Author's Note: A Mongolian cluster-fuck (the title of the chapter) is basically when everything goes completely bonkers and wrong all in a very small time frame. This chapter is an example of a Mongolian cluster-fuck.

Disclaimer: Jack, Norrington, Will, and Liz aren't mine...and a few other characters mentioned aren't either...Well...Jack IS mine...he just hasn't awaken from the chloroform yet... Venice, Damian, Mr. Anderson, Steve, and Bruce are mine, and Dunkin' Donuts is not. There...I think I have it all cleared up.

Also, there's some French in the beginning and I haven't practiced my grammer in a while, so if it's wrong or I used the wrong word or something, just drop a review or an email.

Xw0kenn0wX- huge thanks for the cute review. . . I came back just so I could get your reviews! You better like my story and laugh at it ::grabs watergun and points it at her head:: OR ELSE. . .

All my other reviewers, past and present: Thanks a bunches. "Bullshit, asshole. Part de ma soeur." (get away from my sister)

Anderson turned around, nearly tripping over Norrington's body. He grinned maliciously. "Ah, Guy. . ." (pronounced Gee) "Vous ne parlez pas l'anglais pourtant ?" (Do you speak english yet?) He mocked Damian.

"Oui." (Yes)

"Alors pourquoi parler en français?" (Then why speak in French?)

"It's prettier." Damian grinned. Jack giggled. . . not because he understood a word of French but because he thought Mr. Anderson reminded him of the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

"Who's your boyfriend, Guy?" Mr. Anderson teased, gesturing to Jack.

Will suddenly grew enraged. He burst out from behind Venice, who also stood in front of a very confused Liz.

Running around the hands of the two larger men, he confronted Mr. Anderson and snarled, "Damian is MY boyfriend, not Jack's, and that's never going to change! Why does everyone think JACK AND DAMIAN are together! What the Hell! Am I right, Damian?"

Will, expecting Damian's reassurance behind him, was stunned by the silence. Mr. Anderson chuckled.

Venice, eyebrow raised, idly wondered where crickets were when you needed them.

Will turned away from Mr. Anderson to face his lover. "Damian. . . I'm right, right? You love me?" Silence. "Damian?"

Mr. Anderson kicked him in the back. "Do shut up you insolent mortal sinner, you." Will fell forward, unconscious.

Liz squeaked Will's name and fell to her knees. Venice looked around. "Ok, what the fuck is going on?"

Damian looked uneasy. "Venice, I don't think this is the time. . ."

"WELL WHEN IS THE TIME THEN, DAMIAN?"

Ready to come back with a quick retort, Damian opened his mouth only to be cut off by Jack, who said, "I'm just waiting for bloody Jerry Springer to walk in!"

"Maury's better," Mr. Anderson said simply.

"What?!?!" Jack looked flabbergasted.

"You heard me, you little gaywad. Maury's better."

"Jack's not gay!" Venice said.

Liz piped in with, "He's not?"

"NO!" Will and Venice said simultaneously.

"Maury? How is Maury better than Jerry?"

Damian smacked his head. "What the fuck."

Norrington woke up at the word 'fuck', and scolded Damian for his language.

"But I'm not in school!"

"It's not proper, Mr. Sapde." Bruce whacked him, and Norrington went flying, landing unconscious again.

"THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Bruce, Steve, Get the girl and let's split." Mr. Anderson spat, walking out of the clearing.

"No way, fuckhead." Damian said as he pounced onto Mr. Anderson.

Mr. Anderson threw Damian off and stood up, suddenly wielding a gun. "Enough. Bruce, Steve, let's go."

The first of the two, Bruce, held Venice over his shoulder, where she was beating against his back furiously, demanding to be put down. Steve scratched his head.

"Why do you always say Bruce first? My name is never said first. . ."

"STEVE!" Anderson yelled.

"Ok. . ."

At the mercy of a gun, the three conscious remaining people could do nothing until their car drove away. Damian put Will's head onto his lap and cursed a bluestreak.

Will blinked himself into consciousness and smiled weakly at Damian. He sat up, then fell back into Damian's lap, his world spinning.

Focusing on Damian, he asked, "Do you love me, Damian?"

Damian nodded, tears in his eyes.

Meanwhile, Jack had straddled Norrington and was slapping him lightly on the face to wake him up. Overduing it a bit, Jack continued even after he saw Norrington's eyes open.

"Mr. . . Mr. Sparrow! Stop immediately!" He spat.

Jack grinned and sat on Norrington's chest.

"Mr. Sparrow, would you be so kind as to get off me?"

Jack's grin widened and he bent down, giving Norrington a wet kiss on the cheek before bouncing off of him. James Norrington felt himself blush, then got up stuttering.

He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Jack, who said, "Don't worry, Jimmy. You don't have to tell anyone you liked it."

Liz stared. Had Jack really just kissed Norrington? What about Venice? What about Damian? What about. . . What the hell!