The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z
Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.
A/N: In this chapter, there's some major dissing of various fiction themes/topics. This is to (hopefully) add humour in the form of irony. I hope I don't offend anyone, and just for the record; BULMA/VEGETA AND OC FICS RULE! Here's Chapter 36!
"Uh…Piccolo?" Nadia asked tentatively, as she entered the room.
"What is it now?" Piccolo demanded.
"I just wanted to say you and Gohan make a great couple and…" Nadia paused briefly, looking over to where Yoli held a thumbs-up sign. She closed her eyes before commencing her sentence. "…I want to say congratulations on coming out of the closet." Nadia opened an eye slowly as Piccolo didn't respond, and saw his antennae twitching. "Uh…you OK?"
"You little brat! How dare you suggest I am homosexual? And with my best friend's son, who is like a son to me! I am Gohan's teacher!" Piccolo began, his voice starting to crack.
"Is Piccolo…crying?" Joe asked Yoli in disbelief.
"I'm so misunderstood! Why can't people understand that being A-sexual means I cannot, even if I wanted, have a sexual relationship with females, let alone males! It really hurts me that people think this!" Piccolo sobbed.
"Um…there, there." Nadia patted Piccolo's back.
"Detention!" Piccolo suddenly roared, causing Nadia to jump.
"Yes! I mean, oh no. But I have so many things to do and stuff."
"Tough crap, isn't it? You should've thought about that before…uh…making me…yeah." Piccolo trailed off.
"OK, Piccolo. I will be at detention." Nadia said, walking out.
"Lucky cow, you didn't get beaten up or anything!" Joe said enviously.
"No, but that mental image of Piccolo crying will haunt my dreams forever." Nadia shuddered.
~*~
"'Detention Room'. See, it has it's own shiny plaque and everything!" Yoli grinned; seemingly proud that she had detention.
"Maybe Piccolo forgot." Joe said, looking around as if he had to be somewhere.
"No, he didn't." Piccolo said, opening the door. "Come in."
"Wow, this place is pretty spiffy." Nadia commented.
"Better than our dorms." Yoli huffed bitterly, looking around the empty room save ten separate desks with a chair each.
"Sit down, no talking. You will all write me a Dragon Ball Z based fiction." Piccolo instructed.
"Damn, I need to get detention more often!" Yoli grinned, taking out a pencil and beginning to write.
"Wait." Piccolo's voice boomed. "I didn't finish. You will all write me a Dragon Ball Z based fiction. However, it must be original. No I do not mean a Vegeta/Bulma get together with your own kooky twist."
"Why the hell would I wanna write one of those? Now a Vegeta/OC is more my style! The OC looking surprisingly like me." Nadia grinned.
"Which brings me onto my next point; no Original Characters or lemons." Piccolo smirked as the three students gasped. "Oh, and especially no parodies. In fact, no humour at all, it's all mainly regurgitated crap. Like this one fiction, 'Official Fanfiction University Of Dragon Ball Z' I heard about. Highly unrealistic and barely funny at all."
"But…but…no Bulma/Vegeta, no Original Character, no humour, no lemons? What will we do?" Yoli demanded, collapsing onto her knees.
"You will write a fiction worth reading, that's what." Piccolo said, crossing his arms and giving the students a steely glare.
~*~ (40 minutes later.)
"You have twenty more minutes to complete this work." Piccolo said.
"Shit." Nadia muttered, screwing up her piece of paper and adding it to the pile growing on her desk.
"How're you doing?" Joe whispered.
"Well, to be honest, I'm not. I keep writing an OC fic, it's my sub-consciousness! You?" Nadia asked.
"Same. Yoli looks like she's coping though." Joe said, nodding in Yoli's direction, who was furiously scribbling away, a huge smile playing on her lips.
"Yeah."
"Shhh!" Piccolo hissed. "Time's up."
"Here ya go!" Yoli grinned as she handed her paper over.
"Here." Joe and Nadia said unenthusiastically as Piccolo had to practically snatch their one-paragraph fictions from them.
"Just as I expected." Piccolo gave them a disapproving look. "What the hell is this?"
"A fiction with no humour, no Bulma/Vegeta romance, no lemons and no OC!" Yoli grinned proudly.
"But everyone dies in the opening paragraph!"
"Yeah, but it has no humour, Bulma/Vegeta romance, lemons or OC!" Yoli grinned.
"Why you…" Piccolo was cut off by an announcement over the loud speaker.
"Can all students please report to the canteen for an emergency assembly." The voice called.
~*~ (Canteen)
"Yesterday, two of our students were knocked over by hover-cars. Thankfully, they are uninjured, but something worse than this could happen. Which is why we're introducing uniforms. We believe the reason they were knocked over is because the driver couldn't see them. Yes?" Gohan asked Yoli, who had her hand up.
"Are you sure it's not because they're blind shits?" Yoli demanded.
"Or maybe the driver didn't like them." Nadia offered.
"Um…no, I'm pretty sure that the driver couldn't see them. So, here are the two girls modelling our new uniforms." Gohan was the only one who applauded as the girls came on the stage, wearing the uniforms.
"They're so…" Yoli began.
"Yellow." Nadia finished.
"And so…"
"Yellow."
"They're just plain minging if you ask me." Joe stated as the girls turned around. One was modelling a bright yellow shirt with a brown tie and pale yellow skirt, with brown shoes and knee length yellow socks. The other girl was modelling a brown sweatshirt, with bright yellow trousers and brown shoes. Each girl's hair was pulled into a ponytail held by a yellow scrunchie.
"Can all students please return to their dorms where a uniform will be waiting." Gohan said, blinking in surprise as, instead of the usual crush, students were heard saying;
"After you."
"No, after you."