Chapter 2:
(In Which Roll wanders too far into the woods, and meets the Big Bad Wolf)
The whole thing really got started on a warm summer day, when Roll decided to go for a walk in the woods. There were lots of blackberry bushes growing hither and dither in the forest, and Roll thought a fresh blackberry pie might be a nice surprise for her hungry 'boys' at suppertime. So, grabbing a basket, she strolled out the back door, through the back yard, and into the thick forest.
The forest was cool, calm, and shadowy. Roll often thought of it as a forest in a fairytale, and walking into it like this, she half expected to run into the Big Bad Wolf, or an enchanted gingerbread house, or a troll bridge or something like that. Indeed, on a sunny day like this, beams of sunlight cut sharply through the trees, resulting in a picturesque contrast of light and shadow.
Giggling, Roll tossed her head back, sending her shiny blonde hair flying about in a golden cascade. "Wow! What a gorgeous day it is out today!" With another sunny giggle, Roll set to work plucking berry after plump, juicy berry off of a nearby bush. As she worked, she hummed to herself, and after a while she started singing-
"I'd still love to wash in your old bathwater
love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it, you're my kind of maaannn..."
Now, Roll was so caught up in what she was doing that she didn't notice how deep into the woods the berry bushes were leading her. Both of her brothers had warned her never to wander too far into the woods, lest she run into one of Dr. Wily's robots. And she'd always heeded their advice well. So, when she looked up and saw she was in a sunny yet unfamiliar clearing, she was a bit unnerved, but not panicky. She figured she'd just follow the berry patch back home. But while she was here, she might as well finish up her berry gathering. So, she kept picking, and as she kept picking, she kept singing.
"So, why do we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in, so why do you want me?"
"Well," said an amused voice from behind her, "why DO you choose the boys that are naughty?"
With a gasp, Roll whirled around. There, lounging on a large rock in the sun, was the one creation of Dr. Wily's that Roll feared the most- Bass. He had a smug little grin on his handsome face, and his ruby eyes were glimmering mischeviously. His glossy ebony armor caught the sunlight in an edgy gleam. Roll quivered in fear. She'd heard some pretty nasty stories about the sleek, black-clad villain from her brothers, and her main goal at the moment was to get out of there without getting a plasma ball shot through her.
Bass leaned forward. "Geez, you're rude. You really should speak when you're spoken to. Don't you have any manners at all?" He chuckled easily, as if he was just getting the world's biggest kick out of scaring the holy bejesus out of Roll. "I asked you a simple question, and you don't even have the balls to answer me. Miss Roll, I have never been so insulted in all my life."
Roll continued trembling. She tried to say something, but her vocal synthesizer wouldn't work for her. What did he WANT from her? Should she run? Would he chase her? And how did he... Roll finally managed to squeak out, "How d-did you know my name?"
Bass snickered, rose from the rock, and slowly made his way over to her. "My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me, but I know you very well." Roll gave a little gasp, and abruptly dropped her basket, sending berries rolling helter-skelter all over the place. Bass raised an eyebrow. "I think I've figured out your problem. Your problem, miss Roll, is Anti-Bass Propaganda at the Light household. Your brothers, I imagine, tell you really freaky stories about the Father Stabber, Mother Raper, and Father Raper and Mother Stabber that is the Evil, Wicked, Nasty, Despicable, Demonic, and Not Very Nice Bass. And, with no evidence pointing to the opposite, you believe them all. Not that I blame you. It's not your fault that you're about as naïve as kids who think the fat guy at the mall is actually Santa Claus."
Now that Roll was a little less petrified, seeing as that she hadn't been subjected to staring down the barrel of Bass' arm cannon yet, she was beginning to get a little insulted. Who the devil WAS he, to scare the daylights out of her and then call her naïve for it? "Excuse me? Aren't you the same Bass that blew up the playground last week and built... well... incredibly... GRAPHIC sculptures out of the monkey bar rubble?"
"Heeey. That playground was just a big rustbucket anyway. Now the Mayor can quit putting off building a new one. Besides, erotica is an art form. I thought chicks digged art." He laughed aloud. "Hey, now you're getting your feathers ruffled. Am I annoying you? If I am, why don't you haul ass backwards and leave? I never ASKED you to strut your moneymaker into my thinkin' spot anyway."
Impossible. The boy was just utterly impossible. "I really SHOULD. You are rude, and crass, and... and..." Roll gestured violently at her dropped basket and scattered berries. "Look what you made me do, you jerk! An entire afternoon's work, wasted." Roll fumed... and then noticed Bass looking down at the berries- and back at her- with a sharp grin on his face. Oh, God. He was going to squish them. He was going to stomp over those berries as hard as he could, and she'd have to go home empty handed. He was going to... Roll looked down at the ground, and nearly fainted in disbelief.
Bass was crawling on his hands and knees, picking up every berry he could find. He moved quick as a racer snake, and soon her basket was full up again. Standing up carefully, as not to spill the basket, he grinned at Roll matter-of-factly. "NOW who's the jerk?"
Roll smirked back at him. If this was the way he wanted to play, fine. She was adaptable. "You, of course. You're a jerk who's trying NOT to be a jerk in front of a pretty girl." She reached out and took the basket, letting her thumb brush against his. "But thanks anyway." Winking at him, she turned around and headed back toward her house. "Now, 'f you'll excuse me, I have work to do at home. I can't play with you anymore today."
Now it was Bass' turn to be left speechless. He watched her exit the clearing, and she was almost out of sight when he finally managed to call out "Hey! You gonna come back here anytime soon?"
Roll stopped and shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not really supposed to be traipsing around in YOUR woods. Besides, this is YOUR thinking spot, so by any rights I shouldn't ever come 'round here anymore, am I right?"
"Well... um... I suppose I could, um, share it. With you, I mean. Anybody else barges in and they'll have one less ass than they did when they come in. But you... you're ok. For a Light, anyway."
Roll snickered. "Thanks, I think." Blowing Bass a playful kiss, Roll giggled and ran halfway home before she stopped dead, blinked, and winced. "Oh, GEEZ! What in the name of all holy hell am I DOING?!?"
(In Which Roll wanders too far into the woods, and meets the Big Bad Wolf)
The whole thing really got started on a warm summer day, when Roll decided to go for a walk in the woods. There were lots of blackberry bushes growing hither and dither in the forest, and Roll thought a fresh blackberry pie might be a nice surprise for her hungry 'boys' at suppertime. So, grabbing a basket, she strolled out the back door, through the back yard, and into the thick forest.
The forest was cool, calm, and shadowy. Roll often thought of it as a forest in a fairytale, and walking into it like this, she half expected to run into the Big Bad Wolf, or an enchanted gingerbread house, or a troll bridge or something like that. Indeed, on a sunny day like this, beams of sunlight cut sharply through the trees, resulting in a picturesque contrast of light and shadow.
Giggling, Roll tossed her head back, sending her shiny blonde hair flying about in a golden cascade. "Wow! What a gorgeous day it is out today!" With another sunny giggle, Roll set to work plucking berry after plump, juicy berry off of a nearby bush. As she worked, she hummed to herself, and after a while she started singing-
"I'd still love to wash in your old bathwater
love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it, you're my kind of maaannn..."
Now, Roll was so caught up in what she was doing that she didn't notice how deep into the woods the berry bushes were leading her. Both of her brothers had warned her never to wander too far into the woods, lest she run into one of Dr. Wily's robots. And she'd always heeded their advice well. So, when she looked up and saw she was in a sunny yet unfamiliar clearing, she was a bit unnerved, but not panicky. She figured she'd just follow the berry patch back home. But while she was here, she might as well finish up her berry gathering. So, she kept picking, and as she kept picking, she kept singing.
"So, why do we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in, so why do you want me?"
"Well," said an amused voice from behind her, "why DO you choose the boys that are naughty?"
With a gasp, Roll whirled around. There, lounging on a large rock in the sun, was the one creation of Dr. Wily's that Roll feared the most- Bass. He had a smug little grin on his handsome face, and his ruby eyes were glimmering mischeviously. His glossy ebony armor caught the sunlight in an edgy gleam. Roll quivered in fear. She'd heard some pretty nasty stories about the sleek, black-clad villain from her brothers, and her main goal at the moment was to get out of there without getting a plasma ball shot through her.
Bass leaned forward. "Geez, you're rude. You really should speak when you're spoken to. Don't you have any manners at all?" He chuckled easily, as if he was just getting the world's biggest kick out of scaring the holy bejesus out of Roll. "I asked you a simple question, and you don't even have the balls to answer me. Miss Roll, I have never been so insulted in all my life."
Roll continued trembling. She tried to say something, but her vocal synthesizer wouldn't work for her. What did he WANT from her? Should she run? Would he chase her? And how did he... Roll finally managed to squeak out, "How d-did you know my name?"
Bass snickered, rose from the rock, and slowly made his way over to her. "My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me, but I know you very well." Roll gave a little gasp, and abruptly dropped her basket, sending berries rolling helter-skelter all over the place. Bass raised an eyebrow. "I think I've figured out your problem. Your problem, miss Roll, is Anti-Bass Propaganda at the Light household. Your brothers, I imagine, tell you really freaky stories about the Father Stabber, Mother Raper, and Father Raper and Mother Stabber that is the Evil, Wicked, Nasty, Despicable, Demonic, and Not Very Nice Bass. And, with no evidence pointing to the opposite, you believe them all. Not that I blame you. It's not your fault that you're about as naïve as kids who think the fat guy at the mall is actually Santa Claus."
Now that Roll was a little less petrified, seeing as that she hadn't been subjected to staring down the barrel of Bass' arm cannon yet, she was beginning to get a little insulted. Who the devil WAS he, to scare the daylights out of her and then call her naïve for it? "Excuse me? Aren't you the same Bass that blew up the playground last week and built... well... incredibly... GRAPHIC sculptures out of the monkey bar rubble?"
"Heeey. That playground was just a big rustbucket anyway. Now the Mayor can quit putting off building a new one. Besides, erotica is an art form. I thought chicks digged art." He laughed aloud. "Hey, now you're getting your feathers ruffled. Am I annoying you? If I am, why don't you haul ass backwards and leave? I never ASKED you to strut your moneymaker into my thinkin' spot anyway."
Impossible. The boy was just utterly impossible. "I really SHOULD. You are rude, and crass, and... and..." Roll gestured violently at her dropped basket and scattered berries. "Look what you made me do, you jerk! An entire afternoon's work, wasted." Roll fumed... and then noticed Bass looking down at the berries- and back at her- with a sharp grin on his face. Oh, God. He was going to squish them. He was going to stomp over those berries as hard as he could, and she'd have to go home empty handed. He was going to... Roll looked down at the ground, and nearly fainted in disbelief.
Bass was crawling on his hands and knees, picking up every berry he could find. He moved quick as a racer snake, and soon her basket was full up again. Standing up carefully, as not to spill the basket, he grinned at Roll matter-of-factly. "NOW who's the jerk?"
Roll smirked back at him. If this was the way he wanted to play, fine. She was adaptable. "You, of course. You're a jerk who's trying NOT to be a jerk in front of a pretty girl." She reached out and took the basket, letting her thumb brush against his. "But thanks anyway." Winking at him, she turned around and headed back toward her house. "Now, 'f you'll excuse me, I have work to do at home. I can't play with you anymore today."
Now it was Bass' turn to be left speechless. He watched her exit the clearing, and she was almost out of sight when he finally managed to call out "Hey! You gonna come back here anytime soon?"
Roll stopped and shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not really supposed to be traipsing around in YOUR woods. Besides, this is YOUR thinking spot, so by any rights I shouldn't ever come 'round here anymore, am I right?"
"Well... um... I suppose I could, um, share it. With you, I mean. Anybody else barges in and they'll have one less ass than they did when they come in. But you... you're ok. For a Light, anyway."
Roll snickered. "Thanks, I think." Blowing Bass a playful kiss, Roll giggled and ran halfway home before she stopped dead, blinked, and winced. "Oh, GEEZ! What in the name of all holy hell am I DOING?!?"