The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z
Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.
A/N: Oh…my…god! I'm atheist but ah well, 402 bloody reviews! You guys fucking rule *Hugglez all authors even the ones that smell* No offence, I'ma just assuming you can't ALL smell nice. Ack, this thank ya is turning into a major bitching match! Sorry and thank you, the best two words in the world! Oh, and if you don't understand what some of the Japanese phrases I use mean, just ask in your reviews. I know that the majority of ff.net DBZ writers/readers know the basics so I won't insult your intelligence by listing what 'baka' I, but I also use some more uncommonly known ones, so don't hesitate to ask!
"Hello, if I wanted to be a Brownie (A/N: Um…Girl scout to Americans I think…) I wouldn't of grabbed onto the car door for dear life when my mum tried to force me!" Yoli paced the room, kitted out in her uniform. Unfortunately, hers was two sizes too big, so she looked slightly more retarded than the other students.
"I feel like a dandelion. I don't like dandelions. They suck." Sai muttered, staring at her reflection in the mirror.
"Do I look as much of a dick as I think I do?" Joe asked, who had just knocked on the door.
"Nope. You look ten times worse." Nadia said, answering the door. She motioned him in.
"Brown's never gonna look good on me." Sai muttered in disgust, leaving the dorm and slamming the door behind her.
"And that's another happy student at the University that is DragonBall Z." Yoli stated.
"Look at Vegeta in his room, all dressed in normal clothes. Jammy git." Nadia muttered sourly.
"You can see Skittles' room from here? Oh damn, you said he was wearing clothes." Yoli said disappointedly.
"Yeah you can, and he sleepwalks!" Nadia offered.
"What? And you didn't tell me this before because…?" Yoli asked.
"What is this? Oh, hey J'dee." Nadia said, answering the door for the second time.
"Here." J'dee threw 'Yamcha's' coat onto the bed, which she had been holding at long range with a stick.
"Uh…you're not gonna beat us with that, are you?" Nadia asked, looking scared. (A/N: Muwhahaha! I'ma beat ya with a stick!)
"What's wrong?" Joe asked, seeing the rage imprinted all over J'dee's face.
"That is not Yamcha's coat! That fucking short Saiyan lied! It's Mr fucking Popo's!" J'dee enunciated each word carefully, clenching her fists as she did so.
"How'd you know?" Yoli asked rather sulkily, choosing to ignore the Vegeta comment.
"Here." J'dee said, picking the coat up with the stick and flinging it at Yoli.
"Oh." Yoli said, as she looked at the name written on the label; 'Mr B Popo'
"Wonder what the 'B' stands for." Joe pondered, inspecting the label.
"Who gives a crap? I wanna know; where is Vegetable Head and Yamcha's coat?" J'dee demanded.
"They better not be in the same place!" Nadia said, a worrying thought crossing her mind.
"Only one way to find out…" Yoli answered, tying the sheets together and making a rope, which she dropped, out of the window. "You guys follow after me!" She called, half way down the homemade rope.
"Nah, you're alright." Joe said. "We'll use the door."
~*~
"Damn, who would've thought those sheets weren't that strong?" Yoli asked, throwing the remnants of the sheets in a nearby dustbin and dusting off her arse, which was covered in mud.
"I think the whole 'Do Not Use To Create A Rope' label gave me that impression." Nadia said, sarcastically.
"Oh, I didn't see that."
"Yeah it was right next to the 'Yoli Is Stupid' label." Joe said, joining in.
"Really, a sheet with my name on it? How spiffy!" Yoli said sincerely.
"Guys, lets think about the plan in hand." J'dee said, a determined look on her face.
"Which is…?" Nadia asked.
"To find Yamcha's jacket. In failing that, to torture Vegeta." J'dee announced.
"Now that sounds like fun!" Yoli grinned.
"This way, I think." Nadia said, steering them right. They'd landed on the 'Forbidden Floor' some time ago, but since it was like the fifth time they'd been there it wasn't so forbidden anymore.
"Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story. There's a man I chose…"
"Is that Vegeta…?" Yoli asked, looking shocked as she pressed her ear up to the door.
"I like a man who can sing." Nadia grinned.
"…There's my territory. And all the things I deserve, for being such a good girl…"
"Yo Skittles!" Yoli said, as she half fell and half pushed threw the door.
"Ikeike! What are you doing here?" Vegeta demanded, dressed in a pink dressing gown and various hair care products surrounding him.
"Were we interrupting something?" Joe asked, looking slightly scared.
"Ok Vegetable Head, where the hell is Yamcha and his jacket?" J'dee demanded, getting straight to the point.
"They're not here…are there?" Nadia asked, hoping the answer was 'no'.
"Of course not!" Vegeta exclaimed, looking slightly taken a-back. Nadia sighed in response.
"Ooo, Skittles, you wearing anything else besides that gown?" Yoli asked, winking at him.
"Get the fuck out of my room, kusotarres!" Vegeta shouted, throwing a can of mousse at them-the nearest thing to him.
"Woah, chill Veggie-Chan!" Nadia grinned, inspecting the bottle. "Aw, Veggie, you don't need to do anything to your hair. Its beautiful the way it is!"
"That's not what the onna said." Vegeta muttered sourly.
"What the hell did that bitch say?" Yoli demanded, getting an evil glint in her eyes.
"She saw a grey hair." Vegeta said, just above a whisper.
"WHAT? Is she insane? The stupid cow! How dare she? If she doesn't want you, I'll marry you!" Yoli said excitedly.
"Why the hell would I marry you? Its like going from one extreme to the other!" Vegeta smirked.
"Oh, hey Vegeta. Didn't know it was a slumber party." Goku said, arriving at the door.
"What the hell is Kakkorrot doing here?" Nadia demanded.
"Hello, back to the matter in hand? Yamcha?" J'dee demanded.
"Oh, Yamcha's room in three doors down…ja mata…" Goku said, scratching his neck as J'dee rushed out of the room.
"What are you doing here, Kakkorrot?" Vegeta demanded.
"Don't you remember, Vegeta? You asked me to come, and bring Chi Chi's hair dye!"
"What? That's a lie! It is!" Vegeta said as Nadia, Yoli and Joe gave him strange looks.
"Here Vegeta, I'll do it for you. I do it for Chi Chi all the time." Goku offered, spreading the black gloop all over his hands.
"No way!" Vegeta said, backing off. "I don't care if you use it on that Harpy's hair, you're not coming near me!"
"Fine, have grey hair. Some people say leaving in grey hairs is a sign of growing old gracefully."
"Get over here and put that stuff in my hair before I change my mind!" Vegeta ordered, as Goku smothered the gloop into his hair.
"Hey Vegeta, this piece of cotton was in your hair." Goku said, rescuing the cotton from Vegeta's barnet.
"Kakkorrot!" Vegeta bellowed. "That was my 'grey hair'. Damn that bakana onna!"
"Nevermind Vegeta, this washes out after fifteen washes." Goku reassured his friend.
"Um…is the dye supposed to go that colour?" Joe asked, furrowing his brow.
"Maybe it's just the light." Nadia reasoned.
"I doubt the light can turn black purple!" Yoli said.
"Hmmm, that's a nice purple."
"I'd call it lilac."
"Kakkorrot! What are they talking about?" Vegeta demanded, trying to look up at his hair.
"Gomen nasai, Vegeta. I think it's the wrong dye…" Goku started.
"What?" Vegeta asked, standing up and quickly washing his hair. "Hows it look now?"
"Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" Was all Goku said.
"Hmmm, at least you match my walls now, Skittles!" Yoli grinned as she saw Vegeta's new lilac coloured hair.