Sapphire sat up in the bed, the covers pulled up to her chin. It was four in the morning and she couldn't sleep. She glanced to her right and watched him sleep next to her, but it felt like they were a world apart.

It was her own fault for going home with him. She'd tried to resist, rejecting his advances for weeks, but eventually she gave in, the way everyone knew she would. It was no secret that she had been infatuated with Randy Orton for a while, and when he started noticing her she couldn't help but fall for his charms.

His snoring grew louder again. Drink always did that to guys. Lightly she put her hand on his chest and gently shook, trying to get him to stop, but as usual, it did very little to solve the problem.

"That's it," she muttered. "I'm going home."

She swung her legs round and let them dangle off the end of the bed for a minute. She had drunk a lot herself and it was making her head spin. Just as she bent over to pick up her shirt, she felt something wrap round her waist tightly and stay there. Unable to do anything, she allowed him to pull her back so she was once again lying next to him. His arm remained like a vice round her waist as she sighed and resigned herself to a night of no sleep.

As she lay there, she went over the night's events in her head. He had been in the bar when she got there, and he had stayed by her side the whole night, joking and flirting with her, making it seem like they were the only two people in the place. And when they actually were the last two left they walked home together, where he had invited her in. She didn't even give it a second thought, it just felt like the right thing to do. And when he had kissed her the first time, it felt like she was going to explode with happiness. It really felt like it was going to go well for once.

But when things moved into the bedroom it started to go downhill quickly. To start with they were both pretty clumsy after all the drink they had knocked back, so they were tripping over as they tried to undress and kept slipping. And to ice the cake, Randy had drunk too much and couldn't perform, so that put the brakes on any plans for sexual gratification. Instead, he fell asleep and began snoring very loudly, leaving Sapphire unfulfilled, drunk, tired and unable to sleep.

The next thing Sapphire realised it was morning. She looked over and saw that Randy was staring at her. "What?" She asked, giving a small, slightly nervous smile.

"Nothing," he replied, smiling back. "Man, I don't want to get out of bed."

"Me neither."

He pulled her close to him. "Let's stay here a bit longer then."

She lay in his arms for half an hour before he decided he really did have to get up and go to work. She watched him search the mess on the floor for his clothes and eventually pulled back the covers and did the same. When they were both dressed, he led her through to his back door and looked down at her.

"I had a good time last night," he murmured softly, gazing into her eyes.

"Me too," Sapphire replied, biting her lip. "I guess I'll see you around."

It was raining lightly as she walked home, although it felt like her feet never touched the ground. Despite the mishaps, the previous night hadn't been all bad. She had still gone home with Randy Orton, a man she had liked for too long and he hadn't been nasty in the morning. Things looked like they could go well.

A few weeks later, Sapphire's opinion had dramatically changed. Randy wasn't answering her messages and when she saw him in the bar, he would try to avoid talking to her or even making eye contact. And when she tried to ask him what she had done to make him behave like that, he told her to stop feeling sorry for herself and grow up. She felt emotionally raped. How could he be like this? After the affection he had shown and the way he had been the morning after, how could he be so cold? But the next night, he was speaking to her like nothing had happened and she was relieved. And when he once again asked her to go home with him, she said yes, partly wanting to finish what they had started before and partly just to be close to him again.

But this time it was different. Randy was distant and uninterested in her. All he had wanted was to satisfy his own need and as soon as he had done that, he pretended to fall asleep, hoping Sapphire would get the hint. He showed none of the warmth or niceness he had before, instead it felt like he was deliberately going out of his way to be the opposite.

Sapphire felt lower than she had in her whole life. She had thrown herself at a guy and all she had got was quick, bad sex that had left her feeling used and unsatisfied. The walk home that night seemed like an epic journey, and Sapphire wanted to cry the whole way.

You did this to yourself, a voice in her head scolded her. It's your own fault, so don't you dare act like the victim.

That made Sapphire want to cry even more. She had done it to herself. She had run back like a fool and basically allowed him to behave the way he did.

"I'm not a bimbo!" She yelled to the clouds. "So why did I act like one?"

She couldn't answer. She didn't know. She still doesn't. But she still gets upset when he insults or ignores her. Part of her still wants to be with him, even though he manhandles her in front of other people, or he calls her a freak. She still gets angry, when she knows in her head that he is ignorant and he doesn't know how to be any other way and she shouldn't expect miracles. She tries to move on, but she still gets caught up in his mind games and they break her spirit, making her feel an inch tall and like shit on his shoe. And she still finds herself making excuses to go and see him, then leaves before anything can happen. She doesn't know what she wants, but part of her is holding onto the hope that Randy Orton can one day change and love her.