Anger Management
Author's note and Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and I am doing them no harm. This is ficlet I was inspired to write after reading a description of an episode in Season 3. Also this ficlet has a NC-17 rating, and does contain violence, and adult content. Also, technically this is not a spoiler for Season three because I haven't seen it, yet. It's just inspired by it.
Julien Lowe comes to the small apartment. He probably should turn back, he has no real reason to be here. He doesn't want to spend a lonely night at home, though. Vanessa and Randall have gone for a week to visit with her parents in Detroit. He probably shouldn't even know this address. He had developed a network of criminals, today, just so he could get this address. The door seems familiar from the last door this person was at, it is a small door with a "No Solicitors" sign on it, in a large apartment complex. He raises his hand to knock on the door, but stops. He shouldn't even be here, to do what he is thinking of doing. He is suppose to have this part of his life behind him, but the truth is he hasn't, and he doesn't really know how to. The truth is the classes he goes to on Thursday night don't seem to help him some times.
He knocks on the door.
A man opens the door, clean shaven unlike the last time he saw him, wearing blue jean pants, and a Los Angeles Coroner souvenir shirt. "Hello." His voice is somewhat cold, after the last the few encounters with Julien. His mouth is formed into a smile. "I am not doing anything for you to arrest me officer."
"Actually, I heard you work as a pro sometimes."
The man stays in the doorway, not moving. Julien saying this doesn't make him any happier. "So, you're vice now, trying to catch me violating conditions of ...."
"That is not what I mean... I am off duty...I wanted to pay for your services. If that is alright with you, Tomas. " That didn't come out as Julien intended. It had too much anger in it. He sighs inwardly.
"Fine, if that's what you want." Tomas moves away from the door, so that Julien can come into the apartment. When he saw it was Julien, he wasn't expecting this. But it is nice that Julien didn't try to sugar coat their relationship, like he did the times before. Tomas probably was partially responsible for that. He closes the door behind Julien, watching him for a minute. His lips form into a small pout. Julien last time tried to tell him about that reprogrammed mumbo jumbo. "Let me guess, Wifie is out of town, and so you decided you needed a new toy."
Julien stops, wondering how Tomas could figure that out. He probably shouldn't ask. He feels himself getting angry, and he shouldn't do that. He has never really done this before, and this probably isn't fair to Tomas. A savage instinct takes over, and he pulls Tomas into an angry kiss, and pushes him towards the couch.
- - - Julien seems to be someone else, as he drives savagely into Tomas. Tomas, unlike times befores, seems to be just letting Julien do what he wants. He is not responding in any way, except for the physical reaction which he can't control. Julien for some reason is gripping Tomas's shoulders strongly. He has relieved himself several times in Tomas but he still feels like he needs to continue. He hears a loud sound, and a cry of pain, and he pulls out, his arms leaving Tomas's shoulders.
Tomas pulls himself into a sitting position, and Julien watches as he puts his shoulder painfully back in his socket. Julien hadn't even realized he did that, he can't even believe that he had done that. "How much do I owe you?" He blurts out, realizing that is not what he should have said.
"Just get the hell out!"
"Look, I am sorry..."He realizes that this probably could be considered a rape, since Tomas never technically agreed to it, and he could tell all the time, that he didn't want to really do this.
"Yeah, you may be sorry, but that is one of your problems, you can't go in fix things."
"I am sorry...I needed to release a little anger, but I shouldn't have done that to you..." he stops, thinking of something. "Don't you have someone you go to sometimes to help you relieve things?"
"No..." He says, getting off the couch, and walking into the kitchen. He doesn't want Julien to see him cry.
Julien grabs his shoulder, the one he didn't pull out of the socket, but not forcefully, as he is aware bruises are beginning to form on Tomas's shoulders. "So, there is no one you can turn to, for anything?"
"No..." Tomas sits besides him on the couch, so that Julien will take his arm off his shoulder. "I may have been able to trust you, if you had given me a chance." He feels tears pouring down his face. Julien reaches to dry his face, but Tomas pulls away. "Look, why don't you just leave, I was no good for you, I never was, you can pay me if you want, or don't...Just leave."
"What if I wanted to pay for longer...what if I wanted to stay here the whole night, we can talk." He can't believe he could do such a thing, and he feels even worse now, then when he came here. Tomas had been right a long time ago, it seemed, when he had accused him of abandoning him. He had in away, and he had never really made an effort to try to get to know Tomas, he was always more concerned with getting what he wanted, and trying to mold Tomas into the image that he had of him.
"Will you stop with this trying to fix me bullshit. Mistakes can't always be fixed. I was shattered long before you came along, and when I needed you, you abandoned me. But I should have known you would, everyone else does." He can't believe he was getting so upset, he had no reason to. He should have known from the beginning that Julien, though he said he did, probably never really cared for him. "Look, I don't know what your problem is Julien, you need to let whatever this stupid anger you have out, in more productive ways. You need to put more trust in God, he has given you a lot of stuff, you have a family now, a beautiful wife, a 10 year old child, a good job, though it doesn't come with much respect, but most jobs don't. You seem to hold a grudge since this world isn't picture perfect. Well, you have it more picture perfect than a lot of people, you only see the bad side, because you have to witness it everyday, you never have had to live through it.. Don't tell me you had, I know who your parents, and grandparents were, I grew up in this neighborhood just like you." He gets up, and walks into the kitchen quickly. He opens the fridge, and opens a bottle of beer. He drinks it quickly.
Julien is standing in the doorway, watching him. "I once accused you, of not knowing anything about me, but how come I never realized you knew so much about me."
"Let's not get into that...JUST LEAVE. You can't just win my trust over because you said you were sorry. I don't mind so much, that this time, you didn't give me any BS about why you came over tonight, but its all the other times. Look, I know the games you played, I played them myself. You have a chance to get out of this downward spiral, I don't..." He slams the fridge door, and makes his way past Julien to the bedroom. Julien hears the bedroom door slam, and then, sobbing.
He is about to knock on the door, but doesn't. He probably should leave, but something is compelling him to stay. He decides to tap on the door slightly.
It takes a few seconds before Tomas opens the door. "I told you..."
Julien pulls him into a hug. "I want you to trust me again, please let me stay here, and be here for you, and do what you want to do, if you will let me."
Author's note and Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, and I am doing them no harm. This is ficlet I was inspired to write after reading a description of an episode in Season 3. Also this ficlet has a NC-17 rating, and does contain violence, and adult content. Also, technically this is not a spoiler for Season three because I haven't seen it, yet. It's just inspired by it.
Julien Lowe comes to the small apartment. He probably should turn back, he has no real reason to be here. He doesn't want to spend a lonely night at home, though. Vanessa and Randall have gone for a week to visit with her parents in Detroit. He probably shouldn't even know this address. He had developed a network of criminals, today, just so he could get this address. The door seems familiar from the last door this person was at, it is a small door with a "No Solicitors" sign on it, in a large apartment complex. He raises his hand to knock on the door, but stops. He shouldn't even be here, to do what he is thinking of doing. He is suppose to have this part of his life behind him, but the truth is he hasn't, and he doesn't really know how to. The truth is the classes he goes to on Thursday night don't seem to help him some times.
He knocks on the door.
A man opens the door, clean shaven unlike the last time he saw him, wearing blue jean pants, and a Los Angeles Coroner souvenir shirt. "Hello." His voice is somewhat cold, after the last the few encounters with Julien. His mouth is formed into a smile. "I am not doing anything for you to arrest me officer."
"Actually, I heard you work as a pro sometimes."
The man stays in the doorway, not moving. Julien saying this doesn't make him any happier. "So, you're vice now, trying to catch me violating conditions of ...."
"That is not what I mean... I am off duty...I wanted to pay for your services. If that is alright with you, Tomas. " That didn't come out as Julien intended. It had too much anger in it. He sighs inwardly.
"Fine, if that's what you want." Tomas moves away from the door, so that Julien can come into the apartment. When he saw it was Julien, he wasn't expecting this. But it is nice that Julien didn't try to sugar coat their relationship, like he did the times before. Tomas probably was partially responsible for that. He closes the door behind Julien, watching him for a minute. His lips form into a small pout. Julien last time tried to tell him about that reprogrammed mumbo jumbo. "Let me guess, Wifie is out of town, and so you decided you needed a new toy."
Julien stops, wondering how Tomas could figure that out. He probably shouldn't ask. He feels himself getting angry, and he shouldn't do that. He has never really done this before, and this probably isn't fair to Tomas. A savage instinct takes over, and he pulls Tomas into an angry kiss, and pushes him towards the couch.
- - - Julien seems to be someone else, as he drives savagely into Tomas. Tomas, unlike times befores, seems to be just letting Julien do what he wants. He is not responding in any way, except for the physical reaction which he can't control. Julien for some reason is gripping Tomas's shoulders strongly. He has relieved himself several times in Tomas but he still feels like he needs to continue. He hears a loud sound, and a cry of pain, and he pulls out, his arms leaving Tomas's shoulders.
Tomas pulls himself into a sitting position, and Julien watches as he puts his shoulder painfully back in his socket. Julien hadn't even realized he did that, he can't even believe that he had done that. "How much do I owe you?" He blurts out, realizing that is not what he should have said.
"Just get the hell out!"
"Look, I am sorry..."He realizes that this probably could be considered a rape, since Tomas never technically agreed to it, and he could tell all the time, that he didn't want to really do this.
"Yeah, you may be sorry, but that is one of your problems, you can't go in fix things."
"I am sorry...I needed to release a little anger, but I shouldn't have done that to you..." he stops, thinking of something. "Don't you have someone you go to sometimes to help you relieve things?"
"No..." He says, getting off the couch, and walking into the kitchen. He doesn't want Julien to see him cry.
Julien grabs his shoulder, the one he didn't pull out of the socket, but not forcefully, as he is aware bruises are beginning to form on Tomas's shoulders. "So, there is no one you can turn to, for anything?"
"No..." Tomas sits besides him on the couch, so that Julien will take his arm off his shoulder. "I may have been able to trust you, if you had given me a chance." He feels tears pouring down his face. Julien reaches to dry his face, but Tomas pulls away. "Look, why don't you just leave, I was no good for you, I never was, you can pay me if you want, or don't...Just leave."
"What if I wanted to pay for longer...what if I wanted to stay here the whole night, we can talk." He can't believe he could do such a thing, and he feels even worse now, then when he came here. Tomas had been right a long time ago, it seemed, when he had accused him of abandoning him. He had in away, and he had never really made an effort to try to get to know Tomas, he was always more concerned with getting what he wanted, and trying to mold Tomas into the image that he had of him.
"Will you stop with this trying to fix me bullshit. Mistakes can't always be fixed. I was shattered long before you came along, and when I needed you, you abandoned me. But I should have known you would, everyone else does." He can't believe he was getting so upset, he had no reason to. He should have known from the beginning that Julien, though he said he did, probably never really cared for him. "Look, I don't know what your problem is Julien, you need to let whatever this stupid anger you have out, in more productive ways. You need to put more trust in God, he has given you a lot of stuff, you have a family now, a beautiful wife, a 10 year old child, a good job, though it doesn't come with much respect, but most jobs don't. You seem to hold a grudge since this world isn't picture perfect. Well, you have it more picture perfect than a lot of people, you only see the bad side, because you have to witness it everyday, you never have had to live through it.. Don't tell me you had, I know who your parents, and grandparents were, I grew up in this neighborhood just like you." He gets up, and walks into the kitchen quickly. He opens the fridge, and opens a bottle of beer. He drinks it quickly.
Julien is standing in the doorway, watching him. "I once accused you, of not knowing anything about me, but how come I never realized you knew so much about me."
"Let's not get into that...JUST LEAVE. You can't just win my trust over because you said you were sorry. I don't mind so much, that this time, you didn't give me any BS about why you came over tonight, but its all the other times. Look, I know the games you played, I played them myself. You have a chance to get out of this downward spiral, I don't..." He slams the fridge door, and makes his way past Julien to the bedroom. Julien hears the bedroom door slam, and then, sobbing.
He is about to knock on the door, but doesn't. He probably should leave, but something is compelling him to stay. He decides to tap on the door slightly.
It takes a few seconds before Tomas opens the door. "I told you..."
Julien pulls him into a hug. "I want you to trust me again, please let me stay here, and be here for you, and do what you want to do, if you will let me."