The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z-Semester 2

Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.

A/N: Yo all! I am going insane; it is official. I am seeing and hearing things. If anyone spots doctors in white heading my way, be sure to say you've never heard of a 'BananaGirl', or that you think she got attacked by rabid sponges and died. Thanks in advance! Oh, I've mentioned Bardock in this chapter and he'll make an appearance in a later chapter.

            I'm sure you've all heard of the wonderful author that is J'dee, yeah? But did you know she is multi-talented? Yep, it is true; we now have an official reason to hate her- because she is better than all of us (well, most of us anyway). She drew Yoli and Nadia, complete with spiffy captions! Wanna see, nevermind, of course you wanna see! Here's the URL's (once again, she shows her multi-talentness by uploading them. Grrr, I wanna infect her with ma hate juice now);

http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/jdee/Nadia.jpg



http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/jdee/Yoli.jpg

            Anywho, this author's note is becoming more like a whole chapter so I will leave. Just a word of warning, the chapter may be a little…screwy, mainly because I have a play list from Blink 182's 'Adam's Song' to Bowling 4 Soup's 'Girl All The Bad Guys Want'. Hmm-interesting lyrics in both of them, so if I talk about un-plugged phones, spilt apple juice, two-ways or growing a moustache, just blame it on the sponges.

            "Hello Vegeta, what brings you here?" A whiney voice greeted the Saiyan Prince.

            "How many times, damnit? It's 'Prince Vegeta'!" Vegeta shoved DA into the room. "She seems to be…broken."

            "Broken?" The short, balding figure in a nurse's uniform asked, looking at DA in confusion.

            "Yes, broken! Ask her what day it is!"

            "What day is it?" The short figure asked.

            "Wow! You're Babidi! How cool? This is so cool!" DA exclaimed, breaking out of her trance.

            "She seems fine to me. A new recruit, I assume? They're normally this happy to begin with. Give it a couple of weeks, then she'll go into the depressive, smart-ass mode that all the students acquire." Babidi informed.

            "Hmph. The baka kept repeating herself earlier." Vegeta folded his arms.

            "Hi, I'm DA." DarkAngel looked up at Vegeta and her eyes glazed over again.

            "There, she did it again!" Vegeta pointed an accusing finger at her. "What colour is my spandex?" (A/N: OMG…mental image coming through.)

            "Hi. I'm DA." DarkAngel remained the same, except her eyes seemed to grow larger and she emitted an inaudible sigh when he mentioned 'spandex'.

            "Hmmm, peculiar." Babidi mused, straightening his nurse's uniform of crinkles. "What's your name?" He asked DarkAngel.

            "DarkAngel, what's it to you? Oh, and I thought you totally sucked. You were hardly in DragonBall Z and when you were your voice was so annoying!" DarkAngel snapped, looking down at the wizard.

            "She seems fine to me." Babidi huffed.

            "Damnit, brat, stop acting crazy!" Vegeta shook DarkAngel to try and knock some sense into her.

            "Hi. I'm DA." DA replied, once seeing Vegeta again.

            "It seems she's…obsessed with you." Babidi took some notes.

            "Another one?" Vegeta demanded.

            "Yes, I do believe this is the three hundred and sixty fifth student you've brought in with this condition." Babidi mused. "None of the other teachers have had this problem, although Bardock is acquiring some students who seem to think he's Goku and have gone into a state of disillusion when told 'Get lost or I'll go Saiyan on your ass'." Babidi informed.

            "Well, it's only natural that they'd be obsessed with me. I am the Prince of all Saiya-jins." Vegeta boasted.

            "Hi. I'm DA." DarkAngel gave a faint smile.

            "But that is annoying!" Vegeta scowled.

            "Try insulting her, that usually works for you." Babidi offered.

            "Listen, you pathetic weakling, stop your snivelling and come with me, you've got assembly in five minutes! It's totally understandable that you're taken with me, as I am the Saiya-jin Prince, but you better move your fat ass before I…"

            "Hey, my ass is not fat you big-headed asshole! Just because your incredibly gorgeous does not mean you should know it! Some people!" DarkAngel shook her head in disgust.

            "She's fixed, lets go." Vegeta smirked, turning on his heel and exiting the office. "Keep up!"

            "It's OK, I'll follow behind." DA replied, turning her head to decide which was the best angle to view his spandex-clad butt.

~*~

            "This is the house. His name is S'rac." Goku informed the three agents.

            "Uh…what do we do exactly?" Washu asked.

            "Well, the agents awoke me from a very nice dream involving my beloved Juunana-gou, and I don't mean the cloud either." SeaStorm commented, still bitter about the agent's rude arrival.

            "Well I was in the middle of eating creampuffs and reading a very interesting lemon!" Jeril stated.

            "I guess we just go through the window." Goku said absent-mindedly, still caught up in his GameBoy.

            "Sounds fun to me!" Washu grinned, as the three agents crashed through a window.

            "I think we were supposed to go through his window!" Goku said, looking around the nursery.

            "Oooo, I got a new playmate!" A four-year old girl said, standing up and shakily walking over to Goku. "Hi mister, what's your name?"

            "Son Goku." Goku smiled at the girl.

            "Uh…Goku, the new recruit?" Washu reminded Goku, as did Jeril with a smack upside his head.

            "Ow! What was that for?" Goku demanded, rubbing his head.

            "Dunno, it just looked fun." Jeril shrugged her shoulders.

            "Wanna help me build a house with my building bricks?" The girl pulled on Goku's pants.

            "What happene…" A teenage boy came running into the room in his underwear, his hair ruffled, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw the four strangers.

            "Uh…hi." SeaStorm waved at the boy. "What do we do now?" She whispered to the others.

            "Hiya! We're from the University of DragonBall Z. Wanna come join us? We have some…uh…crumpled leaflets here that you must fill in and be truthful 'cos bad things will happen. Just ask Jeril here!" Washu pointed to Jeril, oblivious of the boy's blue eyes darting around the room for the heaviest object he could find.

            "I can't right now, I've got to work." Goku said to the girl, a little reluctantly.

            "Hey, isn't that…GOKU!" The boy stared wide-eyed at the anime character.

            "Heehee, that's me." Goku grinned.

            "Anywho, as my friend was saying, you gotta come 'cos it's great! Goku, Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Buu, Cell, they're all teachers there! It's really, really cool! Just fill these out and a cloud will be here shortly to take you there!" Jeril said.

            "A…cloud?" The boy spoke for the first time.

            "Uh huh! Kinda like Nimbus, but they talk and insist their name is Dave!" SeaStorm looked pointedly at her cloud.

            "But I am called Dave, you freak!" Her cloud shot back.          

            "See!"

            "Your cloud…it can…talk." The boy stated.

            "Yep, and knit!" Jeril added. "So just fill these out. You've gotta enrol 'cos otherwise you won't be able to write DragonBall Z fics and that'd simply suck 'cos well…it just would."

            "Um…OK." S'rac took the enrolment papers from Jeril's outstretched hand and thanked her.

            "No problems, S'rac! See ya at the University in five hours!" SeaStorm said. "Oh and ya might wanna get some clothes on."

            "Hey, I just woke up!" S'rac defended himself.

            "Oh, right. Did I wake you from a good dream? That happened to me. Sucks, don't it? Anyways, we better get going. Bye!" SeaStorm said, as the four flew back from where they came.

            "O…K." S'rac rubbed his head in confusion and looked down at the papers. "Asexual? What the hell?"

~*~

            "Hi, I'm looking for a book on how to kill Saiyans. Do you know where I can find them?" A girl asked the librarian.

            "Um…in the back somewhere. How should I know?" The librarian asked haughtily, going back to drawing a picture of Mirai Trunks.

            "Maybe because you're the librarian?" The girl shot back.

            "Ugh, don't remind me." The librarian shuddered. "Like my picture?" The librarian held up a picture of Mirai Trunks and herself getting married.

            "Um…yeah, very nice." The girl said, starting to walk away.

            "I know! It goes with my others!" The librarian showed the girl a scrapbook of various pictures, all featuring herself and Mirai Trunks. One was of them kissing, one was at someone's birthday party, one was of Mirai Trunks holding the librarian whilst flying and one was…well, let's just say if I told you I'd have to up the rating of this fic to NC-17.

            "Right…" The girl hurried off to the back of the library, where she picked out five books that promised to tell you how to kill a Saiyan. "Soon Goku, soon." The girl sat at a table and rubbed her hands together gleefully. "Hmm, this seems like a perfect time for an evil cackle." The girl looked around and took a deep breath."Muwhahahahahahahahahahaha."

A/N2: Oooooooooo, a murder mystery in OFUD! Oh, and so you know, that librarian is my sister O.o She keeps begging me to put her in, so hopefully now she'll shut the hell up and lemme get on with ma writing!