward. "Ah, here we are. The elves have made you up a nice fresh bed! Come on, get into those pajamas."
She whirled her wand, dropping a modesty curtain around the boy. He liked the clean smell and the softness of the hospital's nightclothes. In some indefinable way, they made him feel cared for.
"Done?"
"Yep."
With another whirl of her wand, the curtain disappeared. Severus had already climbed into bed. Healer LaChance helped him snuggle down and tucked him in. She made sure the pillow fit comfortably under his head.
"Why are you so nice?"
The healer smiled. "It makes me happy to make you happy."
Sev tucked his face under his top sheet so she wouldn't see his smile.
She smoothed his hair. "Never be afraid to let others see your smile, Sev. Your whole face comes to life when you smile. Have a wonderful, safe nap." She leaned over and kissed the child's forehead, adding a blush to his smile.
For the first time in a very long while Severus Snape didn't feel like dying. He closed his beautiful dark eyes and slipped into a contented sleep.
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Professor McGonagall swept into the room and spoke briefly to Professor Flitwick.
"James Potter, you are wanted in Professor McGonagall's room."
She then visited Professor McElwain's Defense Against the Dark Arts class.
"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, kindly report to Professor McGonagall's room,"
She then went by Professor Sprout's greenhouse.
"Mr. Black, would you go to Professor McGonagall's room? Thank you."
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The boys entered the Transfigurations professor's classroom. They glanced at one another uneasily.
"Gentlemen," said Professor McGonagall, entering behind them. "All four of you room together. Hasn't it been awkward, this factions business, one half of you not speaking to the other half?"
They nodded without much enthusiasm.
"I think you should take the next five minutes to make peace with one another. I am certain, of course, that any such discussion should not authorize playing pranks on Mr. Snape. His Head of House will exact the same sort of pledge from him. Mr. Potter, you will speak first."
"I blame Sirius for causing the problem with Severus. We really had a good time, and you totally ruined it. It was like a slap in my face. And Peter, your agreeing with him about discussions you never had made me look like a total liar. I don't understand why you would set me up like that."
"Mr. Pettigrew?" said Professor McGonagall.
"Um – sorry, Prongs. I'll never do it again," Peter said.
Sirius was slower to respond. "All right, look. I did it because I didn't want the greasy – "
"Mr. Black!" the professor warned.
"Sorry, ma'am. I didn't want Snape hanging around with us. That's all. I promise I won't prank him until the end of the year."
"What about after that?" Minerva said.
"I don't know. I'll only agree to do what I honestly believe I can carry out."
"I'd like to hear an apology, Mr. Black," she remarked.
"Sorry, Prongs. Sorry, Moony. I was totally rude."
"Will you shake on it, gentlemen?" Professor McGonagall inquired.
They sheepishly shook on it.
"Now. I would like to hear a promise from the other three that they won't prank Mr. Snape."
"I agree with that," Remus said. "I would like to go visit him. Do any of you want to go with me?"
James said, "I think he'd have me thrown out."
"Perhaps he wouldn't if he knew you were telling the truth."
"And you're prepared to say that?"
"Certainly. I was wrong for standing by and watching it happen."
"All right. I'll go. But I'm not guaranteeing anything."
"Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew? Do you wish to go and join in the apology?" said the Transfigurations professor.
"Not really."
"Very well. You are dismissed. Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter, you may ask the Headmaster for permission to go with him. That's all."
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Severus opened his eyes to see the pallid face of Lucius Malfoy looming over him.
"About time you woke up, Snape," Lucius drawled. "I've been waiting an age. I've got a good deal to tell you!"
Sev sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What's been going on?"
Lucius raised an eyebrow, peering at the underclassman in the snooty way he had. "I've seen dead hedgehogs lying on the side of the road that look better than you do."
Sev shrugged. "I s - suppose everyone knows what I did."
Lucius Malfoy sat down on the chair to the left of Sev's hospital bed. "They do. You were the talk of the Castle for one whole week. Then attention was diverted to Madeline Parkinson's horrific new haircut."
Severus grinned. "Maybe by the time I get back to school, p - people will have forgotten all about it."
Lucius' blue eyes flashed with a hard glitter. "No, Snape. We don't want people to forget what happened to you. Those bastards over in Gryffindor House have got to be taught a lesson. Oh, you asked what had been going on – well, let's see if I can summarize. Slytherin/Gryffindor fist fights and/or hex wars, at least once a day. Campus-wide seven o'clock curfew to stem the House hostilities. Ev and your cousins beat the crap out of Black for you. The Woot brothers took down Potter."
"Woahh! Is that r - right?"
"They had to learn the hard way that we take care of our own."
Sev's eyes grew huge. Wasn't it only last month when most of his Housemates either ignored him or ranked him out for whatever reason?
"Yes, Snape. You have become a – cause celebre."
"R - really?"
Lucius smiled his tight controlled smile. "You tried to make friends with one of those Gryffindor bastards and just look what happened to you! You ended up in St. Mungo's looking like road kill!"
Both boys laughed. It was the first time Sev had laughed since he had visited James Potter at his house.
"I hope you've learned your lesson, Snape," said Lucius, taking on the mien of an elder statesman. "Your real friends are in Slytherin House. Never forget that."
Sev's eyes opened wide. "A-all right."
"And no more of that foolish stuttering. Slytherins don't stutter."
Sev felt like dropping his head and letting his hair shield his face, but he knew better than to pull that in front of Malfoy.
"You know, Snape, people have been taking notice of you. You're probably the best Potions student the school's had in the last fifty years. There are people who would be very interested in a fellow like you."
Severus tried his hardest not to stutter. "Is that right?"
"Absolutely. You see, Snape, you can hang around with people who make fun of you, or you can hang around with the winners -- people who would welcome your expertise and place a high value upon it. So, when you get out of this hellhole called a hospital, come see me and I'll have you talk with some of the older Slytherins." Lucius fixed his bright drill-bit eyes upon Severus. "You don't have to put up with people who beat you up and play tricks on you. We Slytherins don't have to put up with nonsense from anyone."
"I got in trouble first term of my first year for throwing Dark hexes, Lucius. I can't do that at Hogwarts."
Lucius leaned forward. "But you did plenty of magic before you came to Hogwarts. Your father is a friend of my father...or he was, that is, until he became a jailbird."
Severus gave a hard little laugh at this.
"You're tremendously skilled in the art of potion making – one of a kind. You have a wealth of knowledge to share with – our kind of friends."
"I'm n - not supposed to practice magic outside of school. You know that."
"Don't you think there are such things as shields against Ministry detection? Don't be such a dummy, Snape."
Sev blinked.
"Not everyone cowers at Ministry pronouncements. Some of us take our own stand and set our own limits. I'm sure if you wanted to teach some of the upperclassmen what you know, we could arrange a safe place to do it – say, Malfoy Manor. Interested?"
"I s - suppose."
"Well, think about it. And think about the fact that your Slytherin brothers and sisters are out there defending your reputation as we speak." However --," Lucius said, throwing on his traveling cloak, "I'd better go before you pass out; you're looking a bit cross-eyed to me."
"It's the medicine th-they've been giving m-me."
Lucius spun around, his long white hair whipping over his shoulder. "What did I tell you about that damnable stutter, Snape?"
Sev sat silent.
"And Snape," Malfoy said with the tiniest touch of a sneer. "No more suicide attempts, eh? It's so déclassé." And with that declaration, Lucius Malfoy left the Children's Ward.
Severus sighed deeply, and decided he might as well have another nap before the Headmaster came. Being awake was becoming far too stressful.
If someone had told James Potter that Severus Snape would help him win Lily Evans' heart, he would have laughed himself into a hemorrhage.
"How was the hospital visit, Lily?" James said, watching her approach and then sit next to him at the Great Hall breakfast table.
"Grim," she sighed. "Very grim. He looks awful and I think he still wants to die."
James shrugged. "Well, if they can't fix him, no one can," he said. "It's amazing that he even woke up at all."
"He said something about having a lot of operations. His throat is still burned, I think, because he sounds entirely different."
"Too bad," James said. "So many rotten things have happened over the last month."
"And some good has come of it, too," said Lily, patting his hand. "I found out that James Potter has a heart of gold."
James was too thrilled and flabbergasted to respond, so he simply crammed his mouth full of waffle.
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"I understand that you still want to die, Severus," said Sibelius Hammer.
Severus' mental blast shields went up.
"Who told you that?"
"I overheard you telling your visitor last night that you wished someone would slit your wrists for you."
"YOU EAVESDROPPED? I THOUGHT THERE WAS A SILENCING CHARM OVER US!"
"There was – but I still heard you."
Severus grumbled something exceedingly nasty about psychic counselors.
"Let's talk about why you feel that way, Severus."
"Why?"
"It's important for your recovery."
"Why?"
"Personally, I want to see you recover and make it in life, Sev. You have great strength inside you. How you've managed to survive this long is astounding."
Severus shrugged and looked at the floor.
"Why do you want to die so badly?"
The boy lifted his chin, a sneer on his face. "Oh, let's see. My father – well, you know all about that. I wish I hadn't remembered. Thanks for reminding me."
"We are going to have to talk about that, Severus."
"Not today we're not. Let's continue," Sev began counting with his fingers. "My mother ignores me and never wanted to have me in the first place. The students at Hogwarts hate me. The majority of the faculty at Hogwarts hates me. I'm skinny and ugly. The girls laugh at me when I ask them out. My best friend was taken away from me and since then my life has gone right in the toilet. I have terrible dreams. I'm afraid of everything. People scare me. Hands scare me. Noises scare me. Oh, I almost forgot -- the Marauders – four boys from Gryffindor House – have been out to get me since I first set foot on school grounds. Shall I go on?"
"I understand that one of them came here to apologize the day after you were admitted, but it didn't turn out to be an apology at all."
"That's SillyAss Black. The bastard. And the other three, of course."
"Why do you hate them, Sev?"
"Do you want another list?"
"I'd be happy to listen to whatever you have to say."
"Sirius Black attached my hair to his broomstick and then rode low over the moors, dragging me in the mud. They tied me up and threatened to put a bonfire under me; they actually stacked the wood and lit the match! They knocked me down in the wintertime and stuffed my robes full of snow, lots of times. They did the same thing to my friend Martis and she almost died of exposure."
"Completely unacceptable behavior. Go on, Sev."
Severus blinked at him. Did the counselor agree with him about the great and glorious heroes of Gryffindor?
"They've turned my food into guts, they've exploded my projects, burned my homework, and hexed my clothes. They've beaten me up more times than I can count. They've blamed lab accidents on me. They've thrown me in the lake. They've set me up with teachers – passing notes and turning in parchments that were supposedly from me but weren't."
"What would you say was the worst thing they did to you?"
Severus ducked his head low and sighed. "They flipped me upside down once. I only have one uniform and I had just been wearing my gown all buttoned up because it was my washing day. When I was turned upside down, everybody could see my underwear. It was awful. I had been put in a binding spell so I couldn't even reach up and try to cover myself. I just shut my eyes and prayed. And then – one of them, James Potter, said he was going to take off my underpants and I prayed that he wouldn't – but he did. When he released me from the hex, I ran into the Forbidden Forest and the Headmaster and some other people had to come fetch me."
"I don't blame you, Sev. I probably would have done the same thing, just to get away."
Sev blinked again. "Really?"
Sibelius nodded. "Really. Your survival instincts are good. Don't you realize that you really want to live, deep down inside?"
Sev dropped his head.
"Severus – think hard and see if you can't tell me the one reason why you don't want to live any more. What people have done to you certainly impact that, but what is it that breaks your heart?"
The Slytherin boy looked up at him, and then dropped his head again. It didn't take long for the tears to fall.
"I – don't matter. I'm – worthless. People – don't like me, let alone love me. And – that – breaks – my – heart!"
The child cried as his counselor held him.
"Just so you know," Healer Hammer said, "You do matter. You are a valuable and worthwhile person, right now, without any proof."
Sev sighed. "That sounds like something Healer LaChance told me."
"It's true."
"I don't understand it, though. I don't understand – love."
"Well, think on it once in a while and maybe you will in time."
"I doubt it. All I have to look forward to is trying to stay out of the Marauders' way."
"What else did these "Marauders" do to you?"
"More of the same, I guess. They make fun of my nose, my ratty old hand-me- down clothes, my greasy hair, the way I talk, the way I move, and they've called me every nasty name you can think of. They've stolen my school books and hidden my things. They sent love letters from m-me to girls I – I – I would never – think of – sending letters."
"You stammered just then, Sev. What about that is so upsetting to you?"
"W-well, the really p-pretty girls, I mean. The ones who'd never th-think of being with m-me. They would laugh or s-s-sometimes they'd come up and slap me in th-the face and I wouldn't even know wh-why. S-some of the letters were really di-dirty."
"Have you stammered before, Sev?"
"My d-dad cursed me and b-beat me up one summer, just before s - school," the boy said. "I don't k-know whether it was the Cruciatus or-or the beating that d-did it. Since then i-it happens wh-when I get nervous."
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it will go away. What else have the Marauders done?"
"They p-pushed me into a creek and p - poured lye soap on my head. I almost went b-blind."
"Why would they do that?"
Severus' mouth twitched at the corners. "They th - think that b - because my hair is g - greasy I don't take baths. I do, every day! I w - wash my hair every day! But it's – I don't know – it's like my h - head is an oil well or something."
"Many teens face the same problem."
"Not as b - bad as me! They call me G -greaseball and Slimy Snake. One year I was G - greasy Git, the next year I w - was Mr. Slick of Slytherin. They also call me a lot of other th – things, like Hatchet-Face and Twitchy."
"Why did they call you Twitchy?"
Severus balled his hands into fists. "Because my damned f - father has p - put enough curses on me to s - screw up my nervous system. I've been hit with the Cruciatus more ti - times than I can c - count."
"I'm so sorry to hear about that," Sibelius Hammer said humbly.
"Everybody's s - sorry about it, but what about b - back then? I was just this poor little kid running around with b - bruises and burns and broken b - bones and nobody did anything about it. Even at Hogwarts."
"I thought your Headmaster confronted your father."
"He did – but Da told him not to stick his n - nose where it didn't belong. And now he's c - coming out of Azkaban soon – "
"How did you find out, Severus?" Healer Hammer said, concerned.
"I can count."
"What do you think will happen when he is released from prison?"
"He's just g - going to get out and beat the crap out of my m - mother and me. I hope he k - kills me quickly. I figure I've s - suffered enough."
"We will do what we can to make sure that does not happen, Severus."
"Oh, right. My Headmaster wanted to bring my father up on ch - charges when I was a First Year, b - but he said I would have to t - testify against him. But Da had told me that if I ever told anyone about him and me that he would k - kill my mother in revenge." Severus broke into harsh, choking sobs, with more anger than misery in them.
Sibelius wrapped his arms around the boy again and streamed healing energy through him. Gradually, Sev's panic settled back down to a manageable level.
The healer tipped Sev's chin up with his hand. "Listen to me very carefully, Severus. There is NO WAY we will allow that man to ever hurt you again. We're more than healers. We are also employees of the Ministry of Magic, and, unlike teachers and schoolmasters, we do have the power to stop him."
"Forgive me, but I don't b - believe you," Sev said, shaking off the healer's hand. "Can I take a n - nap now?" He was white with anxiety.
Sibelius Hammer sighed. "Of course, Severus. You and I will work on this. And Healer LaChance will help too. You will feel better when you leave here, I know it. I can't guarantee that your life will be any easier, but you will have the tools to handle whatever comes your way." He stood, then motioned to Severus to follow him.
On their way, they met Healer LaChance.
"Hello, Severus," she said. "No braid today?"
Sev's cheeks dimpled. "Nah – not today. Didn't feel like it, I guess."
"Sev needs a nap, Shonsey," Sibelius Hammer said. "Why don't you take him back to the ward if you're going that way?"
"Sure! Come on, Sev."
Severus said goodbye to Sibelius and began the long and winding path back to the Children's Psychiatric Ward.
"Why do they call you t - that?" he asked.
"From my last name. In French, it's said "lah shonss" – so Shonsey is just a nickname for it."
"I've never had a nice nickname. Just b - bad ones."
"If I was to choose one for you, I'd call you Survivor Sev."
"Why?" he asked, dropping his head.
"Because that's what you are. You have incredible reserves of strength inside you. You're not really aware of them. But how else would you have survived your father's torture and your mother's neglect and your classmates' taunting without your inner strength?"
Severus shrugged noncommittally.
"The gods must be saving you for something great, Severus," Healer LaChance emphasized as they rounded into the ward. "Ah, here we are. The elves have made you up a nice fresh bed! Come on, get into those pajamas."
She whirled her wand, dropping a modesty curtain around the boy. He liked the clean smell and the softness of the hospital's nightclothes. In some indefinable way, they made him feel cared for.
"Done?"
"Yep."
With another whirl of her wand, the curtain disappeared. Severus had already climbed into bed. Healer LaChance helped him snuggle down and tucked him in. She made sure the pillow fit comfortably under his head.
"Why are you so nice?"
The healer smiled. "It makes me happy to make you happy."
Sev tucked his face under his top sheet so she wouldn't see his smile.
She smoothed his hair. "Never be afraid to let others see your smile, Sev. Your whole face comes to life when you smile. Have a wonderful, safe nap." She leaned over and kissed the child's forehead, adding a blush to his smile.
For the first time in a very long while Severus Snape didn't feel like dying. He closed his beautiful dark eyes and slipped into a contented sleep.
--------------
Professor McGonagall swept into the room and spoke briefly to Professor Flitwick.
"James Potter, you are wanted in Professor McGonagall's room."
She then visited Professor McElwain's Defense Against the Dark Arts class.
"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, kindly report to Professor McGonagall's room,"
She then went by Professor Sprout's greenhouse.
"Mr. Black, would you go to Professor McGonagall's room? Thank you."
----------
The boys entered the Transfigurations professor's classroom. They glanced at one another uneasily.
"Gentlemen," said Professor McGonagall, entering behind them. "All four of you room together. Hasn't it been awkward, this factions business, one half of you not speaking to the other half?"
They nodded without much enthusiasm.
"I think you should take the next five minutes to make peace with one another. I am certain, of course, that any such discussion should not authorize playing pranks on Mr. Snape. His Head of House will exact the same sort of pledge from him. Mr. Potter, you will speak first."
"I blame Sirius for causing the problem with Severus. We really had a good time, and you totally ruined it. It was like a slap in my face. And Peter, your agreeing with him about discussions you never had made me look like a total liar. I don't understand why you would set me up like that."
"Mr. Pettigrew?" said Professor McGonagall.
"Um – sorry, Prongs. I'll never do it again," Peter said.
Sirius was slower to respond. "All right, look. I did it because I didn't want the greasy – "
"Mr. Black!" the professor warned.
"Sorry, ma'am. I didn't want Snape hanging around with us. That's all. I promise I won't prank him until the end of the year."
"What about after that?" Minerva said.
"I don't know. I'll only agree to do what I honestly believe I can carry out."
"I'd like to hear an apology, Mr. Black," she remarked.
"Sorry, Prongs. Sorry, Moony. I was totally rude."
"Will you shake on it, gentlemen?" Professor McGonagall inquired.
They sheepishly shook on it.
"Now. I would like to hear a promise from the other three that they won't prank Mr. Snape."
"I agree with that," Remus said. "I would like to go visit him. Do any of you want to go with me?"
James said, "I think he'd have me thrown out."
"Perhaps he wouldn't if he knew you were telling the truth."
"And you're prepared to say that?"
"Certainly. I was wrong for standing by and watching it happen."
"All right. I'll go. But I'm not guaranteeing anything."
"Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew? Do you wish to go and join in the apology?" said the Transfigurations professor.
"Not really."
"Very well. You are dismissed. Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter, you may ask the Headmaster for permission to go with him. That's all."
---------------
Severus opened his eyes to see the pallid face of Lucius Malfoy looming over him.
"About time you woke up, Snape," Lucius drawled. "I've been waiting an age. I've got a good deal to tell you!"
Sev sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What's been going on?"
Lucius raised an eyebrow, peering at the underclassman in the snooty way he had. "I've seen dead hedgehogs lying on the side of the road that look better than you do."
Sev shrugged. "I s - suppose everyone knows what I did."
Lucius Malfoy sat down on the chair to the left of Sev's hospital bed. "They do. You were the talk of the Castle for one whole week. Then attention was diverted to Madeline Parkinson's horrific new haircut."
Severus grinned. "Maybe by the time I get back to school, p - people will have forgotten all about it."
Lucius' blue eyes flashed with a hard glitter. "No, Snape. We don't want people to forget what happened to you. Those bastards over in Gryffindor House have got to be taught a lesson. Oh, you asked what had been going on – well, let's see if I can summarize. Slytherin/Gryffindor fist fights and/or hex wars, at least once a day. Campus-wide seven o'clock curfew to stem the House hostilities. Ev and your cousins beat the crap out of Black for you. The Woot brothers took down Potter."
"Woahh! Is that r - right?"
"They had to learn the hard way that we take care of our own."
Sev's eyes grew huge. Wasn't it only last month when most of his Housemates either ignored him or ranked him out for whatever reason?
"Yes, Snape. You have become a – cause celebre."
"R - really?"
Lucius smiled his tight controlled smile. "You tried to make friends with one of those Gryffindor bastards and just look what happened to you! You ended up in St. Mungo's looking like road kill!"
Both boys laughed. It was the first time Sev had laughed since he had visited James Potter at his house.
"I hope you've learned your lesson, Snape," said Lucius, taking on the mien of an elder statesman. "Your real friends are in Slytherin House. Never forget that."
Sev's eyes opened wide. "A-all right."
"And no more of that foolish stuttering. Slytherins don't stutter."
Sev felt like dropping his head and letting his hair shield his face, but he knew better than to pull that in front of Malfoy.
"You know, Snape, people have been taking notice of you. You're probably the best Potions student the school's had in the last fifty years. There are people who would be very interested in a fellow like you."
Severus tried his hardest not to stutter. "Is that right?"
"Absolutely. You see, Snape, you can hang around with people who make fun of you, or you can hang around with the winners -- people who would welcome your expertise and place a high value upon it. So, when you get out of this hellhole called a hospital, come see me and I'll have you talk with some of the older Slytherins." Lucius fixed his bright drill-bit eyes upon Severus. "You don't have to put up with people who beat you up and play tricks on you. We Slytherins don't have to put up with nonsense from anyone."
"I got in trouble first term of my first year for throwing Dark hexes, Lucius. I can't do that at Hogwarts."
Lucius leaned forward. "But you did plenty of magic before you came to Hogwarts. Your father is a friend of my father...or he was, that is, until he became a jailbird."
Severus gave a hard little laugh at this.
"You're tremendously skilled in the art of potion making – one of a kind. You have a wealth of knowledge to share with – our kind of friends."
"I'm n - not supposed to practice magic outside of school. You know that."
"Don't you think there are such things as shields against Ministry detection? Don't be such a dummy, Snape."
Sev blinked.
"Not everyone cowers at Ministry pronouncements. Some of us take our own stand and set our own limits. I'm sure if you wanted to teach some of the upperclassmen what you know, we could arrange a safe place to do it – say, Malfoy Manor. Interested?"
"I s - suppose."
"Well, think about it. And think about the fact that your Slytherin brothers and sisters are out there defending your reputation as we speak." However --," Lucius said, throwing on his traveling cloak, "I'd better go before you pass out; you're looking a bit cross-eyed to me."
"It's the medicine th-they've been giving m-me."
Lucius spun around, his long white hair whipping over his shoulder. "What did I tell you about that damnable stutter, Snape?"
Sev sat silent.
"And Snape," Malfoy said with the tiniest touch of a sneer. "No more suicide attempts, eh? It's so déclassé." And with that declaration, Lucius Malfoy left the Children's Ward.
Severus sighed deeply, and decided he might as well have another nap before the Headmaster came. Being awake was becoming far too stressful.