Author's Notes: Yes, another One Shot from me! --grins-- Dunno if this will be as good as my other one, but we'll see. If there are any wrong using of Japanese phrases, please notify me so I won't look like a complete idiot! This is the first time I've written Japanese into my stories, and it's kind of a test-run to see if I should go back and rewrite my Furuba fics to put the Japanese that I had taken out back in. Promise to tell me if I did bad? --puppy-dog eyes--
Disclaimer: I don't own them. --scowls-- And Kyou needs some huggles too... --huffs, crossing her arms and sinking into her comp chair--
Preventing Fate
It was a dark affair, but it was one he needed to go through. He'd told Tohru that he'd be at Shishou's, and Yuki was busy with that clown Manabe and the rest of the student council. He hated lying to Tohru, but he needed to do this alone. Luckily for him, the site wasn't within the Honke. None of the ones related to the neko directly could be buried inside.
...that was his fate as well.
He hadn't been there since the funeral, but now--being only days after that nightmare--he had felt the need to go there. To visit with the first victim of his curse.
He stood there, staring at the marker, not sure what to do. It wasn't the right time to do anything. So instead, he dropped to his knees and hunched forward, planting his hands on the ground and bowing his head. The memories of that day still echoed in his mind, making him choke on the tears that threatened to come.
"Ore no sei ja nai..."
It hadn't been his fault...had it?
"Ore no sei ja nai!"
Had he really been the reason...she chose to do this...so long ago?
"ORE NO SEI JA NAI!"
No! He'd been wrong! It was his fault! It had been because of his curse!
When the first sign of realization began, he didn't know, but that hardly mattered. All he could do then was choke back the sobs that were threatening to escape him. No matter what he did, he continued to see her smiling down at him, speaking kindly right before checking his wrist yet again. It was the only thing he could remember her doing, and...
Okaasan...
...he wished he could hate her for it.
"...'kaasan..." he managed to choke out before looking up to marker.
He could still clearly remember the haunting image he had envisioned in his nightmare. His mother...and Honda Kyoko bloodied and dead. The message they gave him...he would never forget.
"...I won't..." he said painfully, in a quiet voice that sounded so very weak and strained. "...I won't let anyone else suffer because of my curse." His hands dug into the ground as he bowed his head again. "...even if it means--"
"I won't forgive you."
He flinched at those words.
Honda Kyoko...gomen...gomen nasai...I won't be able to keep my promise...because the only way I can protect her is by staying at a distance...
Okaasan...even though it was my curse that killed you...help me? I can't--I can't help myself...
The sound of footsteps made him tense before looking up and behind himself. There stood a man who had gone through great lengths to keep away from him. Now he stared down at him, his face a mask of fury--one that was known too well by the one he looked down upon.
"What are you doing here..." he stated quietly, not really caring for an answer.
He could only stare at the elder man. "O-otousan--" He fell back away from the marker because of the stinging blow the man had delivered him. He didn't dare raise his eyes again, silent as his father's fury flared.
"It isn't enough she's dead, is it?" the grown man demanded loudly. "It isn't enough that you...that you killed her, Bake--bakemono!"
He didn't respond and merely pushed himself off of the ground, never glancing toward his father. He didn't even dare to look to the marker again and brushed a hand across his stinging cheek.
"...'tousan..." he finally said when he knew the man wouldn't strike out again. "I didn't come...to cause trouble...only to say...I won't deny...what's true now...demo..." He looked up at his father, a sad yet determined expression on his face, "I won't let that get the best of me!"
He waited, searching for a reaction, but there wasn't any. Clenching his fists, he reined in his frustration. It wouldn't do to lose his temper at this site, in front of that man.
Even if...no matter how much I deny it...I wish...that I could have....this man's kindness...just once...
Still...there was silence.
He finally gave the marker and then the man one last glance before turning to leave. "Sayonara, Otousan," he managed to say before walking off.
He'd push all of what happened at that place away. He didn't have to look back on his thoughts, on the site, on his father who remained an unforgiving stone weighing heavily on him. Sometimes, that was all he could do...so that he could keep moving. So that he'd keep at least one promise.
----------------------
"Kyou-kun." He looked up from his dinner to look to Tohru, who watched him curiously.
"Nani...?" he asked, not knowing if she had asked a question beforehand.
She looked somewhat concerned. "Anou...Kyou-kun was very quiet..."
He sighed. "Daijoubou."
His answer, however, stirred a reaction from the other two occupants of the house.
"Mou..." said the inu slowly, shiftily, "did you start thinking about New Year's already, Kyo-kun?"
The nezumi snorted into his tea. "Why would the baka neko be thinking about that? What would the neko be doing?"
He turned to shout at Yuki, "Kuso nezumi! What'd you say that for!"
"Because it's the truth?"
For that time, in that place, he could forget. He could live and be as he wished...until that time...
He glanced at Tohru, who smiled at the antics of the three of them. Feeling a slight pain in the center of his being, he looked down to his meal again, withdrawn and pensive.
Even if...I break my promise to Honda Kyoko...I will keep my distance...if it means she won't suffer under my curse like they did...
"Ore no...sei ja nai..."
No matter how much I want to continue to deny it...it was because of me, and realizing that...
"Maa, maa, Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun. Tohru-chan is right here!"
"...NANI?"
"Eh?"
"Where do you get off calling her '-chan'?"
"Where did that comment come from anyway, Shigure?"
I can...prevent another...from meeting that fate...
Disclaimer: I don't own them. --scowls-- And Kyou needs some huggles too... --huffs, crossing her arms and sinking into her comp chair--
Preventing Fate
It was a dark affair, but it was one he needed to go through. He'd told Tohru that he'd be at Shishou's, and Yuki was busy with that clown Manabe and the rest of the student council. He hated lying to Tohru, but he needed to do this alone. Luckily for him, the site wasn't within the Honke. None of the ones related to the neko directly could be buried inside.
...that was his fate as well.
He hadn't been there since the funeral, but now--being only days after that nightmare--he had felt the need to go there. To visit with the first victim of his curse.
He stood there, staring at the marker, not sure what to do. It wasn't the right time to do anything. So instead, he dropped to his knees and hunched forward, planting his hands on the ground and bowing his head. The memories of that day still echoed in his mind, making him choke on the tears that threatened to come.
"Ore no sei ja nai..."
It hadn't been his fault...had it?
"Ore no sei ja nai!"
Had he really been the reason...she chose to do this...so long ago?
"ORE NO SEI JA NAI!"
No! He'd been wrong! It was his fault! It had been because of his curse!
When the first sign of realization began, he didn't know, but that hardly mattered. All he could do then was choke back the sobs that were threatening to escape him. No matter what he did, he continued to see her smiling down at him, speaking kindly right before checking his wrist yet again. It was the only thing he could remember her doing, and...
Okaasan...
...he wished he could hate her for it.
"...'kaasan..." he managed to choke out before looking up to marker.
He could still clearly remember the haunting image he had envisioned in his nightmare. His mother...and Honda Kyoko bloodied and dead. The message they gave him...he would never forget.
"...I won't..." he said painfully, in a quiet voice that sounded so very weak and strained. "...I won't let anyone else suffer because of my curse." His hands dug into the ground as he bowed his head again. "...even if it means--"
"I won't forgive you."
He flinched at those words.
Honda Kyoko...gomen...gomen nasai...I won't be able to keep my promise...because the only way I can protect her is by staying at a distance...
Okaasan...even though it was my curse that killed you...help me? I can't--I can't help myself...
The sound of footsteps made him tense before looking up and behind himself. There stood a man who had gone through great lengths to keep away from him. Now he stared down at him, his face a mask of fury--one that was known too well by the one he looked down upon.
"What are you doing here..." he stated quietly, not really caring for an answer.
He could only stare at the elder man. "O-otousan--" He fell back away from the marker because of the stinging blow the man had delivered him. He didn't dare raise his eyes again, silent as his father's fury flared.
"It isn't enough she's dead, is it?" the grown man demanded loudly. "It isn't enough that you...that you killed her, Bake--bakemono!"
He didn't respond and merely pushed himself off of the ground, never glancing toward his father. He didn't even dare to look to the marker again and brushed a hand across his stinging cheek.
"...'tousan..." he finally said when he knew the man wouldn't strike out again. "I didn't come...to cause trouble...only to say...I won't deny...what's true now...demo..." He looked up at his father, a sad yet determined expression on his face, "I won't let that get the best of me!"
He waited, searching for a reaction, but there wasn't any. Clenching his fists, he reined in his frustration. It wouldn't do to lose his temper at this site, in front of that man.
Even if...no matter how much I deny it...I wish...that I could have....this man's kindness...just once...
Still...there was silence.
He finally gave the marker and then the man one last glance before turning to leave. "Sayonara, Otousan," he managed to say before walking off.
He'd push all of what happened at that place away. He didn't have to look back on his thoughts, on the site, on his father who remained an unforgiving stone weighing heavily on him. Sometimes, that was all he could do...so that he could keep moving. So that he'd keep at least one promise.
"Kyou-kun." He looked up from his dinner to look to Tohru, who watched him curiously.
"Nani...?" he asked, not knowing if she had asked a question beforehand.
She looked somewhat concerned. "Anou...Kyou-kun was very quiet..."
He sighed. "Daijoubou."
His answer, however, stirred a reaction from the other two occupants of the house.
"Mou..." said the inu slowly, shiftily, "did you start thinking about New Year's already, Kyo-kun?"
The nezumi snorted into his tea. "Why would the baka neko be thinking about that? What would the neko be doing?"
He turned to shout at Yuki, "Kuso nezumi! What'd you say that for!"
"Because it's the truth?"
For that time, in that place, he could forget. He could live and be as he wished...until that time...
He glanced at Tohru, who smiled at the antics of the three of them. Feeling a slight pain in the center of his being, he looked down to his meal again, withdrawn and pensive.
Even if...I break my promise to Honda Kyoko...I will keep my distance...if it means she won't suffer under my curse like they did...
"Ore no...sei ja nai..."
No matter how much I want to continue to deny it...it was because of me, and realizing that...
"Maa, maa, Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun. Tohru-chan is right here!"
"...NANI?"
"Eh?"
"Where do you get off calling her '-chan'?"
"Where did that comment come from anyway, Shigure?"
I can...prevent another...from meeting that fate...
Author's Notes: ...gah...I made myself depressed --sniffles-- Anyway, looking back on writing this, I have to say that I think I made this with enough angst --grins-- Sorry, but Kyou-kun's so angsty in the manga series right now, and after watching Episode 25 in Japanese, I felt compelled to write another Kyou bit...
Ack! Forgot the translation of the Japanese phrases!
Honke = The Souma Estate
Neko = Cat
Ore no sei ja nai = It's not my fault
Okaasan = Mother
Gomen nasai = I'm so sorry
Otousan = Father
Bakemono = Monster
Demo = But...
Sayonara = Goodbye
Nani = What?
Anou = Um...
Daijoubou = I'm/It's okay/all right
Mou = a thoughtful sound to catch attention
Inu = Dog
Nezumi = Rat/Mouse
Baka = Stupid/Idiot
Kuso = Damn
Maa, maa = Now, now... words used to attempt calming a person
Wow, that was more Japanese than I thought I had in there --sweatdrops-- Very simple phrases, but hey, I'm trying my best to be careful about when and where I use each statement, that way I won't make myself look like and idiot. -.-' Anyway, ja ne!