Rhapsodies in the Dark: Chapter 3
Note: I did a major re-working of the story, necessitating the deletion of old chapters 3 and 4. Sorry for any inconvenience that might have caused. Please forget the deleted chapters if time hadn't done so already. I hope you enjoy my replacements.
"They say you don't like to follow orders."
Zenon smirked. "Well if that's what they say..." Then it's true, I guess.
"They say you drink too much and smoke too much and curse like an Under Heaven human."
"No more than the next man, sir."
"They say you have a reputation for excessive violence."
"No more than the next soldier, sir."
"They say," Tenpou continued, looking at the file in front of him, then at the soldier slouching in the chair on the other side of his office desk. "That you frequently visit the Under Heaven without authorization. I'm afraid that such a thing can get you convicted and punished for such violations. Perhaps if I were to say there were witnesses..."
At this point, the smirk on Zenon's face disappeared only to be replaced by a pallid look of disdain that he didn't even attempt to hide. "Can't believe anything you hear these days," Whoever it was who saw me, I'll slit his throat and get drunk to celebrate his death as I kick his corpse off a cliff. "Sir."
"Okay. Then why do you know the Under Heaven's geography so well?"
Zenon narrowed his eyes at his superior. He felt as if he were trying to cross a mine field and the Marshal was safely on the other side tossing rocks at the ground beside him. "No more than..."
"Incorrect!" Tenpou interrupted. "Much much more than the next soldier. Why is that?"
Zenon grit his teeth. "I look at the maps really really hard, sir."
"And given what they say about your astounding accuracy as a scout on the field, your eyes must really really hurt." As he said this, Tenpou flipped through pages and pages of reports. "As much as I hate losing a soldier with such a good record, I regret to say that you are very very discharged. Turn in your uniform to me by nightfall and stay in your quarters until further notice so to avoid the humiliation of a public arrest. The council and I will decide your punishment by the coming week. I'll try to reduce your sentence as much as possible, but..."
"What the fuck?!" Zenon jumped in his chair and slammed his fists onto the mahogany desk, rattling the books that were precariously balanced there. "Okay. Fine. I've gone down. I've gone down a lot, without anybody's fucking permission. So what? I still worked for you, don't I? I haven't once led you or your men down the wrong path. Doesn't that at least merit me getting a...a trial or something fair like that?"
This amused Tenpou greatly. When people had buttons to push, he made it a point to push and push hard. "Who says heaven's fair?"
"Everybody!" In frustration, he ran a hand through his hair and resisted the impulse to yank them off his head. "Haven't you ever heard of divine justice, sir?" He spat out the honorific like poison. "People here seem to use that word a lot." He couldn't think straight. The only thought in his mind at that point was that he had to go back. He had to go back. He couldn't just leave her there...and in her...condition. And if they found out about that, then...Zenon couldn't bear the thought of his child as a prisoner of heaven. He'd kill the entire court, even Tentei himself to make sure it never happened.
"Can't believe anything you hear these days."
"Go to hell."
"If I go, then I'm bringing you with me." Tenpou said evenly.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you've incriminated yourself, soldier." The marshal threw the reports on the desk for Zenon to peruse. But they weren't reports, only blank sheets of paper. "There were no witness reports. Only rumors. And while I usually pay no heed to them, this one concerning your trips to the Under Heaven caught my attention. Know that in a direct confession to a high officer such as myself, due process isn't necessary."
"I..." Zenon paled, white as the sheets in front of him.
"I won't tell anybody," Tenpou cut in. "and I won't discharge you. But I need you to do something for me."
"And what might that be?"
"See that door?" The marshal pointed to the entrance to his bedroom. It was closed.
"Open it."
Zenon obeyed and rigidly got up. He was mentally cursing as he walked the entire ten-foot distance to the door and he was still at it when he swung it open. Just as quickly, he slammed it shut.
"Holy fuck! You, sir, are in a shitload of trouble. That's the survivor who disappeared from the infirmary. I don't know what game you're playing, but if you're caught, it's going to send you straight to the executioner's block."
"Welcome to the boat. Please take your oar and do as you're told. There are only two of us rowing and if you stop, we sink, understood?"
"What do you want me to do?"
I guess you are just unlucky, Zenon. But fate had it that I heard your name at just the right moment. Now you have to be subject to the plans of an eccentric marshal, knowing little about the circumstances save for what your orders are. A bit of a black hole, isn't it? Dark. Well even the sun shining over heaven casts shadows...
Tenpou's final words at their meeting lingered in his mind as he walked away from the cluttered study. It took guts to do what that guy was doing, Zenon admitted, and he had been waiting for an assignment like this for some time; but something churned in his gut about the entire situation. Sitting there with Tenpou, and with that guy in the other room, Zenon had the feeling that the air around them vibrated in anticipation for something to materialize out of the blue.
Tenpou Gensui was insane. Looking into the man's eyes made time seem to close in around him, but despite all that Zenon couldn't help but feel a profound respect for him; if not a little fear.
This from someone who didn't fear the wrath of heaven.
"Just when I thought," he said to himself as he lit a cigarette. "Everyone here was boring..."
Blood. That was the first thing that came to mind when Shien woke up. And he must have said it too, because the first thing he heard was Tenpou's soft voice reassuring him.
"Not yours."
"Ah." He didn't ask. He simply laid there indulging himself in the feeling of the pillow, soft as the voice he heard, and tainted with the smell of cigarette smoke. By the warmth of the sun filtering in, Shien assumed it to be late afternoon. Sunset. With the moon flowers cracking open just enough to release a subtle fragrance.
"So, do you remember anything yet?" Tenpou inquired as cheerily as possible, as if they were merely two friends who had a night of excessive drinking.
Shien groaned. His throat was parched, burning almost. "You make it sound so simple. Hurts. My throat hurts." It must have been the poison.
"Here. Drink this."
Feeling the ceramic cup at his lips, Shien balked. "They say humans are the only creatures who trip on the same stone twice. You drink it first." With that, he shoved the cup back towards Tenpou who shrugged and drank a sip.
"I don't know how that will help you any." Shien knew Tenpou was right, but it was a necessary show. Marshal or not, Shien didn't trust him. He didn't have the heart to trust anybody anymore. "But if the knowledge is of any comfort to you, know that Goujun needs you alive."
"It's all the same, I guess." he said, and drank. "There's something in this."
"I never said it was water." Tenpou reminded him with a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "But it isn't poison either."
"It tastes good."
"Apparently only soldiers who stay Down There a lot acquire a taste for it. Tastes like poison to me."
Shien chuckled, but was struck silent when a glimmer of a memory fluttered through his mind with the randomness of a lost kite. He said the same thing the first time we tried it. But it came out in pieces. Foggy too. "We all drank it. Every night. Except for him, at first. He only wanted wine but when our stock ran out, he learned to like it."
"He?" There was no doubt that Shien was referring to Kasei without even knowing it. His throat tightened.
"I don't know." Shien replied honestly, setting the cup aside and lying back down. He was getting tired again, probably because the drink had alcohol in it and he was still suffering from significant blood loss.
They settled into a stuffy silence each one wanting to say more but nothing ever came out.
Then, "Wolves."
Having given up any notions of forceful interrogation, Tenpou had started dozing in his chair next to the bed. "What?"
"Wolves. Dying wolves." Shien repeated sleepily. "That's what it sounded like before..."
"Wolves!" Tenpou proclaimed with fervent conviction. "That's it! The missing element in this case; by Geroge I think we've got it Watson!"
Konzen, despite the other's obvious enthusiasm, was not impressed. "Tenpou, you've really been reading too much crap these days." he said, his face deadpan. "And who's-"
"It wasn't the Shouryin youkai. Not at all."
"Sorry, but I'm not privy to the demonology they subject you to in the Academy." Konzen snapped, pointedly shuffling his papers and poising his pen in a manner that screamed, BUSY.
And I don't have time to deal with this now. Too much work.
Time was ticking and for every second he sat listening to Tenpou rant, Konzen could count an added three forms to his pile of three thousand. So after a while he simply tuned out and returned to the paperwork. Signature. Seal. Next. Signature. Date. Seal. Next.
Tenpou could tell Konzen was working through a headache by the way he squinted at his papers in an attempt to focus on something other than the pain. This was the epitome of Heaven: doing the job and suffering through it, meaningless as it felt.
Could life in the Under Heaven be any different? Tenpou shook his head. From what he had read, it was just the same. Exactly the same, except for death and the unknown beyond; and it was these last two things that afforded humans the opportunity to enjoy the life they have, and not rot into an immortal oblivion.
The scratching of Konzen's pen brought him back to reality.
The Shouryin are earth based. They hide in trees and disguise themselves as rocks, but they never make a sound before they strike. It's against their instincts as predators. But to match the battle cry with the species...I'd have to read up on it in the morning. Or maybe Zenon would know.
Konzen squinted harder. He must have an earthquake of a migraine, Tenpou observed as he rubbed his own eyes. He hadn't slept in 3 days, but he doubted he could fall asleep now. Instead Tenpou entertained his insomnia with glass after glass of alcohol. Night had draped itself over Heaven, but something akin to a black whirlpool stirred awake inside him and threatened to pull him in.
Like being turned inside out.
What are you looking for? Are you finding it? The Marshal ran these questions in his mind again and again as he leisurely sipped at his wine and gazed at Konzen squinting like a blind grandpa.
"Tenpou, are you just going to sit there all night?"
"If it's no trouble."
Tenpou smiled, but his hand trembled and Konzen ignored it. Tenpou's face was gaunt and flushed from too much alcohol and too little food. But Konzen ignored that too because in heaven, anything that made you think of earthly things compelled you to turn away. But Konzen couldn't turn away from Tenpou, who resembled all too well what a dying man would look like. So he ignored the body and focused on the marshal's words.
This method, however, proved ineffective. There was an absurd hollowness to them that evoked the image of a tomb. A tomb in heaven and it was right here; living and breathing and speaking about georges, watsons, and the sound of wolves at night. One echo after another of something very dead crept into Konzen's bones, suddenly making him feel as if he were being buried alive.
"The body of a dead man is heavier than that of a live one." Konzen muttered to his documents. "You made a grave for your brother in your heart, now you seem to want to join him. Are you going to carry his murdered corpse for all eternity?"
"Konzen…"
"Well you should have left it at the door!" he lashed out. "Bring it up in a century or so. Fine. I don't care. Just not now!"
Finally it sunk in. This was the Konzen's first taste of death, and from the way he spoke it sounded like he would spit it out if he could.
The only shade of red that dark in this world should be the wine we drink. I'm not surprised you're disgusted with me for having brought blood to your table.
"I'm sorry. I forgot..."
"Only idiots apologize for that sort of thing."
"Then let me be an idiot." Tenpou shot back. "An idiot who has a small favor to ask..."
"What's that?"
"Let me stay here for the night? It's not like I have a bed to go to."
"You have a couch." Konzen countered, not looking up from his work.
But I don't want to be alone tonight, as childish as it sounds. I'll go crazy. "But that would mean moving all the books I placed there."
"You've got the authority to move armies and yet you won't even shove aside a couple of books?" Konzen knew full well that Tenpou was getting frustrated. He could see it in his face, the way his jaw was firmly set and how his hands curled up into fists on his lap.
The recent surge of events were like a river chipping slowly way at the banks of the man's pride until it was only a matter of a few stressed and stormy instants until the dam broke. Why Konzen decided to bring out the chisel, he didn't know. Perhaps it was a certain morbid curiosity that drove him to do it. He wanted to see Tenpou crack and reduce himself to acting human. He wanted...he didn't know what he wanted from it.
"Damn him, though." Tenpou's voice broke and he slumped over. "I hate him. I know Goujun put me in charge of protect him, but it's night now. If I fall asleep…if I…I'm not in my right mind. I might kill him. I swear to God, it's taking everything I have not to strangle the bastard!"
Gods, I'm drunk. I'm so drunk.
For days, Tenpou smiled and hid it, but it was just like Konzen and his paperwork. He suffered and did his job. But night brings strange release to those who hide behind masks. Darkness works its way into the cracks of the heart and festers. If he were less honorable man…
If Shien had been doing his job…
If I had been doing mine…
"Hey." In an unexpected gesture of sympathy, Konzen knelt in front of his friend, work left unattended.
"If revenge is what you're looking for, nobody's stopping you." Empty, consolatory words initially fell from his lips, but they evaporated into oblivion without having being heard because again, that morbid curiosity got the better of him and tempted Konzen to push the one button he should have left well alone. This is what came out.
"And you think I shouldn't be stopped? Words from the Goddess of Mercy's own kin: kill him because nobody's stopping you," Tenpou said quietly, his hand snaking around the back of the other's head. "God, Konzen, don't give me so much freedom. Do you think I haven't entertained the idea of killing a man already dead on the record? Do you think I haven't fantasized about throwing him to the youkai and throwing myself in with him? Do you think it's easy not to be corrupt?" The words flowed out faster, slurred, and angry. "It's not!" With that last utterance, Tenpou's hand seized a clump of golden hair causing Konzen to yelp in pain.
"Asshole, let-"
"I can start with him," Tenpou's voice had turned to something softer than a whisper. "But like all things go, someone else will die. The man who ordered them to the Under Heaven. Then the messenger who relayed the order. The sentry who didn't know any better. The cook who gave them rations. Goujun. Then myself. Ultimately myself. And you tell me, 'nobody's stopping you, Tenpou.' Wrong answer. You are stopping me, Konzen. Do something honorable for once."
One harsh yank and Tenpou crushed their lips together. Desperation, depravity, insanity; Konzen couldn't pin a reason to Tenpou's impulse to seek physical gratification. He considered giving his friend a hardy kick in the stomach, but something told him that to turn Tenpou away now would mean turning him away forever. And forever was a long time around here.
Besides, Konzen told himself grudgingly, I'm not beyond doing honorable things. Be grateful, asshole, that I'm being so fucking honorable. By that point, his thoughts were growing cloudy. It felt nice, but it scared the hell out of him. Fucking jerk.
He could feel Tenpou's arms tightening around him, even when the marshal pulled away and buried his face into Konzen's neck, they never once loosened.
"Look, if you're going to fucking cry, I'm not sharing my bed."
"I must look like the epitome of pathetic." Tenpou's voice was muffled, but Konzen could still feel the smile on his skin.
"If you want to know the truth, I think the both of us are looking pretty bad right now. You're going fucking mad and as a result, I'm going to go bald. The world is definitely going to end."