I don't own South Park or the Beaver. I pity the people who owned the Beaver..
The next day, at Peter's tryouts, early in the morning..
Peter walks to the coach's house. He walks up to the door and rings the doorbell.
The coach opens the door.
"Hey. I'm here to retake my tryouts. You said I should meet you here at 10:00." Peter says.
"It's 4:00 in the morning, and I said you should meet me at the highschool." The coach explains.
"No way! I checked my clock!" Peter says.
Flashback...
Peter is staring at the thermometer.
Flashback ends.
"Fine, just let me have breakfast. " The coach says.
Later, Peter and the coach are in the kitchen. The coach is eating breakfast...
Peter is staring at a Felix Clock (one of those with revolving eyes and a swinging tail) hanging on the wall. "Something is wrong with your cat."
"That's my clock."
"No, that's your clock.." Peter says, pointing to a thermometer on the wall.
After breakfast, Peter and the coach go into the backyard for tryouts...
"You'll play against my son, Tod." The coach says, patting Tod on the shoulder.
Peter watches the coach pat Tod on the shoulder. "Incest freak." Peter mutters.
Skips to Peter and Tod playing volleyball...
Peter serves and Tod spikes it back.
Peter leaps and stops in mid-air. Peter spins, very similar the Matrix. As the ball nears Peter, his flab stretches and slaps the ball back to Tod.
Tod is shocked at Peter's "Matrix" stunt and the ball hits him in the face, knocking him over.
The coach walks up to Peter, ignoring Tod. "Good job, Peter. You've got a spot on the team."
The coach pats Peter on the back and is instantly sucked in.
Later, at Peter's first volleyball game...
Peter's team stands in a huddle.
"Alright team- We're playing against the Anorexic Badgers." The coach says.
Cuts to a locker room full of badgers, each dressing into volleyball suits.
One stands in front of the mirror. "Look at you, fatty!! Your so god damn fat!!" He says in a slightly gay voice. He cries and runs into a bathroom. The other badgers hear vomiting.
Cuts back to Peter's team, the Purple Hornets, standing on the volleyball court.
They are parallel to the Vomiting Badgers, which are not actual vomiting badgers.
The rest of the Griffins are in the stands.
"Go Peter!" Lois shouts.
A man from behind looks at Lois. "Who's Peter?" He asks.
"Oh, he's my husband." Lois says.
The man looks at Meg, mistaking her for Lois's husband. "I thought his name was Meg."
Cuts back to the volleyball court.
"Ready? Play!" The ref says, backing away from the court.
A girl in the VB (Vomiting Badgers) serves the ball. It is tossed back and forth for a while.
Finally, Peter has the ball. He spikes it and wins the game.
The PH (Purple Hornets) shout in victory, as well as the crowd. The crowd applauds.
"The Badgers smell like poo!" Chris shouts.
Stewie tugs at Chris's shirt. "Whoa, whoa.. Calm down buddy. No need to get stingy. Get it? Stingy? Hornets?" There is a long silence. "Aw, screw it."
The PH pick up Peter to parade him in victory, but are instantly crushed beneath him.
Later, in the boy's locker room...
Peter is taking a shower with the other boys, who are all looking at him awkwardly.
"Is that.. Is that Chris Farley?" One boy whispers to the boy next to him.
"Don't say anything." The boy next to him says.
A boy next to Peter, Jim, looks Peter over. "What are you doing here, old timer?"
"I'm on the girl's team." Peter explains.
"But you're a guy."
"You're just jealous that I won."
"You're too fat for.. me to... be.. jealous." Jim says, not really able to think of an insult.
"Are you calling me fat?"
"No." Jim says sarcastically.
Peter smiles. "Thanks." He says, not noticing Jim's sarcasm.
Later, when the Griffin's get home...
Meg, Chris, Stewie, and Brian all go upstairs for bed. Peter and Lois stand at the end of the stairs.
"Congratulations on winning, Peter. You know, I've got a surprise for you.." Lois says, smiling seductively.
Lois unbuttons her shirt, revealing nothing underneath.
"Aww! You are so sweet! They are absolutely precious! Can I hold them?" Peter says.
Later, 12:00 at night...
Peter wakes up, hearing splatting and obnoxious shouting from teenage guys. He gets out of bed and looks out the window, which is being pelted with eggs by a bunch of guys from the boy's volleyball team.
"Get off the team, fatty!" One shouts.
"Well, eh.. Get off my lawn, pimply!" Peter shouts back.
"I can't help if I have an excessive quantity of acne! That Neutrogena crap doesn't work! Neither does Clean & Clear.. But Dove works! Yeah! Go suck on that!"
The next day at breakfast...
Peter looks rather gloomy. He sighs.
"What's wrong Peter? You don't look very happy. And where's Lois?" Brian asks.
"Last night the boy's volleyball team pelted the house with eggs. Lois is outside cleaning up."
Cuts to Lois polishing their window.
Suddenly a volleyball boy rides up on his bike and throws an egg at the window, hitting Lois.
"Sorry!" He shouts.
"You're late. They already egged us last night." Lois shouts back.
"Oh.. Well, do you know when the next meeting is?" He shouts back.
Cuts back to the Griffins (except Lois) at the table...
"That's terrible. Why'd they do it?" Brian asks.
"'Cause I'm fat and I'm on the girls team."
There is a long silence.
"Don't let them discourage you." Brian says, hoping to encourage him.
"You're right, Brian!" Peter stands up. "I should fulfill my dreams! I won't let them stand in the way of my victory!"
"I never said that." Brian says.
A few days later at the next volleyball game...
After a quick game, Peter triumphs again. Peter continuously wins games, clips of his victories are shown.
To celebrate, Peter goes to the drunken clam with his buddies: Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. They are sitting at their usual table, all drinking beer.
They all raise their mugs to a toast. "To Peter and his victories in the Purple Hornets volleyball team!" Cleveland says. They clash their mugs and drink.
"Wow, guys. This is really thoughtful of you."
"Well, you know. We try." Quagmire says.
Flashback...
Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are all in a ranch with a unicorn prancing around Peter.
"Wow, guys. This is really thoughtful of you." Peter says, petting the unicorn.
Flashback ends.
"Peter, we got you a present." Joe pulls out a medium-sized, gift-wrapped present from beneath the table.
Peter instantly unwraps it, and reveals a golden volleyball.
"Sweet! Thanks, guys!" Peter says.
"If there were two of them, they would look like breasts." Quagmire says. Everyone stares at him.
"What.. No one noticed?" Quagmire says.
Before the next volleyball game..
Peter walks up to the coach, the rest of the PH following him. "Hey, coach. Can I use my gold volleyball? I think it's good luck."
"How do you know it's good luck?"
"Rub it." Peter says.
The coach rubs it. "I don't feel anything."
Peter chuckles and looks back at the rest of the team. "It looks like he's rubbing my balls." The rest of the team laugh.
Later, at the beginning of the game...
Peter holds the golden volleyball, which he had convinced the coach to use.
"Ready? Serve!" The ref shouts, backing away into the stands and tripping.
Cuts to the stands.
Suddenly the Cleaver's appear, from the show "The Beaver." "Hey, look dad! Swell, a ref! Can I keep it?" The beaver says.
"No, son. It's probably dead by now."
Cuts back to the game.
As the game goes on, the boy's volleyball team is in the stands booing the PH.
Peter is obviously distracted, barely missing a serve.
He misses a serve, losing the game on acount of the boy's team booing him.
Somehow the ref awoke and now enters the court. "And the Swollen Kneecaps win!"
Cuts to the Swollen Kneecaps, with actual abnormally swollen knees. Some are shouting in victory.
Two of them are having a conversation. "Isn't is coincidential that our team name is the Swollen Kneecaps, when we actually have swollen kneecaps?" One says.
"No." Says the other.
Later, in the car with the Griffins...
"Lois, I'm thinking of quitting the team." Peter says.
"You can't quit! You just lost one game."
"I know, but those volleyball boys are discouraging me."
"Listen- If the boys were to egg our car at this exact moment, I'll let you quit the team." Lois compromises.
Instantly the car is pelted with eggs. The volleyball boys ride away on their bikes, laughing.
"What a coincidence. You should have said something different." Brian says.
"Like: 'If Peter was to get skinny at this exact moment, he could quit the team'?" Peter suggests. Instantly he is skinny. "Sweet!"
The next day, Peter goes to the coach's house...
Peter rings the doorbell and the coach opens the door. "Peter? What do you want?"
"I'm quitting the team."
"Oh.. That's too bad. We'll miss you."
"Like I haven't heard that before..." Peter says.
Peter has a flashback...
"Behind the Scenes: Friends" appears.
"The cast member you didn't know about.." A voice says.
Peter appears, hugging the cast of Friends.
"We'll miss you." Jennifer Aniston says.
Flashback ends.
"I'm gonna need your uniform." The coach says, which coincidentally Peter is wearing.
"Oookay.." Peter says, beginning to undress.
"Not now dammit!" The coach exclaims, shielding his eyes.
The end of chapter 4 and Peterball.
I hope you enjoyed my first script of Family Guy! Please write more reviews! I'd love more encouragement! =)
The next day, at Peter's tryouts, early in the morning..
Peter walks to the coach's house. He walks up to the door and rings the doorbell.
The coach opens the door.
"Hey. I'm here to retake my tryouts. You said I should meet you here at 10:00." Peter says.
"It's 4:00 in the morning, and I said you should meet me at the highschool." The coach explains.
"No way! I checked my clock!" Peter says.
Flashback...
Peter is staring at the thermometer.
Flashback ends.
"Fine, just let me have breakfast. " The coach says.
Later, Peter and the coach are in the kitchen. The coach is eating breakfast...
Peter is staring at a Felix Clock (one of those with revolving eyes and a swinging tail) hanging on the wall. "Something is wrong with your cat."
"That's my clock."
"No, that's your clock.." Peter says, pointing to a thermometer on the wall.
After breakfast, Peter and the coach go into the backyard for tryouts...
"You'll play against my son, Tod." The coach says, patting Tod on the shoulder.
Peter watches the coach pat Tod on the shoulder. "Incest freak." Peter mutters.
Skips to Peter and Tod playing volleyball...
Peter serves and Tod spikes it back.
Peter leaps and stops in mid-air. Peter spins, very similar the Matrix. As the ball nears Peter, his flab stretches and slaps the ball back to Tod.
Tod is shocked at Peter's "Matrix" stunt and the ball hits him in the face, knocking him over.
The coach walks up to Peter, ignoring Tod. "Good job, Peter. You've got a spot on the team."
The coach pats Peter on the back and is instantly sucked in.
Later, at Peter's first volleyball game...
Peter's team stands in a huddle.
"Alright team- We're playing against the Anorexic Badgers." The coach says.
Cuts to a locker room full of badgers, each dressing into volleyball suits.
One stands in front of the mirror. "Look at you, fatty!! Your so god damn fat!!" He says in a slightly gay voice. He cries and runs into a bathroom. The other badgers hear vomiting.
Cuts back to Peter's team, the Purple Hornets, standing on the volleyball court.
They are parallel to the Vomiting Badgers, which are not actual vomiting badgers.
The rest of the Griffins are in the stands.
"Go Peter!" Lois shouts.
A man from behind looks at Lois. "Who's Peter?" He asks.
"Oh, he's my husband." Lois says.
The man looks at Meg, mistaking her for Lois's husband. "I thought his name was Meg."
Cuts back to the volleyball court.
"Ready? Play!" The ref says, backing away from the court.
A girl in the VB (Vomiting Badgers) serves the ball. It is tossed back and forth for a while.
Finally, Peter has the ball. He spikes it and wins the game.
The PH (Purple Hornets) shout in victory, as well as the crowd. The crowd applauds.
"The Badgers smell like poo!" Chris shouts.
Stewie tugs at Chris's shirt. "Whoa, whoa.. Calm down buddy. No need to get stingy. Get it? Stingy? Hornets?" There is a long silence. "Aw, screw it."
The PH pick up Peter to parade him in victory, but are instantly crushed beneath him.
Later, in the boy's locker room...
Peter is taking a shower with the other boys, who are all looking at him awkwardly.
"Is that.. Is that Chris Farley?" One boy whispers to the boy next to him.
"Don't say anything." The boy next to him says.
A boy next to Peter, Jim, looks Peter over. "What are you doing here, old timer?"
"I'm on the girl's team." Peter explains.
"But you're a guy."
"You're just jealous that I won."
"You're too fat for.. me to... be.. jealous." Jim says, not really able to think of an insult.
"Are you calling me fat?"
"No." Jim says sarcastically.
Peter smiles. "Thanks." He says, not noticing Jim's sarcasm.
Later, when the Griffin's get home...
Meg, Chris, Stewie, and Brian all go upstairs for bed. Peter and Lois stand at the end of the stairs.
"Congratulations on winning, Peter. You know, I've got a surprise for you.." Lois says, smiling seductively.
Lois unbuttons her shirt, revealing nothing underneath.
"Aww! You are so sweet! They are absolutely precious! Can I hold them?" Peter says.
Later, 12:00 at night...
Peter wakes up, hearing splatting and obnoxious shouting from teenage guys. He gets out of bed and looks out the window, which is being pelted with eggs by a bunch of guys from the boy's volleyball team.
"Get off the team, fatty!" One shouts.
"Well, eh.. Get off my lawn, pimply!" Peter shouts back.
"I can't help if I have an excessive quantity of acne! That Neutrogena crap doesn't work! Neither does Clean & Clear.. But Dove works! Yeah! Go suck on that!"
The next day at breakfast...
Peter looks rather gloomy. He sighs.
"What's wrong Peter? You don't look very happy. And where's Lois?" Brian asks.
"Last night the boy's volleyball team pelted the house with eggs. Lois is outside cleaning up."
Cuts to Lois polishing their window.
Suddenly a volleyball boy rides up on his bike and throws an egg at the window, hitting Lois.
"Sorry!" He shouts.
"You're late. They already egged us last night." Lois shouts back.
"Oh.. Well, do you know when the next meeting is?" He shouts back.
Cuts back to the Griffins (except Lois) at the table...
"That's terrible. Why'd they do it?" Brian asks.
"'Cause I'm fat and I'm on the girls team."
There is a long silence.
"Don't let them discourage you." Brian says, hoping to encourage him.
"You're right, Brian!" Peter stands up. "I should fulfill my dreams! I won't let them stand in the way of my victory!"
"I never said that." Brian says.
A few days later at the next volleyball game...
After a quick game, Peter triumphs again. Peter continuously wins games, clips of his victories are shown.
To celebrate, Peter goes to the drunken clam with his buddies: Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. They are sitting at their usual table, all drinking beer.
They all raise their mugs to a toast. "To Peter and his victories in the Purple Hornets volleyball team!" Cleveland says. They clash their mugs and drink.
"Wow, guys. This is really thoughtful of you."
"Well, you know. We try." Quagmire says.
Flashback...
Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are all in a ranch with a unicorn prancing around Peter.
"Wow, guys. This is really thoughtful of you." Peter says, petting the unicorn.
Flashback ends.
"Peter, we got you a present." Joe pulls out a medium-sized, gift-wrapped present from beneath the table.
Peter instantly unwraps it, and reveals a golden volleyball.
"Sweet! Thanks, guys!" Peter says.
"If there were two of them, they would look like breasts." Quagmire says. Everyone stares at him.
"What.. No one noticed?" Quagmire says.
Before the next volleyball game..
Peter walks up to the coach, the rest of the PH following him. "Hey, coach. Can I use my gold volleyball? I think it's good luck."
"How do you know it's good luck?"
"Rub it." Peter says.
The coach rubs it. "I don't feel anything."
Peter chuckles and looks back at the rest of the team. "It looks like he's rubbing my balls." The rest of the team laugh.
Later, at the beginning of the game...
Peter holds the golden volleyball, which he had convinced the coach to use.
"Ready? Serve!" The ref shouts, backing away into the stands and tripping.
Cuts to the stands.
Suddenly the Cleaver's appear, from the show "The Beaver." "Hey, look dad! Swell, a ref! Can I keep it?" The beaver says.
"No, son. It's probably dead by now."
Cuts back to the game.
As the game goes on, the boy's volleyball team is in the stands booing the PH.
Peter is obviously distracted, barely missing a serve.
He misses a serve, losing the game on acount of the boy's team booing him.
Somehow the ref awoke and now enters the court. "And the Swollen Kneecaps win!"
Cuts to the Swollen Kneecaps, with actual abnormally swollen knees. Some are shouting in victory.
Two of them are having a conversation. "Isn't is coincidential that our team name is the Swollen Kneecaps, when we actually have swollen kneecaps?" One says.
"No." Says the other.
Later, in the car with the Griffins...
"Lois, I'm thinking of quitting the team." Peter says.
"You can't quit! You just lost one game."
"I know, but those volleyball boys are discouraging me."
"Listen- If the boys were to egg our car at this exact moment, I'll let you quit the team." Lois compromises.
Instantly the car is pelted with eggs. The volleyball boys ride away on their bikes, laughing.
"What a coincidence. You should have said something different." Brian says.
"Like: 'If Peter was to get skinny at this exact moment, he could quit the team'?" Peter suggests. Instantly he is skinny. "Sweet!"
The next day, Peter goes to the coach's house...
Peter rings the doorbell and the coach opens the door. "Peter? What do you want?"
"I'm quitting the team."
"Oh.. That's too bad. We'll miss you."
"Like I haven't heard that before..." Peter says.
Peter has a flashback...
"Behind the Scenes: Friends" appears.
"The cast member you didn't know about.." A voice says.
Peter appears, hugging the cast of Friends.
"We'll miss you." Jennifer Aniston says.
Flashback ends.
"I'm gonna need your uniform." The coach says, which coincidentally Peter is wearing.
"Oookay.." Peter says, beginning to undress.
"Not now dammit!" The coach exclaims, shielding his eyes.
The end of chapter 4 and Peterball.
I hope you enjoyed my first script of Family Guy! Please write more reviews! I'd love more encouragement! =)