CHAPTER 5 - NAERONEL
Uglakh looked at the misty mountains to the east as they travelled southward on Mayathir's motorcycle. The mountains seemed a neverending wall to him, and it distressed him that they were blocking the way to his home in Udun. Blocking the way to the ring. Worried thoughts were running through his head. What if someone were to break into his house, find the ring, and steal it? What if the people in this so-called "fellowship" were just going to take the ring from him when they got there and leave him dead in a ditch somewhere? Just one more dead orc, who would care? They just wanted his ring. His precious ring, those thieves!
The sound of a ringing cell phone brought Uglakh back to reality, and he realized how much his thoughts were being affected even at a distance from the ring.
Jimmy answered his phone. "Jimmy here."
Gandalf's voice responded, sounding more stressed than usual. "Where are you?"
"Somewhere on the highway south, by the misty mountains. Not sure where, the whole road looks kind of the same. Hey, you won't believe..."
"Get off the main roads immediately!" said Gandalf.
"Why?" asked Jimmy.
"Somebody knows about us. They were waiting at Nindamos harbor: two assassins, very well-trained. If I wasn't there Naeronel would have been killed. Whoever it is, they may be searching the main roads. It is of utmost importance that you keep a low profile."
"So we're not the only ones who ran into some crazy shit today."
"What do you mean?" asked Gandalf.
"Nazgul. Fucking Ringwraiths, black cloaks, swords and everything. Tried to decapitate us. Luckily our favourite elf arrived in the nick of time and saved our asses. Personally I would have preferred at least a minute or two BEFORE the nick of time but hey, I'm not complaining. It's just..."
"I might not be able to meet you in Udun. We lost our helicopter, and we're looking for an alternate form of transport. Once you have the ring, go to Lothlorien. Mayathir knows where exactly."
"All right, G."
Jimmy heard the phone being hung up rather quickly and loudly. He shrugged his shoulders.
"What was that?" asked Mayathir.
"We need to find another route to Udun. Gandalf thinks someone might be looking for us."
Mayathir brought the motorcycle to a stop. "I was afraid of that. I know a way that we can take where we will be nearly impossible to locate."
"Where is that?" asked Jimmy.
"We need to go through Moria."
Uglakh looked up in surprise. "Moria is real?"
Mayathir chuckled. "Damn, you're naive. I thought an orc would know about it for sure. Of course it's real. And it's right where the old books say it is, under the misty mountains." Mayathir turned the motorcycle around and started down the road the other way. "I know where the west entrance to it is."
"So rumors of Moria are true?" asked Uglakh. "Khazad-Dum also?"
"Yes," answered Mayathir. "Let's put it this way: if you got a large shipment of high-quality Shire-grown pipeweed and you want to ship it down to Mordor without getting busted by the cops, you take it through Moria. Most of the pipeweed traffic in Middle-earth is centralized in the city of Khazad-Dum, controlled by the three big organized crime groups."
"Do the police know about it?" asked Jimmy.
"Yep. But they aren't going to do anything about it. Half of the police force is working WITH the Khazad-Dum gangs for a cut in the profits."
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go through there? Sounds like a dangerous place to me."
"Don't worry about it. They're just like animals down there. Don't bother them, and they won't bother you."
-
Gandalf kicked open the door to Naeronel's apartment and entered with his gun drawn.
"It's clear." he said, waving Jeff and Naeronel in.
Naeronel shrugged. "So yeah. Welcome to my home. Sorry for the mess and the junk and stuff." she said, adjusting her glasses.
Jeff looked around the place, and it was indeed a mess. The floors and couches were covered with paper, books, strange electronic parts, and dirty laundry. Through a window on the other side, he could see the sides of two condominiums in the downtown area of Nindamos.
"So," Jeff said to Gandalf. "Am I on that 'need to know' list now? Who is she and why did they want to kill her?"
Gandalf paused a moment. "I don't know who is out to kill her, but as for her identity, I suppose I should tell you now. Whether we take four hours to explain everything depends on one question. Have you read through the Lord of the Rings?"
"Yes. Studied it in a mythology course in college."
"Not mythology. That stuff all happened. The ring is back and we're looking for it. Naeronel is part of the fellowship, chosen for her computer skills."
"What do computer skills have to do with this ring stuff?"
"Not much." answered Naeronel, obviously frustrated at the way they were talking about her as if she weren't in the room. "I was hired at Mithrandir for a contract job ten years ago, transferring a whole bunch of old dusty historical documents and stuff from Minas Tirith into a computer database system. Really long and boring work waiting for the scanners to get through everything, and there was lots of icky dust everywhere, but I got totally interested in it, and before I knew it Gandalf got me involved in this whole Fellowship thingy. Hey, you guys want a snack?"
"We're rather in a hurry." said Gandalf. "Let's get back to business. We need to get off this island, and in a way that nobody can track us."
"Yes. Right. Follow me." said Naeronel. They followed as she darted into her bedroom and knocked a pile of socks of her desk, revealing a computer. She flicked it on, and the loading screen of the Mithra 3.1 operating system appeared onscreen.
She turned to Gandalf. "Did you get that list of possible security exploits in Mithra 3.1 that I sent you?"
"The programmers have fixed the first two bugs for Mithra 4.0 already. We're having trouble tracing down the other ones though."
"Whatever. That's the problem. You do these big releases months apart giving hackers plenty of time to figure out how to break it. Open source, man. It's the only way to go. Ooh! It's finished loading."
"What's your plan?" asked Gandalf.
"How 'bout a nice Numenorean cruise?" said Naeronel.
Gandalf and Jeff were both momentarily confused. Naeronel giggled. "I see cruise ships come in and out of this harbor all the time. I just gotta get us on one heading to Middle-Earth and we'll be travelling there in style!"
Jeff shrugged. "Sounds as good an idea as ever. Not exactly low-profile, though."
"Not unless we hack into the cruise line's database and get us some free reservations under an assumed name. Check this out..."
Naeronel opened up a web browser and did a quick search to find Numenorean Star Cruise Lines' home page, and clicked into the on-line reservation section.
"This should be a... uh... Jeff, check your foot." she said.
Jeff looked down at his foot and found a pair of Naeronel's panties looped around it. He quickly shook them off and blushed.
"Sorry, this place is such a mess. I wasn't expecting anyone over." said Naeronel. "Anyway, This should be a pretty simple job. Just gotta open up my own special program here..."
She clicked on an icon in the lower-right corner of the screen, and a screen full of indecipherable numbers and characters showed up. Jeff strained to determine some kind of pattern or meaning on the screen but it was a pointless effort. Naeronel's fingers flew across the keyboard furiously.
"Aha! 128-bit encryption. I'll just get the codebreaker up and running... doo dee doo... bingo! Thought it would be more difficult than that... decipher the output... all right, we're in. What name should we go under?"
"Underhill." said Gandalf with a slight smile.
"Yay! We're the Underhill family!" she said, typing in some false names for them to use. "Okay, Gandalf, you're my Dad. Jeff, you're my husband."
Jeff smiled. "Wow, that was fast. I just met you."
"What can I say? You swept me off my feet. Anyway, we get off this rock tomorrow morning. Might as well sleep here tonight."
"Is this our honeymoon?" asked Jeff.
Naeronel laughed out loud. "In your dreams. You get the couch, buddy!"
Uglakh looked at the misty mountains to the east as they travelled southward on Mayathir's motorcycle. The mountains seemed a neverending wall to him, and it distressed him that they were blocking the way to his home in Udun. Blocking the way to the ring. Worried thoughts were running through his head. What if someone were to break into his house, find the ring, and steal it? What if the people in this so-called "fellowship" were just going to take the ring from him when they got there and leave him dead in a ditch somewhere? Just one more dead orc, who would care? They just wanted his ring. His precious ring, those thieves!
The sound of a ringing cell phone brought Uglakh back to reality, and he realized how much his thoughts were being affected even at a distance from the ring.
Jimmy answered his phone. "Jimmy here."
Gandalf's voice responded, sounding more stressed than usual. "Where are you?"
"Somewhere on the highway south, by the misty mountains. Not sure where, the whole road looks kind of the same. Hey, you won't believe..."
"Get off the main roads immediately!" said Gandalf.
"Why?" asked Jimmy.
"Somebody knows about us. They were waiting at Nindamos harbor: two assassins, very well-trained. If I wasn't there Naeronel would have been killed. Whoever it is, they may be searching the main roads. It is of utmost importance that you keep a low profile."
"So we're not the only ones who ran into some crazy shit today."
"What do you mean?" asked Gandalf.
"Nazgul. Fucking Ringwraiths, black cloaks, swords and everything. Tried to decapitate us. Luckily our favourite elf arrived in the nick of time and saved our asses. Personally I would have preferred at least a minute or two BEFORE the nick of time but hey, I'm not complaining. It's just..."
"I might not be able to meet you in Udun. We lost our helicopter, and we're looking for an alternate form of transport. Once you have the ring, go to Lothlorien. Mayathir knows where exactly."
"All right, G."
Jimmy heard the phone being hung up rather quickly and loudly. He shrugged his shoulders.
"What was that?" asked Mayathir.
"We need to find another route to Udun. Gandalf thinks someone might be looking for us."
Mayathir brought the motorcycle to a stop. "I was afraid of that. I know a way that we can take where we will be nearly impossible to locate."
"Where is that?" asked Jimmy.
"We need to go through Moria."
Uglakh looked up in surprise. "Moria is real?"
Mayathir chuckled. "Damn, you're naive. I thought an orc would know about it for sure. Of course it's real. And it's right where the old books say it is, under the misty mountains." Mayathir turned the motorcycle around and started down the road the other way. "I know where the west entrance to it is."
"So rumors of Moria are true?" asked Uglakh. "Khazad-Dum also?"
"Yes," answered Mayathir. "Let's put it this way: if you got a large shipment of high-quality Shire-grown pipeweed and you want to ship it down to Mordor without getting busted by the cops, you take it through Moria. Most of the pipeweed traffic in Middle-earth is centralized in the city of Khazad-Dum, controlled by the three big organized crime groups."
"Do the police know about it?" asked Jimmy.
"Yep. But they aren't going to do anything about it. Half of the police force is working WITH the Khazad-Dum gangs for a cut in the profits."
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go through there? Sounds like a dangerous place to me."
"Don't worry about it. They're just like animals down there. Don't bother them, and they won't bother you."
-
Gandalf kicked open the door to Naeronel's apartment and entered with his gun drawn.
"It's clear." he said, waving Jeff and Naeronel in.
Naeronel shrugged. "So yeah. Welcome to my home. Sorry for the mess and the junk and stuff." she said, adjusting her glasses.
Jeff looked around the place, and it was indeed a mess. The floors and couches were covered with paper, books, strange electronic parts, and dirty laundry. Through a window on the other side, he could see the sides of two condominiums in the downtown area of Nindamos.
"So," Jeff said to Gandalf. "Am I on that 'need to know' list now? Who is she and why did they want to kill her?"
Gandalf paused a moment. "I don't know who is out to kill her, but as for her identity, I suppose I should tell you now. Whether we take four hours to explain everything depends on one question. Have you read through the Lord of the Rings?"
"Yes. Studied it in a mythology course in college."
"Not mythology. That stuff all happened. The ring is back and we're looking for it. Naeronel is part of the fellowship, chosen for her computer skills."
"What do computer skills have to do with this ring stuff?"
"Not much." answered Naeronel, obviously frustrated at the way they were talking about her as if she weren't in the room. "I was hired at Mithrandir for a contract job ten years ago, transferring a whole bunch of old dusty historical documents and stuff from Minas Tirith into a computer database system. Really long and boring work waiting for the scanners to get through everything, and there was lots of icky dust everywhere, but I got totally interested in it, and before I knew it Gandalf got me involved in this whole Fellowship thingy. Hey, you guys want a snack?"
"We're rather in a hurry." said Gandalf. "Let's get back to business. We need to get off this island, and in a way that nobody can track us."
"Yes. Right. Follow me." said Naeronel. They followed as she darted into her bedroom and knocked a pile of socks of her desk, revealing a computer. She flicked it on, and the loading screen of the Mithra 3.1 operating system appeared onscreen.
She turned to Gandalf. "Did you get that list of possible security exploits in Mithra 3.1 that I sent you?"
"The programmers have fixed the first two bugs for Mithra 4.0 already. We're having trouble tracing down the other ones though."
"Whatever. That's the problem. You do these big releases months apart giving hackers plenty of time to figure out how to break it. Open source, man. It's the only way to go. Ooh! It's finished loading."
"What's your plan?" asked Gandalf.
"How 'bout a nice Numenorean cruise?" said Naeronel.
Gandalf and Jeff were both momentarily confused. Naeronel giggled. "I see cruise ships come in and out of this harbor all the time. I just gotta get us on one heading to Middle-Earth and we'll be travelling there in style!"
Jeff shrugged. "Sounds as good an idea as ever. Not exactly low-profile, though."
"Not unless we hack into the cruise line's database and get us some free reservations under an assumed name. Check this out..."
Naeronel opened up a web browser and did a quick search to find Numenorean Star Cruise Lines' home page, and clicked into the on-line reservation section.
"This should be a... uh... Jeff, check your foot." she said.
Jeff looked down at his foot and found a pair of Naeronel's panties looped around it. He quickly shook them off and blushed.
"Sorry, this place is such a mess. I wasn't expecting anyone over." said Naeronel. "Anyway, This should be a pretty simple job. Just gotta open up my own special program here..."
She clicked on an icon in the lower-right corner of the screen, and a screen full of indecipherable numbers and characters showed up. Jeff strained to determine some kind of pattern or meaning on the screen but it was a pointless effort. Naeronel's fingers flew across the keyboard furiously.
"Aha! 128-bit encryption. I'll just get the codebreaker up and running... doo dee doo... bingo! Thought it would be more difficult than that... decipher the output... all right, we're in. What name should we go under?"
"Underhill." said Gandalf with a slight smile.
"Yay! We're the Underhill family!" she said, typing in some false names for them to use. "Okay, Gandalf, you're my Dad. Jeff, you're my husband."
Jeff smiled. "Wow, that was fast. I just met you."
"What can I say? You swept me off my feet. Anyway, we get off this rock tomorrow morning. Might as well sleep here tonight."
"Is this our honeymoon?" asked Jeff.
Naeronel laughed out loud. "In your dreams. You get the couch, buddy!"