Part Fifteen
-My hands are glued upon the wheel
The road ahead is all I feel
The only thing left that's real
On and on I'll take this long way home.
-"Long Way Home", The Offspring-
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Sephiroth listened intently as the Keybearer recounted his recent activities, most of which pertained to Hollow Bastion. The look in Sora's eyes whenever he mentioned his friend's name was so sorrowful, the feeling nearly palpable, and the ex-General knew that how Riku felt for the other boy was definitely not simply one-sided.
It seemed that the girl didn't detect Sora's true feelings towards Riku, either, Sephiroth noticed. Or at least not at face value. Perhaps because the teen repressed the true extent of his love for Riku when he spoke of the older one; Sephiroth found it understandable how one could miss that emotion, had one not known what to look for. At least that assumption rang true in Cloud's case, seeing as none of his old teammates had caught onto it during Meteor… and, surprisingly, not even afterwards.
The silver-haired man placed his hands on Cloud's hips, the blonde shifting into him at the gesture. He felt somewhat guilty about showing his affection in front of the others, though; not because of Aerith, but because of Sora. Sephiroth had an inkling that his presence was a great shock to the boy, due to his resemblance to his lost Light.
As he recalled, Riku mentioned that Sora didn't know how he felt for him… /Though not for much longer…/
His mind-partner cleared his nonexistent throat. /--Do you really think it's smart to butt in like that?--/
/No. But Zackary…,/ the silver-haired man jerked his conscience towards Sora, /look at him. Does he look happy to you?/
/--…it can't be right to tell him, though… I mean…--/ Zack trailed off and sighed. /--…how would that make him feel any better? Knowing that someone who loves him is out there, and his fate rested on his shoulders? Sounds familiar, doesn't it.--/ The ex-SOLDIER chuckled lightly. /--Saying that's pressure is an understatement, and you know it.--/
/You're suggesting I leave it be, then?/
/--Yeah… I am.--/
Cloud looked up at his Light when Sephiroth shook his head. The older man smiled lightly at him and rubbed his unarmored hip reassuringly. /…I can't, Zack. Not after what Cloud went through… platitudinal as it may be, that boy needs hope. He needs something to motivate him, and what better incentive is there to fight than for love?/
/--Their situation isn't the same as yours and Cloud's was, Seph… Cloud didn't just have to fight for it, but he had to fight against it… and, ultimately, kill it. Who knows what Riku's been doing in that Darkness?--/ Zack stopped. /--…and I have no fuckin' clue what the hell 'platitudinal' is supposed to mean.--/
/…regardless…/ Sephiroth sighed quietly, ignoring most of what his mind partner had said.
He didn't know quite how to word the idea he was trying to convey to Zack, try as he might. Maybe it was because the two were so alike, but Sephiroth felt as if he owed it to Riku to let Sora know that, if he hadn't been caught up in Ansem's lie, Riku would have never hurt Sora as he did, because he loved him.
/--…what, if you told him that, would it be to clear your conscience, too…?--/
The silver-haired man winced, closing his eyes sadly. Zack's suggestion wasn't meant to hurt him, but it did… because it was true.
If he could tell Sora that it was never Riku's intention to hurt him, maybe he could save the boy from suffering like Cloud had, fighting against the person he loved the most. Maybe by preventing Sora of that pain, Sephiroth could make up to Cloud, just a little, for all the things he couldn't do enough to apologize for.
Even if Cloud wasn't blaming him, Sephiroth did. Jenova's pull was strong, and his heart was too weak to resist it. He doubted his humanity then, and she took him into her icy grip… and since he doubted himself, he was powerless to fight her. As for Riku…
Sephiroth hated the fact that he was too blind to realize Riku's change in personality when Ansem began to take him over. He should have noticed the subtle differences when the silver-haired boy and Ansem switched, however brief the occurrences were. He could have stopped it all from happening.
/--Stop acting like Spike… there was nothing you could do. Y'know, you guys got some real bad guilt issues,--/ Zack said jokingly, yet completely serious at the same time.
/I must do this, Zackary… I feel as if I'm obligated,/ Sephiroth reiterated, /…even if it is for no one else's sake but my own./
/--…it could end up doing more harm than good, you know,--/ Zack warned.
The ex-General shrugged slightly to himself. /That's a chance I will have to take./
Zack made a helpless sound of defeat, grasping at straws. In truth, he honestly was against the idea… he saw what Cloud had to suffer through after Nibelheim, and as he continued watching over his young friend from the Lifestream after death. What Sephiroth wanted to do put Sora at the same risk for that pain.
He couldn't shake the foreboding feeling that, if Sora knew, it would end up even worse for the boy in the long run. Tragic villains, victimized by their own fates, never had happy endings. Sephiroth never wanted to play the bad guy, and Zack knew it. However willing to join Jenova as he was, the fact of the matter was that the former General was forced into the role by circumstance, and Riku as well.
And, the unwilling hero, Cloud had to watch Sephiroth die, and was made to see the one he loved disappear from his life, forever, no matter however badly he wanted to save him. Zack didn't want Sora to have to go through anything like that…
/--Seph, please… think about it a little more, okay? Think of the consequences it could have…--/
/Every action has a reaction, Zackary. I understand that./
/--…I don't think this is going to end well at all, Seph…--/ Zack exhaled deeply. It wasn't his nature to give up so easily, but then again… neither was Sephiroth's.
That simple fact was basically the only reason their friendship ever had its rough patches. When they disagreed on any strategy, regardless of subject matter, they could never find a common ground. Each of them had their own positions and held fast to their beliefs, both too stubborn to be swayed from their paths. No amount of pleading or convincing from either side did any good - that's just the way they were.
/--…not at all. Please, Seph…--/
/I need to, Zackary. This is much too important to leave be./
/--…fine… I…--/ Zack sighed again, /--…I give up.--/
Sephiroth withheld an apology for Zack's defeat.
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"Whoa, whoa. Wait." Leon held up a placating hand before placing it on his forehead, massaging his temples. "You had Kairi's heart?"
"Guess so…"
Steely grey eyes switched from Sora to Kairi and back again. "…how?"
"Um… I kinda… fell into him…?" the redhead answered, still just as confused about the entire thing as Leon was. She remembered the last time she saw Sora on Destiny Island, but still came up empty as to why her heart was in his own. Yes, she loved him, and very much so… Kairi would have very willingly given Sora her heart, and her soul. But for it to have actually happened for real… and what she learned about her friend when she got it back…
Kairi shook her head. "Don't worry. I don't get it either…"
"How did you get it back?" Aerith asked, listening intently.
"He stabbed 'imself in the chest with th' dark Keyblade!!" the duck shouted distastefully, wings flailing. There were no exceptions - all of the listener's eyes went large as saucers as they stared at a sheepishly grinning, rapidly blushing Sora.
"…um…" The brown-haired boy coughed. "…hi."
Yuffie buried her face in her hands and moaned, "grossne--ess… eww, So--ora--a…"
"What!? I had to!" Try as he might, the Keybearer couldn't hold back his boyish grin. It was always so fun to freak girls out. "I didn't bleed…"
"An' after that, uh, he turned inta a Heartless," Goofy pitched in, nodding. "B' not before that Ansem feller came—"
"But Riku stopped him," Kairi cut in, talking more to Sora than anyone else. "He helped us get outta there…"
Sephiroth loudly cleared his throat. Everyone's attention turned on him, as it was the first time he had made any sound at all since they arrived. "…that… I bore witness to that… and to Riku's sacrifice."
The brunette boy took in a sharp breath, eyebrows lifted in consternation. "…his…?" Sora's voice was soft, eyes searching Sephiroth's face for answers. "…his… what…?!"
"Sephiroth…" Cloud broke away from the silver-haired one's grip and took a step back. "What are you talking about?"
So Sephiroth recounted the time he spent with Ansem in that place, the one where he could see everything through Riku's eyes. He told them of how the amber-eyed man used the boy as a vessel, locking Riku's true self away. How he was able to get through that mysterious door - though, admittedly, he didn't understand how it was possible - to find that dank pit of a hallway, and Riku inside of it.
Sora and Kairi had cried when he approached the subject of Riku's rape. Sephiroth tried to word it as delicately as possible, but the truth of the matter was that there was no way to sugarcoat that, try as he might. The two teenagers from Destiny Island wept for their friend's violation, holding each other as they did so, unashamed of who saw them do so.
Their tears provoked Aerith's empathy and she broke down with them, taking both of them into her arms. Sephiroth was rather glad to see the girl he murdered had managed to retain a sense of caring, her motherly essence calming the kids considerably as she kissed both of them on their foreheads.
Cloud, on the other hand, took to quietly watching Sephiroth evenly as he told his tale. He was shocked to hear that the older man had to go through all of that… and ashamed with himself for being caught up in so much self-pity when he hadn't seen half as many terrible things as Sephiroth had.
And still, Sephiroth stayed strong. Cloud couldn't fathom how the other man could possibly remain so unshaken through it all. For sure, he knew he would have had numerous breakdowns, had he been in Sephiroth's shoes.
The feline-eyed one caught Cloud's gaze, and the blonde stepped towards him, hugging him tightly. "How do you do it…? How the hell can you stay so… strong?!" he asked, for Sephiroth's ears only.
"I'm not impregnable, Cloud…" Sephiroth pressed the younger man's cheek against his chest, his elbow resting on Cloud's shoulder armor, and murmured, "I wept for that boy as well…" He gave a soft, self-deprecating chuckle. "Yes, the cold-hearted General wept for someone other than himself."
Cloud sighed and rested a hand on Sephiroth's cheek, staring intently into the other man's eyes. He only hoped the other man could detect all the love and admiration he tried to put forth in that gaze.
"Sephiroth… I want you to stop looking down on yourself like that, okay?" Pensively chewing his lip, he continued, "you talk about yourself like you're some monster, but you aren't…"
"…still so easy to dismiss my shortcomings… it isn't right, Cloud. After what—"
The blonde held his index finger to Sephiroth's lips, shushing him. "No. Enough is enough," he mumbled sternly, voice softening as he added, "just… shut up. Alright?"
Corner of his mouth lifting in half-hearted amusement, Sephiroth responded, "I'll try."
Forgetting they actually weren't alone in the room, Cloud stood up on the tips of his toes and kissed Sephiroth on both cheeks, then on the lips, and smiled lightly. "I really do love you, Seph…"
"…ugh." Both men looked towards the sound of Yuffie flopping down on the bed, her arms thrown out in disgust. "PDA is SO not my thing…"
Cloud nearly tripped over his feet as he tore himself away, whirling around to see several different human emotions shown on several very different faces, all of them pointed towards him and Sephiroth. The silver-haired man was quietly amused at Cloud's fumble, the small mercenary blushing fiercely.
"I… uh… oh, shit… I'm…," he floundered before settling his sights on Aerith, the girl's lips pressed together, eyebrows drawn in regretful sadness.
Cloud's heart panged for her. He didn't mean to upset her anymore… not to mention he still had to apologize for earlier. Stress and confusion and anger had culminated into that disgusted spitefulness, and he hadn't truly meant to direct it on the flower girl… "I-I'm sorry…"
She only waved it off and sat next to Yuffie, head bowed to her chest. The ninja popped up to comfort her, giving her a tight squeeze.
Aerith only wished that her heart could brush off the scene as easily as her body did. The fact that she knew the blonde loved Sephiroth wasn't this painful, she had known since… too long. It was a damnable ability of the Cetra, to simply be aware of so many things, back on the Planet. But to actually see it with her own two eyes…
Yes, it was an inevitability to witness Sephiroth and Cloud together in that way, but the reality of the situation was sealed, now.
Bearing witness to truths one doesn't want to heed… really, really sucked.
Leon sniffed disdainfully at the display of the two other men. "Is there anything more to your story?" he asked, slightly annoyed.
"…yes." Sephiroth tipped his chin up in a show of superiority. "After I removed Riku from that prison, the entire place started to break down… literally."
"Uh… y' mean th' place was fallin' apart?" Goofy ventured slowly.
The silver-haired man nodded. "Exactly right." He paused, wheels in his head turning in recollection. "We encountered a large mass of Darkness, and then Riku became frantic. I don't know what resolve he broke, nor what he was seeing, but the mass began vacillating, and he was screaming for you." The ex-General turned to Kairi. "I believe I heard you call out to him as well…?"
She bit her lip, clasping her hands in front of her, and humbly bowed her head. "He told me to run…"
"Yes…" Sephiroth pursed his lips. "…then many, many Heartless emerged from the Darkness, most of which I had never seen before… and Riku…" He paused again, unsure of how to continue.
"…and all 'a that happened after Sora unlocked her heart?" Donald asked, jerking a thumb-like section of his wing towards Kairi. "When he was a Shadow?"
"Yes. Riku was worried the most about Sora…" Sephiroth crossed his arms, eyebrows drawn together. "…and he said that he was in the Darkness. So…," he sighed. "Riku… went to find him."
"He did what?!" Sora shot up, jaw slackened so far Sephiroth thought it might hit the floor. "He WHAT?!"
"And you let him go?" Leon's voice was cool and even. "You didn't even try and stop him?"
Sephiroth closed his eyes and counted to ten before opening them again. "I did… trust, I had no other choice."
The redheaded girl was on the verge of tears again as she slumped down in between Aerith and Yuffie, the other girls immediately flanking both sides. "…hn… Ri… Riku…"
"Why wouldn't you keep him from going in there?" the Cetra asked, refusing to look at Sephiroth. "There must have been something you could have done… if you truly aren't the person you were before…" She shook her head. "…you should have known better."
"Don't any of you dare assume I wanted him to be martyred," Sephiroth near-growled, "but the boy had made up his mind. He would not have been deterred."
"That's bullshit," Yuffie grumbled, glaring at him. "There's no way in hell that you couldn't have stopped a fifteen-year old! Big bad General of ShinRa scared of a kid?" The ninja scoffed, muttering under her breath. "K'sottare no baka yarou-kusai…"
Sephiroth grunted. Silently he wondered if everyone was getting on his case just to see if he would snap; and honestly, the sixteen-year old's name-calling had been unnecessary. "Very mature, Kisaragi. I'm sure Lord Godo would be proud to see his only kin in such a light."
"Keep my dad out of this, you jerk!!"
The silver-haired man sighed. "Perhaps it's better off our world was overrun… now, Wutai will never suffer being led by a child…" He spoke evenly and without menace, but the words still struck a chord he hadn't known they would.
"Shut the FUCK up!" Yuffie stormed to her feet, whipping out the Conformer and holding it menacingly. "Don't you DARE talk about my home!!" She balled her fist and shook it at him.
Sephiroth watched, unafraid but still quite curious. Such a violent, furious reaction seemed rather unlikely coming from the small girl.
"You messed it up enough, you goddamned piece of shit-fucking SHINRA!!"
The older man could have smacked his forehead. Of course his former affiliation would have upset the girl.
ShinRa had ruined a great many cities, but the Wutaian people considered their once-proud nation one of the biggest tragedies even such a long time after the war Sephiroth himself had led, though he didn't understand why. He had seen everywhere Cloud visited through the man's eyes, and considered Corel the worse-fated of them all.
"HEY!! Let GO of me!!
The feisty ninja shrieked and kicked her legs, struggling to get out of Leon's grasp. He held her back from attacking Sephiroth as Cloud stepped in front of the silver-haired man and glared.
"Yuffie, cut it out!!" Cloud whirled, shoving a finger in Sephiroth's face. "You stop, too!" Again, Cloud turned and addressed Yuffie. "This isn't about Wutai or ShinRa or even Sephiroth right now!" He pointed at Sora, the boy huddled with his two animal companions on the couch, the three of them gaping. "This is about him right now, Yuf, so will you just be civil?! You're acting like a child!!"
"He took a dig at my dad!!" The ninja squirmed against Leon, the man's arms like lead around her. "He… Cloud, that asshole killed Aeris!! He tried to destroy the Planet!! Whether you love him or not, how can… how can you just forgive all of the crap he threw at you?!" Yuffie screamed, face red. "Are you fucking STUPID?!"
Cloud focused on the floor, clenching and unclenching his fists. He held his body as if he was ready to strike at a moment's notice, shifting his weight from foot to foot, lips tightly pressed together. The blonde rolled his shoulders as Sephiroth reached out to him in attempt to pacify.
"You… do not call me stupid… I know what I'm doing."
Yuffie bit her lip, jerking her body half-heartedly. She didn't want to escape to attack anymore so much as get away from her former leader, the look on his face blank but his voice a murderous growl. "Cloud—"
He closed his eyes and held a hand up, palm out. "Stop."
Cloud rested his chin against his chest before he took Sephiroth's hands and laced them together with his own, resting them on his stomach. He leaned with his back against the other man, Sephiroth fully supporting his weight. The blonde lifted his gaze from the floor, looking at Yuffie through his eyelashes.
"You… none of you guys… you just don't fucking get it, do you…?" Cloud snorted and tilted his head back. "They don't understand, Seph."
"We should leave," the taller man murmured, close to Cloud's ear, forgoing the idea of soothing him. "This stress is going to kill you…"
"If you don't do it first," the ninja sneered. Sephiroth secured his grip around the blonde before Cloud could pull away.
"…Yuffie, please… no more taunting…"
Everyone cast Aerith a confused glance as she spoke up. Her face was remorseful and tear-streaked, dainty white hands clasped in her lap. Even though her posture was limp with her shoulders sagged forward in defeat, her voice was strong with resolve.
All of the fighting had gone on for too long, and it was ridiculous. Hard as it was to admit, Sephiroth was back, but it was clearly obvious - at least to her, now that she had listened to him - that he was no longer a corrupted soul. There was something completely different and even so far as soothing about him as well, but she couldn't place exactly why.
She hadn't known the man when she was dating Zack, but he had told her a lot about the great General. If Hojo and the Turks weren't after her, maybe she would have. But Sephiroth wasn't fond of the slums, or so Zack told her, and the only way she could have met him was at the military base - which would have almost spelled certain doom for her, so she stayed away.
It felt like she knew him, though. Zack always spoke highly of the silver-haired man every chance he had. When she and Tseng were still friends, he gushed about the man as well. Everyone worshipped Sephiroth, it seemed. To say their past was less than amiable would be an understatement, but…
Aerith loved Cloud, and she had a feeling that she always would. His being with her wasn't in the cards, though, because his heart was devoted to Sephiroth. A part of her hated Sephiroth for that, compounded with what he had done to her… but Cloud loved him.
However, she was willing to at least give the man a chance, despite the crimes he committed, for Cloud's sake and for Zack's memory.
It would be hard, but the Cetra knew she could do it. If she could even consider forgiving the man, the rest of them could as well.
"Yuffie, please… let's just trust Cloud." She looked up at the blonde and smiled, sadly. "Right, bodyguard…?"
Cloud bit his lip. For the umpteenth time that day he felt that familiar tightening in his throat, eyes blurring…
[Damn, I'm emotional today…]
He sniffed and laughed softly, shaking his head. "Yeah… thank you, Aerith," Cloud said, completely sincere.
Yuffie had a sullen frown on her face, unwilling to accept the silver-haired man so easily. "…are you sure?"
"Yes, I am."
"…positive?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely, one-hundred percent, completely—"
Aerith giggled and waved her hand at the ninja girl, her other hand wiping at her eyes. "Yes, yes, yes!"
"…I got first dibs on 'em if he goes schizo, though," Yuffie started, dead serious, "and don't say you do, 'cause I called it!"
"Yuffie…?"
Her eyes went wide when she realized she was still right up against Leon, even though the man let her go an indeterminable amount of time ago. "Erp!!" Yuffie scrambled over to the other side of the room and blushed. "…sidetracked."
"…right." Leon crossed his arms again, brow crinkling in thought. "Where were we?"
"…Riku in the Darkness…," Sora murmured distractedly. "Is he… dead, Sephiroth…?"
/--He's still alive. Tell 'im.--/
/You know this for a fact?/
Zack sighed. /--Don't you feel him in your heart?--/
Sephiroth coughed slightly, a little concerned he had forgotten such an important fact. "No, he's still alive." He frowned, shaking his head. "Wherever he is…"
"Hey…" Kairi furrowed her brow, sticking out her lower lip. "Sephiroth, you said Riku went into the Darkness to find Sora, right?" The man nodded. "So…" Kairi set her sights on the spiky-haired boy. "Did you… feel him at all, when you were a Heartless…?"
"Nope…" Sora picked at the hem of his shorts thoughtfully. "Only you."
"Oh…"
"…Sora," the ex-SeeD nudged verbally, "go on."
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"So," Leon said, musing quietly behind his hand, "the Darkness is flowing out of the Keyhole…" Sora nodded.
Aerith sighed. "No wonder there are more and more Heartless everywhere…" She looked up at Leon. "So that means, the only way to stop them is—"
"Seal the Keyhole, right?" interrupted Sora. It was pretty obvious what he had to do…
The ex-SeeD shrugged. "Maybe." Leon winced subtly, and addressed the brown-haired boy. "But no one knows what will happen once it's sealed…"
"Well, we can't just stay here," the boy mumbled, sinking back against the couch. He looked tired and completely worn out, but somehow still determined to finish his task. Cloud admired that strength of character, and even more so since Sora was so… young. "We have to do something. I've got a friend back there."
Kairi placed a hand on Sora's knee comfortingly.
"That's right… you have one more friend to worry about…," Leon agreed, eyes flitting between the two.
Absently, Leon put a thumb against his lips in thought, teeth trying to find the nail underneath the leather glove, concentrating on putting together information. "…Riku's Keyblade must have been born of the captive princesses' hearts - just like that Keyhole you saw…"
The brunette began to pace, all eyes on him as he spoke. "Of course, without Kairi's heart, it remained incomplete," he ticked that point off on a finger. "…once that Keyblade was destroyed, the princesses' hearts should have been freed…," he finished, though the thought was unknowingly spoken more to himself than anyone else.
Leon stopped pacing and stood in front of the boy, dropping a hand reassuringly on his shoulder. "…don't worry, Sora. If anyone can save your friend, you can."
Smiling lightly, Sora replied, "thank you…" The boy yawned and stretched, limbs splayed as far as they could, back cracking. "So, is there anything else ya wanna know? 'Cause I'm beat…"
The gunblade wielder cleared his throat, voice hushed. "…how many do you have left?"
The boy raised his eyebrow. "…huh?"
"…you know," Leon's face attempted to convey his meaning to a now-thoroughly confused teenager, who also looked like he was getting a little scared. The scarred man sighed and he tilted his head back, grumbling. "The puppies…?"
"OH!" Sora poked Donald with his foot. "Hey, get Jiminy for me, will ya?" The duck's eye twitched.
"Alright, alright." He waddled over to a bag in the corner of the room and fished through it, feather-swaddled but wagging in the air. "Phooey…" The butt swayed left to right as Donald dug farther into the pack.
"…gawrsh, Donald… it can't be good fer 'im if yer keepin' 'im buried in there like that," Goofy mused. Donald pulled his head out of the bag long enough to cast the dog a long, hard, death-glare before continuing his search.
"By the way," Sora perked up, "did you get Geppetto all settled, Leon?"
Leon nodded, gesturing towards the two oldest girls. "They took care of most of the actual work, though." The brunette shrugged. "All I did was hire the carpenters…"
"That reminds me," Aerith started, "he mentioned he had a gift for you."
"For me? Why?" The boy tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed. "What is it?" The girl shrugged.
"I GOT HIM!" Donald yelled triumphantly, holding a green cricket clad in a top hat and tails high in the air.
Sephiroth and Cloud were the only ones to gape at the odd spectacle. Apparently, something like that wasn't abnormal to anyone else in the room.
On tip-toe, Donald reached up and settled Jiminy on top of a nearby crate, and stood back. Out of thin air, the cricket pulled out a huge tome and set it up to lean against the wall before he bowed grandly, taking hold of the lapels on his jacket. "Howdy! What can I do ya for?"
"How many dalmatians are left out there?" Leon asked, a little too eagerly. Yuffie snickered quietly at him, stopping only when the eldest girl tapped her lightly on the arm and frowned.
"Let's see… the dalmatians… dalmatians…," the talking cricket mumbled, flipping through the pages of the book, scanning each page quickly. "Well, I'll be… only six of them!"
The ex-SeeD looked subtly - but incredibly, at least, so thought Sephiroth - relieved. "Alright." Leon clicked his tongue. "Maybe I should visit Pongo and Perdita…"
"And go pet your pwecious widdle puppies?" the ninja teased, giggling, hands clasped together in front of her chest. "You are too cute, Squal—er, Leon…"
Leon wore an expression of distaste. "Whatever…"
"…I think it's sweet," the pink-clad Cetra stated tentatively. "After all, it isn't every day a man Leon's age gushes over animals…"
"I don't 'gush'," the gunblade wielder cut in scornfully. "It's just that the poor things are out there alone… they need their parents."
"Don't change the fact that you love them!" Yuffie singsonged.
The blonde raised his eyebrow, watching the ninja warily. It amazed him that she could be so carefree all the time, especially so soon after nearly having Sephiroth's head on a platter. Cloud was silently stunned that the silver-haired man hadn't reacted violently at all as she threatened him… he hadn't reached for the Masamune, either, not even to block an offending attack. Not even as a General did he leave himself so openly defenseless.
…then again, there wasn't exactly a lot of space in the room to maneuver the long weapon, especially not with innocent bystanders in the room…
"…I took care of a puppy once," Cloud reminisced quietly, pushing his earlier thought aside.
"…and the mother nearly mauled you when she found you touching it," the man behind him murmured, "had it not been for Zackary, she would have."
Aerith looked over at the both of them, eyes shining. "He saved you? What did he do?"
The blonde smiled lightly at her. "Cast Stop before it could get me. He said he didn't want to hurt it," Cloud replied, obviously glad to have the chance to recall the memory. He sorely missed his best friend, and would have given anything to see him again.
Sephiroth kept secret the reality that Zack was with him, though. Both former SOLDIERs agreed that it was for the best not to tell Cloud, or anyone else for that matter, that Sephiroth was hearing voices again. Granted, Zack wasn't a malevolent presence, but the simple fact that the silver-haired man still communicated with phantoms would be a rather big blow to their growing confidence in Sephiroth's sanity.
"Just like him," the girl sighed wistfully, another sad smile breaking her face.
"…I think we should go," Sora announced suddenly. "We should probably ask Cid about getting back to Hollow Bastion…"
Donald scooped Jiminy off of the crate, and the cricket jumped back into the pack Donald slung over his shoulder. "Good idea. We're wasting time just sittin' here…" The duck smacked Goofy in the arm, causing the large dog to jump comically.
"Wh-whoa!" Goofy whirled on his companion and put his hands on his hips, making an angry face as he towered over the bird. "Doncha know not t' do that?!" He stood up and crossed his arms, putting his back towards King Mickey's other charge. "'M very sensitive, y'know…"
Kairi giggled behind her hand as Donald mimicked the stance, bill tipped up impetuously. "You guys are too much…"
"He started it," they said simultaneously.
"C'mon you guys, let's go see Cid," Sora laughed and stood up, stretching again. "Plus, we gotta get supplies, too."
The ninja girl looked from Cloud and Sephiroth to Aerith before standing as well. She walked in front of Kairi and bent over, placing her hands on her knees. "How 'bout you an' me go shopping for 'em, huh?" Yuffie smiled brightly, holding up a finger to shush the younger girl before she could protest. "And no buts!"
"Okay," the redhead agreed, "they're going to do boring boy stuff anyway."
"That's right!" Yuffie winked. "It's girl time!"
--------
After saying their goodbyes, the room cleared, leaving only the winged men, Aerith and Leon. The gunblade wielder was quiet, deep in thought. He had gone back to his usual position, legs crossed in front of him. It was as if the brunette never sat down, Cloud noted, and when he did it was a rarity. The scarred man was always up and about, doing one thing or another around town.
But Leon enjoyed being busy. It wasn't as if he wanted to be known as a perpetual do-gooder, far from it. Yes, he fought the Heartless. Yes, he took care of refugees. Yes, he was pretty well-known around town, and well respected, but he didn't enjoy it, really.
The more work he took on, the less free time he had, but that was the way he wanted it. Less free time meant less time doing nothing other than lazing about, and that lead to thinking. Regrets for things he hadn't done, sorrow for memories he lost… those were the only results of musing.
And admittedly, Cloud was a part of his frustration as well.
Well… an even bigger part, now more than ever.
He regarded the blonde slowly, his body so close to the one he called his 'Light'. And though Cloud's face didn't really show it, Leon had to admit that the younger man looked happier than he had ever seen him… and he hated it. It wasn't fair. Why was Cloud given the chance to be happy?
Eight years he had been going by the name of Leon… and the most of those he spent living in Hollow Bastion, after his own world was overrun. Ansem was sane back then… and a brilliant man, he came to find out - a surprisingly gracious one at that. He allowed Leon to help him in his studies, and didn't demand anything in return for food and shelter.
He met Yuffie and Aerith there as well - on the same day, but on different balconies of the palace. They weren't reunited with one another until a few days after that, though, and Leon hadn't known that they were from the same world, as Yuffie had been banged up quite badly. Ansem's servants had to tend to her wounds before she could go wandering the castle.
It was disheartening to Leon that two people from the same world landed in Hollow Bastion when there were no other survivors from his own world there…
When the castle turned to Darkness, though… somehow, all of them ended up in Traverse Town. Finding out about the town's reputation for taking in refugees, Leon immediately became involved with the 'welcoming committee', so to speak. For two years after Hollow Bastion's demise, to that very day, he had been working with the never-ending stream of newcomers, but still hadn't found anyone he had known before… when he was Squall.
Leon watched the two men as they reminisced with Aerith about who he came to find out was her boyfriend, Zack. And while she wasn't completely friendly with the silver-haired one, Leon still found it hard to believe, after what he was told about the man and what he had done in Cloud's world, that Aerith could stand to be so close to the man, or even talk to him.
…and Cloud loved that guy…?
The gunblade wielder shook his head, admonishing himself for being so… hypocritical. At least Cloud had a reason to love the one he did… unlike himself…
How outnumbered was he, now? There was Aerith and Yuffie, they met Cid in Traverse Town… Cloud at the Coliseum, and now Sephiroth, out of nowhere, it seemed. Who was next to drop in from their world? When was Leon going to have the chance to see a familiar face? Why was he doomed to be alone?
…the brunette couldn't help but thinking, though, as he walked out of the small house, forgoing giving goodbyes to the others in the room, that if he hadn't run away so many times… he wouldn't have had to be alone.
--------
Sephiroth bit back a sneer as he watched Leon leave from the corner of his eye and wrapped his arm protectively around his demon-winged lover.
He caught the way the scarred man was watching Cloud before he retreated, and Sephiroth didn't like that look one bit.
--------
Stretching, Cloud arched back into Sephiroth's embrace. The three of them had lost track of time as they discussed Zack for what seemed like hours. Actually, it was more Aerith and Cloud doing the talking… Sephiroth had been doing more listening.
Of course, the one he was really listening to hadn't been to the ones in the room with him, but with Zack himself, the dead SOLDIER going on and on about more in-depth details about the stories, and some… well, some were a little more private than Sephiroth needed to know. He realized that Zack loved Aerith dearly, but…
…he didn't need to know how dearly. It was just a bad thought. Damn Zack and his overactive sex drive…
The blonde stretched again and got up from his perch, joints cracking from lack of movement. He felt better then than he had in years, with so many things going… well. Aerith and he had made up, for the most part, and Sephiroth was back - and didn't hate him for what happened with Leon.
Even Aerith and Sephiroth were getting along, or so it appeared, anyway. To Cloud, she still had some reservations about the silver-haired man. She had been studying him, it looked like, as time wore on, even though most of what she was talking about was directed towards Cloud. He didn't blame her, of course, for her wariness, all things considering. Had he not loved the man, Cloud would have been afraid of Sephiroth, too.
But Leon… to tell the truth, Cloud hadn't noticed when the brunette left. He winced slightly, thinking about it. The mercenary knew that Sephiroth wouldn't want them to stay at Leon's house, at least not until Sephiroth talked to the other man… Cloud wasn't really sure what Sephiroth wanted to discuss with Leon. It wasn't as if the gunblade wielder was a potential threat to their relationship or anything… he was straight.
"We'd better go, Seph," Cloud said, smiling at the silver-haired man. "I'm sure Aerith's sick of us by now, huh?"
The flower girl grinned, shrugging lightly. "Things could be worse. I could be shopping with Yuffie…," she added, looking towards the clock. "It's nearly midnight…"
"She's probably fine," the blonde assured, "she can take care of herself."
"Yes, but alone against those new Heartless…" Aerith stopped and shook her head, waving her hand at her worry. "No, no, you're right."
Cloud turned around and slid his hand down Sephiroth's arm. "You ready?"
"Yes." The silver-haired man stepped out from behind Cloud and took one of Aerith's hands in both of his own. "…thank you. Thank you for understanding… Aerith."
The girl looked questioningly into Sephiroth's eyes for a moment before responding, "…what other choice did I have…? He loves you…"
Sephiroth let her go and stood back as Cloud hugged the flower girl tightly. "Really… thank you…" The blonde kissed Aerith on the cheek and hugged her again. "You don't know how much this means to me…"
"I think I do."
Cloud released her and the two men started out the door, but Aerith halted their retreat, hesitantly. "Cloud, may… you leave for a second, please?" The green-eyed girl lifted her lips slightly. "I need to have a word with Sephiroth, if you don't mind…"
Sephiroth lowered his eyebrow distrustfully and shot the blonde a hard look. Cloud's gaze switched back and forth between two sets of green eyes, well aware of the uncomfortable silence that permeated the room. "…I… guess…?" He took a step back, jerking a thumb towards the door. "I… guess I can wait outside…?"
"I'm not going to hurt him, if that's what you're worrying about," Aerith teased.
Cloud complied, glancing one last time at Sephiroth before he walked out of the small house, shutting the door behind him.
Immediately, Aerith set her sights on Sephiroth. The man stiffened under her scrutinizing gaze but waited quietly for her to speak. It was the least he could do, after all…
"You'd better not hurt him again," she said finally, staring at him. "You're well aware what will happen if you do."
"I've no reason to do such a thing," Sephiroth replied. "Jenova is gone, I am sane, and—"
"I realize that." Aerith shook her head dismissively. "I mean… emotionally."
Sephiroth chuckled. "Oh…" He took her hand the same way he did before and leaned down, lowering his voice. "Believe me… if I ever do, I permit you to be the one to punish me."
"'Wrath of the Cetra'?" She paused and smiled, tapping a finger against her chin. "I kinda like the sound of that, but… don't you give me reason to employ it."
The silver-haired man bowed respectfully. "You have my word. Goodbye, Aerith." He turned to leave.
Aerith closed her eyes in a moment of silent deliberation. "…wait…," she said quietly, then reached out and cupped Sephiroth's cheek. The girl had a pained look on her face as she stood on the very tips of her toes, kissing her murderer softly on the lips.
When she pulled away, her eyes were still tightly closed, the path of a tear marking its way from her lashes. "I'm sorry," she started, shakily. "I'm sorry… for everything Elmyra said about you in the past, I'm sorry I didn't trust you, or your… affiliation… and I'm so sorry for everything I could never say to you."
Aerith took a deep breath, wiping her eyes with a finger. "…I still love you, Zack… the only true regret I have is that I ever let you go…"
And with that she left, padding softly down her hallway, leaving both Zack and Sephiroth completely shocked.
/--H… how did she… WHAT?!--/
/…Zackary…/
/--…yeah?--/
/…I forgot to tell Sora…/
--------
Finally, he was able to rest. Wiping the gooey black ooze from his Keyblade, Riku went around to collect the items the mutated race of Shadows had left behind, glad for that battle to be over. While fighting the stronger breed of Heartless improved his natural skill and strength indefinitely, that didn't change the fact that it was still hard work, and that he could get hurt from it.
Unscrewing the cap of a Hi-Potion, the silver-haired teen continued his search for shelter as he chugged it down, thankful the reenergizing liquid did its job time and time again.
Jumping into the literal mass of Darkness dropped him into that world. At the time, he hadn't really wondered where the vortex would leave him. Come to think of it, he hadn't really wondered at all about the consequences. He could just feel Sora in there, and he needed to do something…
He didn't know how long he had been in that place, with its tall, looming skyscrapers, dimly buildings plastered with glowing neon signs… it was always nighttime, the sky always dreary and dark. Not to mention the terrible weather the world had, prone to torrential rain and lightning storms, and its constant chilliness… definitely a far cry from Destiny Island.
And… he hadn't seen anyone else yet… no one else the entire time. Nothing but the wicked-looking Shadows… those couldn't have been the only things alive there other than him, could they…?
Suddenly, Riku wished he had never longed to get off that island. Yes, he had gotten adventure, but… for what price?
Coming to the entrance of a seemingly abandoned house, the silver-haired teen gave the surrounding a quick once-over for any evidence of lurking Heartless, but found none. The last fight had taken care of most of them, for now.
Riku stepped inside and dropped his pack on the floor… and blinked.
While the building appeared to be too run-down to inhabit, apparently he was wrong. It was junky on the inside, true, but it looked lived-in. A rumpled blanket was laid down in the corner of the front room with a sack at one end, probably used as a pillow, or so Riku guessed. The drab wallpaper was torn and peeling, some nearly all the way from the ceiling to the floor.
Disregarding the fact that he was, technically, an intruder in someone's home, Riku ventured further into the domicile, ears on high alert, listening for any sound at all. He walked down a short hallway which was bare save two doors, one on either side.
"…hello?" The teen frowned upon receiving no answer to his call.
Deciding that he wasn't going to leave until someone returned, Riku made his way towards the door on the right. He paused in front of it, one ear and one hand pressed onto the ratty wood, the other hand on the doorknob, he listened for any sounds of movement.
Nothing.
Well.
The hinges creaked as it opened, but that was alright. It had broken the silence anyway, as obnoxious as the noise was. Being alone was unnerving, even for Riku, if all one had for company were the sounds of their own self.
Riku raised his eyebrow, partially amused. The door only opened to a bathroom. For some reason, he hadn't expected a bathroom to be in the place. It was dingy, but curiously unused, and, upon quick inspection… was definitely nothing special.
The door on the left, however, was a lot more interesting.
Notes, notes and more notes littered a desk in the middle of the room, all of them mixed in with blank pieces of paper and envelopes, stamped with some strange seal. Riku squinted and held one of the envelopes up next to the single window on the far wall, a dim stream of light pouring in. The seal on the green paper just looked like three circles stuck together; and, like the bathroom, was definitely nothing special.
Letting the envelope drop carelessly on the ground, Riku sighed heavily and looked out the window. Raindrops were spattering against the glass and the pane, and though he was glad for having shelter, he wasn't glad that he was alone in the house. And as far as he could see down the street, there wasn't a body in sight.
"…looks like I've got time to kill," the teen muttered, crossing his arms irately. It was maddening to think how he had gone through the Darkness to look for Sora, when the boy obviously wasn't there… well, where he was.
Sora…
Riku sat in the chair behind the desk and fished out a blank piece of paper from the pile, taking a fountain pen from its ink well. He gave one last glance towards the door, was greeted to nothing as he expected, and set about on his task.
—Dear Sora,—
"…stupid…" He crumpled up the paper and grabbed another piece.
—Sora,
I know you aren't going to get this, let alone read it, but… I figured I'd write it anyway…—
Riku frowned reflectively, lips pursed. "…might as well tell the truth…"
—…if only to clear my conscience than anything else.
…I'm weak, Sora. I've always been weak, even back home. You were the better one of the two of us, you know… so what if I was better at fighting, or if I could run faster, or if I was stronger than you? None of that meant anything. It still means nothing, probably now more than ever.
I get why the better Keyblade chose you, and not me. I'm… stupid. Mentally, I'm just so… weak.—
The silver-haired teen worried at this lower lip, tapping the end of the pen to his chin. "Oh, this letter's a real ego boost…" Riku chuckled and pushed his bangs out of his eyes.
—I know, if you could read this, that you'd probably yell at me for sayin' that stuff… you're predictable like that, you know. …just kidding.
But it's the truth… about me, I mean. Before all this happened… when I first wished to get off the island, with you and Kairi, when the Darkness started working me over…—
Riku paused, making a face.
—…you know what? I don't even know what I'm trying to say there, just yet… just forget it…
Sora… I used to wonder why the Darkness chose me, and not you or Kairi. Like… we all wanted to leave and see what was out there, you know? So… why did it go after me? Because I wasn't afraid of it? I was so dumb… how could I have been afraid of something I didn't know anything about? But…
All I knew was that I… wanted it. It felt… I dunno… good. I know that's weird…
The Darkness… Ansem—
Riku wrote the name out with a sneer,
—promised me escape from Destiny Islands, said that I could explore wherever I wanted. And I wanted us to do it together, Sora… that's why I offered you my hand. Don't get me wrong, I love Kairi to death, and she's a great friend, but… I have to be honest with you…
…I love you more, Sora.
I was going to tell you, you know, before the raft was finished… I tried, but I could never get the words out. I knew you didn't like me that way, but I just wanted you to know… I couldn't tell you. So I tried dropping hints, but that didn't work… not when I handed you the Paopu, anyway… you looked so confused when I gave it to you…
I love your naivety… it's cute…
When the Darkness came and you stared at me, you looked… so concerned about me. Even more concerned than when Kairi almost drowned during that freak storm… you remember that, right?
You looked like you really cared about me… maybe even loved me.
But I know that was wishful thinking… I realize you like Kairi, and not me, but my heart doesn't care about what my head knows…
Then I offered you my hand, remember? I think I said I loved you, too… and I thought, if you took it, that you heard me, and that would've proven that you cared for me, too, even if you didn't… but I figured, after we traveled to another world together - just you and me - that I could… you know… make you love me…
When I saw you reach out to me, I was so happy… even though I knew it was just because you didn't want me to get hurt. After all, you didn't know what taking my hand would've ended in…
Now do you get it? My selfishness fucked all three of us over, Sora. I fucked up. I fucked us up. See? I told you that you were the stronger one. At least you're able to look past your own needs and take care of others…
Before Ansem took me over, while you were out there, actually doing something, do you know what I was up to? I ran errands for Maleficent, I captured a few Princesses of Hearts… I did my chores and I was rewarded for them like a puppy. But I was so lonely, Sora…
Don't ask, but… if you ever meet a man named Sephiroth… tell him I admire his loyalty…
I hope you realize it wasn't me who did (most) of those things to you… I can't apologize to you enough for my stupidity, but I can try.
You won't see this, but… I'm sorry, Sora. I'm so, so sorry for being me. I'm sorry I love you… because you don't deserve that from someone like me. I'm glad you don't love me like I love you, because I don't deserve it from someone like you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…
I hope you and Kairi will be happy together. Actually, I know you will be… but Sora… promise me.
Take care of her, and just forget about me.
Well… I guess that's all, for now… anyway… I miss you, Sora, I miss Kairi, I miss home… but I'll be fine.
I love you, my Light.
Yours forever,
Riku—
The teen wiped at his eyes and sighed, replacing the pen in the well. He addressed the envelope out of habit, despite the fact that Sora would never get it. Riku was about to seal it when he stopped for a moment, and removed the pen again.
—PS: What's the score now?—
"Uhm, 'scuse me, but uh… you're Riku, aren'cha?"
The teen jumped and whirled around, accidentally dropping the freshly-stuffed envelope on the floor, and stared.
"…what… I mean, who the hell are you?"
----------------------
A/N: Miniscule, 20-word revision 7/12/04.
Yes, Jen disregarded the whole 'Hollow Bastion was our childhood home' thing. I FELT LIKE IT LEMME ALONE. There was no other way to write this fic if I didn't use like, major references to FF7, so…
…I LOATHE THE AERISEPH PAIRING. But, Aeris/Zack is a game canon, and since Zack is in Seph, well, I had to… because we all know (FF7) Aeris has her special ability to --know-- things, yes? Bah.
—Platitudinal: Dull and tiresome but with pretensions of significance or originality (in other words, corny).
—K'sottare no baka yarou-kusai: Stupid motherfucking asshole. …maybe. I don't usually enjoy seeing Japanese in fanfics, but I figure it like this… Wutai is the FF7 world's equivalent to Japan. Yuffie is Wutaian. She wanted to insult Sephiroth badly and without anyone knowing it, therefore lapses into, ta-da, Wutaian.