Chapter 15: Memories
They were the only people in the Common Room. The trio had fallen asleep; Ron was stretched out in a chair, head hanging over the arm of the chair, mouth slightly hanging open. Harry and Hermione were sitting on a couch, Harry's arm around his fiancé, while she leaned her head on his shoulder. They held each other close, deep in slumber. The only two that were still awake were the twins. Blake tried falling asleep, but to no luck. Lily hadn't attempted to fall asleep, there was too much on her mind. While her brother kept moving from couch to chair to floor to try and get comfortable, Lily sat in a chair, feet up, watching her parents sleep. Many thoughts crossed her mind. Thoughts about what her life could be like when they returned to the future, memories of growing up, and stories she and Blake were always told, by Ron, Remus, Lavender, all the Weasleys, and very rarely, their parents. She closed her eyes, and a conversation between her godfather and herself came to mind. She was thirteen, and was sitting out on the patio of their house, after listening to an argument between her parents, somehow pulling Ron and her into it. She had heard her mother tell her father that it was all his fault for the way things were, things would've been different if only Blake and Lily never were born. Ron had come out to join her, and talk with her. She remembered it like it was yesterday. It was when she found out that she and Blake were important to their mother and father.
"Hey." Lily looked up and saw her godfather standing in the doorway. She replied,
"Hey."
"Mind if I sit down?" Lily shook her head and Ron sat down next to her on a lawn chair. He said,
"Don't take it to heart what your mum and dad say to each other."
"Well, it's kind of hard not to, when you've just heard from your own mother's mouth that she wishes you were never born."
"Hermione doesn't think that."
"Then why did she say it?"
"Listen, you have the sort of parents where two of them exist. You have the Hermione Granger, the mother and wife, and you have Hermione Granger, who resents your father for tying her down, when she knows that it's just as much her fault as Harry's. With your dad it's Harry Potter, the father and husband, and Harry Potter, the man who hated being tied down at seventeen, and wishes he could fulfill some of the dreams he used to have."
"No offense, Ron, but you're not making me feel any better."
"I know, I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it. Ok, you think that your parents don't love you, correct?"
"Correct?" Lily said, unsure of where her godfather was going with this.
"Well, that's all rubbish."
"What, that they don't love us?"
"Right. Because if you knew how much deep down they love you, you'd be surprised."
"Like how?"
"Well, for instance, you know that you were born at the time of the defeat of You-Know-Who, right?"
"Right."
"Well, Harry knew he had to leave to go risk his life to save the wizarding world, but do you know what his primary reason for risking his life was?"
"What?"
"You and Blake. He told me later that when he was fighting with Voldemort, when he thought it was the end, that he would die, what kept him going was knowing that he had to live to come home and raise you and your brother- with your mother." He added as an afterthought. Lily said,
"So, deep down, they both love us?"
"Let me ask you this, how could anyone not love something that's part of them? How could a parent not love their child? Yes, Lily, deep down they love you, even if they don't say it always."
"Well I wish they'd say it every once in a while."
"Well, we can't have everything I guess." Lily looked at her parents and thought, there'd be a better chance of them having a better relationship, for from the stories she had heard about Harry and Hermione and how they were before the night that changed everything.
"Ron, tell me what Mum and Dad were like when they were younger." A four- year-old Lily asked her godfather one day.
"Well, what do you want to know about them?"
"Everything."
"Where should I start?"
"Hmm, where they met."
"Well, it was on the train to Hogwarts our first year. Your dad and I were in a compartment, pigging out on the snacks and sweets we had bought. First, a boy named Neville came in looking for his toad that he lost. We told him we hadn't seen it, and he left. Later, your mother came in, with this bossy air to her voice and asked us whether we had seen the toad. We told her we hadn't, and it just so happened that I had had my wand out, preparing to do a spell that Fred gave me. She saw my wand, and added to my nervousness by having her watch me. The spell was a dud, though, and when it didn't work, Hermione went into this long speech about how it couldn't have been a real spell, and how she had already learned some simple spells, and they had all worked for her. Your dad and I couldn't wait for her to leave, we thought she was one of the most annoying people we had ever met."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, at Halloween, Hermione had been crying all afternoon in the girls' bathroom because of something I said. Harry and I went to go find her when the school found out that there was a troll loose inside it. We made our way down to the girls' bathroom, and unknowingly locked the troll in the girls' bathroom. Hermione screamed, and we had to go back and save her. We did, and ever since then, she was our best friend."
"Then what happened?" Ron laughed and said,
"What do you mean, then what happened?"
"Then what happened?"
"When?"
"When you were best friends?"
"We were best friends for years to come and still are today, I don't know what you want to know."
"When did Daddy fall in love with Mummy?" Hesitation was evident on Ron's face, for he didn't know how to tell this to a four-year-old. He said,
"In our sixth year."
"How?"
"You know, I'm not really that sure. They just did. It's a mystery of some sort." 'They didn't, that's why it's a mystery.' Lily thought. Blake finally gave up on trying to sleep and opened his eyes. He saw his sister was still awake and said,
"Lily?" Lily jumped at the sudden sound of her name, and turned her head towards her brother. She said,
"Did you ever get to sleep?" Blake shook his head and said,
"Did you get any sleep?"
"No."
"Why not?" Lily turned back to Harry and Hermione and said,
"There's too much on my mind."
"Do you still have the time-turner?" Lily nodded.
"It's in my pocket."
"Do you think we've accomplished what we came to do?"
"What do you think?"
"I think we have."
"I think so too." Blake looked at his parents and said,
"Do you think that in our lifetime, there was ever a time when they wanted to go back and redo it all?"
"Hermione, can I ask you something?" Eight-year-old Lily heard her father say one evening.
"What?" Hermione snapped.
"If you could go back in time and redo any one event in your life, what would it be?"
"If I could go back in time, I'd stop myself from going on that walk with you that one night after the Quidditch Final."
"I figured that."
"If that hadn't happened, then we wouldn't have Lily and Blake, and we'd probably be better off."
"How can you say that, they're your children."
"I know, but it's because of them that we are the way we are. Ever since we found out I was pregnant; all we've ever done is fight. They've kept me from living my dreams; they've kept us from becoming Aurors like we always wanted. I can't help not loving someone that has been such a burden on me. It's the same reason why I don't love you." They were silent for a while, and then Hermione said,
"Maybe we should give up."
"What about Lily and Blake?"
"We're not doing much for them by fighting all the time."
"They need both of us, together."
"Why would you want to hold on to this marriage?"
"Hermione, if we got divorced, Blake and Lily would think it was their fault that we split up.
"It is their fault! If it wasn't for them we wouldn't be going through this." Harry slapped Hermione across the face, the first time he had ever struck her. He glared at her and said, dangerously,
"Never, ever, say something like that again."
"How can you keep me tied down like this!" Harry turned to leave, and said as he was leaving,
"I refuse to give you a divorce, Hermione, for the sake of our children."
"Blake, do you remember doing Boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts class?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember what you were afraid of?"
"Of course, I'm still afraid of it."
"Remember what mine was?"
"No."
"My biggest fear is ending up like them." Lily said, nodding at Hermione and Harry.
"You won't."
"How do you know?"
"Because you're Lily Potter, you're not Mum and Dad. You won't end up like them; you know what it's like living in the hell that we grew up in. You know that you don't marry someone if you have to, you marry someone if you love them."
"Yeah, but it's because of us that they're married."
"Now you're starting to sound like them, Lily. They've always looked for someone else to blame, but when it's really their fault. They didn't have to sleep together that night. It's their fault that they're together, their actions resulted with us, we didn't do anything."
"I think I see your point."
"You know, I never really understood, if they weren't together, then why did they sleep with each other?" Lily shrugged and said,
"Don't ask me to try and figure out what went on in their mind, cuz' I couldn't tell you, or I don't even think anyone could, even them. Not even the best Legimens in the world could figure out what goes on in their minds." Lily looked back at her parents-to-be and jumped when she saw that Harry was awake, listening to the conversation. Lily smiled and said,
"Good morning." Harry didn't return the smile but replied,
"Good morning." Lily looked at him as though waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, Lily said,
"Sleep well?" Harry, with no intention of answering her question, said,
"Tell me the whole truth, Lily, don't sugar coat it, what are we like in the future?"
"I'll tell you as long as you promise never to become this way, because it'll totally ruin everything we've come back for."
"I promise." Lily went into the long story of what the Harry and Hermione of the future were like, with the help of her brother. After she finished telling him, Harry had a hard to read look on his face. It was a combination of shock and regret. He looked at Hermione, then back at his daughter-to-be. He said,
"I can't believe we'll turn out that way."
"You don't have to be that way. The future isn't written, you can make it anyway you want it to be."
"Now that you put it that way, I've just thought, the way you describe the future, there might not be anything that turns out the way it is in the future." Blake said,
"Like how?"
"Well, I could die in attempt to defeat Voldemort." Lily said,
"Well, just think about this, you're gonna be a dad, you'll have two kids to live for and raise. I was told by Ron in the future that that's what kept you going."
"That's a comforting thought, Lily."
A/N: Sniff, I'm gonna start ending this, I don't know whether I'll put in two more chapters or just one. Please review, love you all. Blows kiss
Huskerfan2006
They were the only people in the Common Room. The trio had fallen asleep; Ron was stretched out in a chair, head hanging over the arm of the chair, mouth slightly hanging open. Harry and Hermione were sitting on a couch, Harry's arm around his fiancé, while she leaned her head on his shoulder. They held each other close, deep in slumber. The only two that were still awake were the twins. Blake tried falling asleep, but to no luck. Lily hadn't attempted to fall asleep, there was too much on her mind. While her brother kept moving from couch to chair to floor to try and get comfortable, Lily sat in a chair, feet up, watching her parents sleep. Many thoughts crossed her mind. Thoughts about what her life could be like when they returned to the future, memories of growing up, and stories she and Blake were always told, by Ron, Remus, Lavender, all the Weasleys, and very rarely, their parents. She closed her eyes, and a conversation between her godfather and herself came to mind. She was thirteen, and was sitting out on the patio of their house, after listening to an argument between her parents, somehow pulling Ron and her into it. She had heard her mother tell her father that it was all his fault for the way things were, things would've been different if only Blake and Lily never were born. Ron had come out to join her, and talk with her. She remembered it like it was yesterday. It was when she found out that she and Blake were important to their mother and father.
"Hey." Lily looked up and saw her godfather standing in the doorway. She replied,
"Hey."
"Mind if I sit down?" Lily shook her head and Ron sat down next to her on a lawn chair. He said,
"Don't take it to heart what your mum and dad say to each other."
"Well, it's kind of hard not to, when you've just heard from your own mother's mouth that she wishes you were never born."
"Hermione doesn't think that."
"Then why did she say it?"
"Listen, you have the sort of parents where two of them exist. You have the Hermione Granger, the mother and wife, and you have Hermione Granger, who resents your father for tying her down, when she knows that it's just as much her fault as Harry's. With your dad it's Harry Potter, the father and husband, and Harry Potter, the man who hated being tied down at seventeen, and wishes he could fulfill some of the dreams he used to have."
"No offense, Ron, but you're not making me feel any better."
"I know, I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it. Ok, you think that your parents don't love you, correct?"
"Correct?" Lily said, unsure of where her godfather was going with this.
"Well, that's all rubbish."
"What, that they don't love us?"
"Right. Because if you knew how much deep down they love you, you'd be surprised."
"Like how?"
"Well, for instance, you know that you were born at the time of the defeat of You-Know-Who, right?"
"Right."
"Well, Harry knew he had to leave to go risk his life to save the wizarding world, but do you know what his primary reason for risking his life was?"
"What?"
"You and Blake. He told me later that when he was fighting with Voldemort, when he thought it was the end, that he would die, what kept him going was knowing that he had to live to come home and raise you and your brother- with your mother." He added as an afterthought. Lily said,
"So, deep down, they both love us?"
"Let me ask you this, how could anyone not love something that's part of them? How could a parent not love their child? Yes, Lily, deep down they love you, even if they don't say it always."
"Well I wish they'd say it every once in a while."
"Well, we can't have everything I guess." Lily looked at her parents and thought, there'd be a better chance of them having a better relationship, for from the stories she had heard about Harry and Hermione and how they were before the night that changed everything.
"Ron, tell me what Mum and Dad were like when they were younger." A four- year-old Lily asked her godfather one day.
"Well, what do you want to know about them?"
"Everything."
"Where should I start?"
"Hmm, where they met."
"Well, it was on the train to Hogwarts our first year. Your dad and I were in a compartment, pigging out on the snacks and sweets we had bought. First, a boy named Neville came in looking for his toad that he lost. We told him we hadn't seen it, and he left. Later, your mother came in, with this bossy air to her voice and asked us whether we had seen the toad. We told her we hadn't, and it just so happened that I had had my wand out, preparing to do a spell that Fred gave me. She saw my wand, and added to my nervousness by having her watch me. The spell was a dud, though, and when it didn't work, Hermione went into this long speech about how it couldn't have been a real spell, and how she had already learned some simple spells, and they had all worked for her. Your dad and I couldn't wait for her to leave, we thought she was one of the most annoying people we had ever met."
"Then what happened?"
"Well, at Halloween, Hermione had been crying all afternoon in the girls' bathroom because of something I said. Harry and I went to go find her when the school found out that there was a troll loose inside it. We made our way down to the girls' bathroom, and unknowingly locked the troll in the girls' bathroom. Hermione screamed, and we had to go back and save her. We did, and ever since then, she was our best friend."
"Then what happened?" Ron laughed and said,
"What do you mean, then what happened?"
"Then what happened?"
"When?"
"When you were best friends?"
"We were best friends for years to come and still are today, I don't know what you want to know."
"When did Daddy fall in love with Mummy?" Hesitation was evident on Ron's face, for he didn't know how to tell this to a four-year-old. He said,
"In our sixth year."
"How?"
"You know, I'm not really that sure. They just did. It's a mystery of some sort." 'They didn't, that's why it's a mystery.' Lily thought. Blake finally gave up on trying to sleep and opened his eyes. He saw his sister was still awake and said,
"Lily?" Lily jumped at the sudden sound of her name, and turned her head towards her brother. She said,
"Did you ever get to sleep?" Blake shook his head and said,
"Did you get any sleep?"
"No."
"Why not?" Lily turned back to Harry and Hermione and said,
"There's too much on my mind."
"Do you still have the time-turner?" Lily nodded.
"It's in my pocket."
"Do you think we've accomplished what we came to do?"
"What do you think?"
"I think we have."
"I think so too." Blake looked at his parents and said,
"Do you think that in our lifetime, there was ever a time when they wanted to go back and redo it all?"
"Hermione, can I ask you something?" Eight-year-old Lily heard her father say one evening.
"What?" Hermione snapped.
"If you could go back in time and redo any one event in your life, what would it be?"
"If I could go back in time, I'd stop myself from going on that walk with you that one night after the Quidditch Final."
"I figured that."
"If that hadn't happened, then we wouldn't have Lily and Blake, and we'd probably be better off."
"How can you say that, they're your children."
"I know, but it's because of them that we are the way we are. Ever since we found out I was pregnant; all we've ever done is fight. They've kept me from living my dreams; they've kept us from becoming Aurors like we always wanted. I can't help not loving someone that has been such a burden on me. It's the same reason why I don't love you." They were silent for a while, and then Hermione said,
"Maybe we should give up."
"What about Lily and Blake?"
"We're not doing much for them by fighting all the time."
"They need both of us, together."
"Why would you want to hold on to this marriage?"
"Hermione, if we got divorced, Blake and Lily would think it was their fault that we split up.
"It is their fault! If it wasn't for them we wouldn't be going through this." Harry slapped Hermione across the face, the first time he had ever struck her. He glared at her and said, dangerously,
"Never, ever, say something like that again."
"How can you keep me tied down like this!" Harry turned to leave, and said as he was leaving,
"I refuse to give you a divorce, Hermione, for the sake of our children."
"Blake, do you remember doing Boggarts in Defense Against the Dark Arts class?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember what you were afraid of?"
"Of course, I'm still afraid of it."
"Remember what mine was?"
"No."
"My biggest fear is ending up like them." Lily said, nodding at Hermione and Harry.
"You won't."
"How do you know?"
"Because you're Lily Potter, you're not Mum and Dad. You won't end up like them; you know what it's like living in the hell that we grew up in. You know that you don't marry someone if you have to, you marry someone if you love them."
"Yeah, but it's because of us that they're married."
"Now you're starting to sound like them, Lily. They've always looked for someone else to blame, but when it's really their fault. They didn't have to sleep together that night. It's their fault that they're together, their actions resulted with us, we didn't do anything."
"I think I see your point."
"You know, I never really understood, if they weren't together, then why did they sleep with each other?" Lily shrugged and said,
"Don't ask me to try and figure out what went on in their mind, cuz' I couldn't tell you, or I don't even think anyone could, even them. Not even the best Legimens in the world could figure out what goes on in their minds." Lily looked back at her parents-to-be and jumped when she saw that Harry was awake, listening to the conversation. Lily smiled and said,
"Good morning." Harry didn't return the smile but replied,
"Good morning." Lily looked at him as though waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, Lily said,
"Sleep well?" Harry, with no intention of answering her question, said,
"Tell me the whole truth, Lily, don't sugar coat it, what are we like in the future?"
"I'll tell you as long as you promise never to become this way, because it'll totally ruin everything we've come back for."
"I promise." Lily went into the long story of what the Harry and Hermione of the future were like, with the help of her brother. After she finished telling him, Harry had a hard to read look on his face. It was a combination of shock and regret. He looked at Hermione, then back at his daughter-to-be. He said,
"I can't believe we'll turn out that way."
"You don't have to be that way. The future isn't written, you can make it anyway you want it to be."
"Now that you put it that way, I've just thought, the way you describe the future, there might not be anything that turns out the way it is in the future." Blake said,
"Like how?"
"Well, I could die in attempt to defeat Voldemort." Lily said,
"Well, just think about this, you're gonna be a dad, you'll have two kids to live for and raise. I was told by Ron in the future that that's what kept you going."
"That's a comforting thought, Lily."
A/N: Sniff, I'm gonna start ending this, I don't know whether I'll put in two more chapters or just one. Please review, love you all. Blows kiss
Huskerfan2006