The Official Fanfiction University Of DragonBall Z-Semester 2

Disclaimer: This is based loosely on Camilla Sandman's fiction 'The Official Fanfiction University Of Middle-Earth' with her permission. I do not own any DragonBall Z characters mentioned in this fic.

A/N: Hey everyone! This is to all the people who emailed me; 'its just porn, mum' is the title of a song, and it was playing at the time so I just felt like shouting it out ^_^ Anywho, on with Chapter 48!

            "Heh…sorry, Goku." DarkAngel looked up at the menacing figure looming over them, grease dripping off of him.

            "I am Bardock. Really, it's not that hard."

            "Oh, sorry Bardock." DA apologised, smiling sheepishly.

            "Yeah, you look so much like that fool, Kakkarot, that we thought…" Yoli started.

            "Just insult the guy's son, nice one." Nadia hissed.

            "Grrr." Bardock emitted a low growl, then grabbed Yoli, Nadia and DA by their collars and hefted them out of the cafeteria.

            "Hey, Sarya!" Yoli called. "Hey, what are you doing with that?"

            "Doing everyone a favour by getting rid of Goku!" Sarya looked at Bardock and smirked.

            "Damnit, why is it so hard? I have a scar for crying out loud!" Bardock rolled his eyes, dropping the three students in the process.

            "Stop making excuses, Goku, I'm not an idiot." Sarya took two bottles of the fizzy, pink liquid from her pockets and de-capped them.

            "What the hell is that?" Bardock narrowed his eyes.

            "Looks like cherryade to me, num!" Yoli grinned from where she was sat on the floor with DA and Nadia.

            "Well, it's not." Sarya said bluntly. "This, my friends, is the best substance ever. It is deadly to Saiyans."

            "As in…kill deadly or gastric stomach pains deadly?" Nadia asked.

            "Kill Goku, kill Goku, kill Goku, kill Goku." Sarya chanted, approaching Bardock with the substance.

            "Hey, my friend asked you a question!" Yoli complained.

            "Yoli," Nadia looked at her friend "I get it. She wants to kill Kakkarot."

            "Then whats the problem? No one likes him!"

            "Except the hoards of Kakkarot fans." DA offered.

            "And the fact that she thinks Bardock is Kakkarot." Nadia added.

            "My God, Burenda will kill me if she kills Bardock, or even worse, not do my homework for me! Move it!" Yoli stood up quickly, intent on disarming Sarya.

            "Die Goku, DIE!" Sarya wailed, throwing the bright pink substance over Bardock.

            "Is this supposed to be doing something?" Bardock asked, opening his eyes after a couple of minutes.

            "Well…technically, your body should've dissolved and I should be dancing to the wails of horror you should be emitting." Sarya narrowed her eyes. "Why the fuck aren't you wailing?"

            "Wow, it's pink, yet there's no wailing. I usually find the two go hand-in-hand." Nadia commented.

            "Nooooooooooooo!" Yoli wailed, tackling Sarya to the ground with a loud 'oof'.

            "Yoli, you're late. Even if the damn thing worked, Bardock would be dead now." Nadia rolled her eyes.

            "He's not dead? That means I don't have to do my own homework? Once again, the world is saved by the gorgeous, intelligent, fearless Yoli!" Yoli grinned, taking on a 'holier-than-thee' pose.

            "I can't believe it didn't work! I knew I shouldn't have replaced the frogs' legs with baking soda." Sarya shook her head and walked away, mumbling about the prices of frogs' legs these days.

            "O…K. Well, follow me you three. Punishment time." Bardock grinned evilly.

            "Eh? Dude, I just saved your life!" Yoli complained. "And I mean 'dude' with the utmost respect for your status and leadership." She quickly added.

            "One; you couldn't save anyone's life even if you wanted to and two; I wasn't under threat from a female teenager obsessed with killing my son and some pink water." Bardock insisted, directing the three to Piccolo's AKA 'the master of punishment's' office.

            "No, not Piccolo!" Nadia whined. "But he makes us write realistic stories!"

            "What?" DarkAngel gasped in horror.

            "No original characters, no unusual couplings and no…no…" Yoli burst into tears.

            "There, there." Nadia comforted her friend.

            "No what?" DA was afraid to ask.

            "Lemons." Nadia said, causing Yoli to burst into more tears.

            "Have fun." Bardock said, leaving the three terrified girls waiting outside the office.

            "Not you two again. What's this, you've corrupted a fellow student?" Piccolo looked at DA.

            "Nope, I was corrupted before meeting them!" DA stated proudly.

            "Yup, she's like a second arm or leg…except she isn't." Yoli looked confused at her own comment.

            "Great." Piccolo muttered, then a light bulb flashed above his head and he grinned widely, showing his sharp canines.

            "Ooooo, a light bulb! Can I touch it?" Nadia asked, reaching out.

            "No!" Piccolo barked, causing Nadia to snatch back her arm. "Come in, come in."

            "You sound happy, Piccolo. Whats wrong?" DA asked, seriously concerned.

            "Nothing." Piccolo said breezily, causing the three girls to gulp as they sat at their desks.

            "So…whats on the agenda today? Write an action story with actual fight scenes in?" Nadia asked, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

            "Yeah, hurry up so we can get on with the torture. Mr Piccolo, green Namek, sir." Yoli quickly added.

            "How would you girls feel about writing a lemon?" Piccolo smirked as the girls' faces faulted.

            "OK Piccolo, stop screwing with us." Nadia rolled her eyes.

            "I'm not. Which couplings would you care to write about? A different one each time, please. Oh, no original characters, though."

            "Uh…I'll take Vegeta/Bulma." Nadia grinned. "Hey, I can pretend its me!"

            "Oooo, can I do a Gohan/Piccolo?" Yoli asked hopefully.

            "A…a…a…what?" Piccolo demanded.

            "Nevermind. I'll do Gohan/Mirai Trunks instead."

            "And I'll do…ah…um, Eighteen/Krillan." DA said.

            "Very well. You have an hour." Piccolo smirked as he gave out sheets of paper.

            "Oh yeah, gotta love the bonding plot." Nadia smiled, as she began to scribble down a lemon.

~*~ (An hour later)

            "All finished to satisfaction?" Piccolo asked sweetly, his voice dripping with honey. (A/N: Scary thought!)

            "Yep." The three girls chorused, handing in their signed work.

            "Good." Piccolo shifted through the hot and kinky lemons, smirking. "Now, we'll be off to the staff room for your punishment."

            "Eh?" Yoli asked loudly.

            "Uh…wasn't that our punishment?" DA asked naively.

            "Yeah, it was sooooooo horrible!" Nadia feigned.

            "No, I believe Vegeta, Bulma, Gohan, Mirai Trunks, Eighteen and Krillan are there right now, waiting to hear your masterpieces read out by the authors themselves!" Piccolo smirked. Oh, he's good.

            "Fuck, I'm dead." Nadia cursed her fruitiness.

            "Uh…mine wasn't so much a lemon, it was more like a lemon tree…"

            "But in mine they overcome Krillan's impotence!" DA wailed.