© Ariana Veelagrace and Clara Maplewood, year 2000-2001

(A/N): I haven't done a disclaimer in a LONG time, so here's an overdue one:


Disclaimer: I own Chrissy, Chantel, Professor Lollio, Juno, Eurydice, Amelia, Mr. Potter (he DID exist, but not entirely as I portrayed him), Mrs. Black, (same as with Mr. Potter), and several other little quirks of the tale. :O)



Lily

Chapter 44


 

James walked as though he was in a trance, wondering why Voldemort would have ever wanted to kill Amelia and her parents. What use would it be? They were from an age-old wizarding family, so it couldn't have been the usual reason: that Voldemort just liked killing muggles, to have the pleasure of watching them die. There was no reason that possibly occured to James as to what fault Voldemort could have found with the Blacks. Amelia had been really close to Lily...could that have had anything to do with it?

"Chartreuse," James muttered distractedly to the Fat Lady. She swung open, and he walked through the portrait hole and up the stairs. He knocked on the dormitory door. "Sirius?" He could hear a sound coming from inside, one that sounded like crying. "Sirius, open the door." He rattled the knob, but it was locked. He squinted, trying to remember the right charm as he took out his wand. "Er...Talamora." The door didn't move. "Alamora?" Nothing.  "Alhomora? Oh, yes...Alohomora." The door opened, thankfully, and James walked in.

"You know, there's a reason why people lock doors!" Sirius wasn't sitting on his bed, as James had thought, but on the window ledge.

"Sirius! Get down from there!"

"Which way?" his friend said in a low, bitter voice. "I can climb down into the room, stick around and wait everything out, or I could just...lean forward and let go." He laughed with a nervous sort of realization. "It's really not that hard. I mean, what else is there?"

"God, Sirius. You know what I mean, come back into the room."

"But why? What IS there for me?" Sirius hesitantly picked up one of his hands and put it on the side of the windowpane, with his back to James. "It's really incredible, that one person can get so much just taken away like that. Who told Voldemort that he could..." He stopped, his voice choked by tears, but kept talking with more confidence after a slight pause. "I dunno. Reckon I'm jinxed? Better get away fast, James, or you'll be going down next." He had a kind of half-smile on his face, as though he really thought he was jinxed.

James, however, had no traces of a smile on his face. "Okay, this isn't funny anymore.  Get down from there!" He crossed the room and grabbed Sirius's wrist, only to be shaken off quickly.

"You know, I don't think you're ever going to learn. When I came up here, I locked the door. That usually means that I want to be left alone, but you didn't get it. So let me spell it out for you. Leave. Me. Alone." Sirius put his other hand on the other side of the window.

James started backing up to the door. "Look, I under-"

"Don't say you understand, just leave. All right?"

"Why don't you want to talk to anyone?"

"Why? Why do you think? Hmm, let's see!" Sirius's voice filled with tears rapidly. "My father? Dead, killed by Voldemort. My mother? Dead, killed by Voldemort. My sister?  Dead, killed by Voldemort because she knew something. And the one time, the one time that I thought things were going well with someone, that girl, who HAPPENED to be Voldemort's daughter, was suddenly killed by someone working for Voldemort. What would you want to do
if the four most important people in your life were gone? Put a smile on your face, keep on going like nothing was wrong? Or...what's the quickest way out, the quickest escape from here, James?"

"Okay, I'm not leaving now, not after that."

"Is it going to make any difference? Do you really think that you being here is going to stop me?"

James sat down on his bed and crossed his arms. "Yes."

"You are being such an idiot! Why won't you just let me be?"

"Because I've known you ever since we were a month old, Sirius. We're like brothers, and I don't think you really understand what it would do to me, to Lily, to Remus, to Peter, to anyone...if you jumped out of that window. You must've figured it out by now that the only reason this happened was that Amelia was really close with Lily, right? You-know-who is always trying to get at Lily, any way he can. Listen to me. If you kill yourself over this, Lily's never going to forgive herself." James stood up and walked out. Before closing the door, he said, "Think about that. Think about how awful you feel...and think about everyone you know feeling that awful if you went through with this."

James walked out and closed the door behind him. He had gone halfway down the stairs when something inside him said, "I just left Sirius sitting on a window ledge, about to jump out.  What am I thinking?!?!?" He turned around, ran back to the room, and tore the door open, only to find Sirius closing the curtains.

"How did I know you'd be back?" The icy winter sunlight painted white-and-grey splashes of pain across Sirius's face. "You can't keep in your own business, can you? But then, if you could keep in your own business, you wouldn't have stopped me from jumping out that window, so I shouldn't complain. Or should I?" He questioned bitterly.




The fireplace crackled merrily as fragments of sparks and embers spurted in all directions.  The proud beat of the ancient clock could be heard, gonging and ringing as time neared midnight.

Disturbed and upset, Lily cradled a fluffy blanket with her left hand, and clutched a pillow securely in the other. Her hair lay limply on her shoulders as she softly descended the staircase.

She neared the maroon couch longingly, as if praying she would be able to get some sleep.  Her plans were interrupted as a whisper reached her sleepy ears, "Couldn't sleep? Me neither."