Chapter 14 – Dark Spells and Sad Farewells
"I'm going there to see my mother
I'm going there no more to roam,
I'm only going over Jordan
I'm only going over home."
- "Poor Wayfaring Stranger"American traditional song
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If it had been visible, the bubble of Dark magic over the Island of Crete would have looked like a great black and festering blister.
Magic had always been strong on that Mediterranean isle. The Minoans – the people who populated Crete thousands of years before the Ancient Greeks – were a magic people, and the symbols of their magic included the Labrys or double-headed axe, the spiral, the bumblebee, and the serpent.
As ancient as Crete's magic indeed was, no Dark spell had ever been cast over the land to cut it off from certain outside communications. That being the case, no one on the island had been on the alert for such a thing. Once Fawkes, Albus Dumbledore's phoenix, had discovered this black and blistery spell, it had proved to be impenetrable.
Albus had done two things as soon as Confutatis Maledictis Snape's hearing had adjourned. First, he had himself named as Severus' legal guardian. Second, he joined forces with the magical bird; it was only then that the phoenix could penetrate the barrier and deliver a long-overdue message to Tenebria Lestrange Snape.
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"Great Mother," shouted her hostess and sister Ravenclaw, Tassos Vox. "This note is from Hogwarts!"
The women read it, dark heads together.
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Lady T. Snape
C/o T. Vox
Knossos
Crete
Dear Lady Snape,
This is to advise you that your son is ill and is a patient at St. Mungo's Hospital in London.
His situation is stable and he is in good hands. He would like to see you, of course, as soon as possible.
Kindly communicate with me via Floo and I will be happy to escort you there.
Very truly yours,
Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
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"My poor Sevi!" Tenebria cried.
"I can floo you as far as Hogsmeade if you want to go with the Headmaster," Tassos Vox replied. "Now calm down. I'm sure he's all right."
"He's gone through so much, and it's all my fault!" Tenebria wailed.
"I'm sure you're right – how you could have stood that creature you married for as long as you have is a miracle to me. But that's neither here nor there. Get ready and I'll send you on your way."
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It sometimes seemed to Severus Snape that he slept far longer here at the Hospital than he had anywhere else.
Counseling took a lot of energy, and it seemed to Sev that he was either ranting or crying most of the time. The Headmaster had told him that the best source of fuel for such a task was ice cream. Sev had agreed, and was eating more than his fair share each day.
Asphora LaChance was delighted to see his appetite improve. He was also taking the initiative and getting himself up and dressed in the mornings. She told him that in another week or so, she would talk to his headmaster about working on some schoolwork during the day as well.
Sev had been withdrawn and apprehensive of others since he had arrived at St. Mungo's and had been in no hurry to chat with other patients. However, the collective children of the Kiddie Snuff Ward (as a few wags called it) were flooed to a gorgeous spot in the country every morning after breakfast. They were plunked into the middle of a field strewn with soft grasses and wildflowers, along with a pile of barely serviceable broomsticks, some extremely battered pieces of Quidditch equipment, and other wizarding children's games and toys. Severus really never quite figured out exactly where on Earth they were, since it was winter in England.
The children were encouraged to play Quidditch with one another. Of course, the pitch (that is, the meadow) had been specially charmed so that a falling child would slow down and come to a complete stop inches above the ground. There were also invisible barriers in the sky to keep more adventuresome patients (as well as those who were just plain sick and tired of St. Mungo's) within the general area.
"It's like the electrical yard barrier some Muggles have for their dogs," a boy named Rick Spiller had spouted indignantly. His statement had made Severus laugh, and before too much longer (and much to Sev's surprise), the two boys began conversing with one another.
"Why won't they just let us read or work on a puzzle?" said Severus, longing for the type of solitary leisure activity to which he was accustomed.
"Because it's isn't 'therapeutic' to be by yourself, they say," Rick Spiller said.
Severus' sharp tongue and dry wit got the better of him. "So it's more therapeutic to be surrounded by other nutters in addition to yourself?" he said.
Rick thought that was hilarious, and said so. "What you here for, anyway?"
"Drank poison," Severus said, shrugging.
"Me too," Rick had returned. "I was pretty good at Potions at Beauxbatons."
"I go to Hogwarts and study Potions there. Do you know a girl named Britomartis Vox, by any chance?"
"Nup, don't. Doesn't matter. They threw me out anyway."
"They did?" Sev responded, surprised.
"Well, I've done it three different times, and they gave up on me. Besides that, the Potions Master nearly had a nervous collapse over it. I didn't like Beauxbatons anyway," young Spiller had rejoined. "It's a poof school, in my opinion. I wouldn't mind heading for Durmstrang or Hogwarts, but my parents won't pay tuition if all I'm going to do at school is try to kill myself. I'm staying home, working in my parents' shop for a year."
"Did you play Quidditch at Beauxbatons?" Severus asked.
"Yup. You?"
Sev nodded, hoping that he could actually pull off such a lie.
"Want to join the game?"
"No time like the present."
From that morning on, Severus Snape had joined every Quidditch game. He was just good enough so that the other children thought he was a bit of a star at it, too. He confessed his fib after a few days, but the other patients didn't seem to care. It seemed that they too had been guilty of stretching the truth when reality looked too frightening.
It felt good to exercise and get a suntan. It felt good to be able to play like kids ordinarily do; Severus had never been given that liberty. It took away some of his awkward feelings of isolation.
Young Severus had also been so cheered by the fact that the great Albus Dumbledore was now his guardian that he ended up crying rather than laughing over it.
"Now you really are my child!" the Headmaster had chuckled. "Dry your eyes now, dear boy, it isn't that bad!"
"I'm – not – crying – because of that," Sev managed to say between dry spaces in his crying jag.
"I know, Severus, I know!" Dumbledore responded, patting him on the back.
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The children had all gone in for naps after Quidditch and lunch. Severus had just awakened, and lay on his back with his eyes still closed.
He listened to the Hospital sounds around him. The little girl two beds down was crying. Her mother had recently thrown her down the stairs. Sev identified; he had been thrown down every staircase in Snape Mansion and down more than just a few at Hogwarts as well. It bloody well hurt, not to mention the fact that your pride got bruised as well.
Funny, he thought. I thought I heard my mother's voice. Impossible. He sighed, ready to slip back under and sleep some more.
"Severus?" said Albus Dumbledore.
Snape's eyes flew open. Seeing his guardian and mentor, he sat up and smiled.
"I have a special surprise for you today!"
"Um – maple walnut ice cream this time?" Sev ventured.
"Something better. Come in, my dear," he said, motioning to the doorway.
"My sweet baby," Lady Snape cried. "Oh, my Sevi!"
The boy was motionless and remained so well into her third hug and fifth kiss. "Mama – you really – came?"
She stepped back and smiled at him. She was beautiful as always, and looked far less tired and stressed as she had appeared for most of Sev's life. "The Dark Lord – or someone Dark , at any rate – kept me from receiving Headmaster Dumbledore's messages telling me you were here, darling," she said, sitting on the side of the bed. "I had no idea. As soon as I found out, I came right away!"
"Did you have a good time?" he asked.
"I did," she said. "But now I'm back here – and your father is still in Azkaban and likely to remain so indefinitely, according to your headmaster."
"I'm so happy to see you, Mama," Severus said, hugging her and looking up at Dumbledore with a look more resembling sadness than happiness.
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In the next few days that followed, Severus told his mother what had happened, why he had drunk the poison, and what he had learned in the Hospital about it. While he was getting better a little bit more each day, Lady Snape went back and reopened the Manor only to find that she abhorred the place even more than she remembered. She put it on the market almost at once, complete with all its gloomy furnishings, save her son's and her own personal possessions.
"I hope you don't mind, Sevi," she sighed, sitting next to him in the common room where he halfheartedly put together a puzzle depicting the Hogwarts Express.
Hogwarts. The last place he could go now, it seemed. Home Sweet Home. Home with his guardian who would probably stop being his guardian now that his mother had returned. A lump rose in the boy's throat.
"Mama," he said, looking into eyes, as dark and liquid as his own. "It's all right. Sell the house. I hate it. It has nothing but bad memories for me."
"I thought I might – travel – after you get out of here, Sevi," she said, her eyes dropping to her hands.
"It's all right, Mama," he said.
She looked up at him. "What's all right?" she said, apprehensively.
"I'm getting big, Mama. I mostly live at school now."
"I know that, but still – "
"You told me once that you really didn't ever want to be a wife and mother. Remember that? You said you'd wanted to devote your life to study."
"I'm sorry I ever said that. All the same, I'm not sure what you're getting at, my sweet boy."
"Well," Severus said, laying down his puzzle piece and picking up his mother's hand. "This is your chance, don't you see?"
"I never really ever thought of it that way," she said, "but I've always wanted to study art in Italy, you know."
Sev picked up her other hand and held both in between his own. "Then do it, Mama. You can visit me when you're in England. And we can always floo or owl each other. Maybe I can come visit you in – wherever you're going to end up."
She dropped her head. Severus felt a tear fall on his hand. "Oh, don't cry, Mama. I've seen you cry far too often as it is."
"I'm so sorry that I was such a poor excuse of a mother to you, my poor baby. I didn't protect you when I should have. And now after spending the Holidays away from you, I hate the thought of saying goodbye again so soon."
"It's all right, Mama," Sev said, lifting her chin so they looked into each other's remarkably similar eyes. "I think you should sell the Manor and use the money to fulfill your dreams. Why not?"
"Half that money is yours, Sevi," she returned. "I'll put it in your account at Gringott's – before I go."
"That's the spirit, Mama!"
"Perhaps Professor Dumbledore can just remain your guardian, sweetheart. Would that be all right with you?"
"Sure," said her fifteen-year-old only child, hugging her tightly.
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Unfortunately, the reality of being totally without parents hit Severus hard over the next few days. When Sib or Asphora weren't sitting with him talking it through, Headmaster Dumbledore was.
He had obtained permission to go with Sev to the Sunny Meadow, and now sat with him as he wept.
"I guess I must have meant all those things I said," he moaned. "So why do I feel so bad?"
"Well, my boy, I think your half-grown man side said those things, but your half-grown boy side feels very lonely about it."
Sev rolled over, looking up into the fresh green leaves of the tree that shaded both of them. "I feel guilty," he said, his throat tightening.
"About what, Severus?"
"I guess – I can't say this, Headmaster."
"Give me a try?"
He shook his head.
Albus simply sat in the confident way he had, waiting for the silence to spin out between them. And – as always – his tactic worked.
Severus sighed. "I thought that – if she stayed – "
"Yes, son?"
"– you wouldn't be my guardian any more! I know I'm being punished for thinking that!"
Albus chuckled softly, brushing the boy's hair out of his face. "And who would punish you?"
"I don't know – the god who punishes bad sons, I guess."
"But you're not a bad son, Severus."
More silence. A clover-scented breeze riffled their clothing and hair.
"I'm – not?"
"No, you're not. In fact, you gave her a very great gift. Do you know what that is?"
Sev gazed at Dumbledore. "Is it the gift of – freedom?"
The old wizard nodded.
Sev sighed again. "She sold the Manor because it reminded her of her awful marriage. And she liked being away from me because I look just like my awful father."
"Well, Severus, I'm not sure I would put it just that way," the Headmaster said. "But that's the general idea."
Sev began to cry again, covering his face with his hands. "Why do I have to look like him, anyway?" he sobbed. "Why can't I get away from him like she has?"
Dumbledore placed his hand over the boy's hands. "Calm down, my child. It was once told to me that I looked like my Great Aunt Enid. And I vow and pledge to you that at the time I thought her to be the ugliest woman on Earth."
Severus laughed from beneath his hands.
"Of course, I suppose she really wasn't after all," Dumbledore continued. "But the comment made quite an impression on me. For years I squinted into mirrors, hoping like mad that I wouldn't see Great Aunt Enid!"
He squeezed Sev's hands and gently brought them off his face.
"I suppose things could be worse," the boy sighed, looking into Dumbledore's kind blue eyes.
"Things could be a lot worse. For example, you might have died from that poison, Severus – and you would have died without the gift of being comforted by a good many people, and helped by a good many more."
Sev pushed himself up and wrapped his arms around his bent legs, sighing into the breeze. "I would never have belonged to you, either," he said in a choked voice. He dropped his face onto his knees.
"No, you wouldn't," the old wizard agreed. "And now it appears that I will get to learn how to be a mother as well as father to you!"
Sev looked up at him, surprised and blinking through his tears. Then he saw his mentor smile, and returned it.
Dumbledore pulled him into a huge hug, then tousled the Slytherin boy's hair and watched him run off to join his friends in a friendly game of Quidditch.