Part Ten
So hold me when I'm here
right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared,
you won't always be there,
So love me when I'm gone.
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A sickened gasp caught in Sephiroth's throat as he stood frozen, staring in front of him. Zack murmured incoherent thoughts at the sight, attempting to get the other man to move, to help. They were both disgusted, and rightly so, and now they weren't at all surprised to find out why the room had been set so far back and hidden so well.
Riku's limp body was strung to crossed beams on the wall, tied by his wrists and ankles, practically crucified. His head hung forward, lying against his chest, aqua eyes cracked open but inhumanly blank and dull, utterly lifeless.
Even the teen's skin was paler than normal, almost completely blanched, white enough to glow ethereally from the light of the torch. His clothes were dirtied and torn, blood randomly spattered along them, pants hanging off his body as if he had been hurriedly dressed - which was most likely the case.
Sephiroth was surprised to see that Ansem had bothered to dress Riku at all…
He stuck the torch in a nearby knothole on the floor when he finally broke out of his daze. Sephiroth charged forward to place his head on the boy's chest, listening for any signs of life. Riku's heartbeat was practically nonexistent, but he was still breathing, deathly shallow and ragged as it was. The teen's body was visibly straining to sustain life, and Sephiroth couldn't help but wonder how Riku had lasted so long with such a lack of oxygen. The heartbeat, on the other hand, Sephiroth chalked up to Ansem.
Ripping the Masamune from its sheath and with expert precision, the silver-haired man went on to slice through the ropes that bound the boy to the makeshift cross. Riku fell limply onto Sephiroth's chest, hair matted and dangling in his face, body desperately cold. Carelessly, the ex-General tossed the Masamune aside and collapsed onto the floor, cradling Riku in his lap, one strong arm supporting the back of the teenager's head.
"Riku, wake up," he stated quietly, a hand cupping the boy's chin. Riku's eyes moved slightly under his lids, but otherwise gave no other signs of life.
Sephiroth pulled a glove off with his teeth and again took the teenager's face in his hand, pale skin burning with cold. "Riku," Sephiroth said louder, trying to attract the boy's attention. He lightly tapped a round, white cheek with bare fingers, and tried again. "RIKU."
Still, the teen had no reaction to the strike, or the words.
/--Shit, Seph… his heart…--/
Sephiroth bit his lip and tilted the Riku's head back, searching his bruised neck for a pulse. It was still quite weak, and he knew he had to do something to help, but didn't know what he could have done. He shook Riku violently in attempts to jar him awake, but the silver-haired head only lolled lifelessly on his shoulders from the jostling, Riku's entire body limp.
"Riku, please wake up…"
Riku's lips moved just barely, mouthing words Sephiroth couldn't hear. He moved his ear close to the teen's face, but found the words were mute - air wasn't even pushing past his lips.
Quietly, Sephiroth asked, "…can you understand him, Zack?"
/--…no…--/
Sephiroth swore under his breath, pulling Riku's body up to his chest, holding him close. The boy's head rested on his shoulder, entire being a dead weight against him. The older man rocked back and forth, rubbing the teen's back in small circles as gently as possible. "Come on, Riku, please hear me…"
Riku took in a sharp breath and Sephiroth jumped, pulling him back to look in his face. His expression was a pained one, caught only for a brief moment before reverting back into its previous dead appearance. Sephiroth frowned and kissed the boy's cheek before resting his own on it, whispering in Riku's ear.
"I know you can hear me, Riku. Wake up." The older man's voice was shaky, filled with worry. Riku had a metallic, leaden smell to him that made Sephiroth cringe. It was a foreign and unpleasant scent, disgustingly thick and heavy, and something most definitely not human.
/--Come on, kid…,--/ Zack chipped in, even though his trying to rouse the boy would be useless. Sephiroth was the only one he knew of that could hear him, after all.
Sephiroth placed his hand on the back of the teenager's head, stroking his dulled silver hair. "Come back to me, Riku. Listen to my voice, please."
The boy's hand twitched on a badly bruised wrist but, as expected, stilled shortly after. The silver-haired man frowned at the rope burn on the delicate wrists, wondering how long it was that Riku had been hanging that way.
"Please, Riku."
/--He hears you, I know he does, just keep talking, do something…--/
"I'm trying," Sephiroth growled. He kissed the boy's ear and rocked again, rubbing his hand up and down the boy's back comfortingly. Jauntily, Riku's gloved hand twitched again on Sephiroth's leg.
"Riku. Be strong, Riku, you can survive this. Follow my voice, I can help you," the older one pleaded, placing his lips against Riku's ear once more and grimacing at that metallic scent.
Zack winced mentally as he blurted out, /--gods, Seph, don't make out with the kid!--/
Thankfully, his statement went unheeded as Sephiroth laid the boy into his lap, holding his cheek in one bare hand, thumb trailing on a delicate cheekbone.
/Come on, Riku, please come back,/ he thought, normally bright aqua eyes sad and pleading.
Riku's lips moved again, mouthing something breathlessly. Both his hands twitched as he blinked and expectedly fell quiescent soon afterwards. Sephiroth bent down and kissed the corner of the boy's mouth before thumping his forehead down onto Riku's chest, defeated.
"Please, don't make me sit idly by again," he murmured, voice strained and tired. "I cannot bear being weak, but that's all I am when I'm around you," Sephiroth whispered, trembling. He took in a ragged sigh and let it out, bringing his head up to place another kiss on Riku's lips before once again putting his forehead to the boy's chest.
Suddenly, Riku's head jerked to the side and rolled back.
/--What the fuck's happening with him…?--/
Sephiroth brought his head up then brought it down, thumping on Riku's chest repeatedly. He felt tears for the teenager rise once more but bit them back, unwilling to cry again for his own weakness.
/Riku, please wake UP!/
"DON'T!" Riku barked, entire body tensing, eyes opened impossibly wide and frightened. The silver-haired man's head snapped upwards as he sat the teenager in his lap, hand gripping the smaller one's delicate chin. "NO, SORA!"
"Riku!" Sephiroth shouted, shaking him. The teen's eyes darted back and forth rapidly, face contorted in a pained grimace, Riku's breaths coming in quick, shortened gasps. He spoke up again when the teen ignored him.
"Riku, answer me!"
Tears slid from Riku's eyes, his fists clenched tightly as he spoke. "No, no, gods Sora, why… don't… no, NO…"
Sephiroth shook the boy again. Receiving no response, he delivered a sharp slap to the deathly pale face, the sound crisp, leaving no echo on the hollow walls. "RIKU."
A thick tension filled the air, nearly visible as the place quaked suddenly. Sephiroth again pulled the boy to his body, head thrashing violently around the room, eyes narrowed to threatening slits. If it was Ansem coming to get Riku, Sephiroth vowed to himself that he would kill him, slow and brutally as the man deserved.
/--What's going on NOW?!--/
"So, you've awakened at last, Princess," Ansem's voice boomed, echoing through their surroundings, practically seeping through the wooden walls and floors. Again the room shook, more violently than before, sending a sprinkle of dust and splinters down on the two with silver hair.
/--GodDAMN him!!--/ Zack snarled angrily.
"What is he doing?!" Sephiroth growled, a vice-like grip on the boy in his arms. He couldn't see the vile amber-eyed man but could feel him, that disturbing presence permeating everything around him. Sephiroth took a breath, eyes trained at the doorway.
/--He's almost—--/
"The Keyhole is now complete," Ansem spoke up again. "You have served your purpose…"
/--THAT!--/
"SORA!!!" Riku screamed, thrashing wildly in the older man's arms. Sephiroth was nearly punched and kicked countless times at the boy's outburst, but somehow avoided blow after blow in such close contact. A loud cracking noise rumbled from the distance, jolting Sephiroth's entire being forward and nearly dropping Riku as a consequence.
/--Seph, let's get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!!--/
The silver-haired ex-General shot up, Riku in his arms. He went for the torch but thought better of it - he couldn't possibly hold the teen and the torch at the same time, especially if there was danger up ahead. Instead he snatched up the Masamune, leaving the room and dashing blindly down the long, dark hallway. Visibility was terribly poor for Sephiroth, even with his Mako-enhanced vision.
"…but now it's over."
Wherever they were started to deteriorate, breaking apart as the shaking occurred again, harsh and constant, a rain of planks and dirt fell upon them. Sephiroth tripped on a board that jutted out from the floor and lost his footing, dropping Riku and falling to the ground himself, both of them landing with hard thumps.
Riku was in the middle of another thrashing episode, screaming primitively, Sora's name passing from his lips nearly every other word. Sephiroth grunted and got to his feet, scooping Riku up and ignoring the blows he received for doing so - they weren't that bad to begin with, but they were starting…
He ran as fast as he could, the teen screaming in his ear loud enough to pierce his eardrums, until finally Sephiroth broke out of the wooden hallway, nearly slamming into the wall as he skidded across moss-covered stone. He spun gracefully and shot his foot behind him, effectively stopping them before they hit the hard wall.
Once his footing recovered, he dashed once again down that seemingly endless stone hallway, his wing flapping to accelerate his speed, the tips of his shoes the only part of his feet touching the ground.
He ran for what seemed like hours - though, in reality, mere seconds passed - and he stopped short as he came to the end of the long hall. The path he was following simply dropped off, beyond it nothing but a thick black void of writhing Darkness.
Sephiroth's jaw went slack, eyes wide as he stared.
"Oh, shit," Zack said through Sephiroth's mouth; but for once, the ex-General agreed with the sentiment.
Riku broke out of the older man's arms and fell to the floor, weakly struggling to pull himself to his hands and knees. Sephiroth dropped next to him, wrapping his arms protectively around the boy from behind, sitting them both on the floor, Riku in his lap.
"NO!!!" Riku shrieked, now completely awake. The mass of Darkness swirled angrily at the shout, purples flashing briefly a blinding white. "NO!!!"
The void pulsated vehemently, thick black cords shooting out from it, whipping in their direction in a vain attack. Sephiroth snarled at it, grip around Riku tightening as the teenager's shrieking grew impossibly louder.
"STAY BACK!!" the man ordered, causing the Darkness to cringe momentarily. "YOU WILL NOT TAKE THIS BOY AGAIN!!"
/--YEAH, YOU ROTTEN FUCKS!--/ Zack chided. His anger was so intense that the Darkness briefly took on his form, strong and proud against the black mass. Mentally, he raised an eyebrow.
/--…that was pretty cool.--/
"KAIRI!!!CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" the boy yelled, desperately.
The vortex whirled dangerously, emitting an audible shriek, bubbling and swirling. Riku tried to lash out at it but Sephiroth held him back, pinning one smaller arm behind his back with a grunt. The younger one kicked and screamed in protest and frustration, and once again the Darkness flashed white where its purples stood. Again the mass shrieked, whip-like cords retracting into the Darkness, and to Sephiroth it actually seemed… afraid…
"Impossible!" Ansem's voice exclaimed as white balls burst from within the mass, burning sizzling holes through it, leaving behind the same stench that had covered Riku.
"NO!!" Riku shrieked, "YOU WON'T USE ME FOR THIS!!"
Sephiroth stared at the boy who obviously saw something completely different than he was witnessing, disconcerting as it was. And still the teenager struggled still against him, grunting and screaming. Tears slid down Riku's face, falling from his chin and staining his dirtied yellow shirt.
"…Riku!…," a delicate voice called from the Darkness. It was barely audible but Sephiroth easily heard it, the sound sending a shiver down his spine. Riku shook his head violently, arms motioning in a hurried dismissive gesture.
"You've got to run!!" he shouted, leaning towards the Darkness, Sephiroth's arms slipping down around Riku's waist. "THE HEARTLESS ARE COMING!!!"
Then Sephiroth saw it. Dozens upon dozens of yellow-eyed creatures of all shapes and forms burst out from the vortex at an astonishing rate, snarling angrily at them before their bodies twisted, disappearing to their intended location.
Several breeds Sephiroth hadn't seen before popped out. Bodies, purple and winged, demon-like Heartless with evil-looking swords roared as they appeared, large Behemoths pounding up and out of the Darkness… winged hourglass-shaped Heartless flew up, leaving behind them lilac-colored tornadoes before teleporting away…
Riku looked as if he was trying to summon something into his hand as he shook his head, apparently fighting a battle with an enemy Sephiroth couldn't see or feel.
"Gods… oh, gods… where's Sora?!" the boy cried, falling back into the older man's chest. "Oh, gods… Sora…" Riku turned and threw his arms around Sephiroth's neck, face resting in the elegant crook, and whimpered pathetically, "gods, I can't feel Sora…"
Sephiroth let out a deep sigh and shook his head, rubbing the boy's back. "Whatever's happening, we need to leave," he stated, bringing them both to their feet. "It isn't safe here."
"I'm not leaving without Sora!" Riku shouted, eyes bloodshot and puffy. The ex-General noticed that even with all the hell the boy went through, the teenager still managed to stay true to his love, and his need to protect… something Sephiroth himself hadn't been strong enough to do.
Without warning, Riku's head snapped towards the pool of Darkness. White threads had woven their way through it, undoubtedly crippling it. Sephiroth noted that large holes had broken through its depths, the Darkness' appearance now more sponge-like than the liquid of before.
Riku shook his head in disbelief, bright aqua eyes wide in dismay.
"Oh, fuck…"
"What is it?" Sephiroth asked forcefully, a hand gripping Riku's arm.
"He's in there, FUCK… he's IN there!!" the silver-haired boy screamed, hands balled into fists. He jerked at his arm, pursing his lips as he looked at Sephiroth's hand with disdain. "I have to go!"
Sephiroth glared at him, eyes narrowed to slits. "What?!" he hissed, holding the teenager hard enough to bruise.
"I can't leave him, Seph! I can't… I have to help Sora!" Riku replied, face softening and threatening tears. He shook his head and bit his lip, tearing his eyes away from Sephiroth. "You have to leave." His tone was blunt and no-nonsense, confidence at what he must do lacing through it.
Sephiroth once more pulled Riku back towards him as the boy started to walk away. "The hell I'm going without you," he snarled, "I am not leaving you with Ansem again, and I will most definitely not allowyouto plunge yourself into that…"
"I have to!" Riku protested, grabbing Sephiroth's wrist in attempts to pry the man's much stronger hand off his own. "Let me go! I owe this to him!!"
"Then I'm going with you," the older man hissed through gritted teeth, face blazing angrily at Riku's defiance. The boy shook his head, hair whipping his face, and continued to tug at his arm.
"No. I have to do this on my own…" Riku swallowed and shook his head, the hand trying to loosen Sephiroth's grip falling away in defeat. "Please, Seph… please let me help him…"
Sephiroth scowled, eyes blazing angrily. "I already told you: you are not going, and that is final."
Without warning, Riku stepped forward and pressed himself against Sephiroth, grabbing a fistful of hair and pulling him down, kissing him hard on the lips. The ex-General's eyes went wide with shock as Riku slipped his tongue slip out to lap at his lips, causing Sephiroth to gasp. The boy took that chance to enter the man's mouth, a hand creeping up to stroke his wing, making the older man shudder.
/--What is he…?--/
Sephiroth's hand left Riku's wrist as he instinctively went to put his arm around that slender waist, needing to get him closer to his body. Anticipating this reaction, Riku put his plan into motion and broke away soon as the hand left his wrist, and quickly hopped back to conjure up the red and black demon-winged blade of before.
The teenager easily donned a fighting stance, one arm bent behind him and the other outstretched.
"I'm sorry for that, Seph," he said, the tip aimed at the older man's throat, "but you just don't get it… I have to do this." He licked his lower lip, shaking his head regretfully. "And I will hurt you if you try and grab me again…"
The older man stood breathless, clearly shocked at the turn of events. "Riku," he started, taking a step forward.
"No. You have to leave." The boy's face was cold, and dead serious. "Go find him, Seph… he's been waiting a long time to see you again." Riku's arm stayed outstretched as the man came closer, its deadly point threatening to pierce Sephiroth's flesh. "Summon a portal. He can help you find your way to Traverse Town," Riku said, gesturing towards the silver-haired man's head.
Zack sputtered. /--…ME?! How the hell does he know about me?!--/
"Riku… I…" The man started to reach out but stopped as the boy threatened to slash him, eyes hardened.
"Stop. Don't. Let me do this, Seph…" Riku's face was stoic, the same face the man himself wore in the days he served as the General, leading his troops into battlefields… and quite possibly to their deaths. "My Light needs me. And so does yours."
Sephiroth's aqua eyes softened, glossing over. He shook his head, mouth agape. He furrowed his eyebrows, gesturing with his hands as he spoke. "Riku, please, I can't let you—"
"Don't you remember Cloud, Seph? Cloud Strife?"
The man's eyes blazed in frustration. "Of course I do, Ri—"
"Then don't worry about me. He needs you more than I do." Not once did Riku's stance falter. He looked far older than his years at that moment, fiercely determined not to let anything stand in his way - Sephiroth was well aware that fighting him was a lost cause. After all, the boy and he were too much alike; stubborn to the bitter end.
Sephiroth let out an exasperated sigh and backed off, arm flicking out and summoning a portal. To his surprise, Riku was right - he was able to conjure one up again, in that place.
"You intend to do this, then?" the silver-haired man asked, turning away from Riku.
"I do."
"And it's futile for me to attempt to convince you otherwise?"
Riku nodded. "Yeah."
Sephiroth nodded slightly and straightened himself, arms clenched by his sides. He checked briefly to see if everything was in order before he left Riku behind, seeing him quite possibly for the last time.
"So be it."
Sephiroth took a brief look behind him at the boy, still standing with his arm outstretched. He was beautiful in his stance, though bruised and broken, clothes dirtied with filth and gore. Riku was nearly pure-white, his hair dull, limply hanging in his bright aqua eyes. But he glowed with an inner light which burned with love and strength, the will to accomplish what he wanted, the need to save the one that he loved.
Sephiroth sighed, setting his jaw. He cared more about the boy in the short time they had spent together than he had cared about most others he'd known and worked with for years, with the exception of only Cloud and Zack…
Biting back a growl, Sephiroth spun on his heel, afraid the boy would see his eyes glassing over with more of those damnable tears. "Goodbye, then, Riku," he stated, voice wavering just slightly. "Safe journey," he added as an afterthought, clenching his fists.
"See you, Seph… good luck." Sephiroth nodded shortly.
"You understand I'd rather you not do this," he said, the boy staring at the back of his head.
"I know."
The silver-haired man bit his lip before he stepped through the portal, finished with those worthless goodbyes.
With Sephiroth gone, Riku turned and walked straight down the hall, determined. Tossing the red and black blade aside with a clang, he flicked his wrist and conjured up the dark Keyblade left behind by Ansem. Fearlessly he treaded into the Darkness, head held high and set in determination, one hand holding his own lethal-looking Keyblade, and a large, bluish-black feather clutched in his other.
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A tangle of crimson, gold, green, black and blue writhed on the cobblestone and plank Gummi dock in Traverse Town, half of it screaming, the other half laughing. Legs and arms flew in the air as a diminutive blonde engaged in a vain struggle to throw an even smaller offender off his back.
Leon's eyebrow arched as he watched the spectacle with his arms crossed, standing in the doorway of the Tiny Bronco. His grey-blue eyes cast a sidelong glance at the gruff, foul-mouthed pilot to his left, the man laying kiss after kiss on the side of his precious pink Gummi, arms spread wide in attempts to hug it. The brunette dropped his head back and sighed. Aerith wasn't around, so he was surrounded by…
…the insane ones.
"Get off me!!"
"NO!" Yuffie shrieked, giggling like a three-year old.
Cloud screamed angrily. Yuffie had wrapped herself around his waist in an impossible position, somehow locking her legs and her arms together, refusing to let go of him. The teenage ninja had tackled him as soon as his foot stepped outside the ship's portal in an overly-excited greeting which had sent the both of them to the ground.
"Is my baby safe? My baby's back home, I love ya so much…," Cid cooed dreamily.
Leon drew his eyebrows together, a little disturbed as he watched the pilot talking to his ship.
"Goddammit, Yuffie, get off!!" Cloud growled, clawed hand dangerously close to poking the girl's eye out. For someone so small, the ninja was very strong, and her small stature only aided her speed and agility. And, Leon suspected her lack of clothing also helped that aspect…
"Can I get down?" the scarred man asked with a sigh, foot tapping impatiently. His request went ignored. Giving an aggravated grunt, Leon jumped gracefully from the Bronco and landed almost a yard away from the two younger people on the ground.
"Yuffie, please," Leon growled, glaring at her.
The ninja girl quickly stopped shrieking. Her head poked up and over Cloud's side, the man now on his hands and knees, very much trying to get to his feet. "Oh, hiya, Squall! GACK!" she yelped as Cloud kneed her swiftly in the ribs, finally managing to tear her tiny yet viselike arms away.
Cloud toppled backwards and fell hard onto his ass, legs splayed comically.
"…ow."
Leon rolled his eyes as Yuffie bounced up, trotting behind the brunette before she swung her arms around his neck this time, latching her legs around his hips, the force of her bear-hug attack nearly pitching him forward.
"So how'd the tournament go?" she chirped at the blonde from behind her partner. Leon made a face and tilted his head to get his ear away from the girl's high-pitched voice.
Cloud glared at her. "I lost, and never do that again." The sullen blonde got up and angrily brushed himself off.
"Thanks fer not fuckin' her up," Cid said towards Cloud, resting a stubbly cheek on the side of the Tiny Bronco.
"You didn't have to worry anyway, Leon's a great pilot," Cloud murmured, an eye threatening to wink at the grumpy brunette.
"Shit yeah he is, trained by the best."
The blonde warrior looked around, arms crossed. "…where's Aerith?"
"She's doin' some stuff," Yuffie answered, attempting to nuzzle the neck of a thoroughly confused Leon. Cloud raised an eyebrow at the older man, receiving a shrug in response. "I'm glad you're back," she purred in the ex-SeeD's ear.
Cloud blinked.
"Give it a rest, fuckin' thief," the pilot grunted, lighting a cigarette. "I gotta get outta here, that goddamn woman's been drivin' me nuts all day, with y'all gone." Cid turned to address the Tiny Bronco. "Bye-bye, baby."
And with that the gruff pilot left, making his way to his Garage, pulling a fresh cigarette from the pack tucked underneath his goggles.
Cloud sighed and grabbed the ninja, pulling her off their friend's back. "What's with you today?"
Yuffie bounced, giving the two men staring at her a wide smile. "I'm happy!"
"…why?" Leon asked as he took a few steps back and away from the hug-happy teenager, arms crossing once more.
The girl merely gave him an obvious wink before blowing a kiss.
A single blonde eyebrow raised critically, and Yuffie frowned. "What?"
Cloud shook his head, spikes in his face brushing over his deep blue eyes. "Nothing." A palm rested against his forehead as a sudden wave of dizziness rushed through him, head reeling. "…dammit."
"The concussion?" The mercenary nodded.
Yuffie's eyes went wide. "Omigods, I'm sorry Spike! I didn't know you were hurt and stuff!" she said quickly, a guilty expression on her face. She hooked the blonde's arm in her own as she ushered the two men away from the boarding dock, making her way quickly through the bustling activity of the brightly-lit First District, taking the steps in front of the Accessory Shop nearly three at a time.
"I'll be fine if you just stop for one damn minute," Cloud grunted, face pained as the girl dragged him behind her, his feet threatening to tangle themselves with each hurried pace. Leon reached out and took him by his free wrist, stopping the other two parties, both of them flopping backwards into each other in a slightly comical manner.
"Hey!"
"I can handle it, Yuffie."
The girl pouted, yanking Cloud's arm again. "So can I!" she replied, tone very close to that of a stubborn child's.
"Really. And whose house are you bringing him to?" Leon asked, eyebrow raised, cocking his head to the side. "Mine. Just let me take care of this." Yuffie's pout deepened as she stomped her orange-booted foot on the cobblestone road, huffing.
"Why are you bein' so freakin' jerky?"
The brunette let out a sigh, gesturing towards Cloud, the blonde's face unusually pale, sweat beading up on his brow. The only color he had on his face were two bright spots of a fevered pink on his delicate cheeks. Still not recovered fully from the concussion - which Yuffie's playful assault had only aggravated - Cloud, frankly, looked like hell.
"Do you think he looks like he should be dragged through Town in his condition?"
Yuffie huffed again, letting the gloved arm go. It fell limply to Cloud's side, hand thumping against his hip armor with a dull clank. "Fine. If I knew you were gonna be such a… a… a curmudgeon, I wouldn't have come out to greet you guys in the first place!"
Looking at the girl through heavy, half-lidded eyes, Cloud asked in disbelief, "…a curmudgeon?"
"Oh, whatever!" the ninja girl grumbled, sticking her tongue out at Cloud and Leon. "You guys suck… fine, I'm just gonna leave."
She turned on a heel and stormed off, muttering obscenities sullenly while shaking a fist, free hand absently reaching for the Conformer strapped to her back.
Leon led Cloud over to a nearby bench where two old, grey-haired inhabitants of Traverse Town were shuffling away cautiously, intimidated by the sight of the stone-faced man in leather and the pale, glowing-eyed blonde.
Thankful for the respite, Cloud sat down graciously, setting his head between his knees to fight off a wave of nausea.
"Don't get worked up anymore," the brunette said calmly, standing in front of the spiky-haired warrior. "You're not healed yet."
"No shit," Cloud muttered, sucking in a breath of air. "That wasn't my fault anyway."
The ex-SeeD watched the blonde as he sat on the bench, plagued by dizziness. Cloud didn't look good at all; his skin too ashen, contrasting rather grossly with his dark crimson mantle, his hands shaking a bit from his previous exertion.
After a while, Leon patted Cloud on his unarmored shoulder, making him look up. "Come on, you need to rest."
With a sigh, shaky legs lifted Cloud from his perch. "Since when did you get all motherly?" he asked, voice a bit ruder than he meant it to be. Leon frowned.
"I'm allowed to be compassionate."
Cloud mumbled an apology as the older man took his arm and draped it across his own leather-clad shoulders, allowing the blonde to lean on him for support. The two walked slowly through First District, stopping every once in a while when Cloud got dizzy. The two misfits received odd stares as they walked through, arms over each other's shoulders, Traverse inhabitants no doubt getting the wrong idea about helpful Mr. Leonhart and the pretty blonde man he'd been living with for a while.
After finally getting back to the home they now shared, Leon carefully placed the small blonde into his bed, removing all unnecessary accessories before covering him with a thick blanket. "Stay there for however long you need," he said to the drowsy blonde. "And don't get up when I'm not here."
Cloud nodded, eyes drifting closed.
"I'm going to get our things from the Gummi ship," Leon stated, "I'll be back in a little while."
"…okay." Cloud shifted, burying himself down into the soft, warm bed that smelled just like Leon. He heard the older man retreat to the doorway, leather shifting against cloth as he turned back, watching the blonde in his bed.
[…is he… staring at me?]
He could feel Leon's penetrating gaze on him and squirmed uncomfortably, wondering exactly what thoughts were running through the other man's head. He kept his eyes closed but couldn't fall asleep with the gorgeous, scarred warrior's eyes on him.
Leon stood a few more minutes, appraising Cloud. With a soft sigh he shook his head and left the room, heels clacking against the floor of his kitchen and out of the small house.
The blonde rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in the other man's pillow and breathed in deeply. […dammit, Leon, why do you send me these weird signals?] Cloud rubbed his face on the soft pillowcase, smiling in contentment, then snickered. [Haven't been in another guy's bed in a while…]
He cracked an eye open, examining the room absently before closing it again. Cloud fell asleep within minutes, comfortable and warm in the gracious brunette's bed.
During his slumber, Cloud dreamt again, this time of the years he spent as ShinRa trooper, as well as a prospective SOLDIER candidate. He saw the barracks where he lived and the exact bunk he slept in, set against a far wall; and laying there on the top was the younger version of himself curled up on it. Cloud was reminded of the roommates he was supposed to become friends with - or at least cooperate with… but instead of being even halfway decent to him, all they did was make fun of him; his size, his girlish appearance, his hair…
Everywhere Cloud lived, he was mocked unjustly. He hadn't bothered anyone when he was younger, merely minded his own business, spoke only when spoken to, never went out of turn. He followed all the rules and obeyed what was asked of him, understood boundaries and reason. Cloud was exceptionally smart with his studies in school, though most never knew it, since he was always too shy to answer problems during classes unless called upon, and even then they were shakily done.
The dream flashed forward. Physical training during his time as a recruit was excruciatingly demanding for him. He watched his instructor chiding his former self, small and weak, singling him out because he couldn't complete set upon set of pushups like the other, stronger boys. Though his upper-body strength wasn't the best, he more than made up for it in agility and cat-like speed, even comparable to that of Sephiroth's.
But none of that mattered. In his dream he saw himself walking down crowded hallways of the SOLDIER building, head hung low, tears stinging at his eyes. Even during those simple walks he was bullied, pushed or picked on, but never said a word or tried to defend himself. The day in the dream was the same one he was first turned down for SOLDIER, as well as the day he met Zack.
Cloud decided to stay in the program for three reasons. The first was simple - he made a promise to himself. He couldn't return home until he was a SOLDIER First Class, to be stronger, to protect Tifa. The second was because of Zack. The black-haired man who befriended him offered to help him become better, help him train. And, well… Zack was friends with the third reason Cloud couldn't leave SOLDIER.
He'd fallen in love with Sephiroth.
He again saw himself in his bunk, mentally berating himself for loving that unattainable silver-haired god, the great General. He never even met the man, never even spoke to him, but he just had that feeling he knew wasn't simple hero-worship like so many others had. He knew it was stupid, but it was love, even though the only times he'd actually seen him in person were during random assemblies, delivering speeches, or catching a glimpse of the long coat and hair flowing behind him as he made his way down hallways, never in his direction.
The dream flashed to a new scene, after a particularly heavy sparring match with Zack. The blonde had had immediately hit it off with the man since he bumped into the him in the hallway, he figured roughly a month prior. Zack was exuberant, with a perpetual smile on his face, but had the ability to turn serious and business-like at the drop of a hat. As Cloud laid on the gym mats, defeated, Zack let the blonde in on his plans of meeting the General later that night for drinks, and invited him along.
Cloud watched his dream-self's eyes widen in horror, face burning a red so fierce it was nearly purple. Zack laughed, throwing his head back, tone smooth and unrestrained as well as pleasantly masculine. And when he finally settled, he told the boy that Sephiroth - or Seph, as Zack always referred to him - was looking forward to meeting the shy blonde he had taken under his wing.
The teenager's eyes welled up with tears of joy and embarrassment as he shook his head vehemently, telling his friend he could never go, since he would only make a fool of himself… even though he desperately wanted to, just to meet the man he loved.
Of course, he left out the latter part. But Zack knew.
Reluctantly, the blonde agreed when his dark-haired friend tackled him and pinned him to the floor, absolutely refusing to let him up until he did. Cloud smiled lightly as he watched the vision of his old friend, full of sadness and regret. He regretted that he lived on the way to Midgar, and Zack hadn't…
Zack always was the stronger one, the friendlier one, the all-around better one. He was everything Cloud had wanted to be, and more. The SOLDIER was respected and had respect, never looked down on anyone unless they truly deserved it. He would stand up for his friends and strangers alike; it was his nature. The black-haired man was always willing to put his life on the line for others, to protect the weak, aide the strong.
His never-ending cheer and good-will was unmatched by anyone else Cloud knew, surpassing even Aerith herself. She never really knew Zack, Cloud realized that much… but his friend was devoted to her, and Cloud knew he loved her, but his involvement with ShinRa was too much for her. Aerith was the last living Cetra, a constant target for Professor Hojo, and, as Zack had relayed to Cloud, if Hojo knew of her and the SOLDIER's relationship…
The blonde loved Zack, and Zack loved Cloud. The two were like brothers, and the years in the lab they had become almost unbearably close, nearly developing a psychic bond. And then, after five long years, Zack again put himself at risk, because he had to get Cloud out of there, the experiments and testing too gruesome and brutal for the younger man to take any longer.
His dream flashed forward to that time, Cloud's lifeless body heavy against Zack's side as he dragged them up and out of the basement of ShinRa Mansion, out of Nibelheim, hitchhiking on trucks from gracious drivers, stowing away on a boat from Costa del Sol to sail across the ocean.
And they nearly made it. There was only a short way to go, they saw - or rather, Zack saw - the dark and dreary area of Midgar from the top of the cliff. And then…
"…Cloud?"
The blonde gasped and shot up, the soft hand on his shoulder shocking him out of his sleep. A calloused thumb dragged over a wet cheekbone, drying away the flowing tears. Cloud's bottom lip quivered as he broke down, burying his face in the other man's broad chest, sobbing.
"Why are you crying?" Leon asked softly, one leather-gloved hand rubbing circles on his back soothingly, the other on his own knee. The blonde warrior simply shook his head and cried, dampening the older man's pure white t-shirt. Leon frowned, resting his head on soft golden spikes.
"…it's too hard…," Cloud choked out, grabbing a fistful of Leon's leather coat. "…I can't forget… I can't… he died, and it's all my fault, Leon…"
The older man's frown deepened. "Stop… don't think that way." Cloud sniffled, taking in a ragged breath before a fresh wave of sobs shook his body. Leon bit his lip, debating on pulling the younger man into his arms and holding him close or to just sit and watch. "I don't know what happened to you, but…," he shook his head, his inner voice screaming 'hypocrite!' at him. "…stop beating yourself up."
"…I killed them both…," Cloud whispered between tear-choked sobs. "…but he's alive… but he's… not… I won't see him ever again…"
"Cloud…" Leon went ignored.
"…why couldn't it have been me… it should have been me, I was the one who deserved it… he… he was…"
"That isn't true…"
The small warrior was wallowing in anguish too deep to be pulled out of for the time, and the brunette sighed, deciding to just let Cloud let it all out, no matter how self-loathing the things he said. So instead of stopping him, Leon continued to rub Cloud's back gently before placing a tentative kiss on top of the other man's head.
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A/N: Chapter revised 7/11/04, 500 words…
Aww, kissy-kissy lovey-dovey ANGST!! Muahaha. Excellent. Pointless Seph/Riku too, eh? EH? No, Seph's not the type to give up easily without Riku having to do something drastic. And sexy. Besides, Seph/Riku is grossly hot, despite their obvious similarities… and big age difference… and the fact that it would probably never ever happen in the game's storyline but like I really care about that, I have a silver-hair fetish, shut up.